Someone please take me with them to a concert. I don’t care whose concert it is. It could be a Wiggles concert for all I care (fun fact: I actually went to one when I was like 4). I just want to go listen to some live music with some friends. Or better yet, if someone could book me a gig at some hipster coffee shop, that’d be cool too.

imagine #9

Brendon heard the crowd screaming relentlessly, knowing he was coming onstage in a matter of seconds. He took a long, nervous drink from the beer bottle on the table closest to him, adjusted his baseball cap for the millionth time, and began pacing in place, working up the adrenaline he needed to perform. After a few moments of this practice he gave a thumbs-up to Dallon, who nodded to Dan and Kenny beside him. Showtime. The boys all raced onstage at the same time, and the crowd grew even louder, though Brendon hadn’t even known that was possible. He walked confidently over to the mic stand and immediately kicked off with Victorious. When that ended, he found that someone had moved his beer bottle to the stage a few feet in front of him, and he took a grateful drink before greeting the audience and introducing the band. The show went same as always, though after the show Brendon’s vision was significantly blurrier than it had been before the bottle was emptied. Once they were backstage, the band high-fived and breathed sighs of relief. It was Weezer’s turn in the spotlight for now. The first show of their summer tour, and they were already on a great start.

It was the last night of the not-really-summer-anymore tour with Weezer, and Brendon was really trying to turn his exhaustion into excited energy, at least temporarily. No alcohol for this show; he couldn’t afford to be slowed down. He did have a bit of weed during soundcheck, though. As he took his place at the mic and surveyed the crowd, he began to sweat nervously, and by the time the second song was over he had already abandoned his shirt. About halfway through the show he took a drink from the water bottle at the edge of the stage where his beer usually resides, and he took another long, nervous look at the crowd and for a split second thought he saw Ryan Ross. His heart missed a full two beats before the boy moved and he saw it wasn’t Ryan at all. He downed the rest of the water and crushed the bottle in his hand. He stood back up shakily and kept his eyes glued to the ground for most of the show. By the time they swapped places with Weezer, Brendon felt a bit nauseous. He ran is fingers through his hair and decided to text Ryan a simple hello, I miss you, wanna meet up soon, and threw himself down on the couch and closed his eyes. A moment after the message sent, he heard a phone go off near him, and opened one eye to see Ryan squinting at his screen and then looking at Brendon.
“Funny,” he said, “I was just thinking that same thing.”
He stood up, feeling like he was in a dream.
Ryan smiled and threw himself at Brendon. Brendon could hardly believe what was happening. He heard Ryan breathlessly explaining how he had meant to come before and how sorry he was and even an “I love you, Brendon” somewhere in there. He smiled and kissed the taller boy.
“I love you too.”

“Brendon! Showtime!”
Brendon woke to Dan shaking him awake.
“Come on man, last show of the tour starts in five minutes and you’re still half asleep!”
He staggered off of the couch and then it clicked. If this is the last show of the tour… was his whole reunion with Ryan a dream? He swore. Exhausted and inexplicably heartbroken, he made it through the show with lots of help from his beer and Dallon catching him when he stumbled, and after the show he went backstage and promptly threw up. He shoved past Kenny, who didn’t bother trying to follow him, and he found the perfect corner. It already had a half empty bottle of something in it. Brendon didn’t stop to see what the drink was, he just helped himself to some and sank onto the ground with his head in his hands. He’d probably never see Ryan again, and Ryan probably didn’t care.
“Am I interrupting something?” Brendon heard someone, probably Dallon, ask. He didn’t look up from his hands.
“Go away, Dallon. I need a minute.”
No footsteps retreated, however, and Brendon removed his hands face to see Kenny’s boots.
“Kenny, whatever. Just go away.”
The boots remained planted, and Kenny spoke again.
“Please? I’ve been dying to talk to you.”
Slightly confused and mostly annoyed, Brendon stood up and looked right into Kenny’s face, preparing to yell, and the words died in his throat when he found his face about two inches away from Ryan Ross’. This time, though, it was actually Ryan Ross, and somehow he was here, and the taller boy wrapped his arms around Brendon and he leaned into Ryan’s chest and hugged him back, and Ryan patted Brendon’s back and told him how good his show was, and Brendon confessed how much he had missed Ryan, and when they finally broke apart Ryan was teary and Brendon felt like he was dreaming. They talked through all of Weezer’s set, though Brendon felt a bit guilty for not supporting them on the last show of the tour, and Ryan gave Brendon a kiss before the bands took their bows together, and everything was perfect.
“We gotta hang out sometime,” Brendon said while helping pack up the gear.
“Definitely,” Ryan replied.
Brendon couldn’t believe how incredibly happy he was now that Ryan was back in his life. There was just one more thing…
“Ryan…” he began slowly. “You remember… what it was like when you were in panic, right?” he asked, hoping Ryan understood that as being code for “when we were dating”.
Ryan clearly got it. “Yeah, why?”
Brendon’s fingers worried at the hem of his shirt as he asked, “Doyoustillloveme?” in a nearly inaudible mumble. Ryan frowned.
He took a deep breath. “Do you still love me?”
Ryan looked deep into his eyes, then broke out into a smile that put the sun to shame and kissed Brendon with all his heart.
“I never stopped.”


if panic! at the disco albums were eyeshadow 

→pretty. odd.

