whay-do-this-to-me

So at least on my dash, nobody ever drags the xxTPs, so I'mma do it really fast bc y'all really piss me off from time to time.

Like would it kill you to NOT critique rules from time to time trying to find all the damn loopholes? Like pls can u not. LIKE SURPRISINGLY JUST BC SOMETHING DOESN’T MAKE SENSE TO YOU DOESN’T MEAN IT’S NOT SENSIBLE IN THE LONG RUN?? Like is it so hard to realize that if you take into account EVERY SINGLE tiny ass thing you guys pick out, nothing would ever get done???

Rules, laws, procedures, etc, they’re there to make things easier. And like?? Honestly fuck you, ExTPs? Stop blatantly doing the loophole thing that the rules don’t cover just because you can. Y'all are so damn full of acting like a dick while not coming up with PROPER SOLUTIONS. And you, IxTPs? Just stop. You may not outwardly defy the untold laws, but you still don’t come up with solutions like the shut in you are.

Keep to your own crap and leave laws alone.

Glued hearts part 6

Summary: You finally got some answers but was Jimin going to believe you?

Genre: Angst/ just a bit of swearing  and mentions of blood (I’m sorry)

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

Originally posted by the-rap-man


Who did he think he was? Giving up his friends just for her? You angrily kicked a peddle across the street and huffed. Just something was off about her. The vibe around was… Always trust you gut right? “Stupid Jimin” you mumbled and this time a chestnust felt your wrath.

You took in your surroundings and noticed that this was where you were kidnapped 3 weeks ago. And now here you are, again walking alone in the night. “I am not that smart, aren’t I?” You chuckled to yourself and quickened your pace just in case. A sudden vibration was felt in your pants. You fished your phone out of it and saw that Seokjin was calling you. “Yes?” You answered. “Stay where you are and don’t move. I’m coming” you heard Jin panting. “Uhm why should I do that?” “Well it’s not safe y/n.” He got a point there. “Dear Seokjinnie do you think it’s safe if I waited here for you alone?” You laughed and shook your head. “Okay, that is something I totally forgot. Well can you turn around and walk towards me, I can’t let you walk alone.” He reasoned. “Ugh fine but -” “no buts y/n. And dont hang up the phone. Keep talking to me.” Seriously did they thought you were 5 or something? But you quickly shook that thought of your mind. They were looking out for you because they care about you. A smile formed your lips and turned around to meet Seokjin. “Uhm y/n?” Seokjin asked you after a couple of minutes of silence. 

Both of you were now walking back to your apartment. You hummed telling him to go on. “About tonight with Jimin and Yura…..” he trailed off and nervously looked at you. This made you laugh. “It’s okay don’t be scared. I just snapped back there. I shouldn’t have done that though. I probably should call Jimin later to apologize” you twiddled your fingers feeling quilty for snapping at them. “No! I get it. I mean Jimin is your best friend and well he really hasn’t been here since Yura is in his life.” Jin sighed and linked your arms together. You sighed too and looked down at the pavement. 

“You know Seokjin. I am being selfish right now. Jimin is right though. Accusing Yura while I really don’t know her that well. I always tell myself that I won’t judge and I shouldn’t, but at the back of my mind I know something’s off. since the first time I met her I had that feeling. But I couldn’t say anything because Jimin was head over heels for her. He still is and I want him to be happy. I want him to feel loved. That smile everytime he saw her” you laid your head on Jin’s shoulder and breathed in. “That smile, it cures any pain. And than the twinkeling in his eyes whenever he talked to her or spoke about her. He is so happy. When he called me to tell me she asked him to be her boyfriend.. woaa Seokjin you know how happy he sounded?” You felt Seokjin shaking his head. “I can’t express it with words. He sounded so happy, so so so happy. That even I, I who is in love with him, got that feeling of happiness for a flash but that didn’t last long unfortunately. What I am trying to say is that I am afraid Yura will hurt him. Bad. I have a feeling she is using him and I hate it so much!” You suddenly screamed it out. Seokjin jumped from the sudden loudness. You lifted your head from his shoulder and yanked your arm out of his. 

“I just don’t know what to do Seok! Just since that night.. everything became weird and unknown. First Jimin, than Kiba and the pill and all those lies” your voice lowering to a whisper. You sighed and clasped your hands together. When you took note of your surroundings you noticed you were standing infront of your appartment. You turned around to thank Seokjin for walking you home. “Thank you Jin” you said and gave him a quick hug. “Y/n” he sofly said. Questions were forming inside but he didn’t want to ask you yet. You were tired so he decided to wait. “Just so you know, we’re here for you allright? You can always call us.” You smiled and pecked him on the cheek. “I know. Give the rest a peck goodnight for me yeah?” You chuckled. He rolled his eyes and playfully smacked your arm. “Goodnight Jin” you grabbed your keys and unlocked the door but before you went inside you said: “And text me when you’re back okay?” And with that you went inside and closed the door. 

