when i read it i just had to

One of my favourite things right now is going into the tags to see people who are upset at people like Mark and Jack, simply for playing Dream Daddy. It’s funny, because I saw assumptions that “oh they’d just make fun of the game blah blah blah” when that is FAR from the truth.

Mark made his character‘s deceased spouse his husband, when he had the option to have them be his wife, and Jack made his character a transman. (It may have been an accident, because people haven’t read that it was a binder, but Jack isn’t hateful towards trans people and they are very well welcomed into his community as he has said many times. I doubt he’d be mad that he made his character trans, assuming it was on accident) You’d think, “ohhh it’s just a joke, they are making fun of us!!” No. They aren’t.

The thing is, they aren’t making fun of anything. They are having a genuinely good time and it shows! The sad thing is, people are just assuming they are taking the piss and haven’t even watched the videos. 

I’m a bi transguy and I fucking love the fuck out of both of their letsplays. It’s lovely and extremely heartwarming the way they have responded to it. The fact that people will dismiss that because of their biases without even watching is sad. It’s going well my dudes. <3

Nature Vs Nurture Vs Darkness

Request ~  So I kinda had a pretty bad argument with my mom, if you want to call it that, could you do something where any or if all the dark YouTubers just overhear readers mom belittling them and then see the after affects of what the reader does when they’re ‘alone’?


Ever since I’ve started investing more of my time to Tumblr I’ve been hearing about this kind of situation a lot more often. To all of you that struggle and persevere through these type of hardships I want you to know that you’re not alone. That one person who should be caring for you but is instead destroying who are you as a person, is not family. Blood does not decide family. You decide who is family and who’s words should mean the most. I hope this can offer you some form of comfort.

Originally posted by thisridiculousbeautifulsitcom

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BTS - Reaction - Army Love

miahklee said: Hey~~ Could you do a BTS reaction when they meet for the first time after two years in the army with their crush, who still single and in love with them. They had forbidden themselves to have something with her because of the enlistment, but now that it already happened, they realise both still in love with each other (I was so specific, I’m sorry, I just read a fanfic that it happens and I thought how would they react)

So, it’s Y/N and BTS meeting after 2 years in the army, but they still have feelings for each other, yet they’re conflicted about being together? … This’ll defiantly be a unique reaction you won’t see elsewhere… probably.


Meeting after ‘lights out’ was called, the two of you found each other under the obsidian sky of golden stars under a glorious oak tree.

Yoongi: “Every rational and reasonable bone in my body is telling me that meeting like this at night is a terrible idea, but I couldn’t help myself from you…” Lacing his fingers into your grasp, he brought your hand to his face, letting his lips rest upon it for a moment before letting it go again.

Yoongi: “Who gives a damn where we go from here, I just want to stop running away from what scares me… and not being able to love you terrifies me.”

Y/N: “Does that mean-”

Yoongi: “I don’t know what it means, if you’re hoping that we’ll be together after all this is over, I don’t know…”

Y/N: “Not being with you scares me too…” Pulling you tightly into his arms, silence fell once more upon the world around you, the only thing you heard being Yoongi’s sombre heart being.

Yoongi: “Just… don’t go yet… please…”

Originally posted by mn-yg


Jungkook knew that if you were going to talk about this, you needed to talk about it properly in private. It was getting later into the evening, so Jungkook pulled you into some random unused room where he was certain no one would both you.

Jungkook: “I don’t know what we’ll do… I don’t really know what to do about my feelings since I’ve never really love someone like how I love you…”

Y/N: “Can we just stay like this together for a while, until we figure it all out?”

Jungkook: “I just want to be close to you… May I please do that?” Wordlessly, he pulled you in for a kiss, laying you down so your back was on the table in one seamless motion.

Jungkook: “I can’t guarantee what it will be in the future, but every part of me wants it to be a ‘yes’ for now… even my lips want to say yes, but I’ll let them speak for themselves…~”

Originally posted by pkjjm

Rap Monster

Indefinitely, Namjoon was extremely conflicted about the whole situation. Despite being the leader of BTS, his leadership instincts to make the right choice seemingly refused to help him. Pulling you aside and away from the crowd, you two had a sincere heart to heart.

