where art thou angel

You interrupted me in doing the ‘fish-stick’ mortal…

Cosplay: Sheogorath (The Elder Scrolls)

Cosplayer: ME @bravestcolour

Photographer: Laffing Stock Photography


Chuck/God and Amara/The Darkness, according to each other.

Whilst I’m sure tonight’s episode will provide a lot more flesh to the relationship between Chuck and Amara I’ve been wanting to put this together for a few days now, because when Chuck said he was lonely in 11x20 I thought of how Amara may have felt the same way. Right at the beginning, two utterly opposing forces with no one but each other for company, who couldn’t understand one another.

God tried to show the Darkness something other than the two of them, a creation that could be better than them. Amara says that she only felt the ‘emptiness’ of the souls God created, despite her own apparent state of ‘nothingness’, and wonders why anyone would want to live in a world where mankind has been made to suffer and then die. Amara says that whilst she is fascinated by God’s creation (or at least, Dean) in 11x06, she can feel how empty they are. She thinks that God screwed up when he created mankind.

God is light, being, chaos. The Darkness is peaceful bliss and nothingness. This is what she promises to Dean, that with her he won’t have to suffer any longer. No rules or prayer, just bliss.

I really like this sort of contrast between them, and it’s developing in a way that places them neither as the hero or the villain of the story. Neither of them are strictly right or wrong in this and both have committed terrible acts against humanity. What’s funny is that they are both strikingly similar, and they both argue a case against the other that is also similar. Amara is ultimate destruction who wants to unmake the world, God is the ‘it’s my way or the highway’ ego-maniac etc. What’s interesting though is that we’re (as of yet) not really being led to side with either of them - it’s not a matter of who is right or wrong, only that their argument threatens humanity’s existence. The light isn’t good, and the dark isn’t evil.

As Metatron said, and Rowena before him, the key is not in detail, but balance.


“If it weren’t for the crisis topside, you wouldn’t be getting one now.” 

I just needed to express how much this little scene broke my heart. The way Lucifer’s humor just fades away for that one moment… the way he sort of loses his energy and looks, for one instant, almost fragile… he just has the appearance and the tone of someone who is a breath away from abandoning all hope. He hadn’t been certain that Sam would come, and, even when he did, Lucifer knew he had to tread lightly to convince him to stay - to convince him to free the archangel. He wants him to make this easy, because he doesn’t want to cross a line. (”Don’t make me do this…”) It’s the slightest glimpse behind that self-assured mask he wore in S11, and that 5 seconds just does something to my heart, every time. 

My Angel (Fraciel’s POV)

for @shatteredwings55

Oh, angel, my angel,

Where for art thou?

Why must God be so cruel in parting us?

Does he not know, to keep us apart is to clip my own wings?


Oh, angel, my angel,

Where for art thou?


They called you the Morningstar

The Bringer of Dawn

Won’t you light my way?

Won’t you bring the sun to my world of darkness?


Oh, angel, my angel,

Where for art thou?


It is so silent now

There is no sweet music to satiate me

All I can think of is your beautiful voice

Will you not sing for me?


Oh, angel, my angel,

It has been so long since we’ve held each other.

Still, my love for you has not broken down


As a tree grows stronger over time

So has my love for you.

I am yours

And for you, I will wait.


Oh, angel, my angel,

Where for art thou?


Do you see the stars in the sky?

The one that shines so brightly it is like a beacon?

Follow it, let it lead you back to me.


Oh, angel, my angel,

Where for art thou?


What is love if not unyielding faith?

No matter the lies they spread of you,

My faith in you never dies.

It only grows stronger.


They cannot tarnish my thoughts of you.

They cannot break my love for you.

They cannot swipe my hope of finding you.


Oh, angel, my angel,

I have found you.

Here you will stay,

Safe and sound in my arms.


