okay so what i’m about to say is probably going to piss everyone off and i’m totally prepared to receive any hate messages people feel like sending. i’ll probably deserve them. this is building upside inside and i have to let it out before i explode and i came back to this account because i have no other real outlet.
so full disclaimer i’ve been a huge Ben Affleck fan for years and I think because of that, well actually no I’m quite certain that because of that, I’m not looking at this scenario with full objectivity, but I just feel people on social media have been acting completely ridiculously about this scenario (but before you lose it, NOT in regards to the Hilarie Burton thing, which the reactions are legit and which I’ll address later)
Okay so for starters: I hate twitter culture. Whenever anything happens people are always like “WHY hasn’t so-and-so tweeted anything about this yet?” and I find that SO stupid. Like why do you expect every celebrity to be at their computer or their phone 24/7 and why do you demand they post their opinion/praise/condemnation immediately? Like to me that just reeks of entitlement and narcissism. You are not entitled to a celebrity’s time or words.
so on that note, the Weinstein thing comes up and immediately people are demanding Ben (and many others) make statements which I already think is gross and then when he finally does release a full condemnation everybody rails against him anyway. Like, I hate all this “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” stuff. You can’t just leave people with no winning options.
and the claims are like “well he knew the whole time.” but like I don’t see any receipts for this. he knew the man, his bff is matt damon and he dated gwyneth paltrow but like none of that truly PROVES that he knew anything. Once again we have this “trial by twitter” thing going which I just find so repulsive. It’s Nancy Grace-ish.
now if there really are receipts for this i still think it was unfair how all of a sudden people were acting like weinstein’s crimes were entirely ben’s fault. If he knew could he have stopped him? Maybe. Maybe not. Like, it was not ben affleck’s or matt damon’s or gwyneth paltrow’s or hillary clinton’s responsibility to take out harvey weinstein. it was not their fault he did these things and it’s so unfair they should share the blame. And like somehow ALL the attention got focused onto ben instead of the actual mass rapist that started the discussion, which I think was just atrocious.
and weinstein was the guy who made him famous by getting good will hunting on to the screen, so I don’t know, I think it’d be pretty scary to publicly turn around and bite the hand that fed you even after all these years later. Cowardly? Maybe. Human? For sure.
And then people bring up casey, and like, i don’t think it’s fair to blame him for that either. it’s different when it’s family. he could very well believe casey is innocent, as families typically do when a loved one is accused. like my brother once got in trouble for something very inappropriate he said online and it was terrible of him to do and he deserved the consequences he got but like i still felt bad for him, cuz he’s my brother. it’s not just super easy to turn around and throw a beloved sibling under the bus. I dunno, maybe that’s just me being a shitty person again.
But then we get to the Hilarie Burton event and I can not and will not and do not want to defend that. Some ben fans go as far as to claim the video doesn’t show anything but I think between her reaction, his reaction and the way her shirt kinda flicks shows that AT BEST, he poked her boob, which is still unsolicited and unwanted touching of a sexual nature. That is awful and he should never have done that and he should be ashamed.
that said people bring this up to him repeatedly, and so he gives out an apology which subsequently gets people railing on him AGAIN when that was exactly what they were demanding he do. like what exactly do you people want from him??? a longer apology? why, you would be hurling criticisms at him regardless of what he said anyway. you wanted him to @ her? I dunno I don’t feel like she would want to be scrolling through twitter and then suddenly @-ed by the man who groped her. plus I don’t think she would accept any apology he gave anyway, which of course i would never blame her for.
(also for what it’s worth the reporter in that other video people are spreading around where she’s sitting on his lap has come out to say that it was completely consensual and he was not inappropriate with her at all, which I think needs to be signal boosted. with THAT said he also says many admittedly problematic things throughout that video)
like I just find it so revolting how people on social media, twitter in particular, act like savage accusatory bloodthirsty hounds towards others on social media and refuse to be satisfied by ANY action this person takes to try and make amends. You can’t just leave people in no win scenarios. It’s all just. so. ugly.
And these videos and accusation are quite old - which is not not not an excuse and he should be held accountable for sure - but I can’t help feel bad because I just don’t think 2017 Ben Affleck is like this at all. He hasn’t been jocular and cocky and boorish like that for years, I don’t think. Plus he’s struggling with alcoholism. And he does good things in this world, like his work in the Eastern Congo. So i find it kinda sad that his career is definitely going to be ruined now (I highly doubt he’ll ever be allowed to be Batman again for starters) when I thought he was working his way up to becoming a real good person. That’s probably just me being a stupid fanboy, I guess.
I hope nothing i’ve said has hurt anybody out there who is a victim of assault. If I have you can explain it to me if you feel comfortable, or you can angrily call me a terrible person, I feel like I deserve that too.
If anybody wants to have a civil conversation about this, even if just to explain how I’m totally wrong, I am completely open to that. Or if you want to hit me with the full outrage I am ready and willing to accept that too, no complaints. I expect a lot of ‘yikes’ reactions. Sometimes I feel like I’m “woke” but other times I feel like just a clueless idiot. so yeah. fire away.