whats on at the olympics

to contribute to the ‘humans are weird’ posts...

Okay, but what about marathons tho. Humans are built to follow animals on foot. Until the animal literally gives up and dies. That’s how we hunt. We’re not super fast or claw-y or bite-y. we just keep running. Forever

Imagine aliens finding out about marathons. Aliens who are stealth predators or evolved from sedentary species learning that humans just straight up run their prey to death. 

Alien Wimu: Human Nik, I have been watching this hologram for several ngu’la. What are these humans doing?
Human Nik: Oh, wow, that’s the Olympics! It’s a competition where humans see who is the best at various physical tasks. This is the marathon, I think? 
Alien Wiro: We have tests of physical prowess on Mngumu as well. But I have been watching for several ngu’la and these humans have been running the entire time. I am concerned. Are they well? Has something gone wrong with the event? Is something chasing them? 
Human Nik: Nope, that’s the event! It’s actually really cool. A long time ago, this human ran – a bunch of kilometers? Something like 40, I think – because he was carrying a message to a place called Marathon from … someplace in Greece because of a war or something. He died I think. Anyway, now a lot of people do it! I actually ran a half-marathon for charity once. It was pretty grueling but it felt really good.
Alien Wiro: …I’m sorry, but I believe you said 40 kilometers. That is equivalent to roughly 349 shmo! 
Human Nik: Yeah, that sounds about right. 
Alien Wiro: And you said the original person died?
Human Nik: Well, I think. But like I said we train for it now. It’s not so bad, really. 
Alien Wiro: … 
Human Nik: Anyway, thanks for showing me! It’s really easy to lose track of time up here, wow. Had no idea the Olympics were happening. 
Alien Wiro:

@space-australians

@panlight so i’ve had this joke in mind for a while but it’s probably not as funny as 2am me thinks

what if “the olympic coven” was actually this vampire ‘in’ joke. that maybe emmett started. where they’re not commonly known as the “olympic coven” but rather whatever place they’re staying at. and every time visitors came over emmett would say something and confuse them cus they’re like “but i thought you were the toronto coven???!”. and it spread to the volturi and now aro plays along with it too.
and it’d be like…

aro: so, what’s the news on our dear carlisle
demetri: he’s recently moved to vermont
aro: ah, how quaint. i do miss him and his dear vermont coven

I’ve been away all weekend so missed watching the British champs. I’ve attempted to catch up and I’ve been left slightly underwhelmed (I guess it is post-Olympic year). Can anyone tell me what good things can be noted to come out from these championships? Who performed well? And there any first year seniors who look like they will be ones to watch?

winged sentence starters
  1. “Can you stop shedding feathers in the shower? Or at least clean them up afterwards?”
  2. “Sorry about my cat. she/he really, really likes feathery things.”
  3. “Hold on, your feathers are looking a bit disheveled. Want me to straighten them out for you?”
  4. “Can you actually… use those things?”
  5. “Oh my god. You have wings.”
  6. “How is this even possible?”
  7. “Hey, what’s up with your back? You look like a professional olympic swimmer on steroids.”
  8. “You flew for six hours? Come here, you’re getting a back rub.” 
  9. “Did someone try and pluck a feather again? Are they dead?”
  10. “What on earth happened to you? Have your wings been trimmed? Wh- are you ok?!”
  11. “…Where are your wings? What happened to you?”
  12. “So, like… do you just cut holes in your clothes and stuff?”
  13. “Underwear must be confusing.”
  14. “Look. I know you want to cuddle, but ten seconds after you fall asleep you roll away and I get a mouthful of feathers. Clean your primaries or stay still!”

lgbt ppl: if i come out, i’ll be beaten/harassed/threatened/disowned/forced into conversion therapy/ostracized/thrown out of my house

cishet aro/aces: okay…,,if i come out, people will tell me “oh you just haven’t met the right person yet!” so im oppressed, too :/

lgbt ppl: how…….how is that anything like what we go through

cishet aro/aces: how are they different?

Hey just a reminder that Haikyuu!! isn’t queerbaiting for the simple reason that Furudate didn’t plan on making it look gay to get more readers.

