I Don’t Mean It (pt 9)
Taehyung ran as fast as his legs could take him, not worrying about who noticed him this late at night on the streets. He couldn’t believe how all these events had played off. He couldn’t believe he didn’t trust you, especially when you told him that you didn’t do it. The image you crying kept replaying in his head as he ran towards the building. He was suddenly scared to approach you.
He thought back to the conversation you both had months and months ago. You both sat on the couch, while you had the TV on in the background as the two of you chatted. That was the first night that Taehyung realized he had fallen in love with you. The way he was so comfortable to open up with you and how you felt the same about him. It was like a connection he never felt before.
He remembered you saying that you value trust as one of the single most important things in your life. And once that trust was broken, it would never be whole again.
Not only did he probably break your trust, but he felt like he broke you too. He remembered the words he yelled at you, now realizing how hurtful they really must have been.
As soon as Taehyung reached his building, he was waiting for the elevator with what little patience he had left. Seeing as you both lived on the 8th floors, he thought the elevator was his best bet but it seemed to be taking longer than usual. Just as he was about to start running up the stairs, the door belonging to the landlord on the first floor opened.
Out came a rather old man and Taehyung knew he had to at least say hello, even though he wanted nothing more than to run up.
“Oh hi there Taehyung…you look rather out of breath,” said the landlord
“Oh…haha yeah sort of” said Taehyung, awkwardly fiddling with his hands, waiting to be excused.
“Oh..you must have been helping your neighbor bring boxes down!” said the landlord. This caught Taehyung’s attention.
“N-neighbor?” Taehyung asked.
“Oh yes! That lovely girl next door to you boys. She said she was moving soon” said the landlord.
Taehyung didn’t even say anything before he rushed up the stairs, knowing he had to stop you at all costs. He ran to your door and before he knocked, he tried to catch his breath and tried to think of what he was going to say to you. He knew earning your forgiveness was no easy task, but you would always forgive him in the end…right? You both had a few small arguments here and there but you had always forgiven him without much effort on his part. Would this time be any different?
Taehyung finally knocked on the door, anxiously waiting for you to open the door. While waiting, he thought back to all the times you opened the door for him with the biggest smile on your face. Was he wrong for wanting that again?
He could hear the door unlock and he let go of a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Thankfully you were home.
“You’re ear–” you said, but stopped as you finally saw who was at the door. You were expecting the movers to come by today, but you were surprised to see Taehyung at the door. You gulped, wondering if he had wanted to come to yell at you some more.
“You..you’re moving?” Taehyung asked. He didn’t mean to start with that, but he couldn’t help himself when he noticed all the cardboard boxes that stood behind you.
You only stare at Taehyung, confused with the tone of his voice. You didn’t know what to say. “Y-yes” was all you could bring out.
“w-why?” he continued.
“I don’t have any reason to stay anymore” you said, tears starting to well up in your eyes again. Before he could say anything else, you tried closing the door on him, but he grabbed the door and pushed it back. He let himself in and you stared at him, wide-eyed.
“Y/N.. I’m so sorry” he said looking directly at you. His tone was guilt ridden. He almost couldn’t meet your eyes after noticing the tears, but he knew he had to stand his ground.
“For what exactly?” you say emotionless. If it weren’t for your tears, you could have been mistaken as a statue.
“For..what I said before. I- I don’t know what I was thinking” Taehyung started, finally tearing away from your eyes as it was getting to much to take.
“You were thinking that I was some low-life scum who was only friends with you to make a few bucks” you said, finally letting the tears flow freely down your slightly rosy cheeks.
“No..I don’t think that of you. I didn’t mean it” Taehyung started pleading as he inched closer to you.
“No, you did mean it” You said, backing away when you noticed him trying to get closer to you.
“Y/N, please, i’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said the things I did…I’m so sorry” Taehyung continued. His stomach started to turn when he thought that there was the chance that you didn’t forgive him this time around. “I heard my manager. He said he made the whole thing up to keep us apart, Y/N please….” he tried again.
You snickered back. “So…you only believe me now because you heard the truth from your manager….otherwise you still wouldn’t have taken my word. Am I right?” you said, with a sudden anger surging through your veins.
Taehyung thought about it for a while, and he knew that a part of what you said was true. He didn’t believe you when you said you didn’t do it, and he knew that he didn’t plan to hear you out either. But a part of him also wanted to keep on holding onto you, even if you had betrayed him.
When it took him a while to reply, you continued “I guess I have my answer….please leave” you said, wiping the tears away from your eyes.
“No, Y/N please hear me out. Please, I’m begging you. Just forgive me this one time please? You’ve always forgiven me in the past, Y/N please” he pleaded, tears threatening to form in his eyes.
“You didn’t want to hear what I had to say, which I should do the same for you?” you asked as you glared back at him.
“I was dumb, Y/N you know me. I always make stupid mistakes, but you always found it in your heart to forgive me. Please, just this one last time, forgive me. I don’t want to lose you….There’s so much I wanted to tell you….” he said as his voice cracked a little at the last part.
You didn’t like seeing Taehyung like this. You always had wanted him to have that box smile on his face, and be the little ball of happiness that he was. But you didn’t know if you could ever be the same with him again. If he doubted you then, what’s to keep him from doubting you in the future? He broke your heart before you even had the chance of giving it all to him, before he even knew that it already belonged to him in the first place. Now, you were just trying to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart, hoping that one day it will be like it was before.
The eerie silence once again filled the room. Taehyung tried to walk to you again, hoping that he just had you in his arms, you could find it in yourself to forgive him. But you stuck your hand out, signaling him to stop.
“No. Leave.” you said firmly.
“Y/N…p-ple” he started
“LEAVE” you screamed back. You let out your sobs and fell to your knees, not having any more energy to continue.
Taehyung wanted nothing more than to run to you and hold you. To let you cry into his arms as he would probably cry back into yours. But he knew that you weren’t going to let him near you, even in your current position. He didn’t want to, but he walked out of your door, finally letting the tears fall. His vision blurred from the tears as he walked back to his own apartment, just a few feet down.
He walked into the silent and dark room, not bothering to turn on the lights. He felt his phone buzz in his pocket, but he already knew that it was just the boys looking for him.
Eventually, the phone stopped buzzing after a few minutes and Taehyung plopped himself onto his bed, finally letting his own tears fall freely.
He just lost you. He lost the girl who he feel so deeply in love with. He didn’t even have the chance to tell you how much you meant to him, or how much he wanted to make you his. Instead, he took the heart he wanted to badly and broke it. He didn’t know why chose to believe his manager’s lies, because deep down he knew you would never do something like that. But it scared him nonetheless. He thought that if his manager was right, then he would end up hurting. So he hurt you instead.
And now here you both were, lonely, in pain, and broken.
A/N: So like…The series is not over. For those of you guys who like pure angst, and don’t want a happy ending, then I suggest you stop here. In the future part(s), I’m writing with the intention of a happy ending. Do y’all want part 10? What do you think is going to happen to Y/n and Tae?! Let me know~ I love hearing from y’all. The support I’ve gotten from this one series has been amazing and it’s been so much fun writing for you guys. Part 1 has reached over 1.8k notes and I’m still in awe.