when he had all his teeth :d

anonymous asked:

ooh oh Dean's speech to Jack about “If you’re a monster, we’re all monsters” is similar to Cas' speech to Claire about how there is a monster in all of us

Yeah! Nice catch. He kind of Claire-d Jack a couple of times. I noticed when he was telling Jack about how it could be “anything with teeth” he was being grumpy but he had been much fairer to Jack all episode for… reasons… and I honestly saw it as a “do your homework” thing because Jack was getting too eager to have solved it and fixating on his idea of what it was based off minimal evidence. 

With Claire he made her sit down and do her homework and read up on angels and that’s how they got the answer, and he was trying to teach her not to hunt like a dumbass. Jack was doing well with learning some of the tracking tools and patterns, but he didn’t plan well and he got the idea it was zombies and couldn’t be budged, and asking about cold spots blew the case for them a bit. 

Wait, crap, I was trying to remember a recent episode where that happened and it wasn’t, it was 9x13 which I just recently rewatched, where Donna recognised Sam and blew the case for them.

*scratches that thought out of my watching notes*

Oh also hi I’m weirdly addled on some migraine medication and I should have put the disclaimer at the top  :P

Glitter Ball

I’ve been seeing some discussion in past few days about how unrealistic it is that Bitty doesn’t hang out with other queer kids at Samwell, which is a valid point, and it reminded me I had a fic languishing in my drafts folder that involved an expanded look at the LGBTQIA group on campus, so I figured maybe the time had come to post it. It’s more about Dex than Bitty, because I started it as a response to the “Dex is homophobic” discourse, so this is from a “Dex has never been straight, he just doesn’t think it’s any of your business” perspective.

(It’s the beginning of a longer fic called “I Abhor You/I Adore You” that’s kind of an exercise in filling in all the gaps between the Nurseydex tweets and fleshing out the non-hockey parts of Samwell, but who knows if I’ll ever finish it.)

~4.5k, pre-slash Nurseydex, mostly Dex POV, guest appearances by Bitty, Holster, and a few OCs from the LGBTQIA group. Location of the IT helpdesk across the hall from the resource center entirely stolen from my own tiny liberal arts school, “the little gay college in the middle of Iowa.”

Read it on AO3 (now with the second chapter as well).


First year, first semester

Dex got a job with the helpdesk almost as soon as he got to campus. This wasn’t exactly normal for an unknown, untested, untried, and undeclared first year student, but he had references from his high school job and there was a constant shortage of people who actually knew how to do anything with hardware. Which, of course, was the thing most of the professors actually needed help with. They weren’t actually receiving a lot of emergency Python coding calls; they needed someone who could “make the goddamn printer talk to the computer” without pissing anyone off by being too condescending.

He enjoyed it; compared to having to do the same thing in a retail environment, this was downright relaxing, and he at least had some confidence the people he was helping weren’t complete idiots. He could even leave behind a Post-It of step-by-step instructions of how to fix the problem themselves next time and have it be followed at least 50% of the time! Not to mention his work-study hours as a student athlete were actually capped and enforced so he wouldn’t work himself to death. So relaxing when compared to high school, when he’d had to juggle IT work, lobster fishing, hockey, and grades good enough to get some kind of scholarship.

Since he’d gotten to campus early to start pre-season practice with the hockey team, he’d been able to establish a work routine before adding in classes, which had been helpful. The CS classes at Samwell were certainly more demanding, but that was why he was here, wasn’t it? All in all, he was pretty satisfied with how things were shaping up. (Now if only his d-partner weren’t such an entitled brat…)

Once the other students got back to campus, it became clear the helpdesk office wasn’t the only thing housed in the weird little building at the edge of campus. He was just ending a shift when a girl stuck her head in the door. “Would it be possible to get some quick help from anybody? It’s just across the hall.”

“I can do it,” Dex said. “I was just about to leave anyway.”

“Thank you!” She led the way into what appeared to be an all-purpose meeting room. The door now had a handmade rainbow sign taped to it, proclaiming it the Stonewall Resource Center. “We’re having our first meeting of the year tonight, and of course the one person who remembers how to work the projector is on study abroad this semester.”

“No problem. You hooking it up to a laptop?”

“Yeah.”

Dex walked over to the AV podium at the front of the room and fished out the giant cluster of cables and dongles. “Hopefully one of these will work, but we have adapters in the office for just about anything. Bring it over.” A minute or so later, he had everything working.

“Thank you so much!”

“Sure. I mean, it’s my job anyway.”

“Do I need to file a ticket or something?”

“Eh, whatever.”

“Um, you’re welcome to stay for the meeting if you want…”

“What’s it for? I mean, I can guess, but your sign wasn’t even up when I came in at the beginning of my shift, so, you know.”

“Yeah, basically it’s just a beginning of the year informational meeting for students about LGBTQIA resources on campus and a way to get those of us who are returning students to get started organizing other events. So maybe not super interesting.”

“No, it sounds like good information to have. I’ll stick around.”

She smiled at him. “Great! I’m Sam.”

“Will. Or Dex. I answer to either.”

“Nice to meet you.”

***

“So do you think you’ll come back?” Sam asked after the meeting was over. Dex had stayed to help her turn off the projector and leave a sticky note with the steps written down. (He was thinking about getting a set custom-printed with “Helping You Help Yourself!” across the bottom, though he suspected his boss would find this too snarky.)

“Probably not. I mean, not to regular meetings or anything—you can totally ask me for help anytime! I’m just kind of… past the place where I need this kind of group? And I’ve got hockey practice and CS classes that are kind of the point of my being here, so they take priority, you know?”

“Sure thing.”

“But you know where to find me! Seriously, I’m always happy to help. It looks like a great group. But I know I can’t commit to anything.”

“Cool. I’ll see you around then, yeah? Oh, hey, if you have any time on Friday, you should come to the softball game. We’re gonna slay.”

Dex grinned and offered his fist for a bump of solidarity. “You’ll have to come to a hockey game once the season starts.”

“Definitely.”

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rosefyrefyre  asked:

Tony has to stay awake for a very long time for some reason, and when he finally is allowed to rest, he physically can't, so the rest of the Avengers (but especially Steve) take care of him until he can.

With two hours to deadline, Tony finally managed to unsnag the last line of code and send it through. A new smart AI bot, one designed for searching and detonating IEDs so soldiers wouldn’t have to, whirred to life and aimed its tiny periscope cam at him inquisitively, awaiting input. The right mix of AI–not so sophisticated that army programmers could turn it into an offensive weapon, but not so improbably slow that it failed to do its job. Three iterations ago it’d tried to bring the dummy bomb to Tony, and that was clearly a no go, so he’d started the code from the bottom up and programmed until the edges of his vision went blurry. It needed testing. Testing.

