when she goes on about my aging

Thinking about aging in general and aging lesbians in particular, I am aware of an aspect of the theory of relativity: The description of an object under study changes with the position of the viewer, and changes especially if the viewer is in motion. What I write here is affected by my experience of aging and my slight knowledge of other lesbians. The stereotypes of age that I had when I was forty bear little resemblance to the way I see myself and other old women now. And what can be said about older lesbians now will change greatly in the coming years. This viewer is in motion; the object is not only changing, but it is also largely invisible.

In an article on “Older Women,” Matile Poor notes that “relatively few women over sixty-five identify themselves as lesbians.” She goes on to estimate from 1977 figures that there were at that time at least 834,000 old lesbians. It’s fair to assume that there are a lot more nearly a decade later. Where are they? Today, as younger lesbians are beginning to consolidate their strengths and influence, the presence of older lesbians is sorely needed for role models and mentors, for a source of wisdom and courage, and by their numbers to make all of us more visible, a force to be reckoned with. Many young lesbians need assurance that they can grow into a rich and creative old age not much affected by prejudice. An older lesbian’s obvious pride and pleasure in being who she is, politically active or not, can encourage younger ones to have confidence in their futures. A pair of assured, lively, contented old dykes can give the lie to much of the homophobic and ageist propaganda that young lesbians are subjected to.


The inevitability of death means that an old lesbian finds her circle of close friends is shrinking, and she has to deal with a lot of losses. Some of us have younger relatives and friends to help keep us in touch with life and our hopes for the future. It’s imperative that older lesbians find younger friends. They need us, too. The old crone, the wise woman, the witch have always been valued in many cultures. We can ensure that they are valued here, too.


Buffy Dunker, “Aging Lesbians: Observations and Speculations,” from Lesbian Psychologies: Explorations & Challenges (1987), edited by the Boston Lesbian Psychologies Collective.

Dunker’s author bio:

Buffy Dunker, B.A., taught at the Woodstock Country School for twenty-three years and trained at the Greenhouse Therapy Collective as a feminit therapist. She currently has a private therapy practice and has been the subject of numerous television shows and a film for her espousal of a lesbian identity at the age of seventy-two, and has published book reviews in Sojourner and Gay Community News

ITH birthday headcanons.

Usnavi: Getting older scares him a lot, though, strangely, his birthday tends to be the only time he stops thinking about how he’s getting older. He loves to be pampered and have a party with his favourite people. Has been known to sing it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.

Vanessa: Age really doesn’t matter to her; she’ll do what she wants to do until she can’t. She’s never really organised how to spend it, she just goes out and has fun as always and is happy when more people come with her than usual.

Nina: Birthdays bother her a lot, they’re a reminder that she hasn’t done as much as she wanted to in that year. While she’s grateful for everyone’s generosity, she tends to work through her birthday more than any other time of the year, anxious to get things done.

Benny: All Benny asks for for his birthday is time with Nina which he his more than happily given. He likes to stay in bed all day and eat his favourite foods, it’s a very relaxing day.

Sonny: Sonny never really gotten over the idea of birthday parties, he still loves them, Everyone is more than willing to dedicate their day to wearing party hats and eating off of paper plates because who can say no to Sonny?

Pete: He hates birthdays. It isn’t the actual birthday that bothers him but he isn’t one to have all the focus directly on him for an entire day, he’d much rather give that attention to other people.

My favorite scene in Age of Ultron is when Agent Hill is bashing Wanda and Pietro, she is talking to Steve about how horrible they were to volunteer for the experiments that gave the twins their powers. So, Steve is all like “oh yeah what lunatic lets a German scientist experiment on them to protect their country” and I love that. It just goes to show that when people are ignorant or fearful it makes them biased or mean.

