when i decided

reasons why my middle school english teacher is one of the most #iconic people i’ve ever met

  • added me on facebook when i was a junior in high school with the message, “i was wondering if it was okay to add you, and then i was like, eehhhhhh screw it, she’s not my student anymore”
  • when i made a status saying “i used to be a straight a student… now i’m not even straight…” she commented “same”
  • once got an entire class period off-track because she wound up explaining the difference between being trans and being a drag queen to a group of 12 year olds (this was when i decided i liked her)
  • commented “YAS” when i shared the carmilla season 3 trailer
  • had a reputation for being a hardass but let me eat lunch in her classroom when i didn’t have any friends
  • also she wasn’t even really a hardass she just expected people to do the work???
  • an actual conversation we had: “Can I use this book for my book report?” “You’re supposed to use an ‘age-appropriate’ book out of the school library, this is for adults. “*tiny susie groaning*” “I know. It’s a stupid rule. You should be able to read what you want, you know?”
  • one time my friend and i were at a local arts festival, which just meant it was a gathering place for stoners, gays, and broke college students, and we got shanghaied into volunteering to pick up trash, which naturally meant the second we were alone, we started fucking around and NOT picking up trash, and when we were swordfighting with the trash-pick-uppers, someone yelled “HEY! GET BACK TO WORK!!” and we both jumped and turned around and my middle school english teacher was there, with her girlfriend and a huge-ass bong, laughing her ass off and going “i’m kidding, i’m kidding! what’s up, susie?”

truly an icon, tbh

sweets4mysweet  asked:

I'm so happy that your appointment will bring more (much needed) diversity to the United States Senate! In that, how do you feel your voice and perspectives will change a government with a long history of little representation?

Thank you. You know, when I decided to run for the Senate, I knew that, if elected, I’d be the first female Senator from Nevada. But I didn’t realize that I’d be the first Latina in the Senate until someone mentioned it to me during the race. And it struck me how crazy it was that in the year 2015, there wasn’t a single Latina in the U.S Senate and less than two dozen women. Of course, I wasn’t running to make history. I was running to get things done and help hardworking families get ahead.

Women barely make up a quarter of the representation in Congress. There are only 21 female senators currently serving. While, we’ve certainly come far – it’s still not enough. We bring different perspectives to the table, and we try to work together to get things done. Women need more seats at the table. And in government, I’ve always felt that if you’re going to truly represent your constituents, you need to be just as diverse as those you represent. But I don’t think simply being a Latina Senator is the key here. Now, it’s my turn to leave behind an open door for women who want to follow in my footsteps. We must ensure that those that work hard and play by the rules can succeed at becoming whoever they want– that the tools and resources are there to help them get ahead. And that’s exactly what I’m going to work for every day. 

Earlier this week, I announced that I will be chairing the Women’s Senate Network, a committee initiative launched in 2001 by Senator Debbie Stabenow to help reelect our women Democratic Senators and ensure that women who are thinking of running for Senate have the advice, tools and resources they need to get elected. I am looking forward to heading this initiative and bring more women to the United States Senate.

I’ve come so far from who I used to be.

Food and exercise used to control my life. I would plan my meals days or weeks in advance. If anything got screwed up in my plan I would spiral out and devour everything in sight and spend the rest of my day feeling overwhelmed with guilt. 

Now I don’t plan ahead, I listen to what my body wants and I don’t question it. I’ve ditched the idea of good and bad foods and the emotional toll that comes with those terms. I make my best effort to balance wholesome, natural foods with the junk that I love. I make my best effort to hit the gym when I feel mentally up to it. I don’t feel guilty for taking time off from the gym like I used to.

I spend more time with friends. I put more effort into my relationship. When I do decide to go to the gym I’m happier because it no longer feels like a punishment. I’m nowhere near where I want to be in terms of my physique but right now, I’m really okay with it.

I’m setting up my goal plan. I’m recognizing that I’m not where I want to be and I’m setting a healthy course of action to get to where I will be sustainably healthy and happy. I’m exploring what exercises I’m interested in trying. I’m searching for new foods and recipes to fit into my healthy lifestyle. I catch me beating myself up now and then due to the fact that I haven’t “started” yet…but I have.