Namjoon: “I don’t know what the right answer is… what should I say?”

Y/N: “I… I don’t know…”

Namjoon: “Maybe, would a kiss help me to figure it all out? Or would it make me fall deeper?”

Y/N: “There’s only one way to find out.” With dashes of hesitance mixed somehow with desperation, Namjoon captured your lips in a beautiful kiss, a kiss which elevated your souls to joyous heights. The sudden cold absence of his lips brought you back to reality.

Namjoon: “I don’t know about you, but I only fell for you harder after that, perhaps another kiss would help shed some light?” Hitting his arm lightly, you laughed at him, yet didn’t stop him from continuing his passionate attack upon your lips.

Originally posted by jjeonguk


Holding onto his sentimentality throughout the entire conversation, the little private chat you were having was slowly and surely driving him over the emotional edge.

Hoseok: “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel, after telling ourselves that it would be a stupid idea, how the hell am I supposed to know what to do?!” You knew that this wasn’t Hoseok talking, only the rage which had taken a hold of him in the midst of a tense moment.

Y/N: “I-I don’t know what to do either… I still love you after all…” It was this confession that visibly shook him, the tense fire in his eyes simmering down.

Hoseok: “… I know. I love you too, and I’m sorry for yelling. Can we just talk this over?” Letting him lay a kiss on your forehead, you hummed in agreement.

Originally posted by notjhope


The precious smile that once belonged to Tae was torn away by a look of solemn discord.

Taehyung: “I didn’t think I could hurt the way I did after losing you, all because I was a hopelessly shy moron.”

Y/N: “Don’t say that, it not your fault-”

Taehyung: “Of course it’s my fault! What if someone had come along and charmed you so you’d forget me?”

Y/N: “How the hell could I ever forget you? I love you, and don’t you forget it!” You said leaning forward, half serious and half jokingly.

Taehyung: “Please, just give me the chance to love you, I swear I’ll give you my heart and soul through thick and thin!”

Originally posted by donewithjeon


After you two were assigned to clean up duty after dinner, completely alone, Jin felt it was best to bring it up now whilst he could.

Jin: “Did you ever think of me? Y’know, in those two years?”

Y/N: “I think I lost count at some point, but I didn’t know how to reach you back then, physically or emotionally.” A stiff silence fell between the two of you, the only movement being that of the dishes in the sink. By this point, Jin had finished his set, leaving you with at least half of your original load left. Unknowingly sighing out loud, your moment became as immobile as the tense atmosphere present between you two. That was, until, you felt Jin shift from beside you to stand directly behind your body, his arms wrapping around your waist in one swift movement.

Jin: “Who says you can’t reach me now? I certainly didn’t. Now, do you need some help with these dishes?”

Originally posted by blackandwhitebangtan


Jimin: “It’s been so long… where do I even start?” The pair of you had spent practically the entire day catching up with each other, so much so that it was getting somewhat late into the evening. Running out of conversational topics, the chatter soon faded away, neither of you sure how to bring up the burning issue that had been planning you ever since you laid eyes upon each other again. Eventually, he broke the silence.

Jimin: “What does the mean for us then… are we… do you still…”

Y/N: “Of course I still love you, if anything, it’s gotten stronger… Hey now, don’t cry; if you cry, I’ll start crying, p-please don’t cry…” Neither of you could help it as this point as the sorrowful atmosphere grew.

Jimin: “I just feel like an idiot for making you feel like this, all this time, we loved each other-”

Y/N: “That’s only because we’d forbidden ourselves from having something, but now-”

Jimin: “Now we can have everything we always wanted, whatcha say?”

Originally posted by jimiyoong

My inbox is open!~


Reactions + Scenarios

  • Suggestive content is allowed, but if you want full blown smut, I won’t
  • No dark / disturbing or hurtful topics, we don’t want anyone getting triggered
  • Light / comical violence is okay
  • The only groups I will write for are BTS and Seventeen
  • If not specified, I will assume that Y/N is always dating the member[s] of whom the request was made for
  • Be decently specific with what you want, details are your friend
One Hundred Ways to Say ‘I love you’ - 9. “I saved a piece for you.”

