whats up with this crazy shit

drags for the signs (bc fuck you)
  • Aries: you're not cool for being crazy enough to throw iced coffee at that car. We almost got arrested bitch
  • Taurus: WHY DO YOU FALL ASLEEP SO EARLY WAKE UP WHORE
  • Gemini: oh I didn't ask for your opinion on everything you hate. But look!! You're telling me it anyway.
  • Cancer: you're angry again?? What a goddamn surprise.
  • Leo: shut up. Just shut up forever you never stop talking just shut up
  • Virgo: make up your goddamn mind holy shit also clean ur fucking room aren't u supposed to be a clean freak lol
  • Libra: you're so fucking fake fuck you and your vape!!! Ur a spineless snake
  • Scorpio: boohoo she doesn't like you back move on with your life it's been 2 years holy fuck
  • Sagittarius: being an asshole and saying you hate everyone doesn't make you "quirky" it makes you a piece of shit
  • Capricorn: u judge everyone abt everything and make the WORST life decisions ever. U need to shut the fuck up and stop dragging ppl down into ur hopeless lil spiral lmao
  • Aquarius: also makes poor life decisions. Get your head out of your own ass you're not that great.
  • Pisces: gullible piece of shit I can't deal with you ever ur like a baby only you never learn anything you keep playing victim when u put yourself into situations that could have easily been avoided lmao
The Time I Took On the Military (And Won)

Considering the staggering amount of votes this one got, here you go!

ok so it’s my sweet sixteen and i took two of my closest friends paintballing. We started off alone with just the three of us. Me and this girl formed a truce so we could take out her brother. He found a building with a roof to shoot from so i was criss crossing and sliding behind shelters.

Long story short with this guy i snuck up behind his building and shot him point blank in the ass while he was climbing a ladder.

Except now his sister is my enemy and a much larger threat.

I criss cross my way back narrowly avoiding being shot. I skid to a stop behind this bush with a really gappy fence and go GOOD ENOUGH BRING IT ON and poke my muzzle through. I cant particularly see but I remembered seeing her in a little chapel window. I aim that general direction and open fire. I immediately hear HIT. When she comes out i see where i hit her. Right between the eyes like I couldnt do that again if I tried. Ill take it.

We’re back at the base ops and these massive dudes come over like “yo wanna join us we need more players” and we’re like “oh ya bud the more the merrier” so we go over and everyone is freaking massive and there’s us three tiny lil teenagers. I over hear they’re a military team and just sigh because i know im dead this is just my luck

Apparently they wanted us so that they could simulate having civilian to protect, who were also armed. (They did a piss poor job of this seriously wtf)

So the game starts and im seperated from my friends. They’re on the opposite team.

Im sticking near the leader and just generally trying not to die. He’s giving me orders as softly and nicely as he can, thinking Im scared. I mean really who wouldnt be?

I wasnt. I was ready to kick butt. When I am silent, be afraid, im planning something.

Next thing i know he’s gone. Shot, running, hiding i dont know and i dont care i gotta move there are way too many heavily armed men in these woods for me to be comfortable

Im trekking through this woodsy area keeping as low as possible because the other team has a freaking sniper and im not dealing with that no thanks im just a tiny teenager leave me alone ok

Im doing my thing and trying to find people to shoot because everyone is mia when i see people ahead.

Not my people.

And they havent seen me yet. Im looking around looking for some decent cover or somewhere to take them by surprise and there is nothing. The entire area is just thistle bushes with massive thorns. And then my idea hits. A wicked, mischievous idea. I grin behind my mask and get ready to lay my trap.

I plop myself down right in the middle of these thistles and army crawl to the path their taking and just lay still.

These guys dont see me.

They’re not expecting someone to be in these bushes cause who is that dumb.

The one dudes boot is an inch from my hand and i spring up and yell SURPRISE before shooting him right in the chest and then the two behind him. Three down, way too many to go. I ran away cackling like a witch

Dont die dont die dont die

I head out again and meet up with some more of my group. They stick me at the back to keep me out of harms way. A valiant, if ineffective effort

Enter enemy attack.

We get split up into two groups to flank them and i end up alone again. I moving slowly, spinning in a slow circled because I am EFFED

I’m a tiny lil sixteen year old girl, all alone, with about 15 guns pointed at me. I was completely surrounded. My comrades who had fled to live and fight another day are now making haste towards me like WHO LEFT THE KID BEHIND HELP HER and im like

hell no i got this

I went absolutely ape shit on their asses.

Shots are flying around me like crazy and everyone is screaming. One of the enemies shouts FALL BACK WHAT THE FU–

I hear one if my partners like HOLY SHIT SHE’S ALIVE

I barrel over one of the attackers and side arm his gun away. I break out from the Circle of Doom and make a mad dash for cover.

