when i think about you i pine myself

sorry- h.s song imagine

I’ve missed your calls for months it seems

Don’t realize how mean I can be

Harry’s name flashed on your phone screen in front of you. You rolled your eyes as you ignored the call once again. Your friend glanced at your phone with a slight pout, slight guilt running through her body as this was Harry’s tenth time calling you in the last hour. “Y/N. Come on. Just pick up for the poor guy.”

You swallowed a sip of your beer as you settled more into the couch in your friend’s apartment. You stared blankly at the wall. “He ruined everything.” you shook your head, already feeling your anger creeping back into your body.

Your friend sighed as she leaned her head on her arm as she stared at you, “What did he do anyways?”

You glanced at your friend and took another gulp of your beer before muttering, “He fell in love with me.”

I didn’t mean to try you on

But I still know your birthday

Groggily Harry opened the door to see you smiling with a small bag in your hand and a bottle of champagne in the other. Harry was about to open his mouth before you interrupted, “Happy birthday!”

Harry glanced at the clock on the wall behind him, “You came all this way just to be the first to wish me happy birthday?” Harry’s heart swelled at the kind gesture you’ve done. Like he often does whenever you’re around, his stomach started feeling butterflies.

As Harry let you inside, you wrapped your arms around him, “Of course, H.” He smiled brightly as you turned and made you way onto the couch. You placed the items on the coffee table and patted the set next to you. “Come on! Open your gift!”

Harry let out a chuckle, any sign of tiredness leaving his body. As he sat next to you, you placed the bag in his lap and cuddled into the side of his body. He placed a kiss on your head before saying, “You didn’t have to get me anything.” You leaned up and placed a kiss on his cheek, “It’s your birthday, H. I’ll be crazy if I didn’t get you anything. Now open it.” Harry let out another smile as he took the tissue paper out of the bag. He reached in and pulled out a black leather journal with his initials engraved on it. “Open it” you smiled. Harry opened the journal to see on the first page, written in your handwriting, “To my best friend that always has a million thoughts going through his beautiful mind, Happy birthday. x”

So I’m sorry to my unknown lover

Sorry that I can’t believe that anybody ever really

Starts to fall in love with me

Harry looked at you with a sense of panic on his face. He tried reaching out to hold your hand but you were quick to pull it back. He sighed and with a shaky voice he said, “Please Y/N. Say something.”

You looked at his eyes filled with worry. “You…love me?”

Harry nodded his head slowly and looked down at his shaky hands. “You’re my best friend. You’ve seen me at my worst and my best. You are the kindest and most beautiful girl I know…How could I not?”

You quickly shook your head and stood up from the couch. You were about to storm out of Harry’s apartment before you turned around. “You can’t be in love with me! We’re friends! That’s it! You’ve ruined everything!” You turned towards the door before Harry gently grabbed your arm, “How did I ruin things! I can’t control how I feel!”

You pulled your arm out of his grip forcibly, “Because Harry! I don’t love you!”

Sorry I could be so blind

Didn’t mean to leave you

And all of the things that we had behind

You chuckled softly at the picture in front of you. In the picture was you and Harry when you guys were little. His hair was an absolute mess while you had that terrible bowl haircut every girl has had at least once in their life. You guys were chasing each other while your mom and Anne were smiling in the background.

Your mom placed a cup of tea in front of you as she sat across from you. Your mom was staring at you with a hint of sadness in her eyes. You glanced up from the photo album you were going though. You let out a small sigh, “What’s wrong?”

Your mom shrugged her shoulders as she stared at the mug in front of you. “I just always thought one day you guys would end up together.”

You quickly looked away before she continued, “Harry is such a wonderful guy. He’s always taken care of you, him and his family.

You nodded your head sadly in agreement, “That’s why it hurts so much. I wish I were able to love him the way he loves me but I can’t. I’m afraid this ruined our friendship completely.”

I run away when things are good

And never really understood

The way you laid your eyes on me

In ways that no one ever could

Harry let himself into your apartment with the spare key he had. While placing the bags of takeout he brought, he shouted out, “I hope you’re hungry Y/N! I went a little crazy when I saw this new-” You turned the corner with tears in your eyes. Harry immediately walked up to you and wrapped his arms around you, “What’s wrong, love?”

You buried your face into his chest and choked out, “Grayson was cheating on me.” Harry closed his eyes and pulled you tighter against him. You continued, “And she’s absolutely beautiful. No wonder why he got tired of me.”

Harry pulled back from the hug and held you at arm’s length. You were looking up at him with a broken heart and tears in your eyes. He stared at your face intently. “You’re absolutely gorgeous Y/N. Both inside and out. Any, ANY guy would be lucky to be able to call you theirs. Grayson is an idiot for hurting such an amazing girl.”

Your eyes teared up again, but not from sadness this time. They were tearing up that someone thought so highly of you. Harry pulled you back against him, “You’re fucking gorgeous, Y/N.”

And so it seems I broke your heart

My ignorance has struck again

Harry yelled out in frustration and sadness as you ignored another call. He threw his phone across the room and placed his head in his hands as he let out a cry. He didn’t think him telling he loves you would get you so furious. He always thought you guys shared a special connection and deep down, he thought you would have some sort of feelings for him. Never would he have thought you would tell him you didn’t love him. Every time he heard your voicemail when you didn’t pick up, he could feel his heart breaking more and more each time. He could feel you slipping away. At this point he wish he never said anything just so you can be in his life. At this point, he’s afraid he’s ruined everything.

Someone will love you

But someone isn’t me

After two weeks, you finally managed to pick up the phone and call Harry back. You arranged to meet him at the cafe you two loved so much. As you stepped inside, you saw Harry looking down at his mug with his foot tapping anxiously. You let out a sigh as you were about to let him down once again. You slowly made your way over to him, “Hey.”

Harry quickly looked up, “Y/N! I didn’t think you would show up.”

You gave him a slight smile as you sat down across from him. “I arranged for us to meet. Of course I would come.”

Harry was about to reply but he quickly closed his mouth. He was afraid of saying the wrong thing again. You noticed quickly and you could feel your own heart breaking seeing Harry so vulnerable. You reached over and took his hand. “I’m sorry.” you said.

Harry shook his head and gave your hand a squeeze, “I’m sorry for laying that out on you like that.”

You were about to speak before Harry continued, “But that doesn’t change how I feel. I love you, Y/N.” You visibly winced before speaking up, “I don’t think we should be friends anymore, Harry.”

Harry gasped, “No Y/N! This wouldn’t change anything! We can still be-”

You looked down at your lap, “But I don’t love you Harry. And I couldn’t live with myself knowing that if we continue being friends, you’re still pining after me when someone could be loving you the way that you love me. You deserve to be happy.”

Harry let a tear slip from his eye as he squeezed your hand tighter, “I can’t just let go of you, Y/N. You’re my best friend. That means something doesn’t it?”

