Hey Fellas Gimme A Hand

im writing a paper about special interests for my psych class & i wanted to put out a survey to help get more info since it can be hard to find sources from actual autistic people!

here is the link!!!

the only requirements to take the survey are that u are autistic & have past or present experience with special interests. self-diagnosed is fine. there is more info in the description of the survey. there are 15 long answer questions but actual long answers arent required, theyre just there to give u space

please spread this around if ur comfortable doing so even if u arent taking the survey so i can get as many responses as possible!! thank u !!!!!!!

so some of my family members just had a discussion suspecting one of my uncles might be gay (he’s 30 yr old but was never interested in dating girls and has shown no desire to get married). Many of my close relatives expressed their feelings that they are not going to support or even admit him if it turns out to be true. And they are normally really nice and kind people that I respect and love, but can’t understand this time.

I spent three hours trying to change their minds; However little went through their heads. I’m kinda afraid that if this turns out to be true (tbh I kinda realized he might be gay 7 years ago…), the only one that will support my uncle in the family will be me.

…I’ve never done this cuz I always thought this is silly but…

I came here for help. Would you guys show some support? Even if you don’t want to reblog this, liking this post will be enough. …If that time does come and he decides to come out (even as asexual), I want to show him that he should be proud of himself and there are people all over the world support him in being himself and living his life proudly. And sorry for my broken English… I have so much going on in my mind rn I don’t even know how to type. :(..

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

anonymous asked:

So, ive been reading your fanfics for a while, and i wanna start writing my own!! Do you have any tips/tricks/advice for me???

Keep in mind I’m not the best with advice. Feel free to use or ignore any of these. I have not studied how to write. I just took the normal classes in high school and kinda looked around the internet for some stuff. I’m not claiming to know how to write the best, so please understand that before reading. I’m just going to say things that have helped me (or things that haven’t helped me). Please let that be a warning before we begin. 

Write a lot. Practice practice practice! The best way to get better is to write!

Also, reading helps too. Read a lot and read different types of things. It will help out by giving your story some diversity compared to other stories. 

Don’t post your first draft. Always edit if you want it to come out better. Rarely does someone write the perfect chapter without going back and editing a single thing. I like to do a read through for editing, then a separate one for proofreading. You don’t have to do two, but at least go back and edit once. It will help. 

Rewriting your chapter. It’s a pain in the ass and takes longer, but when you rewrite a chapter it’s usually better. Always save a copy of your original version in case you decide you wanted the first scene more, that way you don’t have to try to figure out what you put in the beginning. I’ve rewritten chapters before and they’ve always turned out better and longer. I put more details in and saw where some parts were lacking. Plus it helps with making sure the chapter flows. 

Flowing. Make sure your chapter comes across fluidly and not choppy. Make sure the scenes blend well together and if you’re going to cut to another scene please remember to put in a line break. It’s very confusing to read a story and it skip to another scene with no warning. One minute they were in the hot tub then the next they’re waiting in line at the movie theater? Doesn’t flow well. Make sure when you’re editing that it goes well together. 

If you’re bored with it, chances are your readers are going to be bored with it. I know some scenes are more tedious to write than others and you want to just skip to the good parts but you need to put in certain information before you get to those parts. Sometimes I’ll write the better parts, then go back and try to make it connect. (flowing) The best thing to do is just summarize that part and move on, and then when you’re editing it make it jazzier. Just make the scene more interesting by either cutting it shorter so you don’t lose the reader’s attention or change the scene to… well, make it more interesting? I’m sorry if that’s not helpful. When I have to write a dull part where I need to add information I try to find a way to present the information in a more entertaining way. 

Don’t rely too much on dialogue. What I mean by that is when it’s talking about a major part of the story, try to foreshadow up to that part and add non-dialogue scenes that reveal pieces of it. For example, in one of my stories I have the main character suffering from trauma he experienced when he was sexually assaulted. I started with small details like he would tense when someone touched his shoulder, or he didn’t want to be touched. Of course when it came to actually revealing about it it was in dialogue, but by that point there were so many clues that not a lot of people were surprised by what happened, but still surprised enough with how it came to be. 