“Find,” Tony grunted and the bot happily rolled off to the mock test range. “Not perfect,” Tony murmured, slumping down against the table to watch. “Just functional. Just need you to do your job. Can tweak later.” It’s little treads bumbled across sand and rocks, grinding a little in a way that, just for a moment, sent Tony back five years in time. His fingers clenched compulsively at the table before he forced himself to let go.

In the sandbox, the little bot scanned back and forth with infrared and ground-penetrating sonar and blessedly, beautifully, it located the payload. The shovel arm activated and started digging. Tony nearly wept.

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late nights – day 21

spoopy kinktober drabbles – NC17

Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk x Kim Taehyung

Prompt: Groping
     ↪ content: public, handjob in the subway, mild exhibitionism, brief name-calling 

Word Count: 2,400 words

NOTE: I missed two days due to traveling, sorry for that! D: I’ll be making up for it (hopefully!)

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Find You

I’ve written a lot, esp for Sterek but I’ve never once posted…. Today is a new day I suppose…..

Find You -

“Derek,” Stiles cried clutching the man’s shirt. He’d been here before, he heard in the back of his mind, leaning over Derek, begging him to come back. Somehow, Stiles knew this time would be different. And then Derek gasped a breath and the younger man wanted to launch himself forward but the sound of wolves gone feral echoed through the air.

“R-Run,” Derek choked, drops of blood pooling at the corners of his mouth.
“No,” Stiles huffed, his heart shattering. “Please, not you. Everyone is gone, not you. I-I can’t do this without you.”
“S-Stiles, please,” Derek reached up and cupped his cheek. He’d refused to touch him for so long, not wanting to greedily latch onto the boy despite that he knew, he KNEW Stiles would happily accept him with open arms. “You c-can’t die here, n-not now.”

Stiles bit down hard on his lower lip, so Derek couldn’t smell the blood, the pain, he was to far gone and Stiles was right behind him.
“We’re all that’s left, why does it matter where I die or when?” Stiles dropped his head down, resting against Derek’s chest, the wolf’s heart beat slower then normal, his body felt cooler.
“Ple-Please live Stiles-”
“You can’t ask that of me,” Stiles snapped, jerking back. “You can’t. My dad… Scott… They’re all… They’re…”
“Stiles,” Derek reached for him again with a shaking hand. Stiles didn’t hesitate, hands fisting into Derek’s shirt before he shoved all emotions into a kiss, a clumsy, teeth clattering kiss.

“It’s too late,” Stiles whispered as he pressed his forehead to Derek’s.
“I d-don’t-”
Stiles gripped his hand and placed it over the hole in his side, the feral had ripped a pretty decent gash. Derek obviously couldn’t see how pale he was, Stiles knew he’d lost to much blood so he’d never be able to run from the wolves.

At the thought a howl erupted nearby and when Stiles looked down, Derek’s eyes were filled with tears.
“I-I lov-”
“I know,” Stiles sighed and leaned back down. “I know big guy. I love you too.”
“I wish… I wish I’d said it s-sooner. D-Done something s-sooner,” Derek’s breathing sounded wet now as Stiles maneuvered to lie beside him, head still on his chest.
“It doesn’t matter,” Stiles said because it didn’t, not now. They’d lost everyone, failed to protect the last people they had and now it was just them.
“I-”
“In another life,” Stiles cut Derek off. “In another world, we’d be good for each other and we wouldn’t lose everyone. Maybe werewolves-”
“You’d be m-mine,” Derek huffed out. “I’d find you, w-wouldn’t waste t-time.”

The growls were merely feet away and Stiles knew this was it, these wolves would finish the job they had started. He figured he should be afraid, but lying next to Derek, knowing what he knew, he could only think one thing. “I’ll find you,” he choked. “I’ll find you Der, in the next life, I’ll find you and we will make sure that we make it. That all of us make it.”
“I-” Derek choked, coughing blood. “I’ll m-meet you h-half way.”

Stiles smiled, a broken, unseen smile but he did, clutching onto the last piece of his heart and throwing out the wish that they’d get the opportunity, knowing Derek meant exactly what he said. And then the world fell away.

“Stiles!”

The young emissary took in a harsh breath as the colors of his own world filled his vision once more. Deaton had warned him that these spells were dangerous, which is why he chose the smart plan to do this alone so no one else could get hurt. And yet… Scott was standing off to the side, looking like a kicked puppy and Derek was leaned over him, hand fisted to his side. That’s when the sting in his cheek registered.
“Ow,” he blinked up at the older man, Derek’s shoulders visibly slumped in relief.
“Oh thank God,” Lydia sighed. Stiles rolled his head back to see the red head lingering near his window, Allison stood beside her, hands laced.
“What happened,” Stiles croaked.

“You died,” Isaac said bluntly.
“Asshole,” Erica snipped from beside him, Boyd had taken up the desk chair.

“Kid, I gotta say,” his father sighed from the doorway. “I agreed to the training but I thought you’d do it under supervision.”
“Sorry pops, this was different,” Stiles grinned as he sat up, Derek simply shifted back but remained practically in his lap.

“Stiles, the hell man,” Scott finally snapped. “You said you weren’t going to do it!”
“You knew about this,” Derek snarled up at the Alpha.
“I didn’t know he’d go through with it!”

“Exactly what was it,” Malia asked, sprawled across his bed.
“A memory spell,” Scott sighed. Stiles went to correct him when Deaton beat him to it, “It’s an old enchantment, intended to recall the memories of our past selves. Often from an important duty that has yet to be full filled. I told you how dangerous this was.”
“Yeah, yeah. Nearly die, lots of warnings, I got it,” Stiles finally pushed himself up and stood. Derek took an extra moment crouching before he to, rose up.

“Stiles, this isn’t a game,” Deaton started but the boy waved him off.
“I needed to do this,” he smiled and looked at Derek.
“Why,” his father asked. Stiles eyes were locked with Derek’s, he smirked, deciding to ignore everyone in the room when he felt the residual magic bubbling below his skin.

“Do me a favor,” he smiled and took a step towards him, Derek’s eyes flicked left then right like he didn’t believe Stiles was speaking to him. He gave a sharp nod, like he needed to confirm he was listening. “Meet me half way,” Stiles smirk grew as he stepped right into Derek’s space and leaned forward.

