i was just reading an old journal of mine, and one of the things i talked about the most was how i hated how much i sucked at writing, because it made me feel inadequate and useless. this was when i was 13 or so, and having an incredibly bad life as a severely mentally ill queer kid in a small town with abusive parents, few friends, and a “best friend” that had no qualms about using me however he wanted.
it’s true. my poetry was not something that would win awards, or turn heads. but in retrospect, that wasn’t the point of it.
every poet’s early writing is going to be painful to read–both because it’s unskilled, and because there’s a lot of unhappiness that needs to be bled out before healing can begin. there’s a reason that the stereotype of “depressed teenager who writes terrible poetry” exists.
nobody starts out writing well. nobody. every writer and artist always has a period, no matter how brief, where they spill all their sadness into a lot of cliche art. but? that’s not a bad thing.
writing is a learning curve. there’s no “end goal” for artists–there are always improvements to be made, new styles to try, new muses to delineate. and every writer is continually getting better. all of them! every one! if you’re reading this and you think that your writing is not good, then i have some news for you–maybe other people don’t recognise it, but it is good. it’s necessary. it’s life-changing, for you if not for others.
you will have to start out writing for yourself. writing for others will come later.