Adverbs. I’ve had people tell me I’m using too many adverbs, and yeah, I can see that. Sometimes you can replace that word with a strong verb, but sometimes you can’t. It’s okay to have adverbs, just try not to have too much. Like, I’ve used “he shrugged nonchalantly.” Technically (adverb haha) shrugging is already pretty nonchalant. I didn’t need to add that last part. Another example would be ‘he said softly’. I can replace that with ‘he whispered’. However, sometimes there’s not a way to get rid of that adverb without making your sentence too long and too clunky. I think it’s impossible to get rid of all adverbs, but that might just be me. If someone’s able to write an interesting story with using absolutely (adverb haha) none, more power to them. That’s not me. I’ve heard the goal is to have 5 or so percent of your story be adverbs and no more. If you can get down to that, great. If not, don’t beat yourself up. As long as you don’t use them too loosely (adverb haha) I think it’ll be okay. 

Try not to use the same verb in one sentence/paragraph more than once. If I used the word ‘look’, I’m going to try to use another word when I need to say ‘look’ again. I’ll use words like searched, glanced, eyes flitted, etc. I’m not saying it’ll be bad if you use the same verb more than once, but for me, it breaks me out of the story when I see the same verb being used too much. 

Show not tell. This is a tricky one, because sometimes it’s better to just tell us instead of show us. I usually (adverb haha) turn some ‘tells’ into ‘shows’ when I’m in the editing phase. Showing is better for your imagination, but if you ‘show’ us too much it might just be a lot of details that you don’t need. I’m still trying to find the happy medium for this concept, but there’s a lot of advice out there for how to show and not tell, or when it’s the best time to use either. 

Details. Okay, so this is more of a personal opinion of mine. I don’t care too much about what someone wears or what their house looks like, etc. It’s good to get a vague idea if it’s needed, but if it’s not, don’t bother with it. I don’t need to know what the character is wearing every single chapter/day. As long as they’re wearing clothes I’m good. If it’s specific to the plot that’s another story, but if the character is just going grocery shopping I don’t need to know that she wore her American Eagle jeans and brought her Coach purse and wore her Oakley sunglasses. I also don’t need details like that either unless it needs to be said. Honestly? I kinda zone out if there’s too much detail about a room/weather/clothes, etc. I don’t need a lot of details because then I have to think too much while reading and I get stuck on those parts trying to imagine it and it limits what I can freely (adverb haha) imagine in my head. Like if I said she was wearing a black dress and ended it there, you can imagine it however you want. I can add some details of course, like it was above the knee or strapless, maybe even that it had lace, but I personally (adverb haha) don’t care about every detail of the dress because I just want to read the story. 

When editing, I suggest this simple trick. Change the size and font of your chapter, then go through and edit it. You’ll be more focused on trying to read it because your brain won’t be able to skip right over stuff even though you know what’s going to happen next. I’ve caught so many mistakes this way, most of them being simple ones too. I always write in ‘Calibri’ size ‘11′, but when I edit and proofread I do ‘Times New Roman’ and size ‘13′. It’s easy and it helps.  

Please please please use proper punctuation and capitalization. I know some people like to write their entire story/chapter in lower case, but it’s a pain (for me) to read. Some people may love that, but I would much rather read something where everything’s how it’s supposed to be. If you want to write in lower case, have at it. It’s your story, and that’s your choice. I’m just saying I wouldn’t suggest it. 

Let your readers know if you accept constructive criticism or not. I do, and I let people know that I do. Some people don’t, and that’s fine. Just make sure you make a note of it so no one tries to give you suggestions. Honestly, (adverb haha) it’s probably (adverb haha- Okay, that’s the last one I’ll point out, just wanted to show how often adverbs get used.) going to happen anyways. Some people don’t listen or don’t even read author’s notes, so if it happens then ignore it unless you decide you want to give what they said a shot. 

If you do take constructive criticism, know that you don’t have to listen to all of it. It’s good to think about every suggestion, but you aren’t obligated to follow it. I’ve had people tell me the pacing is too fast or too slow, and I’ll think about it, but then I’ll decide for myself what I think. (Or I’ll ask a trusted friend what their opinion is and go from there) Some advice you get will hinder your writing, but some will enhance it. If you get a beta that’s cool too. But realize that if you go that route you’ll be working with their schedule too, so keep that in mind before getting a beta. 

