wheat by product

I always love the idea of Carlos doing normal shit and Cecil freaking out.

“Carlos what is that”
“It’s a pen”
“CARLOS THATS ILLEGAL”
“What am I meant to make notes with then Ceec?”

“Hey Ceec, want a sandwich?”
“W h a t”
“I’m making sandwiches. Or I can do pasta if you want?”
“CARLOS THOSE ARE WHEAT OR WHEAT BY-PRODUCTS WHAT ARE YOU DOING??”

“Happy Valentine’s Day Ceec!”
“CARLOS ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED???”

This photo unintentionally exists because of a friend of mine.
The friend who requested the angels and wheat & wheat by-products picture, who shall now be referred to as Commie Smasher (long story), has an iFunny acount (OfficialKhoshekh). On it was a picture from Snapchat showing the freaky McDonald’s Happy Meal design and the phrase “Strexcorp: Believe in a smiling god.”
After seeing that, I decided to do my own version.
I’m not sure whether to say “Voila” or “I’m sorry.” Both seem appropriate in regards to this picture.

Sourdough Bread Starter

Since a lot of people were interested in my sourdough bread shenanigans, I thought I would teach you guys how to make your own starter. It’s going to take a few days to get going, and I still need more in the works pictures before the actual post, so I’m giving you this info now.

Why do I need a starter? I have powdered yeast at home.

Because that is the difference that makes sourdough bread unique! The yeast granules you get at the store were developed more military use in WWII, for rations for the soldiers, then sometime in the 1970s is when instant yeast was discovered. These yeasts work very, very quickly in comparison to wild yeast, which is why so many people prefer them now. The downside to this is, the yeast doesn’t get a chance to break down the grains as well, which means you aren’t getting all of the nutrients, and if you’re like me you can have a hard time digesting wheat. If you think you might be gluten intolerant because bread and wheat products are tough on your digestive system, it may be the wheat itself and sourdough might work for you. Just another possibility for you to look into. :)

Wild yeast takes several hours to rise, so making bread is an all day event. That being said, it’s more like, you do something, then leave it alone for 3 hours. Flip it a few times every 30 minutes for 3 hours, then let it sit for 4 more hours. That sort of stuff. This also means no hard kneading, since the gluten has time to develop on its own during the rise. (As a spoonie I cried of joy.) The fermentation from the yeast’s waste is what gives the bread the sour taste, and lets the grain develop all sorts of deep flavors.

Now that you know why, let’s get to how!

You’ll need

-a glass jar,
-some flour (I use unbleached all purpose and whole wheat, there’s others you can use, but all purpose is the least finicky) 
-distilled water (you can use your tap, but if it’s having trouble switch, sometimes there’s minerals in water that mess with the yeast).

Do not use any metal utensils on the yeast until it’s started up. Wood or plastic only. After it’s strong the metal won’t be a problem.

Day 1

In your jar, mix together 4 ounces in weight of both water and flour. This comes out to about ¾ cup all purpose flour, and ½ cup of water. It doesn’t have to be exact. What you are going for is like a thickish pancake batter. If you’re using a whole grain you’ll need to use a closer ration of flour/water since it absorbs more. Depending on the humidity of your kitchen, you could need to adjust as well. My advice is you add a little bit of flour at a time, instead of dumping it all in at once. Cover loosely, enough to keep dust & bugs out but open enough for it to breathe. A flour sack towel is good, or you can use one of those sandwich bags over the top of the jar. Store somewhere with a consistent temp between 60-78 ish Fahrenheit. 70-75 is ideal, but my house is always colder. Don’t let it get put by the oven when it’s on, or you risk the chance of killing it 

Day 2

Pull down your jar. You might already start to see some bubbles, and this is good! That’s the yeast eating. It’s fine if you don’t see any activity yet though. I suppose now is the time is to tell you that not to be concerned about any icky bacteria - the yeast keeps the mix too acidic for anything nasty to grow. You’ll want to vigorously mix in the same amounts of flour and water as you did yesterday, then recover it, and put it back in the spot you found for it.