The main point is that this scene always reminds me to never take anyones negativity or hatred to heart because they probably don’t understand you or are even scared of you (which is pretty cool). So, just don’t let people burst your bubble, continue to fight for what you believe in, and always be like Captain America.

do you ever think back to the bullshit sex ed you got when you were younger and want to punch everyone in the fucking face

i constantly see posts on here about pregnancy facts no one ever tells women - you go to the doctor because there’s a fucking human growing inside you and they tell you nothing

and i just think about the fact that i didnt even know what a human penis actually looked like til i was 18 and was curious enough to watch porn, and that i learned what a clitoris was from fanfiction at age 15.

when i was 10, my mom took me on a walk to the library and told me what a period was. she then checked out a book on puberty, had me read it, and asked me if i was “surprised” by what sex was. i didnt really know what to say. all i had learned was a penis goes in a vagina. i said no, and that was that.

in fifth grade, i went to a catholic elementary school. girls and boys were split into separate rooms and we learned about female puberty. sex was spoken of in the barest terms, and we just learned what parts were from illustrated diagrams. the teacher barely looked us in the eye.

sophomore year of college, health class was just as useless. the only knowledge i had of the penis was what it looked like cut in half with the vas deferens labeled. i barely knew what was happening with my own goddamn genitals. a graphic video showing live birth was shown (i hid behind my geometry book) and sex was never mentioned again.

no one talked about condoms. no one talked about anything. i had to seek out my own sex ed from goddamn fictional stories about the characters in friends and pornhub.

i just… get so goddamn mad when i think about this.

So, about Leo’s age

(all in relation to Mattie so we might feel less guilty for shipping them)

I’ve been rewatching episode 6 and Leo’s childhood. Mia is 14 years old, and when doing my first calculation (I thought wrongly that she was created at the only age Leo’s ever given the audience, which is 13) I got 27 years old for Leo which is literally too old for this ship to be confortable.

But Mia was created when he was only a kid. He still played with toys and looked up to Mia. The next step is then to guess what age Leo was when Mia was created, and a first guess would be that he was around 8 (estimation due to his size). That would make present Leo be 22 years old. (!!)

Another clue we’re given is Mattie saying that the technology David Elster used for Leo to keep his memory in digital form is ten years old, but Leo told her that it was not to his father, that he still used it after it had become obsolete. Now, this could be related to using them on Leo’s siblings, but Leo’s accident was after Max, the little brother, was created. This line concern’s Leo’s accident. Therefore, Leo’s accident must have been less than ten years from now, maybe 8 or 7. He was thirteen years old. 13 + 8 = 21. (therefore, he would have been 7 years old when Mia was created. I’m such a good guesser).

Leo’s in his early twenties, not 30 years old. Mattie’s been seen driving a car, and Wikipedia tells me teenagers in their seventies can already have a driving licence. She’s in high-school. She must be 17, at best 18.

That makes like an age-gap of four years.

I think it’s pretty much safe to ship them :)

Sing Thoughts

I recently saw the movie “Sing” and I gotta say that I thought it was pretty darn cute and all-around good! Here are some of my other thoughts about it. (WARNING: POTENTIAL SPOILERS. MAYBE. I DON’T REALLY KNOW.) (ALSO, I MAY ADD MORE TO THIS POST IF I THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE. OKAY, ENOUGH BABBLING.)

1) In the beginning when Buster was explaining how his love for theatre began at a young age when his father took him to see a musical, that got me in so many ways!

2) Ash doesn’t conform to the norms of being a girl. Buster gives her potential pop songs to sing, she goes and writes her own rock n’ roll anthem. Buster makes her wear a princess dress, she packages it with a leather jacket and glasses (that I will get to in a moment!). She’s just a short little rebel and proud of it!

3) Ash wearing her boyfriend’s lover’s glasses during her final performance was just a great big “F**K YOU!!!”

4) Both Meena and Rosita let themselves go and allow themselves to be caught up in the moment of performing, which also hit me pretty hard.

5) Also with Meena, I like how the writers made her work as a stagehand instead of becoming a performer straight out of the gate. It really shows that there are other jobs in theatre besides acting and singing that can be beneficial. Then, once Buster got to know and believe in her, he promoted her in a way and let her sing in the show.

6) I love Taron Egerton and I love Johnny. No one can persuade me otherwise.

