when i look at myself i don't like what i see

It’s okay to be slow when you’re making art.

So I kind of wanted to make a post about this.

I know some of you look around, and you see all these artists making such beautiful art in time spans of like an hour or a few hours, and then you look at your work and you get so demoralized because you’re taking so long.

I’m here to tell you that that’s perfectly okay. You’re not other artists. You are you, and your work defines you. If you need to take 10 hours, or even days to complete your art piece, it is okay, because it’s yours. You’re doing your best to make your art what you want it to be, and just because you can’t do it in a few hours like other artists do, it doesn’t make the value of your work any less. In fact, your patience and perseverance is absolutely admirable.

Take your time. You’re using your hands to create something that you love. Don’t let the people around you that you see hinder that in any way. You will definitely get faster in time, but if you give up now, thinking that you’ll always be this slow when you make art, you’ll never reach that stage. This applies not only to art, but also to other skills that you’re trying to pick up.

So look at what you yourself are doing, instead of looking around at others. Don’t worry too much, and enjoy yourself in the process of creation and learning! :)

imakemusicnothate  asked:

On the subject of Fitz and atypical presentations of masculinity, I have a lot of thoughts about his pattern of seeing macho macho men (Ward, Trip, Mack, Will, etc.) and thinking of himself as someone who's never going to be able to live up to that archetype, while not recognizing his own value and heroism because it comes in a different flavor than the physical Adonis variety he idolizes so much (b/c I am also a very small guy and I hella see myself in Fitz and I need to remember this too)

(and Mike!)

Originally posted by meanwhileongiphy

this is why leopold Fitz’s canonical characterization is so important (both to me and in general). 

alec’s death: 6 years after

“Papa, can you tell me that one story again? You know, your first date with dad.”

Magnus smiled sightly. “Our first date,” he said. “Max, you’ve heard that story many times before.”

“I know,” Max looked down, hiding a sad look. “It’s just that you always laugh when you remember it, and I like to see you happy.”

He looked at his son. Was he serious?, he thought. Do I look unhappy?, he asked next.

“I am. I am happy.”

“But you look sad.” the blue-skined boy explained.

“Son,” Magnus started, and the stopped. He smiled sadly at Max, and gestured to him to get in the couch beside him. “My son. Sad doesn’t mean unhappy. I am really happy, you know? I’m so lucky, Max, to have you and your brother in my life. But, today - you know what this day is like. It’s been 6 years since your dad died. And I’m… infinite. We are infinite, my little blueberry.” Max smiled when he heard the nickname - he knew that’s how Magnus called him when he was a baby. “6 years mean nothing to me. And it makes me think that, I’ve had to miss him for 6 eternal years, and I’ll have to miss him another 6 more. And then, 6 more, and 6 more, and more. We’ll have to. And then, one day, we’ll have to miss your brother too. One day… One day it will be just the two of us against the world, son.” he suddenly stopped, and sat straight. “Sorry, I’m making you sad now.”

“Sometimes,” Max started, sitting straight too. “Just sometimes, I wish we weren’t like this. Sometimes, I wish I could go with dad, just a few minutes, and hold him and tell him everything we’ve been doing since he left, and remind him that his spanish is terrible.” Magnus laughed, and Max smiled. He made it. “I miss dad.”

“Oh, I miss your dad, too. How I miss him.”

And they both sat there for a while, talking about Alec. Talking about the beautiful moments they had spent together, remembering when Alec teached them to fight, remembering how over-protective he was with his sons, and his terrible, terrible, but hilarious spanish. Remembering their favorite parts of him: his big, beautiful smile, his loving eyes when he stared at his loved ones. Remembering a father, remembering a love. 

anonymous asked:

Was Daryl on the verge of crying when he saw Carol? It sounded as though he was about to lose it when he asked her "why'd you go?" But I wasn't sure. Why would he have been crying so you think?

pretty sure he was on the verge of crying because I myself started crying when I noticed both of them were almost crying too!!! that was the scene that touched me the most, actually <3