Day 3

Check you starter, it should have bubbles all along the surface by now, and it should seem bigger than what it was when you put it up yesterday. It’s going to smell sour and musty as well (Mine was almost like a weird fruity smell for awhile!). Add in the same proportions of flour to water as you have before, you’ll probably hear little bubbles popping and smacking while you vigorously stir. Cover it, put it back in it’s place.

Day 4

The starter should be very bubbly, and will have doubled in volume (or, you’ll evidence on the sides of the jar that it grew and then deflated). If you stir it, it’s going to feel loose, and it’ll smell yeasty. Add the same proportions of flour and water as before. Stir until smooth, it’ll look silky. It honestly reminds me so much of the fake slime some people use for stimming? Cover it, put it up until tomorrow.

Day 5

Check the starter - if it’s entirely webbed with bubbles, smells acidy, yeasty, and “fresh”. It’s safe to taste - which it should be sour. If it all looks good, congratulations! Your starter is ripe and ready to make a leaven with. Those instructions will come in a further post. If you see activity, but it doesn’t seem done yet, continue with the maintenance instructions that will follow daily. If there is no activity at all something is wrong and you will need to troubleshoot and start over entirely.

Maintenance Instructions:

At this point the starter is too large too effectively feed anymore, so you’ll need to use or throw away half of the batter. Save half, then feed with the proportions you established when you started it. Do this daily for as long as the starter is on the counter.

If the starter is established, but it’s going to be awhile before you bake, place in the refrigerator and feed weekly. You’ll want to remove it 2-3 days before baking and follow daily maintenance directions.

Note: If at any point your start develops a dark liquid on top, don’t freak out! This is called hooch, and it is alcohol waste leftover from the yeast feeding. It just means your starter is hungry and needs to be fed more often, or you need to reduce the batter more before feeding. Poor off the liquid if there’s a ton, then feed.

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Obviously this makes a lot of starter, and with you only needing about ¼ cup for two loaves of bread, it can seem wasteful. The good thing, is that you can use the starter batter mixed into any pancake or muffin dough, you just won’t need leavener (baking soda/powder). I also plan to write posts with alternative recipe ideas. Last night I prepped cinnamon rolls with extra starter and let them rise overnight. Baked them in the morning and they’re amazzzzzing. I’m going to have plenty for other experiments. Also, if a friend or family member wants a starter, just give them your extra starter in a jar with some feeding directions. :)

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As far as the magick side of it, there’s a whole lot you can do as a kitchen witch during all steps of these processes. As someone who talks to her houseplants I found myself treating the starter like a little pet and being affectionate towards it. My first loaf was picture perfect, and I’d like to think this might have been why. ;)

When we get to the bread, I’ll explain how to enchant the bread with a specific purpose when you make it. As far as the starter is concerned, I would do something generic if anything since you’ll be (theoretically) growing this one specimen your whole life. I focused on strength and health of the starter itself, to make sure that it could make wonderful bread.

I love how Arby’s is a “thing” in Night Vale and then the Arby’s commercial slogan in reality is “WE HAVE THE MEATS”. It’s so Nightvalian.

But I’m sure in Night Vale it would be more like:

“WE HAVE THE MEATS. ONLY MEATS. NO WHEAT OR WHEAT BY PRODUCTS. DO NOT ASK WHAT KIND OF MEATS. MEATS.

Me, on a date: do you want to commit treason? 
Date: sure why not? 
Me, stuffing breadsticks into my purse: take all the wheat by products you can get and run home, right now, immediately.

Things to avoid in dog food.

Since I keep seeing people ask over and over again in husky groups “what is a good dry kibble to feed my dog”, here is a list of things NOT to feed. All you have to do is read the ingredients, and remember that none of this crap belongs in your dog’s food:

CORN, SOY, WHEAT, BY-PRODUCTS, PROPYLENE GLYCOL, ARTIFICIAL COLORS & FLAVORS, MENADIONE, BHA & BHT, THE GENERIC WORDS “ANIMAL, POULTRY OR MEAT”

As a rule of thumb, if you can get it in the grocery store.. it’s probably mostly garbage.

