when things just don't work

one of the reasons mental illness sucks so fucking much is because people around you can literally tell you again and again that they love you, that they think you’re cool and funny, that they support you in every way, that you’re talented or intelligent, and no matter how many times they say it you’ll always cringe and shake your head and say “no, no i’m not, really” but the SECOND someone says one bad thing about you, even just once. You believe it completely. 

anonymous asked:

Hi, 7goodangel. I am here to ask you about PaperJam as a shy, smol and innocent being (mainly thegreatrouge made him be). There has been some conflicts regarding his trait. Some said his canonical personality is a jerk, like what you wrote in his bio / info and some said that is severely wrong and being shy, (which made him shipped with Fresh), is his canonical personality. What are your thoughts about this? I mean, it is your character and people are taking control of it. Don't you disagree?

Well… I have talked to people and seen public conversations and this has happened several times to me over months. I guess I’ve gotten a little numb to it now… or maybe it’s due to school that I haven’t given it the attention that it deserves. Probably due to school. 

I just can’t update constantly like others - even though some others in school were and are able to update constantly. I can’t keep going around and holding up my bio of PJ and police people. It’s exhausting to me… it really takes up the small bit of free time I have. 

I think after I get a solid job that I’ll be able to go around better… but anyway - back to your question. 


While I love seeing interpretations and do not want people to be limited by something and have their imaginations go forth… it’s proving that a huge con comes with that mentality - which you have pointed out. A lot of people swear that PJ is the cute, innocent interpretation that really, did get PJ popular in the first place. While I did have him as a jerk from the beginning - I kinda kept that info to my RP blog - so you could say it is my fault this is all happening and I do think that. I could of done something to make it not as bad as it is now… 

It’s just like the NSFW stuff… people just assume the first thing and run with it. And it really does make me feel like I really am not needed for my own character at points. 

It’s a struggle - I don’t want to have people stop interpreting PJ within AUs… but I also don’t want people to just see him as an innocent child to ship with Fresh. 

And I’m still trying to find the best solution to it. 

But… I feel like the damage is already done. It’s too late for me to talk to all of these people going around swearing on their life that PJ is canoncally like Rouge’s interpretation/AUs. It feels like an hopeless battle to me. 

And I guess I needed someone to ask me this question so then I can fully say my thoughts on this. 

So in short, while I love creativity and don’t want to snuff it out (considering some people would probably think I’m doing that already with saying “No Sin”), I still don’t like it. It irritates me, irks me, frustrates me, and I feel like even as the person who thought of PJ in the first place, my voice isn’t enough. Communities seem like they don’t care about artists unless they reach a ‘certain goal of popularity’ or seem like they have a more professional style of art. I know I do not reach either of those titles. 

People misspell my username all the time - I actually claimed ‘7goodangle’ on tumblr for that reason.

People still say “I’m too lazy to find who made PJ” when they clearly mentioned they looked at the bio on the wiki. 

People still go around arguing others on the canon ship of OmniPJ and swearing that FreshPaper is the true canon ship, when all people are pointing out is that they need to keep the canon ship in mind when going around with information.

Even just basic personality traits… and these things are happening on sites that I do not nor want an account for. 

I still want others to have fun - to be happy; but I don’t know… I guess I’m cutting out my own happiness to get everyone else happy? I want to eventually write a version of PJ within his own universe and story… and he is more like the version I created within the UT verse. Not exact - but close. Though who knows… I might shove PJ to the side and replace his role with another character. I’m still weighing options.

Cause PJ was the first character I ever put this much time and thought into… my first character that was balanced, well rounded…

And what happens?

…well.

You said it Anon. 

They took it - changed it (initially as an AU but now people think it’s canon) - and I can’t do much about it. Due to school and not much free-time… due to how many don’t know the true creator… and just back talking anyone who is just mentioning it to people who swear by it. 

As an artist and a character designer…

It makes me not want to show designs, characters, and stories ever again online.

Considering if this is how I was treated on the first one… why even take a chance at a second one? If it has brought me so much stress, frustration, and time… why even try it again?

I said I was only going to do fanart so if anyone stole it, it didn’t really matter. 
I think I should have stuck with that thought process. 

In conclusion, there are some major things to take away here. First – that yes, I do not like how it has skewed this far to the point of arguing over a fandom version with the canon. Canon is canon and I get the different AUs – this is too far. Way too far. I am emotionally drained from this – from this whole mess that I have been defending throughout majority of PJ’s lifespan. I will state this – Paper Jam is my character. He is my original character that I created more than a year ago. And the UT AU fandom took my character and warped him to something he is not and all of his original meaning is lost. I do not like to hurt others or make other sad – but I must put my foot fully down. This miscommunication needs to stop. I am tired of repeating things over and over and I have past my breaking point time and time again. I just want people to see PJ how he really is… and I wish that people could be focusing more on the reality of him instead of the alternate that they all claim as truth.

