“Ugh shit!” Lucille uttered in annoyance as she backed away from the plate she dropped to the ground.
“God damn it Lucille, you should fucking rest! ” Negan groaned as he bent to pick up the shattered little peices of glass .
Is it realistic to have a charachter with ptsd being always aggressive?
…. Is it realistic? Possibly.
Out of the… hundreds if not thousands of survivors I interacted with, talked to, and helped back in my advocacy days….. I can’t think of a single one.
And here’s why
Being aggressive is /exhausting/ for the most part in PTSD you see aggression as a side effect of hyper arousal and sometimes hyperarousal +hypervigilance.
I was an aggressive survivor. In college I wore wraps around my knuckles more often than not because I kept breaking them and busting them up by picking fights with brick walls. I snarky and I was angry. Professors accused me of being on uppers more than once. I wasn’t. That was just my body chemistry being completely out of control.
I also juggled around campus and stopped to play with little kids and had a reputation for balancing books on my head and dying my hair every few days.
In the beginning of my advocacy days… I was still snarky and angry. Half the reason my original peeps liked me was because all the other survivor material out there was soft and here I was cussing up a storm, unafraid to tell people with harmful stereotypes of survivors exactly where they could put their shit-
and also going ‘Hey yo, did you know that if you stick an orange in a fridge it can help with flashbacks’ ‘Having physical flashbacks? Introduce a contradictory sensation.’ ‘It’s cool if you can’t brush your teeth because of trauma- did you know there’s chewing sticks you can use instead?’ ‘yeah x isn’t a good coping mechanism but its better than dying and if thats what ya gotta do to stay alive… stay alive please’
Being aggressive all the time is exhausting. Being hyperaroused all the time is exhausting. I showed up to final exams with strep throat, an ear infection, a sinus infection, pink eye and something that looked like mono because my entire immune system crashed after being ON for about a month straight. I got a blood infection at another point that traced my body in angry red lines and wound up with me on the floor more than once.
I don’t… like the idea of a character who is aggressive all the time. At all. I don’t think it is particularly realistic.
I do think it is a reputation some survivors get that damages them. Because people take defensiveness or protectiveness as aggression and turn it into all we are. This is /especially/ true of survivors of color.
It’s a reputation that loses them access to resources and sometimes gets them killed.
I can’t stop you from writing it. But if you don’t include the consequences of what it does to the body and what it does to social status, I can tell you it is bad writing and terrible representation.
You can have a character who is sometimes aggressive. That isn’t the problem.
But be careful you aren’t dehumanizing them in the same breath.
Yo, where did Topaz go? Well… This seems like a holding cell of some sort. I guess… Topaz put Steven here and left?
Alright, lads, let me level with you. We’re on Homeworld. Probably. If I went and pulled my “HI YES HELLO NEW GEM PERSON YOU’RE SO ____” schtick every single time a new Gem showed up, it would get incredibly tiring and stale and horrible for everyone involved.
HI YES HELLO NEW GEM PERSON YOU’RE SO… Uh, question mark-haired and, err, ascot-having? AND I WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.
Yo but for real where did nicole’s “wife” go??? Like she was not present when nicole finally got cured??? Like how do we even know she was telling the truth like Nedley says something about her parents, not a wife??? Im telling you guys, Baron👏Samedi👏KNOWS👏Nicole👏Haught and he said “ see you soon” like what if he was in front of our eyes the whole damn time????
Yo! Where did you go? Don't stop drawing for the love of all that is holy. Last thing i saw was how pumped you were for Inktober. :(
AHHHHH im sorry for disappearing! jsyk I have no intention to stop drawing, ive just been swamped with making my short film this quarter (I ended up only making it to like day 10 of inktober on twitter before i had to tap out). classes finish for me in just over a week and then im gonna spend the next month making so much fun art im so excited.
i dont have a whole lot of time for tumblr during school quarters but im a lot more active on twitter since its easier to use from my phone! i sometimes post doodles on instagram too. (mainly i just feel like tumblr format works best for finished work and i havent really had much of that lately)
yo where did u go u were missing for like a week i would have called the police if it wasnt for the note those birds left on my pilow
i'm so sorry, darling, i only meant to take an evening stroll in the park, but got lost in a forest of seemingly infinite expanse. it was there that i came upon this derelict civilization of woodland creatures plagued by an evil spirit, and upon defeating it with the sword their council gifted to me, the animals crowned me their queen. it seems i lost track of time while performing the rituals to restore their kingdom to its former glory, but it was all quite exciting! i'm glad you got my note
*sighs fondly* yeah flo, communication is rly important ok? just give me a heads up next time like text me or something
of course. *she smiles, and it lights up the whole room. plants begin to sprout from where her bare feet rest on the carpet*
thank you for requesting this!!! (this might be the last part maybe???)
