what-does-that-have-to-do-with-anything

What if a lot of alien species didn’t actually evolve as pack species, and just adapted to living in communities out of necessity? So they can still work and live together, but they don’t have all the little instincts humans have that help them work in a group.

And they are freaked out by us.

We all wear the same clothes. It’s not a uniform— we just somehow all seem to like roughly the same outfits. We fit in so naturally with the people around us that you can use a human’s clothing to tell what country and what time period they are from. Aliens have no idea how we know what clothes are appropriate— they end up having to hire humans to act as fashion consultants after several incidents where diplomats showed up wearing mismatched clothes from various time periods and countries and looking totally ridiculous.

And what about yawning? Aliens who work on human ships say they never fully get used to hearing one human yawn and then having the whole room start yawning along with them. Or telling a joke to one human and seeing humans who say they don’t find the joke that funny cracking up anyway because “their laugh is so infectious!” It’s a common practical joke to tell new nonhuman crew members about this horrible disease humans get, where they feel tired and have an uncontrollable urge to open their mouths. It’s deadly, they say, and very contagious.

New safety procedures have to be worked out for the humans because, on the one hand, you don’t have to go around telling each individual to leave. Humans will just follow the mob. On the other hand, though, you have to be careful not to spread panic, because if one human runs, they all will, and they’ll trample anyone who isn’t fast enough to stay ahead.

Aliens hear humans tell their kids not to give into peer pressure and just get really confused. “Why would they do it if they don’t want to?”

“Because their friends are telling them to do it!”

“But why do it just because they’re telling them to do it?”

“Because they’re their friends!”

“What does that have to do with anything?”


When aliens see earth movies about people being indoctrinated or turned into zombies, it takes them a while to realise that these are horror movies because, from their perspective, that’s just what humans are like.

people trying to breastfeed their children: i just wanna feed my child 

cis guy assholes: well i have a penis and i can’t ejactulate onto the floor so :/ 

people trying to breastfeed their children: what does that have to do with anything 

cis guy assholes: equality :/

edit: i’ve been getting messages informing me that referring to the cis guys in this situation as “assholes” groupes them in with trans women, that wasn’t my intention but i understand how it looks that way, sorry! 

3

Ok. So, I just wanna talk about this for a second. For anyone who doesnt know, this is from the teaser for season 4. It should be on this hellsite somewhere if you wanna watch it, or you can find it on youtube.

Now, if you haven’t seen season 3 yet, you should probably stop reading this, cause I’m gonna mention a few spoilers. There probably not going to be terribly large spoilers, but spoilers all the same. If you’ve seen season 3 or you dont care about spoilers, then read on.

Okay, so… I was watching the teaser and I didn’t think much of this scene at first. But upon seeing it again something seemed odd. In this scene (in case you haven’t seen it or don’t remember it) Lotor is chasing after something and desperately trying to hit it with his sword. This is significant because, so far when Lotor has fought anyone, he’s calm and cool. Hell, so far Lotor seems to be someone who never seems to loose his calm exterior and always seems to be in control. He does crack sometimes, but not like this. In this scene he’s clearly upset. In fact, I’d go as far as to say he’s in a panic. I mean, look at the look on his face in the last shot. Whatever it is he’s desperate to wound/kill it and he needs to do it before it can get away.
Okay. So Lotor is trying to hit something and he’s freaking out. “What’s your point Star?” You might find yourself asking.
Well, take a look at the shots again. Look at who’s in them. Acxa, Zethrid, and Ezor are in the shot with Lotor, but not Narti. In case you aren’t sure who Narti is, she’s the blind mute one. The one with the cat.
Alright so, if you’ve seen episode 7 of season 3, you know that there’s a strong chance that that cat is in fact Haggar’s. When he got sick she treated him with quintessence, apparently making him immortal or something similar.
“But Star,” you ask, “what does this have to do with anything?”
I’m glad you asked!
If you’ve seen season 3, then you remember the episode where Haggar sent someone too spy on Lotor because she doesnt trust him. He’s obviously caught because Lotor’s not an idiot. He confronts Haggar about it, throwing the cybornetic arm of her spy at her. Now I don’t know about you, but to me the whole thing felt odd. Haggar is normally at least a little bit sneakier then that. The whole thing sort of plays off as a simple filler scene simply put there too show that Lotor is playing by his own rules and Haggar isn’t having it and doesn’t trust him. But I think Haggar is a little smarter then that. She’s been the brains behind Zarkon for ten thousand years after all.
If you can’t tell where I’m going with this, let me explain. I’d say the cat (or possibly Narti herself) is there to spy for Haggar. I’d say he realizes this in that moment, perhaps after something large about his plans has been exposed, and in a fit of panic and anger tries to kill it (or Narti). Even the way it’s framed. The camera is placed between Acxa and Zethrid, like the person or whatever Lotor is attcking is standing in formation with the three other girls. That would make the scene from Narti’s point of view. Specifically, this is what she would be seeing (except it would have to be the cat seeing it because she doesn’t have eyes but that’s not the point). Both Zethrid and Ezor seem to be in a state of shock. Acxa just seems to be stepping out of his way.
So I guess what I’m saying is that, next season, if anyone turns put to be a traitor amongst Lotor’s group, it’s the cat/ Narti.
Thank you for your time.

