I was going to post this on Twitter but everyone who actually knows me in real life would make fun of me so i’ll just post it on here since I don’t care what you guys think about me

#WhenIWasLittle I heard to get bigger boobs you had to hit them really hard so I would sit around slapping my boobs to make them grow, even in the shower I would just slap them waiting for the shampoo in my hair to be done. 

when I was in second grade I drew a picture for school about insects and how they would one day take over the world, but I spelled insects wrong so the picture said, "one day incest will take over the world." My teacher got concerned and called my mom.