You looked up at the ceiling as tears blurred your eyes. You looked back at Harry, “Please understand I’m doing this because I’m your best friend.”

thank you guys so much for the kind words! i hope you guys loved this as much as i did writing it! i hope it wasn’t too cliche lol don’t forget to let me know what you guys think/ want me to write next! 

i hate gym class
i hate the locker room, i hate changing around the girls in my class, hate how casually they all can stand around each other in nothing but their bras
i hate the track, i hate the way they run, i hate their shorts and their long legs, the way their hair bounces behind them
but most of all
i hate myself
i hate how i badly i want them
how badly i want a girlfriend
how badly i want to kiss a girl
i hate how i can’t stop thinking about girls
how i can’t stop dreaming about them
how i can’t stop pining for them
and i hate
how i hate myself for this
for what i can’t control
for being gay
i hate hating myself
but i don’t know anything else
the world wants me to burn with shame before i’ll burn in hell
and i’m constantly on fire
—  Anonymous said: could you write about being gay but having a lot of internalised homophobia and feeling ashamed when having crushes on girls or wanting to kiss them etc..
(cc, 2017)

petyrbaelish  asked:

top 5 rhaellas headcanons

i love that it says “rhaellas” headcanons so i could totally just give you headcanons about myself, but i’m gonna go w/ what i think you actually meant

  1. rhaella and bonifer weren’t in love romantically (though she had a crush on him), but they were good friends and he cared about her, so when he heard she was to be married to aerys, he offered to marry her and they could run away, but she refused out of duty.  he spent his life bitter not because he was pining over her, but because he knew this girl he cared about was stuck with her abusive brother forever and he couldn’t stand the thought
  2. that after joanna told her about tywin and how she actually loved him, rhaella would ask tons of questions about what it’s like to be in love.  once she asked what it’s like to be kissed by someone who loves her and joanna leans over and gives her a brief kiss and says “that’s what it’s like to be kissed by someone who loves you” (i just want my baby to have one cheesy cute moment w/ someone she cares about oK)
  3. she feels almost like a surrogate mother to elia when she marries rhaegar, especially because rhaella always wanted a daughter and could never have one.  elia being in KL just make rhaella so happy because she reminds her so much of the unnamed princess
  4. this one is sad but i headcanon that when rhaella gets pregnant with rhaegar she completely rejects the idea and resents the baby (since she’s so young) until rhaegar is actually born
  5. rhaella saved her queen of love and beauty crown for years and years, even when the flowers were dry and brown, just as a reminder that she’d been happy once

ask me my top 5 anything!

boredjodyc  asked:

I've been rereading your perfect fic and thinking about Makkachin POV in Rivals!Verse lol It could be like "who's that guy you're missing? Do you miss him as much as you miss me when you can't see him?" And then after the poodle met Yuuri in Chp 11, "I LOVE HIM TOO PLEASE MAKE HIM STAY" When Viktor showed the photo of Vicchan, the mournful look would mean "Did he leave us for this...?" (1/2)

(2/2) Bonus: when Viktor pined too much- seeing him moping around the flat because of Yuuri’s absence, Makkachin would be like “I SWEAR IF YOU DON’T GET HIM BACK TO US I’D CHOKE MYSELF WITH BUNS THAT I HAVEN’T SEEN YET GDI” (I’m just too heartbroken to think what Makkachin would think after seeing Viktor after Chp 13 :()

Makkachin and Vicchan’s POV’s more like ‘please stay with this other human forever and let me have another cute dog buddy to play with’

Mr. Pines (Stanley Pines x Reader)

Note: This is my first time posting one of my fanfictions online, so here’s an apology ahead of time because it’s not especially interesting, and please excuse grammar mistakes!

It was pretty slow at the Mystery Shack today, with the occasional customer strolling in to take a casual look around. Even so, Stanley Pines still had his employees hard at work. I was stationed at the counter, laying on my arm as my eyes kept watch on the shop. Soos was working on fixing the air conditioner, which Mr. Pines only decided to fix when he was sure that he saw smoke rising from his heated employees.

Hearing a familiar rumble of footsteps, I quickly picked myself back up, straightening out my shirt so I looked like I was actually putting effort into my work. Not that it ever did much good for me, considering that Mr. Pines had security cameras everywhere to watch out for any shoplifters.

Not soon after I fixed myself back up did Mr. Pines walk in, his signature fez on his head and his suit done up.

“Didn’t you almost die of heatstroke?” I ask, raising an eyebrow when I looked him over. Logic was dictating that Mr. Pines should be fried up to hell by now. Mr. Pines gave a scoff, rolling his eyes as his hands went up to fix his fez,

“Yeah, yeah. Gotta look the part, don’t I?” He mumbled, shaking his head slightly before bundling his hands into fists and placing them on his hips, his eyes surveying the shop. Mr. Pines began to rub his chin in thought, before finally bringing his gaze to me, “Wendy still not in?”

The girl hadn’t been in all morning. But to be fair, she was never on time anyway. Wendy was a later than usual today. When I was about to answer, Mr. Pines suddenly cleared his throat, obviously having something else in mind to talk about. “So, kid…” He started slowly, his usual cockyness absent, “Anything interesting happen this morning?”

“What?” I ask, tilting my head in question. This morning? It was a strange question to ask out of the blue. “No-” Mr. Pines’s mouth twitched into a frown at the answer, “-Not that I’d notice anything,” I gave a sheepish laugh, “Why’re you asking?”

I had started my work here at the Mystery Shack over two months ago, and while I knew this whole town was weird, it got all the worse when I was hired. Having to save Mr. Pines’s great niece and nephew from a monster was a real shock. My boss was nice enough, though he wasn’t as warm to me as he was to Soos and Wendy. The first couple weeks of work were different, though I had no idea what changed.

I wasn’t sure why it bugged me so much that I was being treated different. He was just my boss. What did I even do to deserve this treatment? It surely couldn’t be my work effort, considering that Wendy was much more lax than me.

“What? Can’t I ask just to be nice?” Mr. Pines’s gruff voice broke me out of my thoughts, and I looked to him, hoping that he didn’t catch me zoning out.  He apparently didn’t as he stayed silent to wait for my response. “I, uh, just forget I asked anything,” He says, coughing into his fist nervously.

I was afraid to ask, thoughts of him disliking me already running through my head, “Alrighto, Mr. Pines.”

He was already turning around to leave again, though my words got him to visibly flinch. Mr. Pines gave me one last glance behind his back as he scurried out of the shop again, mumbling about how he needed to check storage and see how Soos was doing.

I gave a small hum in thought as I returned to my lazy position at the counter, boredom overtaking me again. Nothing was there to occupy myself from thinking about my conman of a boss. Which this was a problem that I’ve been trying to stop.

Stan Pines was a thief, a scam artist, and a businessman. He once asked me what the difference was between those things.

The guy was obviously not the best role model for me to look up to. That can go without saying. Though to be honest, role model is not the right word I would use to describe my feelings towards him. I wasn’t like Soos, who placed the man as a father figure in his life. I didn’t know what Mr. Pines was to me. But I can say that I really did like him, for whatever strange reason.

What can I say, that old man had a sort of pull on me.