(Un)lucky Numbers

Humans are weird right? We have weird diets, we don’t know how to let the environment kill us, and we believe the oddest things. Like a day can be unlucky because of a number, or saying something makes it more likely to happen, or certain things bring bad luck. I just don’t see some of these things passing as we go into space.


Alien: Human friend, why have you locked yourself in your room?

Human: Because it’s Friday the 13th.

Alien: What does that have to do with anything?

Human: Bad luck, something always happens. I’m just going to sleep, see you tomorrow.

Alien: I… okay? *walks away perturbed and confused*

Alien: Human friend, have you made contact with your, ah, “Parents” recently?

Human: Shhhhh, don’t say it.

Alien: Say… what?

Human: Nothing, just… nothing.

Alien: … Do you mean, refer to your “pa-”

Human: DON’T MENTION THEM!!

Alien: But… why?

Human: They’ll call and then I have to deal with them and explain why I ran away to another space ship.

*comm rings*

Human: I’M NOT HERE!

Jealousy Games 02

Description: You decide to play a game of push and pull with your ex Jungkook, bringing Jimin along for the ride.

Pairing: JungkookxReaderxJimin

Genre: Smut (M)

Word Count: 6.2k

Index: 01, 02, 03

Warnings: Jungkook’s POV, masturbation, dirty talk, voyeurism. 

A/N: Alright y’all. Here it is. After this chapter, we can officially head into everything @ellieljade and I have planned. You’re not ready, tbh. As always, thank you to Nicole for being my beta and soundboard. 

Enjoy~!

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10

Osomatsu-san favorites: Osomatsu + big brother things
“Take care of my brothers?? Screw you! They’re the ones who wouldn’t play with me! I didn’t do anything wrong! And what does being the oldest have to do with anything?! We’re sextuplets! We’re all the same age! … But then again… technically… I’m still the oldest, aren’t I?”

6

he pledged to fight for daenerys targaryen. he’s bent the knee. i’ve heard gossip that the dragon queen is quite beautiful. what does that have to do with anything? jon is young and unmarried. daenerys is young and unmarried. you think he wants to marry her? an alliance makes sense. together, they’d be difficult to defeat.

Better With Age

Summary: Sam freaks out a little about growing older. You comfort him.

Word Count: 1900ish

Warning: standard smut, a little dirty talk

A/N: Hope y’all enjoy this one! XOXO


It’s the little things.

Sam starts an intense multivitamin regimen in the mornings. He cuts back on the beer. He tries his best to start sleeping five or six hours instead of the usual four.

You get it. You aren’t twenty-one years old anymore either. Sore muscles take a couple of days longer to heal, too many beers at dinner makes you feel awful the next day, and you just simply don’t have the stamina you used to.

Sam is just trying to ward off middle-age as long as he can, despite the fact that he’s not even there yet.

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Astrology, the Basics

“Wait, so i’m not just an Aries?!”

No, you’re not. In fact none of us are just one anything. So let’s dial it back to day we were born. The stars and planets in the sky aligned to convey a story completely unique to you, and thus your natal chart was born!

   Our Sun sign

“Playboi, what’s a Sun Sign?”

Well, the Sun Sign is the sign everyone typically knows about themselves. It’s the sign you were born under that immediately correlates with your birthday. Meaning, “I was born in April so I’m a Taurus!” Your sun sign is the sign the Sun was in on the day of your birth. So what does the sun represent in astrology? Our vitality and ego, “who we are.” The thing about the Sun is we’re constantly growing into ourselves and our egos, constantly learning ourselves and strengths, so we’re constantly growing into our Suns. Many people write off astrology due to their inability to relate to their Sun signs when so much more goes into a person. Your Sun sign is less “who i am” and more so “who i’m becoming.” And sometimes we never fully become the poster child of our Sun signs because we grow at different rates and resonate with different things, not to mention the housing of the Sun plays a heavy role in how our “egos” will play out. Also aspects made to our Sun by other planets are most important as they shape our Sun’s characteristics, but that’s another post!

Our Moon Sign

“…okay, so I understand Sun Signs now, but what’s a moon sign?”

The moon sign in astrology is of immense importance. This is where we feel most comfortable and secure and our primal emotional reactions. As I mentioned previously, the sun is “who we’re becoming’’ while the moon can be defined as “who we always are.” Unlike the Sun who illuminates everything, the moon is a softer, dimmer light. It lights up the dark sky at night and it does the same for our personal dark sky emotionally. Simply put, the moon is our emotions. Emotions can be simply irrational and erratic, so we suppress them because throwing a hissy fit in public is not that endearing. My point being that our moons can sometimes be overlooked by others as well as our selves because the attributes of our moons are highly subconscious at times.The moon is how we were nourished, and in turn how we nourish others. It’s an extremely sentimental and personal part of our being.It’s what makes us feel safe as well as habitual patterns we carry. A balanced moon is very important as an unbalanced one can take a toll on us physically. When the needs our moon requires aren’t met, we can start to display it’s negative attributes and fall into a bit of a depression, eat less, and never leave your bed. Or perhaps become more aggressive and angry depending on your moon sign. It’s also equally important to understand that others around us have different moon placements then us natally. Everyone requires different things to feel emotionally secure, sometimes we’re harder on others because their love languages differ from our own.

