wheezes no

2

“All the questions we’re answering today came from you guys via our new Buzzfeed Unsolved instagram page! @buzzfeedunsolved”

Shane: *does nothing*
Ryan: *wheezes into oblivion*

4,000 Followers Shout-out!

George felt like he hadn’t stopped moving in the past few months. Fred felt like he might not ever be able to stop moving. They thought opening the shop had been busy - and it had been - but it was nothing like comparing for a big surprise while also running the shop and dealing with customers.

Four had always been a lucky number for the twins. Perhaps it was because they were the fourth birthday of the family. Perhaps it was because they were born in the fourth month. Perhaps it was any number of things, but the twins were connected to the number four. That’s why they had decided to do an ambitious celebration to celebrate their 4,000th sale. They would have planned a 40,000th or 400,000th or even 4,000,000th sale celebration, but honestly with the looming war… Well, better safe than sorry. Plus, the world could use more cause to celebrate at the moment. The only problem - if it could be considered such - was, their 4,000th sale was coming up faster than anticipated.

“Is it-”

“-ready? Not quite.”

“Maybe some essence of murlock?”

“Hm, yes, its uses for satisfaction are promising.”

“Probably just a few drops will do it.”

“Just what I was thinking, brother!”

The big day was coming fast, but a few nearly sleepless nights and it would all be worth it.

~

“So, you talked to Angelina yet?”

“You talked to Lee yet?” George retorted, a little extra snap in his throw when he tossed the cinnamon in their mixture.

“No,” Fred admitted. George delighted in the blush that’d crept up his brother’s face. Neither of them blushed much, but bringing up Fred’s crush was a surefire way to bring on the red. “I don’t know how to talk to him about being grayro. Which is a great excuse. What’s your excuse for Angelina, huh? She may identify simply as queer, but I’ve talked to her a lot. I’m pretty sure she’s acespec, bro. Definitely would understand you being demisexual.”

George shrugged. “I just… It’s something I don’t want to rush. I don’t want it to be tainted by whatever this war is going to bring. I feel like if it’s meant to be, it’ll be after the war when it can be good and happy.”

Fred was silent for a moment, carefully counting out clockwise stirs. It’d been a while since him and George had made time to actually talk with each other. Most of their conversations had been literal shop talk. They really hadn’t even had the time to be brothers for the past few months.

“Actually, your excuse is better. Can I also use it?”

George chuckled. “Anytime. For what it’s worth, I had similar conversations with Lee. I’m not sure he was ready to admit it, but he’s likely bi. I think he’d understand being grayro.”

“Alright, ready?”

“Yep, on three.”

“One, two, three - beatigaumus!” they shouted in unison. Bright orange flashed in the twin’s vision, temporarily blinding them.

“Whoa.”

“Wicked.”

“I think we’re good to call it a night,” George grinned.

~

They were usually happy around the shop, but today Fred and George nearly scared away customers with their dragon-sized grins. There was no way they weren’t reaching their 4,000th sale today.

George slid behind the counter to join Fred at the register. “Thanks for shopping with Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes - tell your friends!” Quietly, to Fred, he said, “We maybe should have chosen a shorter name. So how many was that.”

“Nonsense the name is perfect. Just five more, Georgie boy!”

Their fifth customer after that was someone they recognized. A young, Hogwarts-aged wix who was seemingly homeschooled. They often came around the shop but had yet to buy anything. “I saved up enough allowance by doing extra chores!” the young one proclaimed, exceedingly proud of themselves and their hard work. Fred and George were all at once reminded of themselves.

“This is so perfect,” Fred told his twin.

“So what did you decide on?” George asked their young customer.

“A pride pop for my older sister!” Their pride pop lines were one of the products they were the proudest of. A whole package of pride colored lollipops. One side of the package was for bigots and bullies, the other for the prideful purchaser. The side for bigots and bullies looked like normal suckers but literally tied the tongue of the bigot in knots. The pride side came in shifting pride colors depending on who grabbed it and what they asked for. Its side effects ranged from a short happy high to being able to breathe pride-colored fire to burping pride-colored bubbles to floating a few inches off the ground for a few minutes.

“Are you getting anything for yourself?” Fred asked.

“No, I don’t really need it. But my sister is having a bad time with my parents, so she needs it.”

George smiled fondly at the kid. “You’re much nicer to your sibling than we were to ours,” he teased, pleased that this would be their 4,000th customer. “That’ll be seven sickles.”

