where are you alexei

forever starts right now.

For Patater Week. Set in Careful the Tale You Tell verse.

It’s about two months into their relationship. (Their proper relationship, not the year of fumbling that led them there.) Kent’s bugging Alexei about his stuff taking up too much room in Kent’s dresser drawers. “Can’t we, like, pick a drawer that’s yours and you can have that one, so your shit isn’t all messed up with mine?”

“You’re wanting to share drawers?” Alexei says, merrily putting a pair of pants in right next to Kent’s pants, god damn it.

“At least can we fucking talk about it?”

“Pff. No, too early. We talk about it when we get married,” Alexei says breezily.

Kent nearly trips face first over his own dropped jaw.

And from then on, it turns into a thing.

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Patater Week - Day 2

Feb. 7- Proposal/Wedding Day/Wedding Night (1.5K)

“I’m nervous,” Kent says.

“Change your mind?” Alexei teases, only feeling a tiny bit worried. He doesn’t think Kent will actually bail on him, now that they’re both in their suits and the hall is surely packed with their families and teammates. Bittle would cry if anything happened, Alexei thinks. And then skin both of them alive.

But then again, Alexei did see Runaway Bride twice with Snowy, when he was first learning English and someone had the brilliant idea that the best way to learn is to watch all the classic romcoms. Snowy, it turns out, is a big fan of Richard Gere. Kent doesn’t look like he’s ready to bolt, but he did seem skittish, and in the movie, Julia Roberts had been very skittish.

“No, never,” Kent says, taking Alexei’s hands and rubbing his thumb over Alexei’s palms. His hair is already a little mussed, the untamable cowlick threatening to pop back up. “Not about you. I know I’m an ass about a lot of things, but you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“Good to know,” Alexei says, letting out a breath of relief. “You tell me now, then what you say for vows?”

“Oh, God,” Kent laughs nervously. “Oh man. That’s—that’s the thing. The vows. In front of a bunch of people. I could probably do it. Maybe. You wouldn’t happen to be carrying Xanax on you?” He chuckles and scratches the back of his neck, but his jaw drops when he sees Alexei rummage in his pockets. “Wait, I’m just joking. I don’t actually—what the hell is that?”

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I’M GONNA TALK SOME MORE ABOUT TATER’S LESBIAN MOMS. I had the original idea back in October, and then I decided I was going to do it for my Swawesome Santa, which I thought was super secret like Yuletide, so I clammed up about it since then. So I actually put a fair amount of work into researching the idea, but the fic turned into this monstrously huge unwieldy outline with 14 separate plot-important scenes at its smallest, and like five different emotional arcs, and I couldn’t do it, so I wrote Leave Your Lovers Like Campfires instead.

So now I’ll just cut it down to one aspect, which is Tater’s moms Sasha and Galina. Even just cut down to one aspect, in bullet points, without weaving in the other plot threads, this post is three thousand words long. /o\

I read what I could find in my libraries on social and LGBT history in Russia, but resources in English are honestly pretty limited and I know I’m making shit up here. MY APOLOGIES TO ACTUAL RUSSIANS. But for what it’s worth, the books I found most useful were Lesbian Lives in Soviet and Post-Soviet Russia by Francesca Stella, Cracks in the Iron Closet: Travels in Gay and Lesbian Russia by David Tuller, and Putin Country: A Journey Into the Real Russia by Anne Garrels.

Content notes: Homophobia, being closeted, coming out, mental illness, and suicide.

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anonymous asked:

If you're still taking prompts I would die for a continuation of your NSFW photo shoot fic. Maybe we could see them after the article is released/dealing with being a Thing now?

Patater Photoshoot part 2

The magazine was released one month after the photoshoot. Similar to when Kent and later Alexei came out as gay and bisexual, the public seems to be in shock. The pictures went viral overnight, the most popular being the one where Alexei is holding Kent up against a wall, followed by the photo where Alexei has his hands on Kent’s ass.

Kent really hoped his mom wouldn’t see the pictures. Unfortunately at exactly 10:00 the following morning, he received an email from her. He was expecting something about her complaining about the explicit pictures of him with another man and how inappropriate it all is. Instead she wrote a short lettter:

Hi Kenny,

I saw you on the news today, your pictures are very popular! Now who on earth is the handsome man posing in them with you? I read the article, all about you and your chemistry with him. Tater? Is that his real name? Anyways I expect a phone call from you soon. And bring him over for dinner.

From your favourite mommy ❤️

Kent sighed in relief, at least she doesn’t seem to care that most of the photos looked like Alexei was fucking Kent’s brains out.

Things with Alexei have been interesting since. They tried going out for dinner to celebrate the article’s success, but as they were eating they were bombarded by hockey fans. Instead they ended up in Kent’s apartment with Chinese takeout. Alexei actually spends a lot of time in Kent’s apartment, cherishing his time off before they both have to get back to waking up early to proactive hockey. It’s all very… domestic.