I think he felt that way because he misses her and wishes they weren’t apart. He understands why she’s doing what she’s doing, but that doesn’t mean this situation isn’t breaking his heart. They’ve been part of the same group for years now and aside from rick and carl, she’s someone who’s been with him since the beginning of the ZA…like, she’s part of him at this point. So a part of him goes missing everytime she leaves :((((

imagine steve and bucky escaping to the mountains. no civil war. imagine them canoeing on the lake, nothing but them and the slosh of water around their oars and their boat, the call of the loon distant and echoing. steve turning around every so often, like he still can’t believe that bucky is there, that he’s so lucky. imagine bucky pressing steve against the wall of their cabin, the setting sun shining on them. bucky kissing steve’s noises away, his metal hand gouging holes into the wood. steve laughing when he sees them, and it makes bucky laugh, too, and they kiss and laugh, young again, before stripping completely and running into the lake: bucky first, then steve.

imagine early mornings, frost still on the grass, the edges of the water glinting ice in the sunlight. both of them clad in denim jackets and cozy flannel, drinking steaming coffee with their hands intertwined on the porch railing. bucky looking over at steve and smiling, saying, “i love you,” a little forlorn like he’s making up for the seventy years he couldn’t say it. steve smiling back, setting his coffee down on the railing and cupping bucky’s jaw with his hand. saying, “i love you, too,” the warmth of his palm the warmest bucky’s felt in a long time. steve leaning in to let their noses brush, their lips, before properly kissing him and sliding his fingers into bucky’s hair. imagine steve pinning bucky to the rug on the hearth, clasping their hands together while the fire plays over them, flesh-and-metal, as they move together, unhurried, like the world is theirs.

and maybe it is: maybe time slows down for them, two lovers who could have been star-crossed but sidestepped it. maybe they deserve it, scratchy wool and the omnipresent smell of soot and smoke. imagine the sun rising and the sun setting. imagine neither of them giving a damn about ever going back, hands clasped on the wood, an entire mountain between them and who they were. there was a time when they would have moved those mountains for each other. now they don’t need to.

I look forward to kissing you.

I love the anticipation.
The sweaty palms.
The quivering lips.
The heavy breathing and the wandering hands.

I look forward to pulling you closer.
Feeling your body against mine.
Fitting perfectly together like two pieces of a puzzle.
Like two souls that were meant to be.

I look forward to burying myself in the crevice of your neck.
The way you smell and the way you laugh when my breath tickles.

I look forward to getting lost in your eyes.
Pulling on your hair just to find my way back and getting lost all over again in your smile.

I look forward to the way you look at me.
The same way I look at you.
Filled with love and speechless.

I look forward to the day I see you again.
The day you realize you left the person who loved you most.
The day you leave him and come back to me.

But that’s just wishful thinking.
The result of hopeless romance.
What I really want to say is:

I look forward to the day I’m over you.
The day I can finally be okay.
The day I can say, “I’m good”, and mean it.
The day someone looks at me the way you used to.

—  Wishful Thinking (Looking Forward)
A. T. P.

as a dark skin woman having to be afraid that black men won’t be attracted to me because of my skin tone gets exhausting. always being looked at as lesser than a light skin girl. always subconsciously feeling that someone doesn’t actually want to be with me but they’re just talking to me because I’m what they can get at the time. especially when literally every single guy I’ve ever talked to only has used me to see me naked or wanted to fuck me. it’s like as a dark skin black girl it makes me feel like I can never ACTUALLY be loved by a black man.

@lintmaster1989 showed off this video which got us on the subject of nyaning or whatever the plural is of that and just, my mind goes places so

Aoba being extremely drunk and cutely nyaning at Koujaku, which immediately almost prompts a nosebleed from the hippo and is something that Aoba never lives down, or rather, Koujaku never lets him forget. Koujaku takes it upon himself to nyan seductively into Aoba’s ear every now and then, just to see him blush. 

