whatever the point is for the humor

At this point after having this image featured in an extremely boring unfunny overexplanatory “tumblr meme archive” article on the washington post i just want to make it clear to everybody that i honest to jesus made this image myself its fake and youve all successfully killed all the humor in it by putting it on fandom whatever a million times in which the “happy stock image of donkey” funny context is lost anyway folks great job sucking every droplet of marrow out of yet another young image that could have been funny in its simple self for years to come dont overuse and dissect memes let them live on in dignity

i can’t believe i have to make this post in the year 2017 but any jokes made towards people of color at the expense of facial features not adhering to eurocentric ideas of beauty is racist. people of color literally spend most of their lives hating themselves for having facial features that dont match up with “small button nose, thin lips and thin eyebrows” and then whatever confidence in these features they may later obtain can be swept away in an instant by one “joke”. idc if the people making the jokes arent even white, if you’re maliciously pointing out someone’s big nose/thick eyebrows/big lips etc and making them the butt of a joke you arent funny and you arent clever. and if you really think these “jokes” are funny then you desperately need to reevaluate your sense of humor. like just sit there and explain to me what’s so funny about poking fun at any of these facial features without making an ass of yourself. i’ll wait

INFERIOR FUNCTIONS APPRECIATION

I’ve seen too many posts about how inferior the inferior functions are! They’re usually measured against higher positions in the functional stack, and, while this doesn’t necessarily lead to inaccurate assessments (and they may be quite worth it to make), I would like to look at them through another perspective - because, sometimes, less is more.

So here’s what I appreciate about all the inferior functions when they are acting in healthy integration and moderation.

Inferior Se in INJs.
I can be in silence with you and enjoy it. I can take pleasure in the smaller things, such as a delicious meal or a pleasant scenery. I don’t have to worry about how I look like most of the time or even if I have much material success - because even when these things matter to you, they’re not your top priority. I know you won’t force me into rushed and overwhelming situations if you can help it and will have more patience than you’re normally given credit for. When you do engage the physical world as fully as you can, it is imbued with rich symbolism and meaning, unlocking and revealing universal truths in the simplest of things.

Inferior Si in ENPs.
You take bits from here and there and elevate them into wonderful and fascinating webs of information. As long as you can tell reality from fiction, I can greatly enjoy your fabrications and even your comical and dramatic exaggerations. You’re hard to pin down and keep a hold of, but you can also be incredibly sentimental and treasure significant moments with others for many years to come. Doing things the way they’ve been done isn’t your thing, and this can get you in trouble, but it can also give way to memorable adventures. Your life is, figuratively or literally speaking, a collection of souvenirs from all over the globe.

Inferior Ne in ISJs.
I love your brand of theorization and creativity - it’s well-founded and substantiated. You know better than to jump at every possibility and would rather evaluate more thoroughly. You’re not as close-minded as you seem. Often, you’re just more concerned with the implications and ramifications of choices than others are or can be. You have talent to read between the lines, but you’d rather not assume and jump to conclusions so you prefer to have things made clear instead. Your sense of humor is delightful and usually of good taste (although you would also mock both deserving and undeserving targets every now and then).

Inferior Ni in ESPs.
You realize that there’s more than meets the eye but don’t get caught up in that. Spirituality (or whatever you would call it) is important to you in a down-to-earth manner - you try to live it and unfold your answers as you go. There’s no point in worrying too much about the future when, obviously, it’s the present that manifests it. And in any case, what you envision is adaptable and can generally roll with what comes your way. You don’t need to have a purpose or end goal for everything you do, and as a result, life doesn’t pass you by and you grow with every new experience.

Inferior Te in IFPs.
You’re not in the business of telling people what to do, except sometimes. And even then, you’re more endearing than bossy. You make sense of the world with incredible depth and are easily both inspiring and motivating because of it. You have a way with words that is smooth and swift (or, at times, fiery). You can be feisty and stand your ground when necessary. And while many wouldn’t take you very seriously, you are quite capable of making valid points on issues you’re well-informed in that contradict what the majority thinks. You’re smarter than you appear, which is eventually a slap on the face to those that underestimated you.

Inferior Ti in EFJs.
Your half-baked hypotheses are doorways to exploration. There are many subjects I wouldn’t have considered if it wasn’t for your willingness to examine them despite how crazy-sounding they were. There’s a bit of truth in everything and we can learn from everyone. Maybe you make quick judgments about people and this can be off-putting, but there are often reasons for them even when the rest of us don’t see them. You know what makes people tick better than most - so let us hope you’re on our side and use this for good.