He moved slowly though, if Derek didn’t want this, didn’t want to know then he could draw back. Instead though, Derek’s hand cupped the back of Stiles head and their lips met some where in the middle. The room melted away, the memory Stiles had found took over, magic surging through him and pressing into Derek.

The wolf’s eyes flew open, glowing silver as the memories passed before him: Stiles, making similar snarky comments as he had done now only in new environments, Stiles laughing at a remark Derek had made and then they’re lying next to each other, promising to meet in eternity.

With a gasp both men stepped back, Stiles holding his breath and waiting as the magic fades from Derek. And then the wolf grins, “You found me.”

Dating Theo Raeken would include . . .

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

~ Theo always has a hand, arm something on you 

 ~ When you can’t actually be near each other he has you wear something of his 

 ~ Sweater, hoodie, bracelet, hat, etc …

 ~ Theo would be super protective 

 ~ He gets jealous easily

 ~ Having to calm him down 

 ~ Being his anchor

 ~ Having to remind him that you love him and aren’t gonna leave him.

 ~ Him saying your “mine" 

 ~ Nicknames for each other 

 ~ Babe, baby, mine, yours, princess, baby girl 

 ~ Cute dates 

 ~ Theo surprisingly being cliche half the time 

 ~ Cuddles 

 ~ Hugs 

 ~ Kisses 

 ~ Theo loving PDA 

 ~ Lots of PDA 

 ~ You not minding 

 ~ Both of you laughing all the time 

 ~ Jokes 

 ~ Laughing at each other 

 ~ Theo feeling like the luckiest guy in the world

 ~ Theo wondering why your with him

 ~ Him wondering why you dont hate him after all the shit he did to you and your friends 

 ~ Him trying to prove that he’s changing trying to be better 

 ~ Hating himself for hurting you ( when you found out that he was working with the dread doctors, and thinking he was using you )

 ~ Him trying to prove to you that he didn’t mean to hurt you, and that you weren’t part of the plan falling in love with you wasn’t part of the plan.

~ Him doing anything and everything to get you to forgive/believe him

~ Hating that you don’t hate him

~ Forgiving him

~ Letting him explain 

~ Being so relieved when he comes back from hell

~ Stiles being like a brother to you so Theo try’s really hard to get you to remember him knowing how close you guys where

~ Him saving you from the GhostRiders

~ Punching while hugging him when he escapes the GhostRiders other demention thing

~ Him apologizing for getting taken on purpose but not apologizing for keeping you safe

~ Finding out that he is living in his truck

~ Telling him he can move in with you (your parents are ok with it)

~ Him trying to talk you out of it, but you telling him he has no choice he can’t fight you on this

~ Him sleeping in your room more than half the time even though he has his own

~ Him getting even more pissed when the hunters take both of you because he hates seeing you in pain (and he has t cause you more pain to get the electricity to burn through the k-ties)

~ Being glad you both graduated because of all the hunters at the school

~ Introducing him to Derek when he shows up to help

~ Derek considering you family and threatening to rip Theo’s throat out, with his teeth if he hurts you (i had to :D) 

~ When you guys are trapped in the police station him not letting go of your hand, even when you all walk out to go “” pack to leave “” Beacon Hills (only to talk to Liam) 

~ Helping The calm Liam down at the abandoned zoo and the locker room

~ Theo being extremely worried when e finds out that you were with Scott, Lydia, and Malia when Scott’s house got shot up

~ Theo protecting you from bullet’s in the hospital

~ When everything is calmed down Theo follows you to Hollywood for college (or where-ever your going)

Promptio Werewolf AU Part Seven

Here ya go, guys. The beginning of the end. I warned you it was coming, and, well. Yeah. It happened. 

I want to apologize in advance because the last section of this is going to be part of my release for Promptio Week (specifically for Day One: in the dark/in the light). Meaning about a month from now. Sorry!! *sweats* But I will be putting the whole thing up on AO3 once it’s done, so there’s that! 

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 (under the cut)

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milquetoastttttt  asked:

Can you do more minx!Eren? I love it too much.

Levi sucked his teeth at Erwin`s blatant ass kissing as he and Eren trailed behind him like ducklings. Funding was everything it seemed, Erwin had went all out and brought the Survey Corp`s most prized possessions to show off, Humanity`s Hope and Humanity`s Strongest. Unfortunately that`s the only part they`d been allowed to play, merely trinkets to brag about. Eren almost withered when he realized he wouldn`t get to stuff his face or dance with him like he`d wanted, because unless they got a contract tonight, no one would be having any fun.

He should have known Eren`s disappointed puppy pout wouldn`t be the end of the issue. You see, Eren had taken it upon himself to help Erwin out, and he was pulling his weight. Whenever Erwin would gesture or draw attention to him he would bat his thick lashes prettily and offer a coy smile, and it always sent the pompous pigs leering. But they`d be extra generous with their offers, looking at Eren out of the corner of their yellowed eyes they would give a ridiculously large sum to Erwin, and make a show of their “kindness”. 

Levi really shouldn`t complain, they wouldn`t need to come to another one of these blasted events for years with how much Eren had stirred up with his purposefully jutted out hips and not accidental brushes.

When one of the investors, who had come flocking once they heard about the Corp`s “pretty eyed titan boy”, got handsy and brushed Eren`s shoulder - a touch he flinched away from as though he`d been burned - Something in Levi snapped and he rudely and abruptly grabbed Eren by the shirt sleeve and hauled him away, ignoring the shout behind him. Eren protested in a shocked voice,

“L-Levi! You can`t just-”

“Unless punching him would have been more polite, this is pretty fucking tame.” Levi growled. Eren smirked cheekily,

“Watching you get all angry probably would have been hot though.” He blew into his ear. This fucking brat would be the death of him.

sedanley-uris  asked:

I'm into something good for reddie

(I’ve decided to link the songs in case anyone would like to listen: ‘I’m Into Something Good’ by Herman’s Hermits. )



~Eddie had his books pressed against his chest as he strolled past the chain link fences with all sorts of weeds and poorly looked after flowers threaded through them. There was a slight spring in his step this morning. Considering the fact that he’d had his first real kiss just the past night. Sure it’d come late and he’d been a pouter on the situation since he’d turned fourteen and seemingly all his friends had been kissed. So it didn’t happen until seventeen? That was fine. A kiss like that was worth the wait. He blushed and flicked his tongue over his teeth as he sighed. He was just passing the crummy shrubbery in front of one of the rundown houses when the familiar honk of Richie’s car pulled him out of his thoughts.

