I tried to make a home outta you. But doors lead to trapdoors. A stairway leads to nothing. Unknown women wander the hallways at night. Where do you go when you go quiet? You remind me of my father, a magician. Able to exist in two places at once. In the tradition of men in my blood you come home at 3AM and lie to me. What are you hiding? The past, and the future merge to meet us here. What luck. What a fucking curse.
I tried to change. Closed my mouth more. Tried to be soft, prettier. Less…awake.
Fasted for 60 days. Wore white. Abstained from mirrors. Abstained from sex. Slowly did not speak another word.
In that time my hair grew past my ankles. I slept on a mat on the floor. I swallowed a sword. I levitated… into the basement, I confessed my sins and was baptized in a river. Got on my knees and said, “Amen.” And said I mean. I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet. I threw myself into a volcano. I drank the blood and drank the wine. I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God. I crossed myself and thought… I saw the devil. I grew thickened skin on my feet. I bathed…in bleach and plugged my menses with pages from the Holy Book. But still inside me coiled deep was the need to know. Are you cheating? Are you cheating on me?
If this what you truly want. I can wear her skin…over mine. Her hair, over mine. Her hands as gloves. Her teeth as confetti. Her scalp, a cap. Her sternum, my bedazzled cane. We can pose for a photograph. All three of us, immortalized. You and your perfect girl.
I don’t know when love became elusive. What I know is no one I know has it. My father’s arms around my mother’s neck. Fruit too ripe to eat.
I think of lovers as trees… …growing to and from one another. Searching for the same light. Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you see me? (Why can’t you) Why can’t you see me? Everyone else can.
So what are you gonna say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me?
Here lies the body of the love of my life, whose heart I broke without a gun to my head. Here lies the mother of my children both living and dead. Rest in peace, my true love, who I took for granted, most bomb pussy, who because of me, sleep evaded. Her shroud is loneliness.
Her God was listening. Her heaven would be a love without betrayal. Ashes to ashes…dust to side chicks.
She sleeps all day…dreams of you in both worlds.
Tills the blood in and out of uterus. Wakes up smelling of zinc. Grief, sedated by orgasm. Orgasm heightened by grief. God was in the room when the man said to the woman, “I love you so much. Wrap your legs around me and pull me in, pull me in, pull me in.” Sometimes when he’d have her nipple in his mouth, she’d whisper, “Oh my God.” That, too, is a form of worship. Her hips grind pestle and mortar, cinnamon and cloves, whenever he pulls out.
Loss. Dear moon, we blame you for floods…for the flush of blood…for men who are also wolves. We blame you for the night, for the dark, for the ghosts.
Every fear… Every nightmare…anyone has ever had.
You find the black tube inside her beauty case. Where she keeps your father’s old prison letters. You desperately want to look like her. You look nothing like your mother. You look everything like your mother. Film star, beauty. How to wear your mother’s lipstick. You go to the bathroom to apply the lipstick. Somewhere no one can find you. You must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face. Your mother is a woman. And women like her can not be contained.
Mother dearest, let me inherit the Earth. Teach me how to make him beg. Let me make up for the years he made you wait. Did he bend your reflection? Did he make you forget your own name? Did he convince you he was a God? Did you get on your knees daily? Do his eyes close like doors? Are you a slave to the back of his head? Am I talking about your husband or your father?
He bathes me… …until I forget their names…and faces. I ask him to look me in the eye when I come…home. Why do you deny yourself heaven? Why do you consider yourself undeserving? Why are you afraid of love? You think it’s not possible for someone like you. But you are the love of my life…love of my life…the love of my life…the love of my life.
Baptize me… …now that reconciliation is possible. If we’re gonna heal, let it be glorious. One thousand girls raise their arms.
Do you remember being born?
Are you thankful? Are the hips that cracked… …the deep velvet of your mother… …and her mother… …and her mother? There is a curse that will be broken.
You are terrifying… …and strange… …and beautiful.
The nail technician pushes my cuticles back… …turns my hand over, stretches the skin on my palm and says: “I see your daughters, and their daughters.” That night in a dream the first girl emerges from a slit in my stomach. The scar heals into a smile. The man I love pulls the stitches out with his fingernails. We leave black sutures curling on the side of the bath. I wake as the second girl crawls headfirst up my throat. A flower blossoming out of the hole in my face.
