when something smells

anonymous asked:

pls expand on your ridiculous experiences during one semester at a fake college

okay I got a few asks about this so let me see what I can remember right now. These might not all be in chronological order

- At orientation, they were talking about the reservation near campus and all these pretty sites and this kid in the back of the auditorium goes “So uhh…heard this place might be built over a Native American burial ground?”

- The speaker: “…Let’s not think about that, okay?”

- The freshman were on campus alone for like a week and a half (other than the RA’s) before the other students and I just. The parties. Were out of control. An ambulance was called basically every night.

- I walked into the bathroom the first night there to find a girl literally dying because someone slipped something in her drink and she was having a Very Bad Reaction

- Sting- you know, the singer- ‘s son lived in my residence hall. This boy almost accidentally killed me on three separate occasions (while I was just trying to do my laundry)

- I told my family about this at Thanksgiving. Everyone in the room advised me to seduce him

- I ate breakfast in the dining hall exactly once. I got scrambled eggs. I noticed no one had brought out ketchup with the condiments and politely asked about it. I received glares from at least ten different people. Apparently people there don’t believe in ketchup on eggs.

- There were these two boys in my English class known as “The Lumbard Guys”. They didn’t live in my residence hall, but they would come over almost every night, start a party, and destroy part of the basement.

- At orientation this one kid got mad and set his shoe on fire to prove a point

- Also at orientation like??? My roommate disappeared???? And I never saw her again???

- Listen like…this campus just looked like the perfect setting for a horror film, but none of the people from the area got that. They all thought I was crazy until some comic from Comedy Central did a stand up act and said “Why the hell is this campus so creepy? I feel like I’m gonna leave here with someone else wearing my face!”. I felt way too validated.

- ALL OF MY CLASSES WERE SO FAKE

- My “math” class was actually a disguised home ec. course???? All we had were word problems that were incredibly detailed recipes or instructions on how to fix things. The teacher, who I swear to GOD was actually my Mr-Rogers-Wannabe guidance counselor from high school in disguise, spent more time trying to come up with names and backstories for the models in the text book than actually trying to teach

- I had to take a class called “first year seminar” because neither of my parents went to college. It was supposed to be teaching you about how the school works and stuff but SUPRISE BITCH WE’RE JUST GONNA YELL ABOUT RACISM AND PRIVELGE FOR AN HOUR.

- Literally that’s all we did. Just the whole class bonding over all these struggles we had gone through and getting fired up. Like, it was great, but I also ended up knowing very little about campus and school stuff bc that was the class that was supposed to be teaching me lmao

- My Psych teacher was fucking hysterical for the first few classes but then he just. Vanished. I had to drop the class

- My Fine Arts teacher just. Couldn’t stick to a teaching plan. Her entire wardrobe was scarves. She was very passionate about African masks. She had a flapper haircut. She spoke quietly, but with a marvelously forced tone of voice that I’m certain was her trying to sound impressive and hide a Boston accent. She didn’t seem to understand the year was 2014. She took us into the city to go to the Art Museum and we lost her in there, never to be seen again

- I’m not even kidding

- My “writing” teacher was my absolute fav omfg. She was this long grey haired hippie lady who worked as a nurse for the Grateful Dead and was still stuck there. She may or may not have hooked up with my uncle. I was her favorite student because one day I came in wearing a “HAIR” shirt. She wanted to take the class to England for the sole purpose of going on a Beatles tour

- But like…she did not teach a writing class omfg. She taught a social justice class. All we did was have informed debates about The Issues and listen to music and occasionally watch the Breakfast Club. Every time there was a big paper due on the syllabus, she’d just sit on her desk and go “I mean, I don’t have to cover anything, right? You guys know how to write!” Like I genuinely don’t think she knew what class she was teaching

- There was a boy who sat next to me in that class. He was deaf in one ear and used that as an excuse when he got caught blatantly not paying attention. It worked every time. But I was right next to him. I saw him playing Yu-Gi-Oh on some website on his phone under the table. One time we started talking about model cars and he pre-cummed.

- There was a boy who roamed the campus in a long black trench coat and a weird hat. I never saw his body and started to suspect he might not have one, just the theory of one. He took interest in me because I was the only person in class who ever got his Doctor Who jokes. He’d come up to me at dinner and blast quiz me on various nerd culture before running off and disappearing into the shadows. Just as I was starting to grudgingly accept I was probably going to have to eventually hook up with him for the greater good, I apparently offended him by saying I like Picard more than Kirk. He didn’t stick around to listen to my reasoning. Whenever I saw him after that he would loudly start talking about how great his girlfriend was. Everyone knew he was lying. I wonder if Kirk ever sucked his theoretical dick as well as I would have.

- I gave a football player a shout out on Yik Yak. He really appreciated it, and gave me some fries laced with weed as a thanks. That was such A Night ™ , I watched the Lorax and left the dimension.

- Every time we had dances, this creepy guy named Horace would find me and use my obvious discomfort to make me dance with him. He’d hold my wrists and shove his crotch on mine while vaguely swaying to the beat. I had to escape to the bathroom every few minutes. Finally the security just banned him from the events altogether. I can still see his face clearly in my mind.

- One night, I walked into the bathroom to find a perfect, untouched pizza laying on the floor…but not in a box. Someone literally just took it out of the box and laid it down. I’m still fuming.

- One time I was in the mostly empty library when I smelled something. I walked down the rows of shelves before rounding the corner, and found the President of the college hidden there, sitting on the floor, smoking, a bottle of vodka in his hands. We held eye contact for a solid minute. He slowly shook his head at me. I said “Sir, your house is like…literally across the street.” He shook his head more vigorously. I left the library.

- One night, I heard screaming. I looked out the window to find a girl in a giraffe costume scaling my building. People were throwing water bottles at her. I was concerned. I didn’t know who to talk to for answers.

- I was in line trying to pay for dinner. One of the lunch ladies climbed on top of the ice cream machine and refused to come down. Her friend came over and they started recreating the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Very few people acknowledged it.

- Someone jacked up the soda dispenser so it was only dispensing beer. None of the staff cared enough to fix it.

- I caught my RA in the middle of a drug deal so she gave me a coupon for free ice cream

- Also side note: The soft served ice cream machine on campus was actually a frozen yogurt machine. I had no problem with that, but like, advertise correctly, you know? Nobody else seemed to understand my confusion. Nobody else seemed to understand that froyo and ice cream are two different things. What the hell.

- There were just…so many moths all over the campus. A terrifying amount. When it started getting colder I was like, finally, I won’t be attacked by moths anymore! Only for even more moths to appear. I asked a local about it. “Oh, those are the winter moths!” What the fuck are winter moths? What the fuck, Massachusetts? My friend back home grew convinced that Mothman was in the area. I was inclined to believe her. Sometimes I close my eyes and all I can see are moths everywhere, waiting for the moment to strike.

-  I’ve encountered deer many times in my life. I know how they act around people. But the deer on this campus were just weird. They’d run out at people all the time. One almost shoved me into traffic.

- My roommate gave my phone number out to literally anyone she found who mentioned they liked to read or liked Doctor Who. She was concerned I had no friends. No one ever called.

- I met a small Greek girl in my Fine Arts class. Our first day of talking, she made me climb a mountain with her so she could get to tutoring, even though I had no reason to be in that building. Her roommates kept mysteriously disappearing. She was late to everything. She’d call me randomly to get food at 1 in the morning. She kept somehow breaking phones and tvs and other electronics. When I asked her how they kept breaking, she waved it off with “Oh, I have OCD. You wouldn’t understand”. I have OCD, and I still don’t understand. One time she invited me out with her friends from high school. I waited outside her building for two hours, while the other friends waited in the parking lot for two hours, because we didn’t know how to find each other. She eventually came outside at 10:30 pm. We went to Friendly’s. She made us stop at her house so she could grab something. We pulled up a long, winding driveway and stopped in a parking lot. At the end of the parking lot were stone stairs that lead up to a mansion on a hill. She ran inside and the rest of us stayed in the car, listening to High School Musical and talking about Supernatural. When she came out 40 minutes later we decided to try and prank her. It went wrong. We almost ran over her friend’s sister with the car. They invited me to a pumpkin patch. When I started complaining about my roommate, she asked me to move in with her. I thought about the other three girls who had seemingly gone missing. I politely declined. Six months after I left the school, I received a text from her asking for notes for an exam, and radio silence after that. I can’t find her on facebook. I fear she might have gone missing too.