Aoba commenting that Noiz looks like a cat after coming across him curled up on the sofa directly in the sunlight so Noiz just lifts his head and lazily nyans at him. Aoba goes the brightest shade of red because that was too fucking adorable and Noiz is like OHOHOHO, what is this? And, like the brat he is, just keeps doing it at random times to get a reaction out of Aoba but then, Aoba turns it around on him. When Noiz is least expecting it, Aoba goes full out - like doing the hand motion and everything and gives gives the cutest fucking nyan here. In hindsight, a bad idea since Noiz’s got that switch and when it gets flipped, well, you know

Aoba finding a stray cat and taking it home to give it some food / a bath. Mink comes home and Aoba holds up the little guy like ‘Look it, ain’t he cute?’. The cat meows at Mink. And Mink, out of fucking nowhere, just kind of leans down and softly meows back whilst petting the little thing. Aoba nearly drops the cat in surprise and fluster. Mink doesn’t really understand why Aoba is so flustered but teases him with his new found power anyway. 

Aoba stumbling across a headband with fuzzy cat ears on it while he’s out shopping with Ren and jokingly puts it on Ren, calling him a cute kitty cat. Ren, not really understanding but wanting to play along, tilts his head and with a completely serious expression nyans. Fully unprepared for such a thing, Aoba immediately flushes deep red. Seeing that reaction, Ren gets a mischievous smile on his face, leans forwards and softly nyans directly into Aoba’s ear. Still grinning, Ren leans back, takes off the headband and puts it on Aoba’s head before telling him that he is now a cute kitty cat. Aoba somehow proceeds to blush an even darker shade of red before stammering out a nyan and briskly walking away. Ren suggests buying the headband, Aoba immediately and firmly declines. 

I don’t want high school to end. Or at least the friendships and connections that I’ve made over the past few years. I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t see Kevin everyday and joke with him during band. Or laugh with Kyle for no reason. Or go to the mall with Dean, Erik, Evan, and Eric almost every weekend. Or see Fernando’s stupid smile. Or give Jackie a hug. I’ll even miss Robbie with his crazy, over-enthusiastic ways. I’ve cried myself to sleep over the past few months because of this. Because I know that my best times are behind me. A year ago today, Fernando, Dean, and I were at Disney. What can top that? Being somewhere like that with some of your best friends? How can I look at my future and think “It’s gonna be better. You’ll be okay, it’ll all be better.”? I’ve known some of the kids at school for the past 11 years out of my 16 year existence. I’ve been with them almost daily for the past 11 years. How am I just supposed to be okay with leaving them and probably never talking to them again? I can’t bear the thought of not spending time with Kevin, Kyle, Fernando, Dean, and Erik like this again. But I know that there’s gonna come a time where I won’t get to see them anymore. And I don’t know how I’m going to be able to live with that. This is why I just want to kill myself after graduation. Nothing is ever going to be better than the friends I have now. The experiences I have made with them can never be topped. No new friends that I will make can ever replace them. I don’t want to live in a world that’s different than the way things are now with the people that are closest to me now

Shitty Meta Time w/ ‘Bel: Wilder

So, like the title says, shitty meta time. I would like to point out that I have no idea if someone else has come up with this, and if they have, I apologize. Shout out to Rebekah @softsons​ for making me think a bit more about this than I would have otherwise. TJLCE has helped me to start seeing some things for myself. 

So. Wilder. 

No, no! Not that Wilder! Though he will come back a bit later.

This Wilder. The butler at The Diogenes Club in The Abominable Bride. That alone to me, the seemingly direct homage to Billy, was shocking. But let’s look a little bit closer, shall we? He’s absolutely silent when talking to Holmes and Watson, only communicating through British Sign Language. What this says to me is a reference to the silence the real Wilder was forced into because of the Breen and Johnson Offices while filming TPLOSH. He wanted to make Holmes gay, but couldn’t because of these motion picture codes. (See TJLCE ep. 1 for more.) Also, he was silenced and a bit cowed by the presence of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s son. He wanted to, but legitimately couldn’t. Which leads me to the next part.

Who is the only person Wilder is seen actually speaking to?

Mycroft. (Sorry. I couldn’t resist. I like this picture of the British Government.)

And who plays Mycroft? Our one and only father Mark Gatiss. In an interview back in 2010 with the Guardian, Mark says that this is the film that changed his life. (See Source 12 on TJLCE ep. 1.) This means, to me, at least, that Mark pulled a lot of untapped things from this film. Wilder spoke out loud to him and only him. Which leads me to the end.

