whatever that beverage is

More Humans are Weird

Because this hash tag is SO FUN and thought-provoking. 

No one can keep up with humans and gender. There are no easy signs to tell who is what, not clothing, not body morphology, not how they paint themselves or their grooming or vestigal hair. The humans themselves argue about how many genders there are. Eventually they quit trying and refer to all humans as ‘they’. Most humans are fine with that, even compliment them on their support (?) and progressive views (??). A few humans are offended, but are shouted down by their other humans. The other beings of the galaxy officially give up. 

Some humans want to have sex all the time. Others barely can stand to be touched at all, even casually. Some will have sex with their own gender, which does not produce offspring and is confusing to many. Some will have sex only with certain people, some will have sex with anyone. SOME will have sex with other species, occasionally challenging their own safety and everyone else’s. None of this is considered strange. Anyone saying it is strange is again shouted down and shamed into silence. The other beings of the galaxy officially give up. 

Humans adopt small predators as pets and kiss their “widdle faces” and giggle over their clawed toes (???) and fuss and are thrilled when the predators sleep with them (isn’t that UNSAFE? IT IS FULL OF POINTY BITS) and often sport scratches and bite marks inflicted when the animal was ‘playing’. 
“When were these ‘cats’ domesticated?”
“Oh, we never really domesticated them. We just let them move into the house with us. Aren’t they CUUUUUTE? Come here, baby.” -kissy noises-
The other beings of the galaxy again give up. 

Wars fought. Millions - probably billions, through history - killed. Crew members huffy with each other. Various holidays celebrated, none of which make sense, some of them celebrating events that are physically impossible and could not have happened. All for something that can’t be proved. 
The other beings of the galaxy would think this was all an elaborate prank if it wasn’t for the body count. 

Humans get INFECTED and act as if it is a personal affront, and cuss about it. They confine themselves to quarters so they don’t infect the rest of the crew - very kind, in that respect - and otherwise wrap themselves in bedding and bitch about it for three days while doing their work by remote - “It’s fine, just a cold.” followed by horrifying noises they call ‘coughing’ and ‘sneezing’ -  and HOW. HOW DO THEY EVEN. 
The other beings of the galaxy, for whom infection is always life-threatening, boggle from a safe distance. With respirators on. 

They come from a death planet, these naked apes with no armor, no fangs, no speed. They have the ability to conquer the galaxy, if they only agreed with each other long enough that it was their goal. Instead they poke their noses into other death worlds, ‘exploring’, they call it, adopting horrifying creatures and making friends with other predatory beings, brewing poisonous beverages from whatever they can scrounge, which they then drink for fun. The rest of the galaxy is relieved. If humans had an attention span, they would truly be in trouble. 

No one wants to know what a ‘shark’ is. Humans seem to be afraid of them, and if it frightens the humans, the rest of the galaxy is, to a being, terrified. 

Vaporwave Rick taking a big break at a bar across the ‘verse

Yondu and Meredith raising Peter together AU (one of the fandom’s current favorite AUs, bless you guys) would include: 

  • Yondu and Meredith both staying up with Peter when he’s very sick. Yondu brews really strong coffee or whatever potent caffeinated beverage the ship has that will keep them awake for their boy when he needs them.
  • Normal family dinner stuff. “Yondu, elbows off the table, please.” And he actually takes his elbows off. 
  • Meredith embarrassing Yondu in front of the other Ravagers by offering to kiss his injuries better when he complains about them (she’s been through childbirth so she has no time for his whiny nonsense). 
    -When she actually kisses one of his wounds (when they’re alone) he refuses to admit that it really does make him feel better. 
  • Meredith being mistakenly called Mrs. Udonta by strangers and also mockingly by the crew. 
  • Even Peter not being entirely sure what his mother and Yondu’s relationship is. “Mom, is Yondu my stepdad or something?” “WHAT?! NO!” 
Kidge Week, Days 1 and 3 (Jealousy, Change)

Strolls up with unedited fic for Day 1 of @kidgeweek two days late, desperately clutching an empty can of Red Bull

Fandom: Voltron Legendary Defender
Paring: Keith x Pidge
Words: 4528
Tags: Jealousy, post-war, swearing, innuendo, translation errors

Read part 2 here

“Hangin’ in there, man?”

For someone who out-massed and out-muscled most, Hunk could move with surprising delicacy when he set his mind to it. Keith had been in the line of fire - figuratively and literally - enough by now not to startle when Hunk’s voice piped up right at his side, but the serene smile on Hunk’s face told Keith that he’d been caught. His fixation on the beings clustered throughout the ballroom had left him blind to Hunk’s approach.