Inferior Fe in ITPs.
You know what it’s like to be awkward and not fit in, so you don’t hold others to unreasonable social standards. It’s okay to be off-beat and weird with you and you welcome it unless it is indeed unjustifiably harmful. You know how to comfort others with the truth and by distracting them with something more interesting. You would do a lot of kind and loving things for those you care about even when it takes a huge amount of effort on your part. Being adorkable is part of your charm and I can’t hate you for it unless you abuse it.

Inferior Fi in ETJs.
You may not be the most morally correct in the room, but you try to do what’s right. And to you, that often means cutting the bullshit, being practical and tackling problems as they arise to ease the load on others and lead them into a more fulfilling state. You’re rarely self-righteous or shocked and indignant at others’ sins (unless they’re beyond gross and absurd), as chances are we’re all rotten in one way or another to some extent. This makes you more accepting of others, which, seemingly paradoxically, allows them to come to terms with themselves and break out of bad habits to make better decisions next time.

Hey so April’s coming up so I thought it’d be good to have some activities to do! I’ve seen other people do these (most notably for me @uniqueaspergirl​ had one that I did a few of last year!) and thought I’d set one up!

Under the cut is a list of the days (also listed in the picture) and descriptions of what each one is because a few words aren’t always the easiest to understand even when you wrote them.

I would like to say first though that - despite me keeping the descriptions of each day mostly positive, negative submissions and additions are absolutely accepted. Everything isn’t sunshine and daisies. Most of the things are general enough that they’ll apply to anyone, but if one doesn’t work for you feel free to treat it as a freebie!

Submit by submitting to the blog directly, tagging us ( in the @ kind of a way) or by tagging it #walkinredinstead (which I checked, it’s empty) and I’ll post and reblog as many as I can!

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I think possibly the most twisted side of Hannibal and Will’s relationship, but also the one that shows the most how they’re made for each other and pretty much no one else, is how they get each other’s sense of humor, in whatever form it comes. Hannibal sees Will’s bitter misanthropic sarcasm and is endeared by it, instead of kept at a distance by it like everybody else; Will should really not find Hannibal’s irony funny since it mostly involves murdering and eating people, stabbing, or making victims into art, but he tragically does. To the point that it gets him to smile, laugh, turn a dead man into a firefly, or watch an asshole eat his own face.

  • Gideon: Emma! I am going to kill you
  • Emma: yeah whatever, I'm going canoeing
  • Gideon:
  • Emma: what?
  • Emma: you think you're the first?
  • Gideon:
  • Emma: look my mother is Snow White and my boyfriend is Captain Hook
  • Emma: at this point we get nervous if a week goes by without at least one of our lives being threatened
  • Emma: now where are those life jackets
  • Emma: gotta be safe
Devil-may-care

Happy birthday @snogfairy <3<3<3 Have a lovely rest of your day!


Lucy wakes up confused and warm, her head aching with what she already knows is a nasty hangover. Groaning, she rolls over, nearly falling off the couch. She catches herself at the last second, swearing under her breath before sitting up. She sniffs, squinting at the harsh light of the morning sun, and frowns when she hears something sizzling. Curious, Lucy wonders is Cana stayed the night, considering she always ends up on the couch when that happens. Lucy stands on wobbly legs, making her way to the kitchen slowly, grumbling to herself about never drinking again.

It’s not Cana in the kitchen.

Lucy freezes at the threshold, blinking rapidly when she notices a man standing in front of her stove. His back is to Lucy, and it’s a very nice, well-muscled back. Her eyes trace his form, a brow quirking when she sees pink hair something dark poking through the strands. He hums to himself and Lucy shakes her head, amused to see her supposed one-night-stand cooking breakfast.

She’s about to call out to him when she notices a weird, circular shape on her kitchen floor, chalk smeared across the tiles. Now that she’s looking, she can see that her kitchen is an absolute disaster. There’s a large crack in her table and one of the chairs is laying in a pile, completely splintered.

What the fuck?

Mystery man turns around, smiling when he sees her. “Mornin’, Sunshine!” he greets, grin revealing a row of wicked, sharp teeth. Lucy glances down at his toned chest, gaze following the outline of his stomach muscles. He clears his throat suddenly, and Lucy’s eyes snap back up. He quirks a brow and that’s when Lucy notices the spiraled horns poking out from his messy hair.

Is that some kind of roleplay thing? Did she bring home some guy with a fantasy kink?

