whatever i'm so done with this

The Klance one-shot that nobody asked for

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Lance had witnessed many things in his kitchen: his mamá spill an entire pot of beans in the floor, one of his sisters go into labor at the table, a spider the size of his head crawling on the ceiling, their family dog nearly choke and die on a ham bone in a corner beside the oven. Needless to say, he’s not really surprised anymore when he catches something weird going on in there; That does in fact count the time his brother was caught standing on a counter in his boxers eating dry cereal from its box at 3 in the morning. Coming from a big family sort of numbed you from social norms such as what is deemed “normal” within a kitchen.

So why does he choke on his own spit when he walks in on Keith dancing to the radio?

The two of them had been dating for three years now, almost four in a month or so. Just recently they graduated from college and Lance had insisted they stay at his place until they can afford an apartment together. Keith agreed wholeheartedly.

As much as people refused to believe it, Lance’s mother got along very well with his boyfriend. In fact, it seemed the family had grown onto the man like a rash, and Keith loved it. It was nice to see the ravenette so happy with a family of his own.

However, times like this made Lance want to cry.

Keith usually gets up before Lance every morning, he was a morning person whereas Lance was a night owl. Although, recently the ravenette had been getting up later and later, which was really good because of the man’s insomnia.

Today had been no different, Lance woke up at around ten in the morning to a slightly warm dip in the mattress at his side and no boyfriend. So, he pulled on a shirt quickly before hopping down the steps, telling himself he’d do his skin care later. What he found was enough to make his breathing stop.

Because standing in the middle of the kitchen, shuffling across the floor with one of Lance’s baby cousins on his hip, was Keith fucking Kogane. To make matters worse, he was helping his mother clean the counters, laughing as both swayed their hips to the beat.

Now, Lance McClain had figured after dating the same person for such a long time, his head-over-heels crush would fade away to a more serene love. However, after waking up to his boyfriend’s face and getting to see him at his most vulnerable, he fell even deeper.

This was one of those moments, the buzzing throb in his chest escalating to where he could feel his heart swell in his troat. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t swallow. All because his boyfriend was holding a baby, a baby that looked like Lance, and was dancing in his kitchen.

“Oh! Buenos días hijo!” His mother greeted, looking up from behind her curly hair. Her apron clad form swayed over from her previous position, a big smile on her lips as she swooped him up in a big hug.

“Buenos días, mamá” He chuckled, wiggling within his mother’s strong grip. Keith looked over from where he was dancing, a huge smile on his face as some Spanish song played in the room. It really wasn’t fair that both his baby cousin and his boyfriend called out “Lance!” at the exact same time, and with the same exact adorable facial expression.

He was going to die.

“Él va a ser un buen esposo, ¿no?” His mother crooned within his ear, making his cheeks flush and his body tense. Thankfully Keith hadn’t learned a lot of Spanish yet.

“¡Mamá! ¡No arruines la sorpresa!” Lance yelped, electing a chuckle from the joyous woman. A quick glance towards the ravenette proved he hadn’t understood a single word, instead making faces at baby Iván.

He was in the middle of sticking his tongue out when he turned around, glancing between mother and son skeptically. “What?”

“Nothing, mamá was just telling me about how well you clean” Lance chuckled nervously, letting out a breath when the man turned back around, playing with the baby’s hands.

“Don’t worry, I know he will say yes” Lance’s mother whispered, rubbing circles against his back soothingly. It was for the most part reassuring, but nerves still ate away at his resolve. The little box within his pocket that he’d been carrying around for weeks seemed to burn through his clothes.

When Keith let out a loud and proud laugh as Iván whimpered a small “Keef”, and he looked at Lance with a huge smile. When his eyes crinkled in their corners with pride and happiness. When his expression softened upon looked at his soon to be fiancé. Lance knew he would be fine.

“I sure hope so..”

//////////

I hope my Spanish was okay, I’m on my third year of learning the language but I’m not all that confident yet.

“Buenos días, mamá/hijo”- (Good morning, mom/son)

“Él va a ser un buen esposo, ¿no?”- (He’s going to make a good husband, no?)

