And when the oceans rise
When they split us apart
I will conquer the wildest storms
I will wander the longest routs
Just to be close to you
Only for a second
To hold your hand
To give my heart
What it mostly longs for
A wave is ocean, and when it rises up, it is given the name “wave.” When it is given this name, it is like it has an independent existence. It seems to roll along the surface, which is all water—water flowing in water—and this we call a life. Then it subsides and this is called death. Nothing happened to the water. It is just a spontaneous movement, but because of the name and the form, it appears as a separate existence. All the while it is only the play of water rising, flowing, subsiding—no story. Mind makes the story by creating an illusory identity. In true understanding, it is all one. When the identity rises up, we call it life. When it subsides, we call it death. But really, if you look from the perspective of the pure Self, there is no such thing as an autonomous, independent existence. All actions are the actions of the ocean.
I have my ears pierced twice, but they closed up. I get keloid scars, on my upper body, so piercings all just end up turning into scar tissue for me.
I have a LOT of tattoos. Most are turning into pieces now, so I don’t even know HOW to count them. How about … I have BEEN tattooed 13 times.
Most are random things that have a special meaning to only me: a rose and shamrocks on my hip, a triquetra on one ankle, barbed wire and a butterfly on another ankle, two dragons on one leg, paw prints on my foot, the word “Chosen” on my back, the words “when oceans rise” on my other foot, a semi-colon on my wrist, the Konami Code on my left forearm, a cross on my right.
I have two Harry Potter (technically) tattoos. One is a Marauder’s Map on my left forearm, and the other is a phoenix feather quill on my right forearm, writing the words “You’re the song” from The Debt of Time.
Falling in love is feeling the warm breeze envelope you. It’s feeling giddy with laughter. It’s when you have a crush on someone and for the first time in forever, for some reason, the stars align and your crush likes you back. Falling in love is springtime. It’s stepping into a bath tub when the water is just right. Fire, passion, red, all emotions described in books, but instead love is blue and purple in all the right places. Love is soft, like a puppy’s fur. Love is calm and serene. Love is when the ocean rises and tickles your toes. Falling in love happens slowly and unexpectedly. You are in love before you ever noticed it started. Love is watching a baby play peek-a-boo. It’s a feeling of accomplishment when beating your high score. Love is tender and if you listen carefully, you can hear it’s heart beating.
Requested by Anonymous:
Can you just write something sad? Like, I love crying; make me hate you.
You wanted sad. Here’s
When Oceans Rise
You were nervous; pacing the floor of your living room and
chewing on your thumbnail. You stared once again at the white and grey plastic in
your hands and smiled before shoving it back in your pocket. “This will be
good.” You say for the fifth time, then go back to your pacing.
After another 20 minutes or so, Daryl finally came home. “Hi,
love.” You say, smiling and going to wrap your arms around his midsection.
“Hi.” He says back, clearly exhausted from his watch shift. “What
are you still doing up? It’s 2AM.”
“I’ve been waiting to talk to you about something.” You say,
pulling him over to the couch to sit down.
“Why didn’t we talk before I left for my shift?”
“I didn’t need to then. We need to now, though.”
“What’s wrong?” He looked concerned.
“Nothing’s wrong.” You reached into your back pocket and
pulled the piece of plastic back out. “Here.” You grinned, pressing it into his
Daryl stared at it for a moment before saying, “What is it?”
You laughed. “It’s a pregnancy test, Daryl. I’m pregnant!”
You continued to laugh and smile, excited to start the next chapter of your
life with your boyfriend.
“You’re pregnant?” He says, looking more upset than anything
“Uh, yeah, I am. Probably two or three months now, actually.”
Your smile was wavering. “Is everything OK?”
Daryl didn’t answer, just kind of shrugged, then stood back
up and moved for the front door. “Where are you going?” You ask, getting up and
reaching out for his arm.
“I’m going out.” He says, picking his gun back up and
opening the front door. “I need to think.”
“What’s wrong?” You say, suddenly terrified. “Aren’t you
Daryl isn’t looking at you; he’s staring out across the
front porch and towards the moonlit street. “I… don’t know.” He says quietly.
“I love you.” You say. It was the first time either of you
had said it.
Daryl nods slowly before leaving and shutting the door
You stayed up all night waiting for Daryl to return, but he
didn’t come home that night. By the time 10AM rolled around, you were resigned
that he wasn’t coming home that morning, either. Tired, scared, and a little nauseous,
you put your clothes on and ventured outside for the day.
“Hey Mags,” You say as you approach the front guard tower
where Maggie and Sasha were trading places for watch. “Has Daryl come back yet?
Did you let him in this morning?”
Maggie frowns. “No, he didn’t. When did he leave?”
“Around 2AM.” You say.