Take one pint of water, add a half pound of sugar, the juice of eight lemons… …the zest of half lemon. Pour the water from one jug, then into the other, several times. Strain through a clean napkin.
Grandmother, the alchemist. You spun gold out of this hard life. Conjured beauty from the things left behind. Found healing where it did not live. Discovered the antidote in your own kitchen. Broke the curse with your own two hands. You passed these instructions down to your daughter. Who then passed it down to her daughter.
My grandma said, nothing real can be threatened. True love brought salvation back into me. With every tear came redemption. And my torturer became my remedy.
So we’re gonna heal, we’re gonna start again. You’ve brought the orchestra. Synchronized swimmers, you are the magician. Pull me back together again the way you cut me in half. Make the woman in doubt disappear. Pull the sorrow from between my legs like silk, knot after knot after knot. The audience applauds… …but we can’t hear them.
Lame adaptations and sequels are always like, “how can Mina go back to her stifling Victorian marriage after her experience with the dark, seductive Dracula??”
Meanwhile, Mina marries her best friend, who she’s known since they were children, who she share common interests with, they build a home together, work as partners, make immense sacrifices for each other, support each other through their traumas.
Guys, a marriage isn’t stifling and restrictive just because two people… get along, I guess?
I really want to thank Whoopi Goldberg one day for refusing to say a line in TNG ‘when a man and woman fall in love’. She refused to say it like that wouldn’t be said in a Star Trek future and so when they shot the scene she said ‘when two people fall in love’ and she fucked that homophobia up like it should be fucked up.
picture alex picking up maggie at the bar. she’s late, so some girl is already hitting on maggie, far too close for alex’s liking. so alex saunters up and introduces herself…to maggie. she gives maggie a look letting her know to play along, and maggie doesn’t disappoint. imagine alex using some cheesy line and maggie turning to the girl from before and rolling her eyes like, “can you believe this?” but then she turns back to alex and is like, “yeah, you’re gonna have to do better than that.” so alex pretends to think for a second and then climbs into maggie’s lap and straddles her on the chair while they make out for a full minute. then when alex pulls back, maggie’s like, “hey, did you forget we have dinner plans with your sister tonight?” and they continue to have a normal conversation until the girl, who is shook, gets up and leaves. they laugh about it for a minute before m’gain comes over rolling her eyes and is like, “you guys really need to come up with a new bit.”
A mini celebration for 2000 followers! Thanks Everyone!!!!
A Soulmate AU where they only realise they are Soulmates when they say/read/hear
each other’s names out loud followed by an immediate overflowing of emotion sparking
inside of them. Instant realisation.
Welp. We went to see Wonder Woman. I cried during the sad parts and some of the other parts. They were the same kind of tears I had on and off through Ghostbusters. Movies with strong women who are fully realized people who are allowed to be sexual but are not sexualized and can also kick ass just make me cry randomly. Though TBH I also cry in LotR when anyone picks up their sword and runs into battle screaming the name of their home. I didn’t even realize how ravenous I was for a female version of that.
Why Diana and Steve Trevor are better than your OTP
I finally saw WONDER WOMAN today, and wow. Just wow. The film exceeded my already high expectations. Its highly wondrous success will definitely open many doors for women directors and women centric films, I’m sure. WONDER WOMAN 2017 is a force to be reckoned with, and even if a successful women centric film by a woman director like this doesn’t happen again in the near future, we will always have WONDER WOMAN 2017 to be proud of. *bows down to Patty Jenkins and Gal Gadot*
I know WONDER WOMAN is not a romance movie, but I just have to highlight why Diana and Steve are better than almost all pairings.
“Would you say you’re a typical example of your sex?” “I’m above average.” I DIED.
When Steve explained “marriage” (the “till death do us part” vow) and “sleeping” to Diana, and she asked, “Do they do that? Do they love each other till death do them part?” And then she asked if the reason Steve didn’t want to sleep with her (by “sleep with her,” she actually meant sleep beside her) was because they weren’t married. Steve was hella awkward!
“Why are they holding hands?” “Probably because they are together.” And then Diana took Steve’s hand and held it in hers. She was so pure!