The difference is that I’m not rushing into this. I’m doing my research. I’m writing everything down. I’m establishing realistic goals and rewards for reaching those goals. I’m discussing all of this with my loved ones. I want to be all in. I want those around me to know that this time will be different…that this is the lifestyle change I so desperately want that I’ve sought after in so many horrible ways. This time I’m doing it right. I’m all in and I have all the support in the world.

When you read this, Sally - if you ever do - please accept it as a tribute, the sincerest I can pay, to yourself and to our friendship. And send me another post-card.
-Christopher Isherwood, from Goodbye to Berlin

Everything I write now is about you
And everything I write starts with

Remember when we decided I
was Sally Bowles? Hello, darling I
played that role well, with my vintage
bowlers and cloches, faux fur coats worn
threadbare in spots but still fabulous, my
pairs of lacy pants; I played that role
like I was born to play it, with my
love of the spotlight, my scads of
scandalous love affairs - and the
unfortunate abortion, served me right
for putting all my

Faith in art. We were broke, spent
our time writing lousy poetry and
novels no one would ever read, spent
what little money we made on bottles
of Bombay Sapphire and vintage
clothes; we were brokenhearted and
there was a war looming dark on
the horizon, we were depressed
but we looked fantastic and life
was a cabaret and if that was all
there was, we’d break out the booze
and have a ball, if that’s all

That was the year we were never
hungover because we were always
drunk; that year was gin in a cut
glass goblet and bourbon straight
from the bottle, O that year we
learned what comes from too much
pills and liquor and

Now, everything I write is about you
And everything I write starts with

Remember when you were my girl
friend with whom I shared four sordid
rooms in Pilsen? I never thought
I’d miss that place, no heat, no
hot water, cupboards bare of
anything but alcohol, it was a hell
hole but we had each other and
now I know that living with
you in a squalid apartment was
the closest I’d ever get to heaven

Knows I didn’t realize it was
irreversible, didn’t know that leaving
meant losing you didn’t know it,
either - it took you another decade
to figure it out and I wish you’d told
me when you did

You know everything I write now is about you
And everything I write starts with

Remember when. I didn’t drink
enough to forget those days of
beautiful benders and cabaret, of
booze and blue pills and shabby
rooms, and the memories ache more
than a hangover, I’ve gotten over
all those scandalous lovers but I never
did get over you

Sally, Elsie, whatever name you’re
going by now I miss you, and I
want nothing more than one last
night, one last round but I’d settle,
I’d settle for a post-card
—  Jessie Lynn McMains, “Goodbye to Pilsen” (originally appeared in Paper & Ink zine, also appeared in Dimestore Ghosts)
I would like to rhyme again,
What happened to that?
When I’d just decide to start typing,
And hopefully something would get my fingers flying.
It doesn’t have to be spectacular,
Most of my works are widely molecular;
I can even add the word helicopter,
Just for fun.
I’ll explain the joys of going for a run.
Except, I don’t participate in that,
Otherwise it turns into a conundrum.
I’ll date back to the concerts of my early age music playing.
Never mind, it’s never the best idea to think back,
Memories of the past cause the bridges in my overlapping thoughts to start quaking.
How about, the dreams of a humble future,
With a perfect companion.
Hm… dog or cat?
Tough call, I might have to go with the one that catches a ball.
Lost in what to write?
Look at the current surroundings.
Hair color, electronics, birthday balloon still floating around after a month,
Everything can be turned into a metaphor;
Even the travels through a spindle of intestine in that of a carnivore.
Just don’t let your kind steer to the wrong side where potholes are inevitable.
Recently, giving myself a break over rules is favorable.
Words are very powerful,
Especially when you understand them.
Personally, being an animal,
Self-judgement is downright the effect of comparison.
Don’t leak into those greedy devils drainage system,
I came here to write in rhythm,
Desperate to remove myself from the eternal problem.
—  JRZ

anonymous asked:

How did you make your icon? It's really well done.

thank you. i think it went something like:

  1. looked at some caravaggio paintings,
  2. had the bright idea to try to make an icon,
  3. fucked around in photoshop for a few hours,
  4. pulled out my tablet for the first time in 6 months,
  5. briefly cried.

but i will try to explain with a minimum of that.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Why do you want to be blocked by YouTubers? Is it an attention thing?