That’s it! Thanks for reading!

anonymous asked:

Yes, please recommend more YouTubers you watch!! :)

i didn’t categorize these out because i’m lazy but thank you for asking because i love making lists and talking about people who make me excited about life!

  • my love of youtube obvs goes back to 2009 when i started watching the vlogbrothers and i don’t really watch them anymore but i’m putting them on this list anyway
  • i’ve been watching kathleen lights for ages and she’s so funny and sweet and i would buy every product she recommends if i had the money
  • right now lucy moon is my favorite; she’s posting a video every day in january and she talks about a variety of topics including beauty and life and depression and sometimes she sings and i want to be her friend
  • estee lalonde has been on youtube forever so you probably know of her and she doesn’t post videos as often as some of the other vloggers i watch but i follow her on snapchat so i feel like i always know what she’s up to
  • ingrid nilsen is wonderful as well; she’s adorable in her vids and i love her podcast with catrific, ladies who lunch
  • dodie is the cutest human being and i mostly watch her vlogs because she’s a great storyteller but she’s also a musician 
  • savannah brown is really articulate and she makes me miss my college friends and their analytical minds and her videos are very calming to watch
  • hannah witton talks about sex and dating and other things related to life as a 20something and she seems like a really nice, genuine person and watching her makes me want to be my best self (that’s a weird thing to say and i realize that this post is gonna make me sound like i have no real friends but whatever)
  • lex is smart and has a wonderful accent and i spend a lot of time with children who cuss frequently so it’s just nice to spend my free time listening to people speak nicely
  • thataylaa does foundation fridays every week and i just love listening to her talk about blending things and she’s very organic which is cool
  • i’ve also been watching sharon farrell lately because i love her accent and she used to do a lot of makeup tutorials but she just announced that she’s going to be shifting the content of her channel to include more vlogs and whatnot, which is cool cause i love listening to people talk about their lives
  • cassie from thriftthick is atypical in that she doesn’t do sponsored videos and she doesn’t overproduce and she seems very real
  • i’m gonna recommend rosianna again even though she was on my other list because i love her and her content is wonderful

i could probably list more but i should go to bed and this list is long enough but if there are other people that you think i should watch based on my taste let me know!!

Can you just imagine though, later in the Josephine romance

One night the inquisitor returns to Skyhold in the middle of the night, when everyone is asleep besides patrolling guards, and the inquisitor goes to get in bed with Josephine, but tries to be as quiet as possible, as to not wake her up. But she does, and in quite a panic, not being able to recognize them, screams, and throws a punch, successfully giving the inquisitor a black eye. And they are just trying to calm her down, trying to grab her arms that are bashing them on the head. “It’s me! Maker- stop-! Josie! It’s me!” It doesn’t take her too long to recognize them and spends the rest of the night apologizing profusely and fawning over them, even though they insist I’m fine.

Next day at the war table Josephine looks terribly embarrassed, as the Inquisitor carries on, dead tired, with a swollen black eye.

And Leliana looks a little too happy…

So I was talking to my mom on the phone yesterday after school talking about my math teacher that we both hate because she likes to drag on me over idiotic and simplistic stuff to my mom when my mom says, “Who is Evan?”

Of course at first I’m like “What? I don’t know why?” and my mom goes “Mrs. M says that she heard you talking about some guy named Evan and on the back of your homework a letter written to him talking about you cant date home because he’s 29 and you’re not legal.”

I have never laughed so hard in my life. I said, “Mom, I was talking about Evan Peters! Me and Alliah (my best friend) were fangirling over Evan and writing weird shit down for fun, I forgot I put it on my homework.”

My mom started laughing because she knows about my crush on Evan and said, “That’s what I thought. You’re so weird, I told her ‘listen lady, she doesn’t know anyone named Evan and definitely doesn’t know anyone over 29, stop calling me.’” She laughed with me.

True story.

i was at the urgent care center with the flu and i mentioned to the doctor i had a very serious, rare case of pneumonia a few years ago. She stepped out of the room to run some tests then came back really wide eyed and goes “i wanted to ask, did you get that feeling (when I had the pneumonia)? The feeling that you would die?” and she went on to explain that when she was around my age, she had something sort of similar, and her doctor never bothered to properly diagnose/treat her (she said he would later go on to kill himself about 3 years later). She asked if I too got the feeling, when you can’t breathe and you feel hot and you actually think you’re going to die. A technician was in the room too at this point and the doctor didn’t care, she needed to know or tell or relate. I said I did, and she said she was just curious because she got it too and wanted to know after all these years if someone else had felt that feeling. And then I said “I’m glad you’re okay” and she said “I’m glad you made it out too”. It was such an eerie moment.

I was tagged by @noahczyrne​ aaaaaaaa thank u so much <33

rules: Copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you… and most importantly, HAVE FUN!

A - Age: 20
B - Biggest fear: my mom isn’t allowed to die if she goes i’m going with her
C - Current time: 6:30 pm
D - Drink you last had: water
E - Every day starts with: going ot pee and brushing my teeth lol
F - Favorite song: atm is oh nana by kard [i can make yall playlists if u want]
G - Ghosts, are they real: i don’t know my dude i’m agnostic
H - Hometown: RS, brazil
I - In love with: kpop, summer break, ice cream, having a lot of free time
J - Jealous of: rich people, famous people, people who are genuinely happy
K - Killed someone: who hasn’t
L - Last time you cried: i don’t remember i think it was last year idk
N - Number of siblings: 1…i’m not a fan of her
O - One wish: i wanna be rich as fuck
P - Person you last called/texted: i dont remember lol
Q - Questions you’re always asked: ‘wanna make out’ LOL
R - Reasons to smile: my mom
S - Song last sang: HELLOVENUS - Mysterious
T - Time you woke up: 9:30am
U - Underwear color: beige…sexy huh
V - Vacation destination: lol I WISH i had one bitch im broke af
W - Worst habit: i have so many like i bite my nails, i complain about everything, i trust people too easily
X - X-rays you’ve had: none
Y - Your favorite food: pizza or hamburgers
Z - Zodiac sign: scorpio

i tag: @queeniesgoldstein @hermionegrangers @haleyscott @karmaashcroft @sebbystan @stiles-lydia @quinnfabrays @celebritiesandmovies @alyciadebnamcarey @kanted

anonymous asked:


character: hate them | don’t really care | like them | LOVE them | THEY ARE MY PRECIOUS

ship with:  no one! and not even because of her age- this girl too busy and also too wounded to bother with that shit. I like to think she has a bunch of little crushes though, mostly that amount to developing great friendships.

friendship them with:  Lucio, Zenyatta, Zarya, McCree, Mei, Reinhardt, Genji, Tracer

general opinions: She’s not a child. This girl is 19 - likely 20 by now - and has been in wars. She has fought for her country, and idk about elsewhere, but here in the USA, when a boy goes off to war at 18 and comes back, he’s treated like a man, not an infant and D.Va fucking deserves that same respect. So what if she likes video games, doritos, or taunts her enemies in game, that doesn’t make her incapable of being an adult- just look at half of the youtubers out there. I try not to get too opinion-y on this blog because I want it to be a nice place and very open to people with all sorts of headcanons but goddamn if it doesn’t piss me off to see her constantly treated like a child. There are a few things that don’t infantilize her that are funny - ie. solider: 76 making everyone lunches and snacks, ana tucking everyone in, reaper being the annoyed uncle - but these don’t make D.Va a kid, they just make it clear that those three act like parents. What’s not funny is making her a baby, and I don’t just mean like… she’s looked after, but like these other adults, her peers, have ownership over her because of her age. Hell, even in OL I am clear that D.Va does whatever she wants and the only reason she ever asks permission for things is from manners, not because Jesse owns her. I really really love her, not as much as I love my boys, but I love her and it sucks seeing so much around here about her being The Kid and nothing about her bravery, her sass, or her ability to smile and laugh in the face of constant carnage. She copes, sometimes not in the most healthy of ways, and these are things I’d like to see expanded on by the fandom, NOT the ‘everyone’s baby’ D.Va.