I leap into the air and spin to fave them. Im not getting shot in the back I an a WARRIOR

I just start spraying with a battle cry to rattle the heavens

I smack back down to earth and land in a crouch

Every single one of the attackers were shot, usually multiple times, and i didnt get shot once. Frankly no clue how i managed but I am NOT questioning it. Luck or skill I dont care

Eventually it was down to two people. Me and the other teams captain.

He’s a big, scary dude. He had a custom gun that could pop off a frankly alarming amount of shots per second.

The odds arent exactly in my favour.

We find each other right in the middle with trenches and tiny little metal fences for cover. Im walking through like plz dont shoot me i am small be nice

The dude pops up from a trench and starts firing. No mercy here.

Fine then.

I duck behind a fence and it is the most pathetic thing i have ever seen.

I have barely enough room to crouch behind it because it’s so small. The other dude finds a nice big trench and big fence the lucky lil jerk.

So we’re poppin up like weasels trying to get a shot in. I cant hit him, he cant hit me. Up and down and up and down. My fence angles down ever so slightly so im tucked in as tightly as I could. My fence is rattling as shot after shot after shot hits. The shots stop, i poke my muzzle over the edge amd lay down some fire.

And the cycle repeats

I get tired of this little exchange so the next time he goes down i lay on some cover fire and sprint like hell for a near by trench like i am just bookin it thinking dont shoot me dont shoot me imma kill you

i slide in and pop up just as he rises to take a shot. Except im not where he thought id be.

I shot him right in the side of his bald lil head.

So i won. My team legit carried me on their shoulders back to base ops

And that’s the time I, a sixteen year old girl, beat a team of militarily trained behemoths

Most to Least Intimidating Mars Signs

Aquarius Mars: Ice kings and queens right here. They’ll cut you off like you never existed. No shit talking, no arguing. You’re just dead in their book.

Scorpio Mars: Vindictive, manipulative, and borderline crazy when mad. They’ll sink your ship and their own trying to hit you where it hurts. These guys don’t give a shit once they hit a point and they will not forgive and forget.

Gemini Mars: Extremely spiteful and hateful when mad. It flips back and forth from forgiving to still pissed off. They will kill you with their words and ask why you’re dying.

Aries Mars: These guys are gonna be all up in your face. They don’t give a hoot what you think. They’ll rant and rave and blow up in a rage when upset. And then be over it seconds later while everybody around them is in shock.

Cancer Mars: Spiteful and emotionally turbulent. Slights will not be easily forgotten, but they tend to be apologetic when they know they’ve said something harsh.

Virgo Mars: They will pick you apart by your flaws and make you feel like the biggest idiot. One difficult part of how detail oriented Virgo is.

Capricorn Mars: They bottle up their anger so much and use it to help them power forward. Their grudges are long-lasting and you usually won’t even know a Capricorn Mars person dislikes you unless you get long silences because they just keep it so hidden. When they lose their temper it’s like an earthquake though - devastating and over quickly.

Taurus Mars: They hold a very intense grudge, but rarely do they do anything about it. Really just very stubborn and tend to latch on to their anger.

Sagittarius Mars: Really difficult to get a rise out of them, because they don’t care for negativity and will just run away from it. But they do have a tendency to pop off and own you with some very blunt arguing if pushed too far.

Leo Mars: Very relaxed Mars sign, but if pushed too far there can be quite an explosion from these guys.

Pisces Mars: Sensitive and prone to crying during disputes even if they’re not at fault. They’ll probably spend a lot of it apologizing and low-key manipulating you to feel bad for them.

Libra Mars: Not extremely intimidating. Tend to just want to smooth over the issues even if you caused it. They’re easily forgiving and don’t tend to be very harsh.

It’s crazy to me that there are people who leave a fandom or stop following a group after a comeback because they didn’t like the new concept. To me that’s part of what makes kpop so fun; the mystery of “what’s going to be next?” I love it when groups switch it up and try new things and experiment. Yeah there are certain concepts I like more than others but the same old thing gets boring after a while and I’d rather not see my faves stagnating by doing the same shit over and over again

the thing that really gets me about this fyre festival thing is that they’re not on a deserted island?? like I looked it up on google maps and there is a town like 15 minutes away. so all these rich people are freaking out and panicking when they could just… walk to a nearby town, grab a drink, laugh about how they can afford to lose 12k, think about what a good story this is going to be. but nah rich people are crazy so instead they’re live tweeting the event and setting shit on fire.

anonymous asked:

i once found this girl on tinder that looked exactly like me. apparently she'd been using my selfies to catfish old creepy guys into sending her money on paypal. i confronted her about it and fast forward 4 years i've fallen hard and im gonna ask her to marry me tonight. what if i mess up???? holy shit

I???????????? this sounds deadass so wild like some crazy ass fanfiction?????? good luck my guy you’ve got this let me know how it goes!!!!!!!!

crazyskinnylove:

voguefrance:

spagettinos:

smilebecauseicant:

crotchkat-vantass:

juststrokemyglabella:

2spookysamy:

highonvodka:

themixedbagofspooky:

spoopy-len-in-a-dress:

riningear:

doryishness:

displaced-angel:

ryedragon:

inritum:

reblog and make a wish!


this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

i really hope my wish comes true

my last two wishes came true, one more couldn’t hurt

SO I WISHED FOR AN IMAC THE LAST TIME I DID THIS AND A WEEK LATER MY MOM SURPRISED ME WITH AN IMAC. HONESTLY SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WANTED ONE, I DIDNT TELL ANYONE, IT WAS AN EARLY XMAS PRESENT. Wow this works

This is AMAZING i wished that I would get into South Korea and I did !!!!!!!!