The fact that Wilder in TAB is only allowed to speak to Mycroft leads me to believe that Billy Wilder indirectly spoke to Mark Gatiss through TPLOSH. Wilder has been whispering secrets. Secrets of a gay Holmes and the wish to finally, finally have a canon relationship between Sherlock and John. Kind of makes you wonder what other secrets he’s been told that we haven’t picked up on… (Which, really, do you think there’s that many that we haven’t?)

(So yeah, That was my first baby step into meta. It’s probably absolutely disgusting compared to some of the more beautiful things out there. This is just something that has been sitting in the back of my brain since I could really sit down and devour TAB. Anyways, another huge thanks to Rebekah for kinda making this stick in the back of my brain. Xe’s the best. All pictures were found on google through very niche searches. I’m skilled. So I hoped you enjoyed, or something… Feedback much appreciated!)

(Also, sidenote, one of my best friends now ships Johnlock, only after watching episode one. I have achieved my purpose on this earth.)

so, okay, as I was making videos last night, I kept coming back to the scene where Regina tells Emma she needs her; and I know we all focused mostly on what is being said (cause duh… that was pretty monumental), but watching it on a loop, what struck me most was Emma’s reaction. So I found myself replaying it over and over again, because there’s this moment…

Look at Emma. Her head snaps up when Regina says that, and her eyes are frantically searching her face, looking for confirmation of something - that she heard her right, that this is actually happening… in short, Emma’s reaction here is pretty close to Swen’s reaction seeing this for the first time, I’d say. Here it is in slow-mo:

And then, this happens when Regina quickly goes on to say it’s because she needs Emma’s help navigating the real world:

she looks down, like she’s disappointed, and she closes her mouth. As if she had opened it in shock? and swallows, again disappointed, as if telling herself she really should know better by now. She looks so much like a kicked puppy right here, it’s unreal.

I promise this is going somewhere. Because here’s the thing: that look of hope Emma gives Regina is almost exactly the same one that she gives before, when Regina says she’s been there, and Emma is hoping so, so much for someone who understands her, and the pain she’s feeling:

In both cases, she’s hoping for a connection with this woman, but the second time, it’s more obvious, because it’s more personal, and her feelings are so invested in that one little hope that maybe, just maybe, it’s not unrequited after all.

So, what I’m trying to say, if that I’m pretty sure Emma knows. I kept wondering which one would figure it out first, and I was sort of hoping for Regina, but this pretty much tells me: Emma knows she’s in love with Regina. And there’s so much that points to this. 

First of all, Hook has his ship back, and I’m pretty sure he had a room at Granny’s before, so the excuse of them not having sex yet because Emma lives with her whole family is pretty damn flimsy to me. Seems like someone is trying her level best to avoid going there. 

Second, please take a very close look at JMo’s body language when she’s kissing Hook goodbye. It’s not only that the camera pans to Regina, and they separate, Emma is literally keeping her whole body away from Hook, only touching his face. How romantic. 

Thirdly, I present you exhibit a of Emma seeing Regina hug her beard:

She’s got that look that is sort of like ‘at least she’s happy’, and sort of shuffles around. She seriously blinks 3 times in this second, whereas Lily only does so once. It’s almost like she’s trying to convince herself that this is good, this is the right thing to have done, and she should be happy for Regina.

And to finish it off, I went back and started looking at other scenes, and guess what? That one scene we all love to death, Regina is giving her to full-on heart eyes, but also looking a little surprised, like ‘unbelievable, she saved me omg *heart eyes*’, but Emma… Well:

Emma just looks relieved, and so, so happy that Regina is alive. She is in awe of the woman in front of her, but there’s no surprise in how she feels. 

Which does make me wonder, how long has she known for? I may need to go back and rewatch it to figure this out, but yeah. Bottom line: Emma knows.

On leaving behind Lucy.

Yeah, I know. Is there even anything left to be said that has not been said already by now? Probably not, haha.

But I needed to write it out for myself.
(I’m using some of thefairystales’ screencaps, thankyou!) 