   Our Mercury Sign

“What does Mercury have to do with anything?”

Well, everything. Mercury rules over the mind, how we think, how fast we think, how we learn, our speech, and even our style of writing. He’s the fastest moving planet in the solar system so it’s fitting that he rules the nervous system. The poor guy gets glossed over a lot until he turns retrograde and everyone starts running around like chickens missing their heads because that’s when we notice most how strong Mercury’s influence is on our lives. Mercury is not an emotional planet but more so an intellectual one. It’s how we asses things and use logic before we act, if we use logic before we act.

Our Venus Sign

“I KNOW THIS ONE…LOVE RIGHT?”

You’ve guessed it, Venus rules over romance but a lot more as well. She’s our social graces, if we have any social graces at all. How we charm others as well as what we personally find pleasurable. Venus rules over our attitude towards money and material things. How much we spend and how often we treat ourselves. What we like to eat, what tastes good, what feels good. Venus is also our attractiveness, and what we’re attracted to. She gives us a clue to our love language on a more superficial level, what it takes to woo us. How we like to be seduced and pursued. Venus is diplomatic, she shows us how we make peace with others. Venus also rules over artistry and how appreciate the arts and even the possibility of having artistic gifts as well. Venus also highlights our sexual nature in terms of what we find pleasurable, what feels right, and what we find acceptable.

Our Mars Sign

“Mars is our…anger?”

He can be, yes. After all he is the God of War. Mars in astrology represents energy. Our physical energy and vitality, and especially our sexual energy. He’s all about action, what it physically takes us to do…well, anything. He’s our day to day strength and drive. He exemplifies how aggressive and assertive we are. Our ambitions, durability, temperament, action, and drive. Do we exercise? How sexual are we? Our sexual style? Our competitiveness? All can be answered by our mars sign. Mars showcases how quick we are to anger, what makes us tick/explode. He’s also the last of the personal planets.

Our Jupiter Sign

“……”

Jupiter is the first non personal planet as it stays in the same for an entire year. Everyone born within that year will have the same Jupiter sign. That doesn’t negate Jupiter’s importance in anyway, so don’t skim over him. It just means we have take a closer look at him in our natal chart by examining his house placement and aspects made towards him by other planets. Jupiter rules over good fortune, philosophy, travel, and higher level learning (different from mercury.) He is expansive and optimistic. He’s a grand catalyst to spiritual growth. He’s where we overindulge, our generosity, and wisdom.

Our Saturn Sign

“So what does Saturn do?”

Saturn is like our astrological father. He sets the rules and regulations, the routine. And like when we disobey our paternal father there’s consequences the same applies for Saturn. Saturn is not out to punish anyone, he just returns anything we put out into the universe. “What goes around comes around.” Sound familiar? Saturn rules over Karma. Saturn in our chart shows us where he grounds us, where we must be held responsible, where we must work hard. Our careers, the practicality of how we achieve success.

Our Uranus Sign

“and Uranus?”

Uranus is a much slower moving planet. His energy is very erratic, spontaneous, and rebellious. He’s extremely progressive and an advocate for originality. Uranus has to be looked at by house placement to determine its effects on us individually, as people from the same generation will share the same Uranus sign. Uranus in our charts will show us where we are unpredictable and rebellious. How and where we go against the grain. Our humanitarian side. How interested in activism we are, where we are liberated ourselves.

Our Neptune Sign

“that Sea God?”

Indeed. Neptune is the God of the Sea. In astrology Neptune rules over spirituality, all things hazy, confusion, love and romance on a deeper, ethereal level. He is illusions and our dreams. Intuition and psychic abilities. Neptune has dominion over deeper creativity and artistic abilities. He also shows us where we might try to escape reality and what we may try to use to escape reality with. He is addiction, substance abuse, and deception. Our fantasies. 

Our Pluto Sign

“isn’t Pluto like not even a planet anymore?”

Yes, technically Pluto is a planetoid, but we still refer to Pluto as a planet in astrology so he will be respected as such! Despite his small size and the grand amount of distance he is from us his effects are undeniable.Pluto in our charts shows us where we are transformed and regenerated. Where we must die to be born again. His energy is very subconscious, we don’t always see it, but we feel it.  He is obsession, and our hunger for power, where we struggle for power. He is how we react to sex on a deeper, subconscious level. Where and what we become drawn and attached to. His energy is very primal. He also highlights where we’re manipulative or jealous if we’re displaying the negative attributes of Pluto. 

Our Ascendant Sign

“our…what sign?”

Our Ascendant sign is crowned the ruler of our chart, and is of equal importance as our Sun and Moon signs. It’s specific to our birth time and location. The Ascendant is like the mask we put on to face the world. It’s our initial reaction to external forces. The lens we see life through on a day to day basis. Our ascendant is our physical bodies, how we look and how we act in public. It’s how people initially receive you, our first impressions, our mannerisms. Our outer personality. If people were to describe you they’d likely describe this sign.