 The warm soothing water made their way down your body. The soft scent of lavender filled the room and hugged your body. Calmness took over you and let the rays of the shower hit your body. After a 7 minute shower you dried yourself off and put on your pajama’s. While you were braiding your hair for the night you couldn’t help but take quick glances at your phone. You had received a message from Seokjin that he got home safely and he had given everyone a goodnight peck on the cheek but that’s not why you were looking at your phone every 4 seconds. 

Should you text Jimin? Apologize? Well you probably should. You weren’t very kind to him. and her. You groaned out from frustration and planted your forehead on the desk. “Whay should I do?” You whined and stared at your phone. “phoney? Please tell me. Should I text him?” You murmered. You sat up again and stroked your fingers against your chin. “hmm how about this. Dear phone I will text Jimin if I receive a textmessage within 2 minutes. It doesn’t have to be him it can be anyone. Just a text. If I don’t receive one than I won’t. Deal?” You said and nodded your head. Satisfied with your idea. You glanced at the clock and made a mental note to yourself. “Over 2 minutes.” You plopped down on your bed and grabbed the book from the nightstand. 

 Bangtan pov 

 “Come on Jimin. She was rude why are you sulking?” Yura said as she rubbed his shoulders. “She is my best friend Yura” Jimin sighed and stood up from te couch. He made his way over to the kitchen to grab a drink. Since that day there was distance between you and him and he didn’t like it. But you were so… so… “shit” he whispered shouted and slammed his fist against the door of the frigde. “ me and my curious self. Why didn’t I leave? All of this wouldn’t have happened.” Jimin slammed his fist again, against the door and cursed. “Jimin don’t blame yourself babe. Y/n is jealous. She wants you for herself. I’ve said it so many times but you wouldn’t believe me. Maybe you should cut her from your life. You know just for awhile” Yura rubbed his back and pulled him into a hug. Jimin put his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. In the hope the hug would glue back the broken the pieces he felt right now. 

 Yoongi scoffed at the sight. He saw the smirk on her face, he saw how she looked at you. Wishing you could dissappear there and than. Yoongi balled his fists at the thought and turned around. He wanted everything to go back to how it was. Fun game nights, you and Jimin teasing eachother, laughing together. How you took care of Jimin and the others. 

 “Yoongi?” He was startled from the sudden voice and looked up. “Oh hey hyung” he said and walked over to him. “Where are you coming from?” He asked him. Wasn’t it past midnight? “Oh I walked y/n home” Seokjin replied and shrugged of his coat, hung it up and got out of his shoes. “Is something wrong Yoongi?” Seokjin noticed his fists clenching near his side and the frown on his face could tell him that something bothered him. Yoongi sighed and grabbed his arm. “Just look around the corner.” was all he said. Jin raised his eyebrows at this and stared at him. “What?” “Just do it! Aaish” Seokjin put his hands up in surrender. He looked around the corner and saw Jimin and Yura hugging. “Uhm what am I supposed to see? I don’t see anything out of the ordinary. Just Jimin and Yura” he mentioned. “and that’s what is bothering me. Since they got together everything is, is so different and I don’t like it. It’s not that I am blaming Yura but there is something about her and I don’t like it.” 

Seokjin sighed and put his hand on Yoongi shoulder. “Just come with me. Jimin and y/n had a fight. Again. She feels it too. Something is off about Yura and she told about a Kiba? I don’t even know who that is. Anyways this is getting intense and we need to do something but I don’t know what? It’s like a puzzle” Jin confessed. Yoongi was sitting on his bed and stared into space. “Kiba?” He asked confused. “Yes Kiba. And she mentioned a pill.” “A pill!?” Yoongi abruptly stood up from the bed and walked over to Jin. “A pill? Seriously she needs to tell me. If she tells about that Kiba guy and the pill maybe this is piece of the puzzle. We need to talk to her.” Yoongi ran to the door and pulled down the handle. 

“Just let her sleep. You can talk to her tomorrow okay?” Jin held his wrist before he could call or go to you. “You’re right. We will talk tomorrow. Thank you Jin for telling me. Goodnight” “Oh wait!” “what is it?” Jin pecked him on the cheek and pushed him out of his room. “What the h -” Jin laughed. “sorry y/n asked me this” he laughed again and closed the door. 

 Your pov

“Aaagghh” you yelled and slammed your fist against the matress. It seemed like you would not catch sleep tonight. You threw the blanket off you and sat now on the edge of your bed. “Joh frick this shit I am calling Jimin, I don’t care anymore” you snatched your phone from the nightstand and dialed Jimin’s number. You put the phone against your ear and went downstairs. “Seems like I have to do groceries tomorrow…” you said to yourself as you saw an almost empty fridge. “Hi! I’m sorry I can’t pick up the phone right now. I will call you back asap!” You huffed and dialed again. Your eyes drifted around the room. The couch which was used for  ‘councelings’ session for Jimin. The kitchen table where you mostly sat with him and just talked about anything. Lots of things remembered you of Jimin and it made you smile. 