Sup Love♡

It’s my sisters birthday soon and I know this is short notice but could you do a plus size nsfw for her oc Rebecca Baxter! I would of requested sooner bit I was out on a trip with no Internet. But if you do accept here are some stuff about her oc. Age: 25 Owner and founder of Baxter Technologies. Daughter of Trigon older sister of Raven. Lived in London but moved to Bludhaven build her business. Goes by source when she is fighting crime. Is a nerd. 6'8 dark skinned and plus sized. Sassy and a hard working woman but behind closed doors a weird nerd and geek who loves making Cosplay(s) and weapons. Has a weapons named monster metal that is a metal that she can change into any weapon she wants using her powers to charge it. Hopefully this is enough! 

The censorship of Willow and Tara’s relationship in season 4 goes to show how sheltered Willow and girls of her time would have been to lesbian experiences or romance between women. This is still the case now for so many young lesbians including myself. (I accepted my sexuality around the same age as Willow. I had dated boys like Willow did. I had actually dated more boys than Willow did. You see where this is going?) 

Saying Willow is bi rather than could have been (definitely not “should have been”) is a microaggression against lesbians. It is lesbophobic. Stop it.

Yes, there are issues with bierasure in it now (read: Buffy) but you can’t just point at a lesbian who went through compulsory heterosexuality in high school over 15 years ago and label her bisexual when she’s been out and proud for years.

I firmly believe the decision to not fully explain this on the show came from not wanting to turn their relationship into a gimmick. I believe it was done out of respect but also due to their limitations on what they could say. Willow herself says on countless occasions, however, that she is a lesbian and clearly has no interest in being with men ever again once she accepts her own orientation.

Respect this. Respect lesbians. Respect our experiences and our stories. Actively seeking to erase us is wrong.

Concept/Prompt: Fallout London

Fallout is all about the US, which is nice, but I really want to know what’s happening in England.

My theory: by 2077, the entire southern half of England has been absorbed into London. The North is a terrifying place full of legendary monsters, so nobody goes there to check if you know, they made it through the war (potential DLC?).

The Queen is still alive but ghoulified, as she was walking her corgis when it all went down. Nobody knows why or how she had already survived past the age of 150 by that point because she’s still the Queen, thank you very much, and she’ll set her corgis on you if you pry too closely. She is a potential companion. Her personal quest involves tracking down a shipment of matching handbags and hats that were never delivered because apocalypse. Her max relationship perk is ‘Release the Hounds’, which spawns a small pack of ghoul corgis to protect you when you are dangerously low on health.

(this came to me after seeing ghoul grannies which sounds incredible.)

Definitely Not James Bond is also a potential companion. He likes sarcasm, explosions and watches, particularly ones with the make written on them in really big letters. His personal quest involves such a watch and a very small pair of swimming trunks. I don’t know how but it is Very Important To The Plot. His max relationship perk is ‘Release the’ wait no. ‘Shaken, not Stirred’ which grants an increase in damage and sarcasm after drinking alcohol.

The remnants of Cambridge University (now pretty much in central London) have also been working on robots/synthetic humans, but more undergraduates survived than real scientists so all the personalities were developed from internet memes. Hence Gordon Ramsay Bot is a further potential companion. His max relationship perk is ‘Idiot Sandwich’ which will occasionally trigger an attack wherein, if your intelligence stat is higher than your opponent’s, he slaps them round the head with a couple of pieces of bread, delivering a devastating and shaming blow. If your intelligence is lower, he hits you with the bread, but the opponent is temporarily disarmed by second-hand embarrassment.

(this came to me after seeing the Gordon Ramsay as Sole Survivor post that went around a couple of days ago)

Trying to think of more companions. Someone who’s convinced they’re Mary Poppins, their personal quest is to finally find them a modified umbrella that will let them fly? A member of a cult dedicated to coffee shops, thinking that their existence on every street must be a sign of a pre-war religion, their personal quest to get them a goddamned croissant? Any suggestions?

Switching Places Prologue (KBTBB & MPD)

Fandom: Kiss By The Baddest Bidder & Metro PD: Close To You
Rated: Drama, Thriller, Smut

MPD’s mc Mika is the twin sister of KBTBB’s mc Mia who is now unconscious in the hospital, determines to find the people responsible, Mika goes undercover as Mia to get close to the bidders and find out the truth.