When Diana had to try different outfits to blend into the crowd, and finally, Steve put a pair of eyeglasses on her eyes, and he was staring at her as though she was the most wonderful thing he’d ever seen
When Steve casually put his coat on Diana’s shoulders to keep her warm
Every single moment that they were fighting together. Diana wanted to save everyone, but Steve told her she couldn’t possibly do that. But Diana insisted. And then she was donning her wonderful Wonder Woman outfit, fighting the bad guys. Seeing Diana fight single-handedly encouraged Steve and his friends to do the same thing. And then they were fighting together. She was running on the roof; he was on the ground, running with her. Steve then remembered how, with the help of the Amazons, General Antiope used a shield to jump up, so when the time came, he and his friends did the same thing to help Diana jump up. THAT WAS EPIC!
When they slow-danced under the snow, the snowflakes as their audience. AND THE SCENE AFTER THAT.
“What I do is not up to you.” Steve knew how strong, capable, and wise Diana was, but he still wanted to protect her in his own ways.
And lastly, even though they had different ways of doing things, which they argued about most of the time, and parted ways in the end, they were always a team that Steve willingly sacrificed his life not only because it was his way to help Diana but also because he knew by doing so, Diana would be able to save the world.
“Diana. I can save today, but you can save the world. I wish we have more time. I love you.” And he handed her his watch before he ran away to save the day as promised. The same watch she asked him about when they first met.
I always love it when the man and the woman are both badass, fighting on the battlefield together. Diana and Steve Trevor were exactly that. And so much more. *bows down to Gal Gadot and Chris Pine*
Notes: trigger warnings! Implications of sexual abuse, mentions of torture, swearing, injuries, memory loss, recuperating, fluff, angst and obviously, eventually: smut.
Summary: Bucky comes back from a mission, not remembering who he is or who anyone else is. He doesn’t remember Steve, Natasha or the woman he loves. She does immediately catch his eye, though. He thinks she’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, and he’s not afraid to say it in front of people he doesn’t know anyway. What does he have to lose? As far as he knows, he has nothing. On top of being somewhere he doesn’t remember ever being and being stared at by people who seem to know him, but he doesn’t know in return, he hears a voice in his own head. Because, of course, he must be insane.
A/N: Here we are! The sequel series to Remedy :) I was gonna go somewhere else with this, but it kinda hit me out of nowhere and I thought this could be as sweet and cute as it could be heartbreaking and funny at the same time. Get ready for some awkward situations (and boners), people!
There’s a woman standing in front of me. She looks sad, scared; but still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. She says ‘Bucky’, and I can’t help but think that I’ve heard that before, but I don’t know what it means. I don’t know where I am, but I feel no threat, not from the man in the blue combat-suit next to me, not from the red head that’s next to him, holding his hand and looking equally sad as the woman before me. Not even from the man with the glasses and a doctor’s coat on my left. They all look at me as if they know me, and.. like me? They look nice enough, I guess. But I can’t help but stare at the woman standing only a feet away from me, tears in her eyes. She looks so sad.
It feels like they’re taking massive shortcuts with Mulan compared to what they did with Sleeping Beauty (Maleficent), Cinderella, and Beauty and the Beast.
Songs aside, I think my biggest concern is that the exclusion of Shang and the inclusion of Chen changes the perception of Mulan’s achievements.
Chen, from the short character description revealed, is a fellow soldier and Ping’s rival in the army until he realizes “he’s” a woman and develops romantic feelings for Mulan.
Shang, Ping’s superior, begins to trust and admire Ping after he proves himself in training and combat, and only develops romantic feelings long after the reveal (which, by the way, was a breach of trust and that’s why he chose to send Mulan away after sparing her life instead of sexism. He already put his neck on the line by sparing her life– it’s clearly against the law for Mulan to be in the army at all.) Post-Mulan 1, Mulan makes the choice to continue seeing Shang and works with him in a team.
(Obviously we don’t have any more information about Chen, but that’s all that’s literally in his character description.)
It should be clear from what information we have about Chen that his role is quite different from Shang’s role in the original film.
Why does Mulan need a rival-turned-love interest? Why does she need a rival besides the Huns, period?
Any rivals she might have had in the army (ie, Yao, Li, and Chien Po, who initially spurned Mulan) were won over by Mulan’s perseverance and good spirit. The songs, in my opinion, are integral to making it clear that this is the case, showing her rejection of traditional Chinese female roles, showing her mental strength and physical adeptness, and showing her journey of personal growth.
What does it mean when Chen has feelings of rivalry for Mulan when he’s under the belief that she’s a man, and has feelings of love for her when he knows she’s a woman? Why is that dichotomy something the writers are introducing?