But that smile fell from your face and your heart stopped. Your eyes locking with his. The phone slit out of your hand and dropped on the floor. You sprinted to the door and tried to pull it open. “Shit. Ofcourse it’s locked” you mentally facepalmed yourself. Two hands slamming against the door startled you. You turned around and came face to face with him and the smirk on his face pissed you off. “What are you doing here? I’m not coming back and you’re not forcing me.” Kiba laughed. “don’t worry sweetheart. You will come back out of your own free will.” You couldn’t help but laugh. “Woaaa haha. Do you think I will join you again? And out of my own free will? Did you hit your head or something” you wiped some tears from laughing and flicked his forehead. This pissed him off. “Yah! Who do you think you are huh?” He grabbed your hands, held them above your head and pushed his body against yours, trapping you. “You see babe. You have no other choice. Have you ever heard of Yura? Yura who is dating. Uhm what was his name again?” He breathed into your neck. “Oh yeah. Jimin! That’s his name.” You closed your eyes and tried to not show him fear. “What got she to do with t- this?” You tried to sound unfaced but you winced when you heard the little crack at the end of your sentence. “If you behave and just come with me she will take care of Jimin and she won’t hurt him. But…” he trailed kisses down your neck and swirled his tongue at your collarbone. “But if you don’t, your Jimminie will feel so much pain because you left him, because you hate him, because you don’t want to ever see him again.” 

“what do you mean?” You whispered. Your lips were trembling, your whole body was shaking. ‘Don’t cry y/n, don’t cry’ you thought and swallowed the lump in your throat. “I mean that everyone will think you left because you hate them, because you don’t want to see them again. But don’t worry Yura will be there.” 

Kiba suddenly dropped to the floor whimpering in pain. “Fuck you! You can’t threaten me or us like that” you had kicked him in his groin and were now hovering over him, holding him up by his shirt. Your fist came in contact with his cheek and he spat out blood. Kiba grabbed your face and pushed you of him. Now he was hovering over you. “Bitch! That hurt like shit!” He punched you and punched you. He was angry. How dare you to challenge him. He lost so much money, he lost power. People, other gangs weren’t afraid anymore. He wasn’t number 1 anymore and it was all your fault. 

He kicked and punched, blinded by money and power. You tried to block your face but he slapped them away and landed punch by punch. He kicked your sides and pulled your hair. You were crying out in pain trying to get away. Your eyes landed on the vase next to you. You pushed your fingers in his eyes causing him to stop and reaching for his face. You took hold of the vase and smashed the vase in pieces against the wall. You grabbed a sharp pieces and stabbed him. You stabbed and stabbed until he stopped moving and just lay there. 

You were breathing heavily and tried to stand up but your legs gave out. Everything hurt. Your face was trobbing and you saw blood everywhere. “Ji - Jimin” you whispered, tears streaming down your face painfully. “Ji - Jin, Yoo - ngi.” You stood up again and wobbled over to the phone. You snatched it from the floor and grabbed the keys from the kitchencounter. You stepped over Kiba and made your way outside. 

You needed to warn Jimin, you need to warn the others. You were wobbling down the streets on your way to their dorm. You were banging your fist against the wood and you didn’t stop. “geeez who the heck is knocking on my door at 3 in the freaking morning” a muffled voice said on the other side of the door. “Please. Open the door please” you begged. “Y/n?” the door swung open and shocked Jimin was standing in the door way. “Jimin!” You cried and threw your arms around his waist. Your legs hurt so bad and you dropped on your knees. Your head buried in his shirt, smearing it with your blood. But you didn’t care. You were with Jimin, Jimin was safe, Jimin was here and you weren’t going to let go of him soon.

2

Face transformation! A friend from high school tagged me in some pictures from our senior year (2004).

Eleven years ago, I weighed close to 400 pounds (I never knew an exact number until 2008). I was not happy with myself. I was not eating healthy, or exercising. At this point in my life, I probably didn’t even know whay to do to begin being healthy. I let my weight control me and keep me from doing things. I never had a boyfriend in high school. I never kissed anyone. I never went to football games. I went to one dance, plus prom, because people told me I’d regret it if I didn’t, and I was miserable at both. I told myself and everyone I was fine, but I can clearly see my face in this picture, and know how unhappy I was.

Fast forward to 2015. I’m on a journey. I’m happy with parts of my life. Other parts cause me a great deal of stress. I complain a lot. I’m still not where I want to be weight or health wise, but I AM healthy overall. I am happy overall. I don’t let my weight keep me from doing things. I have a boyfriend who is wonderful and we have a daughter who is perfect. I have friends who cheer me on and make me want to be a better person.

I still have a long way to go, but I’ve come so far. It’s easy, on these long, drawn out journeys, to forget where you came from and how far you’ve come. I don’t want to ever lose sight of the progress I’ve made, because that progress is one of my biggesr motivators to keep going.