also warning this is very long and like dry sorry
“ok so you put your middle finger on this string, and your pointer on this one.” calum said softly in your ear sending your senses into cardiac arrest. you didn’t realise how close you two actually were.
it started raining halfway through your day on the beach with calum causing the both of you to retreat to his bedroom and find refuge on his bed. you were sat in between his spread legs, him softly instructing you on how to play the guitar. he has been trying to teach you for about an hour now but honestly you could barely remember a thing. with one arm tightly around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest, and the other over you hand, guiding your fingers over the frets, you could barely pay attention. all you could focus on was his hand over yours and his hard chest pressed against your back.
“y/n.” he whined.
“babe, you blanked out again.” he teased, resting his head in the crook of your neck, his warm breaths tickling you. you allowed yourself to lean into his embrace, muttering on about how you were being lulled to sleep by the rain.
cal took the guitar from your grip laying it gently on the floor before repositioning himself to make you more comfortable. he pulled the duvet over you both and watched with a gentle smile as you turned your body to face him, and wrapped your arms around his torso snuggling into his chest. you felt his chest rumble when he softly chuckled at you. he kiss the top of your head before pulling you tight against his chest, allowing you to gently fall asleep.
you didn’t want to be here, but mom insisted. because it was apparently important for you to ‘socialise with teens your age’. some rich kid was throwing a party and everyone was invited, even the sad new girl. you found yourself mindlessly wondering around the big ass house, winding up in the kitchen.
“hey y/n.” someone called out to you. you looked up to see trevor waving you over from the beer pong table.
you and trevor got on undeniably well. you both had the same shitty sense of humour, were into the same shows and both hated the leather jacket boyband.
“i didn’t think you would come, parties don’t seem like your thing. you look great by the way.” he said bringing you to a quieter corner of the kitchen.
“thanks. my mom was worried about me becoming an anti social pessimist so, here i am.” he laughed at your reply and was ready to say something when his friends asked him to join their game of beer pong.
he wrapped his hand around your wrist again, nodding you over to the table. “cmon, be my partner. i’ll teach you all my secret beer pong tricks.” trevor stood behind you with one hand steadying himself on your shoulder and the other around yours with a damp ping pong ball in your hand.
“right so bend your knees a little.” he instructed bending down together with you. he then bent your wrist slightly, “angle your wrist to about here. and then throw.” he flicked your wrist down sending the ball into a cup on the opponents side.
he cheered out boyish-ly, pumping his fist in the air stupidly causing you to giggle at his antics. you gave him a victory high five and a small hug and was ready to turn back to the game before you were rudely interrupted.
“sorry i need to borrow y/n.” shit, how did he find you.
before you had time to reply you were being pulled out of the house, into the backyard.
“what the hell calum let me go!” he ignored your protests and continued to drag you. only letting go when he cornered you.
“what the fuck do you think you’re doing. just because you think i’m trash doesn’t mean other people have to think so. i’ve ignored you like you wanted why are you trying to ruin my friendshi-”
a pair of soft lips cut you off mid rant. cal cupped your jaw with his hands bringing your face close to his. you tried to resist, and refused to kiss back. but you couldn’t help it, your resolve slowly slipped away and gave in. you started moving your lips with his allowing yourself to relax in his grip. there was something so comforting about being back in his embrace. you missed him, missed this. mmm, what were you mad about again.
he pulled away when you both ran out of breath, resting his forehead on yours staring right at you. the both of you said nothing. you didn’t know what to say. what the hell just happened. all you could feel was your heart beating out of your chest.
“i’m sorry. i don’t hate you. i just, i couldn’t stand there and watch you with him. i miss you, so fucking much. i know i’m being selfish but i can’t watch him slowly win you over. i don’t want to share what we had, especially not with him.” he said softly, rubbing your cheek affectionately with his thumb. and you bought every damn word. until, you heard michael shouting for calum.
you abruptly pushed him away and tried to walk, but his strong grip tugged you back into his chest. “please don’t go, please.” he begged again.