“I’m fine,” was Keith’s curt reply.

Six years was a long enough time for both to know that Keith meant no offense and Hunk took none; Hunk laughed and pointed to the small plate in Keith’s left hand.

“You may be fine, but what about that poor napkin?”

Keith’s right hand stilled. The napkin on his plate had been torn into a fine crumble, the victim of a racing mind and a need to fidget.

“I guess I’m a bit bored,” he conceded.

That wasn’t quite it though, and Keith’s words must have been even less convincing than his voice, given the way Hunk shook his head and let out a short hum. Keith sent up a prayer that Hunk would question no further, and for once the universe seemed to answer: Hunk opened his mouth, and at that exact moment, a familiar voice rose up from the other side of the room.

“Hunk! This one requests your presence for the purposes of an introduction!”

Even in a room crowded with aliens of all types, Shay stood out from the rest. Like Hunk, she towered over the more diminutive species present, and it was as impossible to miss her waving hand as it was to miss the way Hunk’s smile softened as he waved back.

“Well, I guess I gotta go over there for a bit, but try not to be a wallflower all night. Go ask Pidge to dance or something.”

Keith blinked, then whipped around to face Hunk, scowl fixed to deliver, but Hunk had already begun to leave as stealthily as he’d arrived.

“But no one is dancing!” Keith called after him.

“I know!”

Keep reading

To Help #2

Zen OPPA to the rescue! Now you know this boy will be coming in to save MC’s butt no matter what she needs. 

There’s a bomb in her house? He’s there. 

Psycho is about to kill her? He’s about to throw down some fists. 

MC is crying because she stubbed her toe on the foot of the couch? He’ll punch the crap out that couch. Not that it would help but it makes MC smile :)

Now this one will have definite mention of sexy time activities in it and expletives so be warned before reading- but if it doesn’t bother you, hopefully you enjoy! … oh and that brevity thing? Yeah I killed it. There is no such thing as brevity. Meet its replacement- big ass chunk of text >_

Keep reading

inactive-deleted  asked:

kara and alex talking about her job instead of m*nel

They don’t quite have sex all night.

Because when they’re – eventually – taking a breather, Alex checks her phone, and Maggie knows why.

And she tosses one of Alex’s sweaters onto her face immediately.

“What gives, Sawyer?” Alex emerges from the sweater with even more tousled hair than she started with, and Maggie can’t help but lean down and kiss her nose.

“You wanna go see your sister. And you should. Do you want me to come with?”

Alex squints at her for a long moment and reads everything in her eyes.

I don’t want to intrude on your sister time, and I don’t want to get in the way. But I almost lost you, Alex, forever, and I need you near me, I need you close, I need you, I need you, I need you.

“Course you can come, babe.”

“Funny, I thought I already did. Several times, in fact.”

“And you call me a nerd.”

They carry on the snark and the flirtation – and the hand holding, always the hand holding, because they’ll have to deal with the fallout of living through hell in the morning, but god at least they’re both alive and very much on earth to get through it together –  until they reach Kara’s door with two bags overflowing with potstickers.

Alex doesn’t knock, and Maggie finds herself wondering how her life would be different if her family loved her as much as Alex and Kara love each other.


Kara’s eyes are droopy and even Maggie knows it’s a terrible sign that she’s not even stress-eating anything.

“We brought potstickers,” Alex sing-songs softly, but there’s a sadness underneath her voice.

Kara hears it, and she appreciates it beyond belief. Her lower lip wobble, and she’s in Alex’s arms almost before Maggie can grab the potstickers and get them to safety.

“You almost were on the other side of the galaxy,” Kara sobbed. “I didn’t think I could do it, but you… you never stopped believing in me, and I… but that was as Supergirl, not…”

She sniffles and straightens and tears bitterly into the bag Maggie’s holding.

“Apparently Kara Danvers isn’t even worth keeping around at CatCo.”

“Kara, no.”

“Karayesh,” Kara mutters with a full mouth, and Alex is relieved that at least she’s stuffing her face.

“Oh, Little Danvers, I’m so sorry,” Maggie reaches for Kara’s forearm. “But listen, kid, you did what you thought was right. Alex lost her job, too. And she got it back. You’ll get it back, Kara.”

But Kara just shakes her head at the potstickers. “Snapper would never let me. He was… so disappointed. If Ms. Grant was here… Well, no, Ms. Grant would have run the story in the first place, she…”

Kara’s shoulders shake and Alex gathers her into her arms as Maggie leans back to send off a quick text.