~ Follow me ~: https://skullcomplex.tumblr.com

capismycopilot  asked:

have you ever had to deal with any biphobia at a pride event?

Yeah. Nothing crazy though? but definitely the implication that i didn’t belong there. Side-Eyes, eyerolls, etc. Id rather not go into detail because it’s not important.

What was important was a moment I had with this older Bi man. I was decked out in Bi colors and had a shit ton of Bi colored beads on and he came up to me like “hey friend! can i have some!” we were about to walk the Parade for Pridelines - a really cool organization for LGBT youth - so everyone had signs that said “I have Pride because…” and they would fill it in. His said “I have Pride because I am Bisexual, I’m married, and I have HIV” so I get up and I was like “yeah man ofcourse!”

“thanks! it’s cool to see people being prideful about being Bi. Those colors are sparse this year” and i was like “Yeah, I’m sure there’s more but some of them feel like they can’t.” “Which is bullshit” “Right” “I want to thank you for being decked out. I clearly didn’t dress up in colors like I wanted to” he gestured to his white shirt and shorts and then continued “but I saw you and I suddenly felt ashamed for being so scared. How stupid is that? I’m 60, went through the AIDS epidemic, and scared over wearing Bi colors.” We chuckled a bit and I said “Hey man, that’s part of the reason why I did it. I was nervous too but I knew I’d regret it if I didn’t because other people need to see that not only we exist but that we belong” “Well Thank you for pushing through that and helping other Bis out here who see that and feel validated. You’re doing good things by being dressed up.” And we hugged it out for what seemed like forever.

That moment made my entire pride to the point where I even forgot I encountered petty biphobia here and there until you asked this ask.

KADO: The Right Answer

Okay y’all, I’ve got a new anime recommendation that I can’t stress seriously enough. It comes with mild yet flashy alien invasion, action-packed international negotiations, sci-fi energy sources, a super exhausted flight attendant crew in a hostage situation, and your friendly neighborhood media frenzy! Do you like Steins;Gate? Do you like the weird, inexplicable dating sim vibes? Have you ever wanted to watch the Japanese government shed tears of blood for days on end in a boardroom environment? Can I interest you in an adorable theoretical physicist equipped with an etch-a-sketch

May I now introduce you to:

1. Your new beautiful alien overlord, now with 100% less emoting and an unwavering dedication to linguistic accuracy, who may or may not also be future-Jesus:

With zero joking, I need to inform you that that his name is Yaha-kui zaShunina. Folks, you don’t get higher quality alien visitors than this.

2. A protagonist that a) doesn’t suck and a) possesses the holy trinity of dry wit, a moral compass, and superior communication skills: 

3. KADO the cube*, who, if this was a dating sim, would definitely be the love interest you wanted to date the most:

(*that’s it, it’s just a cube. It’s 2km to each side, it doesn’t get any sexier)

(**those specks in the second pic are batshit crazy media helicopters, see #9 below)

4. The swooning Junior Colleague, if alien overlords aren’t your thing:

5. A flight crew that just doesn’t quit, despite being told they have to work overtime in a multi-dimensional hostage situation for the next 29 fucking days

6. The afore-mentioned etch-a-sketch physicist, who routinely frightens the military officers so bad they call for backup to disagree with her

6. This cutie negotiator, who I’m pretty sure is actually super fucking ambitious beneath that wide-eyed veneer

7. This other cutie that does shit with military-grade weapons, who I hardcore ship with the crazy physicist 

8. High-powered negotiations, which was a genre I never knew I needed until now and includes intense debates about the problems of inaccurate language localizations and translation fuck-ups in high-stress situations

9. And finally, the military and the media circus, now with proper representation and cool behind-the-scenes depictions of what security procedures really look like during crisis situations

SO GIVE KADO: The Right Answer A TRY, Y’ALL, IT LOOKS KICKASS AND I WANT MORE OF IT ON YOUR DASH AND MINE

One last note: KADO uses a consistent amount of CGI. If you have been traumatized by CGI in the past (see: the dark side of new sailor moon) I urge you to watch the first 2-3 episodes of KADO before writing it off. Why? Because:

 1) the plot and story are so cool I kept watching even after being thrown off initially, and 

2) it was actually shockingly easy to get used to the difference in animation 

This was because there’s a hell of a lot of geometric detailing in this anime, and the CGI, believe it or not, does a great job in animating it. Facial expressions and body language are also way more detailed because they’re able to alter pre-existing models. This also means the animation is consistently high-quality.