“Jesus crap,” Wendy’s voice strained out, the door of the Mystery Shack opening as she walked through. I couldn’t immediately see where she was, an arrangement of flowers blocking her view as she staggered over to the counter. “You know how hard this thing is to haul all the way over here?” She huffed to me, placing down the vase of flowers near me. Wendy placed her hands behind on her back, twisting until she heard a pop.

“Wow, Wendy,” Was all I could say to her at first, my eyes looking over the vase of flowers, “I knew you were popular with the boys, but this seems a bit fancy, eh?” I was grinning to her, taking my time to slowly walk around the vase so I could see all of its angles.

Wendy gave a small snort, reaching over and patting the vase lazily, “That’s what I thought at first,” She replied, plucking a card out that was in the flowers.

Like there was earlier, both Wendy and I heard a patter of footsteps walking towards us. It was Mr. Pines again, most likely seeing who it was who entered the shop. He opened his mouth to say something to Wendy when he saw her, but no words left, the old man choking on his words as he looked to the flowers that Wendy had brought in.

“Sorry about being late,” Wendy said, the words being rather familiar on her tongue. She gestured to the flowers, “But I had a delivery to make before my brothers destroyed this thing for good.”


Wendy then turned to me, and Mr. Pines was still in a shocked silence as she handed me the card. I turned it over in my hands, the edges new and crisp. Sure enough, it wasn’t Wendy’s name on it. Rather, it was mine.

“From Mr. Mystery?” I had finished the card, my eyes turning to Mr. Pines as I read the words on the card.

He took a sharp intake of breath, his shoulders tense. His eyes were wide and he didn’t release the breath that he had taken in. The poor man looked like he was going to die. But it couldn’t be, could it?

“You got a secret admirer, how sweet is that?” Wendy cut in, not noticing Mr. Pines’s nervous posture.

“Secret admirer?” I couldn’t help but repeat her, my stomach dropping when Wendy came up with a better conclusion than what my mind did on its own.

As I’ve said before, I wasn’t sure about my feelings towards my boss. Now, it was painfully obvious to what they were. I hated myself for realizing, knowing that now I would have a hard time acting normally in front of him now.

“How did you get your hands on that?” Mr. Pines asks, his voice still hoarse like usual, though it sounded accusing of Wendy.

“Dude, this thing was sent to my house. I think whoever this is got our addresses mixed up somehow,” Wendy defended herself and crossed her arms over her chest as she leaned against the counter.

“It was…sent to your house?”

Before anything else could be said, our boss let a drawn out sigh passed his lips, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head softly. Wendy and I looked to each other, unsure of what brought this on.

“Just,” He paused to turn away, looking defeated as he was retreating out of the shop again, “Get back to work and earn me money!” He finished off a bit optimistically, realizing that he was showing off his down mood.


“I’ll be off, Mr. Pines!” I called out as my day of work at the Mystery Shack was ending for that day, walking around the counter with my arms stretched above my head, “Maybe we’ll get more customers tomorrow?” I suggested, hoping to cheer him up from whatever slump he was in. Ever since the whole flower incident, Stan was a lot more…reclusive from me than usual. It had begun to bother me more than it had before now that I finally understood the nature of my feelings towards my boss, and I prayed that I wouldn’t start to act any different because of this realization. Why did I have to like HIM of all people? I’m sure that Gravity Falls didn’t have THAT small of a dating pool.

Usually Stan would come on out to count the money that we had made that day, and it gave me a bit of relief when he still came out today to continue the tradition. His eyes turned to the flowers that had been sitting on the counter all day and only gave a scoff to it before he turned to the register.  

“Some nice flowers, aren’t they?” I asked and gently patted the case, smiling softly at Stan who didn’t even look up from the cash in his hands. “They must have cost a lot, and the vase is nice looking too. Whoever sent these were nice enough to send my favorite flowers, don’t you think?” I continued on with my examinations, touching the delicate petals that were grown to beautiful perfection. I wanted to say more but the horrible thought that I was bothering Stan had begun to gnaw at me. I looked to Stan to see if he’d changed in any way.

His eyes were narrowed as he was looking down to the day’s earnings, thumbing through it as the counted. He looked like he was concentrating so I thought that maybe he didn’t hear me or he was ignoring me. Probably the latter.

I sighed and wrapped my hands around the vase and pulled it from the counter, placing on hand underneath it to help support the weight. I turned towards the door with a quick glance to Stan, hoping that he didn’t notice that I kept looking to him. I suppose I should just accept that he didn’t like me as well as I would have liked. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mr. Pi-”

“Stan,” He suddenly pitched in behind me and I could hear him move around the counter to walk to me.  


“Call me Stan. Everyone else does, so  don’t know why you’re always talking to me so formally,” He explained and walked passed me, flashing me a look that suggested that he didn’t understand the confusion that I had shown. “Be seeing you, kid,” Stan said as he opened up the door for me, his eyes to the floor and a hand on his hip.  

I didn’t know what had suddenly brought this on, but this new change made my chest tingle happily and I felt the weight of worry that I had began to feel go away. “Thank you, Stan,” I smiled to him before walking out with the vase clenched close to my chest. Today was a good day.

Stan had stayed at the door until he saw you get into your car and his lips were pulled into a smile as he waved your car goodbye as it disappeared behind the trees. When you were out of sight his expression fell and he sighed heavily, arms dropped to his sides as he turned and slowly walked back to the counter. He groaned and covered his eyes with his hand to hide his embarrassment despite being the only one at the shop. “I think my memory is finally turning to shit.”

He couldn’t believe that he made the mistake in sending the flowers to Wendy’s address instead of yours. Most employers would have some sort of form that they would have their employees fill out before hiring them, but not Stan Pines. He didn’t like the idea of filling them out and decided that he wouldn’t need them for his own business and took to just remembering little details like addresses.  

This wouldn’t have even happened if Mabel didn’t talk him into getting you flowers. His great niece didn’t know who he was asking advice for, but she did know that her Grunkle had an eye for someone here in Gravity Falls. Stan didn’t like her even knowing THAT much. What was so wrong with his idea anyway? He figured that he could have just let you pick something out from the gift shop and have it for FREE. It worked on the kids the first month that they got here, so he figured you’d enjoy the gesture too. But of course, Mabel the “love expert” knew better and told him to go with her plan of buying flowers.  

“I think I’m getting too old for this sort of thing,” Stan grumbled as he rubbed the sides of his face tiredly. “Well, at least something came out of this.”

And something did. He had managed to get on a first name basis with you which was a step in the right direction. It felt odd for him to be called “Mr.” by somebody that he liked while everybody else that he tolerated was content with calling him Stan.  

What Mr. Mystery didn’t know was that today was quite the discovery for you.

BillDip Week, Day 6: Pirates/Sirens AU

Ok this AU captured me and I love to get to obsession, but the truth … I had no idea for this day, well, yes, and it is this, but I think many are writing about this topic. … ARGH !!!! Ok, try this fluffy, it is a challenge to boost me myself … maybe I throw the Tyrolean, it is much easier … this was getting some smut on my mind …

I feel Bill something OC, but I have headcannon that when you are flirting to him (that headcannon seriously love) is speechless.