So just to be clear–GMO is a genetically modified organism. Do you guys even realize what GMO’s are every single piece of corn you have is a GMO since you’re not eating maize. Same w a shitton of wheat, like this one guy Norman Borlaug won a Nobel Prize bc he saved millions of Mexican, Indian, and Pakistsni lives by cultivating a strain of wheat that greatly increased production. Like any of L Corp’s forrays into anything to do with plants would thus conclude in a GMO. GMOs can also be flowers, trees, vegetables, fruits, etc.

Organic is a different matter but do you really think the actual person who’s probably the one engineering several GMO’s would be anti GMO Sure she’d probably be healthy. But like. Lmao lena’s an engineer people who are anti GMO probably drive her nUTS. Also may I remind you that Kara is technically a GMO if you think Lena wouldn’t eat her you’re dead wrong

god i love welcome to night vale i love it so much

like, okay, as a millennial coming of a age in a fundamentally damaged world where i’m expected to abide by this arbitrary system of rules created by a generation that’s entirely out-of-touch with the constantly-changing social and technological landscape, i find myself living in a world that makes no sense. when you couple that with my various issues (broken family, money problems, depression and anhedonia), it feels sometimes like there’s this huge chasm between me and what people call “reality”. and wtnv gets that.

the town of night vale operates by rules that make no sense. it’s like if you printed out a bunch of conspiracy theories and the complete works of hp lovecraft, mixed the pages up, and then gave this stack of paper to a five year old and told that kid to go nuts. librarians are hideous monsters, the secret police outlaw wheat and wheat by-products, wednesdays don’t exist, and the sky is void. and intermixed with all this are things like a pizza parlor, a barbershop, a bowling alley, an arby’s. and when you combine this absurdity with the neodadist humor of meme culture and the (to borrow a phrase from jack @cryingalonewithfrankenstein) grim cyberpunk present, you get something that makes sense - not as a town, but as a setting. i recognize the town of night vale because it doesn’t make sense, just like the world i live in.

the only way you can begin to understand the shape of night vale is through its voice, cecil. and through cecil you learn about the people of the town: tamika flynn, old woman josie and her erikas, steve carlsberg, john peters - you know, the farmer?, and of course, beautiful, perfect, carlos. the people in night vale are all distinct, and unique. they have their own individual voices and struggles. and their struggles, most importantly, reflect universal human ones.

there are a lot of things that happen in night vale that could and would never happen in the real world. but the way that the citizens of night vale react to them are what forms the emotional core of the show. it’s almost impossible to not relate to them and to understand them as people. their struggles in an absurd world are done so artfully that they mirror and symbolize real-world struggles. and that’s the beauty of the show.

wtnv doesn’t take it’s surreal nature as an opportunity for the gibbering insanity that permeates lovecraftian fiction. instead it uses its absurdity to highlight the most mundane bits of human nature - a boyfriend who gets wrapped up in his work, a teenaged girl who forgets about her loving family and her responsibilities in the world around her, a single mother struggling to connect to her son - and reminds us that these dramas, these small struggles and big struggles and medium-sized struggles, can be survived. tomorrow might be cancelled, but at least we’ll have learned something from today.

i might relate to wtnv’s absurdist, horrifying, bleak landscape in a certain depressing way that can only be resolved through laughter, but its characters inspire me and i can’t ever be too grateful for that.

dolly-reverie replied to your post “I’ve spent the last six weeks wondering why the meds I was prescribed…”

Are you fucking kidding me how many fucking testing stages did that manage to get through without anyone questioning it????

I honestly don’t know but because I just realized I didn’t point out which med it was, hey fam if you’re currently taking the generic forms of Levsin (Hyoscyamine) (also known as  Levsin, Oscimin, Hyosyne, HyoMax-SL, Ed-spaz, and Anaspaz) and your pills changed shape/size/is no longer a plain pill but capsuled, please check your inactive ingredients for lactose and wheat. I dunno what fuckstick decided it was a good idea but there you go. Hopefully it was just one batch before people went nuts and caused a riot and I’m only just now realizing it cause I’m slow and haven’t needed to take it for months so didn’t notice right away.

