when did i stop believing

I’m going to confess this stupid thing, but it happens to me that from time to time, when a very good blog of this fandom follows me I’m like ’is this true? You are following me? Are you sure this is not a mistake?’ And I always wait for they to stop following me because I can not believe that someone so cool has noticed my existence.

Kpop Love at First Sight Tag

Tagged by: @sunshinesungjin Ahh, thank you so much!!!

Rules: List 5 or 10 of your favorite kpop boy/girl groups. Put your very first bias of each group and the name of the m/v you first saw the member in.

1. EXO - Sehun - What Is Love

2. SHINee - Jonghyun - Replay

3. Monsta X - Shownu - Hero

4. Blackpink - Jennie - Boombayah

5. Mamamoo - Hwasa - You’re The Best

6. BAP - Daehyun - Warrior

7. BTS - Rap Monster - N.O

8. GOT7 - Jackson - A

9. Seventeen - Woozi - Adore U

10. Big Bang - Daesung - Fantastic Baby

MMMMM…I’m tagging @parkkchanyeoll @scoups95 @floweringstarlight 

Only when I stopped believing in myself did I come into this beauty. Sit quietly, and listen for a voice that will say: “Be more silent.
—  Rumi
papa doesn’t believe in survivors, he likes to list names of people who never got back up and I know he’s tired / but when did we all stop believing, when did I start waiting to be a statistic? / I learn silence in the unsaid words, Carlene says she hates pop culture and we don’t ask why, just begin avoiding the mainstream / I want to learn how to love the silence that hangs over our lunch table, ignore the pain swelling in between / wait for it leave my house where dinner never tastes good anymore – I think not enough space in my mouth to chew & swallow & taste everything I wanted to say / everything I wish I could tell people (starting with “you are beautiful & smart & talented so fuck getting bad grades, you have a future, and I believe in you”) / but I’m not invincible unless I’m with these girls and their chipped nail polish and maybe that doesn’t matter / maybe I shouldn’t care how silence sounds in the kitchen, how the window bend & twist / you know, I’m still learning how to exist for myself, trying to be less likeable, embrace the happiness when it stops by my flat / I try to take up space without apologising like papa spreading his legs on the bus & expecting the woman beside him to shift / I hate watching them shrink so he can expand / this anger never goes away but I practice breathing deeply, breathe out the unsaid words & breathe in the silence.
—  the sound of silence by rachana hegde (inspired by @wintertangerine‘s prompt