Kent was expecting a lot of sex.

He expected wrong. Other than the photoshoot, they haven’t even kissed. He’s even hinted at it, but Alexei doesn’t seem to want to have any sort of romance with him. It fucking sucks for Kent. He kind of feels lead on too. Why would Alexei get him off at the photoshoot and then spend so much time with him if he just wants to be friends?

The answer hit Kent while he was putting dishes away. And by hit, I mean really hit. Alexei is using him for publicity! Why else would he stick around?! The realization causes his chest to tighten with pain and he drops the plate to the ground. Because of course Kent fell hard for Alexei, and of course Alexei is just using him. Kent doesn’t get happy endings.

Alexei entered the kitchen when he heard the plate shatter on the floor.
“What Happen, kitten?“ He asks, big brown eyes blinking curiously. “Don’t call me that!” Kent gasps, taking a step back from the man. “Be careful where you are step!“ Alexei exclaims, as Kent’s foot narrowly missed a sharp piece of the ceramic plate. Kent doesn’t seem to hear him. “I think you should go,” he hissed back. Alexei blinks down at him in confusion. “I’m do something bad?“ Gosh, his cute face is so fucking innocent and sweet. “Yes! I like you, very very much but it’s obvious you don’t feel the same. You’ve been staying with me for weeks now and honestly I thought maybe you were into me too but obviously I was wrong, so I just think you should leave.” Alexei looks dumbfounded. “But I am liking you,“ he says. “You very pretty and funny and I’m like your weird love of cell biographies!”

“Cell biology, Alexei. Not biography,“ Kent corrects him. It wasn’t a word Alexei was familiar with until Kent.
“Please, get your things and go.” Kent steps over the broken plate and heads to the living room. “What happen?! We are happy and okay and then next minute you mad at me! I’m not do anything! I am liking you!“ Alexei exclaims, eyes wide and his hands were shaking slightly. Kent has never seen him upset before, but he doesn’t like it.
“Exactly, Mashkov. You didn’t do anything. You say you like me but you haven’t kissed me, you haven’t even held my hand since that fucking photoshoot. You’re just using me for the publicity.” Kent sits down on the couch, reaching for Kit, who hops off and runs to attack Alexei’s feet. The Russian sighs and picks up the kitten, kissing her head gently. Kit purrs loudly and Alexei holds her in his arms like a baby.
“Why you call me Mashkov now? I’m Alexei and you my princess.“ He puts the cat down and sits beside Kent, who is struggling to keep tears in.
“Kenny… I’m not kiss you because I’m scared you are not wanting,” he explains. Kent scoffs. “Dude, you’re YOU of course I wanted you to kiss me.“ Alexei just nods, leaning back against the couch as sighing.

“I legit let you jerk me off at a photoshoot, why would I not want you to kiss me?” Alexei shrugs. “I forced myself on you. Not wanting you do things don’t want,“ he explains sadly. Kent rolls his eyes and moves to cuddle up against the larger man. “Lexi, I want everything from you. Like there’s literally nothing sexual you could do to me that I wouldn’t want. Just saying.”

Alexei’s arms fasten around his waist. “Whatever you are wanting, just ask me and I’m give to you,“ he says, running fingers through Kent’s hair. The smaller man smiles, kissing Alexei on the cheek softly. “Well I wouldn’t mind cuddling for awhile,” he says quietly. Tater grins before hugging him tighter.

* * *

The managers for the Aces were slightly disappointed with the photoshoot. A lot of the middle aged male fans stopped buying tickets, merchandise etc. because somehow pictures of Kent looking like he’s being fucked made them uncomfortable. Somehow. The staff quickly quickly got over it though when thousands of teens and adults who use the app “Tumblr" began investing in the aces. Something about a problematic blond and a gorgeous Russian being an “OTP", whatever that means.

The media was supportive of the photoshoot which was nice. Kent’s team was cool with it too, though the chirping never ends. Every practice in the changerooms, Kent receives half a dozen chirps about Mashkov. Alexei is in the same situation, but he doesn’t mind. He just grins proudly every time because, “Haha I’m fuck pretty captain and you have left hand. Haha.“

Patater Family!AU

I just want Kent Parson and Alexei Mashkov as the media darlings, which then ascends to hockey power couple after they go public because Tater is the biggest Russian potato romantic in the world. When he doesn’t have a game he goes to Kent’s game with a Parson jersey. (Kent does the same with Tater’s games). And when they adopt their son they become power hockey family.   He would get a mini jersey and Tater used to carry their son on his shoulders literally every fucking where, to Kent’s aggravation, until: ”Alexei, put him down you are a giant his forehead is going to hit the door frame.” “No Kenny I will keep him safe–” “Ow.” “OHHHHHH PAPA IS SO SORRY WHERE DOES IT HURT” etc etc

You see Kent with his designer sunglasses pushing their son on the swings. He’s going to turn into that one PTA parent with the indoor sunglasses going “Karen, your brownies are shit. My husband and I will take care of the snacks next time.” But Tater’s shit at cooking too so they end up getting the goods from a fancy bakery and passing it off as their own (”But Kenny this is cheating.” “Tater your mini pies look nothing like the pictures Jack sent I am not showing that to Karen I’m in too deep.”)

