so monday i was late, tuesday i was jsut stright up mad and today im sick. I even went to bed last ngiht early… i dont get what going on but my only cule would have to be my depression. AND all i have to say is this needs to stop before it gets worse. As of now im sitting in class and we are talking about kids toys, like plush and crap. I just dont want to be here today. It seems as though it is just a waist of my time but the more school ui miss the less chance i have of passing and since im already grading aat 19 i really dont wanna make it 20. YA KNOW ? well anyways this is jsut redick. now that im sitting here i have some people look over my sholder that dont need to be in my shit so im getting off just for the fact of them. FUCK THIS WEEK.
I always go back to the same people. I think i have a pretty good understand why but i sure as hell i didnt. I miss dating new people.
Sometimes i think its cause i dont like taking a risk but then i realize i take a lot of ricks in my life. then i think it maybe because i feel relaxed with the person but then it dawns on me that its defiantly not that due to the fact i change my self for each person. My main way to think of why i do it is because its something stabel, there has never been a time where i couldnt turn around and the guy/guys are will to let what ever happened between us go. ( kinda not a good thing on there part). the guys i go back to for coverage are scum bags, they treat me like shit they yell curse cheat and all that great shit, but i always come up with an excuse for them like “Oh he had a bad day he didnt mena it” or “ he wont do it again, theres always room for change right ?” i ask myself. but none of this ever changes.
Today i kinda realized that if you sit back and dont take stand NOTHING will ever change for you. You create change change doesnt create you .
when i said i GUYS i didnt mean like 10 i meant like 2