So try it out! The first three episodes (plus prequel, which I highly recommend) are on Crunchyroll with minimal ads. Don’t skip it, ‘cause it looks like it’s gonna continue to be insanely good!

The Final Proof

*A lot of people have come up with this theory, but it’s so perfect I had to write it down.

They say you learn the most from your mistakes. Mine came as I was watching “Murder Most Foul” and Charming said this:

I hadn’t really been paying enough attention to realize that he was talking about the sleeping curse that the Evil Queen had placed on him and Snow, so my mind immediately went to: What other curse needs to be broken? Luckily for me there is another curse that needs to be broken. Many of you know this, but it’s the curse that is keeping everyone in Storybrooke.

What we don’t realize is which part of the curse is still active. It’s not the dark aspects of the Dark Curse - that was broken by Emma as was prophesied/dictated by Rumpelstiltskin. No, it’s the other part that the pesky imp created that is trapping everyone here still.

The Savior curse. Think about it. The only reason Emma Swan is the Savior is because Rumplestiltskin made it so. In theory, Emma was no longer supposed to be the Savior after she broke the Dark Curse. Everyone was supposed to go back to where they were from, but that didn’t happen. Which means what? That portion of the curse, that tiny little drop, is a curse all in itself, and it too needs to be broken. When it is, Emma’s fate as the Savior will be broken; she will live.

Now you ask: But Emma was given the Shears of Destiny or whatever to cut herself from her fate and no longer be the Savior and she didn’t take it!

Well, we know how Rumple’s curse works right? A pair of pretty scissors wouldn’t break this curse because only one person has that power: Emma herself.

We’ve come full circle. Once upon a time Adam and Eddy pitched the idea that the curse would take seven years to fully break. Now we’ve reached that point. Once Emma breaks the Savior curse, Rumple’s spell that he placed on her life will break. Her Hero’s Journey will be complete, and she will return to her life in the real world, where no one needs her to protect them.

(I’ll come back to this in a minute)

So we know what needs to happen. Here I take it a step further and answer:

How?

It turns out that we have that answer too:


Ah yes. True Love. Here’s where I know I’ll lose half of you because “Once Upon a Time is obsessed with Captain Swan. Why can’t you see that, you’re blinding yourself, stop perpetuating nonsense, wake up blah blah blah blah.”

Well, I’m going to counter that with: Why is Emma still the Savior then? If Once Upon a Captain Swan is genuinely the entire point of this show, why is Emma still fated to die?

Answer: You can’t break a curse where you’re the Savior of the fairytale characters with one of the said fairytale characters.

Here you respond again with: “Well, Smartypants, you call yourself a Swan Queen shipper, but you’ve just contradicted yourself. You think the Evil Queen can break the curse with Emma? She’s a fairytale character too!”

Well, reader, you are very clever indeed. But shall I provide you with my next exhibit:

While it was super fun to watch, Split Queen was not just done for the optics. It was a setup for endgame. The Evil Queen may be a fairytale character, but Mayor Regina Mills (like Emma and Henry) is a completely original creation of our world. Which means, like Emma, the daughter of Prince Charming and Snow White, she can live a completely normal life outside of the Enchanted Forest.

I was trying to figure out the purpose behind bringing Wish Robin Hood back, and this line really explains it:

The writers are priming us for a much bigger version of this concept. Robin is the first test of the portal system. Will it allow someone who isn’t supposed to be “real” stay in the “real world”? We know Storybrooke, by our standards, isn’t a real place, it’s a refuge for fairytale characters from many realms, so it makes sense that he passes the test in this case, but what about Regina? Will she, a person who isn’t supposed to be real, be allowed to live somewhere like Boston or New York if Storybrooke doesn’t exist. This first trial proves that yes, she will be able to because something about her is connected to our world (that thing is literally the writers themselves). They have Regina grapple with this issue- Why was wish Robin able to come here?- because she’s next, and she needs to know that she’ll be okay when she tries to stay in this world.

If Regina remains unconnected to the Evil Queen, she should be able to help Emma break the curse and remain in this reality. Will it really be True Love’s Kiss that frees Emma from the Savior Curse and sends everyone to where they belong?

I would hope.

I also hope that I’ll find $2000 on the street tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean it’ll happen.

But it’s certainly the most reasonable solution since literally every curse is broken with True Love’s Kiss…

Have you ever wondered why there’s never been a True Love’s Kiss with Emma & her parents or Emma with Hook? Perhaps part of that is because True Love’s Kiss can only work with people who are from the same reality. Since Regina had True Love’s Kiss with Henry, that means she’s a part of his reality. Part of her belongs in our world. Emma has never shared True Love’s Kiss with Hook because he isn’t a part of her reality. He’s still a fairytale character. They can get married, she can choose that life, but that means she will remain tied to her fate as the Savior. She will always be connected to the Fairytale world. She will eventually die for them.