Tater’s that parent who has wallets of his husband and family, like if anyone even mention Kent or son he’s whipping out the phone and opening the photo album. When their kid is more into soccer than hockey you just KNOW they try to make every single game (”I’m sorry Daddy and I couldn’t come to last game.” “It’s okay Pa.” “No not ok”) so when they miss one they turn up the extra and cheer like Embarrassing Parents™ for the next one. The referee has to come to them and say, “Sirs, there are families present I’m going to ask you to tone down the profanities” “THAT WAS CLEARLY A FOUL” “Mr. Parson they are 7-year-olds.” “Tater back me up.”) The two of them just support their kid so much their son is going to be one of the most loved kids in the world. 

anonymous asked:

if you were to sort otma and alexey into hogwarts houses (from harry potter), where would you place each of them?

Have to say I utterly love this question!

Let´s see….

The Sorting Hat would choose the Ravenclaw for Olga Nikolaevna, based on her intelligence as well as rather melancholic disposition. Tatiana Nikolaevna would join her in the Ravenclaw house, where she would work dilligently and keep up with other students well, and where she would, much like Olga, find pleasure in literature and abstract ideas. There are no Harry Potter characters I would compare them too though.

Maria Nikolaevna would get to choose between Hufflepuff, for which she would be wonderfully pre-dispositioned by her natural selflessness, readiness to help as well as dislike for studying way too hard, and Griffindor, for in her heart she was very brave and not afraid to take a risk to protect what and whom she loved. Let´s say she is made from a similar grain as Neville Longbottom.

Anastasia would be sent directly to Griffindor. She would be the cause of the house loosing hundreds of points each year, but she would always be forgiven by other students, because they just like her antics too much. Same for Alexei Nikolaevich. But for both the Sorting Hat may have also been thinking about Slytherin, given their sneaky cunning ways of mischief. Even the Weasley twins would, in paralel universe, admire these two.

Last Patater for the night!! CP needs to update soon because I’m shipping two characters who’ve never met in the comics yet…. This one is probably from the same AU as this post

Tater, being the gross romantic he is, is really really into old jazz songs (he watched a lot of old films prior to coming to the US to try and pick up phrases here and there) and I’ve read headcanons where Tater full-on courts Kent with the flowers and wining+dining like in the movies. And even after a year together, he still tries to surprise Kent in incredibly cheesy ways, whether it be his birthday, their anniversary, or just for no reason at all because Tater has a heart of certified gold and he just loves his angry, determined Ace a lot. I imagine Kent acts really aloof upon seeing the surprises because he’s not really used to having someone showing so much open affection, so he says things that sound kind of dickish like “You are honestly really embarrassing,” but on the inside he’s totally bugging and going !!!!!!!

So let’s say Kent is in some rink, not in full gear since he’s just kind of practicing by himself. Tater had canceled on him earlier because he has some last-minute whatever to do even though they had planned to meet up for Kent’s birthday, so Kent stopped listening after he realized Tater wasn’t coming. He turned down offers to go club hopping, for the first time in his birthday history, and right now he’s just whacking the pucks with more force than necessarily, wondering if he’s finally scared Tater off for good. The thought of that depresses and infuriates him at the same time, and he’s lowkey going into some sort of weird shame-anger spiral when he hears faint music from somewhere, the old timey Sinatra that Tater was also partial to. Kent holds his hockey stick up defensively only to see the side door open, and Alexei appearing with a bouquet, trying to navigate the rink with dress shoes with a fair amount of difficulty like a giraffe. The sight of Tater is so sudden and ridiculous, but Kent can’t find it in him to chirp. He skates over immediately, slams into Tater, who finally looses his footing and lands on his ass with Kent on top, the flowers going everywhere.

“Like in the movies, Kenny,” he says, running his fingers through blond hair. “Happy birthday.”

“Shut up,” Kent says, in between kisses and burying his face in Alexei’s shoulder. “How did you even do this? How did you know where I was?”

“Oh. I didn’t,” Alexei says, and points to the far left counter. “I ask your teammate.”

Kent lifts his head and, from afar, he sees his roommate/teammate holding up a boombox and a camera phone in the other hand. “Hi Parser!”

Kent flops his head back on Tater. The video is played at their wedding three years later, and it’s just as embarrassing as it was the first time.

anonymous asked:

I really like how if you look through your art from the start of where you first started drawing Colora and Alexei you can see the gradual progression of the awkward "I-like-you-and-would-totally-wanna-be-datemates-but-Anxiety" to "oh my god ur Gr8 and I'd hold ur hand thru hell and back" and it's just super neat!!

dont u just hate when u accidentally sit too close to a mutant monster alien and fall in love with them