Note: There will be some Rev!BillDip (TyroneisRev!Dipper)

Well here we go, should be doing homework right now.


“Pine Tree!”

The blue mermaid turned her head to hear his nickname given by the most intrusive, and creepy creature with psychopathic tendencies.

“Bill, what hap-?” Dipper not finish his question because a pair of arms had caught and strength of the body of the other yellow siren had dragged him, causing both to fall into the nearest reef. Dipper under Bill who would not let go for nothing.

“It is true?”

Dipper note that Bill’s eyes had signs of anger, worry, fear and, jealousy?


“Don’t be silly, Pine Tree.”

Dipper raised an eyebrow.

Everyone is talking about it! Why I had to find out for dirty tongue of someone else?”

“I’m saying I have no idea.”

“Your harmonization with Will!”

Will Cipher, Bill’s younger twin, he was the exact opposite of his brother.

“Of course you were going to end up together, he is kind, gentle, tender, weak sack of algae, Who would not want to be with him?”


“It was obvious that everyone in the reef would be happy.”


“He found his partner, yeah, a great event.”


“But of all people, Why you had to be you?!”


Both sirens were silent, Dipper was trying not to laugh at the childish behavior of Bill, but when he looked so angry and talking incoherently about him and Will, he had to intervene, but was taking it a bit calmer, Bill Cipher was capable of fetching sharks or attack a pirate ship on his own, not that it has gone wrong, even still alive.

Bill Cipher, his world was falling, he loved his brother was his only family, excluding Tad, but when swimming could not help overhearing the conversation between two girls, after all he was always thirsty for knowledge. Knowledge is power.

‘Did you hear about Will Cipher?’

'Yes, everyone is talking about it, I can’t believe, now I had no chance with him.’

'Yes, it is a pity, but they look cute together.’

Together? Did Will had managed to find his mate? Well it’s about time, it is not that he never heard his brother sing, but Will was a crybaby when someone discovered singing.

'Even I can’t believe it.’

Maybe his mate had discovered and had loved so much his song-

'Will Cipher joined with the Pines boy.’

Everything turned gray.

What had said that stupid mermaid?

Will with his Pine Tree?

Bill had wanted to talk to those two silly but they were already gone when his head and mentality returned.

He was going to smash his brother!

But first he had to go talk to Pine Tree.

Bill had swum as far as possible, he knew where his Pine Tree when he wanted to be alone and he’d better be alone.

How long Bill had tried to make Dipper sing? Just to see if he was someone special. But the boy always refused to sing, saying that he had no case.

How the hell Will accomplished what had cost him 23 years of his life?!

For that reason when he saw he could not help jump him. Bill Cipher was known to be a little possessive, but if in fact this would be the last time that he would be alone with Pine Tree… Well they could suck a lemon! Neither dead would allow it!

“When was it? How? So special was? Did he come to this place?”

“Bill keep saying that nonsense and I will finish by the break you mouth to stop talking and listen to me for once in your life!”

Bill loosened his grip on the boy, but not so much that could go Dipper. He had never been that way with Bill before.

It seemed so intimate.

“First, I have nothing to do with Will, I have no idea where you have heard that but it is false. Will achieve harmonization with Tyrone.”

“With your cousin?”

“Bill how you can be so blind, it was obvious that these two had mutual feelings.”

Nope, Bill for the first time in its aquatic life, he did not understand how the baby cry was over linked to the most sadistic of the Pines?

“If Will had not taken the first step, Tyrone would have never known.”

Dipper felt the tension in Bill’s body had calmed down, well, that way he would not have to go that stupid Bay.

“Secondly, I was looking at you, I wanted to tell you.”

“So, you weren’t Will’s mate?”

“Bill, you know very well that not being alone sing, someone is always listening.”

“What a relief.” Bill’s head dropped into Pine Tree’s chest closing his eyes, listening to the Dipper,’s heartbeat smiled, remembering when they met long ago, he had given a heart of shark. And for the first time he saw someone take it.

“Why were you so worried about it?”

Never mind.”

“Of course! You looked like a psycho! I don’t say you are, but you looked crazier than usual, I demand an answer.”

“Come on Pine Tree! You can’t be so blind, why do you think I give all those gifts?”

“You mean all those shark teeth and human flesh?”

“What else could it be? You refused to sing and I do not know how to deal with all that.”

Bill felt a blow to his head, annoying stood up to yell at Dipper, but the boy’s hands took his cheeks.

“Here the fool are you, I don’t need to sing for know who is and will be my mate forever.”

A pair of lips surprised him.

Deliciously Broken

Summary: The reader has a massive crush on Stiles and knows nothing about the supernatural happenings of Beacon Hills. After a brief spat, Stiles goes missing and the Nogitsune visits her. Takes place sometime during Season 3B. Slightly un-canon maybe???

Warnings: creepy Nogitsune Stiles, extreme violence, bodily injury, dead dog, emotional trauma, sexual themes (???)

Note: this is hella dark lol. And pretty long. I don’t really know what happened with this. Should I do a part ii? Hope yall enjoy!

There’s something up with Stiles.

         Okay, obviously he’s always been a little weird, but this is different. This isn’t cute or funny or endearing. This is serious. Bad, even.

         I pick up on it when I approach his Jeep after school. “Hi,” I say cheerily to Stiles and his friends. They were in deep discussion when I came over. “What’s up?”

         “Nothing really,” Scott gives me a half-smile. Then he turns his attention back to Stiles. “I’ll talk to you later, man.” He gives him a meaningful look, and the group disperses.

         Sighing, Stiles hops into his Jeep and turns it on. “Come on, Y/N,” he grumbles.

         Frowning, I slide into the passenger seat and have barely closed the door before he’s rocketing out of the parking lot. Usually he takes more care when driving: one, his father is a cop, and two, his Jeep isn’t exactly brand new. She’s got some age on her, so she doesn’t run all that well.

         But today Stiles doesn’t care. It’s like he wants to get home and away from me as soon as possible.

         I want so badly to ask him what the problem is, but the words don’t make it off my lips. I mean, what would be the point? He’s not going to tell me. It’ll be the same response I’ve gotten for the past two years: “I’m fine.”

         I know that’s a lie. I’ve lived next door to Stiles for as long as I remember. Both of our parents are friends; they were the ones who originally arranged for Stiles to take me to and from school every day. I’ve seen him in his usual state: quirky and goofy and full of sarcasm.

         This isn’t Stiles. These dark circles under his eyes and burdened shoulders aren’t him. And it scares me.

         I decide to try and ask, at least to let him know that I care. “Are you okay?” I ask quietly.

         “Peachy.” He says in a tone that completely contradicts his statement.

         I bite my lip. “Are you sure?”

         “Yeah, totally. I’m great.”

         I twist my lips and resort to staring out the window. “Okay, then.”

         We don’t say much else until he pulls into his driveway. He slams his finger on the locks, reaching across me to shove open my door.