Richie had one outstretched arm lounging on the wheel, a toothpick hung from his sideways smile. His hair in a large tuft of curly strands. “You goin’ my way doll?” Came the cooing of his Elvis voice. Eddie strolled over, gripping the stop sign and twirling around it. Hues of the rising sun tinted his cheeks.

“Is there any other way to go, you sentimental dipshit?” He cooed back for the effect and Richie laughed, head tilted back. Eddie momentarily worried he’d swallow his toothpick. He rolled his eyes and hopped into Richie’s passenger seat without waiting to be invited. He clicked his seat belt and waited.

“What’d you sleep with a coat hanger in your mouth?” Richie teased as he poked Eddie’s side. The smaller boy hadn’t even realized he was still grinning. It was wiped away in mere seconds. 

“You ruin everything, that’s a talent.” Eddie scowled and sat back, arms crossed as Richie giggled to himself. 

Richie had done enough thinking of his own to know that their first kiss was one of the best things to ever happen to him. His stomach fucking fluttered like some love sick valley chick just thinking about it. He had a good feeling about this. 

He pulled into his usual parking space and hopped over his door. To his right, Eddie opened his and stood with grace, that was until the wind blew his hair into his eyes and he went about ripping it away and back into place, sort of spazzy like. Richie came round the car, leaning down by his ear. 

“Attractive.” He teased and Eddie elbowed him in the gut, taking off for the doors. Richie galloped after him. 

Once they turned into the school, Richie ran his idea by himself one final time before turning to his smaller companion, who was currently scowling down the hall. “Hey, Eds. Let me carry your books for you.” He held out his hands, wiggling his fingers. 

Eddie scrunched his nose and looked at him with suspicion before forking the small pile over. Richie happily slapped them against his chest. Though he had first period on the other side of the school, he’d walk Eddie to class today. 

The gesture didn’t go unnoticed and he felt Eddie bump their hands together before gaining the courage to grip Richie’s. 

Richie’s face blushed instantly. Eddie smirked to his right. 

Once the pair got to Eddie’s class, Richie begrudgingly handed the books over and pretended to look busy. Rolling from heel to toe, looking off into the halls while whistling, like a dork.

Eddie leaned against the lockers and smirked. “What do you want to say?” He asked, knowing Richie must want to say something. And as the boy happily ended his act of innocence by snapping out of it instantly, he knew he was correct. 

“When can I see you again?” Richie smiled. 

“Fourth period, you know that.” Eddie smiled as he pretended to be oblivious of Richie’s intentions. 

Richie sighed and shook his head. “I mean…look I know we didn’t talk about it but I meant like a-”

“Date?” Eddie tilted his head flirtatiously and with a little dose of smug. Richie clamped his mouth shut and nodded like a dog. Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“Next week works….”Eddie smiled and glanced at the clock behind Richie’s head as the boy beamed down at him. “You’re gonna be late by the way.” He snapped his finger as he pointed. Richie snapped his head down to look at his watch. 

“Shit!” he ran off, Eddie could hear a few teachers yelling after him as he chuckled and turned into his class. 

lightdusk  asked:

For the prompt thing, No. 1 with RobStar!

1)  Imagine person B buying something because it has the same color as person A’s eyes.

It’s still RobStar week, right? :P Since I’m not really participating this year, how about some fun stuff?


“But why green, Raven?” 

Starfire was trying to understand her friend’s questionable decision, eyeballing the strange, silken fabric clutched tightly between the empath’s fingers. Raven’s face burned crimson, and she bunched up the item in question quickly so that only remnants could be seen poking through her grasp.

“I…I just like the cut, Star,” she spoke under her breath, her eyes darting about the store in search of anyone who might have been prying. 

“But…green?,” Starfire pouted. “It does not seem…like your colour.” 

Raven ignored her, but Starfire pressed on. “I would think you would look lovely in the royal blues, or perhaps a dark red.” 

“It’s not about the colour, Starfire. I said I like the cut.” Raven enunciated the last part. 

The alien princess took the opportunity to dig through the neatly layed out underwear. She then presented Raven with a lacy, purple thong, and grinned. “Is this not the same cut?” 

Raven’s eyes went wide, all colour draining from her face. She snatched at the offending item and stashed it back carefully in it’s place. “Look, I picked green because…because…” Raven fumbled, nervous and fidgeting on the spot, like she’d just been caught stealing. 

“She picked green because she’s sleeping with Gar,” Jinx noted, making a sudden appearance at their side. 

The pink-haired witch leaned against the counter with the fancy underwear, smirking at the expression of the other sorceress amongst them.

Raven’s jaw had dropped, and somewhere, a lightbulb burnt out, the glass smashing to pieces. 

Starfire raised an eyebrow. “I do not understand; is it because he is green, too? Is Raven’s favourite colour now green?”

Jinx scoffed. “Oh princess, you’ve still got so much to learn. You ever seen the colour of Dickie-bird’s eyes?” 

“Don’t answer her, Star,” Raven growled, anger returning to her features like an old friend. 

“I have,” she stated proudly, ignoring Raven’s plea. 

Jinx’s smile widened. “The idea is to buy them something that reminds you of the colour of their eyes. It’s…cheesy, but Rae-Rae’s gone soft ever since she shacked up with the green machine.”

Another lightbulb shattered, and a few customers gasped in surpise as bits of glass crunched beneath their heels. 

“You don’t get to judge when you and Wally have matching couple t-shirts!” Raven snapped, her cheeks aflame. 

Jinx sighed. “His idea, not mine.”

As the two girls argued over who had the more lame boyfriend, Starfire took the opportunity to raid the panty display until she’d found what she was looking for…


“A present? For me?” Richard grinned, his dimples prominent when he smiled.

He lay back on the bed, his clothes forgotten on their bedroom floor while Starfire brought out a little pink-striped bag. She sat next to him, tucking her long legs beneath her while adjusting her unruly red hair. 

Biting her bottom lip, she exclaimed with a newfound fervor, “Open it! Open it!” 

He raised an eyebrow suspiciously after recognizing where the shopping bag had come from. His eyes sparkled with a mix of longing, anticipation, and mischievousness. “Kory…is it something you’re going to wear?” 

She giggled as he opened it, the strap of her sheer, pink teddy sliding off her smooth shoulder. “No, silly!” she told him as he pulled out a pair of silken, azure-blue panties.

“They’re for you! I thought of the colour of your eyes, and knew immediately that they’d look wonderful on you! Not to mention, extremely sexy,” she teased, nudging him playfully.

