Get In Losers, We’re Going Curse Breaking.
I’ve been doing some research today
(I can neither confirm nor deny I’m writing the sequel chapter to Dial Tone) and I just found out that Draco Malfoy’s wife Astoria supposedly dies really young due to a curse placed on her ancestor, which leaves both Scorpius and Malfoy devastated and I’m just…are you fucking kidding me????
Are you telling me that instead of the shitheap of fiction that was The Cursed Child, we could have instead had a story about young Scorpius Malfoy finding out about the curse laid on his mother, and being the Slytherin child that he is, deciding to find a way to break it.
Like the possibilities, I can’t even, my brain is just…running away with the idea of what you could do with a story like that. Scorpius Malfoy finds out about his mother’s curse, and how his birth shortens her life, I mean…it’s like…there, in the title??? The Cursed Child???!?
And then you have Albus “Al” Potter being sorted into Slytherin but that doesn’t make him any less like his dad so when he finds out what his friend is trying to do he’s there, he’s 100% there to help, whatever his friend needs, Albus Severus Potter is there. His dad gave him the invisibility cloak after all, what’s to stop them using it to get into the Library and reading all the books. They get caught of course, and Professor McGonagall has this surreal moment of not quite déjà vu, at having a Potter and a Malfoy breaking the rules in front of her again, but as friends??? And they’re…they’re reading about healing magic and protection spells at 3am??? Slytherins??? Is…is it too soon to consider early retirement??? Asking for a friend???
And because Al is the precious little Slytherin that he is, he has absolutely no qualms about breaking into his Dad’s office, aka Harry Fucking Potter’s Office, at the ministry and finding out all he can about the most powerful ways to break curses. But first he needs to get there and maybe a few years ago asking his dad if he could come visit on the weekend might not have been weird but it’s weird now. Everything’s been weird since he got sorted into Slytherin but that’s not important now. What is important is he’s pretty sure he remembers a giant book chained to his dad’s office desk and he needs to get to it, but he’s a bit of a squib when it comes to flying, and apparition is still beyond him, but Rose can fly.
And even though she’s been sorted into Gryfindor and they don’t talk as often as they used to it’s worth a shot right? And initially she calls him mad for wanting to do what he wants to do (just, a moment of pure Hermione shines through, “no, absolutely not, you’re going to get us expelled or worse”) but as she listens to him, the more he pleads adamantly and vocally on behalf of his friend who is just staring at the floor, the more she realizes, they’re serious. Scorpius hasn’t even attempted to flirt with her yet…or…at all really, not recently…and she can’t help but notice he looks a little thinner, a little paler, and the dark circles under his eyes look like bruises, and when he looks up there’s a look of harrowing sorrow behind those bright eyes and Rose Granger-Weasley says slowly, “No, I’m not stealing a broom just so I can fly Albus to the Ministry…” takes a deep breath and licks her lips, determination settling over her shoulders like a well-fitted cloak. “We’re all going. But first we need to get to the Burrow.”
“The Burrow?” Al frowns, doing that weird hopping skip of a run he does to keep up with Rose’s long strides as she turns. “Why are we going to the Burrow?”
“Because, you can fit more in the trunk of a Ford Anglia.”
But no, that’s fine I guess. We’ll just get some muddled bullshit about Bad Parenting, time turners and alternate universes, feat the deranged lovechild of HimWithoutANose and RacistLeStrange. Sure. Great.