Ms. Grant – Maggie Sawyer again. Sorry to bother, but Kara went out on a limb to save lives with an article, and Snapper fired her. Anything you can do?

“Kara,” Alex is whispering, over and over and over again, relishing the feeling of her sister’s safe, safe, safe, alive body in her arms, even if that body is wracking with sobs.

“CatCo was my normal, Alex, it was everything, it – I’m nothing without CatCo, I – “

“No. No no no no no. First, Maggie’s right, you might get it back, but even if you never did, Kara, you… You were the one who refused to believe us all about Lena Luthor. And look who was right? You were the one who wrote those expose articles, you were the one who figured out how to save all those missing people. You. Not Supergirl. And you… Kara, you were my sister such a long time before you were Supergirl. And my sister? My sister’s a hero. Always has been. Because my sister – you, Kara, you – you started saving my life so long before you ever put on that cape. You’re loyal, Kara, and you’re compassionate, and you are so much better, so much kinder, than I could ever hope to be. And that? After all you’ve been through, all you’ve survived? That is a superpower, Kara Danvers. And I know how much you love CatCo, and I know what it does for you, but I promise you, sis, you don’t need to ever worry that Supergirl is the only thing you have going for you. Because Kara Danvers? Pretty amazing all on her own.”

“Argyle sweaters and all, Little Danvers” Maggie kisses her cheek, and Kara smiles as she sniffles.

“I haven’t been wearing that much argyle lately.”

“Yeah, you’ve been dressing a lot gayer, Little Danvers, been meaning to ask you about that and a certain Luthor – “

Kara jumps when her phone rings and Alex arches an eyebrow at Maggie.

“Ms. Grant! Is everything alright, is Carter okay, I – ”

“I don’t know what you were thinking, Keira, with this Danvers.com fiasco, but I certainly hope that the reason you didn’t simply reach out for advice in such a dire situation was because your phone only just now miraculously recovered from whatever millennial beverage you spilled on it – “

“Ms. Grant, I – “

“No need for apologies, Kiera, I’ve called your boss and explained that in no uncertain terms is her permitted to let the most promising young reporter I’ve ever seen get scooped up by some scrap of a publication like The Planet simply because he was too hard-headed about priming you to be a reporter to see the broader picture you were trying to paint for him about, you know, that little matter of saving lives. So you’re to report back to your desk tomorrow morning, Kiera, and you are going to tolerate his wrath and you are going to tolerate the whispers from your co-workers and you are going to hold your head up high because I seem to have heard something about a ship full of refugees being rescued, and don’t think I don’t know you had quite a lot to do with that.”

Alex and Maggie beam as Kara blinks and adjusts her glasses furiously.

“Ms. Grant, I – “

“No no, none of your tired excuses or gratitude speeches, it’s too late and I’m too exhausted for either of them, just one more thing before I end this conversation: I’m proud of you, Kara. I am so, so very proud of you.”

The line disconnects before Kara can splutter out anything even resembling words, and when she falls asleep an hour or two later snuggled between Alex and Maggie on her bed, it’s with a smile on her face and something that feels like confidence in Kara Danvers in her heart.

anonymous asked:

Pls can I have Reaper x Fem!Reader after Reader accidentally calls him daddy/something of the likes?

What a way to try and get back into writing!!
- - - - - - - - – -  -


You wouldn’t think that a simple 6 day stake out would take such a large toll on you. But then again surviving on coffee for those six solid days wasn’t such a good idea. Who are you kidding it was a brilliant idea.

The ding on the espresso machine made you beeline for the mug yearning for the caffeinated warmth. After mixing in the milk and little bit of sugar, who needs diets anyways, you finally sipped the drink sighing in relief body relaxing.

“(Y/N) you are due in for report.” You were just able to hear an agent talk through the comm. You placed the mug on the table before tuning in.
“Still no major movement from target besides the date with Ms. Tinner two nights ago.” You looked over your notes to confirm what you had said. You nodded to yourself. “Yep, that’s all. Talk to you in three.”

You looked over to the building opposing yours to see that your target, Mr. Hanser CEO of a major company. You weren’t quite sure of the details, just watch him for about a week.

You just stared blankly at the man as he drowned his whiskey watching some rom com from the 50s that somehow is still going on. The reflection of dark movement caught the corner of your eye. You craned you head backwards to see Reaper sluggishly making his way out of the bedroom into the living room.
“Morning daddy.” You then moved your head back to see that Mr. Hanser was in the same position. If anything a new glass of whatever beverage. Deaf to your own words you continued to drink your own beverage.