Richard gulped, stretching out the material of the thong with his fingers. “Uh…I don’t think they’re quite my size, Star.” 

“Jinx said it was romantic. Besides, you do like it when things are fitted, no?” 

“Somehow, I think there was a misunderstanding along the way…” He forced a smile, placing the underwear onto Starfire’s lap.

She frowned, picking them up in her hands and examining the panties for any flaws. “Do you not like them?” 

Richard leaned up towards her neck, the blankets sliding low on his hips before he reached up to place a feather-light kiss just below her ear. Starfire shivered. “I think I’d like them better if I got to take them off you…,” he whispered, placing another light kiss along her jaw.

Starfire remained puzzled. “But then what is the point if I put them on only for you to - …oh. Oh!” Her voice carried into a moan as his arm came to wrap around her waist, pulling her back into bed with him. Richard’s face was still tucked into the nook of her shoulder when he hovered overtop of her, his teeth gently nipping at her flushed skin. 

“Mmm, I think I understand now, why Raven purchased the green underwear,” she purred, her fingers tangling in his thick hair. 

Richard paused for a minute, moving to stare into her glowing eyes. “Not for anything, but the image of Gar in a green thong is probably the last thing I need right about now.” 

They both snickered at the thought, but it took only moments for the couple to completely forget all about the underwear Starfire had purchased, and the ensuing debacle that had briefly occured because of them…


;D

anonymous asked:

Hello, darling! i love your writing, it's so entertaining! Here's a scenario for you, if you don't mind: Romantic interest is dropping off a friend's kiddo while (skeleton of your choice) is hanging around. The small child refers to the Romantic Interest as "mom", and when the parent apologises the romantic interest, without missing a beat, says "That's alright, i don't mind being called 'Mommy'," while looking directly at (skelebae of your choice). Ignore if you want but I thought it was funny~

Okay, so remember that time I had my dad help me pick which skeles I was gonna do? Well, this time one of my kids (not my actual kid) helped. His name is Erric, and he picked ALL Papyrus types. Like, what the heck?!

—–

Papy (Ut Papyrus)

He thought you did really well with kids, it was super sweet. He was helping you to look after the child of one of your friends, when the child called you mom. It was cute, and it kinda reminded him of how Frisk called Toriel mom. When you looked over at him, he blushed at your words, face turning a brilliant orange. Were you suggesting the two of you have children?! He’s going to ask you out and then ‘casually’ bring up the idea of starting a family with you. You’re going to have to explain to this excited bean what you really meant. Or just, ya know, go with it. I’m sure you two will make beautiful skele-human kiddos.

Edge (Uf Papyrus)

He was out searching for his brother, and he spotted you walking with a small child. Red momentarily forgotten, he made his way over to you with his soul speeding up the way it normally did whenever it came to you. He had just caught up to you and started to chat when your friend popped up to claim their kid and the child proceeded to call you mom. Your words got no reaction from Edge other than the amused raise of a browbone. He was much too dominant to ever call you mommy, but it was a cute attempt. Shortly after that, he asks you out while you help him search for Red.

Blueberry (Us Sans)

He loved kids, and he gladly helped you with watching your friend’s, because it meant getting a chance to spend time with you and actually imagine a domestic life with you. It was fantastic. So he was a little sad to see the child go. He couldn’t help but grin when the child called you mom, but it was quickly wiped away by the blush that your words brought on. D-DATEMATE, NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILD! It took a couple seconds (in which your friend had enough sense to take their kid and go home) before his words registered, and then it was your turn to blush. “What…did you just call me, Sans?” UH…DATEMATE? Blue realized his mistake and got flustered all over again, but before he could apologize you had jumped into his arms and laid a kiss on his teeth. Now he had a REASON to call you datemate.

Blackberry (Sf Sans)

He wasn’t very fond of children, but he was hella fond of you. So with Mutt in tow, he came to help you babysit. He walked with you when you went to drop the child off, rolling his eyes when they called you mom. When you met his eyes, he couldn’t look away, but your words were met with a smirk. WELL, I PERSONALLY PREFER BEING CALLED DADDY. Now you were caught between a blush and a laugh and your friend was horrified that such a conversation was going on in front of her kid. Blackberry gave no shits, shameless little bugger. But to be fair, you started it.

——

Guys, Blackberry is such a bean, lil’ snot face, I love him. Top notch snark all the way lmao, he’s so fun to write. I’m so glad you enjoy my writing, anon, I try my best <3

rainbowkissme  asked:

161 and 47 for Justin x Alex?

47: “You’re cute when you’re angry.“
161: “Bite me.”

Alex crossed his arms as he glared at Justin across the kitchen. They both knew he wasn’t as angry as he made it out he was, but Alex still thought it was fun to mess around with him.

Justin had been teasing him all afternoon, only gently of course, and Alex had finally had enough and given in to Justin- after all, the brunette was only doing it to get a reaction out of him.

Justin crossed the kitchen, and within seconds he was standing in front of Alex. Justin had that playful smile dancing on his lips, and that twinkle in his eye that Alex just loved.

The brunettes hands were on Alex’s waist in second, gently caressing his skin through his shirt.

“You’re cute when you’re angry,” Justin teased,

“Bite me.”

And that’s exactly what Justin did. He closed the last of the space between them and actually bit Alex, his teeth dragging gently across the skin of the boys lower neck.

“D-did you just- what did you do that for?!” Alex stuttered, trying to hide how much he enjoyed it,

“You told me to bite you,” Justin shrugged,

“Well I didn’t mean like that!” Alex settled on a lame comeback, his mind too mushy to think any harder,

“Yeah, but you liked it,” Justin whispered in his ear, dragging his teeth across Alex’s skin again.

anonymous asked:

Joker giving flowers that mean a lot of things and Akechi's reactions over the months, culminating with him seemingly coldly rejecting them close to the time he's supposed to kill Joker?

Title: How Hearts Bloom
Rating: G

Also on AO3 if you prefer.


“You don’t mind my coming here so often, do you?” Goro asked, folding his hands one over the other as he hunched over the counter.

Akira scratched the back of his neck. “Not really. But that all depends.”

“On what?”

“On what you’re coming here for.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

“Well, your back says ‘Kiss Me’ and I felt obligated to do so.”

[Since I have no clue what ship this was submitted for, I’m going to go Javid, cause we could all use some more Newsies in our lives!]


Before Davey could comprehend that hands were on his shoulders and Jack had spun him around, lips smashed into his. Without hesitation, Davey knew it was Jack. 