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2020 Olympics

So the next Olympics is going to be held in Tokyo right?

I know it’s a bit farfetched since it’s 4 years from now but WHAT IF JAPAN DOES A HOMAGE TO ALL THEIR FAMOUS SPORTS ANIME DONE BY ACTUAL ATHLETES WITH COSPLAY AND EVERYTHING.

LIKE IT’S THE BOYS FROM KUROKO NO BASKET VS THE BOYS FROM SLAM DUNK.

SWIMMERS REPLICATING ACTUAL SWIMMING SEQUENCES FROM FREE!

VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS DOING THOSE SCENES FROM HAIKYUU

YUZURU HANYU BEING YURI KATSUKI FROM YURI ON ICE

EDIT: I meant the opening to the 2020 Olympics whoops sorry
3

magificent 7 // fierce 5 // final 5

     atlanta 1996 // london 2012 // rio 2016 

         olympic team gold

Headcanon

At some point of his life, Kageyama became the best setter of Japan and then one of the youngest and greatest of the world. He’s like 22years old and after an Olympic match, with a gold medal on his chest, an interviewer from the NHK just stops and asks him some questions.

Interviewer: Kageyama-San what can you say about this Olympic? It’s your second time in this court.
Kageyama: Yeah, it was knif.. nice.
Interviewer: What about you? We know that Oikawa-San was your senpai, did he taught you something?
Kageyama: I learned everything I know from a magnificient senpai called Sugawara. *drops the mic and leaves*
Interviewer: …
Team: …
Sugawara: *at home, on the couch, passes out*
Daichi: I can’t believe he really… *holds Suga*
Oikawa: YOU LITTLE SON OF A BITCH!
Iwaizumi: Chill, you never really taught him how to improve himself.
Oikawa: THAT’S NOT FUCKING TRUE!
Iwaizumi: Babe, shut up. The cameraman is recording you.
NHK’s Cameraman: …

8

I kneel down, put the ball in front of me. And as I look up and back away, I see that Hopey is fiddling with her gloves. What went through your mind? I thought, “Now you’re doing that again…” Because she did it in 2011 as well. And then I started laughing a little because it was a little hilarious. But it’s almost even funnier to take a PK against her when she does that.

Lisa Dahlkvist on her penalty kicks against Hope Solo at the 2011 Women’s World Cup and the 2016 Summer Olympics – both of which included glove troubles for Solo.

Another! Olympic! AU!

This idea assaulted me at midnight last night and then it was 3k and I don’t know what happened. Whatever.

  • Eric is just old enough to compete in the 2010 olympics for figure skating as a fifteen year old.
  • Seriously. He makes the deadline by like a month. (if I did that math right. I might not have. Anyway! Pretend!)
  • By this point in his life, he’s already gotten his fair share of bullying due to his figure skating
  • He thought about quitting before he skated the competition that qualified him for the olympics. A little bit because of the bullying. But also a little bit because of what it takes away from him. He’s tired all the time because he’s trying to balance school and this. And he’s always worried about messing up his next routine.
  • And prom was last weekend and now his best friend is mad at him for missing it because she had to go alone.
  • But then he qualified for the olympics and knew that he couldn’t give it up now
  • And once you qualify for the olympics, people stop bothering you about that kind of stuff anyway.
  • That being said, none of it counts for shit unless you actually do well in the Olympics, so Eric spends the weeks leading up to the games training like hell to make sure that his routine is good enough to medal
  • Even if that means that he’ll miss out on an hour of sleep just to go over it a few more times
  • Even if it means that he’ll miss a meal to get extra time on the ice
  • Even if it means that it feels like his brain is trying to run itself ragged by going over routines again and again and again.
  • Meanwhile–

Keep reading

I’m tired of these commentators throwing little digs at Monica Puig & saying that she should’ve represented USA in the Olympics. Monica Puig was born in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Yes it’s a commonwealth territory, but she’ll be the first Puerto Rican woman in history to compete for an individual gold medal. The achievements of Puerto Ricans do not automatically belong to the United States just because of politics & government 😒😒😒