So, as you can see a lot goes into a persons personality even more than what’s been mentioned above, humans are complex beings who can’t be described as just one sign, or one anything. We are more than our sun signs, we are more than signs period.

- playboi

Cas’s remarks on glimpsing tumblr:

“Why do all these people say fluff is killing them? I don’t get it.”

*tilts head, squinting until his nose bumps the screen as he finds another porn manip/drawing* Then, whispering: “how do they knooow?”

*spends an hour scrolling through a kitty tumblr*

“What does avacado toast have to do with anything?”

*spends another hour scrolling through a puppy tumblr*

“Hey!” *stabs screen with finger* “it’s me” *stabs a graphic edit* “there I am again!” *reapeats, growing excited* “again!” *stabs a pic with a trench coat before noticing it’s a kissing pic.* “Oh.” *turns red, scrolling down, but has a smile*

*Reblogs the 10,000th picture of Dean/Jensen that he’s found that day. Slams his hand down on the keyboard, breaking the enter key in half.* : “Another!”

After a long pause, and a scowl down at his clothes: “Does everybody hate my trench coat?”

Unexpected

“Uhm, Harry?” Draco eyed his roommate suspiciously. He shifted nervously in his desk chair as Harry’s intense green eyes seemed to graze over him. The man had a weird look on his face and Draco did not like it.

“Yes Draco?” Harry replied, stepping out of the doorframe into their shared dorm.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Draco pushed his chair backwards until it collided with his desk. Then, when Harry showed no sign of slowing down he got up and stepped away, so he now almost had his back pressed against the wall behind him. He knew he was acting ridiculous, but so was Harry. If he didn’t know any better the green eyes coming towards him were filled with… with…

Lust was the wrong word, but it was definitely some sort of desire. And curiosity. And determination. And some form of fondness Draco could not place at all.

A combination scary enough to make him do one more step backwards. His heels hit the wall.

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the timing is all wrong- h.s imagine

Originally posted by irinagudronchik

“Y/N!”

You chuckled softly and excused yourself from the conversation you were having with one of your friends.

Harry drunkenly plopped his body next to yours, his body almost on top of yours. He buried his face into your neck and smiled.

As if your hands had a mind of their own, they started to rub his back in a soothing matter. “How are you doing, birthday boy?”

Harry hummed and pulled his body back so he could look at you properly. He had a stupid, drunk, smile on his face. “I’m having the time of my life!”

You laughed, heart swelling at your best friend. “Good! You deserve the world.”

Even in Harry’s drunken state, his stomach did backflips hearing your words.

“Harry! Come on, let’s dance!” a female voice shouted from the middle of the dance floor.

You cleared your throat and nodded your head towards her, “Your girlfriend is calling you.”

Harry looked back between Brooklyn and you. He opened his mouth but was interrupted by Brooklyn calling him once again.

You tapped on his cheek, “Go! We’ll talk later!” Harry gave you a peck on your cheek and promised to meet up again later and proceeded to dance with Brooklyn.

You stared as he wrapped his arm around her waist and gave her a hard kiss to which she returned, her arms wrapping around his neck. You cleared your throat and looked down at the beer bottle in your hands before taking a long chug from it.

Louis came over and sat next to you, placing a hand on your thigh. He leaned into your ear and whispered, “I saw that.”

You looked at Louis and smirked, “What? Saw Harry acting like a proper drunk idiot?”

Louis shook his head and returned a smirk back to you, “No. Saw you drooling over the drunk idiot.”

You smacked Louis hard on his chest. “I told you that in secrecy!”

Louis rubbed where you hit him and gave you a look, “Oi! I haven’t told anyone!”

You narrowed your eyes at him, “I’m surprised you haven’t with that giant mouth of yours.”

Louis held his hands up in defense, “To be honest with you, I am too.”

You gave him one more look before the two of you burst out into laughter. You shook your head and looked back to Harry and Brooklyn dancing to a slower song, arms wrapped around each other. Still looking at him, you told Louis, “Doesn’t matter. He would never feel the same anyways.”

The next morning, you woke up to a slight headache. Damn it. Should have drank more water last night. You picked up your phone to see several messages from Harry, no doubt he texted it to you when he was drunk; the thought making you smile softly.

Y/N love! Miss you!

We should totally rent a boat.

Promised you a dance! Where r u

Did u leave u dick

LOL you don’t have a dick

Wait do u

Y/N?

Y/N!

ANSWER ME.

You laughed at Harry’s texts, wondering how in the world could he ever get these kind of ideas in his head. You glanced at the time at the top of your phone and figured you should make sure he got home alright.

“Hello?” Harry groggily answered.

“Morning sunshine.” You smiled getting up from your bed, heading over to the kitchen.

“I am anything from being in a sunshine mood this morning” Harry said, eyes closed, snuggling into his covers. “Can you bring me breakfast?”

You shut your fridge door and balanced the phone between your ear and shoulder, twisting a water bottle open, “Pass.”

Harry groaned loudly into the phone, “But it’s my birthday!”