Only Jack Kelly kissed the way he did. His lips were so gentle with the great force they demonstrated. When he kissed Davey, their teeth clashed and noses locked together perfectly. And there was nothing chaste about it, not ever. Not from what Davey had felt, and not from what Davey had seen.

They’d only kissed once before. It was during a mass sleepover with almost all of their friends. Naturally, Spot and Race declared they’d play 7 minutes in heaven. It had ended almost as soon as it started, but not without Davey and Jack being shoved into a closet, in which they both came out of one. When the doors were opened, the two boys were kissing fiercely, and the game was ended as fast as Race’s experimental relationship with Albert. 

Jack and Davey hadn’t said a word about it since, until now. 

Davey pushed back, panting. “What the hell, Jack?!” He stared into the hungrily glowing eyes that looked down at him and felt entranced. A strong feeling to hold Jack tight and never let go filled every fiber of Davey’s being for a hot second before fading quickly. The rush of adrenaline soon faded too, leaving Davey cold and confused. 

“Well,” Jack drawled. “Your back says ‘Kiss Me’, and I felt obligated to do so.” Rough hands gingerly cupped Davey’s cheeks. “And we couldn’t ignore last month forever…” 

A loud riiiip sounded as Jack pulled a piece of paper from Davey’s back that read ‘Kiss Me’ in what was clearly Race’s hand writing, but Davey wasn’t mad. If anything, he was pleased. Someone had finally made a move.

I like the idea that self-care is something that takes a while to come naturally for Ezra.

Sure, when he lived alone in his tower (or before that on the streets) he’d try to wash himself when he could, but that wasn’t regular in the slightest.  As a consequence, he needs to be re-taught how brush his teeth properly (which is a bit painful, for a while).  He can also forget to shower when stressed/anxious (which is pretty often, being a child soldier and all)!

Things like washing his hair often felt like they should be a reward, not a necessity, in those first few years (and later too, on occasion).  They way his hair felt strangely soft and fluffy afterwards had him running his fingers through it quite a bit!

…he never quite breaks the habit of keeping bits of emergency food hidden all over the place.  Hera would prefer he didn’t hide perishables on her ship, so tries to persuade him to hide things that last longer instead.  Kanan’s a bit better at this, since he’s a bit more personally familiar with Ezra’s kind of food insecurity.

anonymous asked:

how about horror and angst? hanamiya got his s/o preggers but he didn't want it, tho when the apocalypse started to spread around town his first priority was to keep her and the baby safe, even if it means risking his own life

“You should abort it.”

Hanamiya doesn’t know why that’s the phrase that comes to mind when the sirens start blaring. It’s all that seems to stick with him as he listens to the screams of his neighbors echoing down the streets. Car horns are blaring from where people had crashed into trees and houses and each other, their panic decaying their sense of judgement faster than death itself.

“I never wanted a baby and certainly not with you.”

The anguish on your face pops into his brain next and the image is enough to pain him once again. It had been too much for him to bear the first time, though he’d grit his teeth back then and walked away, but the second time around seemed to hurt just as badly if not more. Sometimes he still wonders if you’d tried to go after him that day.

“If you’re not getting rid of it, I guess it’s over between us.”

The last thing he’d heard about you was that you’d been in the hospital with contractions. The baby was two months too early from what he could remember. Staring out the window now, Hanamiya can see the fires licking at the buildings far off in the distance. Somewhere in that same horizon, were you still laying in a hospital bed screaming curses toward his name? He didn’t have the patience to find out through some third party.

Putting on his shoes was easier said than done, especially since his house had been tossed around when the earthquakes had hit. He couldn’t find them so easily at first; they’d been buried deep under the rubble. When he finally got them on and threw his front door open, he wiped the blood off his forehead from an open cut he’d acquired. His game plan was to run as fast as he could to the hospital before anything else that was bad could happen.

Glancing behind him, Hanamiya stared at the single hand that peeked out from underneath a bloodied bookshelf. He could not save his own mother. He’d be damned if he couldn’t save you.

Season 4 Drabble #2- Office Lovin’


Hey loves! Back with another drabble dedicated to season 4. I started this one probably a day or so after the last drabble, I posted a few weeks ago. That’s the real reason I haven’t started on the next chapter of the prequel. But I wanted to keep it a surprise. I see one of our Dersha family members also had this same prediction/want for our faves. Guess great minds think alike, huh @romanholiday22. Enjoy!

Jelena Howard was beyond pissed. When she sent Derek and Ahsha packing, she figured they would stay away. To her surprise, they were back in Los Angeles and she couldn’t do a damn thing about it. When she took the job as team owner, she never thought that Oscar Kincade would steal it back from her. On top of that, she had been blackmailed. Oscar had something over her that kept the Devil Girl there under his thumb. Drugging Terrence was a huge mistake and Oscar would make Jelena pay if she crossed him again. What Oscar had the dancer doing was almost sardonic and demeaning. Jelena was basically acting as his assistant. Sure, she was still making a pretty penny, but the title disgusted her. How does one go from being the owner to an assistant? Until Jelena found a way to exploit Oscar before he put her on the hot seat. But, Oscar knew how to cover his tracks, making it difficult to prove he did anything wrong.

Jelena was working on setting up a charity event when there was a soft knock on the open door. Peeking up from her work, she saw the one person she wished would have stayed away. That bright smile and perfectly, perky attitude made her skin crawl. “What,” the hazel eyed dancer spat, glaring at her nemesis.

“Had a question about one of the dances. The part you choreographed. Kyle said the count is off,” Ahsha said, inviting herself into Jelena’s office. Why couldn’t she stay her perky ass in Miami, Jelena thought to herself.

“I’m working on something important. Kyle is captain, tell her to figure it out,” Jelena waved Ahsha off and turned back to her computer.

Ahsha smirked and crossed her arms over her chest, “What’s gotten into you? I thought the Devil Girls were always your main priority. If the choreography isn’t right, we’ll look like shit.”

Jelena sensed the sarcasm in Ahsha’s tone and it had her fuming. The already annoyed assistant slammed her hand on the desk, “Well, fix the shit then. That simple.” Being in a tough position had Jelena lashing out more. She couldn’t stand the fact that Oscar had one upped her and brought Derek and his perfect little wife back into town. The Devil Girls were the least of her worries these days. Getting back at Oscar seemed to be her main concern.

“Fine. I’ll fix the shit and just redo the entire dance,” Ahsha shot back.

