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Where do we land in the Black Sea?

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All Time Tour (All/ATL/Ashton) (Part 12)

“Which bus are we on tonight?” you asked Halsey, glancing around at the rest of the group. Alex raised an eyebrow at you, wondering why this was even a question. Great. Alex knows Ash wants to talk to me you thought. Ashton watched you from a distance, worried you’d back out of talking with him. Halsey looked around and her gaze landed on you “Where do you think we should stay?”. She crossed her arms and nodded to you, forcing you to make a decision, and waiting for an answer.

You opened your mouth, fumbling for a response, when Alex pulled you away from the group. “Go with the lads” he said. No backing out of it now you closed your eyes in frustration. “Why?” you asked, trying to play it off like nothing was wrong. He rolled his eyes “Please. Like I don’t know that you need to talk to Ashton and are now trying to back out”. You froze, you knew he knew but you held onto the hope that he really had no idea “How-”. He cut you off, answering before you could finish. “Ashley” he replied with a shrug and a smirk. “That son of a bitch” you grumbled. “Y/n” Alex said, grabbing your shoulders and leaning down so you were face to face “Go with the lads”. 

You knew Alex was pushing you on purpose. You didn’t want to talk to Ashton about whatever was going on between the two of you. He knew that you would avoid the situation as long as you possibly could, until it bothered you so much that you would have a breakdown while facing it. That was what normally happened and more often than not the situation wasn’t breakdown worthy. Alex was always one for pushing you out of your comfort zone. It was good in a way, you hated him for it, but in the end you were always glad you listened to him instead of settling for something within your small bubble of comfort. He seemed to always know what was best for you but that didn’t mean that he was never wrong.

“Fine” you grumbled and turned back to the group. “Let’s go with the lads” you told Halsey, forcing a smile and try to seem calm and collected. “Ah, the answer I was looking for” she smirked. You shook your head at her. “I have to grab some things from the other bus though” you said before walking away. “Me too” she said, following you.

“I’m done with real clothes” you announced. You changed into your pajamas, Ashton’s shirt and a pair of boxers, and slid your laptop into your camera bag. Halsey threw a few things into her backpack and looked up to see if you were ready to go. “Well it’s now or I crawl into that bunk and never come out” you said, pointing at the bunk that you hardly slept in. She rolled her eyes with a laugh “Always so dramatic”. “Always” you repeated as you walked past her and off the bus. 

You were sitting on 5SOS’s bus, transferring photos from your camera to your laptop, for less than five minutes when Halsey blurted out “Guess what y/n and I did today!”. She was greeted by 5 pairs of eyes looking up at her, you were all seated in the same area of the bus. “We went thrifting!” she smiled. “Oh boy” Michael said sarcastically. “Wow that’s something we don’t hear every time we see you” Luke leaned back and shook his head. “And I got y/n to buy a skirt” she said like it was so piece of exciting gossip. “Actually she forced me to try on a skirt, I didn’t want to but I did it anyway, and then I hated it and she loved it so she bought it for me” you said, looking back at the screen to sift through pictures. “I don’t wear skirts” you stated the fact. 

“You looked great in it!” she exclaimed. “No, I didn’t” you argued. “Well.. Maybe you should show the boys and hear their opinions” she suggested, smiling as she lifted her backpack. You glared at her “You wouldn’t”. “Oh, I brought the other clothes I got for you too. I thought if you tried them on and the guys told you that you look hot, which you totally do, it would give you a confidence boost” she said honestly. “No” you replied. “Come on y/n” she pouted. You opened your mouth to reply when Calum interrupted. “I’d like to see you in these clothes” he said with a cheeky grin. All the lads looked at you expectantly. 

After a half hour and losing the argument you found yourself in the small bus bathroom swapping your shorts for the skirt. You practically stomped out with your arms folded across your chest. Halsey stood up and tucked your shirt into the skirt so the boys could see the whole thing. I look fucking ridiculous you mentally complained. But then there was a low whistle from Michael before Ashton shoved him lightly. “I hate everything” you mumbled. “Got some nice legs on you, y/n. Not that we didn’t know that from the first night on tour” Luke laughed. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “You should model the shirt” Halsey suggested. Your eyes shot open “No way. I am never wearing that shirt”. You gave her a look that told her she was pushing the limit. “Please?” Mikey asked, giving you the puppy dog eyes look.