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anonymous asked:

Could you do an episode analysis on the new SU episode, please? How the trio interacted? Connie's speech in the end? Lapis acting more like her true self? Anything that caught your eye.

THEY BROUGHT BACK PERIDOT’S THEME! I’VE MISSED IT SO MUCH!

It was a really good episode, honestly! I love all the little details- Pumpkin falling immediately in love with Connie, Peridot trying to work through an issue the way she believes Garnet would, Lapis really only being here because Peridot is her barnmate and Steven is her bestest buddy ever, Connie in Steven’s clothes (I was so hype about that, honestly) and just wanting to do her assigned job but now she’s on Gemsitter duty and they’re playing some stupid game and honestly she could’ve just stayed home if this was how it was gonna be.

(Pictured: smol child who is ready for war, but not quite ready for dealing with her Tempmates.) 

And, really, it was only natural that they would fail at the roles they were assigned.

Connie’s much more straightforward and no-nonsense than Steven, and her training over the year has only exacerbated that. She can’t just sit there and talk about loving each other when deep down she just wants to knock their heads together and make them get their crap straight. She just can’t.

Peridot, on the other hand, isn’t really about that leader life. She’s great at pointing out where to go and how when she’s in her niche area- technology- but otherwise she tends to go with whatever she thinks will get her the most brownie points, not necessarily what’ll get the job done.

She tried, but Peridot just isn’t ready for any sort of leadership gig quite yet. Maybe in a few millennia. 

Lapis’ sense of humor is remarkably close to sarcasm for a Gem, which is a bit off-putting as compared to Amethyst’s “YOLO” style of poking fun. She also had no real involvement in any of this- no interest in Beach City, or the Crystal Gems. Her love is all for Peri and Steven. 

(Also, I love how, when Lapis pretends not to know her, Peridot just turns to her looking betrayed like Lapis how dare)

Lapis is slowly returning more and more to her original self. Will she ever be the Gem we met in Mirror Gem? Nah. Doubt it. But she can still find a middle ground between the two personalities. 

Peridot has only just started stretching her legs as a Crystal Gem. She doesn’t really know what to do as of yet. The CGs have been remarkably patient with her, letting her learn the basics at the farm and bringing her along on the odd mission. Their teaching style so far has been far more hands-off than it was with Steven or Connie, and it shows with her every fumbling movement. 

They really need to start prompting her more. Even if it’s just a talk to more firmly settle Peridot into the fact that she’s here, she’s one of them, and that’s all she needs to be, should she so choose.

Connie, on the other hand, is far more passionate about her job. She wants to be a Crystal Gem. She wants to prove herself. She wants it to be okay for the Gems to rely on her the next time Homeworld comes a’knocking.

And will this be enough? No. But it’s a start, and she really wanted that start. 

Then Peri and Lapis drag their feet in. Lapis isn’t a CG, which is fine- it’s her choice- but Peridot is, and neither of them have even a basic clue as to what they’re doing, yet they somehow manage to take over her show and turn it into this weird half-attempt, half-accident thing they’ve got goin’ on. She’s not unhappy, so to speak; this just isn’t what she expected.

In short- 

Somebody help me I love these characters so much.

Extra shots of Connie I found hilarious:

Nope nope nope not today friendo.

I’m gonna murder your entire family, you terrible Garnet impersonator.

You come into MY HOUSE, mock MY RESPONSIBILITIES, belittle MY ANXIETY,

You’re not even trying anymore, are you?

*Aggressively singing to herself* here comes a thought, that’ll get me in trouble….

AHHH SCREW IT I’M CHOOSING GENOCIDE RUN

Craziest thing about being a teenager was when you were rude as hell to your own parents but nice as pie to your friend’s parents.

*Me at home to my mother and father* “I hate you both! And I’ll listen to whatever fucking music I want to! Screw you!”  

*me at Janet’s house*

*Me* “Oh, hello, Mrs Cowan. How are you? How have you been since your knee operation? Oh, that good. You’re looking wonderful. Have you lost weight?”

Then, later, Janet would chew out her Ma…right in front of me. But when she came over to my house she always made a point of enquiring politely about my mother’s church activities.   

Edge of Seventeen (Ethan x Reader)

Summary: Requested by a lot of people, begging for a badboy!Ethan.
Word Count: 2,771
Warnings: None.
A/N: I kid you not, I spent all night thinking about ideas for this fic and I ended up dreaming about badboy!E and I woke up so disappointed. I would recreate the dream if I could remember it but all I know is that it was hella good. Also, enjoyyyy xx (Title from Stevie Nicks’ Edge of Seventeen)

Picture edited by me.


