So I failed. I had a goal, and I tried really freaking hard, and I failed.
Then if felt like everyone was waiting to see if I would get back up, dust myself off and try again….so I did. And I failed again. Then I tried again, and failed. And so on and so forth until here we are.
No this isn’t one of those motivational stories of the comeback or the underdog or overcoming obstacles. It’s just about failing. And going right on ahead with living.
I guess the huge thing for me has always been that image or story of If you just keep trying and working hard then no matter what, you will do it! You will reach your goal! You will win the game!
Well the truth is, that’s not totally accurate. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the comeback stories and I can definitely appreciate the occasional motivational quote/poster/video/haiku but the reality of life is that sometimes you don’t reach your goal. Where I have always mislead myself is the idea that not reaching my goal makes me a failure.
See in my mind, I was the comeback story. I was that motivational quote brought to life everyday in the gym. In my mind, it was all me and it was gonna happen. No matter what. But what I didn’t account for was that failing to reach my goal [of going to the CrossFit Games] again and again was me just living my life….successfully.
Yeah in the 5 years I was failing, I managed to meet and fall in love with my (now) husband and two daughters, move back home near my entire family, become an experienced and respected trainer who gets flown around the country and world to teach CrossFit, grow my brand as an ambassador to the sport I love, and meet countless individuals who share my passion for helping others.
In the time I’ve been failing I got to be maid of honor in one of my best friend’s wedding, I was able to hold both my cousins’ newborns in my arms, I watched my best friend Becca become a CrossFit legend, and I got to hear my grandpa sing “k-k-k-Katie” one last time before he passed away.
I’ve volunteered in my stepdaughters’ classes, stayed up late working on school projects, been to every Back-to-School-Night, Open House, music show. I’ve read to them almost every night, taken care of them when they were sick, fixed them when they’ve gotten hurt, and held their hands to walk them into school.
I started a new CrossFit class at Valley CrossFit from nothing and grew it to 40+people strong five days a week.
I’ve had my CrossFit training partners and clients become my lifelong friends.
I planned my (ridiculously awesome) wedding and enjoyed every second of it.
I trained alongside and became close friends with some of the best athletes in the world.
And I had to say some hard goodbyes to friends - some who I can still go and visit, others who are gone forever.
So in all the time I spent focusing on my goal and failing to reach it, I totally succeeded in making my life pretty spectacular.
If there’s one message I can pass along it would be that it’s ok to lose and it’s ok to fail. I’m not a failure. I’m not a quitter. I never once quit. I worked my ass off for 5years and never got back to the CrossFit Games. I mean, statistically I got further away really, but what I didn’t realize was how amazing my life became in spite of, no, because of my failing to reach that goal.
Sometimes the best stuff really isn’t found in the end result, but with the path you take to get there.