“Only if I can wear the flannel” you said, not putting up much of a fight this time. You knew you would lose and it wasn’t worth wasting your energy on. “Figured that” Halsey said, pulling both items out of the backpack. “And if Ashton wears the skirt” you added. If someone else looks ridiculous I might be more comfortable you rationalized. Ashton, who had been silent the whole time, made eye contact with you. You raised your eyebrow in a challenge. “Deal” he said and a real smile passed over his face for the first time that night. You ripped the skirt off as quick as you could and threw it at him before grabbing the clothes from Halsey and rushing away. “Why are you so against skirts but totally okay with going without pants?” she shouted after you. “I”m okay with it” Michael said. You heard him grunt in pain, as if he had been punched. You weren’t sure who did it, Halsey or Ashton, but it did make you laugh. 

You changed, remembering to pull your shorts back on as well. When you walked out you tried to fake confidence, not actively trying to hide your body in the oversized flannel. “Damn” the whistle came from Luke this time. You looked at him in shock. “What? I can appreciate a good looking girl” he defended himself. He shrunk back when he realized Ashton was glaring at him. You pulled the flannel around you and looked at Ashton, who was looking at you, now wearing a lazy smile with the skirt pulled over his skinny jeans. “Oh, no fair” you groaned. He shrugged but didn’t say anything. “Okay doesn’t y/n look good in that?” Halsey spoke up. All four boys agreed with a chorus of yeses accompanied by nods. 

Somehow, you weren’t really sure how because you were too self conscious to notice, Halsey had distracted Luke, Mikey, and Calum. You and Ashton were left alone in the back of the bus. Which you didn’t realize Ashton called your name and your daze lifted. “Where is everyone?” you asked. “They left like fifteen minutes ago. I was waiting for you to notice” he replied. “Oh. Sorry” you mumbled an apology. There was a pause and you felt his eyes on you “What’s wrong?”. “My tummy” you admitted. “You’re feeling sick? Do you want medicine or water or something?” Ashton asked, standing up to get you whatever you needed. “No. No. It’s just not covered” you replied quietly. 

“Oh, y/n” he said softly, sitting back down. The way he said it let you know that he understood what you meant. “You didn’t have to listen to her. You didn’t have to change. I would’ve backed you up” he tried to comfort you. “It’s okay” you said, pulling the flannel tighter around you to cover up. “You do look really good though. Like, really fucking–” you interrupted before he could finish. “What did you want to talk about?” you asked, desperately wanting the focus off your body. His face turned red and you watched as he tried to collect himself.

After a long pause you said “It’s okay Ashton. We could just hangout or go to sleep.. I’ll take the couch and you can have your bunk. We don’t have to talk right now”. He looked up “Why would you sleep on the couch? I’m the idiot. I’m the one that should sleep on the couch.”. You tilted your head to the side slightly in confusion. He sighed deeply “I’m sorry about the kiss, y/n”. He definitely noticed your face fall as you reminded yourself that it must have been the alcohol. “No. No. I’m sorry that it happened like that. It was inappropriate of me” he explained. “I mean, unless you feel like it was wrong and I shouldn’t have done it at all, in which case I am sorry” he quickly mumbled after. 

You were silent, looking down at your feet and pulling the flannel even tighter around you if that were at all possible. Apparently you were silent for too long because Ashton was shifting uncomfortably at the stillness in the air “Y/n. Please say something”. “Do you regret the kiss?” you asked him, desperately wishing he would say no. He tried to read your body language “Yes..”. There was a pause before he corrected himself” No! Fuck! No, I don’t regret it”. He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair nervously. You didn’t make eye contact with him “What does that even mean?”. This time he was silent, trying to think of how to speak without upsetting you. It was a long moment before he answered “I regret how it happened. I don’t regret kissing you”. This surprised you because you were so full of self doubt that you had already convinced yourself of the opposite.

You looked up into his eyes for the first time during the conversation. He searched your eyes and found what he was looking for and opened his arms so you could lean into him, you were happy with his answer so you did just that. “Why do you regret how it happened?” you asked quietly. “We were drunk. I was way too cocky. It just shouldn’t have happened like that” he replied, mindlessly playing with your hair as he answered. You sighed, resting your hand on his chest next to your head. He smiled down at you, noticing how much you loved him running his fingers through your hair.

“I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable, did I?” he asked. “Kissing me? No. Telling me we needed to talk? Definitely. I thought you were going to tell me everything was a huge mistake” you admitted. “Never” he mumbled quietly. “Hm?” you asked without using real words. You were struggling to keep your eyes open, every day on tour was a long one and him lightly playing with your hair was lulling you to sleep. “I would never regret kissing you unless you didn’t want me to. Then, I would feel terrible about making you uncomfortable” he explained. His answer fell upon deaf ears, you had fallen asleep curled up next to him, the conversation not quite over.

“We’ll talk more tomorrow” he said to himself. His arm snaked around your waist and he leaned back, pulling you closer before he fell asleep.

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 //

Part 9 // Part 10 // Part 11 // Part 13