This was a prompt from the amazing @justkillingtimewhileiwait . Sorry it took so long to write and post, but thank you so much for getting me started. Hoping to get your next prompt done soon :)

Thank you to everyone who is reading too! Please let me know what you think, and if you have any prompts of this list you’d like me to write, just message me!

This was all Jay’s fault. It was usually him who ended up in large bodies of water when chasing after a suspect, so evidently, it had rubbed off on her. He had once told her that she had made him a better cop, and after that morning, she was definitely going to let him know that he made her a much more impulsive one.

Erin also blamed the fact that they had been split up that morning on Jay too, Hank having partnered her with Antonio whilst her boyfriend was sent out with Atwater. There had been no explanation as to why, and there definitely hadn’t been anything personal coming into work to mess with the dynamics. It was probably just Hank’s way of keeping them on their toes and making sure they worked well as a team, but as Erin peeled off the sopping wet layers off her body in the female shower room back at the precinct, she blamed Jay a little. God knows he didn’t have to do much to rile up their boss on the wrong day. For someone who was so adamant about keeping personal and professional apart, Hank sure sucked at it.

The steam rising from the shower began to warm her before Erin had gotten the last layers off. It was a mild October day, meaning that she had shrugged on a cardigan under her light jacket before heading out with Antonio to locate a perp. Not much of her remained dry after tackling the teen into the waters of Lake Michigan, even if they had been by the shore. The icy waters had penetrated far more than just her clothes, and as she left them all in one heap on the floor, Erin simply hoped the slightly scalding shower would chase away the cold that had seemed to have seeped into her bones.

She wasn’t sure how long she had stood under the spray for before there was a knock on the door, barely audible over the pounding water. But Jay’s voice rang loud and clear.

“Er? You in there?” he asked softly, and she could hear the door rattle as he tried the handle. Unfortunately for him, she had locked it out of habit. They were at work, after all, and the 21st employed more than just the two of them.

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crackedhighhat  asked:

Hii!! If you're requests are open and im not just reading it wrong may I request a reaper x (f)reader [soulmates] fluff turned sin? [Your soulmate has a tattoo and so do you and when you meet it turns their favorite color] Reaper confessing that he has had a crush on talons best sniper next to widow. When they meet at the recall its all cute then later on they do the frick frack then after cuddles? Sorry if its so specific and thank you so much!! I love your work.

I hope you don’t mind me writing you a headcanon/point form format! I should probably add that disclaimer somewhere ^^; I’m sorry if you were looking for a more long-form kinda thing. I do hope this works for you.

  • Let’s go off the assumption that you’ve had this tattoo for as long as you can remember, with the knowledge that it will glow when you’ve found your soulmate
  • Suffice to say, you’ve never seen it glow with every person that you’ve met, and now that you’re getting up there in age you’ve more or less given up on the idea of finding love
  • When you met Reaper as a traveling mercenary that eventually was brought into Talon, nothing happened
  • Like granted the first time you saw him take his mask off you were taken aback by how attractive he was, and over the course of many missions you were at the very least somewhat physically attracted to him
  • But it took even longer, and many more times where you both routinely saved each other’s lives that you really started to feel something, regardless as to whether or not your tattoo would glow
  • The moment you had your love epiphany though, you saw your tattoo gleam as bright as day
  • And instead of rushing to confess your feelings you immediately felt ashamed- not only was what you were feeling grossly unprofessional, someone like Reaper, troubled as he was, would never be able to fully return your feelings
  • The way he was, he’d never care for you in that way. He was too much a consummate professional that fought for what he wanted, and while he was close with his comrades he had no real desire to be romantically linked with anyone.
  • You didn’t realize however that in life, he held da similar mark, and he felt an intense rush upon meeting you. A rush he never knew he was even capable of having.
  • You put those feelings aside, and left Talon, knowing that you couldn’t be useful to them anymore if you felt the way you did. Talon was not like any other military organization- it was fueled entirely by its ideals and the necessity of mercilessness. How could an amazing sniper like you let their judgment get clouded by personal feelings? It was a personal failing on your part, and Talon’s leadership like Doomfist would have condemned you for life if that were the case
  • You traveled and fought in battles during that long stint away from your former comrades. They never seemed to actively, maliciously act against you, and you missed them dearly. But it was only right for you to leave what could no longer fit with you.
  • Eventually you caught wind of Overwatch agents coming back, and a reformation of the organization and decided that at the very least you could loan your skills to them
  • You met him by chance again that day, and you felt those same feelings, that intense burn inside of you even though your tattoo was concealed
  • You both got to talking and there was an intense fear in you that you’d never see him again, because of course he would eventually leave Overwatch all over again- why would he want to come back after everything that happened anyway?
  • You admitted finally, that “I’ve known and held on for too long hoping I’ll find you again.” What stuns you is when he gruffly answers back, “Me too.”
  • It’s not gentle.
  • The love is rough, desperate, and needy. The kind that people deprived of expressing themselves for years would have.
  • You cry out, and his body leaves marks on you from the roughness, a desperate attempt to keep what is happening to you both as real as possible, to remind yourselves of where you are
  • When it’s over, he holds you, something unexpected. He touches your tattoo, mumbling distantly, “I had a feeling it would be you.”
  • You chortle and stay near him, “When I knew, it felt right. I wish I was brave enough back then to have come to terms with it.”
  • There’s a long and awkward silence after that, but you’re too tired to care. What sends you peacefully into slumber are his final words, “For what it’s worth, I love you.”