But if somehow, Regina Mills is Emma’s true True Love; if two “real people” who were created in this world- Emma Swan the bail bonds person, and Regina Mills the Mayor- shared True Love’s Kiss (not saying they’ll make it gay like they should) then the entire curse could be broken.

I just don’t see any other way they could go with this. The show has always foreshadowed that Storybrooke isn’t supposed to last.

We know there’s going to be a “reset” for the show…


And we know that Regina is no longer connected to the Evil Queen. Everything is setting up for the fairytale characters to return to their world.


But what happens next?

A good story always comes full circle, but the hero returns home with more knowledge and is in a better place. Odysseus goes on a crazy journey with a bunch of messed up shit but eventually makes it back home. Dorothy wishes she could experience life over the rainbow, but when she does, she learns that there’s no place like home. Harry Potter steps onto Platform 9 ¾ for the first time alone, and in the last book he steps on with a family. So if in the Pilot we see Emma in her lonely Boston apartment, wishing on a star to no longer be alone, it only makes sense that the last time we see her, she’s in her Boston apartment but she isn’t alone- she has a family.

We know Henry will be a part of that family, but it’s safe to assume that Regina will be there too, because of this promise:

Unfortunately all magic comes with a price, and my prediction is that price will be that everyone forgets that any of this ever happened.

I’m grounding this theory in the fact that the last time there was a reset, that happened to half of the parties involved: Emma and Henry 

In that scenario, the Dark Curse was destroyed. The Dark Curse’s purpose was to create Storybrooke, so once it was gone, Emma and Henry forgot that Storybrooke ever existed… But everyone in the Enchanted Forest still remembered Emma and Henry because the Savior Curse still existed- they all remembered the Savior. They were able to go back and get her and recreate the bridge between our worlds because Emma was still the Savior. Once the Savior Curse is gone, everything will be wiped out. Everyone will forget that the Savior existed, and why she existed. All the fairytale characters will return to their world where their stories will play out, and all the characters from our world will begin to lead a normal life.

That life for Emma and Regina could very well be together. It’s not guaranteed, but it would certainly explain why the writers have made an effort to keep Emma and Regina apart in Storybrooke while maintaining a certain amount of tension between them- because their story isn’t meant to play out in Storybrooke. It would also explain why it’s not a topic of conversation for any of the writers or actors- it’s a major plot point,  and talking about it would be a spoiler. Lastly, Adam Horowitz said himself that they weren’t queerbaiting:

If they’re planning on having Regina be a part of Emma’s new life free from the Savior curse, then technically this isn’t a lie.

But could they make it so that Emma and Regina’s relationship is merely as platonic co-parents in the real world? Of course. But at the end of the day we would still be right: Swan Queen would still technically be endgame, and it’s still a hell of a lot better than Captain Swan.

ok but consider: cheerleader Neil Josten

HEAR ME OUT I’M GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS I SWEAR

- so we all know neil’s mom said he couldn’t play exy

- you know what the next best thing to playing exy is

- obsessively watching exy and cheering for it

- his mom didn’t really mind (well, he did at first, but neil somehow convinced her it wasn’t terrible) as long as he didn’t get attached to a squad and shit

- boy picked up so much skill from local cheer gyms everywhere

- he trained sO HARD (like half because if he was better they put him closer to the game so he had a better view)

- his tumbling passes were legendary. with his speed he could do the craziest shit like so many back handsprings. a back tuck. crazy twists and everything.

- even though he’s a guy he’s still soooo short

- at one point his coach decided to make him a f l y e r - like this little 5"3 muscular ass boy getting tossed like 20 feet in the air by these peppy girls in short skirts - just imagine

- he kept going until sometime before his mom died, when he realized he might have put a bit too much effort into the sport. people don’t see boy flyers and pass it off, and one of his teams almost made it big. almost- neil’s mom made him mess up their last routine and they left shortly after crippling the squad’s chances at nationals

- neil never really cheered again after his mom died, but he sometimes watched the vixens’ routines, mentally noting their strengths and weaknesses and what they could do with them, but he never said anything because he only knew katelyn and… it’s katelyn

- no one knows about his cheer days. not even andrew. uNTIL

- one day neil is out running and hey look up ahead near the exy stadium it’s the vixens holding practice

- he’s totally just gonna go right by them because exy but then he hears some shouting

- as he gets closer he sees some guys trying to talk to the vixens. from the look of their body language and the girls’ tense stances, it’s not going well

- neil gets closer and hears some very rude and derogatory things being said

- he promptly tells them to fuck off, may have added a threat or two. the guys bail.