What’s this rolling down my face? Tears of disappointment? No, it’s -why it’s urine from where I’ve just dunked my whole head in the nearest toilet in an angry rage.
This is my message, and it’s for you, Supernatural writers.
I started being interested in Supernatural in May 2014, when I stumbled across a picture of Dean Winchester on a mainly Sherlock Instagram account I was following. Shortly afterwards, I watched a few episodes on E4, where they show episodes a season or so behind the ones coming out in the States. That’s the curse of being an English person watching American tv shows. At the time, they were showing season 9. I seem to remember the first one I saw was the one with those strange fat-sucking monsters, and Donna, ie. one of the two best sheriffs ever. Soon after that, I followed a number of Supernatural Instagram’s and Twitter’s, and I discovered this amazing thing, something I’d already half thought myself. Destiel.
The greatest love story never told.
Wanting to keep up with Season 10, I found a (not entirely legal) way of watching the new episodes as they aired. I developed a hatred for monster of the week episodes (good god, aren’t they awful?) and discovered more about these three amazing characters.
Sam, Dean, and Castiel. I don’t have a favourite out of Dean and Cas (sorry Sam, you’re in third-ish place, pal) and the dynamic between them fascinated me. At that point I was watching the show from an ‘outsider’ position; I followed a few fan accounts but not more than 3 or 4, I didn’t read or write fanfiction, I had no idea who played any of the characters (in the UK, if you say 'Misha Collins’ people just look at you blankly). I realised several things.
One: the eight seasons I’d missed clearly contained a LOT of either queer baiting or intentional romantic (sexual?) build up for the angel in the trenchcoat and the tough, domineering hunter.
Two: the whole show was like nothing I’d ever seen before. It had a truly 'American’ feel that I liked, despite being told as a child that McDonalds came from the States and therefore they were all EVIL.
Three: there were some very talented actors.
Four: there were some very talented writers. Certain episodes are gold, take, for example, the only episode not from in season 9, 10, or 11 that I’ve watched; The French Mistake.
After a while, I got more into the Supernatural fan base. Being a new fan in the black hole that is the Supernatural 'fandom’ is a bit like buying a horse; they hide all the bad bits, like bog spavins and partial blindness, until you get it vetted and you realise that the 'sound, good to box, show, and hack’ horse that you were going to buy is actually a 25 year old ex-riding school pony with cushings disease. What I mean, for those of you with no knowledge of horses, is that I didn’t see the bad bits at first. In an attempt to integrate, I made an anonymous fan account, not linked to my personal.
On the inside, I could see it all; the vicious fights about ships, the insults towards fans and cast that frankly bordered on abuse and harassment, and the way in which some people were just so rude and appallingly ignorant of how far their words could travel in the great expanse of the Internet. #SPNfamily. Yeah, right.
But I also discovered the other side of it; the brilliant weirdness that is Misha Collins, the kindness and incredible acting of Jensen Ackles, the caring and sharing nature of Jared Padalecki, and the rest of the cast, leads, regulars and all, from Kathryn Newton to Kim Rhodes to Mark Pellegrino. Also the creativity of the fans, I saw, was novel.
Season 11 took too long to arrive. One long summer of sweating (I dislike the heat) and then, it finally arrived with a couple of episodes which I enjoyed, not because of any good writing, but simply because I was so pleased to see the cast back on the screen. The Darkness (not the band) was an idea I didn’t like. The first episode saw Cas under Rowena’s spell, and Dean meeting the overtly sexualised Amara. It was then we all felt that this wasn’t going to go well. The next few episodes were all right; the zombie things and all that stuff at the hospital was great, and I actually thought it was going somewhere. Silly me. Then Sam cured himself with a burning marshmallow and it all seemed to get forgotten. The best episode came next, my favourite episode I ever watched; 11x4, The Bad Seed. Directed by Jensen, with Dean and Sam working together to save Cas, I thought it was all fixed and they’d spend the rest of the season together. It was a Destiel heaven, that ep, and directed by Jensen himself. I was insanely excited.