Speaking of schedules, I do not suggest making an updating schedule. I’ve had countless people ask me what my updating schedule is, but it’s not gonna make me change my mind. Making an updating schedule adds stress. Some stress is good, but too much is damaging. If you already have a decent amount of chapters stored up then first of all, good for you, second of all, then it’s okay to make a short updating schedule. Like say, “I’ll be updating every Saturday for five weeks, then we’ll see how it goes” or something like that, but don’t commit to an updating schedule unless you want the added stress. As a reader I would love if every story had an updating schedule and stuck with it, but as a writer I know how hard that is. The only times I’ve ever been able to keep up with an updating schedule is when I wrote the story in advance and had it finished before I even posted chapter one. That’s the only time for me. If you’re able to make an updating schedule and stick with it then you deserve a lot of kudos! I can’t do it, so I don’t suggest it, but if you’re up to the challenge then by all means, go for it. It’s your story after all. 

Setting goals. Setting goals is a powerful tool to use. It can help you stay on track and you can feel better when you meet those goals, but also remember not to beat yourself up if you don’t make it. Your goals don’t define you. Sometimes we meet the goals on time, sometimes we finish them early, and sometimes we’re days/weeks/months/years late. That’s okay. It’s not a race. Just because you don’t make a goal doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. Just take a moment to reflect on it, then get right back to it. I haven’t reached a lot of my goals when it comes to writing (and in real life) but that doesn’t mean I’m a failure. Just keep on moving forward, even if it’s not at the pace you’d like to see yourself at. 

Research. It can help so much! Make sure the source is good of course. Some websites are full of shit, but some are rich in knowledge. I’ve used the internet, real life experiences, and talking with people as research before. (I mean hell, I drank boiled rain water just to see how it would taste/feel like for a story) If you’re writing about mental hospitals, do a lot of research! If you’re writing about a couple having dinner at home and one of them is cooking and you say they put the raw 10lb ham in the oven then thirty minutes later it was done, that’s not gonna fly. They’re gonna get sick and then you’ll have to write about their hospital visit. Make sure you do your research! It can help!

Trigger warnings. If your story has some triggering content, put a warning. It’s not fair to put a warning at the end of the chapter, after someone’s already read the chapter. I know it can spoil what happens, but come on! Some things need warnings. If there’s suicidal thoughts or any type of abuse, let us know in advance so we can either prepare ourselves or leave the story. Or sometimes the person will skim it to get past that part. Just put a warning. It’s better for everyone in the long run. 

Speaking of people leaving the story, let them go. If someone chooses they don’t want to read anymore, don’t try to guilt them into staying. We all have such a limited time in this life. Don’t force someone to keep reading if they really don’t want to. On the same note, if you’re reading a story and decide you don’t want to read it anymore, don’t tell the author, or if you do, be gentle about it. It can be discouraging to hear someone leaving, so be kind about it or don’t say anything at all, especially if you haven’t been commenting on the other chapters. 

Also, it’s better to prepare for low feedback. That way if you get a lot it’s great, but if it’s a little it’s not as bad. I say that, but even I don’t 100% believe that. I’ve had some stories get less feedback than others and it is discouraging. There’s really no way around that, at least that I’ve found. I like to ask questions at the end of my chapters to engage the readers and hopefully get more responses, or… you could use cliffhangers. As a reader, I hate getting to cliffhangers, especially if the next chapter isn’t posted yet, but hey, it’s a good way to get reviews. Another thing I’ve noticed (not saying you have to do it at all, just something I’ve observed while posting) I get more reviews for angstier chapters than fluffy ones. Dunno if there’s a pattern there, but it’s something I’ve seen. Not suggesting you should write angsty stuff if you don’t want to, just mentioning it. Thought it was kinda funny, everyone kept demanding more fluff, then when I gave it to them half the people stopped reviewing? 

Dialogue! Now, this is tricky. You don’t want person A and person B to sound the same, so you need to give them some personality. For my characters that like literature more, I’ll have them say stuff like, “I should have gone sooner before they closed.” Or I’ll shorthand it and have them say, “I should’ve gone sooner before they closed.” But for characters that are more laid back, I’ll do stuff like, “Man, I shoulda gone before they closed.” Or someone saying ‘Kinda’ and another person saying ‘Kind of’. I observe how people talk and try to mimic that. Also, not every sentence has to be full. Sometimes in real life I’ll say stuff like, “Tired. Been working more hours than normal.” That’s more realistic than me saying, “I’m tired. I’ve been working more hours than normal.” Now, for some people the second one is realistic, for me it’s the first option. Know your characters and how they speak, it’ll help out a lot. 

Also, observe people in general. You can draw inspiration from normal conversations around you. You can also pick up certain mannerisms. Little details like ‘He played with the ends of his scarf when he was nervous’ or ‘His fist clenched as he listened to what she had to say’. Just small things like that help set a scene without adding too much detail. Plus, it helps break up dialogue. Too much dialogue without anything else happening can be bland. Also, too much narrative without any action/dialogue can be bland too. It’s all about finding that happy balance. 

