wheeeeeeee

today when I got home from work

gee, I wonder who this GIANT PURPLE UNNECESSARILY FUCKING HUGE BOX could be from?

MY CHILD

I am a responsible adult who makes good responsible adult financial choices

Dearest Kindred,

I had the absolute pleasure of meeting the lovely @morganrhodes tonight at a signing! She was fantastic, as expected, so if the tour is coming to your city I *highly* recommend going. All four authors were lots of fun.

She did mention that IR was still in-progress and though she didn’t let anything spoilery slip, she said she’s *REALLY* excited about it.

So. Take that as you will.

It just made me more excited for the release.
🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃

I’m sorry I keep on making fun of these guys but here’s a personality swap to add fuel to the fire

quietly headcanons that dremora bash horns pretty frequently

but not just for fighting. not at ALL just for fighting. 

adolescent dremoras bonking heads like baby mountain goats

casual affectionate horn bumping

two dremoras with ram-esque horns charging at eachother and getting their horns tangled up

dremoras filing the ends of their horns to a point

dremoras hanging sparkly shit on their horns if they get long enough

vain dremoras getting flustered and distressed over pieces of horn that get chipped off

dremoras with actual personality instead of just a bunch of testosterone huffing nerds from oblivion

The Man in Business Suit Levitating (?!?) emojis, ranked


(yes that’s a real emoji) (Your guess is as good as mine)

Apple

He’s so happy! Look at him! I imagine there is a stern-faced agent behind him being all like “Agent Smith get back here” and he’s all ”Screw you Agent Johnson I can fly wheeeeeeee” 10/10 I hope he does well in life.

Samsung

I don’t think he knows he’s flying. I think in a minute he’s going to look down to get his pen and freak out. FBI never trained him for flying. That’s not even a federal crime. 9/10 for giving my the mental image of shenanigans. I’m a simple man.

Google!

It’s stern-faced Agent Johnson! He can fly but isn’t very happy about it. He remembers when gravity was a thing. He misses those days. 8/10 I hope you find gravity again soon friend

Twitter


He’s really creepy. That smile is not an “I’m happy” smile. It’s not even a “I’m going to kill you” smile. It’s a “hello fellow car-bon based life” smile. It’s very odd. Also he’s levitating and that’s not normal either. 7/10 if I give you a high score will you go away please?


Microsoft!


Here we see the worst effects of capitalism. Look at this poor guy. “Look! You are granted one of mankind’s oldest and greatest dreams! You can fly!” “Yeah, but I still need to get up early for my meeting. Sigh” 6/10 he just makes me very sad tbh

LG

How the mighty have fallen. In 2012 the slenderman was the toast of the internet! Everyone was talking about him!. Look at him now, appearing on LG emojis. He sits at home every night, re-watching Marble Hornets and pouring himself another glass of wine. “I’m still relevant, dammit!” 4/10 of course you are slendy. Of course you are

Emoji one

He is not so much levitating as “being lifted by the air caught on his hat”. Look at that thing. No-one needs that much hat. It’s literally as big as his torso. What are you using that for? 3/10 can’t trust someone with that much hat.

Emojidex

Now, see, one of the three integral parts of “man in buisness suit, levitating” is the man. Take hime away, like you did, and all you have is a business suit levitating.That’s not the same thing and I resent that you think I would be fooled by it. 1/10 WHEN WILL THE LIES END?!

Hahahaha just spent like three hours hanging out with the girl I like and am deliriously happy!

She is straight. And doesn’t know I’m bisexual.

OH THE HELL WELL *does a frenzied dance*

I love the spectrum of human emotions. There are those crushes where everything is wildness and misery and you wake up in the night being unnecessarily melancholic and feeling like oh shit, I’m a disgusting human being, why am I so desperate and pathetic WHY DON’T YOU LOVE ME. And then there are those crushes where the tiniest bit of proximity buzzes up through your ribs and lights you on fire and when you’re close enough to see the color of their eyes your palms get tingly with sweat and your feet itch and everything is physical. And then there are those crushes where just looking at their smile makes your heart twitch like its own animal and your emotions turn to butter and caramel, and where you are so happy they are alive and on this planet that you don’t even care if they return your feelings. You just want them to be happy. And if they’re nearby, safe and themselves and happy, you are happy too.

this is the third kind

and it is fun.

and nice.

((Some crushes are all three. Those are the ones that scar.))

What an exhausting day. 

