when you're ready

When people try to tell me Mercy76 is gross...
  • Person: Ewwww! Mercy76 is gross because he's 15 years older than her.
  • Me: My dad was born in 1947. My mom was born in 1962.
  • Person: Umm... okay?
  • Me: Do the math. Last I checked, that's 15 years. So my dad is 15 years older than my mom.
  • Person: Oh
  • Me: Yup. They've been married for almost 30 years btw
  • Person: *immediately changes subject*

People need to start learning the difference between “artistic nudity” and “literal porn” because it seems you think they’re one and the same.

I just want to remember everything. I don’t care if remembering more stuff hurts. It bugs me so much knowing more might have happened to me than I am remembering
—  Posted by Anonymous
Vmin Cooking Time
  • Cookbook: Step One: Prepare the chicken.
  • Taehyung, holding the chicken close: It's gonna be okay, chicken. Just tell me when you're ready.
  • Jimin: NOT THAT KIND OF PREPARING
Signs as Dads
  • Aries: *tries to play catch* *throws baseball way too hard* WELL DON'T STAND WHERE I'M THROWING
  • Taurus: "Hi hungry, I'm dad"
  • Gemini: "So what's the 411? What's the get down with the get down? What's on the DL?"
  • Cancer: *driving kids to soccer game in mini van* "Does everyone have their juice boxes and snack packs? Check. Alright, now does everyone have their game faces on? chECK !"
  • Leo: *pulls out a 2nd graders yearbook* okay son, now you point out and tell me about the kid that was calling you names cuz someone is gonna learn a lesson ta-DAY"
  • Virgo: "Son, what did i say about going into my study?!" *looks at room dedicated to star wars action figures and collectables* "These are NOT toys, they are NOT to be played with. Do i make myself clear?"
  • Libra: *at the country club* oh shit, i was suppose to pick up the kids
  • Scorpio: "Damn it Nelson, I told you to stop pulling your sisters hair. If you make me pull this car over you will be sorry you were even born yoU LITTLE FUCKING SHIT *pulls car over*
  • Sagittarius: *drinking bourbon and wearing sun-visor with fake hair on top" "it's lit yall"
  • Capricorn: *talking to 5 year old child* "I don't play. I was kicked out of kindergarten because i don't fucking play. So let me know when you're ready to start acting like an adult."
  • Aquarius: *at PTA meeting* okay so listen to this guys. What if we put all our kids together, gear em up in superhero uniforms, and start the revolution"
  • Pisces: "What time is it"

BEHOLD MY NEW AND HORRIFIC CREATION.

Tagging my babes as usual so we can all bask in this man’s sweaty, hairy, and musky bod: @cavern-of-bells @wonky-glass-ornament @suzunesays @dear-mrs-otome @incubeebirb @yoolee @sengokugenkigirl and I feel like I’m forgetting someone so sorry (or maybe you’re lucky) if I am lmao.

Also, I am so sorry Bob. Your body doesn’t deserve to be mutilated this way. But unfortunately, it fits perfectly for the Magistrate.

*All rights go to FOX and Voltage Inc.*

jamesthekiwibird  asked:

Hi Kieron, long time reader, third time questioner here. You've posted previously that you research, plan and essentially 'story/worldbuild' for quite some time before putting hand to keyboard. My question is, how do you know when you're ready to start writing? Are you like the Alexander Hamilton of character development wherein you're "never satisfied" or do you suck it up and write for story and passions sake?!

Okay, I’m just going to have a ramble on this one.

Well, “never satisfied” is an inescapable part of doing any art. Whatever you do, it’s never enough. So get used to that.

Research and Worldbuilding aren’t 1:1 things, it’s worth remembering. It’s also worth remembering there are many philosophies on this one, and much of what follows has exceptions.

At least in part to the Tolkien-derived fantasy sorts, there’s been a swing to “All worldbuilding is terrible. Just make it up as you go along” as a philosophy among the more credible writers. I have some time for that.

The problem with getting in love with the worldbuilding is that worldbuilding is simultaneously i) a lot of work ii) not actually writing a story iii) possibly actually causing you to write a worse story due to the amount of effort you’ll take to cram all your carefully wrought worldbuilding in, which inevitably distorts your story.