Seeing the dark circles under your eyes and the look on your
face, Maggie puts a hand on your shoulder and says, “Are you OK? Did something
It was then that you started crying. “I’m so stressed out,
Maggie.” You say and she pulls you into a hug. “I’m pregnant.” You admit.
“That’s great!” She says. “Isn’t it?”
“I thought so, yeah. But when I told Daryl last night, he
just left. I asked him if he was happy, and he told me he didn’t know. And then
he just left.” Maggie held you as you cried.
“It’ll be OK.” She said. “He’ll come back. He just needs to
think.” She suggested.
“I’m just so afraid that—“
You were interrupted by Sasha calling down from the guard tower,
“Maggie, go get Rick! We’ve got company!”
You gave Maggie a worried look before she ran off in the
direction of the Grimes’s house and you began to scale the ladder to the guard
tower. When you reached Sasha’s side, you gasped.
Beyond the wall was a group of about 50 people marching
towards Alexandria, and when you turned to run home and get your gun, you were
practically knocked off the tower by the front gate exploding.
Daryl was sitting in a tree about twenty miles from
Alexandria, sharpening a stick with his knife. He’d hiked out this far in the middle
of the night, arriving at a large tree with expansive branches around sunrise.
Then, he scaled up to his current perch about halfway up the tree and began to
Y/N was pregnant, and for some reason, he wasn’t ecstatic.
He’d always wanted to be a dad, but now that it was happening, he just felt
“You’re a pussy.” Daryl looked over and saw Merle sitting on
the branch next to him. This wasn’t uncommon since his brother had passed away;
Daryl was often visited by apparitions of Merle when he was trying to make a
“Go away.” Daryl said, “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“What are you scared of, Darlena?” Merle says, rolling his
eyes. “A few dirty diapers? Your old lady?”
“I said go away.” Daryl mutters, continuing to sharpen his
“What are you
afraid of?” Daryl looks to his left and sees Beth sitting on the tiny branch,
her legs dangling from the tree and swinging carelessly. “You can tell me,
Daryl, I’m your friend.” She points out.
“I ain’t scared of nothin.” Daryl says, unappreciative of
his mind ganging up on him like this.
“We both know that’s a lie.” Merle huffs.
“Be kind, Merle.” Beth scolds, then says, “But it’s true.
You’re scared of something. Otherwise you’d be at home right now, enjoying your
day off with your girlfriend.”
Daryl huffs and tries to ignore the two of them, focusing on
turning the stick into a bear figurine. Finally, when it looked like the
apparitions weren’t going away anytime soon, he says, “I’m scared of a lot of
stuff, OK? What if Y/N ends up like Lori? Or what if they both die? Or what if…”
His face flushed and he dropped his voice. “What if I end up like my dad?”
Merle was quiet for once, just watching Daryl. Beth reached
out, though, and placed her hand on his cheek. “Oh Daryl…” She said, sadly. “You
“You don’t know that.” Daryl’s whittling was more aggressive
now, and he accidentally sliced the head off of the bear. “Dammit.” He mumbles.
“Dad was a dick.” Merle says, staring off into the forest.
Daryl huffs in agreement. “But you’re not.” Daryl looked over at him. “You’re
better than that. You’ll love the shit out of that kid.” Merle shrugs. “Cause,
you know, you’re sensitive and shit.”
Daryl frowns. “You’re just saying what I want to hear because
you aint’ real.”
Beth starts to laugh. “Of course we’re just saying what you
want to hear!” Daryl frowns at her. “But it’s only because you already know it’s
“What if it all goes south? And we lose Alexandria? I can’t
lose my family like that.” Daryl shakes his head.
“So, you’re going to lose your family by running away?”
Merle accuses. “Because THAT would make you an even bigger pussy.”
“I ain’t runnin.” Daryl says angrily. “I just needed to
Beth gives him that sad, knowing look that he always hated. “Go
Daryl presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and sighs
loudly. “Alright.” When he looks back up, the ghosts are gone.
Daryl was getting closer to Alexandria, picking through the
last mile of woods, when he heard the shots and saw the smoke. Something was
He began to run.
When he came into view of the front gate, he pushed himself
to run even harder. Fires were blazing in a few of the homes, and the streets
were filled with gunfire and bodies. Pulling the gun off of his back, Daryl ran
past the destroyed gate and into the streets of the community, firing on anyone
he didn’t recognize.
He ran up the main street, turning sharply onto the road that
lead to his house, and running nearly smack into Rick. The other man was
struggling with one of the strangers and Daryl didn’t hesitate to put a bullet
in the man’s skull.
“Thanks.” Rick said, picking his gun back up.
“What’s happening?” Daryl asks.
“We’re under attack.” Rick says. “We’re winning, though.”
“Where’s Y/N?” Daryl says and Rick shakes his head.