There he was again. Ethan Dolan. The annoying, tattooed guy who liked to throw deadly glances at someone who stared a second too long at him, smirking when the person would scramble away. He was cocky, rude, had no good sense of humor and would hang out in the courtyard with his equally as annoying friends.

You tried to avoid him the best you could, not because you were scared of him. But because he was just annoying you so badly that you couldn’t stand to stare at his stupid face. Sure, he was attractive but the boy was bad news.

Ethan and you had classes together; three to be exact. So he knew who you were, same as you knew who he was. But you had never given him the benefit of the doubt whenever he tried to rile you up, only turning the other way and completely ignoring him. Maybe that’s why he enjoyed making your life a living hell, because you were probably the only one at the entire school who dared to defy him. Whereas you saw him as this troubled, young bad boy, he saw you as this pristine, stuck-up princess and that’s what he’d call you. Princess.

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HQ!! 257

I like how tsukishima has gotten to that point with hinata where he doesn’t even try to contradict him anymore. If it’s not a big deal he’ll just humor the little gremlin and lets whatever will happen happen. Hinata’s like “don’t be jealous” and tsukishima’s barely holding in that eye roll like “oh gee I’ll try”. He’s so exhasperated but at the same time he’s obviously allowing it and it’s almost, dare I say it, friendly. I love it.

anonymous asked:

Reyes + cheesy pick-up lines! Cheesier the better!

how can anyone resist cheesy pick-up lines. 800+ words, and a good dash of tooth-rotting fluff for you.


There were certain times when the wind blew in just the right direction, dusty yellow-grey clouds of sulphur and sand were kicked up into the slums. Frankly, it didn’t do much to make the place any worse than it already was, but SAM advised them to take precautions when heading out to the forward station. Scott wore a light-weight respirator. Reyes, like most Kadara residents, made do with a bandana knotted over his mouth and nose.

They made it to the Nomad no worse for wear, other than red-rimmed eyes and stench of rotten eggs they’d never be able to wash out. Scott pulled up a routine systems check, while Reyes tugged his bandana down and sighed dramatically. 

“All these toxic clouds, and you’re the one that leaves me breathless,” he said. 

Scott closed the system check UI and slowly turned to Reyes with a blank look. He reach across and pulled the bandana back up over his mouth.

Even if his pride would never allow him to say it, Scott knew part of Reyes wanted to to visit Eos, to see the first true Initiative settlement, a bastion of promise for all Milky Way species in the Heleus. It had been easier than he had expected to coax him into a shuttle he’d requisitioned specifically for the occasion, lured by promises of a romantic, secluded break (and the guarantee of a good enough signal to keep contact with Keema, just in case).

They touched down on a rocky outcrop overlooking Podromos, since once Reyes had realised where there were going, he had made it very clear he wanted to keep a bodily distance from any actual contact. Scott had been fine with that. He just wanted to let Reyes see what they had managed to achieve, that even if he loved it, there was more for humanity than places like Kadara. 

“It’s so hot here. Much hotter than home. All this desert…” Reyes trailed off as he took a seat beside Scott at the cliff’s edge, his feet hanging over the side just like the time they’d spent on the rooftops in Kadara. Their hands found each other, their fingers twined, and Scott felt a flush of warmth that had nothing to do with the blazing sun, “…and you’re still the one making me thirsty.”

“Pathfinder,” SAM announced out loud so they could both hear, “If you pushed him now, I could still make it look like an accident. Would you like me to proceed?”

They stood on the balcony of one of Reyes’ many rat-hole apartments in Kadara Port, side by side, arm brushing arm as the fat yellow sun went down on them. It was a rare and coveted moment of peace, with neither of them being pinged for the next emergency, neither of them with anywhere they urgently needed to be. Scott sighed contentedly and let his head rest against Reyes’ shoulder as they watched the constant comings-and-goings of the streets below. 

They were only a few floors up, but it still felt like a world away, like they were in orbit, so unreachable and alone. It was a chance to notice how Kadara itself had grown and changed under the Charlatan’s rule. There were more people, since it was a free port now. The scant few vendors had became a real market. There were ordinary people who felt safe enough to venture out, families too. There were even sanitation workers around the clock, cleaning the gutters and clearing away the constant build-up of refuse.

“Garbage men in Kadara. I can hardly believe it,” Scott said with a half-smile. It was such an insignificant detail, but it felt like a true mark of civilisation on a wild frontier. Reyes let his head rest against Scott’s; he could feel him smile too.