“¡Mamá! ¡No arruines la sorpresa!”- (Mom! Don’t spoil the surprise!)

general li mulan

okay so i LOVE mulan okay. as far as i’m concerned it’s a Perfect Movie and doesn’t need any fixing. but i was thinking today and -

- what if mulan didn’t go to war to save her father?

say her father is dead, okay, killed by the previous war. so she’s raised by her mother and grandmother, women who’s complacency and softness has been worn away by necessity. she needs to marry well, for her family’s sake, because her mother has refused the hand of every man who offered. but mulan is even more rough around the edges than before, is educated not only in books (her mother said men wouldn’t find smarts attractive and grandmother pointed out that men aren’t always around and off to school mulan went) but in the sword too, taught to her by her classmate, ping.

mulan is considered in the lower end of the upper class, coming from a family of military men and scholars and successful merchants. ping is near the top, the son or nephew of an advisor to the emperor. his family is very rich and very important, and the reason they become friends is because mulan manages to notice something about him that he’s been hiding from everyone else - he’s going blind.

not totally blind, enough to get around, but blind enough that reading is difficult and swordplay is even worse, although once he has it down he has it. ping is no fool, he’s not weak or bumbling. his eyes just don’t work. so mulan notices and confronts him about it. she promises to keep it a secret, and hey, she’ll even help him with his assignments by reading the books out loud and helping him study. but in return he must teach her the sword, must teach her about military and tactics. he agrees.

ping and mulan become very good friends and there’s some raised eyebrows about it but they are TOO far away in class for it to be inappropriate, so they make tutting sounds and disapproving faces and let it go.

then the draft happens. ping can’t go to war, he won’t survive it. not with his eyesight like it is. so mulan offers him a deal - she’ll go to war for him, in his place. in return, if she survives, he must marry her. if she dies he must take care of her family.

ping can’t make this kind of family decision on his own, so he goes to his mother and tells her everything, about the eyesight and how he’ll die if he goes and mulan’s offer. his mother says he must keep it a secret from his father, but agrees - if mulan fights in her son’s place and survives, a wedding will be arranged. either way, mulan’s family will be taken care of. ping will be sent to live with some cousins in the meanwhile.

“you’re not in love with me, are you?” ping asks, helping mulan saddle her horse in the middle of the night. she scoffs and rolls her eyes, “not even a little. but marrying you will make my family happy, and besides, you’re my best friend,” she says, smiling, “better you than some grabby old man.” he smiles and hugs her and says, “i’m not in love with you either. but don’t die out there. we have a wedding to plan.”

so mulan goes to the camp, pretending to be ping, and she’s a little bit less lost but things still go as they go. she’s educated and trained, so it’s not hard for her to pass as ping. shang is keeping a special eye on her, thinking that she’s the son of an advisor, one of his father’s friends. and he sees how easily she excels, how quick thinking and smart she is, and starts giving her more and more responsibilities. by the time they’re called out, shang considers ping ie mulan to be his right hand man, and possibly his best friend.

he’s also a little bit in love with ping, and he’s long known he’s attracted to both genders, so he watches ping laugh and smile and the crease between his eyes when he frowns and does his best to let his feelings chase away the best soldier he has. every time shang looks at ping his heart clenches and he things to himself: i wish i could have you, i wish this was a time and a place where one man could have another, i wish you were a girl, is wish i was a girl - i wish we could be together. he’s literally a step away from doodling ‘li ping’ with little hearts over his battle plans. 

so the battles happen. shang and ping lead their men together, respected and loved. they each get promoted, and promoted, and promoted. it’s been years, and it comes to a point where they’re both generals in their own right. they trust each other, care for each other. and are both secretly in love with the other.

mulan is so conflicted. because she wants this war to end and to go home and settle back into life and become ping’s wife, so she can have an easy life spent studying and learning with her family taken care of. that’s what she’d wanted. but now what she wants is shang, her best friend, her brother in arms, her fellow general. she wishes to be everything to him, aches to be the woman on his arm and in his bed, but knows it’s the one thing she can never be.

then that final battle happens. mulan’s quick thinking saves them all and ends the war - but she’s injured.

shang finds out the ping has been a girl all along. he demands explanations - so she tells him everything, that she traded places with ping to save him, to become his wife.

and the lies should sting the sharpest, but they don’t. she’s still the same person, after all. it’s that she’s promised to another man, for one second he’d thought he might have her, but no. so he agrees not to reveal her but he’s furious and furious at himself for being furious and they’re not the same now, broken and splintered and neither of them know what to do.