Jelena placed her pen down and rested her hands on the desk. “You know…you’re real cocky for someone who doesn’t have a true say on this team. Your best girlfriend is captain and you and Derek seem to be afterthoughts right now. You don’t run a damn thing.”

“Jelena, you’re miserable, aren’t you? Miserable because no one gives a damn about you. You’re in the news these days because you lost the team and everyone’s trying to figure out how you became Oscar’s assistant,” Ahsha dug, watching Jelena’s jaw clench. She was truly getting under Jelena’s skin and it felt good. “Oh! Maybe that’s why you’re miserable. You lost everything. Terrence, the team…your relevance to this organization. Should I continue?”

By this time, Jelena was seething. “Your life isn’t all peachy. Sure, you married a baller but that doesn’t take away the skeletons you have lurking in your closet,” Jelena answered calmly, referring to Sloane’s shooting incident, that no one knew about to this day. That didn’t mean Jelena would keep it a secret. When the time was right, she would use her ammo. That information would most certainly be a banger.

One thing that irritated Jelena the most, was the fact that Ahsha appeared unbothered. “I’ll get that dance changed now. I’ll let Kyle know because I will be leaving soon. Derek and I have some business to take care of…. you know, since we’re an afterthought. Catch you later,” Ahsha jeered with a sarcastic grin. Jelena wouldn’t get to her anymore. That was a promise she made to herself when they returned to Los Angeles.

“Oh and Ahsha,” Jelena called out when Ahsha reached the office door. “Don’t come in my office again. Especially with some bullshit

“Sure, Jelena, sure,” Ahsha responded with a grin.

………….

Two Days Later

Jelena usually kept her office locked when she was away for long periods of time. This day, she left the door unlocked in a rush. Ahsha needed to drop off paperwork and found the door cracked open. Ahsha knocked before she placed the file on Jelena’s desk as her cellphone rang from her pocket.

“Hey, babe, what’s up,” Ahsha answered, beaming.

“Hey, baby? You still in the arena,” Derek asked. “I need to talk to you about something before my practice? It can’t wait.”

“Yea, I’m in Jelena’s office. Everything okay?”

“Everything is good. Stay, right there. I need to talk to you in person,” Derek replied.

“Okay,” his wife said, confused by her husband’s news.

When he reached Jelena’s office,” he shut the door behind him. “My agent just called and said that Gatorade is offering us a deal.  They’re doing some kind of campaign featuring dancers and athletes. They are trying to make it as diverse as possible. They want us to be in the first commercial they release in the next few months,” Derek explained, grabbing Ahsha’s shoulders. “Baby this is big.”

“Wow, really? That’s sounds amazing, Derek,” Ahsha exclaimed. “Hell yeah, I’m in!” The dancer threw her arms around Derek’s neck. Blessings were falling into their lap over and over again.

Bringing his lips to Ahsha’s, Derek softly kissed her plump mouth. They almost forgot where they were when the kiss deepened. They were still in their honeymoon stage and staying off each other was hard. Ahsha walked back towards the desk, her bottom bumping a file to the floor. Feeling a little frisky and bold, Ahsha reached down and wrapped her hand around Derek’s length. “I could take your ass right now,” he muttered against Ahsha’s lips. He stiffened as her hand began to massage him, making him harder by the second. Ahsha sat on the desk, opening her legs, revealing the bright turquoise underwear under her dress.

“And what if Jelena comes in,” Derek questioned, honestly not caring who walked in on them. With the way Ahsha was looking at him, there was no way he could go to practice this horny.

“We can lock her door. I’m sure she won’t mind if we use her space for a bit,” Ahsha winked, jumping off the desk and heading towards the door. “There.”

“Hmm” Derek hummed, grabbing Ahsha by her arm and pushing her towards the desk. “Good, because I have five minutes to celebrate our big news.”

Ahsha’s insides tingled with anticipation and the sensation seemed to spread when Derek began kissing on her neck. “Then we can finish celebrating at home, tonight,” he added, running his large hands down to the hem of her dress before yanking it up to Ahsha’s hips.

They were about to have sex in Jelena’s office, the same one the assistant had told her to stay out of days ago.

“I like the sound of that,” Ahsha approved, walking towards the desk as Derek nudged her forward. Something about having sex in public was exhilarating. Their hearts were already thumping against their chests.

“Do you,” Derek whispered in her ear, his fingers tracing her hipbone. His hardness was resting against her ass. Suddenly, the top half of the dancer’s body connected with the desk. Seeing his wife in this position always turned Derek on and it usually meant they were in a hurry and squeezing in a quickie. Pushing Ahsha’s dress up further, Derek moved her panties to the side.

“I needed this,” she whimpered, feeling Derek’s thick thumb graze her warmth.

“Well, you know I’m always here when you need me, right,” Derek crooned, pulling his shorts down and guiding his length into Ahsha’s tightness. She was gripping the desk so tightly that her wrists ached.

“I gotta make this quick, baby,” the baller warned. This meant one thing and one thing only. They made love several times and this would not be one of those times.  Derek barely let Ahsha respond before he was hitting her with deep, long strokes. Careful not to make too much noise, Ahsha bit her bottom lip. But it was hard to stay quiet when you had a man that could dick you down properly. Ahsha seemed to perfectly fit around him as he continued his rough quest. Her hips met his with the same rough thrusts, causing even more papers to hit the floor.

“Stupid papers,” Ahsha choked out, her voice shaking due to the force of her man’s hard pumps. Was it possible for good sex to make you cry? Because Ahsha felt like crying and she was almost certain that a tear escaped down her cheek.  “Fuck….D…Derek!”

The baller gritted his teeth, pulling his shaft all the way out before sinking back inside his wife’s wetness. “To hell with those papers,” he huffed, gently pushing on Ahsha’s lower back with the palm of his hand. The shaking in her legs was just a small indication of how good he felt. Their flesh loudly clapped as their breathing became haggard.

“Baby….” Ahsha begged, not even sure what she was begging for. What more could Derek possibly give her at the moment? Not knowing how else to stress her satisfaction, Ahsha reached forward, hitting the telephone with her hands and sending it to the floor with the papers. “We’re making a mess,” she chuckled, before gasping, “Oh…yes, right there!”

“I’m sure Jelena won’t mind,” Derek grunted, his strokes becoming slower and a bit unsteady. They were both close and didn’t have a lot more time to spare. “Shit,” the baller cursed, his length becoming slicker. Ahsha already knew her climax would be powerful by the tightness she felt in the pit of her stomach. One more stroke and the dancer was paralyzed from the impact of her body being completely satisfied. She suppressed the urge to scream Derek’s name out loud when she felt the warm cum roll down the back of her leg. They were both left breathless.