George nearly squirmed in anticipation as Fred took the offered sickles and opened the register. Upon closing it, in true Weasley twin fashion, everything exploded into action. Money coins exploded out of the register like a fountain as more coins rained down from the ceiling. The whole shop briefly flashed purple. Celebratory sirens ran out three times. Wix who needed protected from the sensory input were temporarily bubbled - either to protect from falling coins, the color, and/or the sound. 

Fred and George’s voice boomed out above the crowd. “Four thousand sales, folks, and it’s you who gets to reap the rewards! Our lucky 4,000th customer here is winning a grand prize of 4,000 sickles! And one of you lucky folk in the crowd can win 2,000 sickles if you find the candy galleon with a blue inner wrapper! And by the way, these galleons are our newest product meant to help you celebrate - any that dropped a moment ago are absolutely free. Bite into one of these cinnamon-y chocolate delights and you’ll hear the roaring of a crowd in your ear, feel like you’re getting a congratulatory handshake or slap on the back, and get a boost of adrenaline and happiness that comes with succeeding in your goal! Have it folks - but no pushing! Violence automatically disqualifies you from winning, and we’ll know if you cheat or steal the winning candy from another!” The two stepped down from the counter they’d hopped up on for their announcement.

The young wix, their 4,000th customer, looked up at them in awe.

“Sickles? Four thousand sickles,” they said faintly, and Fred wondered if they might faint.

“Congrats! Is a guardian here with you? I’d love to just give you the sickles, but I think there’s some legal issue with doing that. Or maybe we could hold your winnings here at the shop and give you some free stuff until you’re old enough that it’s not an issue? Of course, you might spend all of it here at the shop by then-” George nudged his twin. “Er, uh, or we could give you some time to process first.”

“I got it!” a triumphant voice sounded from over in the potion aisle. The twins immediately recognized the voice of a witch about their age that Fred occasionally flirted with. She was charismatic and friendly and sometimes came in the shop just to chat with its owners - and sometimes to escape the whether, which the twins never minded.

A chorus of disappointed groans sounded from the shop, but the young girl received plenty of congratulations as she made her way to the front. Other customers satisfied themselves by stuffing as much of the free candy into their pockets as possible.

Fred verified the witch’s win quickly. “Congrats,” he grinned as George handed over her winnings. “We were hoping a regular might get to win.”

“You’ve no idea how much this means to me,” she said. Then, with a “aw, hell,” she leaned in to hug the both of them. “And congrats to you,” she beamed at the young wix, still mouthing the words ‘four thousand sickles’ to himself.

“Excuse us just one moment,” George told them before he and Fred stepped back up to the counter and amplified their voices.

“That’s it, folks! There’s our winners. However, besides the free candy, you’re all also winning today. Fifty percent off everything in the shop for the next four hours only as a thank you for your loyal business thus far!”

Even though they had plenty of time, customers sprang into frenzied action grabbing products they had earlier been debating on buying. Although everything was half off, the next four hours resulted in Fred and George having the most successful day of their business yet, unexpectedly selling out of many of their products. Nearly every customer at the register asked if they’d be putting the Gratification Galleons on the shelves (yes, they would be once they whipped up a new batch). Their young 4,000th customer winner ended up settling on getting a “weekly allowance” from the twins, which they figured worked as a loophole to make sure they actually got their winnings instead of their parents.

~

Fred let out a loud groaning sigh as he flopped into a big, squishy chair in their flat above the shop. In contrast, George silently collapsed on his bed.

“My feet,” George complained. “Can we take tomorrow off?”

“Just use some of our Petrissage Potion. If I’m working, you’re working.”

George grinned in spite of himself, summoning some of the potion from the bathroom. “It was a good day, huh.”

“I’d do it all over again,” Fred agreed.

And neither twin even thought about complaining when they fell asleep right where they were.

~ Thank you to all our followers, submitters, rebloggers, etc.! You are awesome, and we appreciate your interactions. We wouldn’t be here without you all! ~

teatimewrites  asked:

your story with you and your crush sean donT EVEN GET ME STARTED 👏🏽😭homegirl if y’all ain’t together soon i’m suing😤!! (joking tho 😝) you guys have a romance for the novels or the movies i C A N ‘ T 😪*wipes tear*

fam if we don’t get together i’m suing his catholic private school ass for all he’s got😤

I’m not wrong. right? it’s not road rage. not at all. (credit me if you post this anywhere. my Instagram name is the same as my name on here. ☺️)