wheat by product

I always love the idea of Carlos doing normal shit and Cecil freaking out.

“Carlos what is that”
“It’s a pen”
“CARLOS THATS ILLEGAL”
“What am I meant to make notes with then Ceec?”

“Hey Ceec, want a sandwich?”
“W h a t”
“I’m making sandwiches. Or I can do pasta if you want?”
“CARLOS THOSE ARE WHEAT OR WHEAT BY-PRODUCTS WHAT ARE YOU DOING??”

“Happy Valentine’s Day Ceec!”
“CARLOS ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED???”

youtube

Unwanted guests and illegal wheat and wheat-by products - in their very own HOME. Whatever are Cecil and Carlos going to do?

Our first ever Welcome to Night Vale parody is up on Youtube now! 

Starring @flamboyantwreck as Cecil Palmer, myself as Carlos the Scientist and @zer0tucker as Steve Carlsberg.

Things to avoid in dog food.

Since I keep seeing people ask over and over again in husky groups “what is a good dry kibble to feed my dog”, here is a list of things NOT to feed. All you have to do is read the ingredients, and remember that none of this crap belongs in your dog’s food:

CORN, SOY, WHEAT, BY-PRODUCTS, PROPYLENE GLYCOL, ARTIFICIAL COLORS & FLAVORS, MENADIONE, BHA & BHT, THE GENERIC WORDS “ANIMAL, POULTRY OR MEAT”

As a rule of thumb, if you can get it in the grocery store.. it’s probably mostly garbage.

Me, on a date: do you want to commit treason? 
Date: sure why not? 
Me, stuffing breadsticks into my purse: take all the wheat by products you can get and run home, right now, immediately.

I love how Arby’s is a “thing” in Night Vale and then the Arby’s commercial slogan in reality is “WE HAVE THE MEATS”. It’s so Nightvalian.

But I’m sure in Night Vale it would be more like:

“WE HAVE THE MEATS. ONLY MEATS. NO WHEAT OR WHEAT BY PRODUCTS. DO NOT ASK WHAT KIND OF MEATS. MEATS.

On a date in Night Vale

Me on a Date: So what are your interests?
Them: Well, I like mountain climbing -
Me, shoving breadsticks into purse:
MOUNTAINS AREN’T REAL.
Sheriff’s Secret Police: *arrest me for possession of wheat/wheat by-products* Sorry we have to go right now immediately.

  • Cecil: Listeners, it's time for the Children's Fun Fact Science Corner! Today's topic, Pokémon Go tips! Despite popular opinion, the following are not Pokémon: The Mysterious Hooded Figures; librarians; the feeling of jerking awake you get when you dream that you are falling; Hiram McDaniels; realtors; wheat and wheat by products; the dead animals that occasionally rain from the Glow Cloud (all hail); ice cream cones. This has been Children's Fun Fact Science Corner.