And here’s my Tip Jar if you’d like to support my work (you’re under no obligation to of course!)

Scents Associated with Got7

A/N: I had no idea how to title this and this is the best I could come up with without it sounding creepy lol. ANYWAY…Happy reading! And don’t forget requests are OPEN ;) -Admin Totoro

Mark: Sugar and burning leaves. His sweetness is what made him my first ever bias. He loves and cares for not just his members but pretty much everyone he meets. He can also be mature and manly when he wants to be which adds to the smokiness of his ambiguity.

Jaebum: Soap and fresh cotton. His personality reflects being concise and particular. He holds himself and his members to high standards but he also has a softer underside that shows his appreciation and love. 

Jackson: Salt water and warm sand. You cannot deny that Jackson is one of the warmest members. He doesn’t let any of his stress show even when its overwhelming for him. He keeps the atmosphere relaxed so that one may feel at ease.

JInyoung: Oak and fresh cut grass. His strength is reflected in everything he does and he often lends his strength to others when they don’t have any. He stands tall and firm but also has a gentle side that reminds everyone of home.

Youngjae: Lemon and daisy. He makes everything feel refreshing and light. He always has a way of making people smile and he connects everyone together with the joy and passion he shares with them.

Bambam: Mango and paprika. He has a way of spicing up anything he does whether it be a photo-shoot or just chilling with the other members. Although he goes a little overboard sometimes, he has a very sweet side that no one can ignore.

Yugyeom: Pineapple and birchwood. He is very masculine but at the same time he is so sweet you can hardly stand it. He stands firm on what he believes and he often has a smile to go with it. He always makes sure that everyone is being cared for properly and is not hesitant in voicing his opinion.

anonymous asked:

go kill yourself filthy ugly retarded good for nothing pile of dog shit. Nobody cares what a fucked up sewer rat thinks and do everybody a favor and go fall down a hole, pathetic whiny scumbag.

Listen sweetheart, how about you go do yourself a favor and get that thick stick out of your ass, hm?

I’m a little too busy sucking Jumin’s dick *pretty nice btw* to actually care that much about what you’re saying, but I will say this, this is the most pathetic attempt at anon hate I have ever seen and I can hardly even believe that this isn’t just a joke.

Really? All you can do is insult my appearance when you’ve never even seen me? What are you even talking about, what post of mine did you read that made you SOOO mad that you had to send me this? I pity you, anon. I really do. This does not offend me like..at all, if you wanted me to kill myself then you would have to try a lot harder, okay? Literally, I’ll give you another free shot if you want, cause this was just pitiful. It’s really sad that you have that sad of a life to the point where you have to message people you don’t even know, on anonymous, and insult them in ways that….don’t..make sense? 

