whatever i made a thing

Bitty’s Southern

Bitty is a southern boy and as a southern girl let me tell you there are things he does that make the rest of SMH go “Ummm….what?” 

  • He says stuff that makes literal ZERO sense to the rest of the team. Mostly southern phrases etc. LIKE, “That boy is about of useless as tits on a bull.” or  if it’s raining but the sun is out Bits just says, “Devil must be beatin’ his wife.”  Everyone is confused as shit.
  • “Oh my goodness I want Chick-fil-a. BUT IT’S SUNDAY.”
  • Holster going,” Hey Bits can you hand me a coke?” and Bitty responding with, “Sure, which kind do you want? We’ve got sprite, mtn dew, dr. pepper…” BC in the south every soda is a coke.
  • “Y’all know what I miss the most about Georgia? Cheerwine. And Duke’s Mayo. You northerners keep using that hellman’s stuff or miracle whip and let me tell you. IT. IS .NOT. MAYONNAISE.”
  • “IT’S SO HOT! Summer is the WORST” “Ransom, It’s like, 70 degrees. It gets up to like 115+ in Georgia. And it’s not even humid! You hush your mouth.”
  • The first time Bitty goes to Stop & Shop with one of the guys from SMH he tells them to grab a buggy on their way in and said member stares at him for a second, “What’s a buggy?” “Oh for goodness sake. A shopping cart! We need a shopping cart!”
  • Bitty’s drunk at a kegster when he suddenly shouts, “WHO WANTS TO PLAY CORNHOLE?!” 
  • It’s New Years so of course Bitty’s making black eyed peas, collards, cornbread, ham, and a pineapple upside down cake. “It’s for luck.”
  • Bitty will be checking Facebook and be like, “Oh bless his heart.” Chowder notices him fretting over the phone so he asks what’s up “Oh it’s just one of my friend from high school’s dad.” and Chowder, being the precious person that he is, responds with, “Oh no. What happened? Is he ok?” Bitty just shakes his head, “He’s done went and fell out of the deer stand. Again. Broke his arm and bruised his pride. You think he would’ve learned his lesson after the same thing happened last huntin’ season”
  • Jack’s all dressed up in a suit or something, he has a meeting with the Falcs, “What are you all gussied up for?”
  • “Look at what all I got up at the outlet mall!!”
  • Rans/Holster/Bitty share a bathroom so I reckon this has happened at least once: “Neither of y’all go in the bathroom! I’m fixin’ to shower”  to which Holster responds, “What was that Bits? What are you fixing?” Bitty hollers from his room, arm full of clothes, “I’m fixin’ to shower!” Ransom chimes in, “I didn’t know the shower was broken!” At this point Bitty is getting frustrated,“Oh for the love of Pete! You Yankees.” He speaks slowly and pronounces each word carefully, “I am going to go take a shower so please do not go and hog the bathroom.”
  • “So I was talking to Momma and APPARENTLY Mrs. Jones, the one that lives down the road, was rude as all get out.” “Really? What’d she do?” Bitty just throws his hands up, “Momma and Coach were drivin’ back to the house and Mrs. Jones was driving in the opposite direction so of course Momma waves at her. AND SHE DIDN’T WAVE BACK.”
  • I know for a FACT that at some point Bits makes a pitcher of sweet tea, puts it in the fridge, and the boys/Lardo finds it. “What’s this?” “Oh, it’s just some tea. You want some?” So Bitty pours them a glass and approximately 2 seconds later “WHAT IS THIS? IT’S LIKE SYRUP! Bits this isn’t tea! It’s diabetes in a cup!”
  • “Just rub some bacon grease on it.”
  • “Don’t you dare pour that coffee out! I can use it for gravy!”
  • “You know what food I miss? Fried pickles. No, wait, HUSHPUPPIES. I’d kill for some right now.”

((I don’t know if this has been done, so if it has please tell me.))

So I’ve seen a lot of those ‘Humans are Space Orcs’ posts and I think those are really cool, but unnoticed they all consist of one thing: humans traveling with the aliens.

