As my tweet has exploded both on tumblr and twitter, I’m getting disturbed by how more than a few guys have responded by telling me that this tactic wouldn’t stop them, or that it would encourage them to hit on women more. It disturbs me because you recognize that this tweet is expressing the distaste that women have for being hit on, you see how much it resonates with us, and your response is “haha that won’t stop me”?
First, it’s not on US to stop you, my tweet was a joke, and it got picked up so much because other women understand the place the joke came from and it puts humor onto our experiences, but it’s not meant to be THE solution, the solution is on you guys to not harass women.
Secondly, if you recognize this as an expression of our frustration, and your first response is “haha, I don’t care”, or even worse “if you try to stop us, we’ll do it more”, then you really are a villain.
And thirdly, this shows that at least for the dudes responding like this, it really isn’t about social awkwardness, or them not knowing this bothers us, it shows that even if they know, they don’t care. Even if they get the message of “stop”, all they do is laugh and go “you’ll have to do better than that.”
This just illustrates how hitting on women is as much about power and control as it is about attraction or wanting a woman to date them, because even when they know we DON’T want to date them, even when they know this is bothering us, they don’t care. All they care about is inflicting their will on us, on doing what THEY want. And they throw the responsibility for their actions on us. It’s up to US to turn them off, not on them to stop when they know we’re not interested, and if they don’t feel like stopping, it’s our fault for not doing better to dissuade them.