Being brutal is nothing, anon. You can bitch and moan and whine and curse all you want but it just sounds ridiculous. It’s honestly funny. I can take that. You just have to make your delivery a little bit better, okay?~ Now run along and go back to crying about your mommy grounding you~ I think somebody’s a wittle too young for the internet…

But, if you are an adult, well..your life is even more sad than I thought.

anonymous asked:

Hey kaz just something I noticed when I read chap 13 or umfb after latest obs; when they're kissing in chater 13 you wrote 'Their last time had been slow, almost lazy, comfortable and easy' but that wasn't their last time as the last time was when yuuri was needy about viktor retiring. Was this just something that got overlooked? I just got confused when I read it and wanted to check with you in case you hadn't noticed :) Latest chapter was amazing!

This was just a mistake, because I had never wrote the second scene before I forgot about it when writing this line, oops! 

“When they ask how you are
don’t say fearful. Narrow your eyes
and kiss your teeth but don’t say
Though I have always preferred poetry to prose, Daley-Ward put forth a remarkable effort at changing my mind. The prose in this collection painted such vivid descriptions of each character that I was left with the same fullness as if I had just read an entire novel. The way she laced her own sense of family and relationships throughout the creation of these works is what gives them such comforting familiarity. I look forward to reading more of her work and seeing what else she has in store as a magical woman of color with a brilliant pen.
—  The Reign XY Art Review: Bone by @yrsadaleyward

pippastrelle  asked:

I just read your book so I'd like to say it's awesome :) You explained all these linguistic features so clearly, I learnt so much. The minimalist in me almost had a heart attack when you mentioned Castithan's writing system was created just before a major sound change ("Why would you make it so difficult to learn?!") but it was really cool seeing how you make these languages so naturalistic. It was a funny book too. Any particular reason you hate onions so much?

The only thing I dislike about onions is their taste, smell, texture, look, and the sound they make as they’re being cooked or handled—and the awful essence they inject into the air, and their outlook on life and politics. Aside from that, onions are okay in my book.

TalesFromYourServer: Who else has a horrible time getting others to do their side work???

I work at a steakhouse and at the end of the night we have back of house side work and front of house side work we have to do before we can leave. We also have to have BOH and FOH signatures to let the manager know we did it before we can get our reading. The back of house is mostly cleaning and breaking down things like expo, teas, coffee, etc. The front of house is just wiping down tables and booths, sweeping, having enough coasters, and silverware. We only have 3-4 tables section so it’s pretty simple and quick.

I have had problems every time when I close front of house with two co-workers in particular. They constantly ask if I can check their side work even when they’re not finished and they know they’re not.

Tonight, the first one asked for a signature and told me she still had to sweep and put silverware on the tables so I said I’ll check once she’s done. She questioned why I wouldn’t trust her doing it, and all I could think about were all the times she never got my signature but the manager didn’t pay attention to that and she left all of her dirty ass section for me to clean and dipped out. That’s why sweetheart. She did leave before doing her back of house tonight cause the closer had to tell her multiple times to finish and just gave up and signed her.

The second girl I actually trained while she was in training. The one day I trained her she was supposed to close FOH with me and lied to the manager and told him I said she could leave when we still had the whole front to close. I thought she had been fired but two weeks later here she is, so she just might have a problem with me snitching on her. She asked for my signature and when I checked her section she had one booth in particular that she needed to sweep under and clean the seats off, and she had no silverware. When I told her to do that and she’d be good it when down like this (new girl is her, me is me).

NG: I swept and cleaned the booths.

Me: ok well there’s still stuff on the booth seat and you need to sweep and that’s it. There’s just a little bit of trash, no biggie.

NG: show me cause I swept and cleaned.

We proceeded to walk over to her section that I had to physically walk with her to! Just sweep! Damn it’s not hard! And I shouldn’t have to show you, you should just listen and do as I ask since I don’t want to have to clean all that at the end of the night. When we got there she said oh I never did this table. Then why the hell did you get all defensive and pissed that I asked you to finish your shit?!? Why did you ask for a signature if you weren’t done?!?