You gulped down your swig of water, “It was last night, idiot!” Harry pouted, “But I’m hungry. And you love me.”

You rolled your eyes and chuckled. Harry whined, “Please Y/N.”

You sighed and smiled, shaking your head. “Fine.”

Harry cheered before wincing from the sudden movement, very hung over. “Maybe bring some aspirin as well.”

You were humming to yourself softly, holding a bag filled with Harry’s favorite breakfast: Avocado toast. Yours: A chocolate croissant.

You walked up to George, Harry’s doorman and dropped a bag in front of him. You smiled, “Hey George.”

George looked up at you and smiled before reaching into the bag. “Morning Miss Y/L/N.”

“I grabbed you a breakfast sandwich this time. George put his hand over his heart, “A woman that knows my heart.”

You laughed and walked away, “See ya, George!”

After taking the elevator to Harry’s apartment, you finally got to his door. You pulled his spare key out of your pocket and unlocked the door. You shut the door quietly, careful not to make too much noise. You placed your purse and bad with food on the counter. You began to walk to Harry’s bedroom but froze instantly. You heard a very loud moan come out of his room. You peeked your head from behind the hallway and were met with a rather disgusting sight. Brooklyn was on her knees in front of Harry. You quickly turned around and walked away, picking up the food and purse on your way out. Once you finally exited his apartment, you leaned against the door and sighed. She must of came over as soon as we hung up. Not wanting to let the food go to waste, you reached into your back pocket and pulled out your phone.

Breakfast?

Louis sat at his dining room table, hand on his chin, pouting, “If I knew you were going to give me this, I wouldn’t have answered your text.” You shrugged your shoulders, finishing the rest of your croissant. “Harry loves that.”

Louis crossed his arms and mumbled, “Harry also likes sardines.”

You wiped your mouth before Louis spoke up again, “Why didn’t you just give him this then?”

You picked at the button on the top of your shirt, “I was but decided not to.”

Louis stared at you, “Brooklyn was there wasn’t she?”

You sighed and shook your head yes. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Brooklyn. She was a very sweet girl. You tried to look for something small to dislike her but unfortunately, you couldn’t. Brooklyn was lovely. She was someone Harry needed.

Louis bit his lip, a look of sympathy on his face. He didn’t understand how Harry could be so blind. Y/N was perfect in his eyes. She was funny, the right amount of sassy, and beautiful. Anyone would be lucky to have the honor to call her their girlfriend. Wanting to change your mood, he asked, “Let me show you something.”

“Louis! That was awesome!” You shouted. The two of you were sat in Louis’s mini studio inside his apartment. He just played back a song that he was recently working on, planning for it to be his next hit.

Louis pressed the stop button and smiled brightly at you, “You liked it?”

“Loved it! So proud of you!” You smiled, giving him a hug. Louis smiled and hugged you back a little tighter, “I’m glad.”

Harry was sat on the couch in your living room apartment, feet on the coffee table. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.” You came back into the living room, popcorn in your hands. You sat next to him, getting into the same comfortable position as well. You shrugged your shoulders and grabbed the remote, going through the DVR. You clicked on the episode of Game of Thrones you were looking for and nestled into the couch a little more. “Wait, you skipped an episode. We didn’t watch that one yet.” Harry interrupted you.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot I watched that episode with Louis the other night” you said, grabbing the remote again. “I’ll watch it again if you’ll like.”

Harry turned his body so it was facing you, “Since when have you and Louis started hanging out?”

You shrugged your shoulders once more, “We’ve always hung out.” Harry scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah..but never alone..”

You gave him a confused look, “What does that have to do with anything?”

Harry sighed, “It doesn’t but I didn’t know you guys were on that friendship level..”

You gave him one more look before laughing, “Louis is great company, what’s the big deal?”

Harry got back into his position and rested his arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer, a sense of worry going through his body. “I’m being silly, sorry love. Can we watch the episode?”

You were holding your chest, trying to gain your breath back. Louis stood next to you, tapping his foot, hands on his hips. “Y/N-” You held up your finger, still trying to catch your breath.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh for fuck’s sake, Y/N it was only a block!”

You and Louis started to grab some takeout. While you guys were walking back to his apartment, it started to rain. Not wanting the food to get ruined, Louis suggested the two of you to run the short distance. Finally, you were able to breathe. You narrowed your eyes at him, “I could have slipped on the rain and died.”

The two of you stepped into the elevator, he smirked at you. “That would be an unfortunate way to die. ‘Girl defeated by rain.’ Now that’s a buzzfeed article I would read.”

Ever since Harry’s birthday party, you and Louis became insanely close. At first you saw Louis as a distraction from your feelings for Harry but eventually you grew to really enjoy his company. Louis always admired you and hanging out with you lately has made his feelings for you grow more.

After the two of you finished the food, you really wanted to hear Louis’s new song again. Louis pretended to be annoyed but his heart warmed at the thought of you loving his song. As Louis played back the song, you began dancing like a mad woman. Louis was watching you, laughing at your horrid dance moves. As you were dancing, your foot caught on one of the wires that was on the floor. Louis quickly grabbed you before you fell to the floor. You placed your hands on his arms and looked up at him. You don’t know who kissed who first but you soon found yourself sitting on Louis’s lap, hands tangled in his hair. The two of you kissing as his song was playing quietly in the background, repeating itself.