- One night, as I was standing outside huddled in the cold, a boy came up and offered me a cigarette to help me stay warm. I turned it down, but he stood around talking to me for a few minutes afterwards. I felt absolutely no awkwardness at all. He was a musician from Colorado. He sang a bit of one of his songs. He was dropping out of school to go to California the next week. He told me I had beautiful eyes, but his were the most alive eyes I’ve ever seen so I couldn’t believe the compliment. We talked for about ten minutes and I fell a little bit in love. He had to rush off to a club meeting, but he told me he’d rather keep talking. He gave me the sweetest smile before he left. I didn’t get his last name or number and I never saw him again.

- There was a dance on Halloween. I couldn’t think of a sufficiently slutty yet classy costume, so I just went as Osgood from Doctor Who. When I got there there was a huge crowd, but people quickly grew bored and started leaving. There ended up being six people left (myself included). We stayed because we could see the upset faces of everyone who had planned the event, but actually had one of the most fun nights of my life. We- myself, the girl from across the hall, Trench Coat Boy, his tiny friend who never spoke, and a boy and girl I didn’t know who seemed to be professional dancers- danced nonstop for almost three hours. The strobe lights and poppy music solidified an unspoken bond. I had never and to this day haven’t felt as free as I did that night. The tiny quiet boy’s smile could have lit up a city. It’s etched into my mind. We all left the dance talking about the surreal feeling in the air, as if something had shifted. None of us ever mentioned the dance again. It’s still one of my fondest memories.

- For a solid month, there was someone in a gorilla costume running around campus.

- There was a rash of sexual assaults on campus. A gang of boys kept jumping girls in the woods. The only thing the school board did was give out free rape whistles at lunch one day. I missed that day, making me one of the only students on campus without a whistle. Later that night when I ordered pizza, the delivery guy tried to start up a conversation with me about all the assaults. He blamed the girls. I took back my tip.

- Sometimes the showers just…filled up with black sludge. No one knew why.

- The girls in the room next to me were very bizarre. They always shot me odd looks and whispered to each other constantly. I couldn’t figure out if they were sleeping together or not. They never washed their hands when we were in the bathroom.

- The doors to each dorm were thick and heavy and required effort to push them open. My roommate and I made sure to lock ours every night, and would triple check it. It swung open by itself almost every night. The channels on the tv would change with the remote equidistance away from us. Sometimes I heard humming in the showers when I was the only one in there.

- My roommate…deserves a whole separate post dedicated to her, honestly.

- She would call her mother and have her do her homework for her. She blasted music constantly, and it was either country or hard rap, nothing in between. She sexiled me constantly. I once walked in on anal. She’d meet guys on Tinder, fall in love with them after a couple of days, and then bring them into the school and into our room like it was no big deal. One of them made it clear he was a budding serial killer. She was in a new drama every week. One time someone called her a dilf on Yik Yak. She was firmly convinced her cousin was blonde because her aunt dyed her hair when she was pregnant. She tried her hardest to get me laid by a football player. She was the loudest drunk I’ve ever encountered. Honestly there’s just too much about her for this omfg

- John Zaffis, the famous paranormal researcher, came to the school on my birthday. I went because I’m a loser who’s been watching shows with him since I was a kid, and I was having a bad day so I decided it could be a treat. I sat in the front row. He held an uncomfortable amount of eye contact with me the entire presentation. He was impressed with my questions. He lamented about the fact he’s always cut out of movies or replaced by priests that look like him. He apparently came to the school every year around Halloween to do a ghost tour around the campus for the students. A girl allegedly killed herself in my floor’s bathroom. He apparently always got a lot of activity around the campus. Everyone in the freshman class started wondering if the rumors about the Native American burial ground were true.

- One time in “writing” class the teacher gave us a number and then whatever song came up as that when we put our music on shuffle we had to play for the class. I ended up with “Touch Me” from Spring Awakening. Midway through the song, the teacher from another class came to complain that they could hear everything. My teacher tried to defend that all music has an important message. “Molly, dear, tell her the message in this song!” I looked around the room and at the other teacher. “It’s about sex,” I said quietly. She stormed out of the room while the class started laughing.

- There was this girl that just had the natural ability to make anything boring. I feel bad saying that, because she’s such a sweet girl, and she’s smart, and she’s gorgeous, and she’s talented, but just…every time she says anything, it’s boring. I’m still friends with her on facebook, the talent transcends to writing as well. You could be having a fun, lively conversation and she could say something completely relevant to the point and yet it would still just be boring. It’s a baffling talent, I still don’t understand how she does it.

- There was a boy who’d come into my room. He lusted over my s’mores poptarts. He kept trying to hit the high notes in Broadway songs. He didn’t understand my sense of humor at all, so we both were constantly worried we were offending each other. He cried about Selena Gomez a lot.

- The dining hall only offered horrendous food. I had pasta almost every night because it was the only thing remotely edible. If you wanted good food, you had to go to Late Night, which was between like 10:30 and 1 I think??? They set it up specifically for stoners and people leaving parties. I was frequently the only sober person there. Except for the moths.

- The chief at the pasta place found out I like theater and got like…weirdly passionate about it. He kept telling me about different theater groups in the area and wanted to know if I was in the school musical. He asked me every time I went up for food.

- There was a disproportionate amount of large black birds to trees. It wasn’t hard to figure out why we so rarely saw smaller animals

- When I told my advisor I was thinking about leaving (mostly for financial reasons but also the fake classes were preventing me from getting an education I wanted, you know?), this little old man looked around his office as if checking for people listening in, then put his hand on top of mine, leaned in close, and whispered “Oh, you sweet little girl. Run as fast as you can.”

There’s definitely more but listen. This school was weird and fake and vaguely surreal and off-kilter. I am fully afraid that one day, years from now, I’m going to be driving through the back roads and pass the place where the campus should be, only I won’t find anything there at all, and won’t be able to find any trace of it ever existing. I won’t be able to find any record of it. I won’t be able to find a record of any of the people. Every time I think about this place I just get a weird feeling, like I somehow managed to escape the Twilight Zone but left a part of me behind in the process. Be careful when applying to college, kids.

🐝🐝OWW's Bee Tips🐝🐝

Alright I love bees. And honestly I have idiots at my school who kill them. So let’s get some stuff straight.

🐝Bees are Harmless. They won’t sting you randomly. I’ve had a few crawl over my skin out of curiosity. Not a single sting. They will sting, if provoked. Even if it was an accident. (I hit one with my bag at six flags and didn’t know until I got stung.)
🐝Bees work hard for our environment. Please, stop killing them. They pollinate and help plants we need grow and flourish.
🐝If you see a bee struggling to fly or move, its most likely dehydrated and give them some sugar water and wait until they can fly on their own. They may come back for more as they have done that with a few of my drinks before.
🐝If you’re allergic to bees, DONT SWAT OR HIT THEM AWAY! That’s the worst thing you can do. Stay still. Gently push them away if you feel you won’t provoke them, and they won’t freaking sting you. I’m tired of seeing that as an excuse to kill them too. THEY ARE HARMLESS
🐝Bees get curious when they smell something sweet/sugary like perfumes and drinks. They also tend to be attracted to colors. They’re just curious. Looking for things to pollinate and stuff to get nectar. DONT SWAT THEM AWAY.
🐝Find a local BEE KEEPERS NUMBER THAT COLLECTS BEES FROM HOUSES AND PLACES if there are bees at you’re home and you’re worried. DONT CALL AN EXTERMINATOR! You’re just helping them become more extinct.
🐝Bee Keepers know what’s best. Please ask them questions if you are really curious.
🐝"Wait but Bee Keepers where those body suits to protect themselves from bee stings. Doesn’t that mean that bees will jus–“ No. They wear that suit when they’re going in to check on the hive, collect honey, feed them and everything that can be seen as provoking them. When a bees hive is in danger, they swarm. So yes. They have protective gear, but you don’t have to worry because they don’t do that UNLESS PROVOKED!
🐝BEES ARE HARMLESS UNLESS PROVOKED!
🐝STOP PROVOKING THE BEES AND MAYBE YOU WONT GET STUNG
🐝STOP KILLING BEES JUST BECAUSE YOURE SCARED OF THEM OR SIMPLY DONT LIKE THEM
🐝THEY WONT INTENTIONALLY HURT YOU LIKE OTHER STINGING INSECTS
🐝BE NICE TO THE BEES THEY DO SO MUCH FOR US AND YOURE ALL ASSHOLES BY BEING RUDE TO THEM
🐝SAVE THE BEES!!!!
~Moon Child

If you’ve got the time and the inclination, what’s to stop you showing up on the hour at any lecture hall at any university and becoming the guest lecturer? Nothing, that’s what! Professors are always late and campus police don’t know the difference. All you need to do is walk in and get talking.

“What’s this class all about?” is a great opener. While you wait for someone to raise their hand and say “noses”, or “smelling”, or “science”, draw a big rectangle on the blackboard. You can always use a rectangle.

When some kid says “Last week the professor said we’d be looking neurological processing of olfactory stimuli,” you can shake your head and smile and say “just explain it to me like I’m 10 years old.”

This time they’ll definitely say “smelling”, and you can turn that rectangle on the blackboard into a truck.

“Imagine a truck,” you could say. “It’s parked on your top lip. And when you smell something, the men load up all that smelling information into the back of the truck. Who can tell me what comes next?”

Wait for them to say “they drive the truck up your nose,” then say “Exactly! They begin the perilous journey up your nose. They’ll dodge all the boogers and thick black hairs, and finally they’ll arrive at your brain.”

Next, discredit the professor who’s walked in. “You slept with a student!” is a classic for a reason. Even if he hasn’t, he won’t stick around to argue the point!

“When the truck arrives at the brain, the men unload the truck and they show all the smells to the loading dock workers. They decide whether something is a good smell or a bad smell. Sometimes, the workers get confused. Like people who think poop smells good! We’ve all got a friend like that. Who thinks that, by a show of hands?”

If no one raises their hand, you could try saying “It’s natural… how bad can a substance produced naturally by the human body be? It’s normal to be curious. What about you,” and here you want to point at someone in the front row, “you might be interested to know that I have a very natural diet. That means a great texture and aroma.”

If there are no takers, you probably still have half an hour to get to the next lecture hall. Good luck!

I don’t want to be another one night stand... (Not a request)

Note: College AU (no powers), Smut, +18, blow job, protected sex, vaginal fingering, fluff, sadness, Bucky is a playboy at first.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader; Side Steve x Tony 

Words: 5260


There was a long thump noise followed by moans as (Y/N) typed away her report while an angered sigh passes through her lips. On the other side of the wall was her roommate James, or Bucky to his friends having sex with another unknown woman of the week. He did this a lot and it was starting ticking (Y/N) off with no understanding as to why this was happening. She was starting to regret agreeing to becoming his roommate considering they had been best friends since before grade school. (Y/N) was trying to finish her report, just needing one more paragraph and this would be down and that’s when the thumping was continuous.

(Y/N)’s eye twitched when suddenly it stopped as she sighed in relief before quickly typing the last paragraph. She let out a noise of happiness that the report was over when she got up to grab a snack from the fridge. That’s when a red haired girl, Natasha?, came out of the room smiling with her hair a mess before she looked to (Y/N). “I borrowed some of your clothes. He said you wouldn’t mind.” Natasha smiles before walking out as (Y/N) stood there with an angered expression on her face when Bucky strutted out of the bedroom in only black boxers. “You look angry? What’s wrong?” Bucky asked opening the fridge as he grabs a bottle of water.

“I am very angry. No. Scratch that. I’m pissed off.” She huffed crossing her arms when he quirked an eyebrow. “Why?” He asked. “You gave another girl some of my clothes, and I had a report due. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate with some woman moaning constantly?” She asked glaring at him. “Well Sorry that I’m good at what I do?” He offered as she covered her face letting out a frustrated groan. “You never hear what I say anymore James.” She hissed placing her hands onto her hips. “Awe come on, Natasha will give them back.” He shrugged casually. She wanted so desperately to scream ‘That’s not the point’ to him, but immediately bit her tongue to stop herself.

“Forget I said anything.” She sighed running her fingers through her hair before she walked back to her own room without another word. She wasn’t hungry anymore, too worked up over the whole thing going on with Bucky. It sucked. When Bucky asked her to move in with him she thought he meant that he wanted to be with her, finding out the hard way that night when she heard Bucky with some woman named Peggy. (Y/N) sat with her knees pulled to her chest, wanting to move out has been plaguing her mind since she moved it. Yet she had nowhere else to go, her job wasn’t stable enough to get an apartment on her own, especially not one this close to her school.

She sighed before laying down in bed trying to sleep, but she couldn’t. Her mind was racing with Bucky always being with other women all the time. They say he’s practically fucked every single girl he’s talked to… except (Y/N) and it hurt. Not that she wanted to just be a one night stand for him. She just worried maybe she wasn’t pretty enough for him. There was a blade sinking deeper and deeper into her chest and she couldn’t breathe. Her eyes fluttered shut as she yanked the cover over her face, burying her face into her pillow she let out a sob. Her heart hurt so much yet tomorrow when she’d look at Bucky she’d be that happy go lucky girl once more.

In the morning (Y/N) stood making breakfast, Bucky had another ‘friend’ over and was just finished when Bucky stepped out. “Something smells good.” He said grinning while the young female slipped out as (Y/N) froze for a moment. It was Maria, her best friend she made other than Bucky and Steve. Maria knew about (Y/N)’s love for Bucky and she went behind her back while crushing her like this. “Yeah.” (Y/N) said in a monotoned voice before pointing to the plate of pancakes and bacon. “I have to go to school early.” She said shutting off the stove when she felt his hand on her hips. “You work too hard. Maybe you need a little stress relief~” He flirted.

Without meaning to she slapped his hands away. “I don’t care whoever you decide to fuck, but I’m not going to be on that list.” She spat as his eyes widened before he held his hands up. “Hey are you okay? I was just kidding.” He said chuckling as that pain from last night grew larger. She turned away before immediately grabbing her book bag as she ran out the door. She couldn’t cry, wouldn’t cry over this. He was a free man, but to toy with her emotions like that hurt worse than him admitting he didn’t like her. At least then she could pick up the pieces of her heart without it being as much of a problem. She shook that feeling off as she walked into class.

She quickly went over to her cooking station right beside her other best friend Steve. Now Steve was a good man, well mannered, everything a girl could want in a man. Sadly he was taken, and taken by Tony Stark. Yes, he was gay. The little punk. “Hey.” She smiles softly. “Hey, you okay? You look a little off.” He said quirking an eyebrow. “Yeah, just a tough morning.” She said waving it off. “Bucky?” He asked. “Bucky.” She confirmed. That was the nice thing about having Steve as a friend, he understood what you meant just by saying a few words or nothing at all. “Being an ass?” He asked as she let out a chuckle. “As always.” She said as he chuckles too.

“How about you join Tony and me for lunch after class? It’ll help you get away from Buck for a few hours.” He suggested as she thought for a moment. “Yeah, I’d like that.” She said smiling softly as he smiles back before the teacher cleared her throat. “Let us begin today’s lesson my little chefs!” She exclaims happily as everyone looked to her. (Y/N) had shut her mind off Bucky, off everything that happened for now and focused on what she loved to do the best. Cook. Soon the class was over and she had about two hours free time until her last class for the day. She looked up to see Tony waiting at the door for Steve as she noticed his eyes lit up.

She couldn’t help but feel a little jealous at how happy Steve was, wishing for herself to be in his shoes with someone. She sighed walking off with them as she notices the eyes staring at Steve with such adoration, such passionate, such bliss. There was that stabbing pain again plaguing within her chest making it harder to breathe as she clenched her fists. She couldn’t let Steve down and say she didn’t want to go anymore, because she really wanted to stay away from Bucky. “(Y/N)?” Tony’s voice knocked her out of her thought as she blushes. “S-Sorry, what?” She asked biting her lip. “I asked you where you wanted to go out and eat for a little bit.” He chuckled.

“Ugh anywhere is fine with me.” She said. “Okay nothing too fancy. I’m almost broke here.” She chuckles. “You still have much to learn.” Tony rolled his eyes as he opened the door for them. “What do you mean?” She asked. “Did you honestly think I was going to let you pay for anything?” Tony asked batting his eyes as she rolls hers. “Yes, because you are taking me out.” She counters getting in the back behind Steve. “That doesn’t mean shit. You aren’t paying.” Tony huffs as Steve looks back nervously. “Tony, stop. If she wants to pay for it you shouldn’t argue with her.” He frowns. “Not paying.” Tony comments as Steve rolls his eyes while Tony gets into the car. “You are hopeless.” (Y/N) resorts as Tony grins. “Thank you.” He chuckles as he pulls out of the school’s parking lot before driving down the road.

(Y/N) enjoyed their company and was dropped off after school. She thanked Tony for the ride before she walked into the apartment while she set down her keys. She frowned noticing that the apartment was very quiet, like too quiet which started to worry her. “James? I’m home.” She called before hearing the shower running and without thinking she opened the door to check on him. Normally he would respond, or something but hearing nothing completely worried her when she froze at the sight she was met with. Bucky was standing there with not a thread of clothing on him as he turned to look at her in shock when she noticed the red mark on his face.

“(Y/N)?” He asked when she immediately went up cupping his face. “What happening to your face?” She asked as his eyes widened even more. “Uh.. The woman I was with liked being a little dominant is all.” He laughs softly. “Oh, Sorry.” She said before she remember that he was still naked before her face lit up as he smirked softly. “I’ll let you alone.” She said immediately running out as she shut the door before going to her room. She screamed into her pillow for a good five minutes before composing herself enough to make dinner for him. She sighed thinking about this morning how harsh she was with her words causing her to bit her lip gently.

She was making chicken stir fry when she heard feet patter into the kitchen as she looked back to see Bucky looking down at the ground. He looked like he was fighting himself when she reached out taking his hand as he jolted before looking at her. “Are you okay?” She asked softly when suddenly he pulled her into a hug as her eyes widened. “Please sleeping with me. We don’t have to do anything. Just please.” He begged against her neck as she froze for a moment. Something told her to say no, but she couldn’t–couldn’t deny Bucky anything even if she wanted to. “Alright James. I’ll sleep with you.” She whispered before almost immediately regretting those words.

“Thank you.” He whispered as she offered him a plate. “Eat. Since you think you can live off Lucky charms.” She huffs as he grins taking the plate. “You could.” He said sitting at the table as she got her own plate. “Yeah for like two weeks you’d either die of a sugar coma, or get tired of eating them.” She laughs before sitting across from him. “You underestimate me.” He said taking a bite of the food as she rolls her eyes. “I’m sure you could go at least two months.” She said as he nods. “That sounds more like it.” He chuckled. “But as long as you are here I don’t have to.” He said as she slowly swallowed some of her chicken she had been eating.

“Right.” She chuckles softly before they ate in silence for a few moments when he decided to change the topic. “You were a little later than usual. What were you up to?” He asked as she shrugged. “Just hanging out with Steve and Tony.” She said smiling. “How are they?” He asked trying to get the conversation going. “They’re okay. Tony is going to give Steve a promise ring soon.” She chuckles softly as he grins. “That’s good. Steve deserves that happiness.” He said as something flashed in his eyes that almost looked like pain. “Yeah, Steve is definitely one in a million.” She laughs it off before she takes their empty plates over to the sink to wash them.

Afterwards (Y/N) got a shower, brushed her teeth and put on her regular night clothes consisting of a big t-shirt and a pair of shorts. She awkwardly stood at Bucky’s door, knowing she’s entered this room countless times but for once it was a different reason. She wanted so badly to return to her room, questioning why she said yes to him when he asked to sleep with him. In the end it was only going to hurt her even more in the end when Bucky looked over to her from his bed. “I won’t bite you unless you ask me to.” He grins as she rolls her eyes before stepping into the room. It felt warm in there, it felt right. She shook off that feeling before she finally was at the edge of the bed as she looked to him.

“Which side?” She asked as he patted the pillow by the wall as she crawled onto the bed before laying down. She faced the wall feeling her entire body heat up at the thought of being in his bed, it smelled like him too. She forced back a squeak when she felt the bed shift as his body body was almost pressed against her own. She could feel her own pulse racing in her chest as she clenched the sheet beneath her, trying to calm down her labored breathing. Her lower lip was worrying in between her teeth when she felt him snake his arm around her waist as he pulled her flushed against his body finally.

She was trying to ignore the thing poking against her thigh as she snapped her eyes shut to think of anything else but with his warm breath on her neck she couldn’t focus. “J-James?” She asked softly but he didn’t reply at first. “Yes?” He asked quietly as she felt his hand run up her hip towards her side. “W-What are you doing?” She asked trying not to have a tremble in her voice. “Just for tonight.” He pleaded as her eyes widened before she immediately shot off the bed when he looked up to her. “Why?” She asked unable to hold back the tears as the trailed down her face when she clenched her fists angrily, wanting to swing and deck him a good one.

“Why what?” Bucky asked afraid he had finally crossed the line as he looks at her. The only light in the room was his small lamp that made her look even more torn apart that she already felt. “Do you like toying with people’s emotions? Do you want to fuck me that badly? Because I’m the only girl you know that you haven’t fucked?” She demanded as Bucky’s eyes softened as he sat up on the bed. “What? No! No (Y/N). I don’t want that.” He said shaking his head. “Then why ask just for tonight?” She sobbed covering her mouth as he stood up from the bed when she backed away from him. “Because, I… I didn’t think you wanted me after everything.” He said softly.

“Are you frickin’ kidding me?” She asked angrily. “I’ve been trying to drop hints! Why do you think I moved in with you so quickly! I thought you wanted me, but you started dating every other girl than me! I thought I wasn’t good enough.” She covered her face when he pulled her hands away. “No, you’ve got it all wrong. You were too good for me. You are perfect (Y/N)… I didn’t deserve that. I still don’t.” He sighed when he let out a small chuckle. “I actually got hit by the woman I was with… because I said your name instead of hers.” He said as (Y/N) looked to him before pulling him into a kiss when he cupped the back of her head immediately kissing back.

“Do you love me?” She asked. “Of course I do.” He whispered when her hand snaked into his hair as she tugs on it. “Say it.” She demands. “I love you.” He gasped softly. “Who do you love? Say my name.” She growled. “I love you (Y/N).” He grunted as she pulled him into another kiss. “That’s right, and that you’ve said it. You can’t play around anymore.” She said when he smiles sliding his hands onto her waist. “Why would I play around when I have what I want right in front of me?” He asked before he pulled her legs up to wrap around his hips as her nails dug into his shoulder while she held onto him. “How about we continue where we left off?” He asked grinning.

He led her over to his bed as he laid her down when he noticed her slightly nervous vibes causing him to frown. “(Y/N), if you aren’t comfortable doing anything right now we can wait. I’ve waited this long what’s a little longer.” He shrugged as pain etched onto her facial features. “But that’s what I’m scared of. What if I make you wait too long and you don’t love me anymore?” She asked as his eyes softened “Whoa whoa, stop right there. Okay, I know I haven’t been doing the best at the moment, but I’m not lying when I said I love you. You are the first and only girl I’ve been in love with.” He said cupping her face gently when she looked at him.

“I want to do this with you James… I’m nervous because you’re someone I’ve loved for so long… I so afraid I’ll just disappoint you, or something–” She was cut off by his lips pressing against her own. “Let’s stop thinking okay? No more bad thought. Tonight is about you and me.” He whispered as she nods softly to him. “Alright good. If there is anything you don’t want to do please stop me.” He said as his hand slowly slid up her leg towards her shirt when he looked into her eyes silently asking for permission. She nods smiling with a look that tells him that she trusts him with this as he removed the material flicked it away to not be seen until at least morning.