I wanted to focus on Natsu and Happy’s actions/feelings in this one.

Those two love Lucy.

They do, and we know it. They enjoy her company, they drag her along on missions, they break into her apartment. It was Natsu who insisted on forming a team with her.

If you really think Natsu felt as nonchalant as he acted about leaving her, then think again.

It hurt us all seeing her in tears, with only a casual letter as an explanation. I too admit that I felt utterly confused, even a little betrayed, when I read it for the first time. Much like her.

But let’s look at this from Natsu’s perspective.

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please understand me. i move slowly, and there are days (weeks, months) when my smile will not quite reach my eyes. please do not count me out. i am still trying… i am still myself, even if i am not the version you wish to see. some days i will be out in the atmosphere, hardly tethered to the earth, but i promise i will return from outer space.

wait for me.
i will show you what the galaxy looks like from the surface of the moon, and you’ll know why i felt safe there, even without you.

—  we’ll be astronauts, we’ll see the stars up close (and i will be happy again)//e.t.

“Smiles make people kind. From there, love shall connect.” - Kis-My-Ft2′s 4th Overture

As I’ve reached a number of followers that I don’t think I’ve ever reached before on this account, I decided that I would appreciate some of you guys. I didn’t expect to hang around much after stepping back into this, but thanks to the affection, care, interest, and support of many of you, I’ve managed to stay around longer than I thought that I would. I hope that many of us can grow even closer, or that we’ll actually talk and form a friendship. I’ll probably miss some people that I wanted to put on this somewhere, but please keep in mind that when you see this, I appreciate you. This isn’t a post for just those that I name. Each of you have a part in this. Who knows, I might even end up tagging some people that I follow, but that aren’t on my followers list. Whatever the case is, thank you for taking the time to make this ride a little more interesting for me.

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His Choice

I don’t know why I just did this. It’s like I wan’t to punish myself or make myself sad. But this popped into my mind after seeing tonight’s promo and it wouldn’t go away. It’s… sad. Like I’m giving myself a dirty look for writing it, but it’s also kind of beautiful.

This takes place the same night Killian says “Why bring me back if I should just move on?”

It hints at what next weeks episode brings, but if you haven’t watched tonight’s, I wouldn’t read it.


Don’t worry, I’m already punishing myself for this… 

“Why bring me back, if I should just move on?”

Emma looks at him with such hurt in her eyes that if he wasn’t already dead, he was sure it would have killed him. A single tear runs down her face, but when he goes to reach for her, she backs away.

Killian stays frozen in his spot as she walks past him without a single word and it feels like she is taking a part of him with her.

“Little brother,” Liam starts but Killian holds up his hand to stop him.

He feels like he’s being torn into two. On one hand, he has his brother, his Liam who died many years before, on the other was Emma. The love of his life, his one true love and he was being forced to choose between them. Move on, and be happy with Liam, or stay and be happy with Emma.

He could feel the tears prickling at his eyes and his body start to shake. The entire time Hades had him, all he thought of was Emma, and here he was considering leaving her again.

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I see what I’ve seen & I know what I’ve read.

I’ve been on board our little (not actually little) ship for about 5-6 months now and sometimes I think that gives me a different perspective. I haven’t lived every moment in real time. I wasn’t crushed by the IFH because I was still learning everything and going back through archives to read/catch up. After having educated myself in SamCait 101 (and frankly, I’m pretty sure I’m moved on to SamCait graduate school given the amount of time I spend on here and Twitter talking about them and the show), I have to say…

I know what I’ve seen and I can’t unsee it. I have seen two people interact in interviews and on red carpets in a physical way that regular friends don’t. Sam guides Cait around events with one hand attached to her. He looks for her and makes sure she’s okay. They are both totally engaged when the other is speaking. That “hearteyes, motherfucker” gif? Totally the best description for the looks on each other’s faces when they watch the other. I have seen Cait walk up to Sam before an event, who stops his conversations to hug her, and then turns around 2-3 times to make sure she’s okay coming after him down the aisle. I have seen Cait hug Sam, kiss him on the neck, and cause him to smile sheepishly at reporters as they “aw” because they just witnessed an intimate moment that they’re not ready to talk about in public. I have seen interviewers stumble over their words with these two – “fffriendships,” when she wanted to say married couple; “when you love someo- something, you want to talk about it”; “oh my gosh, they’re almost identical!” about Cait’s perfect date. And these are just snippets from the last few weeks.