Reaper coughed into his fist despite the mask blocking his face. You looked back jumping slightly forgetting he was in the room for a moment.
“What’s up daddy-o?”
“What are you doing?” Words dripping from his lips. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Don’t pretend with me.” You shook your head.
“Dunno what you’re talking about.”
“Why are you saying that word.” He moved his head closer to yours to emphasis ‘that’.
“What word?” Reaper allowed you a few seconds to think in what you’ve said and sigh when he saw the realization on your face. “Oh… well your not opposing it.” You didn’t see it but Reaper had opened his mouth to speak but all he did was turn into his wrath form and go back to the bedroom.


Credence Barebone x Reader

Rain fell fiercely, soaking the poor souls that passed by the dark streets in a hurry to just get home after a hard day of work.

His quiet, though watchful eyes stared at the people from above, blurred little ants that ran to escape the heavy water drops, same ones that hit against the thick window he stood by. His cheap hotel room was simple as himself; gray walls, lack of furniture and small bathroom with a tub that barely had space for his form.

He was a ticking bomb, but in his loneliness, he covertly learned how to control it.

He was out of radar and living in the shadows, gladly managing to escape Grindelwald’s grip. For all he knew, everyone in New York thought he was dead. At least he liked to think that way; deep inside he still had the feeling that the wizard knew about his whereabouts and that paranoid feeling of being watched never really faded away. Boston seemed like a good place to live, so far.

It was all going smoothly. No one minded him. He got a plain job and no one asked him questions, no one cared about where he was from, no one seemed to give him a second glance. It was much like New York itself…

… Until he met you.

You came along, pierced his heart and made yourself at home without any permission.

You were the woman who crashed into his life uninvited and ruined everything he worked so hard to sustain. Now it seemed as if to stop thinking about you, as simple as it sounded, was an impossible task. Your voice, your laugh, the way you would batter your eyelashes at him and blush whenever he looked at you the right way… Or was it wrong way? He did not even know.

Credence did not have a clue. He had never felt that way before.

He closed his eyes and sighed. It was not like him. What was happening?

All his life, Credence was deprived of love and affection. The closest he felt to cared about was when Tina saved him from his mother and when Mr. Scamander tried to help him, but that was a decade ago or more. He lost count.

These people were in the past, a past he wished to leave behind at all costs.

He did not need love. He was fine without it.

He could not trust anyone but himself.

So why did you insist on showing up? Or why was it that he often found himself inside the doors of the fancy club you sang at? Why did you want to destroy the walls he worked so hard to build back after feeling so betrayed by Mr. Graves, or whoever he thought was him?

He needed to let it go, to let you go.

He could not let you in. It had to stop.

He had to forget about you. He needed to push the thought of you away.

You did not know how long you spent looking at the same spot of the adorned mirror that reflected your exhausted complexion.

You saw him.

He did not notice you at all.

You could not stop the ironic chuckle that escaped your throat.

Since you turned sixteen… All those years you spent taking advantage of your stunning beauty, using men, making the rich give you all kinds of jewelry and luxurious gowns, shoes, taking you to the most expensive parties and clubs… You were charming, owner of a powerful and lovely voice, not to mention an actress of undeniable talent.

It was useless with him, though.

He simply did not see you.

You would get on stage with eyes that looked out for him and him only. Rare times, he would be there. In those days, it was as if the show was performed only for him. Nobody else existed in the crowd and still, every time your eyes met, he looked away, taking a nonchalant sip of whatever beverage he always had, his free hand inside his pocket, as if you were just a cheap act, as if you meant nothing.

You sighed, staring at your reflection once more, putting on a fake smile, the one that got you through every night.

How cruel life could be.

Months passed since you had last seen him.

It was crazy, you knew. A lady should not be doing this, but then again… Could you really be considered a lady? Who were you? You had no idea. Only thing you knew was that you always got what you wanted and right then, there was only one thing you wanted…


You were used to not seeing him for days, but he would show up at least once a week. Never gone for weeks, months! It was absurd! It was outrageous!

It was driving you insane.

You needed your dose of him and you had enough of the abstinence.

You knew you should not be doing what you were about to, but you felt crazed and acted as such. When you think you have nothing to lose, you are inclined to throw caution and common sense to the wind.

Footsteps were heard, louder and louder. Your heart raced. Was it he? You had second thoughts; biting one of your perfectly polished nails, you thought that if it was not him, maybe you should just leave and forget about this madness.

As the doorknob turned, though, you knew it was too late to go back.

After torturing minute of silence, you heard the door slide open. The pale moonlight lit up his face in the darkness as he moved.