“You know you have to be quiet. Wouldn’t want the neighbor’s to hear.” He winks as she rolls her eyes. “Like any of the girls you brought in here were ever quiet.” She said before her breath caught in her throat when his warm hands slid up to cup her breasts as he smirks. “Well that’s different. I’m the only one who gets to hear your beautiful noises from now on.” He counters as her face flushes. “Jealous much?” She asked giggling before gasping as his tongue slowly licks up the column of her throat causing a tingle sensation to arise. Her fingers carded through his hair before she tugged at the brown locks gently as he let out a growl vibrating against her skin making her shudder.

“Can you blame me?” He asked quirking an eyebrow as he sat up in between her legs. “You are something truly magnificent.” He grins as she forces herself not to cover her face, because the one she loved was over her. Everything she ever dreamed of happening was right in front of her and it was overwhelming to say the least. If this was a dream she never wants to wake up. She pulled him down into a kiss when she flips them around as his eyes widened. She doesn’t say anything as she kisses down his neck downwards while Bucky watches her when his lower lip was caught between his teeth. It wasn’t that (Y/N) was experienced, but it felt like she forgot everything now being here with Bucky. How could he have that effect on her?

Her hands were trembling, but she pulled off his boxers immediately as she drops them off the bed when she looks at him. Her eyes widened for a moment seeing Bucky entire face a dark shade that covered to the tips of his ears. “James?” She asked softly. “God I didn’t know it’d be this embarrassing in front of you.” He mumbled when she started to laugh softly. He looks to her when she sits up before leaning forward as she kisses him gently. “I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels this way.” She grins as he grins back when they both start to laugh. She returns back to the task at hand when she reaches down as her fingers wrap around his hardening cock.

He immediately jerks up letting out a strained grunt as she looks at him before leaning down when she presses a kiss to the tip of his flushed cock. Bucky ran his fingers through her hair as he let out a light pant feeling this coil start to form in his stomach. She took him into her mouth as she wraps her fingers around the base as she starts to suck while looking up at him. She bobs her head taking in as much of him as she can considering he was a little thicker than average. “Jesus Doll.” He whispered causing her to moan around his girth. He told her before that he was only going to call that to the woman he was in love with. Her heart swelled in happiness as she swallowed down more of him trying her hardest to take him to the root.

She pulled away panting harshly as her jaw started to ache while a string of saliva connected them before she immediately set back a faster pace. She snapped her eyes shut swallowing down quickly before her gag reflex would kick in as Bucky threw his head back. Letting out a ragged moan as his fingers dug into the base of her scalp causing her to moan at the pained pleasure. “S-Shit.” He stuttered feeling like she was trying to suck his brain out through his dick. He pulled her away as he tried to catch his breath when she looked at him thinking she had done something wrong. “Remind me to let you continue that another time.” He replied as her face grew hot, but she was still smiling. He pulled her into a kiss tasting the precome that assaulted her tongue as he groaned.

He pulled her to where her head laid at the foot of the bed before he turned opening his night stand to retrieve the bottle of lube and a condom. He dropped the condom onto the bed before he slowly removed her shorts noticing she had nothing on under them. He looked at her as she flips him off before he starts to laugh leaning down to kiss her. “Hey easier for me.” He mumbled before he popped open the cap. He drizzled some into his hand as he rubbed it together to make it warm before he trailed his other hand down towards her soaked folds. “You’re so wet.” He smirks running his index finger down her slit causing her to jolt upwards when he just grazed her clit. “F-Fuckin’ tease.” She whimpered out as her fingers dig into the sheets beneath her.

“Only for you.” He chuckles before she gasped softly feeling his index finger that was covered in lube gently circle around her opening. “P-Please.” She whispered, feeling like a fool because she hated begging but right now she wanted nothing more than for him to be inside her. “So impatient.” He comments slipping the tip inside as she pants. “I’ve been patient long enough you ass.” She snipped back as he smirks. “Feisty.” He resorts before slowly pushing his finger all the way inside as he starts to massage her velvety walls making her softly moan. Bucky felt something prickly his skin at the sound that escaped her parted lips as he started to move the finger faster.

“J-James, Another.” She said as she tilted her head back to expose her throat when he leaned down sucking a bruise onto her skin, marking her, claiming her as his and his alone. He slides in another finger as he slowly scissors them apart as her hips buck up to gain more friction. He pins her with his free hand as he curls his fingers when she gasps before moaning loudly. “Found it.” He proclaimed as if he struck gold when he curled his fingers up again before massage it with just enough pressure to make her cry out. Her hands immediately came up and dug for purchase in his shoulders as her entire body started to tremble.

She gasps as he adds a third finger when he starts to move faster causing her to moan before she tries to cover her mouth. He immediately moves his hands from her hips as he pins both of her hands in his own with a small growl. “I want to hear them.” He whispered as his lips ghosted over her own causing her to shiver. “I need you.” She said. “Right now, inside me.” She panted as he groaned before slowly removing his fingers making her whine from the loss of contact. He sat up as he grabbed the forgotten condom when she took it from him before she opened it. She slowly sat up with him as she rolled it down onto him causing to him at the feeling of her hand on him again.

He covers himself with lube thoroughly because no matter how desperately he wants her, he could never hurt her. He laid her back down before grabbing a pillow to place under her hips to make her comfortable when he wiped his hand on the sheets. He slowly intertwined her hand with his left as he position himself with his right when he looked up at her. “You ready?” He asked as she smiles before squeezing his hand. “I’m ready.” She said as he slowly started to push in when her nails dug into the skin of his hand. He was a lot bigger than she ever had, feeling like she was splitting open, but in a good way. “You okay?” He asked panting slightly as his hips were flushed against her own.

“Yeah, just give me a second.” She said softly as he nods. He gritted his teeth, because he never knew that sex could be this intense and he hasn’t even moved yet. “You can move.” She said when he wrapped her arms around his neck. “You better hold on tight.” He said grinning as she rolled her eyes when she wrapped her legs around his waist. “Show me what you got Barnes.” She smirked as he chuckled slowly pulling out causing them both to shudder before he thrusted back into hard. She moaned as he started a slow but hard pace causing the bed to start creaking while she held onto him, trying to bury her face into his neck to quiet her moans.

Bucky panted into her ear as he held her hips while he thrusted faster. Her moans were vibrating against his heated skin causing him to shudder at the feeling. He kissed her passionately as he gasped feeling her nails trail down his back creating red streaks across his skin. Her body was on fire, feeling like she was going to burst as tears of pleasure form in her waterlines. “J-James!” She gasps before moaning loudly as he starts to kiss down to her breasts when he licks her nipple. He kissed back up to her neck creating purple markings in his wake to make sure others knew that she belong to someone. “I-I’m so fucking close.” She moans.

Suddenly his fingers were digging into her hair as her jerks her head back making her moan out. “Who do you belong to?” He demanded in a hoarse voice. “Y-You!” She cried. “Beg me to let you come.” He growled tugging on her hair as she gasped. “Please James! I need to come!” She gritted out feeling that burning sensation in her stomach building up. She knew she was close, she could practically taste it. She just needed that little push over the edge which she got the moment his started to rub fast tight circles around her clit. Her eyes snapped shut only seeing white as her orgasm flooded through her body causing her body to jerk upwards.

Watching her fall apart under him was something he only dreamed of and having her in front of him now with us a blissed out expression was even more breathtaking. He groaned feeling her muscles tighten around him as he thrusted a few more times before he gasped releasing into the condom. He slowly fell against her panting harshly as sweat dripped down his face before he slowly pulled out when he pulled the condom off. He sat up before he threw it away as he turned back to her, watching the rising and falling of her chest. “I’ll be back.” He said getting up before he walked into the bathroom as she laid there for a moment just basking in the aftermath.

He returned as he wiped the sweat off of her body before he put back on her short and one of his shirt considering he had accidently ripped her when he took it off her body. He pulled on his boxers before holding her in his arms with his legs wrapped loosely around his body and arms around his neck as he supported her with a hand under her ass. He changed the sheets before laying her down onto his bed as he laid down beside her, pulling her against him. He sighed softly feeling better than he had in a very long time as he kissed her forehead before pulling the covers over both of them when they both slowly fell asleep for the night.