         I stare at him in shock. Why is he in such a rush? Does he really want to get rid of me that bad?


         “I need to go.” He says quickly. “So if you don’t mind…”

         “Of course.” I say stiffly. “Didn’t mean to be such a pain.”

         As I’m hopping out of his Jeep, Stiles says, “Hey Y/N… come on… don’t be like that.”

         I raise an eyebrow. “Like what?”

         “Don’t get all…” He waves his hands around. “There’s just something I have to do.”

         “I understand that. But you don’t have to be rude, Stiles.” I slam the door shut. He leans over to roll the window down to try to keep the conversation going, but I cut him off. Besides, if wherever he has to be is so important, then this conversation can wait, right? “Don’t bother. It looks like it’s going to rain, and it takes you forever to crank that.”

         “Y/N…” he calls through the crack.

         “Goodbye, Stiles.” I turn on my heel and stalk to my house, jamming my key into the lock. I haven’t even made it inside before Stiles has zoomed away, leaving nothing but the stink of burned rubber behind.

         I shut the door firmly and lean my forehead against it, sighing. Mom is working late tonight at the fire station. I would really love to talk to her about this. She’s busy, though, and I don’t want to bother her. I already know what she would say, anyway. “You’re too sensitive when it comes to that boy. Just let it go.”

         Easier said than done. My massive crush on Stiles Stilinski prevents me from being able to take our interactions lightly.

         A frantic whine from the dining room snaps me out of my trance. Crap. I forgot about Bingo. I jog over to my dog’s cage and quickly let him out, whistling for him to follow me to the back yard so I can put him outside.

         I head to my bedroom, turning on lights as I go. I wasn’t lying about the rain. The overcast skies have made two in the afternoon look like six in the evening.

         My backpack tumbles to the floor, along with my coat. I add my shoes to the pile, angrily kicking them off so they bounce off the wall.

         Feelings are so stupid. I hate the mushiness of my heart whenever Stiles so much as looks at me. I hate how tender I am to everything he says. I hate that as soon as he said that he had to go somewhere, I immediately thought of Lydia Martin.

         Everyone knows that he likes her. How could he not? She’s beautiful, kind, smart… the total package. I don’t know how I could ever compete with that – haha, actually, I can’t. At all.

         More than likely he’s hurrying over to her for something. Maybe he and his friends are all going out together.

         I try to shove those jealous thoughts out of my head. It always makes me feel like such a bad person.

         I lay on my bed for several long minutes. What to do, what to do…

         I have the house to myself for most of the evening. Why not put on some music and chill? Have a mini-dance party if I want? Maybe even pamper myself, paint my nails and put on that creamy, too-sweet lotion Mom put in my stocking last Christmas?

         That sounds good. Just the thing to fix up a girl with a troubled heart and a lonely house.

         My iPod is already plugged into the speaker; I just have to hit play. Elvis Presley’s “Blue Christmas” comes on shuffle. I snort. I guess it’s kind of fitting for my mood. And with winter break rapidly approaching and the weather turning drastically cooler and the trees already up in stores, I figure that maybe I do need to get into the almost-holiday spirit.

         I turn the volume on loud so that I can hear it in the shower. I take a nice, long, hot one that stretches to over an hour. I shave and then glide the lotion across my legs. I let Bingo inside and he curls up next to me on the couch. I wear my fluffy robe and eat copious amounts of ice cream and watch a few episodes of my favorite show.

         It’s around eight o’clock at night when some other program comes on the television. I turn the TV off, put away my dirty dishes, put Bingo outside, and head back to my room.

         I decide to wear some sweats and a tank. I pull my hair up into a messy bun. My face has already been cleansed of make-up from the shower, but I still take a wipe to clean off anything left.

         My iPod died while I was watching TV – I forgot to turn it off – so I set it on the charger and pull out my box of nail polish. I decide on a pretty powder pink and get to work.

         I’m just finishing my second coat when the doorbell rings. Blowing gently on my hands, I pad across the wooden floor in my bare feet.

         To my surprise, it’s Sheriff Stilinski. “Is Stiles here?”

         I cross my arms. “No sir.” No need to tell him about the little spat Stiles and I shared earlier. “Why? Is everything okay?”

         He sighs. His voice is tight as he reveals, “I can’t find him anywhere. He’s not picking up his cellphone. I found his Jeep about five miles from here, abandoned. Scott’s not having any luck either.” He runs a hand over his face. “Did he say anything to you earlier?”

         I gnaw on my lower lip. “He just said that he had to be somewhere. He seemed like he was in a hurry.”

         Sheriff Stilinski shakes his head and swears lowly under his breath. Then he glances back up at me and murmurs a brief apology.

         I shake it off. Yes, I’m a little upset with Stiles at the moment, but he’s missing. “Do you want me to help look for him? Or-”

         “No!” He says immediately, eyes wide. I jump slightly at the sudden exclamation. He grimaces at my reaction and tries again, softer this time. “No. Stay home. Make sure all your doors and windows are locked. And if Stiles comes by, call me right away. Don’t even think about letting him in. Don’t even let him see you, okay?”

         I furrow my brow. That kind of seems counter-productive. If Stiles is missing, wouldn’t it be good to bring him inside, some place safe? And anyway, why would he even come here? “But sir-”

         “Please, Y/N.” It’s startling, how intense and grave Sheriff Stilinski’s gaze is, as if something bad were about to happen. “He’ll want to kill me for telling you this, but he cares for you. A lot. And if what I think has happened… then I’m afraid for what that could mean when…” He cuts himself off. “I’m sorry. I’ve probably said too much already. I’m not trying to scare you. I just want you to be careful, you hear me? And listen to what I’m telling you.”

         My head feels like it’s spinning. Stiles… cares for me. His father just told me. My mind struggles to process it – after all, he has a funny way of showing it, and has been pining after Lydia Martin for years – but I force myself to not think about it now. Something bad might’ve happened to Stiles. I need to think logically. I can let me knees turn to jelly later.

         “Okay,” I agree. “Don’t let him in; don’t let him see me; call you.”

         “Yes. Please.” He glances up at the porch light. “Keep that on tonight.”

         “Okay,” I say again. “But…” He waits for me to gather my thoughts. “Is Stiles… okay? Why can’t I let him inside?”

         “Don’t ask questions, please. It’ll just make this more complicated. And I know he doesn’t want you brought into this. He never has. But if something happens tonight, then…” He shakes his head.

         “Brought into what?” I press, as though I didn’t just hear his request for me to not ask questions. “What’s going on? What happened to Stiles?”

         Sheriff Stilinski sighs. “He’s not exactly himself, lately… sometimes. Ah…” He searches for the right word. “He’s become dangerous, under certain circumstances.”

         “I don’t understand.” I deadpan. How could Stiles, scrawny and clumsy and nerdy, be dangerous?

         “That’s his fault. We kept telling him to tell you.”

         “Tell me what?”

         “About-” His radio crackles.

         “Sheriff Stilinski, we have sights on a dark-haired Caucasian male, about seventeen, walking the perimeter of the animal hospital.”