You stared at him from across the room. As soon as his eyes fell upon you, he paused, a flash of shock showing through his stare.

You observed patiently, making no sound. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he took off his coat, let it hung up by the door, finally looking at you once more, and then out of his window. You leaned against his wall, staring at his ethereal complexion touched by the blueish rays of light.

“What are you doing in my room?” His deep, now steadier voice inquired, so cold and distant.

You knew you should feel discouraged by his words. You should be embarrassed. You probably should apologize and leave; you had intruded his place – it took you no more than a charming smile to the gatekeeper, an autograph and it was all needed to have his keys and a permit to get inside the building.You were out of line and you knew it.

You did not care, though.

You needed your dose of him. You wanted to look at him; you thought it would be enough to satisfy your heart.

Big mistake.

“I had to see you.” You stated, your enchanting voice faltering just slightly.

He hesitated. You watched the clash of feelings inside his eyes, but it was not long until that blank, expressionless look was back on his face.

He waited for you to speak, but no more words came. He closed his eyes, a hand running through his now disheveled, short but messy hair.

He had to push you away.

“Very well. You saw me. Please leave, now.”

Again, no words came from you. He took a deep breath. You were too persistent and he did not have the will to waste time with all of it. He was not like the men he thought you clung to. What did you want from him?

“Please do not let me ask you again.” Credence pressed on, noticing your coat and picking it up as if to give you a clue he was serious about it, opening the door and looking at his feet, waiting for you to move.

“Alright.” You whispered, sighing. Walking towards the door where he stood, you watched as he held out your coat for you to take, not even lifting his eyes to spare you one last glance.

It hurt. It hurt terribly and you fought the urge to press your hand to your heart.

“Y/N.” You spoke, so close that he could feel the lovely scent that came from your hair and clothes. It was somehow intoxicating.

He hesitated again. He should not care about it. He did not ask your name. In fact, he knew it from the many posters around town, posters that announced your shows, always showing your beautiful smiles and poses.

“Credence.” He murmured, his voice hoarse, raw.

Your heart skipped a thousand beats in one spare second.

It happened too fast… Before he could anticipate it, your hand reached out and touched his cheek tenderly. He hastily took a step back, as if you had burned him. You gasped softly, alarmed, recoiling and trying hard to ignore the sharp stab that assaulted your heart once more.

“Please leave, get out. Now! Get out!” His voice was louder and desperate.

You did not think twice and nodded nervously, storming out of the small apartment, tears streaming down your face as you hurried down stairs, walking out the building and running as fast as your heels allowed, the cold heavy rain striking every part of your body.

Credence breathed heavily, horrified. He stared at the opened door after a moment; his own heartbeats were painful inside his chest.

You probably hated him now.

It was probably for the good, as well.

So why did he feel so… Wrong?

He was about to run a hand through his hair again, but was stopped as he realized he was still holding your coat. He sighed, helplessly. He lived in a distant part of the town. It was a fact you had to cross a long way to reach him. Now you were out in the freezing rain in that ridiculously thin dress, most likely soaked to the bone. With no coat.

He grabbed his own coat and followed your steps the best he could. Luckily, your high, expensive and now ruined heels prevented you from going very far.

“Y/N!” He tried, calling out for you.

Your heart almost stopped, but you forced yourself to ignore his voice, walking faster instead.

Credence frowned, irritated. He definitely was not used to this. Where all people this confusing or was it only this woman?

Finally catching up, he hesitated before closing his hand around your slim arm and pulling you to a halt, accidentally making you spin and crash against his chest.

“Sorry, I…” He stared, blushing lightly.

“No, please save it.” You cut him, shakily. Your tears streamed down with the rain, ruining your make up. “You were in your right, I was completely out of line and I do apologize. Now, if you will excuse me.” You bowed shortly before turning around again to leave.

You did not go far, though, for he still had his soft, although firm grip on your arm.

“What?” You hissed, annoyed, feeling utterly humiliated and broken.

“You forgot this.” He stated, both now soaked from head to toe.

You looked at him and then at his hand, spotting your then ruined coat.

You blinked a couple of times, feeling a new wave of shame washing through… And laughed bitterly.

“Of course! Why, thank you, kind sir!” You exclaimed, feeling ridiculous. “And here was I, thinking you actually had come after me, that you were worried. No! You just wanted to return me a spoiled coat!”

He frowned. “I think the only spoiled thing here is you, miss.”

His words felt like a slap on your face. You tugged your arm free. “It was a mistake. I should never have come after you.” You spat, as a wounded animal, walking away again.

Credence had no idea why watching you go made him feel so lost.