- the vixens tell him they had it covered but thanks anyway, and one is like “hey, you wanna have a real practice today?” like totally joking

- neil’s brain is like fuck it

-  “yeah sure can you guys fly me in a basket double twist”

- who are you and what have you done with our starting striker

- neil just basically joins their practice

- katelyn’s reaction was priceless

- not as priceless as andrew’s expression when he sees his boyfriend being thrown into the air by a bunch of cheerleaders on the way to practice

Sober

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: The reader is drunk and she tries to have sex with her best friend Jensen.

Prompt: “Why are you in my bed?!”

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1,757

Requested: @supernaturalgirl85


Jensen tiredly drudges up the stairs in his Malibu home, grumpy as all hell. He just lost $2,000 at a poker game and it’s safe to say that he’s ripshit.

Although he’s not concerned about actually losing the money, being a successful movie director has set his ass up for life.

It’s just the fact that he lost. He’s a competitive fucker, always has been and always will be. It’s in his DNA.

And to add fuel to the fire, his friends refused to give him another chance to win back his money. Claiming it’s too late and they needed to call it a night. It’s only midnight for Christ’s sake. Old bastards.

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Klance Recs #2

A Kiss is a Kiss (But it’s never like this) by GibbousLunation (PG, 25k)
Summary: “How does this keep happening to us, every time.” Lance grumbled.

“You’d think they’d stop sending us on away missions,” he agreed. Honestly, between the poisonous plants of their last planet, and Lance’s tendency to always end up on the business end of every blaster or pointy ended stick, Allura was just being inefficient at this point.

Or, five times Keith kissed Lance but the situation was less than ideal, and one time Lance finally kissed him back. [5+1 Times]

supermassive black hole by epiproctan (NC-17, 7k)
Summary: Keith has always known that he wasn’t going to get what he truly wants out of the arrangement, but he also hadn’t ever imagined that it would just…end.

aka that classic fic where lance wants to stop hooking up but keith wants something else entirely [Friends with Benefits, Mutual Pining]

you never stood a chance by kagshina (PG, 12k)
Summary: lance to hunk ♡
>i’m gonna fukin die hunk oh mygod i sent
>keith a work out selfie that i wan supposed to fcukin send to you and you know what it said
>”BET YOU WANNA LICK THESE NIPS”
>HUNK I WILL NEVE BE ABLE TO FCE HIM AGAIN I WANT TO DI E

(Or, Keith is beautiful, Lance has a crush, and there’s lots of shirtless selfies) [College AU/Snapchat]

Love and Other Questions by squirenonny (PG, 46.6k, WIP)
Summary: One week after news of the Kerberos disaster broke, Pidge receives a new Mark–proof that Matt is still alive. She breaks into the Garrison to find him, only to find herself caught up in the fight for the fate of the universe.

Keith keeps his arms covered so he doesn’t have to watch Shiro’s scars compounding on his skin–but doing so means cutting off contact with his romantic soulmate, who greets him each morning with a new (and terrible) pickup line.

Shiro and Matt thought they were the luckiest people alive when they found out they were going to Kerberos together. But Shiro hasn’t seen Matt’s untidy scrawl on his arm in almost a year, and he has no idea if his soulmate is even still alive.

[Canonverse Soulmate AU with romantic and platonic soulmates (and some gray areas in between)] [Soulmates and Soulmate Marks, WIP]

Save a Horse (But Also Spare the Cowboy) by Mytay (PG, 0.8k)
Summary: “Keith, did you just break out your Texas for me? Did you just make a space cowboy pun for me?”

“No. Also, the fact that bad jokes turn you on explains so much.”
[Space Cowboys]

Seven Minutes by LanceMcLame (PG, 2.2k)
Summary: Pidge never should have mentioned sleepovers to Allura.

That was the only thought in Lance’s mind right now, as he tried to make himself comfortable on the awkward nest of blankets, pillows, and sleeping bags. This was all Pidge’s fault. They’d offhandedly mentioned something about having a sleepover party once with their friends, and Allura had immediately picked up on the idea, insisting that it’d be “an excellent team-building opportunity”. And that was how the five Paladins of Voltron and the two Alteans had ended up building a sort of fort in the bridge of the Castle of Lions, and playing the most heinous game known to mankind.

Truth or Dare. [Team Bonding]

Your Love Has Shown Me Proof by freshia (PG, 22.4k)
Summary: “This situation is a bit more complicated than we initially realized.”

Lance raises an eyebrow, but Pidge is the one to question that. “Define complicated.”

Allura takes no more time beating around the bush, “Well, I received a transmission. Keith and Lance–from the future, that is–would like to have their daughter back.”

or: Lance and Keith deal with a walking spoiler, in the form of a little girl who just wants to get back to her own home. [Time Travel, Kid Fic]

dynamic by kagshina (PG, 13.5k, WIP)
Summary: “So, uh,” Keith starts, and Lance notices the way he shifts, like he’s not quite sure how to say what he wants to say. “How are we gonna…do this?”