         He sucks in a deep breath before promising to be on his way. “Remember what I told you,” he says. His eyes hold the weight of the world. All I can do is nod and swallow thickly as I watch him jog across the grass and hop into his patrol car. As soon as he turns on the engine, the lights come on. He pulls out of the driveway fast, speeding down the street, leaving only the wail of sirens ringing in my ears.

         Biting my lip, I close the door and turn the lock. Stiles… dangerous? Stiles… liking me? Stiles… missing? It’s too much to think about. My head feels like it’s going to explode.

         Sheriff Stilinski wants me to stay here. There’s nothing I can do, really… hm…

         My cellphone is on the kitchen counter. I swipe it and dial Stiles’ number. Sure, Sheriff Stilinski and his best friend hadn’t been able to reach him, but maybe Stiles wasn’t able to get to the phone at that moment. Then again, if that had been the case, he would call them back as soon as he could…

         At the very least I’ll be able to hear his voice on the awkward voicemail. Yes, I’m mad at him, but most of that has dissipated. Now I feel a looming cloud of worry hovering over my head.

         I bite my lip and scroll through my contacts. I come across Stiles’ as I stroll over to the backdoor. “Bingo!” I call into the night, pressing the phone against my ear. “Come here, boy! Bingo!”

         Nothing. Frowning, I shut the backdoor. Maybe he’s not ready to come inside. It would make me feel better, but I’m not going to force him.

         As I start for my room, still dialing Stiles, music comes from down the hall. I thought my iPod was charging? And since when did I turn my bedroom lights off?

         The Star Wars theme echoes in my dark room. I slap against the wall, heart beat speeding up slightly. What the hell…?

         When I finally hit the light switch, I jump and scream. My phone tumbles to the ground, cracking the screen. Crud. That was brand new! But can you blame me, with what I just walked in on?

         Stiles is sitting on my neatly made bed. His cellphone is sitting beside him. His shoes are severely muddy, jeans streaked with brown too. His skin is paler than usual, standing out against the gray of his hoodie. His eyes are rimmed, like he hasn’t slept in days. Across his lap lays Bingo, sleeping.

         But there’s something different about him, something almost… predatory. It’s in the way he holds his shoulders and stares at me intently, with a half-smile on his face.

         “Stiles,” I gasp. “What – your dad is looking all over for you! What are you doing here? How did you even get in?”

         That creepy little half-smile stretches into a full-blown smirk. “How sweet,” he muses.

         I gape at him. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say?” I shake my head. “I can’t believe you.”


         I jerk my head towards him. “Did you seriously just ask me that? After being so distant these past few weeks, you decide to pop up in my room uninvited while your dad and Scott run around like chickens with their heads cut off looking for you.”

         “Interesting comparison.”

         I cross my arms. “Seriously, how did you get in here?”

         “The backdoor was unlocked.” He strokes Bingo’s fur. “Your dog was very welcoming. I must smell familiar.”

         “Stiles, you know Bingo loves you.”

         “Apparently he did.” In one fluid movement, Stiles shoves Bingo off his lap. My dog falls to the floor with a thud and doesn’t move an inch.

         A startled cry wrestles its way out of my throat. I rush to Bingo’s side immediately, calling his name and shaking him. He doesn’t blink or breathe. I tug his lifeless body into my lap. “What… what did you do?” My voice tremors. “What did you do to my dog?”

         When I turn to glare at Stiles, I see that his eyes are closed and his head is thrown back. “Mmm…” he hums. “You feel deeply.”

         My chin trembles as I run my fingers through my dog’s fur. “Bingo…” I whimper.

         “Don’t fret,” Stiles rises to his full height, towering over me. “There’s much more pain to come.”

         “Wh-what…” I lose it, tears spilling. “Why did you kill my dog?”

         Stiles shrugs. “I couldn’t chance him barking.” He steps closer to me, reaching down to wrap one large hand around my bicep and jerk me to my feet. I let out a small yelp, Bingo tumbling out of my arms and to the floor. I try to pick him up again, but Stiles shoves me. Hard.

         I fly back against my dresser, head smacking against the wood. My jaw drops from the sudden pain as I fall to the floor. My shaking hand comes up to touch the back of my head. My hair is damp. When I pull my fingers away, they’re stained red.

         Stiles saunters over to me, crouching low so that we’re almost nose to nose. “Hurts?”

         I try to nod but my vision spots. “Why did you do that?”

         Suddenly I’m in the air, being thrown across the room. My back hits the wall, smashing through it. Drywall rains down around me. My entire body throbs.

         Stiles comes to stand over me again. There’s a crazy sort of pleasure in his eyes. “Look at you…” he hums. He yanks me out of the wall, letting me slide across my floor. Then he walks around me in a circle. “Poor little Y/N. Your heart is deliciously broken, isn’t it?” He leans down over me. “You love Stiles, but he doesn’t love you.”

         He grabs my hair and pulls me up, tongue licking the blood running down my temple. “Oh…” He shivers, inhaling deeply. “And it must really be killing you, seeing him doing this.”

         I open my mouth to respond, but he chooses that moment to duck his head. He bites down on my shoulder, hard enough to draw blood and a scream. He moans against my skin before chuckling softly. “You are divine to dine on,” he whispers. “So good… so much pain…”

         Then his fist closes around my throat. I gasp for air, hands clawing at his iron grasp but he doesn’t budge. He’s choking me, face flushed from pleasure as he does so, eyes dark and grin prominent.

         Desperately I swing my fist, connecting with his nose. It’s not enough force to break it, but it’s enough to get him to release his hold. I flip onto my stomach and crawl out from underneath him. A strong hand grips my calf and tugs me back, but my other foot kicks out and he lets go again.

         I snatch my phone off the floor before running into the hallway. Sheriff Stilinski’s contact comes up, and I quickly press it. I feel nauseous, dizzy…


         “Please…” I cry, sprinting away from my bedroom. “He’s here, he’s here…”

         “He’s at your house? I thought I told you-”

         “He came in through the backdoor when I was talking to you.” I pant, tearing past the kitchen. Just a little farther. I throw open the front door, stopped in my tracks by a figure in black standing in the way. Yelping, I stumble back. “Please, Sheriff, he-”

         Arms wrap around my waist, pitching me back into a chest. I let out a loud scream, thrashing. My phone clatters to the floor. I can hear the Sheriff yelling on the other end. Stiles brings his heel down on the device, crushing it.

         “Naughty, naughty.” Stiles scolds in my ear, gripping me so tightly I can feel the bruises forming.

         “Please, Stiles.” I sob into his chest as I’m turned around and carried further into the kitchen. “Please stop. You’re hurting me and I’m scared…”

         He sits me down on the edge of the counter, standing between my legs. I’m shuddering hard, doubled over, head resting on his shoulder. My limbs feel heavy; my head feels like it is spinning. I can’t hold myself up properly.