“What do you want from me?” He shouted, frustrated.

You stopped as soon as you heard him; all your feelings needed an escape or else you would burst. What did you want from him? Did you hear him right?

All right then.

Turning around, you walked to him with determined steps, a look of pure anger in your face and he braced himself, sure that you would smack him or anything of the sort.

Stopping right in front of him, your delicate hands grasped fistfuls of his white shirt and you pulled him to a bruising, harsh kiss.

Suddenly the world stopped spinning and all sounds ceased for Credence. The cold rain had no effect against the burning fever your lips inflicted to him. Slowly and instinctively, his hands rested around you, still uncertain. One kiss followed the other, until you were both out of breath and broke apart, noticing people had started to give you disapproving looks due to the public display of affection.

“I have no money. No possessions. I am a no one.” He whispered, closing his eyes.

“I don’t care.” You rested your forehead against his shoulder.

He flinched lightly with the new contact. “I am not… I am not normal. I am not… safe. You do not understand.”

You lifted your head just enough to whisper in his ear. “I don’t care, Credence.” You sighed and the action brought shivers down his entire body. “Let me in.”

“I cannot. Please, I cannot.” He pleaded.

“What about what I want?” You pulled away, your hands still on his shirt. “Let me in… Credence, please!”

“I will never make you happy. There are so many secrets… Just please leave. Forget me.”

“How can I forget you… No, Credence. Please… Let me cherish you, love you and we will both be happy! You can make me happy! I care not about the money… And… And if you say you are dangerous… Is there people after you? I do not mind, we can go anywhere… P-Please!” You found yourself in despair without any clue of why. You felt him slipping away and for some reason, it broke your heart. Why could that be? When you knew so little about him?

Love? He only realized the importance of those words when they left your mouth, but it could not be helped. You had no idea of what he was. He was sure you would think differently if you ever found out.

He sighed, his hands trembling as he gently loosened your grip on him. His dark eyes found yours again and he handed you the coat, stepping away.

“Thank you…” He started, taking another step backwards. “Do not look for me anymore.” He said with a sad, almost imperceptible smile on his face. “Forget about me, Y/N. I am not who you think I am. Stay away from me.”

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving you behind.

You stood in the rain, watching until he was out of sight. You felt as if he had stabbed your heart and left you there, to bleed.

It was over.

It was over before it had even begun.

anonymous asked:

Do you have a link to the drink mixing post(s)? Because I am both intrigued and terrified of whatever the "Cursed Beverage" is.






youtube ads

good: ten seconds long, teaches me how to mix an alcoholic beverage.

acceptable: whatever it is, it’s set to bouncy music at a reasonable volume.

bad: LOUD! /bUY PRO?duCt!!1!

really bad: How Do You Do Fellow Kids- It’s Okay, You Can Skip The Ad Now If You Want LOL Fam ;) ;) ;)

???: long and incredibly detailed sales pitch for industrial machinery

?????: is this…. a movie trailer…..? an.. art… fiiillm..? why is it fifty minutes? what do you mean it’s an ad for pepsi?

????????: that one that’s like twenty minutes of what sounds like a child casually telling me all about league of legends in an incredibly high pitched voice? and it just keeps going? what is this?   ???

anonymous asked:

Idk if you ever have those days you don't want to talk to God because of stress or something else but I seem to have it a lot and I'm not sure how to get over it?? It's dumb because I should be going to God and there's nothing to fear but sometimes my stress paralyzes me and I shut myself off from everyone and everything

Hi friend,

I do the same thing. 

I definitely think it depends on the person, but, for me, it’s important that I do get that time to myself so that I can recharge and just process everything that’s going on. It’s also important, after the fact, that I don’t let myself stay in that state. So it’s important that, once I’ve processed, I talk to someone. 

While I’m processing, I try not to completely block God out, but I definitely have had days where I don’t read my Bible and barely talk to Him because I’m just that down. During those times, what I would suggest, is to just reach out as much as you can. Just “help” is sometimes all He needs. One word. If you can do more, ask Him to change your heart and to help you to want to talk to Him. 

Let yourself process whatever it is you’re going through. Watch a lot of Netflix. Go for lots of walks. Drink lots of coffee/tea/whatever hot beverage you enjoy. Ignore your phone. Write in a journal. Whatever you want/need to do. Ask God for help. Even if it’s only that one word. 

Then, once you’ve processed, reach out. Reach out to God. Reach out to someone else. Find someone who can check in and who knows you and who you feel comfortable talking to. (I have to make myself do this eventually, or else I’ll be tempted to stay in the processing state for way longer than necessary and it can turn into something else.) 

