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The Forsaken + Onion Headlines

Just to be clear this is @veliseraptor‘s fault. (Their’s are funnier anyways.)

(Art Seamas Gallagher and Ariel  Burgess, all from the WoT wiki’s)

wheel of time + @wolfpupy tweets
  • rand al'thor: life is about the journey not the destination, forget about the impact and just enjoy hurtling on fire in a downward trajectory
  • matrim cauthon: if you take a second to think about it, that's one second you have completely wasted
  • perrin aybara: if you underestimate a wolfs ability to wield a weapon just because of a lack of thumbs you will get what you deserve in the end.
  • egwene al'vere: things are going really well for me now that i've changed the meaning of really well to the opposite of what it means in my head.
  • min farshaw: looks like things are always happening once again
  • nynaeve al'meara: i won't do what i'm told, it involves listening to what people tell me
  • moiraine damodred: i did the best i could with the resources i was given, which was nothing
  • faile bashere: stop being so defensive i am just trying to hit you with weapons
  • tuon athaem al'paendrag: who would have thought that 10, 20, even 30 seconds later that the thing you said would still not matter to me, yes time is a cruel mistress
  • elayne trakand: i'm not going to claim that i know everything, i am simply going to act like it
  • aviendha: blood is just nature's red water that flys out when you make a mistake. relax and enjoy the experience for once
  • the dark one: when the sun goes out, the air turns to fire, and the streets run red with blood, i am probably to blame for it
  • asmodean: where people like you see a problem i see opportunity to create worse problems
  • aginor: back in the frankenstein times you could make a monster whenever you wanted, these days you have to have a license or something i guess
  • lanfear: when you get your revenge on someone always immediately hit them with a second revenge, undercuts any counter-revenge or betrayal they have
  • graendal: everyone who died and was killed on my quest to get really good hair and fashion deserved it and i dont care
  • ishamael/moridin: instead of spending all your time trying to make things better and failing you can cut out the middleman and just make things worse
  • the forsaken, generally: i don't want to throw anyone under the bus here unless they are my enemy or betrayer or if it will help me get where i'm going faster