So there are a lot of ways you can do that, right? You could go all Star Trek and make it to where the humans and aliens all live together in harmony and travel space together and things like that. But I have a different idea and I think it’s pretty cool.

So humans don’t really know aliens exist. Obviously you have your conspiracy theorists and loons and the occasional 'abducted’ person, but for the most part it’s just generally accepted that aliens are fun and all, but they’re not /real/.

And then there’s this kid. He/she/they don’t really have a happy life, but they can’t really do anything about it. You can make them whatever you want, have any or of disorder or disability or just make them an angsty teen that comes from an unhappy home. They want to leave, but they’re too young, so they have to stay.

Then of course, the aliens come. But instead of crap like Independence Day (I say crap in a loving way, the movie was pretty good and I like it), the aliens just take one look at the kid, pick them up, and leave. That’s it. Nothing else. Just take the kid and go.

Of course the kid is terrified at first, but after like the first day or so they calm down because the aliens are treating them like gosh-darn royalty. They put the kid up in the nicest room on the ship, give them the best food they can muster from their rations, and provide for any kind of entertainment the kid might want. It’s like paradise, and the kid is happier than they’ve been in a while.

So the kid travels with these aliens on all sorts of cool adventures and throughout this period is when we get the 'Humans are Space Orcs’ discoveries. Like the kid will go up to random giant furry beasts and just glomp them and coo at them while the aliens are like “No that’s deadly it will kill you oh my god what is this kid doing?!?!” Or, if the kid has a uterus, come time for their period the aliens freak out because “Oh holy shmarda, the child is bleeding!! Why is the child bleeding?!” Hilarious antics and shenanigans ensue and the child is so happy with their new life that they never want to go back home.

Also included: drama when the aliens return to earth to find a human companion for the child (even though they didn’t ask for one you guys don’t have to do this really it’s fine) and the parents of the kid demand they be returned immediately. The kid doesn’t want to go back of course so the aliens have to fight for custody over the kid in court (I guess idk but something along those lines. Maybe the humans try to kill the aliens because the kid was “abducted” and that causes a lot of angst and problems.).

Idk just something that’s been floating about in my imagination for a while. I think it would be a really cool show though tbh like someone hire me.

dan is a good and lovely person pass it on

More Cute Sickfic Things

• Imagine wonderful Character A supporting the feverish Character B’s rambles, saying things like “yes, of course” and “wait until you get better and then we can pet the all the dogs in the park”

• An utterly delirious Character A who starts crying at the thought of little baby birds that fall out of nests, and Character B trying to placate them. Bonus points if it’s the character that is usually so stoic and serious

• Feverish Character B falls asleep in random places either because it’s cold or cosy, and Character B finds them, eyes fond, yet brows knit in worry at Character A sleeping on the bathroom floor with the giant teddy bear

• Dehydrated Character B complains of a headache and Character A gives them a pill (when in actuality they need to down a glass of water or two) only to realise that their mouth is dry and immediately begins to fuss

• When dehydrated Character B refuses to go to hospital or drink that icky stuff, so Character A goes crazy and buys 1263 juice packs and forces them to drink it under their stern gaze

• Character B being a blanket hog when sick and Character A waking up to complain, only to find them unnaturally warm and looking utterly adorable wrapped up like a little burrito

• Something bad happens and Character B screams and cries, only to have Character A hold them and try to calm them down, but cry so much that they throw up and have to be looked after

• Character A is really lonely and buys a kitten and Character B tries not to sneeze or sniffle as they’re allergic and because they don’t want to make Character A feel guilty

• When Character A is caught out with a fever and cannot walk straight so Character B huffily gives them a piggy back ride and finds themselves enjoying having Character A so close

• Character A being a celebrity and rushing out of a talk show, saying that their significant other, Character B, is much more important and hastens to look after them

• Sick Character B being self-conscious about how they look when they’re sick and Character A holding their chin and saying that Character A never looked lovelier and that they will love them regardless of how they look when sick

• Character B feeling guilty about throwing up/crying/snotting all over Character A and apologising, while Character A soothes them saying that they’re health is more important

• When feverish and exhausted Character B just collapses into Character A’s arms, head lolling on their shoulder as Character A hauls them, whilst tutting, off to bed

10

That world, and the people inhabiting it, was a reflection of your own desires. What might have been if Komaeda Nagito lacked his good fortune and led a quiet, uneventful life.