(I say “Inevitably.” That’s not true. Let’s say there’s a pressure there, and it can be seductive.)

Point ii) is the main one. Worldbuilding is, I suspect, best done with a sense of direction.

I was on a panel at NYCC a couple of years yet, with Marjorie Liu. She was talking about Monstress, and how hard it was for her to get started on it. She had so much of it, but no story. Fundamentally, she realised it was that her lead wasn’t there. She didn’t have a character. She had a middle-earth but no Frodo. You can’t do anything before you have a Frodo.

I visibly had a head-banging moment on the panel, as I realised that was the problem with the project I was then working on. I had an intricate setting I was very fond of, and a story structure to explore it, but there wasn’t a Frodo. I needed a Frodo.

(This was the project I put on the back burner when I had the idea for Spangly New Project.)

Point being, always be aware of why you’re doing it. Also be aware that with all the worldbuilding in the (er) world, you’ll set fire to some of it when writing the book. Some of the best bits of writing is when you’re exploring a setting, and the more you front load that before you really know what you want the setting to DO the more you’re doing work which you will either i) bin or ii) distract you from what your story is actually about. If you’re writing Fiction, keep your Frodo in mind.

(It’s also worth noting that while I’m implicitly talking about Fantasy/Sci-fi settings, worldbuilding is in all projects.)

Research is a different beast. Research is abstractly infinite. For a modern period, there’s more resources than any individual would be ever familiar with. Worse, there’s as much takes on it as evidence. You research any singular event in (say) World War II and you’ll have all these historians takes on it, plus whatever commentators outside it and so on. Whichever Truth you go with, some people will think it’s untrue.

(It’s different for hard facts, of course, but even then you’ll find that historically speaking, many facts are less hard than you’d hope.)

There is a school of writing which basically argues you should do no research and look up facts as and when you need them. I have some sympathy with it, and any writing will involve that. Hell, even something as ludicrously over-worked as THREE involved me looking up a bunch of stuff, not least as I forgot it. Also, Professor Hodkinson going “Er… no” a lot.

It’s also worth noting that excess research has many of the perils of excess worldbuilding. The more you know about a period, the more likely you are to be tempted to include it, for no reason at all, or hang your stories off things which someone simply won’t know or care about. I fall into this one a lot, I suspect, but I do try to mitigate it.

However, the “no research, just write” philosophy does cause its own problems, as exemplified by Mitchell and Webb.

If you’ve done no research and just look for facts you have no idea of anything, you can end up with the above. If you’ve got no idea what the questions you should be asking, you’re fucked.

(It’s also worth noting that the ability to edit the truth is also necessary in any complicated story. What is a fact worth defending? If you’re writing a military or spy book, or anything with a complicated chain of command, I guarantee that many dozens more people would be involved in any given decision. Almost everyone narrows that down, as to render a story vaguely comprehensible. Look at Uber, where we basically get a handful of high ranking people on each side. Everyone does that.)

My research is normally driven towards a single goal - getting a feel for a setting and finding my story. Often I have a core suspicion of what my story will be as I start (in fact, it can be hard to angle your research without it) but there’s a freedom to change that based on what you discover. In the case of the 455 special, I suspected I’d do a story about one of the two latter day sacks of Rome, but I didn’t know which. My research was, to some degree, about “auditioning” whether the gothic or the vandal sack would express what I was trying to express better.

(There is also the negative research - as in, finding that the story idea simply can’t be made to fit the period at all.)

When you’ve got the idea of what the story *is* would be the point I would suggest starting writing. The 1920s special has been problematic, for reasons I’ll probably go into in the issue notes, as while I had it conceptually nailed down to start with, the specific execution was elusive. I read enough until that clicked into space, and then I could abstractly start writing it (using research to fill the gaps). 

Really, the deadline is the greatest motivator. Research and Worldbuilding is also a form of procrastination. “Oh, I need to write something now. I better give it a shot” is as basic as it gets.

The other thing you ask about - planning stories - is a sufficiently different topic to save for another time, I think.

anyway i, a mentally ill adhd'er, got my driver’s license today at 22 years old after 6+ years of driving being one of my biggest fears in the known universe. i was 100% convinced i was going to fail and i didn’t. so that’s pretty chill