Also because most people don’t seem to know this: IMODIUM® Complete is delightfully vague about their ingredients and the only official statement they give is that it may or may not be made from wheat derived products, so if you take Imodium for gluten induced stomach issues, just be careful it’s not the gel capsule ones, they’re gluten free but not necessarily wheat free which is a major allergen unto itself

The more you now.

Disease..

 Human disease is caused by wrong rhythm of life, by ignorance of the law of periodicity. The appearance of man on the planet is not the cause of disease. There was disease in the mineral, vegetable, and animal kingdoms long before man. The basic cause of disease are mistakes about the law of periodicity, the law regulating the processes of nature. The law of periodicity can be studied in sexuality, for example such as it expresses itself in woman, in particular. By following this arrangement of nature, the cyclic manifestation of sexual impulses, important discoveries about the rhythm of life could be made. The application of this understanding would eliminate most causes of disease. The knowledge of the law of periodicity is in itself an entire discipline, which will be given to mankind when it proves itself able to comply with the laws of life.

 Mankind has never sought to apply these laws, even though the wise men of all ages have intimated their existence. The planetary hierarchy casts no pearls. Pearls will be given to mankind, when it proves itself able to estimate their true value. All disease is caused by mistakes made about laws of nature and laws of life in this life or in past lives. Some people in the esoteric field assert that disease can be cured in some cases, but that this is possible only if you know the causes (in past lives) and, having a full knowledge of each particular cause-effect condition. Otherwise, the consequence will be that a certain organ is cured, but not the constitution, so that the disease is transferred to another organ….or the “germ of disease” may be transferred to a higher “envelope” and must work itself out in the next incarnation, if not in this one. So once again, the cause of disease MAY lie in past incarnations.

To look at a few things more specifically:
  -Diseases that result from hatred (criticism and judgment) depend on energies going from the throat center to the navel center. 

   -The organism(body or being), has been whipped up to abnormal performance through stimulants, and the individual will have to pay for this. 

   -Physical disease is the result partly of wrong stimulation, over-stimulation, wrongly applied stimulation, or some sort of inner tension; partly of inhibitions, psychic deprivation, or congestion of energies. 

   -Irritation results from self-interest, self-sufficiency, and self-satisfaction. 

 The cause of disease is not only, as many sects believe, illogical thinking. If that were the case, then everybody would be incurably ill. It’s also important to note that the zodiac signs each have a certain mineral(cell salt) that they associates themselves with..and in tern, they associate themselves with a particular body part. When we’re in compliance and in rhythm with these minerals, disease may also be avoided, or at the very least, we can minimize damaging effects that are created from their deficiency.
The 12 zodiac cell salts are as follows:

Aries - Potassium Phosphate, Rules the head, face, brain, eyes, muscles, pineal gland. Said to be good as a brain food helpful for nerve and brain imbalances. Foods containing this salt include Parsley, Beans, Beets, Carrots, Linseed Meal, Peanuts, Milk, Buttermilk, Cheese and Avocados.
Diseases: Headache, migraine, pimples on the face, sinus problems, nosebleeds, fever, inflammation, haemorrhage, high blood pressure, burns, scalds, toothaches, baldness.

Taurus - Sodium Sulphate, Rules the neck, throat, thyroid gland, vocal chords, larynx, chin, lower jaw, ears, tongue, vocal chords, tonsils. Said to be good in regulating the water supply in the body system, decreasing or increasing it as needed. Foods containing this salt include Cauliflower, Lettuce, Cabbage, Turnips, Radishes, Onions, Egg Yolks, Celery, Brussel Sprouts, Kohlrabi, and Milk.
Diseases: Gout and joint inflammation, sore throat, Tonsillitis, stiff neck, tension, excess weight, under-active thyroid gland.

Gemini - Potassium Chloride, Rules the arms, shoulders, fingers, upper ribs, lungs, bronchial tracts, trachea, thymus gland, nerves and nervous system. Said to be good for forming and distributing fibrin throughout the body, thereby moderating coagulation. When clogging occurs, it is associated with sinus and throat problems as well as fibrous growths. Foods containing this salt include Cheese, Egg Yolks, Radishes, Coconuts, Lentils, Carrots, Spinach, Asparagus, and Sauerkraut.
Diseases: Those associated with the nerves, nervous strain, chest and lung complaints, asthma, insomnia, amnesia, all diseases in the arms, shoulders, hands, corrupted blood.

Cancer - Calcium Flouride, Rules the stomach, breasts, breastbone, alimentary canal, lower ribs, womb, pancreas. Said to be good for muscle and ligament tonicity, (thus helping prevent muscle prolapsis) as well as healthy teeth enamel. Foods containing this salt include Turnips, Asparagus, Beets, Goat Cheese, Kelp, Garlic, and Pineapple.
Diseases: Stomach and digestive complaints, upset stomach, breast disorders, lymphatic system disorders, obesity.

Leo - Magnesium Phosphate, Rules the heart, upper back, spine, spleen, aorta, circulation. Said to be good for healthy nerve tissue, thus assisting nerve transmission. Foods containing this salt include Cauliflower, Cabbage, Asparagus, Beechnuts, Almonds, Whole Wheat, as well as fruits such as Lemons, Limes, Oranges, Grapefruit, Figs, Gooseberries, Peaches, and Cherries.
Diseases: Heart problems, hardening of the arteries, high or low blood pressure, spinal and back problems, blood disorders, all sicknesses in the ribs and sides, the yellow-Jaundices.

Virgo - Potassium Sulphate, Rules the stomach, intestines, nervous system, abdomen, lower dorsal nerves, bowels, nails, spleen. Said to be good for circulation of oils through our body, which supposedly assists digestion and kidney function, as well as excretion of toxins through the skin. Foods containing this salt include Cauliflower, Lettuce, Cabbage, Onions, Celery, Brussel Sprouts, Tomatoes and Cucumbers.
Diseases: Anxiety, nervous tension, bowel and digestive system disorders, intestinal disorders, abdominal disorders.

Libra - Sodium Phosphate, Rules the kidneys, lower back, lumbar region, buttocks, adrenal glands, blood vessels, skin. Said to be good for balancing the acid-alkaline function in our bodies, thus helping all acid conditions which affect the nervous system. Foods containing this salt include Cottage Cheese, Eggs, Buttermilk, Brown Rice, Tomato juice, Cirtus fruits and juices, Whole Wheat products, Lentils, Vegetable Greens, Asparagus, and Parsley.
Diseases: Associated with the kidneys and any problems that arise with them, obesity, cholesterol problems, acne, etc.

Scorpio - Calcium Sulphate, Rules the reproductive organs, sexual organs, bowels, excretory system. Said to be good for building and sustaining epithelial tissue, thus supposedly good for all skin diseases. Foods containing this salt include Cauliflower, Lettuce, Cabbage, Turnips, Radishes, Onions, Egg Yolks, Celery, Brussel Sprouts, Kohlrabi, and Milk.
Diseases: Associated with ailments of the reproductive and excretory systems, stone in the bladder, ruptures, and other diseases related to their genital organs.

Sagittarius - Silica, Rules the thighs, liver, hips, arterial system, pelvis, femur.
Said to be good for building and maintaining skin, hair, nails, and nerve coverings, as well as removing decomposed matter from the skin. Foods containing this salt include Endive, Barley, Oats, raw Cabbage, Cucumber skins, Shredded Wheat, Rye and Whole Wheat products, Spinach, Peas, Carrots, Gooseberries, and Strawberries.
Diseases: Complaints of liver, weight issues and over-indulgence in food, alcohol and drugs.

Capricorn - Calcium Phosphate, Rules the knees, joints, bones, skin, teeth. Said to be good as a bone builder and helpful in any bone disease. Foods containing this salt include Parsley, Beans, Beets, Carrots, Linseed Meal, Peanuts, Milk, Buttermilk, Cheese and Avocados.
Diseases: Dental problems, skin problems, arthritis, all diseases related to knees, joints, either by strains or fractures.

Aquarius - Sodium Chloride, Rules the ankles, circulatory system, Achilles heel, calves, shins, breath, eyesight. Said to be good for regulating the water supply throughout the body, thus affecting elimination and how “cool” or “hot” we are regardless of the temperature. Foods containing this salt include Onions, Celery, Tomatoes, Almonds, Apples, Spinach, Peaches, Pecans, Lentils, Sauerkraut, Eff Yolks, Swiss chard, and Roquefort and Goat Cheese.
Diseases: Circulatory problems, varicose veins, anxiety, muscular spasms, arthritis, palpitations.

Pisces - Ferrous Phosphate, Rules the feet, toes, lymphatic system, adipose tissue. Said to be good for transporting oxygen throughout the body, thus aiding circulation which assists the purifying and stimulating of internal organs. Foods containing this salt include Raisins, Prunes, Plums, Grapes, Figs, Oranges, Spinach, Currants, Mushrooms, Dates, Beets, Wheat Bran, and Lima Beans.
Diseases: Addiction to alcohol or drugs, suspension of normal functioning, general lethargy, all diseases in the feet, colds, immune system problems, fluid retention, hormonal imbalances, chilblains, glandular problems.

dealingishard  asked:

Do you do the thing where you crave things you are allergic to in a self destructive way? When I am depressed I don't eat for a long time and then binge eat all the things that I can't eat and then feel even worse. I can't figure out how to stop other than not having the food around (which is hard because my roommate is allergic to nothing) do you have any suggestions?

I legitimately crave meat every now and then, and a whole bunch of other shit I know I can’t have. 

For me I’ve been able to Not Do The Thing because giving in can literally make me ill for weeks and I’d rather just not deal with that anymore or risk having to stabbing myself with an epi pen, but if it helps to know, there are some theories that when you have food intolerances and allergic issues certain things are going on in your body which make a batshit kind of sense. 

Allow me to paraphrase wildly here, basically the there was a study recently that suggested that eating small, tiny tiny amounts of the thing you are allergic to (usually done under medical supervision) can help boost your tolerance and eliminate the issue, so now some researchers are proposing the idea that when your body is craving things you shouldn’t have, it might actually be trying to “fix” itself. This is wildly under explained but yea, there’s some science to back up why we possibly crave foods we are allergic to, and it’s got nothing to do with “I’m a self destructive piece of shit, witness me!”

The body can also become addicted to cortisol, and get wired up wrong so that it finds the stress hormone soothing, so that might also be another reason, again this was stuff I read recently in a fairly new study so I dunno how concrete it is, but it makes me feel better about my body going “you know what we should eat, red meat slapped between two slices of wheat product, boy doesn’t death sound delicious

As for how I avoid it, I eat something else. Usually I’m just hungry and my body is just craving, so I go off and make some soup with far too much salt in it to try and sate the junk food craving, or I slice up potatoes and roast em real quick and have some salty starch to tide me over. Sweet things are more difficult at the moment because sugar is making me feverish, but I’m hoping, hoping, I’ll be able to start eating homemade jam again on some oatcakes or something. I can also eat fresh caramel sauce without issue, but not once it’s set…so that’s my excuse for drinking it out of the pan and none of you can stop me. 

When I needed to stop eating certain things immediately and was struggling to do it, I just stopped buying it. ETD had to put up with a barren wasteland of a pantry until my body stopped going “lick all the wheat things” and after about 3-4 weeks the cravings subsided and I’m back to making bread and other things and don’t feel the compulsion to shove them in my mouth for the quick easy carbs. 

You basically just have to make the conscious decision to stop hurting yourself, and to let the cravings work their way out. Your body is most likely addicted to certain things, whether it’s the sugars the salt or the easy energy you get from it, and you giving it what it wants every now and then despite the fact that it’s really bad for you in terms of allergies, is feeding into it and keeps you in the cycle of craving things you are allergic to. So take your time, and try not to punish yourself too much if you end up giving in.

Just be aware that once you do give up certain foods for good and ever go back to them, your reaction can be very very severe if not life threatening, especially if it’s a genuine allergy. So please just be careful and take care of yourself <3