anonymous asked:

hey holy fuck wanna form a squad with me

hi sure we can all wear matching leather jackets and have a secret handshake that u have to know in order to enter the squad so to outsiders we seem kind of bada** with our jackets and funky hand movements but once u join up we really just binge watch tv shows and movies while baking cookies and compliment each other’s hair

Submitted by @ thechaosqueen

I believe the phrase “oh fuck” is appropriate in this situation

“What’s that?” Human Deepti asks making some sort of gesture and looking towards the open computer screen. Her clothes and braided hair floated around her. This deck had a lower gravity setting so Oev'oep and hir people, the E'shyu could be more comfortable. It took a few moments for Oev’ to decode that she wanted hir to also look in the same direction.

Much to hir horror, the Human Behavioral Files were on screen, the title written in bolded letters.

“Nothing.” Oev’ said with emphasis, hir stripes involuntarily turning a greenish hue. “Just– reading up on some human based psychology, posted by humans from Terra.” Zhe quickly closed the files down.

After Humans developed their own form of space travel and showed interest in contacting other species for trade, word began to spread about the Humans strange biology and diverse pack bonding cultures. As always the Knauvruohloes were quick to research, record, and document. The most fascinating reports were posted: Humans cohabiting with other animals, the types of poisonous food Humans enjoy, and analyzing videos of Human movement (dancers, sports, babies you name it) are some of the most popular. But by some chance the website became popular… without the Humans finding out. Soon, reports began pouring in from all over, through many solar systems. One thing led to another and it somehow became the most widely known and best kept intergalactic secret in history.

Human Deepti gave Oev'oep a blank look. She used the wall behind her to dive for the computer, Oev’ too slow to stop her but by some miracle zhe was able to latch onto half of the computer.

“Oh come on, we’re friends. What is this really?” Deepti smiled, showing some of her teeth. Oev’ read about Humans superior strength due to the gravity on their Homeplanet, an E'shyu such as hirself would be no match but perhaps zhe could outsmart the human.

“Wait, please I’ll tell you everything, just–” Oev’ tugged the computer free and in the process knocked the Human backwards, she spun around in the air laughing as zhe made hir escape.

“Hey! Come back here!” Human Deepti called after Oev’

Oev’ successfully deleted hir browser history, keeping the secret for at least one more day.

Feel free to add more I honestly don’t know where to go with this but I was just thinking about how some of these posts imply that aliens are keeping track of weird things humans do and I was just wondering: do humans know?