I’ve heard that there’s no such thing as writer’s block, and I kinda believe it. The theory was if you hit a writer’s block what you actually did was write yourself into a corner that you can’t get out of. To fix it you need to go back and change the path. This could be going back a few sentences or paragraphs, sometimes half or more of a chapter. I hate to admit it, but when I hit a writer’s block I try that trick and it helps. I end up changing the path of the scene and it works out better. I’ve had to sacrifice so many words/time because of it, but hey, I progressed the story in the end, so that’s something. If you can work past that writer’s block without changing the path, that’s awesome, I’m just saying what’s worked for me before. 

Don’t update too often. I know that might sound weird, but it’s helpful. Give your readers time to build up anticipation, let them think about what they read and process it. It will also give more people time to review. Too often I’ve seen people read through all the chapters and only review the most current chapter. I understand why people do it, but it would be awesome if they reviewed every chapter. I’m not saying they have to, but I am saying you have better odds of getting more reviews if you wait a little bit before posting. It’ll also give you more time to work on the next chapter after that to build up a little stockpile of chapters. If you can help it, try not to update within a week. I think a week is a good amount of time to wait between chapters if you already have the next one finished. 

On that same note, don’t feel bad if it’s been longer since your last update. Real life happens. Sometimes documents get deleted on accident, sometimes you get scheduled more often at work and can’t write as much, or sometimes something happens that takes up all of your time. Don’t feel bad about not updating as often as you wanted to. Sure your readers will want an update, some might even demand one, but it’s your story and your life. Take care of yourself before attending to your reader’s needs. Real life comes first, you come first. End of story. Most websites have a ‘follow story’ option or something like it. If they want to read that badly they’ll subscribe or follow and wait for the updates. I know some people don’t have accounts, but if they’re interested in your story enough they’ll check on it periodically to see if there’s an update. Just focus on you first before your story/readers.

Write based on experiences. If you’ve hurt from laughing so hard, draw off those experiences if you’re making a character do that. If you’ve cried yourself to sleep, write based on that. Emotions are powerful things and sometimes hard to nail down, but if you write off your own emotions it can bring a scene to life. So next time you’re exhausted after a long day at work, thing about how your muscles feel, how your mind feels. Next time you hear/see something confusing, think about how your face changes. You can also write off other people’s experiences too. That goes along with the whole ‘observe people’ thing. Just write how it would feel, and it should start coming together better. 

Here’s something that helps. Wait a few days after finishing a chapter before editing it. It will give you time to forget some parts of your story and help you read it with fresher eyes. You can catch more mistakes that way and see how it would flow better if you change some scenes around. I use that trick and it definitely helps. 

Find a good place to write. My best writing happens when I’m on the couch, surrounded by throw blankets with two or more waters ready on my end table. Yours might be different, but whatever it is, try to find the best way for your to write. I personally can’t have any noise going on, some people have playlists they use for certain stories. Whatever works for you, do it!

There’s so much writing advice out there, I feel like I haven’t even scratched the surface. There’s stuff on keeping a character in character, how to write well developed relationships, how to build suspense, so much stuff. I have a sideblog where I reblog writing advice. Some helps, some I keep around just in case one day I could use it. It’s @fairytailandchill if you wanna check it out. There’s not a lot there, but it’s something to start with. 

If anyone else knows a helpful trick, please mention it. Once again, I don’t claim to know all. I can only tell you what has and hasn’t worked for me. I can tell you the best advice though. 

Have fun. Writing shouldn’t feel like a chore or homework. It’s something we do for fun. Sometimes we have to take a step back when it’s becoming too stressful, and that’s okay. Just make sure you’re having fun while you’re writing. It’s the best way to keep writing. Thank you for your ask. I hope this was helpful. :) Congratulations on wanting to write! I sincerely hope it makes you happy!

(Also, sorry if there’s any typos in here. I’m ironically not going to proofread this because I’m tired as fuck and need to go proofread my actual story lol)

“feminists” need to stop hating all men and making other women believe it’s okay to hate all men. Instead they should spread signs of an abusive man, or signs a man that could potentially be dangerous. Making women scared to exist because all men are filthy sex pigs who want to hurt women only fuels fear, not empowerment.

men are not evil. women are not angels. stop pushing a narrative that pushes society backwards under the title being progressive