Daryl follows Rick as they make their way through the
community, clearing out the invaders one-by-one. After an hour of fighting, the
gunshots had died down, and the remaining members of the opposing group were
being chased out of the community. People then ran in all directions to put out
the fires and close the hole made by the incinerated gate.
“Maggie!” Daryl yelled, grabbing the woman by the arm as she
ran past. “Where’s Y/N?”
“I don’t know.” Maggie says, shaking her head. “I need to
find Glenn, though.” She says, before pulling gently out of his grip and
running off to find her husband.
Daryl started running again, calling out loudly for his
girlfriend and asking everyone if they knew where you were. Finally, he turned
up the street near your house once more. “Y/N!” He yelled.
“Daryl!” The call came back, and Daryl turned to see Denise
trying to flag him down. She was kneeling in the grass of a nearby lawn,
attending to someone who was lying next to her. “Get over here!” Denise yelled.
Daryl jogged over, but stopped suddenly a few feet away.
You were lying in a large pool of blood, blinking back tears
and gripping Denise’s arms tightly. “Denise, it hurts.” You say, though you’re
sure she knows that.
“I’m sorry, Y/N, I—“
“Y/N!” You turned your head and saw Daryl running through
the street next to you, calling out your name.
“Daryl!” Denise flagged him down. “Get over here!”
Daryl began to jog over, but stopped sharply when he saw
your face. You watched, helpless, as the color left his face and he slowly
walked over to you, sinking down into the bloody grass at your side. “Y/N.” He
said quietly, taking his jacket off and using it to apply pressure on the gash across
your stomach. You winced and whimpered in pain. “Can you do anything?” He asks
Denise, but she only shakes her head.
“I’m sorry.” Just then, Tara called out to Denise, saying
she was needed in the infirmary. “I’m so sorry, Y/N.” She says, then squeezes
your hand before standing up and running off in the direction of the infirmary.
“Daryl?” You say once you’re alone. “Are you mad at me?”
Daryl began blinking back tears, and his words were choked
at he said, “No, no, I’m not!” He put his head in his hands, smearing your
blood across his face. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I did this.”
You reach up weakly and put a hand on his knee. You were
crying now, too. “I love you.”
Daryl looked up, tears carving rivers through your blood on
his cheeks. “I… I love you, too.” He says. “And I should’ve told you sooner.
And I shouldn’t have left you last night. I should’ve been here to protect you
and… and our baby.”
It was harder to keep your eyes open now, and suddenly, you
felt very warm. “It’s not… your fault.” You say slowly. “I love you.” You
whisper again before closing your eyes and sinking deeper into the warm feeling.
Daryl is saying something, but you can’t understand it anymore. “It’s OK.” You say
softly. “I can see our friends.” You mumble. “They’re waiting for me.”
“They’re waiting for me.” Y/N whispers, then relaxes and her
labored breathing slows to a stop.
“Y/N?” Daryl asks, pulling her lifeless body into his arms
and shaking with fear. “Y/N, please don’t go!” He balls the back of her shirt
into his fists as he starts to sob freely now. “Please! It’s my fault! I’m
Daryl felt empty, and yet too big for his body at the same
time. His chest hurt and he couldn’t seem to cry out loud enough to release the
pressure building up inside of him. He felt like he was going to pass out. But
instead, he just held her and cried.
“Daryl?” Beth’s voice sounded out right in front of him.
“Not now!” Daryl raged, not looking up; clutching Y/N
tighter to his chest and refusing to be torn from his grief. Eventually, he
calmed down enough to breathe again.
It was quiet and still for a moment before Beth said, even
Finally, he looked up and his vision clouded over once more
Sitting cross-legged in the grass in front of him, in
between Merle and Beth, sat Y/N. She was smiling kindly at him, a baby boy
clutched tightly to her chest.
The ocean does not forget that it is a wave,
but the wave forgets that it is an ocean.
This is “why” there is manifestation;
for sake of play this forgetfulness arises.
The world is only for celebration.
Manifestation is just a cosmic drama to be enjoyed.
There is only play and it is not existent,
and continues because whatever you think so it becomes.
This manifestation was created by you
and it will be destroyed by you.
The first thought is “I.”
Then arises “my,” which is ego,
and then comes all manifestation.
Time, mind, manifestations is projected out of “I”
which is itself the projection required to manifest the play.
Undress yourself of these things and find where “I” rises from.
You are Shiva if you do not project “I,”
and your Shakti-is the projection by which to play,
Consciousness is the source of this play,
of the mind, and That is all.
The ocean cannot stay alone
and so the notion of wave is created.
When waves rise ocean loses nothing
and when waves fall ocean gains nothing.
Samsara, the illusion, maya, the play,
are the waves on the ocean of nirvana.
Waves are not separate from the ocean,
rays are not separate from the sun,
You are not separate from