Process. Self-love. Self-care. Reach out. Open up. 

You got this. God’s got this. I’m here if you need to talk. And I’ll be praying for you.

All my love,


Let’s play never have I ever with my muse!

Each time my muse has done something, they must take a drink of whatever alcoholic beverage you want them to have. These questions can be as invasive as you want, there are no boundaries. Let’s just hope your muse has a high alcohol tolerance!

college bf jin

hey y’all, so we’re starting this bts college boyfriend series, here’s 1/7 our queen, kim seokjin (aka seokdaddy), enjOY!!!

  • you’d be dating jin (duh)
  • and you both lived a few hours away from your hometowns
  • probably met at an extracurricular club at school
  • you were always dying for tuesday nights to come around bc that meant you’d see jin
  • and one night after your club met, he’d ask if you wanted to grab dinner with him
  • you obvs wouldn’t turn that offer down
  • like hello seokjin asking u out hell ya
  • after dinner he’d be like wow ur rlly cool we need to hang out again
  • and so you’d exchange numbers and he’d walk you to ur dorm
  • so y'all chill again next week
  • and the week after
  • and the week after
  • until you guys are hanging out everyday of every week
  • it’s not until 3 weeks before you guys head home for the holidays that he asks you to be his and ur just like ya bitch it’s about time!
  • you spend a lot of ur time in his dorm room
  • also becoming friends with his roommate hoseok
  • u and him are pretty tight too bc y'all are in the same program
  • anyway
  • so like the night before your big ass exam ur stressing the fuck out and jin knows ur dying in ur room bc it’s 9pm and u haven’t responded to his texts/calls all day 
  • probably haven’t eaten yet either 
  • so he makes the initiative to go to room and get you outta there regardless of ur exam
  • he takes you to his room and locks the door behind u so fast ur a little worried lowkey
  • “hoseok’s not here dw"
  • ur like “ok…"
  • he hands you a paper bag that’s like rlly heavy and u take out what’s in it
  • surprise ur absolute fav food
  • “pls eat, babe, you’ve been working ur pretty little ass off all day”
  • u just smile bc wow jin is literally tOO sweet for u
  • after u eat, he turns the lights off and turns the lamp on and throws ur garbage out for u
  • “lie down”
  • “jin I still have to finish studying”
  • “were you gonna study all night?”
  • “yes”
  • “then take a nap”
  • he proceeds to remove the comforter off the bed and gestures u to lie down
  • and ofc he lies down beside you
  • but wAIT, he gets up and ur looking at him like bitch wtf get back in bed with me it’s cold!!!!
  • but he gets up to open the curtains bc he knows how much u enjoy the scenery outside of his dorm room
  • (not urs tho bc u can only see campus buildings from ur window ew)
  • and you guys are both wearing ur university hoodies so y’all are toasty warm kinda
  • lying down in his bed, you have ur head in his chest and his chin is on top of ur head
  • he has his arms gently placed on your body
  • ur drained as fuck so as ur drifting off to sleep he whispers
  • “don’t worry i’ll wake u up in an hour”
  • and u can always rely on him
  • u felt him slightly move
  • probably bc he was setting an alarm on his phone
  • y'all fall asleep for a little while feeling cozy as fuck in the cold winter weather in his cute little dorm room
  • but u guys are woken up less than an hour later
  • (like literally 5 minutes before jin’s alarm goes off)
  • bc loud ass hoseok barges in with his bae 
  • and they’re laughing so loud as always
  • u feel jin’s head move and u hear him telling them to shut the fuck up
  • bc hello he cares so much about u
  • “shit”
  • “let’s go to my room hobi”
  • “ok”
  • they leave
  • jin’s alarm goes off literally 2 mins later
  • and ur like “20 more mins”
  • he’s like are u sure
  • ur like ya
  • anyway 20 mins later he walks u to ur dorm
  • and tells u to ring his phone down if u need absolutely anything and he leaves
  • but 6 hours later when it’s 7am, you’ve got an hour to get ready for ur 8am exam
  • someone comes in
  • and it’s not ur roommate bc that binch is whO knows where
  • it’s jin with a cup of tea/coffee/whatever caffeinated beverage u prefer
  • and a breakfast sandwich that he bought from the cafe that’s literally a 30 second walk from ur dorms
  • “good luck y/n you’ll kill it, i gotta go to class now but i love you a lot”
  • then he kisses u and leaves

anonymous asked:

Sometimes I have days when my anxiety is so bad that I don't want people touching me at all, not even my parents or a tap on the shoulder. What if Brendon is having one of those days 👀