Before answering the question, Lance makes a quick list in his head of things he should never do:
Ask the boy he has a huge crush on to be his fake boyfriend for the sake of proving a point (even if Lance thinks he’s going to say no, because apparently he might actually say yes!) [Fake/Pretend Relationship, WIP]

You stole a BABY?! by genericfanatic (PG, 24.3k)
Summary: The castle ship has a new stowaway, and Keith and Lance must figure out how to take care of them without alerting the rest of the crew. [Kid Fic, Accidental Baby Acquisition]

Rushing To Say Nothing by LynnLarsh (NC-17, 36.7k)
Summary: “What the hell was that?” Keith says, sounding strangely pissed. Probably jealous; whatever happened, Lance is a lucky son of a bitch and Keith knows it.

Coran clears his throat before answering, and when Lance finally pulls his eyes away from the crowd, that purplish blush from earlier has increased to a noticeable shade of violet across his cheeks. “It seems our boy Lance here has just been propositioned by the local brothel.”

A.k.a. That time Lance went into an alien brothel to prove a point and came out perhaps a little too enlightened.

The Little Things by fairietailed (G, 1.6k)
Summary: On Friday Hunk can hear the two of them behind him as they walk to the control room, and he swears he hears something akin to a kiss, and Keith whispering.

“That’s 10-7, Cargo Pilot. Try catching up.”

When Hunk turns around Lance is bright red, and there’s a foot of space between him and Keith.Or maybe he’s imagining things? [Secret Relationship]

Marital Mayhem by genello (PG, 26k, WIP)
Summary: Cornered by the Galra, Lance and Keith find shelter in a local temple. There’s just one problem—the natives seem to think the two of them are engaged. [Fake/Pretend Relationship, WIP]

Burning Love by TeaAndKittens (NC-17, 7k, WIP)
Summary: An injury sustained on the job for firefighter Keith means an extended medical leave that makes him feel useless and angry. He’s so desperate to get back to his crew at Station 5 that he’s almost willing to try anything - except yoga. Especially after Hunk calls this friend of his that owns a yoga studio and Keith gets supporting evidence for his claim that only crazy people practice yoga.

Somehow, despite all of that, Hunk and Shiro manage to bully him into at least trying it. He shows up for that first class expecting to hate it. What he’s not expecting is for Hunk’s friend to be hot like the fire of a thousand suns. Or even more insane in person.

Or: Keith’s life. So Hard. [Firefighter/Yoga Instructor AU, WIP]

if you’re ready by rhapsodyinpink (PG so far, 2k, WIP)
Summary: “Why was I wearing a wedding veil?” Lance asks, eyes narrowing in confusion.

“Oh wait..wait, shit! Shit! Did I marry a hot babe last night? Talk about a wild birthday!” Lance crows, waving his arms with glee.

“No,” says Keith. “You married me.”

In which the paladins visit Las Vegas for Lance’s 21st birthday, Keith and Lance get married, Allura goes missing, Pidge gets arrested, and Shiro goes to the spa. [Accidentally Married in Vegas - still in universe not au! WIP]

Dancing for Voltron and Follow My Lead by The_Sickfic_Sideblog (PG, 2k total)
Summary: Lance has a hidden talent. It’s not hidden for long. [Dance Skills Lance]

Seven Days by MilkTeaMiku (NR, 63.5k, Series)
Summary: The Galra has a new weapon that de-ages the Paladins into babies for a week. [De-aged/Kid Fic]

Thank God For Hometowns by merycula (thanksillpass) (PG, 6.5k)
Summary: Lance tells his grandparents that he has a boyfriend to get them off his back, and is forced to ask his neighbor Keith to pretend to date him when they come with a visit. [Fake Dating]

seeing him for the first time (again) by breadpoetsociety (G, 1.5k)
Summary: “Who are you?” Keith demanded, excitedly putting his free hand to his cheek. “What’s your name?”

“Eat the cracker, Keith.”

“Did god send you? Are you an angel?” Keith didn’t look very frightened as this concept of being dead worked its way out of him. Lance ran a hand through his own hair, smiling wryly.

“Please, eat the cracker, Keith.”

“What’s your name?” Keith’s voice cracked, desperately, excitedly. “Please. Who are you?”

“My name is Lance,” Lance paused, nerves sitting uncomfortably in the bottom of his stomach– deep, in the part he never searched. He licked his lips and ran a hand through his unwashed hair. “I’m, um, I’m your fiancé.” [Amnesia]

On Thin Ice 
by Minadora (R, 150k, WIP)
Summary: This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater. [Ice Hockey/Figure Skater AU]

It's two am the sorcerer is tired ok shhh

Dm: the cave is dank and dark
Sorcerer: * proceeds to dab*
Dm: *follows in suit*

Hunter: what the he co you can’t just dab with god!!!!!

Sorcerer: I can and I just did. Your just not close enough for him th be this …dank …with you

Theif: he is literally my boyfriend

Dm: light shines brightly on the trap just before the sorcerer steps on it because of reasons of pleasing the deities
Theif: I hate you dm.

anonymous asked:

Gabriel might be canonically alive, now. In the AU at least.