“if i’m such a shameful part of your summer then i think it’s better if we don’t see each other. fuck you if you think you i will jump right back into your arms whenever you want. i trusted you calum, i actually fucking liked you. you’ve fucked me up enough why can’t you just let me get over you.” you spat at him trying to stop tears from spilling out.
you desperately tried to wriggle out of his grip. michael was getting closer, and you didn’t want to be around when cal switched back into being an asshole.
cal cupped your face with his hands forcing you to look at him, and the look on his face made you want to pull him into a hug. “i know i’ve been a dick. but i don’t want you to get over me, because i know i can’t get over your. i didn’t know what to do when you walked up to me. i’m the school’s fuckboy. i’ve flirted with everyone and everything. and that’s not the side of me i wanted you to be around, ok? i like you so damn much, and i was so scared you would hate this side of me and i panicked. i stupidly thought i would still have you out of school. i’m sorry i hurt you, i’m sorry i humiliated you. i promise our summer meant everything to me, you’re not some summer conquest to me, you are fucking everything. i know i don’t deserve you, but i want you so fucking bad. i can bring that calum back for you, i just need you. i’m sorry y/n, please forgive me.” he tried once more.
“cal i don’t want to be your dirty little secret. we’re clearly two very different people and we are both after different things. i’m not going to allow myself to be some trophy for the school’s fuckboy and i’m not going to ask you to ruin what you have in school for a summer romance. please cal, just leave me alone i don’t want this.”
“y/n, please don’t do this.you don’t mean that. don’t ignore what we have. i just wan-”
“yo mate where did you go the party’s just getting started.” a clearly drunk michael interrupted. thank goodness.
you quickly ducked under calum’s arm and ran as fast as you could, dying to go back home. you heard him call out to you, but you shut your eyes and tried your best to ignore him and keep going.
reader and isaac have a strange friendship that becomes even stranger when she accidentally shoots him
The bell ringing brought you out of your thoughts, it was finally time for you to get home and start hunting.
Your father was a highly respected hunter and he’d been training you to be the same. Tonight was the first full moon of the month and there had been talk among other hunters of the werewolves coming out tonight.
Taking a seat in the back of the bus, you looked around to see if your classmate and bus buddy, Isaac was there yet.
Feeling the bus begin to move, you frowned realizing that Isaac hadn’t gone to school that day. Shaking your head, you cleared your brain of thoughts of the boy and focused on how you were supposed to shoot wolves in just a few hours.
“Okay Y/N, your bow and arrow are all ready to go? It’s getting dark out so we need to start making our way into the woods.” Your father’s voice spoke as you rechecked to make sure you had all your arrows.
Nodding, you spoke, “Yup, all good.”
Your father gave you a small smile before patting your shoulder, “You’re gonna do good, I know it. Just aim and shoot, I’ll take care of the animal after.”
Okay, aim and shoot, it seemed simple. Or so you thought.
Walking alone through the woods at 10pm was scary, even more so when you knew that there were rabid werewolves all around.
Hearing rustling in front of you, you quickly took out an arrow and aimed before inching closer to the sound.
All you saw was a tail and that was enough for you to release your arrow.
You heard a heard a yelp which was from the werewolf, then you hear a cry which was definitely not from the werewolf.
Walking closer, you realized it was not a wolf, but a boy who was crouched into he fetal position.
“H-Hello?” You spoke as you cringed when you spotted your arrow sticking out of his back.
The boy turned to face you which made you gasp when you realized who he was.
Your eyes widened as you rushed to his side, “Isaac!?”
“Y/N? You shot an arrow through me?” He whimpered while trying to sit up.
“I thought you were a werewolf! I-I’m pretty sure I saw a tail and I just shot then I you cried then I-”
Isaac cut off your rambling, “You did see a werewolf…”
You furrowed your eyebrows, “But then where did it go? Why were yo-”
Your voice faded out when you began to put two and two together.
“You are a werewolf.” You said it more to yourself than to him.
The curly haired boy nodded while sighing, “Yeah, n-newly turned.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
He scoffed, “That’s not really something you tell the girl you like, especially if she’s a huntress-”
Your hands froze on his back, you were trying to take the arrow out of him.
“Wait, you like me?”
Isaac cracked a smile before wincing, “Of course, why do you think I take the bus everyday? I don’t even live on your side of town.”
You let out a laugh, “Well I’m sorry for shooting you with my arrow.”
He nodded, “I’m sorry for not telling you about me.”
“I understand, I mean I am a huntress.” You shrugged while helping him up.
Realizing he was naked, a blush appeared on your cheeks which only made him smirk.
Now all you had to do was talk to your dad about not hunting in this area anymore.