Did my makeup yesterday and i was hella hot.
I did a winter inspired eye look with frosty white, silver, and blue. I did a valentines day sweetheart lip (thanks to my natural cupids bow and some slight accentuating). And I did dark silver brows and light silver highlights 😊
I have been feeling p feminine lately which is nice cause i was p masc for a while
The night comes in after a gray day. The cool fog refracts streetlights; I dash out, always late. My boots clack too loud in the silence of the fog’s influence
I drag myself to a party, reluctantly. Some old friends have swarmed into town. What would they know of me now? Already I’m tired of the coming conversation, what am I doing, where am I living…. I have my excuses lined up, ingenious, unquestionable ones.
But I wasn’t expecting you
I rushed into the hall, the sounds of laughter and conversations filling up all the air.
I was choking on their false happiness before I’d even entered the room. My excuses sit on my tacky, too-made-up lips, my “what a pity I have to leave” face prepped, on hold. My brain has already bolted back into the cool of the fog.
Your eyes, clear as the ocean in Maui, see through me and drag me across our past. My brain yanked out of my escape, tied to our ending that made me run away to this town. I moved on; I found a place for me like a checker on a checkerboard, just one indistinct life among many in a city that can more than absorb heartache and failure.
I’ve been staring at you, and a smile spreads across your face down your body to your legs that move to me, frozen in that time when we were everything and nothing else mattered at all.
The band in this room loops around on a tune, waiting for you to take the stage. These women invited you to sing, so they could swoon and fan themselves with fantasies that you’d be theirs.
They were our old friends, and I couldn’t keep them. They slathered me in their pity at our breakup, gloating in their jealousy. It threatened to consume me.
You’re still coming; the band gestures to you. The women I didn’t need to see, smile out their hatred of what we had once. I can’t swallow; I can’t move. Your eyes, hypnotic, are fixed on me. My heart pressed down by the ease of your walk, casual in your rocker style, a part of who you are. Every step is like a dance that’s too cool to be choreographed, and I gulp down the scars on my heart.
I’m desperate to breathe, and the music loops insanely, and I want to back away. I’ve moved on! I have! I don’t want this anymore. My hand throbs from the lack of pressure of yours.
Your fingers reach out, lightly touch my hand that must have been stupidly extended out, a handshake? Oh, I don’t even know what you think I wanted, but I’m afraid it all shows in my eyes that haven’t left yours. You don’t ask me how I’m doing. You don’t ask me how I live today. You just smile a smile that fills your head, even your blue-tinted rocker spiked hair shines with the smile in your eyes. When is it too late for new beginnings because I’m ready to abandon all I have, take your hand and run so fast we reverse time. All I want has been compressed to standing like this, fingers touching forever.
Mark knew what my intentions were up to. He began to move his lips in sync with mine. His hands gripped my waist tighter, pulling me towards him so our bodies collided with one another. My hands made their way up to his hair, tugging it slightly as we made out in the middle of the park. His teeth slightly biting my bottom lip earning a moan coming out of my mouth. Then reality hit me hard.
Oh my god.
I slightly pushed away from the kiss, breaking the rush of acceleration. Looking up at Mark, he had a sly smirk plastered on his face as he looked at me with his dreamy eyes. I smiled slighting, taking a few strands of my hair and covered my face. This was so embarrassing. I would never kiss anyone out of the blue even when I’ve only known that person for a day.
“I’m sorry.” I quickly apologized, covering my face with a chuck load of my hair.
“You’re so cute, (Y/N).” Mark chuckled as he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer. “That was good. Let’s do it again.”
“W-what?” I stuttered, as I furiously tried to fix my hair in order to get a good sight of him.
“Well, you know where I live. I’m always free to chill sometime.” Mark smiled as he winked at me. I stared at the boy with disbelief. Was he inviting me over so we could Netflix and chill? The way he made it sound was like a thing a fuckboy would say. But at the same time, I thought about what his intentions might be. Maybe he just wanted to hang out. Like a date?
“U-uh.” I mumbled, unable to talk because I was still flustered about the kiss. I need to get out of this situation. I came out here to sort out my feelings and Mark Tuan decided to show up out of the blue, messing with my mind. And I even kissed him.
“I need to go.” I quickly mumbled before I scurried off in the opposite direction. What am I doing? Why was I pushing Mark away when I was the one who wanted him in the first place? This was all so confusing to me. I kissed Mark, obviously wanting him to be closer, and now I’m avoiding him. What kind of twisted feeling is this?
I quickly ran back to dorm and plopped onto my bed. Alex gave me a weird look as I entered but didn’t say a word. She knew I didn’t want to talk and her instincts were right. I laid back in bed as I stared at the grey ceiling. Screw the test tomorrow, I just needed rest.
Just sleep (Y/N), I thought to myself. Just sleep and tomorrow will be a better day.
The next morning, I shot out of bed and found myself running to business class. Once again, I was almost late for class but still made it on time. The day was long and brutal as I started to count down the minutes to when the day will be over. My mind couldn’t help but think of the kiss Mark and I shared. I have to admit, he’s a good kisser. But damn, why did I make the mistake of pushing him away?
It was around late afternoon where I found myself at a coffee shop near campus. I had my laptop out as I worked on the business project that was suppose to be a group work but I ended up doing all of it. I was so focused on my work that I didn’t even notice someone pulled up a chair in front of me, until that voice interrupted me.
“A nerd since kindergarden and still a nerd now.”