I’m getting real sick of slackers. Especially if the work isn’t a lot, just freaking do it and get it over with.

Sorry it’s so long but thanks for reading :)

By: ashes327

I love myself because…

I was tagged by two wonderful and inspiring darlings @thegreatficmaster and @notnaturalanahi  to post a selfie and enumerate a list of things that make me love myself.

My photo isn’t a selfie and it’s below the cut. This isn’t a list of things that make me love myself, but I think (bias) it’s worth a read:

I’m gonna tell you a story, my dears, so gather round…
I’m not perfect (i know, I can hear you gasping, it’s a shock each morning when I wake up) but I’m happy.
I used to be very insecure and unsure of my body. I guess you could say I was scared in a way. I had just turned 26, moved across the world away from everything I called home and tried to set myself up in England. What was I doing? Shouldn’t I be seeking a partner to settle down with? Shouldn’t I be working my way up the proverbial career ladder?
No - fuck that. It was a dream of mine to move over to the UK and I did it, you know what, it’s okay that it didn’t work back and now I’m back living with my mum with no money at all, trying to negotiate an hourly rate with the company I left.
Again, that’s okay. Cause you know what, I learnt a lot from my 8 months outside my comfort zone. I have come to appreciate my body and mind.
I met new people, I made friends that I now call family. I moved in with 5 strangers who I came to value and respect.
I explored myself (and there’s no shame in talking openly about that). I lost weight and gained weight and lost it, I feel more comfortable in my skin now. I’m not scared of what my body can do, I don’t shy away from doing what feels good, and I don’t feel guilty for indulging in anything that makes me happy.
Here’s what I began to understand; talk to strangers, meet up with people from tumblr, enjoy time by yourself, drinking at 12 is fine (on occasion), spend your money on memories not suitable things, keep searching till you find what you want, don’t settle. More importantly, it’s okay to like photos of yourself, and it’s important to like them. And most importantly, don’t feel guilty for liking them when the person next to you doesn’t like theirs.

I’m coming to love how I am as a human on this earth. I’m in love with the kind of person I’m growing into and I love how I’m getting there.
I haven’t had to fight as hard as others, but it doesn’t mean I am less strong.
Having said that; I admire the strength of those who have struggled with any health issue, be it mental or physical, and I wish them all the strength in the world and hope they continue to fight hard. You provide a certain strength of mind that is not something to ever go ignored.

I don’t love that I’m still single at the other end of 26. I don’t love that I haven’t had a date in almost 9 years. I don’t love that I still live at home. I don’t love that I have no idea what I want to do when I’m older.
But you know what - that doesn’t define me. And I’m learning that that’s okay.
I don’t need to have my life mapped out. I don’t need to be married now, or ever. I don’t need to have a kid now, or ever.
I don’t need to live my life according to what everyone expects of me. Nor do you.
As long as I enjoy what I’m doing, as long as I’m looking after myself and smiling. As long as I am doing what’s right for me… I’ll be okay. And although I’m not in love with me. I love me. And that’s all that matters.

Keep reading

Billy Maier seeing the flaws of Skam’s last season but not really bitching about it, like i wish i had his attitude. 

now i just want him to react to a certain clip of Ep10 and that ridiculous moment of chris+emma that’s supposed to imply that she is the one. but then, people only get this when they read the texts as well. 

i watch Maghrib clip daily next to my other yousana clips(aka all of them) but really the turkey thing i will never get over, next to them making yousef a non-muslim, and the noora kiss, cause really thrown in obstacles that were just that are shit. I could rant about sending yousef off to turkey for years sadly it wouldn’t change anything. 

anonymous asked:

I just read your rant about Ash's post about you and the other people calling her out and as being a big fan of nyd for the past 4 years idk how to feel about this but at the end when you called her sick I had to giggle because in her song she says all of are sick so at least shes knows it haha

When you get so mad that you spend 24 hours ranting and insulting people you’ve blocked simply because they disagree with you, then yup you’re sick. 

A Thought  (DDADDS)


If Joseph has a cult and is a demon and Robert was somehow involved with it does that mean that the scar on his chest was from something that happened.