         “There, there…” Large hands roam my back. For a second I believe that maybe I’ve appealed to him, that maybe this nightmare is over. His lips brush across my cheek, nearing my ear. Then he whispers, “You should be scared.”

part ii

these days I speak of myself in the past tense
writing about yesterday knowing tomorrow
is no more than mist crawling toward violet mountains
I think of days when this weather meant you
were not so far away   the light changing
so fast I believe I can see you turning a corner
the rain comes in smelling of pine and moss
a kind of brazen intrusion on the careful seeds of spring
I pay more attention to details these days
saving the most trivial until I sort them for trash
or recycle   a luxury I’ve come to know only recently
you have never been too far from my thoughts
despite the newborn birds and their erratic songs
the way they tilt their heads as if drowsing for the sun
the way they repeat their singular songs
over and over as if wishing for a different outcome
—  “Sometimes the Way it Rains Reminds Me of You,” Colleen J. McElroy

percywinchester27  asked:

3, 11 and 19 ;)

Yes, thank you Ana!

3. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17

Closest book currently is the Hobbit!

“The first we heard of it was a noise like a hurricane coming from the North, and the pine-trees on the Mountain creaking and cracking in the wind.”

11. Do you believe in Karma?

Yes, I do. I believe in doing the right thing as much as possible, and that you get what’s coming to you, good or bad.

19. What’s your biggest ‘what if’?

Hmmm… I think right now, I wonder what would have happened if I’d followed a different path when I left high school. There were a lot of choices I made because of one person, and I think a lot about what might have happened if I’d chosen for myself.

Ask Me Unique Questions!

I do not smile because these teeth are sharp and I will not stop thinking about how I do not have to keep swallowing myself whole.

I have been sitting still for so long that my body

             has left me. I miss the pine trees most when I 

overstay my welcome 

in my own bed.

Let me lay on you. Let me press

                                                    myself into your pressure

points until you realize how heavy I really am.

                   When I am not depressed, do I 

                  still look like myself? 

I will never know the answer

but I will scrub the calluses

                   under my eyes and behind my ears

until I feel less swollen. When I am capable of

                            love, I will not admit it to myself. I will digest

self-pity and congratulate myself for another day of namelessness.

So I was re-watching ‘Carpet Diem’ and noticed this

Stan picking up a pair of glasses, and hiding them in his jacket. Later on we see this


Conclusion: They were his brothers glasses, and I made myself sad.

What Tomorrow Brings (part 2) - Riarkle

PART 2 of 4 ^^

Rated T.

The morning went by a lot faster then Riley would have liked it to before she knew it her , and Farkle had to start getting ready for the wedding. Riley was curious why they had gotten ready alone , but she didn’t ask not wanting to ruin the the extra time. Earlier they had made french toast together , and For awhile Riley let her self drift away into the fantasy again. Every smell , Every word , And Every moment of her last breakfast with just her , and Farkle is something she would always remember.

With a smile Farkle walked out of the closet with a  garment bag , and Riley tilted her head while pointing at it “Is that for me?”

“I thought you would like it.” Farkle swallowed nervously “Unless I’m going to wear it.” he chuckled while laying it in the bathroom for her then excused himself to go get ready. Riley laughed before her mind wandered back to the garment bag. Why had Farkle picked her out something for his wedding for her to wear of all things. Being thoroughly confused Riley just shook her head before starting to unzip the garment bag.

Inside the bag was a silk Off the shoulder empire waist dress in a deep purple that cut off right below her knees. Riley couldn’t believe how beautiful It was , and it proved once again how much Farkle knew her. Noticing the time Riley knew it was getting  close to the wedding so she pushed the rest of her thoughts back while putting the dress on.

Farkle knocked lightly on the bathroom door to let her know he was back “How you doing in there? Need any help?” She had just finished Riley came out being instantly distracted by Farkle in a Solid Black single breasted bespoke suit . Riley forgot how to speak  as she stared at him  taking him all in. Maybe he had changed a little , but in a good way she thought trying to keep her heart calm.

“I..” Farkle stammered a bit his eyes locked on Riley’s wandering eyes wondering what she was thinking. “I..um..You look beautiful Riley” Getting the words out he stuck his hand out for Riley’s while finally getting the rest of his words out  . “That dress makes me remember the one regret I have when I think of our years together” Riley put her hand in his her heart caught in her throat , but her whole focus on what he was saying. “That I never got to slow dance with you so would you give me the honor of being my last dance before my wedding?” She watched as Farkle used his free hand to push play on a stereo close by the song Without you by ashes Remain started to come through the speakers. “Always” Riley had to gulp to make sure she kept her wits about her wanting to say so much more then she would allow herself.

With a huge grin on his face Farkle gently pulled her closer as they started to dance around the wooden floor. Only the sound of the music , and Farkle whose face was next to Riley’s ear as he started to hum to song filling the silence of the cabin. The words to the song starting to occupy Riley’s thoughts making the voice inside of her head less compliant. Getting lost in how great this moment was , and how perfect she felt dancing with Farkle after all the pain she had been feeling.

Riley buried her head in his chest “I shouldn’t of fallen for you” the words Riley had been hiding for years came out before she even knew what she was saying.  Hoping it was too muffled for Farkle to make it all out she just kept dancing with him. Without missing a beat Farkle squeezed her hand before speaking in almost a whisper. “I never stopped.”

Full of shock wondering if she was imagining what she heard in her head , but Riley couldn’t just let it slip by.  Riley let him go pulling back too look at him ,and he was already looking at her. Their eyes were locked on each other both of them stopped in place . Both of them questioning what had just happen between them. Finally Riley reached out for his face about to speak when someone called out  behind the cabin door. “It’s time to go come on you two!” Zay’s voice yelled through the door. “I am the best man , and damn it I will be the best at it so lets go”

Farkle leaned over giving Riley a kiss on the cheek “I’m sorry” he whispered against her skin then he opened the door giving her once last glance. Riley put on her I swear I’m okay smile , and followed in suit Zay giving her a questioning look , but remained quiet as well.

Riley felt numb knowing the I’m sorry meant that Farkle had said something. Which also meant that even though he could still feel something for her it didn’t matter anymore Farkle had chosen Kaitlyn. Feeling overwhelmed Riley knew she couldn’t watch the love of her life get married , and had to leave to save herself she felt broken enough already.

“Everything okay man?” Zay asked Farkle sensing something in the air between him ,and Riley. Farkle put his hands his pockets while turning his head to peek at Riley again then back to Zay “Yep everything is fine” Farkle answered flatly , and Zay wasn’t fully convinced  but be had to go take his spot so he just nodded at Farkle then made his way down the aisle. The glance made Riley’s heart drop , and the answer to Zay’s question helped her make her decision. Riley knew it was time to go, and she had to let Farkle go.

Having a feeling Riley needed him Farkle tried to keep himself from going to her, knowing this was not the time. He looked up midway down the aisle  to see he was already walking quickly towards her. His body moving towards Riley almost magnetically. He passed Kaitlyn, the reason he was even here, and gave her an apologetic look while stepping past her. His only motivation right now, was Riley. Kaitlyn kept her eyes on the two wondering what was going on though she didn’t seem angry ,or anything just curious.