“All these street-cleaners–” he began, but Scott had been ready for it. Without missing a beat he lifted his head, fisted his hand in the front of Reyes’ shirt, and crushed their lips together, swallowing whatever ridiculous pun had been coming next. They didn’t even bother him that much (although it would be nice to be able to have one intimate moment without the humor-defense shield active), it was really just a matter of principle at that point, and if Scott knew anything about his man, it was that there was really only one way to shut him up.

It worked like a charm; Reyes folded into him, around him, melting into the kiss like honey. He slipped his arms around Scott’s waist and held him close; Scott could feel his lashes brush his cheek, his tongue touch his teeth as they relaxed into each other. They swayed together, no Kadara, no Intiative, no Helius - for a moment, it was just the two of them in the entire galaxy. They broke apart eventually, but they stayed close enough to stop the world come creeping in between them, forehead against forehead, noses brushing. 

“…and you’re the one that swept me off my feet.”

Are you thinking of writing a Ganlink fanfic, or perhaps making some Ganlink fanart? Are you thinking that one of them must be a whiny, bratty, and extremely clingy and dependent drama queen? Well then, I would like to invite you to consider the following:

Link:
-Is selectively mute because he knows there are many expectations of him, and bears them silently as to keep the people reassured and confident in his skill
-Wears clothing that is practical depending on his situation
-Will help anyone with a smile on his face, even if he is pressed for time
-Has a sense of humor despite the responsibilities he has
-Gets straight to the point in a conversation
-Can understand when someone is frustrated and worried, and will support them even if they lash out at him
-Is there when you need him most no matter what
-Has excellent survival skills, and can make do with whatever he finds in the wild
-Is extremely strong, despite his small stature (he pushed back Ganondorf in TP with a clash of swords, like DUDE)
-Can think of getting out of hairy situations with a cool head, even when things take a turn for the worst

Ganondorf:
-Destroyed an entire island just because he was pissed off
-Wears tons of armor and bling which is probably very heavy and jeez how much does this man sweat
-Always flawless appearance, fuck practicality, he must look intimidating in his edgy and blingy armor and he WILL use the giant most heavy sword ever because its intimidating and “look at how powerful I am”
-Makes elaborate and ominous sounding speeches about everything, even when he’s about to die. Does this man ever say anything without some added drama or ominous warning in there?
-As a result, even in death he is dramatic
-Has such a powerful venegful complex that he won’t ever give up on his goals, even after dying a couple of times and slowly losing his sanity and humanity with each subsequent reincarnation, even knowing full well that there will always be a hero to come strike him down. Very vengeful man here.
-Eventually just settles with destroying Hyrule because if he can’t have it NO ONE CAN.
-Will leech off some poor host, buttering them up and being such a great ally until he gets what he wants. Then he ditches everyone and its all about him and what he wants, he’s running this show solo now.
-Will not do anything without having his fortress and legions of monsters, and will only take care of the problem himself when everyone else he placed between himself and his enemy is dead.
-Gets progressively pissy and and panicky as he realizes that he is about to fail, again.

All in all, if someone is gonna be the whiny clingy bratty drama queen, it’s totally gonna be Ganondorf my dudes :)

anonymous asked:

hi there! i'm relatively new (and lost) on this side of tumblr--do you think you could explain what a writeblr is + a few tips on starting one?

First of all welcome to the writing side of tumblr! We have some pretty great little circles here, so you’ve come to a good place. 

What is a writeblr? A writeblr is any tumblr blog with a focus on your own personal writing, generally original fiction. Like fiction itself, each writeblr is unique and there’s no wrong way to go about it. 

Tips for starting a writeblr:

- Follow other writeblrs, and then talk to the people who follow you back. Since you both write, you already have a common interest! The purpose of the writing community here is to help writers support each other. That requires communication.

- Put up a page with a bit of info about your writing projects. It can be however little or much information you want to share, but letting your followers know what you’re working on can help bridge the gap between you.

- Post original content. Everyone is a little different in how they approach this. You could offer writing tips, rant about your characters, write up daily or weekly posts talking about what you’ve accomplished on your wips, post excerpts, write humorous posts about the trials of writing, or motivational posts to encourage other writers to get to work – the options are endless and there’s no wrong way to do it.

- Let off some steam. It’s okay to share your writing struggles on your writeblr. Every other writer has gone through the same thing at some point, and you’ll be surprised at how many people will relate to whatever you’re feeling in the moment.