Alright listen, so I had a dream one night about being blocked by every youtuber and when I woke up I decided that’s my destiny.

last page

afterword to “pages from a book I’ll never write”
     I can’t believe I’ve come to the conclusion of this little series I’ve started. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this. It was a big step up for me in terms of shifting from poetry to a longer story-telling kind of piece. The best part about it for me was really the evolution from where it started to where it ended. At the start I didn’t really have much of a direction for where I wanted to take it, but as I wrote more and added to it, it just took on a life of it’s own.
      Initially I got the idea from some random writing I saw, excerpts from a novel or something like that. I really liked it so I decided to put my own spin on that. I thought it would be good training for a day when I actually do decide to write that first book. The writing style though, the first person anonymous narration, I first saw in a great book I liked called Diary of an Oxygen Thief. I really loved the idea of an anonymous writer. It made you pay less attention to a who and more so of a what, at least to me. And just like that book was a work of fiction, these pages are as well. But while the content was made up, the feelings were not. The emotions felt in these pages I can either relate or people that I know can. The actual stories and dialogue wrote in these pages were based on some of my journeys in life, some of close people to me.
     I was asked what’s the concept of this “book”, what do I want my readers to discover or know. And honestly that question kind of caught me for a second. Page 1 describes of why the narrator wants to write this book. But as the author my concept with this would be a little more different. I don’t have the answers to what is happiness or what is success. I don’t have the answers period. But who does? Who can give the answers about life when every person’s life is different? The narrator is often confused. He’s trying to figure it out for himself. These days in my life I get the feeling that every one is trying to do the same. Our generation is a little bit different then one’s in the past. We’re growing up in a different age technology wise, political wise, etc. There’s always something to be said of us millennials. I guess the concept I just want to get across is that it’s alright to be confused. I want these tales to be relatable. If not in situations than in emotion.
     The second concept or thing I want people to discover is about happiness. I truly do think you create your own happiness. I always thought life was more of a mental game than anything. If you are not content with yourself, with looking at your strengths, weaknesses, insecurities and being honest with yourself you can’t live a truly good life. I want people to question themselves when they read this. I hope it helps on the journey to inner-peace. To self-happiness.
     All in all I just want you to enjoy this and take something from it. It’s my first real stab at story telling, something I’m real passionate about. This is the first and it won’t be the last. Who knows maybe this can turn to a whole book, I’m open to it. (holla at me publishers and editors lol) Thank you for taking your time out to read these pages, these stories near and dear to me. I hope you’ll be back to read my next series. It’ll be here before you know it. Don’t stop questioning the world and never stop questioning yourself. Most of the answers you’re craving for are within you.

- Bernard Alexander

I am now out of surgery and conscious enough to talk about it! Thank you all for being supportive and amazing throughout this process. Early least year when I decided to start writing and drawing again. Really didn’t realize The amount of support and love I’d be getting from all of you guys

To Kat, my best friend in the world. You are the most important person in my life. You’ve supported me through everything I’ve gone through, you’ve literally saved my life multiple times throughout the last year, and in the year and a bit that I’ve known you, you’ve very quickly became the most important person in my entire life. The care, love, support, and respect you’ve shown be has been what has kept me going through the the majority of my depression, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life as your best friend. Love you, best friend

Lizbo. You are incredible. The amount of compliments, kindness, supports, just everything you’ve done for me has helped me push through the pain and hardships I have endured ever since I met you. Both you and Kat almost instantly be came my closest friends in the whole world, my “bestie’s of all the restie’s”, and I love you both so so so much!

To everyone else, thank you for all the amazing help you have given me so far, and I hope to continue to help you all you too. Please don’t hesitate to ask me any questions you may have in the ask box or the comments section!

Love you all!

— Icarus/Laura

me @ myself: u are a lovely young woman! you are a catch! anyone would be lucky to have you! your loneliness and pain won’t last forever! you will get your happiness one day, you deserve it!

myself @ me: 

Voltron season 2: *releases on January 20th*

Me: