when he said that i literally said

anonymous asked:

I've been so confused since Phil said he flew back alone. Dan said he spent a week under the sun which would be true if he stayed until the 18th. but he got asked if he was jetlagged a few days ago (when phil returned home) and he said he was??? a week long jetlag seems like too much. I'm literally trying to figure out this riddle help me @God lmao

Everything they’ve said makes sense!

Dan was planning to (’peer pressured’ into) staying in Florida for a bit after Playlist, but didn’t intend on staying the full time. He and Phil would have had separate flights booked back, leaving on separate days. 

When it was such a pain in the ass to get  a visa into the US, he decided fuck it and stayed the whole time Phil did. But because they booked their flights separately to begin with, Dan couldn’t just book the seat next to Phil on the same flight back no matter if he stayed the full time or not. 

Therefore they flew back separately. 

Flirt any and everywhere !!!! I was at a Barnes and noble cafe typing up scholarship papers when this man literally sat infront of . Professional , cleaned up and def rocking some doe As he got up to order I casually got in line behind him and as he ordered an espresso with soy I just made a slight remark on how rare such a combo was ( 😭😭😭I def know espressos are common but hey I’m new to this ) He turned around , smirked and said “and what will you be having ? ” I shrugged and said a vanilla latte with soy 🔮 this man paid for my drink then turned around and started flirting . He asked what I was writing about and I explained the essay question , he was amazed that I could sit and really complete these prompts and when I remarked that college isn’t going to pay itself he handed me his phone and said “well I might …could I get your number Luna ?” We exchanged numbers and texting is lowkey lit soooooooooooo , date this Wednesday ( botanical gardens and Georgetown adventures )

Originally posted by mtv

Some Belated Valentines 2k17 Highlights from Flower Land

- The giant Russian man who stormed through the door while we were quite busy and shouted “Whoooo is helping me? I need BEST FLOWERS in the WORLD because I have BEST WIFE!!”
- The old man who picked up his roses at 8 AM and when I said “I hope she likes them!” giggled and said “These oughta keep me outta the dog house for at least a week!”
- At 3 PM: “I need a delivery of tulips to the south side today.” “We aren’t doing any more deliveries to the south side today.” “I should tell you that this is on behalf of my client {Redacted Football Player} of The Bears and he is willing to pay literally anything.”
- “Hey, boss, I have an order from FootballPlayer of The Bears and he is willing to pay literally anything.” “Don’t you mean FootballPlayer of The Bears FOR NOW?”
-“Okay tell him we’ll do it but he has to buy all our remaining tulips.”
- One guy wanted to buy a teddy bear holding a real rose so I made a teeny tiny rose bouquet for the bear to hold and it is easily the cutest thing I have ever made.
- This same guy grabbed a 55 dollar
arrangement from my table and brought it to me and said “Add flowers to this until it is 200 dollars.”
- Valentine’s Day makes some men crazy.
- When the last man came in to pick up his arrangement twenty minutes after we were supposed to close everyone who was working shouted his name in unison and it was Hilarious.
- All the parents sending flowers to their single professional daughters. Almost all of them made me teary. People from all over the country have daughters who live in Chicago and are single and they all wanted to send their single Chicago daughters flowers.
- “A man is calling and he says you are his best friend?” “What?” “He has an Eastern European accent?” “OH! It’s the man who has the best wife!”
- “I would like 100 roses.” “That will be 600 dollars.” “I would like 12 roses.”

why my chem teacher is the most dad™ teacher and all-around coolest ever

- spent 5 minutes one day complaining about the transition effects and lame fonts on the old chem teacher’s lecture slides

- had us take a survey the first day of school in which he included a question about being stuck on a desert island with justin bieber

- while teaching us nomenclature conventions for alkanes, pointed at “pent-” and said “obviously you show know some of these already; if you’re a satanist you probably know what a pentagram is,” opened a discussion of temple of satan vs. satanic temple, and said he’d be interested in joining the satanic temple one day 

- a lecture slide on calorimetry included a picture of a bomb calorimeter, which he explained in depth, then held up a styrofoam cup and said “here’s a public school calorimeter”

- someone asked a question about when electronegativity becomes polar, so he pulled up a spectrum running from non-polar to ionic and said “it’s a spectrum. like gender. you know how some people think a person is a girl even if they say they’re a guy and vice versa? there are still non-polar bonds with high electronegativity and people think they should be polar but just because they have a certain electronegativity doesn’t mean they’re polar. pls be understanding of ur covalent kids.” 

- uses a yardstick instead of a pointer

- waves said yardstick around frequently, mostly for no reason. 

- once said (ironically) that he saw less and less bullying in classrooms now and that was a bit disappointing even though it was good. added that “if i had to suffer then you all do too” in a bitter tone of voice. when a english teacher walked in and asked him why he was waving the yardstick around he said it was because he was reminiscing on the bullying days.

- couple of us asked if we should get a new periodic table to take the test with since we’d written all over ours. he said no because if we’re smart enough to think ahead and cheat then we deserve the a.

- actually has a degree in philosophy. he’s so fucking nerdy

- he bikes to school everyday and then carries his bike up two flights of stairs to his classroom

- sometimes during tests he pulls a bagel and peanut butter out of his desk and eats them while watching us silently

- this one time we walked into class and he’d shaved off his half-beard into a mustache and when we asked why he said “i’m not a huge fan of it but my wife likes it so i do it for her” 

- used the trump supporter kid’s logic against him without explicitly expressing his political views so no one can actually get him fired

- complains to our class about how much he hates us

- explained catalytic converters to us once, then pointed at me with the yardstick and said “barrett you’re gonna love this because it involves carbon monoxide and like, suffocating yourself”

- i started crying once in class and he literally refused to give me the test because he didn’t think it would be fair to make me test while having an anxiety attack so he sent me into the lab and closed the classroom door and let me ugly cry. i kept begging him to let me take the test tho so he sighed and said “im ur dad right now not ur teacher please don’t take the test just light some incense and listen to some reggae or something and chill”

- i used pig’s blood in my chem internal assessment and when i asked him where i could store it overnight he shrugged and was like “i guess put it in the fridge in the teacher’s lounge and i’ll just tell people not to drink your blood”

- he knows our class so well it’s a little scary. predicts exactly what’s going to happen in certain circumstances with like 100% accuracy

- this one girl in my class didn’t finish her homework but we submit in through pictures on google classroom so she sent in a picture of her dog and he accepted it and gave it 10/10

So I played a really mean prank on my parents the other day....

My parents and I were sitting down to watch spn 12x12 (Stuck in the Middle With You) (which I had already seen), and said just before watching…. “One of the main characters is going to die!” 

My parents’ reaction: “Oh shit who is it?”

I said that I wasn’t going to tell but the episode was going to be really traumatic! Obviously when this happend…. 

Mum: *gasps* Cas!!!! Noooo

Dad: He’s my favourite! He can’t die, he’s Cas!

Me: 

So when this happened….

Parents: *both crying* 

Dad: I just can’t believe he’s going to die 

Mum: I’m not watching the show anymore they have gone too far 

But when this happend….

Me: hahahahahaha suckers! I fooled you!!! 

Mum: *literally gets up and smacks me*

Dad: You little shit…

Since there’s apparently nothing official I can do about it, consider this a PSA:

If you’re in The UK, and your doctor refers you to a consultant, and that consultant is called Dr Augustine Okolie: run a mile. Ask for someone else. Refuse to go.

This is a man who:
- refused to document symptoms that did not fit his preferred diagnosis
- refused to correct the false information he recorded
- made up symptoms in order to justify his preferred diagnosis.
- minor compared to the rest, but was incredibly condescending, patronising, and sarcastic in person.
- repeatedly tried to explain to me how I supposedly felt, and refused to listen when I said that was incorrect.
- literally lied on my medical record, and it can’t be removed and the best I’ve been able to do after a year is get the NHS to agree to put a letter in front of his report THAT I HAD TO WRITE MYSELF, stating that it would be unethical to use his report because it deviates so far from reality.

The local service who hired him apparently couldn’t do anything about his behaviour (because he was a locum, and left shortly after my encounter with him)
The ombudsman said they couldn’t do anything about it, and directed me to the GMC
The General medical council said they wouldn’t do anything about it and tried to direct me back to the onbudsman, then the local service. Then NHS England.
Nhs England directed me to my area’s clinical commissioning group.
They said they’d look into it.
And never got back to me.

So apparently no one cares that this man is at best inept and at worse actually knowingly falsifying patient records.

And I’m writing this post on tumblr because there is apparently nothing else I can do. No one cares, no one is there to police this man, or stop him hurting anyone else. So this is it. This is the best I can do.

Doctor Augustine Okolie: avoid him.

Cute Bus Stop Guy

Sterek, Teen, 2K words, Meet Cute AU


Stiles groaned and took a very long swig from his travel coffee mug as he hitched his messenger bag up higher on his shoulder. It was barely eight in the morning, and consequently, he could barely keep his eyes open. He was a grad student for fuck’s sake, and it was understood that in order to make up for the shitty stipend and the whole working-around-the-clock thing, he got to sleep in until 10. At least. After all, if he was up until 3 working, it was only fair. But noooo, his advisor—fuck you, Finstock—had insisted on an early meeting today.

He passed the bus stop and realized that at least he was lucky in that he lived close enough to campus that he could walk instead of dealing with public transportation at rush hour. Small condolences, really, though.

He yawned and accidentally bumped into someone walking past him. Stiles tried to apologize, but the word got stuck in his throat when he opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of the person he’d nearly knocked over. He was about Stiles’ height but bigger, all broad shoulders and muscles capped off by really great hair and an unfairly attractive face. “Uh.”

The guy gave him a curt little nod and neatly sidestepped him, continuing on his way. Stiles snuck a look over his shoulder, and yep, the rear view in those tight slacks was pretty good, too. The guy stopped at the bus stop, leaning against the sign, and Stiles sighed. It was a dreamy sigh, even he could admit that.

He had a feeling he was going to become a morning person.

Keep reading

OK but when Keith claimed that Zarkon may be tracking the team through him

Look at Lance’s reaction, he literally looks the most concerned out of all of them 

I just find it interesting how when Allura said that she might be the reason Zarkon is finding everyone, he just started flirting with her immediately and completely ignored the big issue

But when Keith said anything, his concern radar just flew through the roof and he became completely alert 

  • The lady at the adoption centre as I'm signing the papers to adopt my first child: Isn't this the greatest day of your life?
  • Me, thinking of the day Raphael Santiago was confirmed asexual by Shadowhunters, giving me the first tv show character who shared my sexual orientation: Uh, yeah, it's definitely up there.

he literally said being female is not that important to him when looking for a partner

he said don’t knock it til you try it about hooking up with men

so sure you can go ahead and ignore the rainbow flags, the rainbow pin, the social media posts in support of the lgbtqia community, the michael sam jersey and just brush everything off as harry ‘being a good ally’. 

but the people who think harry isn’t straight aren’t reaching or trying to ‘forcibly out him’ they’re listening to the words coming out of his own fucking mouth.

Wrong

Originally posted by lumos025

Summary: Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung bullied you in high school and by some sick joke the universe was playing on you, 2 years later Jungkook was attending the same University as you. Even sicker joke was being stuck with him doing a project on ‘Sex in Cinema’ for a whole semester. Go figure.

Words: 8083

Warnings: Smut, a lot of dirty talk holy shit (I can’t help it), oral, masturbation, overstimulation.

2 years earlier:

You walked down the road, almost around midnight, trying to get home as fast as possible the chilly rainy weather. Not to mention the truck that was trailing behind you and the screams and shouts of “wait up thunder thighs!” and “stop running away like a little bitch!” coming from the 3 boys who occupied it. Wrapping your arms around yourself to feel just an ounce of warmth, you willed yourself to ignore these bastards and walk faster. ‘I’m almost home, I’m almost home’ repeating it like a mantra in your head. Really, it was a stupid idea to think that you could enjoy a last high school party with your friends who were the complete opposite of you. After all, when the three most popular boys of the school were determined to make your life a living hell, why would anyone else want to treat you different in this extremely cliché scenario. It was hard to pinpoint what exactly was it about you that made them hate you so much.

From the time that you can remember, and you remembered a lot, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook had always despised you. It’s like they couldn’t stand your existence. When you would be at the library helping out by staying late, they would wait after school, yes they would go out of their way to stay at school longer, to make sure that your walk home was as stressful as possible. Making fun of pretty much anything and everything you did was a normal occurrence. You had just learned to live with it, but not today.

You suddenly started to slow your pace. They are cowards, you thought. What can they possibly do? Always taunting, always calling names, always making you feel shit about anything you took interest in. But they were all talk right? You thought, huffing out. People like them walk in groups because they can’t actually do anything alone. You don’t know what came over you, but you suddenly stopped and turned around slowly. The truck that the boys were trailing behind you also slowed and stopped a few meters away.

The one driving was Jimin, while Taehyung sat beside him and Jungkook stood, head poking out of the truck’s opening in the ceiling. You stood defiantly, shaking from the growing rain, your hair soaked and hands tightly by your side. Silently daring them to charge the truck towards you. ‘They won’t do it, they’re cowards’ you thought, your confidence growing slowly. You couldn’t tell where this adrenaline rush had come from to give you such courage to finally stand your ground, just a few weeks away from graduation. You could see Taehyung’s cunning, and terrifyingly psychotic grin widening as he relentlessly whispered in Jimin’s ear, whose grip on the wheel was tightening as he looked you right in the eyes. Jungkook was laughing. He apparently found the situation so amusing, that you decided now to grow a spine and challenge them. Suddenly, the sound of the engine revving was as loud as the rain.

It all went pretty much downhill from there. The last thing you remembered was your too loud heartbeat, the bright flash from the truck and Jungkook’s face suddenly forming a horrified expression as if he wasn’t just laughing at you.

Present day:

You weren’t looking for him specifically among the crowd flooding into the lecture hall. But something did happen inside you when you spotted him. A kind of lightness, or a lifting of some heavy part of yourself. Everything was settling into a nice, normal routine. You were going about your daily lives in an ordinary manner, and you were doing it completely separately.

He sat in the fourth row, and you sat at the back. Only now there was no rising sense of dread. You didn’t keep your hand to yourself when the lecturer asked a question. You answered, without the background sound of someone snickering. And even when it felt as though he was looking at you, when you snuck a glance at him you only ever saw the back of his head.

He bent low over his notes, and his head occasionally lifted a little as he really listened to whatever the lecturer was saying. Once or twice you actually caught him nodding, or doing a little staggered-looking half laugh over some ridiculous concept. As if he loved it all now.

He loved it so much he was sometimes at the lectures early. You would come in with Y/B/F, still giggling over something ridiculous, and get the faint prickle that told you he was already there. Only now when it happened it didn’t make you want to cover herself up, or run and hide. There was nothing to hide from. Everything was going to be super cool and totally fine from here on in. Or it would have been, if it were not for the group project. The one that you were so excited for that you didn’t process it when your lecturer started reading out the names. You would be working with Y/B/F—that was a given. They were going to watch ridiculously filthy movies together and laugh about bobbing butts and ogle Ewan McGregor’s penis.

And then you heard his name.

Followed by yours.

Distantly, like in a dream of being in class.

“Miss Y/L/N, do you have a problem with that assignment?”

Everyone was looking at you now. No—not just looking. Examining, as though You had become a new and baffling species. The girl who was not excited about being carried by Jungkook. The creature who seemed horrified at the prospect of working with him. It made it difficult to do anything at all, even with Y/B/F urging you to say yes, yes I do have a fucking problem. Though You still didn’t expect the shake of you head to happen. Just one little accidental shake of you head and that was it. Your lecturer moved on to his next victim, leaving you in something You once had a nightmare about in ninth grade. Working with Jungkook. On a semester-long project.

About sex in cinema.

“Don’t worry, we can fix this. Just go to his office and talk to him privately about it. He would have to be Satan himself to not understand,” You heard Y/B/F whisper. But the words seemed even further away than you name had when your lecturer read it out.

“Right. Right. Yeah. You’re right.”

“I can come with you if you want.”

“No, that’s okay. That’s fine.”

“Are you sure? You look like you’ve been punched. In the face. With a small nuclear blast.”

“I’m sure,” You said, but soon came to regret that firmness in your voice. The steady nod that told Y/B/F it was okay for you to go in a different direction once you were outside. It only meant that You were on your own when you got to the tiny hallway outside your lecturer’s door.

And saw that Jungkook was already waiting. Of course he was—he probably had the same concerns as you. No matter how sorry he was or what he thought of being in the red and being wrong, he would never want to work in close quarters with you for the entire semester. In fact, him being sorry likely made the situation seem worse to him. Most likely he had calculated all the awkward conversations you guys would have to have and how far apart he would have to stand to keep you comfortable, and found it as unbearable as you did.

Even though his expression seemed to say something else.

Oh god. His expression was saying something else.

Then he held up his hands, as though to calm you.

And you knew.

“All right, Y/N, I know that you’re probably thinking it’s way better if you do this project with that gal pal of yours, but wait, okay? I got reasons why this is gonna be fine.”

“Is that seriously why you’re here? To stop me asking to switch us?”

“Well…no. Not stop you exactly. Stop is a really strong word.”

“While I’m glad you’ve learned that—” You said, your voice briefly catching when you saw his wince. He winced, your mind hissed, before you forced yourself to finish. “I still think it covers what’s happening here.”

“I just wanted to talk to you about it for a second. Just, like, hear me out.”

“I want to. I really do. But come on. You know I wasn’t born yesterday. This has all the hallmarks of some kind of trap or prank or joke at my expense.”

“How could it possibly be a trap or prank? He put people together based on…I don’t even know what he put people together based on. But it couldn’t have had anything to do with me.”

You searched his face, looking for the lie. Waiting for him to show some hint of bullshit, beneath those too-kind eyes and his spread hands and the obvious logic of what he was saying.

Only there was nothing, nothing, nothing.

And it made no difference at all.

“Okay, I buy that. I do. Yet the fact still remains: I cannot do a project with you. Ever. You have to know that doing anything like that is completely impossible for me. Right?”

“I was just thinking that maybe…maybe you could give it a chance. You know, now that we’re on speaking terms and everything is almost cool between us.”

“You think everything is cool between us?”

“Well, maybe not cool exactly. More like…okay.”

“Still need to dial it back a notch, chief.”

“Reasonable? Not bad? Kind of semi decent?”

“That last one is getting close.”

He sighed, shoulders sagging.

Relenting, you thought. He’s actually relenting.

“Fine, we are a fucking disaster.”

“Now you’re getting the idea,” You said.

“But I figure we can work on it.”

“By doing a project on sex in the cinema together?”

“Well,” he said. “When you put it like that it sounds dumb.”

“There’s no other way to put it! That is literally what you’re suggesting.”

“Yeah, I get that. I just…want to not get that. I want it to be easier or better or just not the way this is.”

“That could have been my daily prayer in high school, Jungkook.”

He didn’t react the way You expected to, with more weird arguing.

He just closed his eyes.

He closed them like someone had just told him his family had been in a fatal accident.

“I wish I could go back and start over again. More than wish—I would give everything I have to start over again. The wrestling, this scholarship, every party I ever went to and every fun thing I ever did. And you can choose to not believe me about that, but—”

“I believe you.”

“You do?”

“I’m as surprised as you are, but yeah.”

“Then why does this have to be such a big deal?”

You thought of Y/B/F saying attempted murder.

“Y/N that is fucking attempted murder. Babe, you don’t have to feel bad about anything you put him through now. His friends and him included, ran you over with a fucking truck. How much physio and other therapy sessions did you have to go through because of them, huh?”

The terror that used to flood you when he walked down the hall.

That ever-present sensation of a grille barrelling into your body.

“Because understanding that someone is truly sorry and wanting to spend huge amounts of time with them are two different things. I might see that you mean this, and know rationally that I can almost sort of trust you. Maybe I even want it to be that easy, too. But your face is the one I had nightmares about for two years. Your smile doesn’t seem happy to me. I associate it with cruelty.”

You shook your head. Glanced away from him so you didn’t have to see the defeated look on his face.

“It’s hard for me to look at you, Jungkook, no matter how much I appreciate what you’ve done here.”

“That was a really well-thought-out and logically sound speech.”

“I know it was. I’m pretty proud.”

“And I have no argument against it.”

“You don’t need one. What you’ve done here…” You gritted your teeth hard and looked at the ceiling. But this time it didn’t stop the tears. They were already welling up by the time You explained the rest to him.

“It means a lot. And a million men would never have done the same, I can promise you. I don’t have any messages from Jimin on my phone. Taehyung isn’t going to call anytime soon. It’s just you, a rare fantasy in the middle of all this dismal reality.”

He turned around when you were done. All the way around—and then his arms went up to cover his head and you understood. What you said had affected him, strongly. Maybe more than his words had affected you. It took him twice as long to get it together, and even after he had he couldn’t quite look at you. He just kept staring at the wall and clenching his jaw.

And saying things. Oh yeah, he said things, in a strained, shaky voice.

“I meant what I said, you know. That you are the very best.”

“I know. That’s why I’m going to ask you not to say it again.”

“I can’t stop. I have the opposite of whatever idiocy infected me in high school.”

“What, like insane-need-to-compliment fever?”

“Pretty much, yeah,” he said.

“Well it has taken a raging hold of you, let me tell you.”

“I know it seriously cannot be stopped.”

“I think you have a terminal case.”

“Not a bad way to go, if you ask me,” he said, so soft and sincere it took all your strength to stop yourself smiling in response. You could feel your lips trembling. Your cheeks ached with the effort of pinning them down, yet still You knew you were failing. You could see it in his satisfied expression.

And hear it in his words.

“That’s better. Seeing you look happy.”

“I am happy,” You said, then added without thinking: “Are you?”

Of course you didn’t mean anything by it. It was just a polite habit, based on interactions with people other than Jungkook. People who had actual problems, who lived troubled lives, who might answer with a god no. Jungkook would never need to answer with a god no. His life was full of endless possibilities and unfettered glory. He could snap his fingers and have a thousand people follow him to the ends of the earth.

He even looked that way, in the dim light of the narrow hallway between these offices.His hair was the colour of dark chocolate. Every item of clothing suited him perfectly, from the rich grey-blue of his V-neck to the jeans he’d tucked into his timberlands. He exuded cool from every pore; he could have stepped off the cover of a magazine.Yet all you could see was his face as it slowly sagged. It was like watching someone cut the strings that had held a mask in place—a mask you hadn’t known he was wearing. You thought that smiling golden god who had tormented you was the real him, but for a second you couldn’t be sure. Just for one heart-rattling second, and then the door to the office opened and that glimpse of something else was gone—so fast You would imagine later that it had never existed. It was just a trick of the light.

Better to focus on the real and the now.

“What can I do for you two today?” Professor asked.

Then you took a breath and answered.

“Nothing,” You said.

A few weeks later:

After that day, you didn’t know how or why you suddenly decided to give working with him a try, but so far, it was going…. okay. You two met up at the library, took your notes, glancing at each other once in a while, mostly Jungkook, asking each other questions relevant to their awkward topic given the situation and that was that. He made jokes sometimes that managed to get out a few carefree laughs out of you as well. It was all… comfortable. Nothing that you had expected. That is why, you decided, it was time to move on to watching actual movies for references, in your project.

It was nearly one in the morning, on a Wednesday night when you went to get him as your friend was out and that was the only time Jungkook was free after wrestling practice. Everyone was in bed, and it gave an eerie feeling to your journey back to your dorm.

As did his silence.

He was always talking—You realized that then. Sometimes he practically kept up a running commentary on everything and anything, yet here he was as quiet as stone. And it wasn’t because he was exerting himself. He didn’t breathe hard once the whole time. He could have been carrying a backpack full of air. But the idea of mental trouble lingered. When you tilted your head a little, you could practically hear his mind going over and over things, in a way that just wasn’t like him. He was easy-going. Happy-go-lucky. He never worried about things the way you did.

Until now.

“Jungkook, are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I don’t know. You just seem a little…”

Like an ominous statue of yourself.

“I was just thinking what movie we should watch.”

“Oh. Oh. You mean…right now?” You asked.

“Well, that’s what you came to get me for.”

“That’s true, I did come and get you for that.”

“Unless you don’t want me in your room so late.”

“No, no why would I…no, that’s cool.”

“You’re in the Jubilee Building, right?”

You had the strongest urge to ask him how he knew. But that seemed just as weird as objecting to him being in your room.

“Yeah. You just go past the science block and then—”

“Right, right, right I got it, I got it. The statue of Heo Nanseolheon is outside it, yeah?”

“That’s the one. Then it’s the third floor. Don’t worry though, there’s an elevator.”

“Ah, it wouldn’t have been a big deal.”

“Do you wanna let me unlock the door?” you asked standing behind him when you both reached your dorm.

“Oh shit, yeah. Yeah, go ahead,” he said moving his bulky body out of the way as you slid past him to unlock the door. Everything had returned to the way it should be now between you and Jungkook.

Except for the sexy movie you were now going to watch.

Alone. Together. On your bed. In the middle of the night.

You let him pick the movie, thinking that would make things easier somehow. Nothing could be misconstrued, at least, that way. He wouldn’t think you meant anything by your choice, whatever it might be. But you forgot that he might mean something with his choice. You watched the heroine trying to clumsily pick up the hero at the start of White Palace, and cringed so hard it felt more like a cramp in your gut. Your cheeks grew hot, in a way that made you grateful for the dim light of your feeble bedside lamp.

Otherwise he would see you face go red and know you understood his point—despite the fact that his point was fucking nonsense.

“This is even less realistic than Dirty Dancing.”

“Really? You think so? Like, in what way?” You asked.

“It just seems like she keeps pushing and pushing. No woman would push a guy that good-looking if he didn’t seem into it. I can’t think of anything more embarrassing.”

You didn’t look at him, but knew he shrugged.

His arm rubbed against yours as he did it.

“Maybe she doesn’t care.”

“I guess not.”

“Maybe she knows he’s actually into it.”

“That could be one explanation.” Jungkook says, sighing.

“Plus she obviously gets exactly what she was looking for.” He adds.

Onscreen, Susan Sarandon was going down on James Spader.

Which to you didn’t seem to back up his point at all.

“Oh yeah, I’m sure she’s having a great time getting absolutely nothing out of this.”

“That’s what this looks like to you? Like she’s getting nothing out of this?”

“Well, in movies they make it look like she is. But I doubt she really would be.”

“You doubt that giving a guy a blow job could be enjoyable for a woman.”

You glanced at him then, just to see if his expression was as incredulous as his voice.

Then had to look back at the screen quickly. If anything, his expression was worse. He had one eyebrow raised, and there was almost no humour in his eyes. This was serious somehow. Much too serious.

“I don’t know. I mean it’s not really something you do for your own enjoyment. You do it for his.”

“So to you there’s nothing pleasurable about it. Nothing sexy about having a guy at your mercy. Begging you, moaning for you, trying not to push too deep when it gets too good.”

Your breath hitched.

“You do those things?”

The words came out too fast. Too disbelieving, too.

But You just couldn’t stop them. They ripped out of you before you had time to talk it over with you mind, all ragged around the edges and maybe a little breathless. Just enough that he likely heard it, and wondered why. You couldn’t tell him, however. You didn’t know yourself.You only knew that when he started talking again You had the urge to put your fingers in your ears.

“Of course I do those things. Having your cock sucked is fucking amazing,” he said, which was absolutely fine.

But then he kept going.

He kept going.

“The heat and the slickness and her looking up at you as she works it with her hands and lips and tongue. Especially the tongue. The tongue is the best part. Watching it curl right around the—”

“Well, okay, it sounds cool when you put it that way.”

God your voice sounded loud. And too fast again, too. All your words practically jumbled together.

“I don’t know what other way it could possibly be.”

“How about hold still while I fuck your face? Some guy coming right in your eye? Losing a chunk of hair because he pulled too hard?”

“You’re not serious. Tell me honestly. None of that happened.”

Now his voice was bright with amusement. But it didn’t make you feel any better.

“All of that happened. To me. More than once.”

“Yeah but after…”

“After what?”

“After he came then he…”

He made a circle with his hand bobbing his head, as though you should know that one thing logically followed on from the other. It was all completely easy and obvious.

Instead of the hardest quiz you had ever had to get through. “Then he what? Gave me cab fare?”

“No. No. After that then this happens.”

You glanced at the thing he was pointing at.

Then had to look away again, quick. At your hands, at the bedspread.

At him, as he oh-so-slowly realized what your sudden awkwardness meant.

“This has never happened to you. Holy shit. You’ve never had a guy go down on you.”

“I have had a guy go down on me. I totally have.”

“Are you sure about that? You don’t look sure.”

“Well, maybe not like this.”

“There’s no other way to do it. This is actually the most basic, ordinary way to go about eating pussy.”

At those words, you could feel the fire burning on your cheeks and your breathing getting laboured. Jungkook really had no filter.

“Yeah, but this seems really exciting and sexy and hot.”

“Going down on a girl is really exciting and sexy and hot. Like I said about giving a guy head? Exactly the same principle. You get to see you writhe and shake and push herself against your mouth. Just like that, just like Sarandon is doing. Look at her. Look at her.”

“I am. I am looking,” You said, but You weren’t, not really.

You were thinking of the shiver that had gone through you when he said look, soft as butter and so oddly tender. And the way that he was looking himself, eyes almost far away.

Like he was seeing Sarandon, but putting someone else in her place.

“Think about how it must feel.”

“Yeah I can…I get that…”

“Think about his tongue slowly easing over her soft folds.”

“Is that…how…is that what you…” You said, breathlessly “Uh-huh.”

“And it works?”

You voice was a whisper now. But that was okay. His was, too. It was so low he had to lean close to ask you questions. He had to meet your gaze, and You had to meet his.

“What works?”

“It makes you…you know. Cum.”

“Oh yeah. But you gotta take your time.”

“I see. I guess that makes sense.” You were just babbling now, trying to keep up with him.

“Let it build, nice and slow. Start by just stroking her with your fingertips. Work her, you know, until her lips part. And then when she’s all open to you, you just trace the shape of her with your tongue. Lick and lick in these ever decreasing circles until you’re right…fucking…there.”

“Where? Where…where are you?”

You shouldn’t have asked. You knew you shouldn’t as soon as it was out. Your faces were too close together now, and his body seemed to be looming over yours. That was his shoulder, almost nudging your chin. And his thigh, pressing deep and hard into yours. His answer was never going to make any of this better.

Then it came, hotter than molten lava and twice as destructive.

“Her clit. Her slick, swollen clit.”

“I see. That makes sense,” You said, even though that wasn’t what you wanted to go with.

No, what you wanted to go with was more like oh my fucking God this can’t be reality.

“Then you just…stroke it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Until she’s mindless.”

“Yeah. Yeah.”

“Doesn’t even know what she’s saying anymore, or doing. She might tell you to bite, to fuck her with your tongue and fingers, harder or faster or some word that doesn’t even make sense. Hips coming up to meet you, greedy for it, horny for it, so horny she barely notices that her hand is in your hair and she’s squeezing tight enough for it to sting, so close to coming that her whole body is shuddering and shivering and flushing that deep, good pink. Soon as you see it you just know she’s burning. That her clit is aching and throbbing and her pussy is all open and slippery, and one more second of this will make her come. She’s already coming, before you even know where you’re at. Hard, hard, hard, like she never has before.”

You were holding your breath by the time he was done. You practically had to—his face was so close now you could have blinked and brushed his cheek with your eyelashes. Every word he said seemed to stroke against your face, cool at first but then more heated. As though he was starting to boil alive inside, too. Certainly he looked that way. You have never seem him flushed like this, not even when he pushed himself during a match.

Not even when he was embarrassed.

Though you supposed that wasn’t a common occurrence. He didn’t seem to be embarrassed now, and he’d just said all those words. He said clit and pussy and slippery, as if that was just a normal way to talk to your friend. And he did it all without flinching, too. Without glancing away or putting some distance between you. In fact, those eyes of his—now heavy lidded and so soft focus—seemed intent on you more than they ever had been before. They skittered all over you face, searching for something you had no idea how to give.

You didn’t even know what the something was.

You only knew that it made you forget yourself, just as he had described.

It made you search his face back, marvelling over every brutish line and gentle curve. Those lips of his, as plump as a girl’s yet so masculine at the same time. Every inch of them gleaming, as if he’d slicked them with gloss in anticipation of a kiss. Though even in that moment you didn’t really believe you wanted that. Until he whispered, low and heavy against your own lips.

“You can, you know.”

“Can what?”

“Touch yourself.”

It jolted you, when he said it.

But not as much as realizing why he said it.

You followed his gaze down, and took in the unmistakable sight of your hand in your lap. Really, really high up in your lap. Almost between your legs, in fact—though that was fine, it was cool, it was okay. You stuttered ‘no, no I didn’t really want to do that’, but it didn’t matter.

Because his hand was actually between his legs.

“I do,” he said.

As the whole world as You knew it dissolved right in front of your eyes.

“You do?”

“Fuck, yes. I’m dying to.”

“Because of the film. Because of the movie.”

“Sure. We can say that, if you want.”

You closed your eyes. Swallowed thickly.

Wished hard that he hadn’t added that last part.

“If we could that would be awesome.”

“No problem. I mean it was probably inevitable that this would happen to us.”

“Probably, yeah. Almost definitely, in fact.”

“Just a natural response to a sexy movie.”

“Seems that way to me.”

“So you just slip your hand under your waistband, and I’ll slip my hand under mine,” he said, which was fine all on its own. The problem was that he then went ahead and did it. You tried not to look, but saw anyway. You saw the way he fumbled in his haste, as though all his talk was only calm on the surface. Underneath, something was paddling frantically. It was making his cheeks pink and his body all trembly.

And his dick hard. God, his cock was hard.

You could see that without even trying at all. The curving shape beneath his sweatpants was enormous and unmistakable, and even if it hadn’t been, his hand made it pretty clear. As You watched, he eased it over that solid length, before finally clasping it in a way that shoved the swollen head right up against the tented material. Now You could make out ruder details, like the thick ridge around the head, and the slit at the tip. Both pronounced, explicit, rude.

But that wasn’t what really got you.

It was the way he stopped to lick his palm, before shoving it

under his waistband.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god, are you serious?”

“It’s cool. it’s fine. We don’t even have to look at each other.”

“No I guess not. I guess…I guess that I can just watch the screen.”

“We’re just two people getting off over a hot movie.”

“Exactly. Exactly.”

But that wasn’t strictly true. You weren’t getting off over the movie at all. Nothing was even happening anymore—it was just rich people looking down their noses and arguments over a Dust buster. If anything, it was vaguely depressing, rather than lust-inducing. Yet still You sat there, face burning, body tender and rigid all at the same time. Half of you stuffed so full of embarrassment and shock you sort of wanted to block everything out, the other half just shamelessly straining to hear every single tiny sound he made. Never daring to look, of course, but then…

You really didn’t need to.

He made so much noise that you could make out almost everything. Every little moan and gasp—and there were a lot of them, too. Lots of thick, guttural moans that started on an ah and ended with a kind of abrupt sigh, as though a knife had sliced through his throat before he could finish. So many soft mmms and gasps, like he honestly couldn’t get enough of whatever he was doing.

Though it was the whispers that hit you hardest. They got you right in the gut, low down and deep enough to ache. Oh yeah, he murmured, as though the hottest sex in the world was happening onscreen. As though they were fucking like animals, up and down and left and right. His tone even sounded sort of tremulous, and it got more intense as time went on. Soon he was panting, and rocking, and every now and then uttering something he was clearly imagining himself doing.

“Ah, yeah, suck my cock, just like that,” he said.

Then just to make it extra agonizing, he spat into his hand.

To make it extra slick, you thought, like someone’s mouth. Someone sucking him the way he’d described, slow and steady until he was actually shuddering, right here and now. The bed was moving, at least, and it wasn’t because he was working that cock hard. He wasn’t. He was going slow, so slow, squeezing and rolling rather than the short, fast kind of thing You’d always thought guys did. They almost never seemed to do anything else in porn…but then again they never did all this other stuff, too. You dared to turn you head a little more and saw to your astonishment that he had his hand pressed to his mouth. He was almost biting his fist, chest heaving, body shivering all over—but most important, eyes closed.

He couldn’t even see you looking. You were free to do as you pleased.Yet something held you back. You couldn’t seem to do more than peek out of the corner of you eye, and even that made you feel strange. You kept getting this clenching sensation—sort of like embarrassment or humiliation—and it got worse when his back arched. When he actually said out loud that he was almost there, that he was so close, that he was gonna come all over your duvet. I need something to do it on, he said, and even that had a shameful frisson of its own. You had a brief flash of him kneeling up and suddenly coming all over your face, or maybe pulling down that ridiculously large neck hole to expose your breasts.

Followed by an image of that thick white liquid coating you, striping you face, dripping off your tight little nipples. Him pushing his cock past your lips to finish off, groaning as he flooded your mouth.

And he would have flooded it, too. You glanced at him just in time to see him shove his sweatpants down, that big dick swelling under the pressure of his too-tight grip. Thick ribbons of come already hitting his bared belly, over and over until you were sure he must be done. He had to be, yet more kept flowing over his still-working fist. You watched it run down over his fingers in slippery trails before pooling in his lap.

Though none of it was what you kept seeing behind your eyes in the aftermath. Instead, you saw the way his face had looked as he shot his load. The open mouth, and the closed eyes, and most of all the strange, wrenching vulnerability that had covered him for a moment. No mischief, no macho bullshit—just a completely open and abandoned sort of ecstasy.

And all of it for you.

He knew you had watched him. He still knew now. You flicked your eyes back to the screen as he started to catch his breath, but the first thing he did was include you.

“Guess I kind of made a mess here,” he said, everything about his tone suggesting two conspirators, finishing off their evil deed. You even got up after he’d said it, to get him a tissue.

Though when You got back he’d pretty much taken care of most of it.

You stopped in the doorway to the bathroom at the sight: Him, casually licking his messy fingers.

It took you a good two minutes after that to go over to him, with your fistful of toilet paper. And when you did go, it was on very shaky legs. Your whole body felt shaky, in fact—though not in any way you’d experienced before. This was like being full to the brim with something burning hot, skin so close to ripping that it couldn’t keep still. Sometimes you thought you could see it shivering slightly under the strain, and every inch of it was tender, so tender. His leg brushed yours as you sat down, and it was agony. You even winced—then immediately regretted it.

He had been concentrating on clean-up. Now he looked up at you sharply.

And asked questions You were loathing to answer.

“Have you…not? I mean have you not—”

“I couldn’t. I’m sorry, I couldn’t.”

“God, you must be bursting.”

“Honestly, I’m fine.”

The problem was though; you didn’t seem fine.

You couldn’t meet his gaze. Your hands were fists on your thighs.

And of course he could see all of that.

“You look like you’re bursting.”

“Oh yeah? And what does bursting look like?”

“Your voice is shaking.”

“Is it?” You asked, voice so light it almost passed.

Almost, almost, almost.

“Your cheeks are flushed.”

“Are they?”

“And then there’s the fact that your nipples are like diamonds. Fuck, look how stiff they are. Isn’t that agonizing, having them like that? I bet your clit’s the same. Bet your pussy is so wet. So wet you’re making a mess of the nice, clean clothes.”

Your cheeks grew hotter and hotter as he whispered each word. By the time he was done they felt like they were going to melt right off you face. That tense, cringing feeling in your stomach was ten times worse, and that was before he got to the last point. The one about the clothes, and the mess, and oh god what if he was right? It felt as if he might be. You weren’t wearing any underwear, and everything was really slippery between your legs. You could feel it, every time You moved.

“Oh fuck, sorry, sorry I don’t…I hope…it’s just that—” You didn’t even know why you were apologizing

“Honey, you don’t need an explanation.”

His tone was like sinking into a warm bath—and the thumb you could feel stroking over you forearm only pulled you deeper down. He just did it so idly. So like he wasn’t touching you at all.

Before you knew it, you were up to your ears in liquid heat.

“Are you sure? Because it kind of feels like I do.”

“I’m sure. I mean, the movie was pretty intense.”

“Right, exactly. Super intense.”

“So why deny yourself?”

“I’m not…denying…anything.”

“I could leave, if you want.”

“No, god no,” You said, too fast and too fierce.v

Though it was only afterward that you realized how it sounded: Not like someone trying to say you didn’t want to masturbate. Like someone saying that you wanted him to stay.

And he took it that way, too.

“Or, you know. I could just…do it for you,” he said.

Then you just had to do your best not to go out of your mind.

You stopped herself from jumping up. Kept your hands from flailing.

Didn’t look at him, in case looking made you do something crazy.

“Oh my god. You can’t be serious. You can’t be serious.”

“Probably wouldn’t take a lot.”

“I always take a lot.”

“Even when you’re alone?”

“Especially when I’m alone.”

“Well, maybe we should see about that.”

Again, you had the urge to get up. Maybe you even would have, if it hadn’t been for the other things he was doing. The thumb stroking your arm was now the back of his hand, running the length of your arm over and over. And that was his breath against the curve of your throat, so close and warm he could have been kissing you there. It felt like kissing.

Only without the scariness of the real thing.

All of this was without the scariness of the real thing. It was just a game, that was all—and one that you could win if you really put you mind to it. He thought he could get you so easily, but he was utterly and completely wrong. You were a rock, in the face of whatever he was going to do. You were impervious to the pleasure he seemed to think he was going to dole out, to the point where you almost laughed when he slipped his hand beneath the waistband of those too-big sweatpants.

It was weird. Slightly uncomfortable.

Not sexy in the least.

And then his fingertips just oh-so-lightly grazed the pouting lips of your swollen pussy, and things pretty much started to go downhill from there. The sensation it sent through you was just so intense, and over something so small. He hadn’t even slipped between them to your clit, or eased a finger into your slick little hole. In truth, you weren’t entirely sure he’d touched you at all.

Yet you still had to clench your jaw.

You had to tell herself that it was just the stuff that had happened before—the film and him coming and then licking his fingers like a satisfied cat. It wasn’t anything to do with this right now, with him touching you, with his skill. He wasn’t skilful at all. He was terrible. Awful.

he worst lover you had ever had.

You had no idea why your thighs were trembling. Or what made you moan when he finally, finally, finally eased his fingers into that slick slit, and then topped it off by telling you just what he found there.

“Ohhhh fuuuuck you are wet. You’re so wet. Jesus Christ, Y/N, how can you stand it? How can you sit still and quiet with those eyes closed when your pussy is like this? So slippery I can just glide all the way down and ease on in and oh man, oh man,” he said, and all You could do in response was shiver and make a number of embarrassing noises. First for his words, and then oh god then for the feel of him doing it.

He used two fingers—two of those long, thick fingers—yet somehow it didn’t hurt when he pushed into you. There was no fumbling or searching. Your body just seemed to open for him, as though they’d dated for years and he’d worked on you for hours. He knew exactly how to touch you there, and when he did you simply had to respond. Your gasp rung out in the small room.Though you vowed it would be the last one. That was it now—you weren’t going to give him the satisfaction of anything else. Not even when he started working his fingers in and out, slow and steady and so unbelievably good. you kind of wanted to cry over the unfairness of it. Why was he the one who had to be so good at this? How did he know how to do it in this deliberate, teasing, tantalizing way?

Even watching him do it was exciting. You made the mistake of glancing down and all you could see was his hand rolling beneath the material, the waistband occasionally stretching to give you a glimpse of your glossy cunt, his gleaming fingers, the way you were spread around that thick intrusion…

Fuck.

You had to look at the screen just to stop yourself coming right then and there—though even those measures had an exciting quality of their own. James Spader was just doing something incredibly dull now, while you sat here watching through slitted eyelids, cheeks flushed and legs spread, as a man slowly fingered your slick, flushed pussy. Back and forth, back and forth, until you were so beside yourself you weren’t sure you even wanted to hold back your moans. You only knew that you were still trying, for reasons that seemed vague and far away now. It just doesn’t matter, your mind hissed, but you kept it up anyway. You held yourself more tightly and bit deep into your lip—deep enough that you tasted blood. And when he started to ease those fingers up, you shut your eyes tight. You thought of other things, more boring things: dry books and bird-watching. All to no avail. He made one circle around your clit.

Just one tiny, insignificant circle, and that was it. Your orgasm rolled up from that stiff little bud, in one all-consuming and all-powerful wave. It took away your control over your body—your toes curled tight and your back arched. But most important, it took away your control over your mouth. It let one little word slip out.

Though one little word was more than enough.

“Jungkook,” You said, and after that the game was pretty much up. That was gratitude in your voice and pleasure in the sigh behind it, and all wrapped in the neat little bow of his name. There was no more pretending that it wasn’t him who had made you feel this way, or suggesting that all of this was just a game.And he knew it immediately. He kept up the thrusts of his long, thick fingers, helping you prolong the feeling of your orgasm for as long as possible. And he didn’t stop there. Your face was starting to contort from the oversensitivity and it was obvious that Jungkook knew it too from the way he bit his lip and started to purposely move his fingers faster once again.

“Ahh! J-Jungkook… I can’t….” You moaned out, though this seemed to have no effect on him as he seemed determined to elicit another orgasm from you. His fingers scraping against your tightening walls as they fought to repeatedly slam back inside you. Your thighs were shaking, your eyes half lidded, leaning back on your hands as his worked between your legs. Suddenly you gripped Jungkook’s moving hand as you came dangerously close to letting go.

“That’s it, fuck, cum again for me Y/N. I need this. You need this” He almost sounded desperate and it made you want to sob because everything was so fucking hot.

With a cry of his name, you came undone again, your body almost curling in towards itself from the sensitivity.

“Holy shit, holy shit,” he said, as though you’d cried out the filthiest thing on the face of the earth. And, again, he didn’t stop there. You could hear him fumbling with the waistband of his sweatpants already—though you tried to turn it into something else in your head. He was just pulling them up, you thought. They had slid down as he serviced you, that was all.

Only it wasn’t all.

When you made the mistake of glancing his way, you saw so much more than you were ready for. It was supposed to be over now, completely over, but he’d shoved everything down to mid-thigh and his cock was in his hand again and god god god why was it so arousing? You’d had cum twice already. He’d had one orgasm already, and now he was being so fucking filthy.

Yet somehow the filthiness only made it worse.

You came searingly close to telling him yes.

And go on.

And come all over me—just like you’d imagined.

For one wild second, it even seemed like he might. He was groaning and panting and he kept saying things, incredible things like “do you see what you do to me do you get how fucking horny you make me oh fuck just hearing you moan my name”. His hand was heavy on your shoulder, and you knew he was close. He was going to yank your top down any second now.

Any second, you thought.

Though you didn’t realize how much you wanted it until the first thick burst slid over his fist.

Didn’t know how little control you had over herself until he grunted your name and shuddered violently, that slick fluid easing over his still-pumping fist. After all, if you’d had any you would have stayed right where you were, content to just watch.Instead of leaning forward to take that heavy, swollen, slippery head in your mouth, to catch the last ribbons of his salt-sweet cum all over your eager tongue.

“Fucking fuck, Jagiya” Jungkook cursed loudly, watching you take the head of his cock in your mouth. He slid his hands in your hair, gripping it from the bottom of your skull gently, rocking your face back and forth, riding out the last of his high. You looked up at him, eye still glassed over, breathing hard and laboured and slid the head of him out of your mouth.

There was no doubt that Jungkook was shocked at your boldness but he seemed pleasantly surprised. His pupils blown out, lips swollen, skin gleaming. He truly was a work of art. The magnitude of what you two had done hit you hard. So, naturally, there was only one thing left to do in panic.

Kick him out.

“Jungkook…you need to leave”

A/N: So, Idk what happened but yeah hope you all enjoy. Not sure if I’ll make this a series since I’m bad at continuing ideas. I may stick to separate scenarios. I get bored easily. However, please feel free to check out my blog and send me ideas for new fics

“A Date with Markiplier”, Darkiplier Theory.

After watching “A Date with Markiplier” multiple times, and replaying and replaying the parts where Darkiplier is featured; I have created a theory as to why Dark acts the way he does (In these videos, not as whole). Now, let me first start off by saying, this probably, (definitely) is not the BEST Dark theory out there. And there are probably holes are mistakes in this theory, or repeating themes. But nonetheless, it is a theory that I have created that is interesting.. hopefully. Note: This theory comes with spoilers! If you haven’t watched the whole video, or at least the Dark parts, please do. (The video and Darkiplier parts are linked above.) And even if it may not seem like it, I worked really hard and long on this theory. (Literally about 3 days. And typing all of this up took about 2-4 hours.) So please treat it with respect. (But don’t be afraid to add your own theories or thoughts on this! Feedback is always welcome. Positive or negative. Just don’t be a butt about it.) So, without further ado, let us begin! I hope you have the patience to read it all. Enjoy! 

This theory is mainly based on the parts where you are confronted by Dark while you are watching “The Dark Mark”. What you are going to read below is me basically showing images of Dark, taking direct quotes he has said in the videos, and explaining why he is saying what he does. 

We start off by having Dark glitch and fade into view. He tilts his head to the side, saying he has missed us very much. And that he has been waiting a long time to see us again. 

Then he continues on saying: “I’ve been pushed asideReplacedMocked.” Now this caught my attention even from the beginning. How has Dark been pushed aside, replaced, and mocked? Who has done this to him? Why? I tried to reflect more on what that meant, but Dark kept talking, catching my attention even more…

Who is “He”? And why does Dark think this… “He” is going on an adventure with us? Why and how was Dark not invited to it? 

Dark continues…

Dark mentions “He” again. Saying this person promised he would let him in. Again. Who promised Dark and what promise was made between them? 

This is where the theory begins. The main idea of this theory is based on a small post I made a while ago. If you have already read it, then you’ll understand where I’m going with this. If not, I suggest you read it really quick HERE

And now… we shall truly begin. 

Dark begins our one-sided conversation with: “I’ve been pushed aside, replaced, mocked.” But what also connects with this statement is what he says later: “ I’ve been waiting patientlyHe promised he would let me in again!” Now, since Dark is basically Mark’s inner demon, I could only assume that the “He” Dark keeps talking about is Mark. But what promise did Mark make with Dark? This is where I start to lean back on my older theory I hope you have read. 

I believe that Dark is in love with us. Or… at least has some sort of feelings for us. Or is at least curious about us. So, I think in the past Dark asked Mark permission to take control over Mark’s body so that he could spend time with us. Get to know the person he has unexplainable feelings for. Mark complied. Promising Dark that one day, Dark would have the opportunity to talk to us. But that day never came. And now Dark feels as if he has been Pushed aside. Replaced. And Mocked. These feelings have been repressed, but now since Mark is on this “adventure”, or “date” with us, Dark’s feelings and anger have come out. Dark feels that he has been pushed aside because he literally has been pushed aside. This date was supposed to be the date Dark was finally allowed to spend time with us. But instead… he got pushed. Pushed into the deepest, darkest, places of Mark’s mind. Mark didn’t want Dark to come out on this date. Because he was planning, later down the road, to propose to us. And he didn’t want Dark to ruin it. So Mark took over Dark, replacing him, even though he promised Dark that he would be allowed to take control. And now, Dark feels angry, hurt, and mocked. Mocked because today was supposed to be his day with us. But now he has to watch us through Mark’s eyes. Unable to do anything. Unable to talk to us and ask the questions he’s always wanted to ask. All he can do is stand back and watch the person he has feelings for go on a date with someone who betrayed him.

“And then he had the gall not to invite me to his little adventure with you.” This connects to what I said above. Mark has pushed Dark aside and didn’t allow him to take over on the date. Quite literally, he wasn’t invited on the date. He was casted away and replaced. But the one word Dark said that caught my attention was: “Adventure”. Why did Dark call it an adventure when he knew it was a date. A proposal, even? I believe the reason to be simple. Dark is angry and jealous right now. He doesn’t even want to call the event we are going on with Mark as a “date”. So, instead, he calls it an adventure. Making it easier on him and his heart. Also hoping in that calling it an adventure, he’ll make Mark look silly and foolish. As if he doesn’t know what a real “date” is. 

This part was very interesting. After saying all he said, spewing out his anger and frustration, Dark fixes his tie and suit, straightening up and saying: “ I’m tired of giving people a choice.” From what we have learned earlier, this sentence can only mean that he is tired of giving Mark the choice on controlling when and where he can allow him to take control.

But then, Dark sighs, saying: “But I suppose I could give you one last option.” Hearing Dark say this was extremely odd to me. Didn’t he just say that he was tired of giving people (Mark) a choice? But yet right after, he turns around to give us options and the ability to choose? I think he does this because no matter how closed off or frustrated he may get, he still wants to give the us the ability to choose. Since he has some sort of feelings for us, he doesn’t want to force us into something we don’t want to do. 

He continues: “Take your pick. Anything of four different choices, more than he could’ve ever given you.” Why did Dark give us so many options. Why did he bitterly say “more than he could have ever given you.”? And why did all options but one actually lead to a place that continues the story? 

I think the bitter remark and the option of more choices go back to Dark’s “adventure” statement. He wants to make Mark look foolish. Make Mark look like he can’t provide for us as much as he can. Even if it’s something simple as being able to go more places. But why, in giving us all these options, did only one actually go somewhere? It’s because, even though Dark does have feelings for us, he still is “dark”. He is still evil, demonic, etc. He purposefully made only one option that actually goes somewhere. He makes us go on a “date” with him (later on) the only way he knows how. Manipulation and Illusion. He gives us the illusion of choice, when really he manipulated it so there is only one right way. And that is to go on a date and spend time with him. 

This makes him sound pretty evil doesn’t it? That he just manipulates and cheats his way through until he gets what he wants. And that may be true, but.. At the same time, it’s actually pretty sad. That is all he knows. To cheat, to steal, and manipulate… Dark was toyed with and replaced. Promised he would be allowed to be with us. But that didn’t happen. And now Dark is forced to make his own path. Struggle to take control over Mark, and find a way to where we will spend time with him. Not Mark.

“So take your pick. Show me what you’ve got. And maybe… We’ll have a good date after all.” Wait what?! Did Dark look down shyly at the ground… Smile… And say “Date”?! This really blew my mind after I watched it a couple times.

After taunting us on by saying: “Show me what you’ve got.” Dark pauses, his face suddenly seems to soften. “And maybe…” He cracks what looks to be a smile and briefly looks down at the ground, “ We’ll have a good date after all.” He looks back up, but his face and body immediately harden and become cold and static once more. What just happened?! Mark randomly says “Maybe we’ll have a good date after all.” And he shows emotion and smiles? Why does he do this? I think I know why. 

Obviously, Dark has been waiting to spend time with us. And now that he has Mark under control and is alone with us, he finally realizes that his dream of being with us is soon to become reality. He smiles and quickly looks down to hide his emotion that he is excited for this long awaited day. And, instead of calling it an “adventure” like he did when he vaguely defined our outing with Mark, he says “date”. Making it official and saying it more for himself than us. But then, after he realizes he slipped: showing emotion and calling our alone time a “date”, his face hardens and he composes himself back into the stone cold Darkiplier once more. But in trying so hard to compose himself, he lets a small, angry frown dance dance across his face before straightening. Showing that he is angry with himself for showing so much ambition.

(Note: Phew! This is a lot of writing! I hope you guys are doing ok and you like this! Stay in your seat, there’s a lot more to yet come!)

*We choose “Freedom”*

“If dinner is what you want then I can provide…” We are now officially on what Dark described as a date. He glitches and we are suddenly sitting at a table with what looks to be a cup and a bottle of wine to the side. As I watched and rewatched this, I found it interesting that Dark chose to place us in a dinner date situation. The same setting we were at when we were with Mark. And say things like: “I can provide…” Why did he place us in a dinner date setting? Why did he say if we wanted dinner, then he could provide it? The answer is interesting. 

Remember, the whole date you were having with Mark, Dark was also seeing and experiencing. So that means, Dark was there even for when Mark misplaced his wallet, making you have to pay for the meal. This obviously annoyed Dark. Enough to the point where he had to physically point out and show us that if we wanted dinner, he could pay. He could provide us with a meal. This is basically a big slap in the face to Mark. Once again, Dark is trying to make Mark look idiotic and that the outing/ date we were on with Mark, wasn’t a date after all. And that he can do a better job on planning a date and providing.   

The date carries on. “And I can take you wherever you’d like to go…” I found this odd when Dark said this. It’s kind of a random thing to say on a date isn’t it? But it all makes more sense when you look at it this way:

Near the beginning and basically throughout our whole date with Mark, he keeps saying that he has our whole day planned out. And that he can’t wait to take us to certain places. I think Dark said this as yet another jab towards Mark. Mark had our whole day planned, swiftly leading us from one location to another. But Dark said: “ I can take you wherever you’d like to go..” almost as a counteroffer to what Mark was doing for us. There is a sense of freedom when Dark says he can take us wherever we would like to go. A sense of freedom and choice. Dark seems to be using this statement to try and make him look more appealing to us than Mark. Possibly even more fun or risky than Mark.  

After Dark states he can take us anywhere, he then dumps this heavy and scary: “I can especially take you to where you don’t want to go..” on us. 

Honestly, I was a little confused on why he would say this. Is it because he’s “dark” and evil and he would actually enjoy to take us places we would hate? Or is he using some weird, vague form of reverse phycology? Is he saying that “the places where we don’t want to go…” is back to Mark? It would kind of make sense. After saying and telling us of all the things he can do for us and provide for us, the last thing he would want is for us to still choose and go back to Mark. But he says that he can take us to where we don’t want to go, meaning that he would take us back to Mark if we chose that. 

Dark continues to talk, but then he begins to glitch and shake. He is then suddenly screaming: “I can give you anything!” And then as fast as it came, it goes, and he continues talk to us normally saying: “I’ve been waiting a long time. To get some personal time between us…” Ok… What just happened here? He was screaming one minute and then normal again the next?

I think Dark glitches and screams “I can give you anything!”, because he momentarily looses his composure. He’s been spending a good portion of this date trying to show us that he can provide for us and comparing himself to Mark. I think he starts to become frustrated in himself and how we aren’t reacting the way he would have hoped. Thus, his inner voice comes out, screaming, frustrated and angry that we can’t understand that he can give and provide everything we want and need.

After his short episode, he continues talking. Saying he’s been waiting a long time to “get some personal time between us…” I think he’s saying this because the only time he has ever been with us, or has “spent time with us”, is when he is being pushed to the back of Mark’s mind and has to watch from the sidelines and listen and hear Mark’s words and thoughts. But now that he has finally taken over Mark, he can truly get the personal alone time he’s always lusted over.      

The date continues, and Dark has one more episode. But what happens next is interesting. Dark says: “So.. Now that we are here together… We should really get to know each other…” And then suddenly, it looks like Dark is split in two. One part of him thrashing around and screaming. Why? Because it’s Mark… Trying to escape Dark’s possession of his body. 

Remember, this whole time we have been with Dark, Mark has been there, watching and listening to what Dark is saying. (Which also explains why at times, Dark twitches his head. Its because Mark is there in the back of his mind try to take control once again.) So Mark has been fighting Dark this whole time, and it seems Dark is slowly running out of time and loosing control, hence the episodes he keeps having. But notice where Mark made a big push to take control when he did. He did it right after Dark said we should “get to know each other…” It seems as if Mark didn’t like the idea of Dark getting to know us, and vise versa. Probably thinking Dark is going to take advantage of us at some point on the date. So, he tries and puts all his strength in trying to take back control before Dark can do anything to us. But once again, as quickly as it starts, Dark glitches and the image of Mark is gone, and Dark is back to normal.  

You just need to let me in… It’s as simple as that…

When I first heard this, I thought that Dark meant that we should allow him into our mind or soul. But as I began to create this theory, I began to think… What if Dark didn’t mean our soul or mind… But our heart? I mean, during this whole date he has been trying and trying to show us how much better he is than Mark, and how he can do all these things for us. Basically saying, how he can care and love us, just in a very “Darkiplier” way. What if he just wants to be loved by us. Accepted by us? And the only way he knows how to say that is something off putting like: “You just need to let me in..” Maybe all he wants is just a chance  with us. A chance to show how much he cares and ask us why he is feeling the way he does about us? 

After asking us to place him in our heart, and give him a chance, Dark then takes us outside. Believing that he has taken full control over Mark and boasting about it by saying: “You’re never, EVER, going to escape me…Not now-” He is confronted by Mark, in physical form. (Now this part can basically just completely eradicate my theory that Dark has taken over Mark, and not that they are two different people with their own bodies. Now that theory, COULD technically work here, but I decided I like the “Mark and Dark are two in one” theory better. Since Dark IS essentially Mark’s inner-demon. So I’m going to say that this part is actually where Mark gains some power within his mind, and now Dark and Mark are fighting for dominance.) 

After they fight for a while, a gun is dropped and you now have to decide to choose whether to shoot the left or right Mark. Later on, we find out the the Right is Dark, and Left is Mark. And this is where I was confused with what they are saying until I put up the captions. And what each of them were saying was interesting. 

Left Mark (the real Mark) starts off by saying: “You don’t have much time he’s going to kill everybody.” 

While Right Mark (Dark) says: “Shoot him. He needs to die.” 

The thing I found interesting was what they both first said to defend themselves. Left Mark (Mark), immediately starts off by saying that: There isn’t much time, and that Right Mark is going to kill everyone. Mark is trying to warn us. While Right Mark (Dark), just simply says off instinct: “Shoot him. He needs to die.”… Now that’s harsh. Mark just wants to warn us that if we don’t shoot Dark, we will all die. So he’s trying to save both us and himself. But Dark just spurts out that Mark NEEDS to die. No note of concern, or worry. No thought of what might happen afterwards. They keep talking, still trying to convince us: 

 Mark says: “He’s got weird eyes. Don’t trust him at all.” 

While Dark says: “He does bad things to good people.” 

Now, the thing I found extremely interesting was this part right here. Mark says that Dark has weird eyes, which is true. He is known for having completely Dark eyes. But how he said the next part is what caught my attention. Mark said: “DON’T trust him at all.”. He didn’t say “I don’t trust him at all.” But simply, “Don’t trust him…” Therefore, Mark was telling US not to trust Dark. It was a command. Because he knows what Dark is able to do. 

What Dark says also caught my attention. Why would Dark say: “He does bad things to good people.”? Isn’t Dark supposed to be the “bad guy” here? Manipulating and weaving around things to get to what he wants? True, that is what he did to get us to date him. But just because he did those things, do you think he even wanted to? We have already proven that in the past, Dark asked for permission to spend time with us. But since that didn’t happen, Dark had to take control. All because Mark betrayed his promise to Dark. So maybe, Dark is saying “He does bad things to good people.” Because he’s hurt and angry that Mark didn’t fill out his promise. That Mark led him on only to be trapped in the back of his mind again, while he got ready to propose to the person Dark had feelings for without even been given a chance. 

After we shoot Left Mark, Right Mark comes over saying: “You made the right call. Come here, it’s okay, it’s okay.” Assuring us and embracing us. We then continue the date by getting ice cream. We sit down while Right Mark continues to talk, saying: “We’ll enjoy some nice, dairy-based treats. And erm, get to know other. Really, personally…” We then begin to eat our ice cream when the screen flickers and glitches. We look back up and are greeted to see Dark sitting across form us. Dark then says: “Oops. Looks like you’ve made the wrong choice. But now we’re going to be together… forever.”

When I first watched this side of the date, I paid no regard to what Right Mark said. But after rewatching the mini date we had with Dark, and going back to this, I noticed something. Dark always seems to talk about getting to know us, or getting close to us. Spending personal time with with. Before, during our private date with Dark, he said: “I’ve been waiting a long time. To get some personal time between us…”  So when right Mark said: “Really, personally…” It became obvious that it was Dark sitting in front of us. After Dark transforms into his true self, he then says: “Oops. Looks like you’ve made the wrong choice.” I believe Dark said this because he knew, that if we knew who the real Mark was back when we had to decide who to shoot, we would have chosen the real Mark hands down. So he kept quiet. Hoping that with luck, he could say the right words and look innocent enough and emulate Mark, that we would shoot the wrong man. Before we are met with “Try Again?”, Dark continues, “But now we’re going to be together..forever.” and smiles. The first time I heard this, it sounded creepy, and some of you might think so as well. But I think Dark said this because he was finally free. Free of Mark’s hold on him. And free to be with the person he is curious about and has unexplained feelings for. He’s finally free to provide and care for us, without Mark battling for control in the back of his mind. Because that part of him is now dead. He can finally get to know us. Get that personal, intimate time he has always yearned for. He’s finally found freedom from being pushed aside. Being replaced and being mocked. He can finally have a true chance with us. A chance… for us to let him into our heart. Because we’ve always been in his.     

The Last Word

I was rewatching that episode of Community where Abed and Troy kept hitting each other with pillows because they didn’t want their friendship to be over, and I just kind of liked the idea of an argument stretching out ridiculously long just because 2 people don’t want to stop talking ^^

college AU.

read it here on AO3!

“Dean, this is Cas - Cas, Dean,” Jo said, calling over the thudding music in the bar where they were standing, propping up the bar. She had a hand on Dean’s shoulder, and she gave him a little shake. “I’ve been meaning to introduce you guys since forever. I just know you’re gonna get on great. Cas, Dean likes philosophy, and psychology - that kind of thing!”

“I’m, uh - an armchair philosopher at best,” Dean said, throwing Jo a look that said, as clearly as he could without words, don’t play me up too much. Cas, the guy standing in front of him, was quite clearly out of Dean’s league - tall, lean, with the looks of an Athenian hero and the expression of a Roman statue, chiselled and unsmiling. Dean took a hefty swig of his drink, and smiled charmingly.

Well, he thought, you never know until you’ve tried.

“So, are you a Freud or a Jung kind of guy?” he said. Jo clapped his shoulder and moved off, evidently satisfied with the opener and feeling as though her introductory duties were complete. Dean watched after her for a second as she went, taking her social skills with her.

It wasn’t that Dean was bad in social situations - it was only that when there was just him and an undeniably cute guy, things tended to get a little… flustered. Jo, on the other hand, was perfectly at ease, and good at smoothing over the stupid things his runaway mouth tended to say -

“You can go and talk to her instead,” said Cas, and Dean started and looked back at him guiltily. Cas’ expression was unreadable, watching him watch after Jo. “Please, feel no obligation to enjoy my company.”

Dean blinked. Cas raised his eyebrows.

“I’m, uh, I’m - uh,” Dean said, wrongfooted. “I was just -”

“And I think - Jung,” Cas said, cutting through his fumbling. “Freud’s theories are too rooted in misogyny and phobia to be of any interest beyond the influential and contextual, for me.”

Dean swallowed.

This is going great, said a little voice in his head.

Keep reading

7

Long story short I was about to go on a dinner date with this man at 7pm. Met on SA. A little online research and I find out he was arrested for child porn, meth possession, drugging people and poking holes in condoms and he’s HIV positive.

He signed his message Doug even though his name is different. Then I asked for a photo and he sent me a selfie from work. Which email was signed Doug, but the email was from John Wallace.

I felt bad because I thought he was trying to fake his name for his own privacy and didn’t want to call him out for the error, so I ignored it. But I texted him a few hours before dinner and ask if he goes by Doug or John, and he said Doug.

So I called he restaurant and asked if they had a 7pm reservation under Doug and they said yes, and gave me the last name.  When I typed in John Wallace Doctor on google, this came up.  He had literally dyed his hair, put on glasses, shaved to change his look. But the facial features are exactly the same. The name matched up. Everything.

And when I typed in Douglas Luce (the name the girl at the restaurant told me), this came up. He had created a fake website for his “child psychiatric practice” that is so vague and nonexistent.

Here’s his most recent and current photo. I reported him on SA but I am so scared for fellow SBs. It’s honestly making my stomach churn. I called the cops and they came over to talk to me and they said since he technically didn’t threaten me there was nothing that could be done. He literally changed his ENTIRE appearance and hid himself  so well online. But imagine if I wouldn’t have caught that email error, who knows what would’ve happened. He was so classy and kind and well spoken, made the reservations and everything. I am so nauseated. And he’s roaming the streets, protected and fine.The charges are disgusting. It’s so fucking scary and this man is a premium member on SA.

So I’m listening to be more chill and I just finished act 1 and,,,,

HOW

DARE

JEREMY

DO

THIS

TO

MY

BOY

MICHAEL????????????