“No don’t!” Jim cries. Or at least he tries to—it comes out less of an intelligible sentence and more of a high-pitched squeal, like a mouse or a little girl, and if he wasn’t currently scared out of his mind he would probably be embarrassed about that fact. Jim is plastered against Bones’ side, his head resting against a broad shoulder, and every sound he makes goes straight into Bones’ ear, causing the poor doctor to flinch.
Not that Bones is faring much better. He’s goddamn terrified and it’s all Jim’s fault. Let’s watch this scary movie, Bones! Yeah, real good idea. He pulls his feet closer to his body and tries to maneuver so that he can use Jim as a shield instead of the other way around. Horror films are stupid; they are very low down on the list of movies he actually enjoys, losing out even to the princess movies he occasionally gets suckered into watching with Jo. Blood and guts? Sure, okay, he’s a doctor after all. Psychological, mind-fuck murder crap? No thanks. But if it’s something Jim wants to watch, well… he’ll suck it up. For him.
The movie goes silent, except for the heavy breathing of the unfortunate sucker on screen—a sign the killer is about to strike. The following jump scare is predictable, but Bones can’t help the strangled sound that claws its way out of his throat. He buries his face in the side of Jim’s neck and Jim pulls up the pillow that was resting in his lap to block his own view of the television.
The rest of the movie progresses just like that—yelling and hiding, Bones frequently muttering I hate you into Jim’s skin. Almost three-quarters of the way through has ventriloquist dummies coming to life and both of them cowering under a blanket.
Jim crawls into Bones’ lap. “Bones,” he whispers. His eyes are squeezed tightly closed and their faces are less than an inch apart. “Can we turn it off?”
Bones nods, the movement knocking his nose against Jim’s. “Yeah. Yeah, I’ll do it,” he says. His voice is hoarse from fear. He feels silly, but at least he’s not alone.
A minute ticks by.
“You have to get off me, Jim.”
Jim shuffles off of Bones, lifting a knee over his lap like he’s dismounting a horse. The blanket is still wrapped over them both; blankets have magical, protective powers after all.
Bones exhales shakily. “Wish me luck.” He throws his side of the blanket off his head; a rush of cool air hits him full in the face and he takes a split-second to appreciate that at least his last breath won’t be stale and hot from being under a woolly blanket. He throws himself toward the coffee table where the tv remote is sitting. He presses the power button, probably with more force than necessary, and suddenly the room is bathed in complete darkness, and wow, that’s definitely worse than the movie actually playing. In reality, the table is probably less than three feet from the couch where he and Jim are sitting, but it feels like the distance of a ravine and he launches himself back at the couch, diving back under the protective cocoon of the blankets and into Jim’s arms.
“I’m alive!” Bones pants.
Jim just squeezes Bones tighter.
They stay like that for a while, Bones straddling Jim’s thighs and Jim with his face buried in the juncture of Bones’ neck and shoulder, until Bones decides to break the silence.
“I thought you said, and I quote, ‘horror movies are awesome!’”
Jim makes a sleepy, snuffly sound that Bones can’t help but find adorable. “I lied,” Jim admits. “They scare the bejeezus outta me.”
“I thought that’s what couples do, ya’know?” Jim rubs his cheek against Bones, the stubble of his growing beard irritating the skin. “They watch scary movies and hide under the blankets together.”
“Darlin’,” Bones says, pulling back slightly so he can look Jim in the face. They’re still underneath the blanket, but it’s been long enough that they’ve adjusted to the darkness and Bones can see Jim’s eyes glittering. “We don’t ever have to do somethin’ just ‘cause other folks do it. We’re not ones to fit some cookie cutter couple mold.”
“Thanks Bones.” Jim tries to give Bones a peck, but misses by a mile and gets his chin instead.
Bones huffs, forcing Jim to give a proper kiss, slow and sweet. “So no more scary movies then?”
“Oh, I dunno,” Jim says and even in the dark Bones can picture the smirk on Jim’s stupid face. Jim tries to wiggle his hips, it’s difficult with Bones’ full weight resting on him, but the message definitely gets across. “I kinda like how this turned out.”