Mia and Mika parents had a nasty divorce when they’re young ending with Mia living with mum and Mika with dad. Despite of the fact that they were separated at a young age, these two remained close. Blood is thicker than water after all, they may not see each other very often but they keep in touch and they can talk about everything and anything. Or so this is what Mika believes until she goes undercover to see a whole different life of Mia.

This has played in my head for some time and I finally type them out. I’m used to writing script so hopefully it works out okay. No smut in prologue though sinners. Here you go, enjoy!
You swing open the door and greet everyone with the biggest smile on your face, only to meet with complete silence while all the boys turn around and look at you awkwardly. Kirisawa finally speaks, “Morning, Hijikata. Why don’t you come over and take a seat.” You frown a little and wonder what’s wrong, they look so serious! “Did something happen when I was away?” No one answers, not even Kyobashi the womanizer who teases you every chance he gets. And you know something is VERY wrong. You pull your chair and sit down while everyone else stands around you. With a confirming nod from Kirisawa, Hanai walks forward and turn the whiteboard around to review their current case. Your eyes are now wild opened when you see the VICTIM’S face in the middle of the investigation board. An identical face of your own, only more pale and calm as if she’s just in her deep sleep.

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TMI OneShot - Voice of an Angel

I finished re-reading City of Ashes this afternoon (Book 2 of The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare for those of you who don’t know) and this little post-series scene popped into my head. I haven’t written a One-Shot like this in AGES so we’ll see how it goes.

Summary: Short, but sweet - Clary wonders if she’s spawned an artist and Jace discovers something about his daughter.

From the day she was born, Clary Herondale had been watching for any sign of artistic inclination in her daughter. She would often watch little Adele surreptitiously out of the corner of her eye when she had her sketch pad out, wondering if her daughter would follow in the footsteps of Fairchild women before her.

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Oh, gosh! On Doctor Who, the most difficult scene for me was the episode - I think it’s The Name of the Doctor. And it’s when he goes back…that’s when he goes back, isn’t it, and finds his grave? In that episode,  where my character is there as an apparition and she’s actually already died, and she’s come back to sort of be hanging around. Well, we had this moment in the TARDIS, where he’s saying ‘I have to let you go. Goodbye’. At the Q&A last night, we were talking about how manic the filming is and there’s never enough time to shoot anything, and it’s sort of pressure, pressure, pressure!

[…] it took ages to set this scene up - and for all I knew, it was the last time I was ever going to be on Doctor Who; this was the moment where I was saying goodbye to him, finally. And I could only do it in one take!

Matt was so angry with them! Because they were saying 'No, we have literally 2 minutes before we have to wrap for the night. Okay, shoot!’ And Matt was so furious, and I was sort of upset at their sort of treatment of us and also the fact that this was a big deal for my character.

We did. We did it in one take. And I wasn’t happy about it. I left feeling sort of cross, actually.
—  Alex Kingston, in response to fan question, “What was the most emotionally difficult scene you’ve played?” - Salt Lake Comic Con Q&A panel (March 26, 2016)

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Jenna Coleman right here? I mean, holy wow. She goes from our Clara, worried about saving the planet, to this other wordly villain in a heartbeat. 

The whole episode Clara has been pretty normal but something’s been off. She seemed unconcerned about little Sandeep and his obviously creepy parents. She went back to her apartment for seemingly nothing instead of jumping into action. Her middle age comment to Jac was odd and her almost sadistic enjoyment when preparing to shoot the Zygon pods was unsettling. And, let’s face it, there was a distinct lack of heart eyes for her Time Lord (although I think Bonnie might have slipped up at one point). 

But really she’s so close to Clara that it’s easy to not suspect anything. Until you know. Jenna Coleman absolutely killed it. Her secret flies under the radar so subtly until it’s finally revealed and then you’re going, “I knew it!” Plus, it must be said, she looks drop dead gorgeous here. Especially that last gif. Damn. Make her a Bond villain or something.