This doesn’t include the pictures of them on a boat together in Costa Rica, of Cait cut out of the frame at a Thanksgiving dinner for just the two of them, of Sam on a beach with Cait cut out of the frame except for some curly auburn hair. Maybe we should talk about those gold rings Cait was wearing in that Christmas video again, when one is clearly a man’s wedding band? Or those matching Instagram pictures of wet, snowy land? Or the way Cait confirms she’s on vacation in Venice and Paris, and they’re literally liking each other’s pictures at the exact same time?

I know what I’ve read and I can’t unread it. How many times has Sam described how their relationship has deepened over the course of making this season? He blurs the lines between character and actor in print more than we ever could. He refers to her as the wife, wifey. He likes shipper tweets and pictures (“when all the cute shipper tweets pop up,” “declare your undying devotion to Caitriona Balfe,” macaroons). One of Cait’s OWN FRIENDS commenting on an Instagram picture with the account name balfe-heughan, “We need to catch up Mrs!” Their own stylists are now tagging pictures of them together and talking about how great it is to work with them and supplying details about their glam, even when they aren’t part of their glam team. Let’s not forget sweet Luke and his “I think Sam would disown me if I commented on that” to people asking if he was hosting a bachelor party for Sam? Pretty sure that was a big comment, Luke.
So for the anons who are getting nervous that hiatus is upon us and we don’t know where Sam and Cait are at all the time – it will be okay! We know what we’ve seen and read. Shipping a real life couple is not easy… and honestly, it won’t get any easier. If/when they decide to go public, the antis will then start rumors about their relationship and infidelity and who knows what else. We just have to be there to love and support them and let them know that it’s okay to take that leap of faith, because we’ve got their backs.

So for me, with all that stuff I just wrote about…and this is just a sampling –> MARRIED. Have a happy Thursday, everyone. :)

I absolutely get that people have various problems with how the show is being written and whatnot, but can we please stop assuming that just because someone doesn’t complain about anything, it means they’re naively buying into everything on offer?

Of course I see problems with the show. It’s not perfect. Nothing is. And of course I understand people’s criticisms, even if I don’t agree. I’m entirely capable of understanding arguments and opinions and people’s feelings. My effort to steer clear of fandom arguments and drama isn’t a dismissal of the people involved, it’s a personal choice that I make for the sake of my happiness.

It’s really very simple. I don’t watch TV in order to find something to complain about or critique, or bemoan what might have been. I take it as it is and look at the bright side. I don’t like complaining about things, especially things I can’t influence (like other people’s stories), because it frustrates me. I do rant about things I don’t like sometimes, but never the same thing over and over. If I don’t like something, I change it, and if I can’t change it, I get away from it. That’s just how I work. And while I did enjoy critique and debate in college, and still do it sometimes (about real-life issues, with some people), it loses ALL of its appeal when I’m doing it with people whose idea of a clever counterargument is to scream that I’m a misogynistic lonely housewife with rape fantasies. No thanks.

TV is like chocolate to me. It’s about enjoyment, not nutritional value. So I’m going to focus on what I enjoy, and ignore the rest. It doesn’t mean I’m not aware of it or lack the ability to understand it. It just means I’m not interested.

Welp. Looks like it’s time to get me a big fat new watermark, as the kids are out and nicking stuff again.

So for those not in the know: my work is not to be used in any way that could be construed as plagiarism. This means no tracing, no re-coloring, no cropping or re-purposing. Using my work for profit is an enormous no. I do not sell licenses to use my work in any way. Please do not even ask me.

Also, please do not use my work for tattoos. It makes me very uncomfortable, and it’s not unreasonable for me to feel that way: if it’s work I’ve done for myself, then it’s intensely personal, and all other works are commissioned by clients. 

In short: The presence of art on the internet does not give you licence to use it however you see fit. Why isn’t this common knowledge yet?