“Thanks for that,” Ahsha said, trying to catch her breath, while cleaning herself up and fixing her clothes.

“Mmmmm, now I’ll have a good practice,” Derek hummed, capturing Ahsha’s lips. “I better go before I’m running laps.”

“Yeah, you need to save that energy for tonight. Because I’m going to wear you out,” Mrs. Roman teased, placing the papers and phone back on Jelena’s desk.  

“Looking forward to it, Mrs. Roman,” Derek replied, biting his lip while he hurried out of Jelena’s office.

Ahsha took one last look at the desk, hunched her shoulders, and made her way to the hall.  Just as she closed the door behind her, Ahsha was met with Jelena’s permanent scowl.  “And what do you think you’re doing?”

With the bitchiest smirk she could dig up, Ahsha simply stated, “Cumming in your office,” before making her way to the arena exit.

Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed.

He talks about your child(ren) during an interview (SHINEE)

Y/S/N: your son’s name

Y/D/N: your daughter’s name

Onew: -you had twin daughters who entered their terrible two’s and now you were pregnant once more. During the interview you had messaged him about them throwing a fit and the MC asked what it was about- “the twins are apparently not happy with the gender of the baby so that means baby#3 is male and I’m finally not the only male in the household anymore”

Originally posted by dubuluvr

Jonghyun: -you had given birth to your son Y/S/N almost 2 weeks ago both you and Jonghyun were convinced that he always wanted your attention- “I can tell he’s a mamma’s boy after we put him to bed and Y/N and I finally have a peaceful moment together he cries. She never sees it but when she holds him he sends me a look that says ‘I win’ but I can’t be mad due to him being so cute” 

Originally posted by mintokkies

Key: -you had given birth to your 4th kid recently, By pure luck you had triplet son’s naturally the first time but all you wanted was a daughter. But all you had was a mini Kibum army because baby #4 was also a boy. Many people wanted to know how you guys were handling 4 boys who were under the age of 10- “she’s actually mad at me about it still after 4 months of knowing it. Don’t get me wrong she loves our sons but she’s tired of being out number by us”

Originally posted by dearmyfairyboy

Minho: -your 4 year old daughter started school this week and he wasn’t taking it well so when he was asked about how he felt about it he lied and then told the truth. He couldn’t help it Y/D/N meant so much to him- “she has to grow up at some point…. No she doesn’t she can stay little forever and can stay with me forever and I’ll be perfectly fine with it”

Originally posted by mintokkies

Taemin: -your had a 6 month old son who recently started teething so when he went to the interview that’s all he wanted to talk about- “I changed my shirt 3 times before I came here all he does is chew and drool on my shirts but he doesn’t do it to his mother so I ended up giving him one of my shirts to slobber all over. I didn’t realize it was my favorite one though until Y/N sent me a picture of Y/S/N sleeping on it”

Originally posted by littleshinee

Platonic VLD week day five: change/growth

Late late late late

When Keith gets the news from the Blade, he’s not surprised. Concerned, yes. Horrified, disappointed, but not surprised. The simple truth of the matter is, he’s always been different. So yes, the truth hurts, but it snaps into place, and all he can think is finally.

Case in point- he’d been training with Shiro- nothing interesting, just hand to hand- and he’d fallen. His teeth rattled from the impact. As he stood up, he probed his gums, and one of them had popped loose. “Stop,” he’d said, spitting it out. Shiro had looked horrified. “It’s fine,” Keith had said, throwing it away. “It’ll be back in a couple days.” “What.” “Shiro, it’s okay, this happens a lot.” “What.” It had taken a few minutes, and some explaining that this was a fairly frequent occurrence, for Shiro to continue training with him. The tooth had come back in by the next morning- he had seen Shiro examining the food goo quizzically the next day at breakfast.But it was fine, it was normal, he played rough, and it was okay, really.

He remembers another time- he’d been doing maintenance on Red, and he’d taken off his harness for a moment as he stood on her head to clean it off. “Do a backflip,” Lance had yelled from the other end of the hangar. And Keith had rolled his eyes, put down his rag, and just stepped off Reds head. He landed, rolling into a crouch, to Lances horrified shriek. “Keith, what the-“ “I’m fine,” he’d yelled back. Lance ran over from behind Blues leg. “Holy crap.” He surveyed the height. “Dude, that’s, like, seventy feet, at least, how did you-“ “Seventy-six,” Keith grinned smugly. “Did you practice that?” Lance had looked terrified. “Once or twice. Lance, look, that’s fine, it’s not the highest I’ve ever done-“ Lance winced “-it’s fine, really.” Lance backed off, hands up. “Alright.” As he walked off, Keith could hear him mumble, “Didn’t even do a backflip.”

He remembered once, in his desert, there had been a coyote problem. They’d stolen his food for a good few weeks. He’d walked out once to find himself face to face with one. It growled, obviously on edge, baring it’s teeth at him. And Keith had raised himself up and snarled back, louder and more ferally than he knew he could. And the thing had backed off and left. And that was the end of it. “You better run,” he’d whispered after it. He had a dusconcerting feeling he could have raced it back, but he shook it off and went back inside.

So the news that he’s not human- it’s not a surprise. It’s not a change, really, just an affirmation of the facts. He’s suspected. So this doesn’t feel wrong- it real, realer than most things he’s been told.

He’s almost afraid of how little he shed to take this new name.

“I was a maître d’ at a restaurant for thirteen years. But one week I got a really bad case of pneumonia that put me in the hospital. While I was lying in that hospital bed, I was thinking about how I really didn’t want to go back to work. Then that motivational speaker came on TV. You know– the one that has all those teeth in his mouth. And he said: ‘Think back to what made you happy when you were young! That’s what you should be doing!’ Well I grew up in the country, and I always had a lot of dogs, so I thought that nothing would make me happier than to be a dog walker. But I knew I needed to distinguish myself. So I decided to make a uniform. I smoked a joint and came up with this outfit. I wanted people to look at me and think: ‘If this man is walking our dog, and there’s some sort of major disaster, he’s going to survive. He’s going to fish for those dogs. He’s going to build a bunker and shelter those dogs until it’s safe to bring them home.’ After I finished the design, I got four of my friends to wear the uniform, and we borrowed all the neighbors’ dogs, and we walked them down 5th avenue while handing out business cards. I got five customers that first day.”