As my tweet has exploded both on tumblr and twitter, I’m getting disturbed by how more than a few guys have responded by telling me that this tactic wouldn’t stop them, or that it would encourage them to hit on women more. It disturbs me because you recognize that this tweet is expressing the distaste that women have for being hit on, you see how much it resonates with us, and your response is “haha that won’t stop me”?
First, it’s not on US to stop you, my tweet was a joke, and it got picked up so much because other women understand the place the joke came from and it puts humor onto our experiences, but it’s not meant to be THE solution, the solution is on you guys to not harass women.
Secondly, if you recognize this as an expression of our frustration, and your first response is “haha, I don’t care”, or even worse “if you try to stop us, we’ll do it more”, then you really are a villain.
And thirdly, this shows that at least for the dudes responding like this, it really isn’t about social awkwardness, or them not knowing this bothers us, it shows that even if they know, they don’t care. Even if they get the message of “stop”, all they do is laugh and go “you’ll have to do better than that.”
This just illustrates how hitting on women is as much about power and control as it is about attraction or wanting a woman to date them, because even when they know we DON’T want to date them, even when they know this is bothering us, they don’t care. All they care about is inflicting their will on us, on doing what THEY want. And they throw the responsibility for their actions on us. It’s up to US to turn them off, not on them to stop when they know we’re not interested, and if they don’t feel like stopping, it’s our fault for not doing better to dissuade them.
It’s normal to doubt yourself. It’s normal to worry about what other people think. It’s normal to regret not coming out earlier, or not coming out later. It’s normal to regret how you told people, and how people reacted. It’s normal to think your identity isn’t valid. It’s normal to worry about the present. It’s normal to worry about the future. It’s normal to worry about all of this. I did it, and pretty much every other trans person (and that’s a lot of people) did too.
Sometimes, after coming out, it can feel like people aren’t supporting you as much as they did beforehand. There is love and support out there, though.
You can do this. You’re a star shining your light on the world and you will be okay.
I have spent a good many years since ― too many, I think ― being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction or poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that’s all.
So I haven’t been swimming for years cos not having the time and just life getting in the way but i was a really avid one when i was younger, So there i was just swimming up a down and the life guard came up to me and said “Do you realize how fast your swimming??” and i thought he was mad so I was just screaming inside and he said “Well you sure do swim fast, Thought about being on a team?” and i legit just thought i was thrown into an anime I didn’t know what to say so myself being an idiot just said “ … Free?” and he replied “yeah its free you just have to show up” Long story short. I’m on a swimming team now.
PSA: Hey! Some asshat on the Star Wars Wiki is replacing article pages with TFA SPOILERS
Heads up, everybody, because this just happened to me and I’m kinda pissed.
If you are trying to load a page on Wookiepedia and the page turns red, CLOSE THE TAB. It may include potential spoilers for The Force Awakens, because some asshat decided it would be funny to replace COMPLETELY UNRELATED PAGES with spoilers(?) for the movie in glaringly large font.
Tread Wookiepedia with care, or if you really don’t want to risk spoilers, I would recommend laying off the wiki for a couple of days.