when-you-have-no-words

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Happy Minnie Day!! | Brighter than the Sun~

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Yoonkook Week Day 1: Favorite moment(ssssss) 

Love is commitment. Love is not always understanding them, but trying to. Love is knowing that when life gets too heavy, you have them to spot you. Love is both words and action. Love is when your mistakes are your fault alone and making excuses is too risky so your only option is to try to fix them. Love is not having to wait until you’re drunk or it’s 2am to show them your soul. Love is when flaws are just another part of the masterpiece. Love is saying what needs to be said because honesty might be painful but they’re too priceless to lie to. Love is when you can’t be happy if they aren’t. Love is respect. Love is patience. Love is being kind. Love is love is love.
—  maxwelldpoetry // What is love to you?
Love returns and you have
just pulled yourself out of water.  
Love comes in from the sand and
turns honey into topaz and topaz
back into honey again. 
Its hands full, a shade of sun glow,
a basket of mornings.
But when love returns
your eyes are still tuning in 
a lighter shade of blue.
Hair sneezing, breeze low, and slowly 
stumbling into skin. Love,
returns, and you aren’t ready.
Love returns and you have
only just pulled your heart
out of water.
—  Alessia Di Cesare, Ready
Finnish learning things #37

Me: Okay, what’s ‘snow’ in Finnish?

Finnish: lumi, loska, sohjo, iljanne, viti, huurre, hanki, nietos, kohva, -

Me: Aaaalright, and what’s ‘to snow’?

Finnish: … tulee lunta… or… sataa lunta…

Me:

Finnish: … :D

the real question: who wrote the message

composure

From an early age, Andrew has learned that nothing good ever came from emotions. Caring for someone was exhausting when in a few months’ time, maybe even a few weeks, he would be off to the next foster home. So Andrew stopped. He stopped caring for people who would only disappoint him. He stopped caring for himself when it was easier to forget the pain that way. He stopped caring for life itself when it proved that it was not going to get better. It was what made Andrew not only a good goalie, but a great one. He cut nanoseconds off his reaction time by skipping the shock and excitement when a ball is lobbed his way.

But then Neil Josten came along and Andrew was drawn to him like fly to a honey trap. His scattered thoughts jumped around but kept on landing on Neil Josten, dangerous. Neil Josten, the boy who didn’t add up. Neil Josten, where it didn’t matter if he swung or not, as long as he was close, as long as he was protected from the nightmares chasing him. That was enough.

Then Neil went to the nest. To protect him. ‘If it means losing you, then no.’ Those words reverberated through his head on an endless loop. Andrew did not have friends. Not like that. Not someone who would willingly go through hell, no matter how pointless, just for him. The signals weren’t so clear anymore. When Neil asked that one question, Andrew decided he would finally spell it out loud and clear. ‘That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.’ And it finally got across to Neil.

Andrew watched as Neil recalculated the world like he was prone to do. He checked the exits out of habit and then he locked eyes with him and Andrew saw something that made his heart beat a little faster, his hands become a little sweaty, his face twitch minutely in a semblance of a real smile.

And then it was gone. Because hope wasn’t something he believed in. Hope was a construct of fools and of people who disliked words for their sound and connotation and not for their life experiences.

When Neil was standing in front of him asking what he was afraid of ‘heights’ came out, but another fear was there bubbling up from the depths. A fear that had blue eyes, auburn hair, and a reckless personality.

And when Neil was on the roof and Andrew leaned in and Neil wasn’t moving and their lips touched and Neil still was not moving to stop him, his heart felt like exploding. But like a tire with slow leak, it deflated and he pushed Neil away.

But Neil kept on coming back and back and back. Until he was gone. And Andrew realized that he was a fool. He made a mistake. He let someone in. He knew better. After Aaron. After Cass. After he was seven and please no longer meant being polite. His emotions were out of hand. He didn’t realize the control he had learned over the course of his life was gone, slipping away slowly until it hit the ground and shattered into a million pieces.


AO3: inhale

You make me want to get up on Monday mornings.
—  Things I realized when I embraced my feelings towards you, part XVII

So many questions…

STORY UPDATES+

Let’s be real here for a quick moment, my story is a hot mess. I can track it but I wrote it but it does not have the same appeal when I present it. I am frustrated with how chaotic it has become, it is a story I want to tell but I’ve been trying to make things work with my mistakes and it has become confusing and difficult to track/follow. Frankly it is/was cliche.

I do not want to dig a deeper hole so I am just going to cancel the whole thing. I personally believe it is beyond recovery. 

Keep reading

We arrived at Jabberwock Park…
In the middle of the park, there’s a bronze statue shaped like five fictitious animals.
It looks like there’s no one else here except us…
What should we do now?

>This looks like a great spot for napping.