Gabby reached up and ran her hands down her face, unknowingly wiping engine grease down her cheeks, creating a few black marks which added to her disheveled appearance. She was completely exhausted. There had been a few murmurs in the ship’s engine today, nothing serious, but worth crawling through the shafts to tighten a few bolts and tinker here and there to make the engine run more smoothly. She had spent her day crawling through those ducts and shafts, given the ability to spend sometime with just her thoughts and the low hum of the ships. Perhaps that wasn’t such a great thing after all, for she wasn’t sure if she felt even /more/ tired because of the thoughts or not.

She flopped back onto the sofa in the Starboard observation deck, tipping her head backwards, for a few moments of solitude. Normally, she would never sit like this, splayed across the couch haphazardly. She was always so tight and formal around just about everyone but Ken- though she was starting to warm up to Engineer Adams and Tali. But in the loneliness of the observation deck, she didn’t much care for structure or manners. She didn’t care that her oil and grease stained uniform was resting against the bare material of the couch, which would become someone’s headache later, and she didn’t care that her face bore a few splotches of oil and grease itself.  Her hands were even worse, covered moreso in the black material, along with a few scratches and scabs from today’s work alone. 

At this moment, she was too tired to go and wash up before relaxing. She didn’t have much time on her break, there was still work that needed to be done. But for now….She allowed her tired eyes to close, feeling the heavy lids finally resting, enclosing her in darkness. It had been another sleepless night. She had slept decently for the first hour, only to be plagued by dreams and nightmares- nightmares created from her very real memories from her time under the abduction of the Collectors. That wasn’t something you could forget, or ignore. While Gabby handled it well in the waking world, there were certain nights where the memories reared their ugly heads in the form of dreams, and would leave the Engineer startling to consciousness, gasping for air, and looking around fearfully. When these nightmares surfaced, Gabby knew it would be another sleepless night. She would then spend the rest of her hours sitting awake in her bed, walking the halls of the Normandy, or even doing /more/ work with the propulsion systems. And when the rest of the crew awoke, only assuming that she had risen earlier than them, her real work load would begin, and she would be stuck doing more work off of barely an hour of sleep. 

She wasn’t entirely sure how many nights of this she could stand.

Being abducted by the Collectors, seeing their horrors first hand, watching other humans being…‘processed’ as Doctor Chakwas had put it, and knowing that you would undoubtedly share the same fate….Just remembering the emotions sent a chill up the Engineer’s spine. There had been an unspoken rule among the remaining crew- to never speak of the Collector Abductions ever again. No one ever mentioned it, at least not in public, and it was driving Gabriella insane. Was she the only one still haunted by this?

Ken refused to even acknowledge it, which disturbed Gabby even more. His refusal to think about it, of course, resulted in Gabby never admitting that she was still haunted as well. But there was…something else. Something that had happened between the two during the attack. Gabby could remember every detail of the initial assault up until she had been caught off guard, and stunned by one of the Collectors. That was where her memories went hazy- she only remembered bits and pieces of the rest. Strange fragments of Ken’s voice, yelling over the gunfire, feeling herself drop to the floor, only to be picked up once more. Strange memories of someone grabbing her hand, as if to pull her back, only to suddenly let go. /Someone/ had been yelling her name with a distinct accent. That was where everything went black, and the next thing she knew, she had been on the Collector base.

Shit, she just couldn’t remember, but something had happened between the two Engineers. She /knew/ it. And she knew Ken remembered it more than she could. What was he hiding? She was tempted to beat it out of him, but shit, that would just make things awkward. That was the pathetic part. They had been partners in crime for years, and Gabby was still struggling and trying to come to terms with this ridiculous crush of hers. She didn’t even know if he felt the same. No, he most likely /didn’t/. Too busy noticing other woman.

With an aggravated groan, Gabby placed her hand over her face, once more smearing more dirt and oil over her already dirty skin. It was best to just never dwell on these things.

But the Collector’s abductions, her relationship with her best friend, the impending doom of the entire universe just seemed to fester in her mind, slowly driving her insane. Eventually one of these days she would snap and come clean about /one/ of the subjects.

She just hoped it would be a subject that would preserve her sanity. 

Sunday Six

“You talk about sex in a way I’ve never heard anyone else talk about it. And –“

“And?”

“And suddenly it starts making sense. A little.”

“Suppose when you’ve had the kind of sex life I’ve had, the mysticism around it kinda disappears.”

“Mm,” Holmes says. His breathing is slowing down again, face relaxing

Sebastian smirks and gets back under the covers.