- Apply for @writeblrconnections. They have a nice little FAQ page that talks about what they are and why to join them. It’s a great way to meet new writers and start getting involved in the community.

I hope that helps a bit, and good luck with your future writeblr! Whatever you do with it, it’ll be great :)

peggaboo  asked:

Prompt: All of team paladin finds themselves up on the bridge/ in the kitchen because they could'nt sleep (for various reasons), it turns into a cake eating hangout or slumber party. It's probably been done to death, I know, but it's always a nice trope.

I want you to know that this is titled “Castle of Lions passes the burrito test”. It ended up being just two people (sorry!) but it was a conversation I wanted to write so. Here it goes.

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There is literally nothing important here, just homesick a bit

I’m totally against the “this father changed his baby’s diaper once, what a hero!!!” bullshit, but tbh I really am glad I have my dad. He’s always been really involved in me and my brother’s life, both emotionally but in the daily drudgework of getting us ready for school, trading housework/etc with my mom, things like that (and getting me ready in the morning is MAJOR drudgework). And he and I have been best buddies since the start, he would share his interests and life with me when I was a kid instead of just assuming “oh it’s a girl, don’t bother.” And to be fair, I’ve always been pretty tomboy/gnc/whatever, so I liked a lot of the stereotypical “boy” things like baseball or camping or labor history and politics, but even if what I was doing wasn’t totally in line with his interests, he’d still try to participate and encourage me as opposed to just dismissing it as Dumb Girl Shit and ignoring me.

And I noticed it HARD as a kid, although I didn’t of course know Theory ™ about masculinity. He’d often be the only father participating in my girl scout outings or school events, and he was emotionally open and loving to my brother and I in a way that is really discouraged in my home culture, where a father is supposed to be the emotionally distant authority, who trains his sons to be Men and leaves his daughters to his wife to learn womanly ways or whatever the fuck. And he’s accepted us both in ways that again really go against the grain of what A Father is supposedly supposed to do.

His sense of humor–aside from the worst corny-ass dad jokes, which dear God he does so much–is really sharp and banter-y, but not cruel, which really influenced the humor of both my brother and I (I say as a mean internet bitch, but still), and he always finds it just as funny when he’s the butt of our jokes and bants.

There is absolutely no point whatsoever to this post other than I’m kinda drunk and miss my fam a bit, living on another continent. The biggest part, honestly, is that its so sad as a kid I had to feel so grateful that my dad was and is a friend to me in a way that I didn’t see for other girls around me.

loquaciousquark  asked:

Fenris/Hawke, 15? If you feel like it!

There are private baths in Hightown, and Hawke loves them for the extravagance and perfumed water. In almost all else, she’s her father’s daughter, more comfortable in a muddy cloak and well-worn boots than in stays and fancy shoes.

But for a warm room and a heated pool that is all her own for an hour? She is ready to embrace her mother’s heritage. Especially if it means that she can swim through water that smells just faintly of peonies and sweet pea and press her cheek against Fenris’ back.

“Mm?” The baths make Fenris drowsy, limbs heavy. That they almost always come here first after a job doesn’t help.

And they barely survived the last job, so sopping wet with gore that her boots squished all the way to Hightown.

Hawks kisses along his spine. “Do you need me to wash your hair?” His markings make her lips numb, a strange jolt of something that she can’t quite name.

She might run her tongue over the line of his spine, just for see if he’ll react. It’s hard to say; her mouth is numb, of course.

He chuckles but doesn’t move. “Whatever the lady wishes,” he says, in a low tone that makes her shiver, turning just slightly so he can give her a look.

“I don’t really want to wash your hair.” She kisses the sharp point of one shoulder blade.

“Don’t shock me so.” His tone is dry as he turns and takes her into his arms, the water rippling around them. “I may pass out and drown.”

Hawke grins, bending close for a moment to nip at his lips. “Your humor is still terrible.”

One black brow raises, as if to say ‘My humor,’ but then he rolls his hips and she might just forget to reply.

I’m not a very good babysitter. I kept pointing out the plot holes in the Teletubbies TV show to my toddler nephew as we watched it together.

“Wait, the Tiddlytubbies? That is a thing? The teletubbies are basically toddlers..and they’re being put in charge of….um, other toddlers. Sorta feels like someone should call child services at this point. Who created the Tiddlytubbies? Where did they even come from? Will they rise up and destroy the teletubbies eventually? No one knows. Frankly, I question this show’s dramatic arc.”  

*He stares at me blankly*

*Oh, whatever. If it keeps you entertained.”