ALRIGHT

HA

I THINK

IN THE CURRENT SPN UNIVERSE

GABE IS JUST FINE. and this season’s finale put the final nail in the coffin for me

i was going to do a comic about it, but it could be too much to shove into a comic anyway. SO–in regards to this:

he was literally drilling into their heads “GUESS. WHAT. CAN. KILL. ME. THAT. I. TOTALLY. HAVE.”

i don’t think gabriel brought an actual “archangel blade” at all. we find out in hammer of the gods that there’s a specific blade that looks like an angel blade that can kill an archangel, and it was confirmed in s12′s finale that a regular angel blade doesn’t do much to an archangel. so whatever luci stabbed him with, wasn’t actually something that could hurt gabe

if you think gabriel can literally warp reality but couldn’t recreate an angel death, i need you to sit down and reread that

NOT ONLY THAT

but we also learned that lucifer apparently thinks, even without incredible showmanship, “if i stab it, it’s dead.” crowley, a DEMON, just a demon, was able to slip out of his body into a rat, with lucifer none the wiser. this wasn’t premeditated on crowley’s part. i firmly believe gabriel went in with a plan for the worst

so when sam and dean watched the porn gabe gave them:

i FIRMLY believe this was actually gabriel that they were watching. he was alive. right there. and he just wanted an easy out of the drama. he never had the plan to be caught, he just got heated in changing channels and realized he was going to back himself into a corner if he stayed in the game. which is ALSO why i think this stunt was pulled in meta fiction:

this is genuinely just something he can do. and metatron had, more or less, the power of god. he probably suspected the same thing i did when he read chuck’s work. so metatron literally made gabriel pitch to cas what gabe was afraid would happen to him. he didn’t want to lead armies or head rallies. he wanted to spend the rest of eternity fucking with humans

ALSO. FROM THE FINALE. dean says to luci something along the lines of, “…so you’re just going to go around smashing all of his toys?” which,

and at the beginning of the season, cas crashes into the Mystery Spot sign.

so while he is alive in other universes, sure, i think he’s still just fine in this one. if anything, he’s the one archangel that chuck actually respected, just by leaving him alone. but with the new devil baby i think something might snap

viruskit said:

I have no idea if this was already theorized but do you think the Scooby Doo episode will happen cause Gabriel came back to fuck shit up? Cause high and low key I’m hoping that happens

with rich being on set so much, it wouldn’t surprise me if this was the case! if this is what happens, they’ll think Oh They’re None The Wiser because of all of rich’s directing spots, both now and in the future. otherwise, it might just be a weird fever dream MOTW ep. FINGERS CROSSED, THO

mass effect dad headcanons
  • Kaidan: cheers you on at every soccer game even though you’re horrible at it “You got this, champ!” loves to barbecue and can always tell when something’s wrong “You okay, bud?” Still wears the #1 dad t-shirt you made for him when you were little.
  • Garrus: Comes off as relaxed and let’s you go to that shady party but when you get back you have (84) missed calls from Dad and he’s pacing in the living room. Doesn’t know how to cook so just orders takeout. “Well, you’re still alive so I guess I did pretty well”
  • Mordin: “Breakfast is most important meal. Triggers metabolism and gives energy!” Only showed you educational kids shows and builds your model volcano for you. Sings in the car even though ugh dad you’re embarrassing me.
  • Anderson: “I’m not your friend, I’m your father” but actually adores you more than anything in the galaxy. Took the day off work then stayed up with you all night when you got food poisoning. The day he tells you he’s proud of you is the best you’ve ever felt in your life.
  • Wrex: let's you take a sip of ryncol and laughs when you start gagging. Says "Whatever" and uses guilt as his primary tactic. Always gives you piggy back rides and weirdly specific life advice.
  • Joker: Dad jokes. Too many dad jokes. Let you watch a horror movie that gave you nightmares for weeks. "If I can do it, you can." Made sure you aced your driving exam and took you out for ice cream after.
  • Zaeed: Tries to watch his language but it usually ends up sounding like "Well sh... shucks" All your friends think he's really cool but he always asks things like "what in the shitting hell is a me-me"
  • Thane: Crazy dance!! Always knows what to say when you're upset. Remembers the small things like what toppings you like on yogurt and makes sure your favorite shirt is always clean. "I want you to be happy in life."
Something Just Like This

Summary: AU. This is the story of an ordinary couple with an extraordinary love.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,652 (without lyrics)

Warnings: language, fluff, sarcasm, pregnancy, mentions of bullying, illness, and death, song fic style

A/N: This is my oneshot submission for the poetic noble land mermaid @whothehellisbella and her Bella’s Cool Time Summer Jamz Mix Writing Challenge. My song prompt was Something Just Like This - The Chainsmokers, Coldplay. I hope you approve and enjoy!

Originally posted by duckybarness

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