An arm grabbed Riley’s elbow as she whipped around quickly about to tell him to let her go until her eyes meant his. Farkle appeared to be on the edge of tears not something he often did or at all so Riley chose to swallow those words letting Farkle speak.

“I can’t let you go without telling you this” Farkle stepped up closer their faces less then an inch a part. “I did love you Riley for so long. Right now with you being here I know I still do , But I can’t take the chance of being in love with you again” The whole wedding party was turned around watching the exchange at this point  though they couldn’t hear it , and Kaitlyn seemed not even be surprised at what was going on. “but please stay I want you here” Farkle pleaded.

Riley tensed up with her next words knowing that this was going to hurt “I am in love with you..But I’m letting you go. I didn’t expect anything out of this . I didn’t come here to get you to run away with me , and I’m sorry I let it slip out how I feel. I just want you happy , and I know Kaitlyn will do that. So don’t worry about me okay . Go get married . Go be happy . I’ll always be here for you.” Riley reached placing her hand on his cheek wiping his tear away that escaped then let go . With that Riley turned around , and forced herself to keep walking no matter how much she really wanted to ask him to pick her.

Frozen in place for at least two minutes Farkle watched Riley walk away until she was out of view. All of sudden he remembered about his wedding. Farkle shook his head trying to Focus back on Kaitlyn , but when he turned around she was already there . Farkle gave her the best smile he could muster. “How much of that did you hear? Whatever you heard I do l..”

Kaitlyn cut him off placing her finger on his lip to quiet him “I know you love me , and I love you too. We would be happy that I don’t doubt. It’s just when you used talk about Riley I could never put my finger on what was different when you spoke about her , but after seeing that I know now. You , and her have something that we can’t ever live up too.” Kaitlyn gave him a smile trying to not show to much pain knowing how Farkle would feel. “Yes I’ll be sad , but Riley is the true love of your life so I refuse be the woman who makes it where you don’t get to have that. You are wonderful Farkle , and you deserve to go after her. If you have the chance to be with your soulmate, and you ignore it, you are too stupid for me to marry anyway” Kaitlyn kissed his cheek softly before giving him a stern look. “And you better call me to tell me how it goes.”

Zay had walked up at this point with Smackle they are hand in hand as they watch the exchange. Farkle starts to undo tie feeling stifled his mind exploding from too much going on “How can I be so wonderful if I’m here  on what is suppose to be our wedding day  messing everything up. All because I can’t control my emotions when Riley comes around.  I had myself convinced that I was finally over the pull Riley has always had over me . I do love you Kaitlyn , and I’m sorry you love me. You deserve someone better then a guy who is still pining after the fantasy.” Farkle threw the tie on the ground then put his eyes on Kaitlyn again who appeared to be worried about Farkle . “I know you want me to go after Riley , but you never get the fantasy  you just think about it all the time even if you are madly in love with them.” Farkle breath hitched when the final words came out making him start to panic.

“It’s not a fantasy anymore Farkle she’s In love with you too , and I’m forcing you to go now. No more excuses.” Kaitlyn started to push him away from the party Farkle still in shock on how supportive his now ex was being. “Remember when you told me about your first day of high school about the thing Riley said. That is what matters…what matters is you , and her so go find her!”

“You heard the lady! Let’s go…True love awaits.” Zay announced as Smackle grabbed Farkle’s hand starting to drag him away with them.

“Thank you Kaitlyn I owe you won” Farkle yelled up to her , and he really meant he would make sure to do something for her later. “Wait where are we going?” All of sudden it registered he was being dragged by Smackle.

“I have waited far to long to see you get with Riley! I live for a good romance! Also it’s my duty as the best man to make sure your day is the best day so I’m doing my job.” With a huge smile Zay pointed at Smackle. “Also my love has a car so we can catch Riley faster.”

Farkle blinked down at Smackle letting her hand go as he stood their his chest tightening , and his palms felt all clammy “So this is actually happening right? I’m not imagining things. I ran out of my wedding , Riley’s in love with me , and I am about to do the most illogical thing ever , and go after her?”

“Well I mean except you kinda got forced out of your wedding , but details smetails” Zay shrugged at Farkle trying to keep the mood a little light if at all possible.

Farkle wrung his hands a few times then held his hand on his chest breathing in , and out a few times. “You guys I’m scared…I don’t get scared…If I actually go do you realize I’m throwing everything I’ve worked on to move on with my life out the window. That I’ll be back to the guy putting his heart on the line ,and if she says no I’ll be right back to where I was when we were in high school.”

With a huge yank Smackle made him bump into the car making sure to get his attention. “Let me speak in language you might understand a little better from even a logical stand point if you don’t do this you are losing the chance at the one thing you always wanted. So in the end going for it is better then knowing you could of , and you never did. Do you want to be driven to madness?” Smackle then open the drivers door getting in the car as Zay couldn’t help but laugh. “Damn…I love her” He then patted the top of the car while speaking to Farkle. “So what do you say?”

With a look of determination ,and fear Farkle had finally made his choice “Okay let’s go find Riley!” Taking in a deep breath he got into the car as all the feelings he had been suppressing started to emerge. This was going to be a very long car ride.

I’m so tired of waking up every morning feeling incomplete because you’re not in my life anymore - because I’m not incomplete. I am complete. But when someone gives you something and then rips it away from you, you will feel incomplete. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

I’m so tired of trying to analyze where it went wrong and why it went wrong and all of that. Although it’s important to learn from your mistakes, I’m only trying to find this out so that I can change it and fix it. When I should really just be accepting it and moving on.

And I am so tired of you. This entire thing is so passé, so four months ago, and yet I’m still pining away about it. I’m tired of it. I want to pick out my clothes without thinking if you’d like them and stop looking on your social media accounts. In fact, I think I will. Because I’m so damn exhausted.

—  Exhausted // lily rose.

anonymous asked:

Christian! I have a question. Do you like living in Seattle? I plan on living there when I am older but sometimes I think it'd be too cold. Do you think it's toooooo cold or just enough??

Seattle is one of the best cities in the world!!! I’ve been a lot of places and I always find myself wanting to come back here!! Even when I was in London I missed it so much. Everyone is different though and it’s all about what u like! It gets cold but not too cold. I like cold and dark days personally. It’s very nice in the summer and never too hot or humid!! It is very open and there are a lot of pine trees and lakes. The air is rly pure. I like the towns  and more desolate areas of Washington more than the actual city of Seattle tbh. The colors it reminds of me of are light purple and blue. It’s nice to see foggy mountains wherever u go. There are small coffee shops and breakfast places all around that are cool. If ur ever in Washington I recommend u go to the Family Pancake House and get the swedish pancakes. I have a lot of memories associated with the places around me as well and I think that makes u attached more. The memories here are warmer. The northwest is just a great place in general. That’s just my opinion though. A lot of ppl love Southern California and sunny beaches but I absolutely hate it there. I like houses here especially when they are built out of wood. I have this strange feeling in the houses. Eventually I want to move to Salem, Massachusetts bc it’s my favourite city although I’ve never actually been there