the war is over. they leave. mulan returns home, and thanks to her ping is now known as a respected general. she’s done her part and survived, and now she gets her reward - ping’s hand in marriage.

but she sees ping for the first time and flings herself into his arms and starts crying. she tells him everything, because he’s still her friend, her very best friend besides shang, the man whom she lied to and betrayed and loves. and ping listens and takes her by the shoulders and says - i’ll uphold our bargain, if that’s what you want. you can be my pampered wife, you’ve more than earned it. but if you want to go to shang, i won’t blame you. you deserve your happiness.

and mulan goes back and forth, but ultimately she decides she has to try. if shang rejects her she’ll return and marry ping and uphold her family honor. but if shang wants her - he’s not as high up as ping, but he’s high up enough to satisfy her family, and also she would love him and want him if he was no more than a farming peasant so it doesn’t matter much anyway.

she rides to the capitol. she finally meets ping’s father, running into him while looking for shang. “ah mulan,” says this man who was never supposed to know of her until she became his daughter-in-law, “i didn’t expect to see you here. how fortuitous. walk with me.” she does, wary, and that’s how she discovers - he and the emperor had discovered her deception a year in, but at that point she’d already proven herself too skilled and valuable to lose. he tells her that he will uphold his son and wife’s deal and gladly welcome her to his household - but that she’s earned her rank as general, and that he and the emperor have no problem with letting her keep it.

she says thank you, shocked and joyful, but that she has to talk to someone first. “ah, yes, young general li,” he says, eyes twinkling, “i do believe he’s around here somewhere.”

she has no idea how he seems to know everything, but she finally tracks down shang who’s ecstatic to see her and hates himself for it. she confesses - says she loves him, that she’s engaged to ping but willing and able to break this engagement for shang. who is dumbfounded and elated and says yes, of course, finally and forever.

and mulan accepts her rank and marries shang, and they become the literal power battle couple of the general li mulan and general li shang. ping becomes a scholar and marries a very nice young woman who loves reading and is happy to read aloud to her husband with his failing eyes.

and they all live happily ever after.

7

GUESS WHO FINALLY FINISHED ALL OF THESE REFS! The actual project that these were used for should be done in a week or two if all goes well, so keep an eye out for that.

“I know how to play a few on a guitar,” Keith offered. “I don’t own one, though.”

Shiro could see it. Keith, sitting in a corner or a bench somewhere, the roughened pads of his fingers on the taut strings. Maybe he didn’t sing, but did he hum?

“…Something on my hands?”

“Hm? I was just thinking you can see the callouses–” he reached for Keith’s hand, cupping it in his palm so he could see them better. “Your fingers are hard, right at the places where they’d meet the strings.”

The motion had been so easy that it took the soft hush for him to realize what he’d done. Keith’s hand was warm in his own, fitting so easily like it was only natural to be there.

I recently read this lovely pre-Kerberos fic by @pepperpaprika and felt compelled to draw this scene ♥

10

Sirius and Lupin had given Harry a set of excellent books entitled Practical Defensive Magic and its Use Against the Dark Arts, which had superb, moving color illustrations of all the counterjinxes and hexes it described. Harry flicked through the first volume eagerly; he could see it was going to be highly useful in his plans for the D.A.

this comes from my very staunch headcanon that remus broke sirius out of grimmauld place at least once

5

[ insp ]

redraw of one of my fav scenes from the new star episodes! and like,,, they rlly, they rlly actually made me love tom somehow??? which is,,, rlly fucking bizarre??? but whatever, just take my redraw

10

ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵒˢᵉ ʷʰᵒ ᵖʳᵒᵛᵉ ʷᵒʳᵗʰʸ, ᴾᵃʳᵃᵈᶦˢᵉ ᵃʷᵃᶦᵗˢ⋅⋅⋅ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵒˢᵉ ʷʰᵒ ᵖʳᵒᵛᵉ ᶠᵃᶫˢᵉ, ᵇᵉʰᵒᶫᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵍʳᶦᵐ ᶠᵃᵗᵉ⋅
                         UNCHARTED 4, MAY 10 [1 Year Anniversary]

10

Can’t I just stay in here with you forever? Can I? You can.