The morning sun was pouring into the room of the sleeping couple when there was the sound of laughter in the room. (Y/N)’s eyes fluttered open as she looked at Bucky who was still fast asleep causing her to frown. She looked up to the open bedroom door to see Steve and Tony standing there looking at them. “Steve! Tony!” She exclaimed as Bucky immediately sat up, ready to fight whoever. “What are you two doing here?” Bucky asked scrubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Well we came to pick up (Y/N) to see if she wanted to hang out with us, and she wasn’t in her room. We checked everywhere before arrive here.” Tony explained grinning.

“And the surprise we got was the most interesting.” Steve chuckles as (Y/N) blushes. “Congrats you two.” Tony said dragging Steve out of the room as Bucky glances to her. “I’m going to just kill both of them.” She chuckles running a hand down her face to wake herself up as he chuckles. “You won’t (L/N) you’re all talk.” He said as flips him off before standing up when he pulled her back down onto his lap. She gasps looking to him as he lays his face in between her shoulder blades while his arms slowly wrap around her waist holding her there. “So.. (Y/N)?” He asked finally looking at her with a chuckle. “How about I make you some breakfast today?” He offers as she smiles feeling an ache settle in her hips, but it was a good kind of ache. “Sounds good to me.” She chuckles cupping his face before kissing him passionately.

Bucky Tag: @jediavenger9 @buckyappreciationsociety @this-is-reighlen @aravensdaisies 

Permanent Tag: @kanupps06 @lehumbletrashcan @hortonhearsahoeblr @madamrubrum @tillielynn16 @ididntasktogetmadedidi @eliza-hamilton-helpless @archy3001 @inselaire @breezy1415 @tremendouslyelegantstrawberry@donttalktomewhenimreading @txcountrybelle @i-am-a-dragon @abbywro-blog @shayna-winchester @thomashiddlestonloveloki

I still need a moment or 15 because Killian came into the kitchen all unbuttoned and ran his nose along Emma’s neck and was all rumble when he said “Something smells delicious.” And then said “I wasn’t talking about the pancakes.” And Emma leaned back into him and there was making out and it’s honestly all I’m going to think about for the rest of time.

florabell  asked:

Omg I would love to read your take on the "I can hear you having mental breakdowns" AU because I can absolutely imagine Clarke being strung out with med school stress and Bell being a Mum and fretting over her

A|N: this got…. really, really long, so I’m just gonna apologize in advance and put it down as me being trash for neighbours!bellarke. Hope you like it!

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It only occurs to him that he has a new neighbour when he wakes to the sound of a distinctly feminine voice cursing out someone.

And it’s not like Murphy was ever quiet or a remotely considerate neighbour or anything, but Bellamy’s pretty sure that he’s never woken him up at six in the morning with his yelling. Huffing, he shrugs on a shirt, shuffles over to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. He has to be up in an hour for work anyway, so there’s no point in trying to go back to sleep.

He does, however, start feeling a little concerned when the muffled swearing grows progressively louder instead of abating. Maybe his new neighbour is actually hurt or something, and the increasingly profane swear words are her way of expressing her distress. It’s plausible, right? The nice, neighbourly thing to do would be to check up on her. Or at the very least, maybe pound on the wall and tell her, in no certain terms, to shut the fuck up.

As tempting as the latter option is, he finds himself edging out of the door anyway, crossing the hallway to knock at her door cautiously.

The door jerks open at the second knock, and he he has to hide his surprise at the figure standing by the doorway. She’s a lot tinier than he expected her to be, dressed in stained scrubs with her hair piled up into a messy bun, stray strands drifting over her collarbone distractingly.

She arches a brow over at him, the tilt of her chin challenging. “Yes?”

“Uh, hi. I live over at 5C? Just next to you?” He gestures over at his ajar apartment door, resisting the urge to make a snide remark about how thin the walls are in the complex. “And you just— I don’t know what’s happening, but you’ve been yelling for the past hour or so? I just wanted to make sure you’re not being murdered, like, five feet away from me.”

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You’re mine, Omega

(Chapter One) Jensen x Reader

Characters: Jensen, Jared, Reader, mentions of danneel

Warnings: none, just some angst

Word Count: 2093

A/n: so excited for this series! Hope you guys like it! Tags will be under the chapter

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“Em! Hurry up, it’s about to start!” You sat on your couch with a bowl of popcorn laying on your lap. It was the season finale and you were extremely excited. As you were about to call for your roommate again , she appeared and jumped on the couch beside you. Smiling widely, you directed your attention back to the screen as the first lyrics started to play. 

 Carry on my wayward son, There’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest, Don’t you cry no more.

 The moment you saw those green, emerald eyes, your heart swelled and you couldn’t help the soft blush that crept onto your cheeks. From the moment you laid eyes on Jensen, you felt a deep connection and you never really knew why. Then again, you were a 23 year old omega with no alpha, any man attracted you at this point, even though, he wasn’t just any man. He was like a god with that chiseled jaw and that gorgeous smile of his, but it was his eyes that always drew you in. They were beautiful and mysterious. They were fierce and soft. They always allured you. His eyes gave you so much comfort and peace and they also made you more horny than you physically can handle. You always had that one fantasy of him being your alpha. You tried not to think of it often since it always sent you into a big horny mess that would take you almost an entire week to just calm down. But thinking of him being your alpha, it made you go crazy.

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Day Four: Insomnia/Nightmares

Day four of @vldangstweek. It got sappy at the end lol


He never could sleep, not anymore.

He tried, he really did. Drank warm Yellmore milk, watched old movies, read older books, tried counting smeckledorfs jumping over the juniberry bushes. But none of it worked; if anything, he was left more awake each time.

The closest he got to rest anymore were short cat naps, in various places about the castle, sprawled over the couch snoring in the middle of the afternoon for a dobash or two, or curled up in the library. One time Hunk found him face down on the kitchen table snoring into a puddle of drool.

But Coran hadn’t gotten a full night of sleep since he and Allura had been woken from their cryostasis sleep.

Maybe it was because he had spent 10,000 years asleep. Coran figured that was enough to keep anyone going for at least a week. Maybe it was the need to fix the ship, keep it from falling apart, because it was “hella old,” as Lance had put it.

Or maybe it was the nightmares he had when he slept for longer than half an hour, the way he saw the faces of his husband and children screaming as their planet died, the way he had to watch fire rain down on his village time and time again, the teary eyed face of King Alfor, shoving him into a pod alongside Allura so that he could guide her when she woke. The way he could no longer smell juniberries, but instead smelled burning flesh and heard the sound of a kingdom crumbling at the feet of a maniac.

He wasn’t the only one who couldn’t sleep, he knew that. He found Pidge awake more often than not, weary over her laptop and bags under her eyes carrying more baggage than someone her age should. He would sit next to her when he ran across her, help her with what she was working on until she dozed off, and then would cover her in a blanket and go back to his rounds.

Keith liked to hit the training deck when he couldn’t sleep, taking down bot after bot with such fury that it kind of scared Coran. He spotted him, most of the time not even telling the boy he was there, just watching from the observation deck, making sure he didn’t hurt himself. Keith was good about leaving when he was exhausted, though, and Coran rarely had to intervene.

Hunk found cooking soothing when he couldn’t sleep, and he was fairly open to discussing his nightmares with Coran while he bustled around the kitchen, making better food than Coran could ever hope to. Hunk dreamed about the Galra attacking Earth, attacking his mothers, or coming back to Earth to find that everyone he loved had died. One time, Coran found him sobbing into a bowl of goo, and he sat there with the yellow paladin, hugging him firmly until he calmed down into a mess of sniffles and eventual soft snores.

Coran rarely ran into Shiro or Allura, though he knew from their weary eyes that they never got much sleep either. He had a suspicious feeling that they had started to keep each other company when they weren’t able to sleep.

Lance almost always found his way to the observation room, pulling up the hologram of Earth and staring out at the stars as they drifted lazily through space. Sometimes he would join Hunk in the kitchen, or supply Pidge with a juice box, or, even more rare, Keith with a sparring partner, but most often he was watching the stars. He never spoke about his nightmares, but Coran saw the tear tracks down his face more than once.

He never pushed.

Coran had grown to learn that humans would close up even more if pushed to share their emotions when they didn’t want to, so he gave them space. Ask once, receive a no, ask, “Are you sure?” and then don’t continue. Just be there.

