1 35-ounce can of Tuttorosso Italian-style peeled plum-shaped tomatoes
3 or more cloves garlic, lightly smashed and peeled
3 or more anchovy fillets
½ cup pitted, oil-cured black olives
2 tablespoons capers
Salt, chili powder and berbere (not pepper)
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 pound “interestingly-shaped” pasta (I used both thin spaghetti and rotini)
Chopped fresh parsley and basil leaves for garnish
1. Bring pot of water to boil and salt it. Warm 2 tablespoons oil with garlic and anchovies in skillet over medium-low heat. Cook, stirring occasionally, until garlic is lightly golden and anchovies are brown and melty.
2. Drain tomatoes and crush with fork. Add to skillet with a light sprinkle of berbere. Raise heat to medium-high and cook, stirring occasionally, until tomatoes break down and mixture becomes saucy, about 10 minutes. Stir in olives, capers and chili powder, and continue to simmer.
3. Cook pasta, stirring occasionally, until it is tender. Drain quickly and toss with sauce and remaining tablespoon of oil. The fresh basil is highly recommended, if only to make your kitchen smell like a dream.
The aroma is peppy and sharp, lending credit to the the legend of luring customers. The salty anchovy-caper-olive combination packs a punch, so don’t over-salt without tasting. For extra authenticity, prepare the Baudelaires’ chocolate pudding for dessert.
Notes: Hi! Part two here, let me know what you think c:
Also, I’m using Splinter’s meditation room as ‘the dojo’
Warnings: Swearing, and playboy magazines.
Word count: 991
Disclaimer: I don’t own TMNT, and you belong to you <3
“You are so conceited, and arrogant and just- just- down
right rude!” It had been about a week since you’d been staying with the
turtles, whilst trying to help Donnie come up with a way of getting you and
[P/N] back home. You’d even met April and Casey. But so far, Raphael had
managed to piss you off every chance he got.
You’d crashed on the couch in the lair after spending hours
upon hours playing ‘The Legend of Zelda’ with Mikey, and you’d woken up to
Raphael screaming at the TV as he watched some weird wrestling show he was
into. Right. Next. To. You, and quite rightly, you got very upset. Beauty sleep
is important to you.
“I’m the rude one? Who owns the cat that pissed of my bed on
“Maybe it wouldn’t piss on your bed if it didn’t smell like
a toilet bowl all the fucking time!”
“What’re ya even doing in my room for ya to know it smells
like a toilet?”
“So you agree!” you laughed mockingly at the red-clad
turtles obvious anger
At this point, the screaming had gotten louder, but not any
less threatening. The other turtle brothers had dispersed to their usual spots,
and left you and Raphael to shout at each other. However, Master Splinter did
not appreciate the yelling, at all.
“What is all of this noise?” The large rat walked into the
room, his glare on the two teenagers in front of him. A dark blush of
embarrassment covered your cheeks as Raphael huffed, clearly still aggravated.
“She started it Master Splinter! I say we just kick her out,
let her find her own way home.” He growled at you, narrowing his eyes. You
glared back at the turtle, sticking your tongue at him. Why was he your
favourite turtle again?
“I expect better, from you Raphael,” you grinned, a smug
expression on your face as you gave Raph the side eye. “[Y/N] I am disappointed
in you also.” Now it was Raphael’s turn to smirk.
“Stop this nonsense, you will both go, and stay in the dojo
until you can learn to get along.” He ordered, his face very serious and angry.
Raphael’s face dropped, as did yours as you both began to protest. Splinter
wasn’t having any of it. He simply gestured for both of you to follow him.
Two hours in and you both were sat on different sides of the
dojo, glaring at each other. He was now officially your least favourite turtle.
Huffing, you stood up and started wandering around the small room. It was
definitely smaller than all the others. There were boom boxes lined up against
the back wall, there must have been over 100. As you ran your hand over each of
the stereos, Raphael watched you closely. He didn’t trust you, at least not
“I have a question.” He started, sitting up as best as he
could. Turning around, you gave him a quizzical look. “Mikey told me ya didn’t
freak out when ya first met him, why?” You stared at him for a while, trying to
figure out a way to keep your secret, without sounding suspicious or creepy.
“Just because you guys are different, doesn’t mean I should
freak out.” Raphael rolled his eyes, standing up as well and crossing his arms.
“That’s not an answer, shortstack.” Huffing, you crossed
your arms as well, imitating his stance. That made him smirk slightly. “Are ya mocking me?” You giggled, stepping back
away from him.
“Maybe I am, what’re you gonna do?” He laughed at how you
tried to emulate his voice – his ‘Batman Voice.’ You found yourself blushing as
he laughed: “You should smile more, you look hot-” your eyes widened as you
said that, smiling awkwardly. Raph stared at you quizzically before looking
Splinter opened the door 37 horribly awkward minutes later –
yes you were counting.
When you both went separate ways, you to the couch you
now claimed at your own and Raph to his weights, the turtles and their father
For once, neither of you were arguing; it was surprising.
Even Splinter didn’t think it would actually work.
“Give it a couple of days, they will be back to screaming at
But you weren’t. You stayed out of each other’s way for
days, almost as if you both were trying to ignore what you’d said. It was a
sweet complement, why were you ignoring each other?
After a while, you got sick of Raphael ignoring you, so you
decided to confront him. Leo told you he was in his room, reading a comic book
You hesitated before knocking, and barging into the room he
shared with Mikey. Sure enough, he was sat on the top bunk reading a comic book
with a red vine in his mouth.
“Why are you ignoring me?” you demanded, narrowing your eyes
and crossing your arms.
“So now ya decide ta talk ta me.” He rolled his eyes and
burrowed deeper under his covers, still concentrating on his comic.
“Yes, I’m talking to you, you could at least have the decency to
put that stupid comic down and listen to me!” you jumped on to the ladder of
the bunk bed and grabbed his comic, ripping it away from him. However, upon
further unwilling inspection, it was not a comic. It was a bunch of half naked
girls splashed about on the two-page spread. You yelped and dropped it, staring
at Raph who looked absolutely mortified and enraged at the same time. “Get the
fuck out [Y/N].” he growled, sitting up straight and watching you dash out of
anti: kylo ren doesn’t deserve redemption. he’s evil, i hate him!1!1!1!1!
bitch then who does????? bb8????
vader never should have been redeemed since he showed ZERO signs of remorse. even after he met luke he was more or less the same asshole except he loved his son and chose him over sidious, yet still - his asshole stat sheet far outweighs ren’s.
here you have ren whom understands how fucked he is since he tells han “its too late” which infers he wants to leave, but something is literally tethering him there. you think he really didnt want to go back? nah, see there is something up with snoke that we don’t know yet. he did something to kylo, you see how he is actually considering leaving with han? then the lighting changes -
that darkness again folks
- and like a fucking LIGHT, he’s the monster again. dark side manipulation does not always involve a totally conscious subject. snoke forged a link with ren since he was in the womb, and yes, that is literal. sure, kylo is making his own choices, but that is after the fact he realizes he is trapped and it is all too late. yet when it counts though, that is not the actual person.
but all the same, he repeats grandpa’s mistakes and ends up trapped because of it. ironic, because he wants to be stronger than vader, yet doesn’t realize how alike they already are.