I looked up to come face to face with Jaebum. He was wearing a snapback that matched with a perfect outfit he was wearing. He looked like a hottie that girls would hook up if he moved in as a next door neighbor. In other words, he looked good as always.
“If you’re here to bother me, at least buy me a cup of coffee.” I said as I looked back at my computer screen. Jaebum hated spending money, so this would surely get rid of him.
“Deal!” He said quite cheerfully as he shot out of his chair and walked over to the counter. I leaned my head back, sighing quite loudly. Now I have to deal with him and his bullshit. What a day. After what seemed like ten minutes, I got myself a coffee cup and an idiot in front of me.
“I was debating if I should get myself a drink too but, I only had enough for one cup. And that is for the special girl sitting in front of me.” Jaebum smiled, as he tried to get my attention by attempted to shut down my laptop.
“What do you want, Jae?” I sighed, finally looking up at him.
“Answers.” He smirked, leaning back on his chair. I rolled my eyes and closed my laptop. If Jaebum wanted answers, I might as well give it to him so he can leave. I nodded at him, signalling him to ask away as I drank the cup of coffee he bought for me.
Jaebum leaned forward, resting his face on his hands. “Are you single?”
“Yes.” I simply replied.
“Then who was that guy that came and took you away from me?” He asked.
“None of your business.” I stated, taking another sip of my coffee.
“Okay, if he isn’t your boyfriend, why are you fucking around with him?” Jaebum asked, with a tone that sounded quite angry but he wasn’t mad.
I looked at him in disbelief, almost spitting out coffee that sat in my mouth. “Is this twenty one questions?”
“No, I’m just curious.” Jaebum stated, smiling innocently at me.
“None of your business.” I fired back at him.
“I see the way you look at him, (Y/N).” Jaebum said as he lifted up his cap to brush back his brown hair. “You like him but, he obviously doesn’t like you back. So why try when he won’t even acknowledge you?”
“It’s none of your business, Jaebum.” I said, with a slight anger in my tone.
“Well it’s my business if the girl I like is living a miserable life.” Jaebum fired back and quite loudly too.
I stared at the boy who sat in front of me. The boy who was my childhood friend. The boy who pledge my mother and father, when we were young, that he would protect me from any harm. The boy who turned me down in front of the whole high school, was rude, arrogant and selfish. And here he is, claiming that he liked me.
“Why can’t you look at me the way you look at him? What’s his name? Oh, Mark Tuan. He gives you that look that he gives to every girl. He treats you like he would to any girl. And you look at him like he’s the love of your life. Why can’t you do the same to me?” Jaebum stated, slightly getting angry.
“You’re no different, Jae. You play with every girl you meet. You turned me down in high school, humiliated me, made me the top loser and left me alone. Why should I give you a chance?” I explained with a tone that hinted I was mad.
“Because I’m the one who can treat you better than him.” Jaebum simply stated, his voice lowering a bit.
“You are full of lies, Jaebum. You had your chance three years ago and now it’s all gone because of your pride.” I yelled, quite loudly too. But I didn’t care. This boy needed to know what I’ve been through all these years.
“Well fuck the past. Give me a chance, (Y/N). That’s all I as-”
“God, man. Why can’t you leave this girl alone?” A voice interrupted from behind. Flinching at the sudden interruption, I turned around and looked up at Mark. Why was he here at times like this? Why can’t these two men just leave me alone?
“Look, I’m in the middle of something. Could you please just go?” Jaebum asked, his anger rising at a dangerously high rate.
“I’m not leaving until you do.” Mark stated firmly. I widen my eyes at Mark, giving him the look to back off. I did not want to create a scene at a place where I drink coffee regularly. But the thing was, why was Mark defending me even if Jaebum didn’t do anything wrong? And I somehow ended up in between this mess.
“Are you threatening me?” Jaebum raised his voice, clearly getting ready to fight. I suddenly grabbed Jaebum’s hand that was laying on the table, signalling him to calm down. If he liked me, I knew I was the only person that could keep Jaebum in line. Or at least tried to.
“Well if you think of it that way, yes.” Mark shrugged his shoulders.
Suddenly, Jaebum ripped his hands out of mine and stood up so quickly that I flinched and covered my face. My heart was increasing its speed and it wasn’t a good thing. I was scared for both men and me.
“Look man, I don’t want to cause any trouble but you have two choices. Leave now or I will cause trouble.” Jaebum warned.
“Cause trouble or not, I’m just here to protect my girl.” I heard Mark say, in a calming matter. With my eyes closed and behind my hands, I suddenly heard quick footsteps moving from behind and in front of me.
As I removed my hand, I opened my eyes to see a sight I wish I didn’t see. Jaebum held Mark by the collar of his shirt as he raised a fist in the air. It was like a scene from a movie where everything froze and I was the one can move. At that very moment, I thought to myself that I needed to do something. I couldn’t just sit here and watch this horror.
As the world began to move, I found myself running towards the two men, pushing Mark to the side as I felt pain hit the right side of my face. Soon enough, my body reacted like any normal human being would react to intense pain.
I blacked out.
This was like the fastest update I’ve ever done. Hey y’all, how ya doin? Great huh? Hopefully! I just wanted to say thank you for giving frat boy Mark Tuan so much love. I honestly didn’t think people would read my writing. And 150 followers already?!?! Thank yoouuu ~~~~~
Have a wonderful day everyone. Take care! I’ll try to update asap but for now, enjoy the cliffhanger.