I know Robert said that he got it from flipping over his bike and hitting a rock, but I dunno it didn’t sit right with me when I read that. I dunno I feel like he walk away with more than that. Not to mention he had a lot of scars on his hand(but he doesn’t say that’s from the accident .

I don’t know if I have something or if I just want to find a way to contribute to this madness. Also is the sign from the cult room made of blood or……

nernershuman  asked:

4, 7, 20 for Jude!

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

I’m not sure that any of this counts as witnessing necessarily but things I experienced that changed me, I have a couple of those. The one I think of first is the times I was bullied & had the shit kicked out of me growing up. I didn’t always tell anyone about it; I guess I was just embarrassed. It made me stronger & taught me how to stand up for myself. The other would be when I read Reid’s suicide note, the one he addressed to me. I saw his handwriting & it instantly hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. I’m not sure anything can prepare someone for something like that.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

Yes, I suppose just being cast aside or not good enough, not cared about by anyone, being alone.. that kind of stuff.

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

I really try not to do that to myself but when my depression is bad, it’s hard not to do it & self-criticize everything. You start thinking everything you do or ever did was wrong & wondering why you can’t be better. Other people seem to be so happy & normal, so why can’t I be like that? But overall, it’s not healthy to compare yourselves to others. I try to talk to Cole or my doctor when the thoughts start. Cole especially is a huge help. He thinks I’m amazing & always makes sure I know that. I’m lucky I have someone who loves me even through my darkest times.

esmeraldablazingsky  asked:

I'm not even in the fandom and when I read the original two parts of that fic I said "fuck" out loud and then breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the third part jfc kedreeva what have you done

I am trying my best, here ok. I was going to just leave it at 2 parts. hell, i DID leave it at 2 parts for like 4 years. Then the other day, I got sad over it. again, because I get sad over that fic a lot (listen to me, if you value your life DO NOT read it while listening to “Marry Me” by Train. DO NOT DO THAT THING you will never recover) even though it was just a little askbox fic from ancient history. and I had this crystal clear image of the third scene and knew I had to fix it. So, like, AT LEAST there is THAT right?? do i get a pass for fixing it at least?? gosh

anonymous asked:

omg, are you and homo_pink twins? you look so similar! just lovely! love the glasses, by the way, i have a similar pair but yours are nicer. need new ones, care to divulge the brand and model or yours? they are really nice. p.s. homo_pink has tiny blue penises on her necklace, tee hee!

i had a fucking conniption when i read this laksdjfalskdfjals omg???? my ladybug is the most beautiful girl in the entire world, and i am nothing but a lovebuzzed, creeping fly who leaves her little bits of dead flesh and blood-lovenotes to get her to notice me. you are the kindest doll in all the world, but no. definitely not twins. i’m a whole foot taller than @homo-pink, to start! ;) (but being her twin would be the most delicious, obsessively incestuous wet dream. we would have our own language and have matching tattoos and try to sew our arms and our thighs together and braid our hair together and sing made-up twinsongs to each other to sleep and know how the other is feeling even from hundreds of miles away and we’d have a witness for every memory and feeling and every drop of nostalgia in both of our dark little souls. we’d also prob be serial killers together. probably.)

i got my glasses from firmoo! miss pink recced clear frames because they don’t completely drown out eye makeup, and i’m in love with mine. (and she was at pride wearing her dick necklace; her regular, everyday dick necklace is much classier ;P)


Phewwwww OKAAAAAY Jesus CHRIST what a day!
I ended up not being able to play Dream Daddy for the most unexpected reason, holy shit!
I’ve just experienced my first ever all day migraine and FUCKING HELL I did not know anything about migraines so I thought I was dying! I thought migraines were just another word for headaches! Seriously just imagine experiencing all of that bullshit WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT WAS HAPPENING OR WHY