Going Grimdark and Inversion

Let me be upfront when I say that, as far as I know, there has only ever been one example of a character going Grimdark in Homestuck: Rose Lalonde. Jade’s brief time spent as Grimbark!Jade is not the same since her shift was caused by Her Imperious Condescension’s mind-control, not the Horrorterrors. The Horrorterrors are the key to becoming Grimdark, and as Rose displayed, they don’t control you; they invert your aspect.

Aspect inversion is a tricky subject. How the aspects invert is fairly simple - each aspect has an opposite, after all:

Breath - Blood

Light - Void

Time - Space

Life - Doom

Heart - Mind

Hope - Rage

But class inversion is harder to pin down. There is the Passive-Active dichotomy that Calliope discussed with Dirk (Prince is active while Bard is passive), but this is not an inversion. Inverting someone’s class would require finding the class that acts as its direct opposite. As such, I will be using @classpect-shet​‘s Class Inversion Guide, which can be found here. The inversions of classes are as follows:

Heir - Mage

Seer - Witch

Knight - Rogue

Page - Thief 

Maid - Bard

Sylph - Prince

For example, if I were to go Grimdark, I would go from being a Knight of Rage to a Rogue of Hope: one who distributes inspiration and positive emotions through inspiration and positive emotions. A Mage of Space would become an Heir of Time. Et cetera. When Rose went Grimdark and succumbed to the Horrorterrors, she became a Witch of Void: one who manipulates nothingness and ignorance through nothingness and ignorance. The meaning of her words were concealed to the point where no one could understand what she was trying to say. In other words, manipulating her secrets to make others ignorant. She managed to obfuscate the troll’s viewport of her and those who she was near, creating a Blackout. Vriska said as much when she tried contacting John after their encounter with Jack on the Battlefield when she advised him to get away from Rose so she could see him.

Unlike Trickster Mode - which is incredibly unlikely to occur even with a Cherub influence in their session - going Grimdark is a very real possibility for a session so long as players (probably Derse-dreamer) have a connection to the Horrorterrors. How one would turn it off is a matter of debate. Rose only returned to being a Seer of Light when she died, so there’s no way of knowing if it can even be stopped aside from death.

So yeah! Grimdark! I’m not sure how to end this, so I’ll just add a badass picture of Grimdark!Rose

  • Isak: Making my way downtown walking fast
  • Emma: Oh hey, Isak!
  • Isak: Fucking sprinting

Friendly reminder that both Petra and Rafael came from messed up, basically emotionally abusive families, for awhile they both thought their looks was the only way to get what they wanted and they have since both learned they’re smart and capable, they were genuinely in love at a point before the show started, they run a business together (or did @Luisa), they suffered through a late term miscarriage and Rafael’s cancer together, they both scheme and have done shady things, there’s the whole long lost sibling/criminal sisters thing, Petra never knew her father/Rafael never really knew his adoptive mother, and the list goes on…they’re not perfect but there’s more to their connection than the twins #justsaying.

every single mcr album character is adopted by me. the killjoys? gracie? cherri and blue and the whole comics crew? the patient? fear and regret? colton haynes and his ghostly gf? even mother war herself? emily? bonnie and clyde? helena the corpse bride? even the unnamed bullets people?? all my kids, they deserve some attention. my city now.

8

Sans is great at puns and all, but we all know Papyrus is the Pun master… (forgive me)

That man was once a king,
Until he lost everything.

No matter what they’re into, no matter what they hate, what they love, what their religion is, what their race is, what their sex is, whatever, they’re all there because they’re vibing off this one thing I made. And that’s why it was always about stadiums to me.. to get a hundred thousand people in one place, not fighting about nothing.. everybody laughing, everybody throwing their arms in the air with their girlfriends on their shoulders and like, best mates wrapped around them, you know?
—  Van McCann