You were walking to your door, hand in your hand, smiling at Louis’s latest text to you. You quickly sent him a text, arranging to meet up later. As soon as you opened the door, Harry was on the other side. His hand was up, looking like he was going to knock before you opened the door. “Hey. what are you doing here?” you asked, putting your phone into your back pocket.

“I broke up with Brooklyn.”


part 2?

Yall know those weird ads on here that look like obscure memes?? I just saw one in my dream that had a picture of a black and white 2005 furby and the caption “I just created a chocolate more delicious than those of your top New York chefs. What does that say about humans? Try me bitch.” And it was so confusing and mildly threatening I immediately woke up.

♛ —————— FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR SENTENCE STARTERS.

’ I’m gonna pop that little zit when I get home. ’
’ You must have been an athlete in your thinner days. ’
’ Hey, hey, lets stick to the topic okay? ’
’ You know, I’d be happy to perscribe something for that. ’
’ Between you and the humpty dance, I’ll have to get a metal plate on my butt. ’
’ Hey, you wanna go to the club with us tonight? ’
’ Well, someone has her/his rude hat on tonight. ’
’ I’m starvin’. When do we eat here? ’
’ I think you’ve been deprived of oxygen at birth. ’
’ You’re the man. I’m just the man behind the man. ’
’ Man, have I told you how thin you’re lookin’ lately? ’
’ How can I forget? He was wearing my purple suit. ’
’ I was going to drop by and check on the, the thing. ’
’ Aren’t you a little overdressed? ’
’ What kind of idiot picks a password no one can guess? ’
’ Then how do you explain becoming a lawyer? ’
’ Excuse me, what’s a nine-letter word for “Terrific?” ’
’ I’m sick of being such a big loser. ’
’ When the press hears about this they’re going to have a field day. ’
’ You know, I was looking through your police file, and bingo! ’
’ Oh wake up, knucklehead. ’
’ Well, you know I never had a good imagination. ’
’ I never even had imaginary friends when I was a kid. ’
’ Ain’t no thang but a chicken wing. ’
’ I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice. ’
’ That’s called prudent planning. ’
’ I’m still exhausted from last night. ’
’ All I asked you to do was a little yard work. ’
’ What’s that hideous thing growing out of your neck? ’
’ Could you drop me off at the beach? ’
’ My fault, man! I must have got the wrong crib. ’
’ I’m sorry! I thought you were all asleep! ’
’ Look, now, everybody calm down. False alarms happen all the time. ’
’ Trust is a very fragile thing… ’
’ I’m as big as a house. All I want to do is lie in bed and eat pie. ’
’ I mean, we must all do our parts to protect the environment. ’
’ Why, I never knew it was such a problem. ’
’ Where should I make a donation? ’
’ You know, ain’t like I’m still five years old, you know? ’
’ Sarcasm? Whatever do you mean? ’
’ Whoa, hold on mister, you’re all over the map! ’
’ Well, you know what they say about guys with big feet. ’
’ Those things are stupid. What does mine say? ’
’ My horoscope says that I’m gonna be a famous rapper with a TV show. ’
’ I’m too ashamed to talk about it, it’s better if I show you… ’
’ You did a porno movie? ’
’ If you’re serious, I could make some calls. ’
’ There’s something I need to tell you. ’
’ I was keeping them in case I needed them… ’
’ How could you be so stupid? ’
’ You know you shouldn’t be messing with drugs! ’
’ Somebody gave them to me at school. ’
’ My son/daughter could have died because of you! ’
’ I got the cake you wanted for the family reunion. ’
’ It’s round, it’s rubber and you’ll never use it! ’
’ You say you want things but you’re never willing to work for it! ’
’ You’re a slacker. You never make the sacrifice. ’
’ Do you remember our first date? ’
’ Well, I think you should run along and play. ’
’ You have no integrity, no decency, and you’re really, really short! ’
’ Come on, I gotta get you to the hospital! ’
’ Something terrible has happened, man! ’
’ I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful! ’
’ Look, you gotta promise you’re not gonna overreact… ’
’ Those pills that you took weren’t vitamins. ’
’ What could be worse than finding out I’m still a virgin? ’
’ Oh, my God. I’m a drug addict and a virgin! ’
’ I don’t touch greasy, disgusting things! ’
’ And for your information, dinner comes first! ’
’ Oh, it’s like that, right? You’re just gonna slam garbage at me! ’
’ I’m going to be watching you like a shadow! ’
’ I love bugs and I love death. I love oozing flesh wounds! ’
’ I have been calling you for fifteen minutes. Didn’t you hear me? ’
’ Did you just put super glue in my hair gel? ’
’ I’m also getting tired of the short jokes. I’m average height. ’
’ If you were me, you’d be good looking. ’
’ You’re not in touch with anybody's feminine side. ’
’ You’re gonna embarrass me when I become the new co-host. ’
‘ It’s not a doll, it’s an action figure! ’
’ I’ve been studying self-defense. ’
’ I’m just trying to recall what it felt like to be fifteen. ’
’ It was so long ago, how could you remember? ’
’ I’m just so upset, I’m saying things I don’t even mean. ’
’ You know something? This is all your fault. ’
’ What is that, like the theme of this family? ’
’ Knowing my luck, I might run into a disgruntled postal worker. ’
’ Y'all know ain’t no little bullet gonna stop me. ’
’ What does that have to do with anything? ’
’ Have you ever crushed any one? ’
’ Y'all come back now, y'hear? ’
’ What do you mean I didn’t get the job? ’
’ Well, you tell those little brats I don’t like them either! ’
’ What does it look like I’m doing? I’m gambling. ’
’ You stole my wallet? How much do we have? ’
’ Um… You a little freaky-deeky, ain’t you? ’
’ I think you’ve been smokin’ a little bit too much of that catnip. ’
’ I’m a little uncomfortable with nudity. ’
’ Oh, for God’s sake, would you leave already? ’
’ Oh, we have to have a special going away dinner for you. ’
’ Well, it’s got ceiling-to-floor doors, and wall-to-wall floors. ’
’ You can’t see my apartment, because I don’t have one. ’
’ That just doesn’t sound right coming from me, does it? ’
’ This is a stick with a snake wrapped around it. ’
’ You ain’t ever gonna change! ’
’ I’m getting the last word! ’
’ You’re not age appropriate for this party. ’
’ Haven’t you learned anything from all of this? ’
’ Doesn’t anyone care about how I feel? ’
’ I never say that. It’s make like a banana and split. ’
’ Come on people, I weigh the same I weighed back in high school. ’
’ I hope you like that system, because you’re gonna be seeing a lot more of it in your life. ’
Undercover ~ MAFIA!BTS AU PART 2