Okay, so I was having a pretty good morning and watching some TV in bed to enjoy my new bed and all. Just had some soup. Was reading the Steven universe artbook, kinda laying down on my stomach so I figured I was just getting a crick in my neck cos it was an awkward position to read.
Suddenly my fucking SENSE OF SIGHT deserts me! Words are blurring together on the page, then there’s this thing like an honest to goodness glass crack made of light right across my eyeballs. It won’t go away even when I close my eyes, so its definitely a Brain Thing! And this really trippy thing started happening where the bottom half of my vision started getting like a reflective effect? The bit under the crack looked upside down, that was how insane and hallucinatory it started getting. Just OUT OF NOWHERE! All I could think was that somehow I’d snapped a nerve in my brain by leaning ky head slightly to read this damn book!
So I go stumbling out of the room in a (literal) blind panic, and then suddenly this thunderclap of head pain hits! I had NO IDEA that this was normal for migraines, that vision distortion is quite literally the thunder that tells you you’re gonna have one in ten to twenty minutes. No pain at all until the vision thing starts to ease up, it is SO WEIRD??
And then its not even like normal headache pain, its like.. Well, a crick in the neck gone wrong. Its that feeling of pulling a muscle or a nerve going pins and needles, but ALL OVER YOUR HEAD! It feels like pressure and muscle weakness rather than normal pain, its like you’re being crushed in a car compactor?? Or its like every vein and nerve in your head has swollen up to twice its size, you can practically feel the blood rush trying to explode you from the inside out! It felt like literally my neck was gonna snap under the weight of my own head, for NO REASON and with NO RATIONAL CAUSE! The only thing that wasn’t hurting was the normal rational headache areas!
And then the even qworse part is the nausea and other symptoms in unrelated parts of your body! Cos its like an issue with your nerves tensing rather than regular pain, its like all your energy is funnelled there and you get weak and sick everywhere else. Literally sick. The dizziness is so bad that you can’t stop throwing up, which just leaves you dehydrated and makes everything worse! And through all this I’m still half blind in a blurry haze that’s barely better than before!
And then I started having hot and cold flushes from the dizziness and struggling to resist throwing up, so I just ended up half passing out in the frdge for a while. I was in so much pain I couldn’t even faint properly, I was just left awake enough to feel it but so out of it that I COULD NOT EVEN THINK let alone process any other input. It started progressing from just vision blur to popped ears and no sense of pain anywhere except the migraine. Like, I was slapping a bag of frozen peas on my head and COULD NOT FEEL IT. its not like I was overheated or anything, I felt like I was burning but my forehead felt freezing cold and clammy! I just could not feel the ice against it, until it started numbing the pain. It was like as soon as the pain stopped the ice would be like YIKES TOO MUCH so I couldn’t even hold it there very long. And I tried pinching my arm but everything below my shoulders was going super numb!
So I managed to crawl back into my bedroom and chug some painkillers while I waited for my legs to stop being too weak to stand, and then I was stuck just laying here all day waiting for the pills to kick in. Moving even slightly would cause a giant stab to be added to the dull ache of pain, but the muscle weakness made it really hard to even lie down without shaking! And then I kept freezing and boiling and even moving the blankets slightly made my head start going again and I was STILL TRAPPED INSIDE A DIZZY BLIND HEAD CAGE OF TWINGING VEINS AND DEATH My neck veins felt like violin strings! There were these two super raised ones on the sides of my forehead that hurt the worst, holy shitttt

So yeah that’s how I spent five hours sitting here vaguely browsing tumblr with my one functioning eye and trying yo google any sort of illness that could cause these hell symptoms! I was sooooo fucking relieved to know that these are actually completely normal symptoms of a migraine, which probably happened because of my lack of sleep all week. Also apparently serotonin abnormalities can make it worse, so it was REALLY bad timing that it hit me before I could take my morning antidepressants!
This also totally explains a few weird symptoms ive had during panic attacks in the past. I had a smaller level of the vision thing happen once about five years ago. It was only in my left eye, it started rolling about in my head against my control and seeing nothing but blurs for about ten minutes. I didn’t actually have a migraine then tho, just a sensory overload attack.

Anyway I’m blogging about this in case anyone else is woefully undereducated on how migraines work!
This was ten times worse for me cos I didn’t know anything could even give you this symptoms, and I thought I was dying of a brain disease!
Also, I’m still sitting around feeling awful and tumbleblogging the pain away, wishing I could play my cool new game :P or at least get some sleep to recover from this :P