when are we gonna bone

Some AU where 25 year old Cor introduces Regis to his boyfriend, Gilgamesh

Gil: Don’t worry, sir. I’ll bring him home before midnight.
Regis: Is that so?
Cor: Don’t, Regis, don’t. 
Regis: What?
Cor: I swear-
Regis: It’s not like I’m worried about that, more like-
Cor: Don’t do it. Don’t. Regis, I’m warning you!
Gil: What is it, love?

[Regis hands Gilgamesh a gift bag of condoms and lube.]

Cor: :[
Regis You’re an adult, I trust you.
Gil: How generous of you, I even bought some myself this morning.
Cor: 8[

8

AU:  Sebastian abducts Clary in order to rattle the shadowhunters and takes her to one of his secret houses. However, the more time she spends with him, the more she realizes how very alike they actually are.. And somehow he makes her heart sing in the worst way, willing her to just give in. Give in to him, and to this, and to everything they could be, because they’re the last Morgenstern and they belong to each other. And for the first time in her life, Clary feels free and light and powerful - thanks to him. And she loves it, no matter how much her better judgment tells her otherwise.
Maybe it’s time for her to get rid of the guilt, the doubt and the shame and embrace the ruthlessness in her bones. Maybe it’s time for her to finally be free of all her previous prejudices and just be herself - a sister, a lover, a ruler, a fighter - anything she wants to be. Because she is, after all, a Morgenstern.

[fic] Big Dumb - 08

Title: Big Dumb

Authors: Vee and Cat

Rating: R-18 let’s get radical

Pairing: Mike/Erwin/Levi

AO3: 08

Summary: To put it simply, an A/U in which Erwin and Levi are grown-ass roommates who are essentially terrible at everything, including admitting they have feelings for one another.

A/N: Hello, Vee here. I did it. I finished it. My porn labor of love. My Porna Lisa, if you will.

Now we can get back to cracking poop jokes and old men being stupid, but enjoy the porn while you’re here.

Hope you like the following: threesomes, bottom Erwin, spitroasting, and DP! :D Wow okay, yeah.

*sings ‘Purple Rain’ into the night*

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TWELFTH NIGHT

DON’T IGNORE THE SONGS!! THEY’RE IMPORTANT BECAUSE OF THEME REASONS! READ THIS THEN GO WATCH SHE’S THE MAN BECAUSE I’M INCREDIBLY BIASED IN FAVOR OF HIGH SCHOOL AU SHAKESPEARE.

ACT I

OKAY SO DUKE ORSINO WANTS OLIVIA BUT OLIVIA DOES NOT WANT THE D. SHE IS IN MOURNING FOR SEVEN YEARS FOR HER DEAD BRO. THAT’S A BIT MUCH? SORTA SKETCHY?? ANYWAY ORSINO IS LIKE ‘WOW IF SHE LOVES HER BRO THAT MUCH IMAGINE HOW MAGIC IT’S GONNA BE WHEN WE BONE’

THEN JUMP CUT TO VIOLA WHO SURVIVED A SHIPWRECK THAT SHE BELIEVES KILLED HER CONVENIENT TWIN BROTHER. SHE PERSUADES THE SHIP CAPTAIN (I MEAN SO MUCH FOR GOING DOWN WITH YOUR SHIP BUT W/E) TO DISGUISE HER AS A DUDE (CESARIO) SO SHE CAN GO WORK FOR THE DUKE WHILE SHE WORKS THROUGH HER FEELS.

THEN COMIC RELIEF WITH MEMBERS OF OLIVIA’S HOUSEHOLD. WE SEE HER UNCLE TOBY CHAT WITH MARIA ABOUT SIR ANDREW WHO IS A DRUNK AND AN IDIOT. THEN WE MEET SIR ANDREW AND TOBY IS LIKE 'HEY ANDREW, MY BRO, GUESS WHAT I THINK YOU HAVE A GREAT SHOT AT BONING OLIVIA. ANYWAY LET’S GET SCHWASTED BECAUSE TWELFTH NIGHT= PARTY TIME. HOLLA’

THEN ORSINO’S SERVANT VALENTINE (BECAUSE REALLY SHAKESPEARE?) IS LIKE 'WOW CESARIO, IT’S BEEN THREE DAYS, THE DUKE MUST REALLY WANT TO BONE YOU’ THEN DUKE ORSINO IS LIKE 'SO I NEED YOU TO CONVINCE OLIVIA TO RETURN MY BONER FEELINGS’ THEN HE CHATS WITH CESARIO AKA VIOLA ABOUT HOW MAIDENLY AND FAIR A DUDE SHE IS, HE’S ALL 'WHOA YOU’RE ACTUALLY HOTTER THAN MOST LADIES…’ THEN VIOLA IS LIKE 'HAHAH YEAH ABOUT THAT I’M GONNA GO DO THAT ERRAND NOW’

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i don’t think people realize how amazing cheerleaders are so i’m gonna tell we.

when a cheerleader breaks a bone the come to practice and sit and watch. once the body part os no longer in a cast the get up and start again like they never left.

when a cheerleader sprains their wrist or ankle they still tumble and toss people who at some points in time weigh more than them in the air without complaining.

we practice at times for 8-10 hours with 2 water breaks in 100 degree weather.

people break bones on the mat during a performance and they keep going.

cheerleaders go to school, go to practice, and then stay up way later than you did to finish that homework and they still turned it in and showed up for school the next.

cheerleading is not just “yay go team” yelled by some idiots, its losing voices so that you can keep your team and crowd engaged in the game.

cheerleading is a sport and if you disagree please tell me why you do

The free tour has been an absolute nightmare for our manager to book, to be honest. Essentially what we’re doing is we’re renting the venue so we're paying to play, pretty much in a lot of places. We’ve been fortunate enough that a few have said oh yeah you guys can just play on this outdoor stage, but when we actually get down to the bones of it all we’re gonna have to build the stage ourselves. We’re gonna have to build the PA. We’re gonna have to put the barricade up. We’re doing all the work but I feel like it’s really important to give back to the people that have allowed us to play music and create music for the last eight years.
—  John O’Callaghan