He’d had all of the paladins ask him at least once if he was okay, if he slept, because they always ran into him in the wee hours of the morning when sleep should have hit all. He always said he was fine, joked about having slept for 10,000 years. He knew it didn’t work on any of them; they were all too smart, too empathetic.

If he was honest, he was glad they were perceptive like that. Those days when he would smell something that Hunk had accidentally burned, and he would flashback on his burning family, his dying friends, would freeze and be caught in his own emotions. The days when Lance would flirt, however subtly, with an alien, or whenever they went back to the Balmera and he saw Hunk with Shay, and he would picture his husband’s cobalt eyes in his mind, filled with terror and acceptance.

On those days, they noticed. They noticed when he froze, when he slumped, when he seemed to break, and they all paused whatever it was they were doing to bounce up to him, to clap him on the back, and offer to go do something.

They started finding him at night when they couldn’t sleep, rather than him wandering in on them. Keith, asking for pointers on footwork, Lance joining in to ask questions about hand to hand combat. Hunk, seeing if he would help him translate a recipe that he had found in an old Altean cookbook. Pidge, wondering if he could help her with some upgrades to the lions.

They found him, and as a group, or a pair, or a trio, or however many were awake, they would cluster together, be insomniacs together.

Slowly, Coran found himself able to sleep longer. His husband burning turned to his husband smiling, his children crying to his children getting swept up in his arms, giggles abound. Images of the paladins, playing with his kids, laughing, joking, Lance giving piggyback rides and Keith smiling at bad jokes that Hunk was telling, Pidge teaching the eldest one things that could probably get someone arrested.

The nightmares started drifting away, coming fewer and farther between, and Coran found that he could at least get through the day again, even when he couldn’t sleep through the night.

EBSL 101 returns!

The past few weeks we have seen an increase Evelyne’s handsplaining and some fans have asked for an update on the Evelyne Brochu Sign Language (EBSL) course. Our first class covered the basics and if you need a refresher, click here. If you’re ready for lesson #2, read on Ebro pups!

EBSL signs for “tornado” and “euphoria”

Two signs here. EBSL’s “tornado” is to convey that feeling that you’re not in Kansas anymore, being delirious in the presence of Evelyne. Note that a puppy named Toto may or may not be involved. Soon after such encounter, you may also experience “euphoria” which noted as the tingling within the fingers.

EBSL sign for “what?” (winter version)

Canadian winters are known for the cold harsh temperatures and conversing in EBSL during September to April runs the risk of frostbitten finger tips. To practice safe EBSL, it is acceptable to warm your hands under your knees between signs. As for “what”… what? It’s “what”. That’s what. Moving on…

EBSL sign for “Mind Blowing”

Mostly self-explanatory sign. You see Evelyne = your mind is blown. Sign as appropriate and we’ll all understand (probably do the same sign back in agreement).

EBSL sign for “I’m going to give you a moment to rephrase that before I serve you some truth”

Even being Evelyne, one is not immune to the dreaded mansplaining or idiotic statements like “Delphine is evil”. To handle such comments, use this EBSL sign to take a moment, wet your lips, and then unleash unapologetic whoopass corrective statements to set everyone in their rightful place.

EBSL sign for “this smell goooood”

Evelyne loves good cuisine (particularly Thai) and good food means good smells. So when smelling something awesome (food or maybe Evelyne’s perfume) inhale deeply and sign “mmmm good”. Please refrain from attempting to taste Evelyne. That’s just rude.

EBSL sign for “I just, I just, I just CAN’T!!”

Often EBSL seems overwhelming and you are gobsmacked at Evelyne’s beauty, cuteness, sexiness, hair, puppy, goddess like qualities that it’s just “too much”. Never fear, this EBSL sign is there to let you convey all those feelings. You can end your expression by pressing your hands to your face which mutes EBSL to allow you a moment to steady your heart.

EBSL signs for “Can I have a hug?” and “whole world”

Hugs are the universal language for “you’re my buddy” in Evelyne’s world. Hugging spreads the love to the “whole world” (as emphasized here by the 2nd EBSL sign). As part of saying farewell, be sure to sign “can I have a hug?” and watch the immediate response:

That’s all for now buddies! Be sure to practice your EBSL daily!

Class dismissed.

My Basty Bear

A/N: Hey guys! In celebration of my blog reaching to over 100 followers (author’s mind is blown), I decided to write out this one shot! I wanted to post another one I made of Sebastian Stan, but since this is a bit special, I made a different one. I hope you guys enjoy it! (I apologize for any grammar mistakes in my story) 

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader
Warnings: Language, angst, fluff
Word count: 6,300
Summary: Reader has a habit of coming home late because of her love for painting. Unfortunately, that also starts to raise Sebastian’s suspicions of her habits. 

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The music blasts through my earphones as I move the messy sponge along the canvas in rough dabs. I dip the edge of the sponge into the black paint before blending the colours into the canvas. I hum to the music, bopping my head back and forth. I was lost in this canvas. Nothing else matters right now.

I stare at the piece for a while before deciding to fix another area that I don’t think looks convincing enough. My favourite song comes along and I can’t resist it. I set the palette and sponge down to dance in place. I move my body around to the beat as I sing along out loud.

This is the norm for me. Singing, dancing and painting all at the same time. I was alone in my studio after all. I’m doing a painting for Sebastian for our anniversary gift. I want it to be perfect.

I do a quick spin to the music. I catch a glimpse of the large clock on the wall. My eyes widen and I stop immediately. I stare at the clock carefully. 8:23. I look through the window and sure enough, it was dark outside. I let out a gasp before quickly clean myself up. I wash out the brushes, palettes and sponge and cover up the canvas.

I store it into the storage room before locking it up tight. I lock up my studio room and run down the hallway. I’m so late. Sebastian would be home any minute and I haven’t made dinner. Argh, this is why I shouldn’t paint without someone there with me to remind me of the time. I always just lose myself in paintings for hours on end.

When I arrived at our apartment, it was brightly lit. I smell something delicious cooking in the kitchen. Great… he’s home. My heart aches. I feel a little terrible for doing this, possibly, the hundredth time to him.

Keep reading

Valentines Day (another translation from the Naruhodo fan book)

I plucked another character dialogue from the book at random. I struggled a little with whether to use the Japanese or localized names this time, but in the end I decided to go with the localized ones since I figure that’s what my audience is probably more familiar with. Enjoy!

Larry: I finished cleaning the toilet, Maya!

Maya: Really? Thanks, Larry!

L: What’s next? Just say the word; I’d do anything for you, Maya… especially today.

M: Well, let’s see… I was thinking I’d like to completely change this room’s layout around. Do you mind?

L: Huh?

M: Could you start by moving out all the furniture?

L: …Your lack of inhibition is actually one of the things I kinda like about you.

Phoenix: Um, what’s going on here today of all days, Larry?

L: Man, you sure are dumb. Don’t tell me you don’t know what day it is!

P: Oh… You mean Valentines Day?

L: What the hell?! You makin’ fun of my sweet Valentine?

P: I’m not a fan… ever since I received chocolate from Edgeworth that time.

M: WHAAAAAAAT?! M-M-M-M-Mr. Edgeworth gave you ch-ch-ch-chocolate?! (T/N: In Japan, Valentines Day is specifically a day for women to give men chocolate. The men give on White Day, exactly a month later.)

L: OH GODDDDD! I-I’m so sorry, Nick! I had no idea you’d had to suffer through something like that!

P: N-no no no, it wasn’t like that!

M: Come on then, tell us all about it!

P: …When I was in elementary school, there was a girl named Lucy in our class that I had a crush on.

L: Whoa! You had a crush on Lucy?!

P: When I got to school in the morning on Valentines Day, there was a box of chocolate on my desk. It was from her.

M: Oho! But that’s good, right?!

P: I was so happy… but then…

M: “…But then”?

P: I had a closer look at the pink paper it was wrapped in. “To Miles” was written on it.

M: “Miles”… you mean…?

P: Our desks were next to each other, see. Mine and Miles Edgeworth’s.

L: Ah, I see. Lucy could be a little careless sometimes. I know how it is.

P: Well, for me, it wasn’t the sort of thing I could just label as simple carelessness and be done with.

M: I see… so then what happened?

P: My only choice was to go give the chocolate back to Edgeworth.