Paring: Jungkook x Reader ft. BTS

Genre: Angst

Word Count: 1,635 Words

MASTERLIST

 PART 1 PART 3 PART 4 PART 5 PART 6 PART 7

You crossed your arms over your chest as you looked patiently at Jungkook.

 “Look Jun-”

 “I’m sorry. I was at a club with the guys, and there was someone, who we didn’t know, that apparently were making some kind of deal, and they started pointing guns at each other and we thought we could step in and get things under control.” Jungkook blurted out as he looked at you from your bed, as you bent down to clean the bloody tiles.

 You sighed heavily as you closed your eyes. Pursing your lips you threw the, now blood soaked, towels in the trash and washed your hands.

 You walked with long steps towards your king sized bed and looked at Jungkook with sad eyes.

 “I’m sorry that it happened to you,” You said as you placed your hand on his, that was resting on his stomach. He smiled at you and pulled you down so you were laying on his chest.

 “I’m better now” He kissed the top of your head, and pulled you even closer to him.


 It had been 2 weeks since the shooting at Jungkook’s club. He told you not to tell anyone so they didn’t get the police involved. You promised you wouldn’t and everything had so far gone back to normal. For you.

 Jungkook held a meeting with the 6 other boys and it was planned that Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung would do a drive-by shooting at one of Sooyoung’s parties.

 Sooyoung was dead of course, someone else had taken over. But this party was planned even before he died and they decided to keep the guest list and party location the same.

“ Jimin, Tae, Hoseok, and I are gonna do a drive-by at Sooyoung’s party,” Jungkook said, motioning one of the guards with a bag over. 

 He sat it down on the table in front of them and Jungkook moved forward to open it.

“Hoseok, I want you to drive.”Jungkook said, laying out a few guns on the table.

“And you three-” He said, pointing at Namjoon, Yoongi, and Seokjin.

“Keep (Y/N) occupied. She’ll be coming over soon.” 

Jimin rolled his eyes and chuckled, “Still seeing her, huh?”

 Jungkook turned to him calmly, his fingers pushing the bullets into the magazine of his pistol. 

 “Yeah, I don’t get bored and fuck other girl’s behind her back either.” He smirked, raising an eyebrow at Jimin. Jimin decided not to strike back and just sat there and watched Jungkook’s fingers as they grabbed onto the next bullet.

 “Shut up you two. We need to get going. It’s starting soon.” Taehyung said, grabbing two of the remaining guns off of the table and walking towards the door.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

 “You’re right.” Jungkook nodded and grabbed his two, leaving two for Jimin. 

 Once they were ready, Hoseok got into the drivers seat, Jungkook was passenger, Taehyung was left back, Jimin was right. Hoseok drove just like everyone else, trying not to seem suspicious at all. 

 They drove slowly down the street at first, many people were sitting outside. A few children, but mostly men and women. 

 “They’re on both sides of the street. Jimin and I have right, Tae you have left. Shoot as many as you can, Hoseok leave in a minute and a half.” Jungkook said. 

 They all nodded and made sure they were loaded before getting in the correct position. Hoseok drove down the street again, then stopped in the middle of the main two houses everyone was at. Hoseok rolled down the windows while Jungkook counted down from 3. 

 “3…2…SHOOT!” He yelled. 

