Patater Oneshot: Alexei Embarrasses Himself on Live Television
Thanks for 500 followers!!
Kent Parson is pretty. That much is obvious to Alexei. It’s just not what he meant to say on national television.
It was supposed to be a fun night of raising money for a good cause but instead Alexei managed to embarrass himself in front of a live audience, along with the thousands of people watching at home.
“Thanks honey,” was all Parson had said in return, leaning over the panel table to wink at him from where he sat fifteen meters away. It took a moment for Alexei to realize what happened, what he had said wrong. A fan asked Alexei what it was like to play against players such as Kent Parson, who are so much smaller than he is. Alexei had quickly nodded, saying,
“Yes, Parson very pretty. He is good player.”
It seemed like a good enough answer, yet the audience reacted with quiet murmurs and confused looks. Tater furrowed his brow, trying to figure out what he said wrong when Parson himself had leaned forward to see him over the players sitting between them. “Thanks honey.” That’s when it made sense to Tater. He’s still working on his English and sometimes he accidentally leaves words out of sentences without meaning to, or realizing the words even belonged there. He had meant to say, ‘Yes, he is pretty small,“ it made sense in Russian, but when he tried translating it to English, it came out completely wrong.
Alexei was about to correct himself, but a different fan was already asking another player from Parson’s team a question. Instead he just sat at the panel table, blushing and glaring down at his hands. After half an hour more of the Q and A, the event ends and an NHL representative thanks the crowd for coming out to help fundraise to build schools in developing countries.
Alexei and the rest of his team head out of the ballroom and upstairs to their designated hotel rooms. He changes out of his suit and into jeans and a button down, all while stressing about what he said. There’s a knock on his door and when he opens he sees its just his teammate Jack Zimmermann.
“Tater? You think Kent Parson is attractive?” is the first thing he says. Alexei rolls his eyes and let’s his friend into his room. “Yes. Not what I mean say though,” he explains, sighing and flopping down on his bed. Jack chuckles and sits beside him.
“I’m meaning say Parson is pretty small,” he adds. Jack laughs. “Well, he keeps texting me and asking me to give him your number. He wants to um, hook up with you,” Jack says awkwardly. Alexei’s face reddens and he quickly chauffeurs Jack out of the room.
“Oh c'mon tater! When is the last time you went on a date? Now you have a guy you think is ‘pretty’ who wants to hook up with you!” Jack tries to reason with the large Russian man. Alexei is about to slam the door shut, but stops and sighs when Jack sticks his foot in the way. “Fine. Give Parson my number.” Then he pushes Jack all the way out and closes his door.