Final words: I still like Undertale – I still like creating characters and having fun – but the Undertale AU fandom is ridiculous now. The Amino UT community is insanity in an app, and there is a lot of stuff that has made many artists and creators to their breaking point and leaving the fandom entirely. Everyone in this fandom needs to take ten steps back and look at what they are doing. Go back to the game. Play it again – watch your favorite let’s player’s videos of it again. 

And just… food for thought… please don’t jump the gun on someone else’s OC’s personality and actions. 

I do not want anyone to experience what I had.

Am I the only one that doesn’t care at all that Mon El said that he loved Kara before Sanvers have said it? Like the relationship between Kara and Mon El is messy and lacks development, so I’m not surprised that he said that he loved her so quickly. In all honesty he may not even truly love her, she’s just the first person he’s truly been attached to and not a hook up, which he was doing on Daxam. 

BUT Sanvers has been developed and I’m just waiting for that special moment that they actually say it. Not some type of “I’m saying this cause I don’t want to lose you bullshit,” but they say it cause it’s true. Cause they truly can’t live without one another and love each other, ride or die. When they do say it, it will be impactful and not easily forgotten like Mon El’s confession.

popular tumblr post: don’t date or be friends with people who [trait i have because of my personality disorder]

me: :-)

you know what’s cool about my friend who has major social anxiety? she doesn’t use it to put herself down. she doesn’t use it to call herself weak, or lesser of a person. if i’m going out and i invite her out, all she has to say is can’t, anxiety. and i get it. and i go out with other friends and i see her on her time when she can socialize and not feel like the weight of the world is crushing down on her. when i tell her i’m hanging out in the living room and she lets me know, can’t, anxiety, i’m staying in my bedroom. i get it. and i don’t push her, and i don’t pity her. i understand her. 

all i’m trying to say i guess, is that when things get hard mentally, and someone calls themselves weak, it upsets me. knowing your limits isn’t a weakness. being able to openly say “yeah, i didn’t go to that last week, because you know, anxiety.” isn’t something i’m going to pity a person for, and it certainly doesn’t mean i’m thinking less of you. and it bothers me to see people who have severe anxiety, and other things, equating it to a weakness. being able to openly talk about your anxiety and your depression and your inability to function as what you or society sees as common isn’t a fault. hell, it’s a strength to be able to say, “can’t, anxiety.” and i think it’s an even bigger strength of the person you’re saying it to, to be able to understand that, even if they don’t feel the same way. strength and empathy. that’s all i guess. 

.

So at least on my dash, nobody ever drags the xxTPs, so I'mma do it really fast bc y'all really piss me off from time to time.

Like would it kill you to NOT critique rules from time to time trying to find all the damn loopholes? Like pls can u not. LIKE SURPRISINGLY JUST BC SOMETHING DOESN’T MAKE SENSE TO YOU DOESN’T MEAN IT’S NOT SENSIBLE IN THE LONG RUN?? Like is it so hard to realize that if you take into account EVERY SINGLE tiny ass thing you guys pick out, nothing would ever get done???

Rules, laws, procedures, etc, they’re there to make things easier. And like?? Honestly fuck you, ExTPs? Stop blatantly doing the loophole thing that the rules don’t cover just because you can. Y'all are so damn full of acting like a dick while not coming up with PROPER SOLUTIONS. And you, IxTPs? Just stop. You may not outwardly defy the untold laws, but you still don’t come up with solutions like the shut in you are.

Keep to your own crap and leave laws alone.

6

Endless list of Felicity scenes (7/) | Ben & Felicity

The truth is… I can’t be with you like this. - 2.02

it’s gotten to the point again where i’m always checking in on other people and putting everyone else before me that i don’t even realize i’m falling apart and i’m too paranoid and self-conscious to say anything because i’m not about to be a burden again :)))))))) and like everyone just assumes i don’t know how bad it can get :)))) and they all assume that they know everything about me :)) so i just need a break :))))))) so basically if you’ve messaged me in the last couple weeks and i haven’t responded don’t take it personally i just honestly don’t have the energy to hold a conversation with anyone

yourisewiththemoon

said to

i-like-to-look-at-your-back

:

#100 and space? Love your art!!

sleeping is for losers

ヽ( ´O`)ゞ Added it to the shop

[click click]

Me who clearly doesn’t know shit about health and medicine when writing up all those sick fic prompts:

I’ve been thinking...

Now I’m not good with words and I’m not quite sure how to phrase this, or even what it is I’m trying to say…But thankfully most people seem to be on my blog for my kpop fanart so it doesn’t even matter 😂😂😂👌👌👌 (if only writing for college worked like this)

Sometimes I feel like I needa reblog shit that talks about “the struggles of being an artist on tumblr”…y’know, stuff where it’s like “It’s important to reblog stuff, not just like it” etc etc…and that stuff is very true.