The reaction from some 'Wincest’ (If there’s one thing I can’t stomach it’s incest.) fans was to abuse Jensen’s Twitter, and complain they wanted 'more bros’. The only way you could get more bros in that show would be to have 49 minutes of them sitting in the Bunker doing case research. What show have they been watching? I felt hopeful though, as that scene where Cas was cured was brilliant (that face touch. Give me a shoulder to cry gently onto). Baby was another episode that I really liked. It was funny and inclusive. Whoever wrote that deserves a medal. The comments from certain people about that episode made me want to ban anyone from using the words 'brothers’ and 'supernatural that we know and love’ in the same sentence, though.
Then we get to Plush. Despite it being a monster of the week episode, I really enjoyed the idea that was 'toyed’ with there. I love clowns. I’m not going to lie; the creepier the better. It was a filler episode that wasn’t a pointless one to fill up the season.
Just My Imagination was good too. Funny, cute, and interesting for Sam’s storyline, which has been one of the only things worth watching this season.
Now though we have this train-wreak, this atrocity, this disgusting piece of badly written and created television.
I have several issues with it. Firstly, the title. Oh Brother Where Are Thou? Are you kidding me? Make it You, to start with, if you’re not going to use Art instead of Are. It sounds wrong. Also, which brother are they referring to? No time was spent where one was looking for the other, except about 20 seconds of Sam ringing Dean and him not answering because he was too busy off snogging Gods bloody sister, the Darkness who’s probably killed roughly 100 people by now.
That’s the bit that made me really angry. We saw Amara grow from a tiny baby, become steadily more sexualised, and now, when she’s fully grown, she makes out with Dean. It’s disgusting. I’ve got nothing against Emily Swallow, in fact I think she’s a good actor, but this? It shows a lack of consent and, worse, proves what I’ve been trying to ignore ever since I started watching Supernatural; Dean is a shallow character, driven by a need for both control and acceptance, and governed only by his massive sexual appetite.
You can forget about it in his tender moments, like when he saves innocent people, sacrifices his life for his brother and the world, when he says “Cas!”, his voice cracking slightly with fear and a submerged need. But I can see it painfully clearly now. The writers have written him to destruction.
It ties back to the 200th episode. It seemed good at first, a shoutout to the large and passionate fan base, but then, when you look into it you realise it’s almost mocking. “You can have your version of things, but we won’t listen or put it in the show. Hell no. We’ll humour you with this episode, and then we’ll be back to ignoring you.” Now, we see that, although they all know what a majority of the 'online’ fan base wants, and must be aware of how they’ve written and acted the last 8 seasons, they continue to write Cas-less episodes and do nothing with the build up they’ve spent years either intentionally or accidentally creating. And this with Amara. It’s like they’re trying to cover their ears, sing lalalalala very loudly and feast their eyes on that hetero kiss they’ve shoved down our throats. Because Destiel will never be canon, and this is something I know almost for certain. The truth is sad, and yet it exists. I wish it didn’t, but it does. It’s not because of homophobia. I don’t think any of the the writers are homophobic, but it’s just something they’ll never do, because they’ll risk upsetting their 'floating viewers’, the ones that make all the difference to the ratings and viewings. Also, they’ll upset the minority. Remember the way in which the photographs of Jensen and Misha play fighting and the paragraphs about them on the convention website were taken down when some fans complained? They were replaced by a photo of Jensen and Jared, with a separate one of Misha.

I’d just like to credit the outstanding acting of Mark Pellegrino for Lucifer. He really saved the ep, and I think he may have been channeling the 'spirit’ of a certain joker. (Obviously you can’t channel spirits. They don’t exist. I know that.) Also I’d like to commend the excellent acting of Mark Sheppard and Ruthie Connell. And, although they are in very few eps, Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster (is that spelt right?) on their great characters.

It’s time, writers. Do something, something big, something new. Surprise me. It’s a challenge, you know. You’ve spat on my last remaining hope for the show. Now you need to hand me the sanitiser to wipe it off.
And now, as this took me over two hours and a lot of neck clicking to write, I’d appreciate a read and a reblog. Cheers.

Supernatural writers: Make Destiel canon. I dare 'ya.