Pretty! Gay? (Article from Out Magazine)

The video for Build God, Then We’ll Talk was one of the most awesomely perverse things I’ve ever seen.
Jon: The pornomime!
Spencer: We love that video.
Jon: We weren’t even planning on releasing that as a single.
Spencer: I don’t even think it could get played on MTV, so it ended up just an internet release. But YouTube’s bigger than anything in the world anyway. We never get asked about it!

Am I going to love the new one for “Nine in the Afternoon” as much? Is it as kinky?
Spencer: It’s not as kinky.
Jon: It’s not as sexual in the sense that there’s no mime having mimed sex with a decently hot girl.
Spencer: It’s definitely the most interactive video that we’ve ever been in. In the first couple videos we made, Brendon was really the only person in it.
Jon: We’re all in this one equally. And there are more colors in it than we’ve ever seen.
Spencer: More sets. More time spent filming than any of the other videos had the budget for before.

How would you describe the look?
Jon: Pretty… Pretty odd.
Spencer: [Smiling] Pretty odd.
Jon: You’ll have to see it.

Your last tour included a script where Brendon referred to Ryan as his lover and then chased him across the stage, trying to kiss him. Someone at Logo even called it the gayest stage show they had ever seen.
Spencer: That’s awesome. I guess a lot of bands we like, they just had more interesting stage shows. It seems that a lot of things get thrown into that type of view if it’s not the most masculine thing. We just don’t like going on stage with skull bandanas and ripped jeans and cut-off t-shirts showing off our muscles.
Jon: We don’t have any.
Spencer: We don’t have any! That’s the problem. We can’t do that.

So you had to resort to costumes?
Spencer: We had to resort to costumes. We wore some of the costumes from Gangs of New York, which I don’t think anybody would have classified as the gayest movie ever they’ve ever seen! But as soon as we put them on… We laugh that off. I guess we can’t make everybody happy.

I think you made some people very happy.
Spencer: We made ourselves happy.
Jon: We played some pretty big places for only having one record out, and more than anything we wanted to make things as visually entertaining as possible. Brendon had this little character he was for the whole show. We had different moments where weird shit happened. I don’t know. I don’t think it was too gay. Smith: Also the interaction between band members is something you don’t see as much as you used to. We really are good friends, and there are a lot of bands that hate each other. But you used to have these whatever, like Jimmy Page and – And Robert Plant, fucking hugging each other on the stage
Spencer: Singing into the same microphone.
Jon: Singing into the same goddamned microphone!
Spencer: Yeah. Band interaction, I guess, can sometimes be confused for homosexuality. But it’s not, in our case.

Do you think your gay fans are confused about you?
Spencer: Me and Ryan just, over the past summer, both recently purchased our first houses. We used the same interior decorator, and she thought Ryan was gay for the first three months! And I had to tell her that he had had a girlfriend for a year and a half. So – we have talked about it. For whatever reason our personal taste and preference in art and for videos and artwork appeals like that.
Jon: I think everybody’s just too afraid to have a good time. Everybody’s gotta loosen up a little bit.
Spencer: We don’t care who likes us – or who dislikes us.
Jon: And what’s the problem if Ryan and Brendon were actually dating, you know? There’s not really any problem with that.
Spencer: Because they might be.

What’s the gayest thing Panic has ever done?
Jon: That’s such a mean word!

I mean it in the good way, I promise!
Spencer: Well, here’s the thing. I’ve known Ryan since I was five years old, and we used to live down the street from each other, so we would sleep over. So I can say that I’ve slept in a twin-sized bed with Ryan Ross – more than once.

How was it?
Spencer: I got great sleep. It was tight. It was uncomfortable, because there’s not a lot of room, but…

Ryan Ross – good in bed?
Spencer: I’m not going to answer that!

Sorry, that was a really cheap set-up.
Spencer: [Laughing] Yeah.
Jon: I slept with Ryan in a twin bed less than two months ago! It was the most comfortable sleep I’ve ever had.


Slamdunk North, Leeds City Centre 28.05.16 

“This Is Gospel”

(If you want to use these pictures for anything please ask me first and credit me, and I will be happy to let you use them. I know they aren’t the best photos in the world but they are very personal to me regardless. thank you!)