I do value a reblog more than a like. It’s not because of exposure, but because a reblog is a chance for you to say things in the tags–and let it be known that I check every single reblog just to read the tags. All of y’all who write nice things to me are like, the greatest fuckin people in the world, I swear to god. As someone who isn’t really happy with their own work like 80% of the time, it means a lot to know that people were touched in some way by my drawings. It gives me motivation to draw even more.

But anyways, what I’m tryna say is, I reblog posts like that because as an artist they speak to me. The reason why I don’t post original art on tumblr anymore is because they barely ever got any notes. It could be exactly as good as my fanart in every way (or even better than my fanart…), but it would only get like five notes while my fanart would get like 100+.  So I stopped posting that stuff, because nobody but my friends cared, and it’s easier to send an original pic to my buddies on facebook messenger than it is to upload it on tumblr. I put on a front like I didn’t care, but deep down inside I did care and it did hurt. Why even follow an artist if you’re not gonna support a chunk of their art?

But at the same time it’s like, I don’t wanna guilt people into putting things they don’t give a fuck about onto their blog. Granted, my personal blog is a trashbin, but still, if I don’t give a fuck about something, I’m not putting it on my blog, and that goes for art too. So I guess it’s a bit dumb for me to want people to reblog stuff from me that they may not care about, when I won’t even do the same for other people.

I say all this to say, I’m sorry if any reblogs like that turn you off to my blog, and I’m not gonna reblog them on here anymore. I want this blog to stay primarily for my art, and other artsy help thingys, mmkay?? 👌👌👌


Also I just wanna say, to any artists who are having this problem where they feel like their original art is being ignored, you need to realize different social media platforms have different types of people on them. Of course original art is less likely to be noticed on one of the fuckin fandom capitols of the internet. If it bothers you that much, you need to branch out to other social media platforms. You need to find out which types of your art do best on which sites. People like my fanart best on Tumblr and Twitter, while my original stuff does best on Instagram…and everything does kinda decently on DeviantART. You’re spending all this time trying to change tumblr–something which will happen veeeerrryy slowly if at all–when you could be using that time branching out. Like, there’s nothing wrong with voicing your problems with tumblr, but know that you’ll get what you want much more quickly if you focus on branching out.


That’s all I gotta say.

4

See this morning’s Daily Bugle? Captain America #13 (1999)

anonymous asked:

Did you see that the short stories to Captive prince are out? Did you read them? Did you die laughing over The adventures of Charls, too?

I…actually…haven’t bought the Charls short story because I really had no patience for it in the storyline either? It’s the only part of the stories I consistently skip every time it comes up while groaning.

Here’s the thing. I generally have zero sense of humour. When I do have one, it’s very inconsistent. And it’s generally turned firmly off by gimmicks, even when penned by one of the best authors ever.

When I can eventually stomach it, I will purchase the Charls short story, but in the meantime I’ve read the others and I love them. Tbh, I’m a tad bitter that the third short story was a comical one, and that we didn’t ever get a short story that dealt with Damen ever saying a single word to Laurent about his child abuse background.

I will be salty about this for a long time. So, on a personal level, not only am I not likely to appreciate the humour of the Charls short story as I didn’t appreciate it in the books, I also feel like it’s taken the place of something significant. But hey, I’m sure Pacat didn’t ever mean to give readers closure on this subject as a deliberate move to invite people to imagine it for themselves, in which case it’s taken the place of nothing at all?

(Incidentally, the lack of short story to deal with Damen finally - after two and a half books - finding out about Laurent’s background with his Uncle, has made me revise my opinion of the third book (downwards, not upwards), I’m that bothered about the way that storyline was dealt with. But that’s my ‘thing’ and well…yeah. There’s always fanfiction etc. But I was sure there would be some kind of coda, and there was never was.)

But it makes me less likely to want to read a funny story, and not more likely, I apologise, anon. The other two short stories get all the thumbs up though.

so anyway i’m a terrible human being and an absolute failure and also my heart keeps palpitating and i’m too deep in my own brain, how are you?

ALSO HOW CAN I NOT POST THIS ONE OF THE SINGLE GREATEST MOMENTS OF MY LIFE LOOK HOW CUTE SHE IS ICB I GOT TO HUG HER AND THANK HER FOR BEIN HER??

INTP Problem: Just... FEELINGS

Fe Person: *Thinks INTP dislikes them*

INTP: *Doesn’t dislike them; simply prefers to keep a straight face*

INTP: *Tries to convince Fe Person that they don’t dislike them by using logic*

Fe Person: *Isn’t convinced*

INTP: *Tries to use Fe to communicate better*

INTP: *Ends up sounding fake / forced*

Fe Person: *Is beginning to think that INTP dislikes them more than they originally thought because INTP doesn’t even sound emotionally passionate about the situation*

INTP: *Is logically passionate about the situation because Fe Person should know the truth – that INTP does not, in fact, dislike them*

INTP: *Makes the situation worse by trying to make it better*

INTP:

Originally posted by torri-renee