Yes I totally understand this so I think one of the main indicators of Brendon’s anxiety to Ryan would be that he wouldn’t want to be touched because usually Brendon is very physically affectionate, so Ryan figures out plenty of ways to still be attentive and comforting to Brendon, putting on calming music to play through the house, lighting Brendon’s favorite candles, making him warm tea or whatever beverage he would like, and just generally creating a comforting, relaxing atmosphere around Brendon without giving him sensory overload and often times this is enough to at least distract Brendon from his anxiety or make it less intense, even if it doesn’t completely calm him down this is one of the steps that will help get him there, and he’s okay with having Ryan’s presence in the room as long as they’re not touching and Ryan lets Brendon breathe and talk as much as he wants and is simply sympathetic and yeah I think that would help him

Winter Fluff~

I asked, and you delivered! Now it’s my turn.~ Thank you to everyone who sent me a message with character suggestions, and as stated earlier I’m doing your five most requested. But don’t worry, if you’re fave isn’t here you can always send an ask my way and it’ll be on my request list.~ 

Also fyi for those not following me this is mostlyfluffy winter headcanons for some Overwatch characters! I’m doing winter-y ones because not everyone celebrates Christmas, yknow? I wanna give everyone a gift they can enjoy this season. That said, here are the winners: Lúcio, Genji. McCree, Reaper, and Mei! 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Whats helheim like

Traditionally? I think it’s meant to be a frozen barren wasteland of a realm. It’s not terribly inviting.

Originally posted by heartsnmagic

In my own practice? It’s the winter wonderland of the North. It has immense forests that cover the land but yield to the frozen lakes and rivers that run through it. The land is alive with animals who have passed on, and the forests themselves are the spirits of dead trees. The snow fall is frequent but it never seems to accumulate beyond a certain level, and that level never really drops. It’s this permanent stasis of everything winter is because it is death but life at the same time. It’s potential and endings. The sky at “night” is alive with auroras, and they come in all colors. Dotted in an amongst the forests are halls, but there is one hall that is massive. It can be seen from nearly all parts of Helheim because it rests on a mountain. Inside this hall, fires burn brightly, tables overflow with food and cups are always full of mead or whatever beverage the spirit desires. 

Hel sits among the spirits and shares in their tales and laughter. She enjoys hearing these stories because it’s the memories of a people and she is the keeper of them. She stores them away and can use them to gently remind those still living of what there is to hold dear. Helheim is the place of gentle death, it’s the place of content housewives who trade their recipes and projects. It’s the place of old men who tell the tales of how they were simple fishermen or crafters. It’s a place where death is the common theme but life is celebrated, from the young to the old, all are welcomed with open arms and a knowing smile.

25 ways to show your love, to a busy aspirational student
  • 1. Tell them that they're working hard. Remind them that they are doing enough because self doubt is the biggest bitch.
  • 2. Listen to them talk about what they want to do in the future. Let them share their goals and listen to whatever problems they're having.
  • 3. Buy them coffee (or other preferred beverage).
  • 4. While your at it pick up a muffin.
  • 5. Give them space. They need it.
  • 6. A hug a day keeps the shitty thoughts mildly away.
  • 7. Smile a whole fucking lot.
  • 8. Remind them often that they can take a break and that it will help them push forward not set them back.
  • 9. Ask them if they want a study buddy, sometimes company helps.
  • 10. Respect their wishes. If they say no, let it go, especially if they're having a good day.
  • 11. Make an effort to spend time with them just so they know that you care.
  • 12. Send a text their way before a test.
  • 13. Ask how exams went and not in a 'I want to know if I did better then you say'
  • 14. However a little competitiveness is good (as long as it's not destructive),power both of you to do better and achieve your own personnel goals.
  • 15. Separate your goals! Be individual and don't let your goals pull your loved one back.
  • 16. Be interested in their work!
  • 17. Support their choices. It probably took a long time to figure out what they wanted to do and as long as you don't think the choice is obviously a bad idea you should validate them.
  • 18. Encouragement is always appreciated.
  • 19. Ask and care about how their sleep is.
  • 20. Make an active effort to know a lot about them. It will help out later I promise.
  • 21. Don't pretend to care about things you really don't. Although the effort will be appreciated it's actually pretty discouraging.
  • 22. Treat them every once in a while. The effort will be returned and seriously it's the nicest thing.
  • 23. Keep up communication. Especially during exam periods keep talking to them and let them know your there for them.
  • 24. Share your thoughts and problems, communication is super important.
  • 25. And lastly, just tell them you love them. It's honestly the most uplifting thing.