L: You sweat the small stuff too much. If it’d been me, I wouldn’t have cared at all.

P: I don’t know how you can just expect me to not care.

M: So? So? What did Mr. Edgeworth do then?

P: He said I could keep the chocolate. He said something like, “You like Lucy, don’t you? You can have it.”

M: Jeez, I can’t believe Mr. Edgeworth would treat a girl’s feelings like that. That’s kinda mean…

P: He’d probably worked out that there wasn’t any special meaning behind that chocolate.

M: How do you know?

P: He said that when he got to school that morning, he saw chocolates with the exact same wrapping paper on 2 other desks. 

M: ….So Lucy gave the same chocolate to 2 other boys, huh?

L: Oh, by the way, one of those desks was mine.

M: Huh?

L: When I got to school that morning, there was a package wrapped in pink paper sitting on my desk.

P: Wh- WHAT?! Y-YOU GOT CHOCOLATE FROM HER TOO?!

L: Anyway, like I said earlier, I don’t sweat the small stuff.

M: ….What do you mean?

L: Well, when I looked closer at the wrapping, I saw “To Phoenix” written on it.

P: ………..Ex/cuse/ me?

L: But c’mon. It was on my desk, which makes it mine, right?

M: Um, Larry, your last name is, uh…

L: It’s Butz. Larry Butz.

M: So then maybe that chocolate… was meant for Nick…?

P: So Lucy… just got… the wrong desk? Again, I mean.

L: I told you right? That girl was careless.

P: For me, it wasn’t the sort of thing I could just label as simple carelessness and be done with!

L: H-hold on a sec, Nick! Why’re you looking at me like that?

P: Lucy had given me chocolate…

L: But like Edgey told you, that chocolate had no special meaning.

P: Oh…

L: Besides, you ate the chocolate from Lucy that Edgey let you have, right?

P: W… well, yeah, but…

L: So in the end, it doesn’t change anything.

P: …Doesn’t it…?

M: Hmmm… there are a lot of mysteries remaining in this story, huh…

P: This is why I can’t stand Valentine’s Day.

Award show

can you please do a imagine where the reader is a famous actress and they meet at an award show x?

Originally posted by 16meets18

Red carpets, even though you have had done many before they still make you feel a bit weird. A bit of claustrophobic even. People may think it’s all glamour but the only thing you see is a bunch of flashes going on and voices shouting at you.

So, to say that you were happy that that part of the evening is over was an understatement. You were leaded inside and into the arena where the teen choice awards were going to be held any minute now. You were nominated for choice best actress and choice style icon.

“This will be your seat miss.” The guy who had been leading you through the arena told you.

“Thank you” you said as you sat down next to your co-star who was nominated for choice best actor.

“Glad the red carpet is over” You said to him. “Yeah, me too. God, I hate that part of award shows” he said with a smile.

You chatted for a while until you saw that the seat next to you isn’t empty anymore. You turned around and see that none other than Harry Styles is seated next to you.

He turns around also and smiles at you. “Hi, I am Harry, nice to meet you.” He said.

You smiled at the fact that he introduced himself even though the whole world knows who he is. You shook his hand and said. “Pleasure to meet you. I am (Y/N)”

“So, Nominated for some awards?” He asks. “Yeah, choice actress and style icon. You?”

“Well there is choice male artists, choice song and style icon. I also think there is this fandom award that I am nominated for.” He said.

“Ow look at that nominated for the same award.” You said with a grin. “Yeah, look at me making friends while you are actually competition.” He said with a smile.

“For me it’s all tactic you know. Looking what the competition is like.” You said with a wink. He playfully gasped, “You are taking advantage of my kindness, I never saw you as that type of girl.”

“Well never judge a book by its cover they say.” You said and stared laughing. He did the same.

Just then the lights went out and the show started. You didn’t really talk during the show. Just watched and clapped when necessary.

During the first break, you were talking to your co-star when suddenly you smelled something. You frowned when you recognized the smell. You looked next to you and laughed a little.

“Are you seriously eating an orange?” You asked Harry still some humor in your voice.

“Hey, it’s a healthy snack and I wasn’t really up for popcorn.” He said with a poud trying to defensive himself.

“Hey.” You said with your hands up. “I’m not judging. You eat what you want to eat.”

“You want a piece?” He asked while holding up a piece of his orange.

You smiled and said. “Hell, why not?” And took it and putted it into your mouth.

You talked for a bit longer until the intro music of the show starts again. Now you weren’t quiet during the show, you guys actually started talking about a lot of things. Both sharing fun anecdotes from the sets you were both on. He was just telling about the time he got stuck with his foot while swimming when all of a sudden you heard that the awards for best actress was being announced.

“Oh god. We really have to focus more on this show before we know it they say one of our names and don’t even realize it.” You said.

“Imagine that happening. Being announced the winner and not even knowing. The camera pointing at you and you’re just talking to the person next to you not having a clue.” He said and laughed.

“And the winner for choice best actress is …. (Y/N)!!!” The announcer said and the camera pointed at you. You couldn’t help the smile that took over your face. You stood up and hugged your co-star and then had turned to Harry. You both looked at each other not really knowing what to do.

He offered his hand and helped you to the ally that leads towards the stage. You smiled and went to collect your award. After your speech, you were lead backstage and went back to your seat.

“Well congratulations” Harry said. “Thank you.” You said and then there was an unconfutable silence.

During the rest of the show you talked to your co-star and some people who were sitting next to him. Then the next break arrived and you got up to go to the toilet. At the same time Harry went up as well. Both walking in the same direction and not saying a word. You wondered how it all of a sudden became so awkward between you two. He looked behind him and said, “You’re stalking me, are you?” smiling at you.

You shook your head with a smile. “No, don’t flatter yourself.” He laughed and it seemed like the tension between you two vanished.

You walked out the toilet and saw that Harry was standing there with his phone in his hand. You cleared your throat and he looked up and smiled at you. “You ready to go back to our seats?” He asked.

“Ooh, did you wait for me? Well that’s cute.” You said and pinched his cheek.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” He said mocking you. “I didn’t want you to get lost now, did I”

You laughed. “So, you ready to go mylady?” He said in a posh British accent. Offering his arm.

“Why thank you kind sir.” You said and hooked your arm in his. You went back to your seats just in time for the next part of the show to begin. During this part Harry had won 3 awards for his music. During the parts that weren’t that important to the both of you, you talked and laughed.

You were telling him about that time during Christmas when your uncle was quite drunk and knocked over the Christmas tree, when choice style icon was being announced.

“What is it with us and not being able to finish stories?” Harry asked. “Well, an award show maybe isn’t the best place to chat.” You said. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. Maybe we should talk somewhere quieter. How about tomorrow, you doing anything for lunch?” He asked.

You looked at him with a surprised expression on your face. Did Harry just ask you out on a date? You mind was racing when suddenly you heard your name. You looked up and didn’t know what happened. Your co-star pushed you up. “(Y/N)! You won!”

You passed Harry and went up the stage to get your award. You said a thanks and did a little speech. You went backstage still a bit in a daze.

When you were back in your seat and turned to Harry. “No” You said. He looked a bit confused.

“No?” He asked. “No, I am not doing anything for lunch.” You said and Harry smiled. “Good then it’s a date.” He said and you couldn’t help smiling during the rest of the evening.

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Here you go, I hope you liked it.

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All the love!

-E

Gen’s 6,000 followers celebration request by @dracodreamer

- Pregnancy pampering with Lance -

You sighed as you walked into the house after a long day out. Your nose crinkled with delight when you smelled something sweet, you followed your nose to the kitchen. Lance was pulling freshly baked brownies out of the oven and he spun when he heard your footsteps. “Babe, you made brownies?” you asked incredulously. 

He smiled and laughed, “just because I’m an athlete doesn’t mean I cant make brownies”. He cuts them and sets them aside before continuing “I ran you a milk bath as well, it’s apparently great for your skin because of all the fats and -” you step forward and cut off his rambling with a kiss. 

“You’re adorable in daddy mode” you giggle and he rubs your belly.

“Gotta take care of my girls” he says before kissing your nose. 

You smile before pulling him in for a hug, as close as you can with your belly. “You’re reaching for those brownies behind me aren’t you?”