 Guns immediately went up and they shot at everyone. There were no specific people they were shooting at, they were making a statement. 

 They were stronger. Sooyoung is weak. 

 Women and children were screaming, running inside as quick as they possibly could. Men reached into their pockets for their gun, only to get shot in the process. 

 Hoseok’s foot was hovering over the pedal, waiting for Jungkook to say when to go. Jungkook reloaded as quick as he could, and shot at whoever was looking for somewhere to take cover when he finished. 

 There was a man, he was about mid-twenties. Jungkook smirked slightly and pulled the trigger, shooting him directly in the back. The man screamed in pain, falling to the ground. He watched as the blood soaked his shirt, and then began pooling on the concrete beneath him. 

 It was nearly a minute and a half later when Jungkook yelled for Hoseok to drive. His foot slammed down on the gas and they drove away quickly. Jimin sat and watched as they drove away. Men were laying in the lawn, dead. His eyebrows furrowed when he spotted a very small body laying near the steps to enter the house. 

 It was a child. A young boy no older than 6 or 7 years old was laying there dead. Jimin had shot and killed him. 

 “Jimin!” Taehyung yelled, trying to gain his attention. 

 Jimin jumped, and dropped the gun in the seat. He looked over at Taehyung, his vision was clouded with tears. 

 “The fuck happened to you?” He asked as it was odd behavior for Jimin. He’s never emotional when it comes to this. 

 “I-I… I just killed a fucking child Taehyung.” Jimin said as the tears streamed down his face. No one said a word, the car was filled with silence as they drove back to Hoseok’s to get cleaned up before heading back and seeing (Y/N).

They each showered and changed their clothes before heading back to Jungkook’s house. 

Namjoon, Yoongi, Seokjin, and (Y/N) were seated in the living room watching a movie while patiently waiting for them to arrive. Hoseok and Taehyung walked into the room and took a seat on the couch. 

 "(Y/N)! We’re here!“ They called cheerfully, to you, it seemed like nothing had happened. You had no idea that they had just murdered at least 8 people in cold blood, even a child. 

 Jungkook grabbed onto Jimin and pulled him to the side, not yet walking into the livingroom. 

 "What was that out there?” He asked, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed. 

Jimin leaned in and lowered his voice, “I shot a fucking child Jungkook.“ 

Jungkook sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “You didn’t mean to." 

 "But I did! That’s the thing! I did it!” His voice cracked, and he looked up at the ceiling, holding back the tears that were threatening to fall. 

 "Man up Jimin! Grow a set of balls and stop being a little bitch!“ Jungkook raised his voice and threw his arms up. 

 "I can’t! Imagine if you were in my shoes!” Jimin raised his voice back, taking a step closer to him. 

 "If you can cheat on (Y/N) and not feel any emotion after she finds out, you can get over this.“ 

 "What does that have to do with anything?”

 Jungkook groaned and again ran a hand through his hair, “If you weren’t sensitive then, then don’t be sensitive now!” Jimin pushed Jungkook and he stumbled back before quickly gaining his balance and preparing for a fight. 

 It was at this point when you had run out and pulled Jungkook away from Jimin. 

 "Jungkook, calm down!“ You yelled, wrapping your arms around him from behind so he couldn’t move. Taehyung held Jimin back and he was kicking and yelling to try to get his hands on Jungkook. 

 "You’re a fucking liar Jungkook! Why don’t you go tell (Y/N) what just happened, huh!? I think she’d love to know!” He yelled while being pulled out of the room by Taehyung and Namjoon. 

 Jungkook stood and watched, you were tightly holding onto him and he couldn’t do anything. When Jimin had left, you let go of him and followed him to his bedroom. 

 "What was that?“ You asked, watching as Jungkook took a seat on the edge of the bed and worked on pulling off his pants, still having to be careful of his leg. It was still healing and he had to take his time. As he got it off, he walked over to one of his drawers and pulled out a pair of black basketball shorts and put on a white t-shirt. 

 "Nothing, he was being sensitive for no reason.” He shrugged, avoiding eye contact with you. He got in his usual spot in the middle of the bed and opened his arms, signaling for you to come lay with him. 

 You pulled off your pants and moved over to him and straddled his waist. This was a normal thing for you and Jungkook, he was patient and never made any moves with you yet. 

 His hands grabbed onto your hips and he looked up at you. You had on one of his shirts and had on a pair of black panties. Your hair was slightly messy but he thought you looked beautiful as always. 

 "What did he mean about you lying? What don’t I know?“ You asked, running your hands up and down his chest, he visibly shivered and tried to keep his cool. Sighing and ignoring your question, he pulled you in for a kiss. You quickly kissed back and you tangled your fingers in his hair, softly tugging on the dark brown locks.

 "J-jungkook… Answer me..” You whispered after you pulled away to breathe. 

  He bit his lip, “(Y/N) please.." 

 "Answer me Jungkook.” He tried to go in for another kiss but you pulled away and got off of him. 

Quickly pulling on your jeans, you grabbed your things and walked over to the door. “Call me when you wanna actually give me some answers, and not use me for sex." 

 You closed the door behind you and went home, not speaking to Jungkook again until he called you later the next day.