Isn’t it more important that Mulan and Shang, her superior, gain a relationship of mutual respect and admiration?
Mulan shows the empowerment of a smart Chinese woman who rises in the army by the beat of her own drum, and there should never need to be a rival (especially not a male rival) to combat her efforts.?
And while I’m at it, appropriation, which is such a hot topic nowadays:
There are people who think that Disney’s Mulan is cultural appropriation (in the sense of disrespect) and who want Hua Mulan’s legend to be represented accurately in the live action, but as a Chinese person, I’m not at all offended by Disney’s portrayal of Mulan.
(I digress, but Chinese people do have sense of humor, and did even in Ancient China– I don’t find the “lack” of seriousness in Disney’s portrayal disrespectful to the original legend. While the story is set in warfare, in my opinion the relative lightheartedness of Disney’s Mulan was important in showing Mulan’s effect on the situation.)
Mulan is a major window into Chinese culture for westerners. What does the average American know about China beyond takeout, laundromats, and communism? What do they know of Chinese people beyond those? To have Mulan, an animated movie aimed at people of all ages, that gives westerners insight into the rich history and dutiful/family-oriented culture that pervades Chinese society.
The fact that, in this historic Chinese setting, a strong independent female character rises from feeling like she can’t fit into her family’s expectations for her to finding her way and becoming a warrior who is respected and loved by her family and ALL OF CHINA is important! She proves herself time and time again to be intelligent and humble, gaining others’ respect for her prowess.
(copied from my twitter thread on this subject)
Mulan doesn’t need a rival to suddenly take deeper romantic interest in her just because he finds out she’s not a man.
She’s too busy kicking Hun ass and she deserves better than a sudden change of heart (therefore feminine validation) from the likes of Chen Honghui, her purported “rival.”
Mulan (1998) is not strictly faithful to the legend of Hua Mulan, but is still an important window into the China most Westerners forget existed and exists.
It still remains to be seen whether more redeeming information about the 2018 Mulan remake will emerge, but as Disney’s only film that represents China and Chinese people, it is massively important to me that it is done justice and is treated with the respect that Disney’s other blockbuster remakes are.
X-Men Preference- What Happens When Your Kids Ask About The Birds and The Bees
Victor wouldn’t really know what to say and would try but then end up pinning it on you. “Dad, where do babies come from?” Victor hears his child say as he drives them home. Victor looks at the child a little annoyed and then looks away confused. “Well um… me and your mother love each other… so.. when a man and a woman…. um…. you know what, ask your mother when you get home.” He says to his child with a smile.
Erik would kind of smile to himself when he hears this thinking it’s cute and would be a bit sassy with his answer, but definitely explain what happens in a way that isn’t too scarring. There was silence in the lounge room with Erik reading and your child playing on the floor when all of a sudden they break the silence. “Daddy, where did I come from?” They ask with an innocent expression. “Well I’m from Germany and your mother is from y/h/c.” He tells them with a smirk. “No I mean how are humans made.” They asks their father, and Erik begins to explain.
Hank would be nervous telling them and when he did it would be a very scientific answer. “Dad, how did we come into the world.” Hanks children come up to him in his lab asking. Hank begins to stutter telling them and then begins to ramble and go into deeper explanation, until you walk in and save the day. “Okay that’s enough education for the day.” You say going down to their levels hugging them. “Is it true mummy….” The youngest asks. “Yes it is.” You tell them straight, as you wink at Hank and walk out the room.
Negasonic would smirk about the question and then pass it to you to explain it to them. “Mummy how are babies made?” The small child asks Negasonic. “Um… you can answer this one, babe.” She says looking to you with a smirk as she walks off to get a drink of water.
It’s now officially your birthday here in Fiji. Hooray-yay! Happy birthday to my beautiful partner in crime @laurajhaddock.
I am so lucky to have you. I am so grateful for you. So proud of you, and still, so deeply in love with you. Happy birthday from the other side of the world, to my entire world. Thank you for all you have been, and all you have done. Thank you for all that you are, and all that you do. And thank you for all that you are yet to become, and all you are yet to do. I only wish I could be with you in person today. Know that I will be thinking of nothing else, and am there in spirit; beside you, beneath you, behind you. Always. Thank you for giving me all of your heart and for looking after all of mine.
From the Instagram of Sam Claflin. Save this one for the annals of Best Birthday Wishes Ever and Absence Makes the Heart go Fonder.