what-brand

sammy-holland  asked:

going to the supermarket with tom hc?

  • this would be such a mess because he’d want everything in sight 
    • “babebabebabebabe can we get these???” while holding up literally six candy bars
  • being all cute and pouty when you say no and tell him to put them back 
    • “darling please you know how much I love these,” and he’d pull his signature puppy dog eyes
    • “fine, but just one,” before he gives you a sloppy kiss
  • he’ll get really cute when deciding between what brand to get 
    • his eyebrows will furrow as his eyes read the labels comparing them in his head
    • pulling his bottom lip in between his teeth 
    • mumbling little things to himself once in a while 
  • in the end he’s always asking for you to make the decision cause he wants to make sure you like it 
    • “which one do you think we should get, love?” and you’d just shrug telling him whichever he wants 
    • which leads to another five minutes of him being cute 
  • you just end up grabbing one box, tossing it into the cart and moving on
  • tom doing the cute thing where he’ll get you to stand on the cart, holding on to the handle while he pushes 
    • “tom you’ll get us kicked out!” but you’re actually have such a good time you don’t really care 
    • “I’m Spider-Man, they can’t kick me out,” 
  • no joke it takes like two hours for you to finish grocery shopping because you’ll have little arguments 
    • “I want oreo’s!” while tom just goes “well I want chocolate chip cookies!” 
    • obviously ending up getting both
  • he’ll just be super cute
    • pressing kisses to your nose 
    • patting your bum in the line
  • ugh wow a dream i want this 

I’ve been contemplating for several days something, and I’ve been trying to distill it into meaning, and put nice little bullet points on how this relates to things that have been bugging me about some common Discourses I’ve been seeing, but at the end, I only really have a story. So here, have a story.

About ten years ago, sometime in the eventful 2006-2007 George W. Bush-ruled hellscape of my identity development, I was just starting to figure out how I felt about my conservative upbringing (not great) and whether I was some brand of queer (probably, but too scared to think about what brand for too long). I was working as a server at a popular Italian-inspired sit-down restaurant that was the closest thing my tiny South Carolinian town had to “fancy” at the time but isn’t really fancy at all.

The host brought a party of four men to one of my tables. It was hard to tell their ages, but my guess is they were teenagers or in their early 20s in the 1980s. Mid-40s, at the time. It was standard to ask if anyone at the table was celebrating anything, so I did. They said they were business partners celebrating a great business deal and would like a bottle of wine.

It was a fairly busy night so I didn’t have a LOT of time to spend at their table, but they were nice guys. They were polite and friendly to me, they didn’t hit on me (as most men were prone to do – sometimes even in front of their girlfriends, a story I’ll tell later if anyone wants me to), and they were racking up a hell of a tab that was going to make my managers happy, so I checked on them as often as I could.

Toward the end of their second bottle of wine, as they were finishing their entrees, I stopped at the table and asked if they wanted any more drinks or dessert or coffee. They were well and truly tipsy by now, giggling, leaning back in their chairs – but so, so careful not to touch each other when anyone was near the table.

They’re all on the fence about dessert, so being a good server, I offered to bring out the dessert menu so they could glance it over and make a decision, “Since you’re celebrating.”

“She’s right!” one of the men said, far too emphatically for a conversation on dessert. “It’s your anniversary! You should get dessert!”

It was like a movie. The whole table went absolutely silent. The clank of silverware at the next table sounded supernaturally loud. Dean Martin warbled “That’s Amore” in some distorted alternate universe where the rest of the restaurant went on acting like this one tipsy man hadn’t just shattered their carefully crafted cover story and blurted out in the middle of a tiny, South Carolina town, surrounded by conservatives and rednecks, that they were gay men celebrating a relationship milestone. 

And I didn’t know what I was yet, but I knew I wasn’t an asshole, and I knew these men were family, and I felt their panic like a monster breathing down all our necks. It’s impossible to emphasize how palpably terrified they were, and how justified their terror was, and how much I wanted them to be happy.

So I did the only thing I knew to do. I said, “Congratulations! How many years?”

The man who’d spoken up burst into tears. His partner stood up and wrapped me in the tightest, warmest hug I’ve ever had – and I’ve never liked being touched by strangers, but this was different, and I hugged him back.

“Thank you,” he whispered, halfway to crying himself. “Thank you so much.”

When he finally let go of me and sat back down, they finally got around to telling me they were, in fact, two couples on a double date, and both celebrating anniversaries. Fifteen years for one of them, I think, and a few years off for the other. It’s hard to remember. It was a jumble of tears and laughter and trembling relief for all of us. They got more relaxed. They started holding hands – under the table, out of sight of anyone but me, but happy.

They did get dessert, and I spent more time at their table, letting them tell me stories about how they met and how they started dating and their lives together, and feeling this odd sense of belonging, like I’d just discovered a missing branch of my family.

When they finally left, all four of them took turns standing up and hugging me, and all four of them reached into their wallets to tip me. I tried to wave them off but they insisted, and the first man who’d hugged me handed me forty dollars and said, “Please. You are an angel. Please take this.”

After they left I hid in the bathroom and cried because I couldn’t process all my thoughts and feelings.

Fast forward to three days ago, when my own partner and I showed up to a dinner reservation at a fancy-casual restaurant to celebrate our fifth anniversary. The whole time I was getting ready to leave, there was a worry in the back of my mind. The internet web form had asked if the reservation was celebrating anything in particular, and I’d selected “Anniversary.” I stood in the bathroom blow-drying my hair, wondering what I would do if we showed up, two women, and the host or the server took one look at us and the “Anniversary” designation on our reservation and refused to serve us. It’s not as ubiquitous anymore, but we’re still in the south, and these things still happen. Eight years of progressive leadership is over, and we’ve got another conservative despot in office who’s emboldening assholes everywhere.

It was on my mind the whole fifteen minutes it took to drive there. I didn’t mention it to my partner because I didn’t want to cast a shadow over the occasion. More than that, I didn’t want to jinx us, superstitious bastard that I am.

We walked into the restaurant. I told the hostess we had a reservation, gave her my last name.

She looked at her screen, then looked back at us. She smiled, broadly and genuinely, and said, “Happy anniversary! Your table is right this way.”

Our server greeted us, said, “I heard you were celebrating!”

“It’s our anniversary,” Kellie said, and our server gasped, beaming.

“That’s great! Congratulations! How many years?”

And I finally breathed a sigh of relief, and I thought about those men at that restaurant ten years ago. I hope they’re still safe and happy, and I hope we all get the satisfaction of helping the world keep blooming into something that’s not so unrelentingly terrible all the time.

shibolet3  asked:

Wait what con artist from 2014

I’d like to title this story “Swing And A Miss

Okay, so my high school had this program where seniors could leave school like a month and a half early and opt out of exams if they took on internships around the neighborhood, but not everyone wanted to/was eligible to do it. Back in like 2013, they had like 15 bored seniors stuck in the school, so the administration brought in this Professional Life Coach, left him in alone in a room with them for two hours to talk to them about like, self-esteem or some shit. All the kids were pulled out of their classes for this*, and later told the administration that they loved him, they really enjoyed the talk.

So, about a year later, we have a new principal. He’s supposed to set up an assembly for all the 11th and 12th graders, but he doesn’t know what to do. One of his coworkers mentions that there was a life coach that was a huge hit with the kids that didn’t do community study last year, so maybe he’d also be great for a larger audience. The principal basically thinks “okay, what the hell” and calls up and hires Jason C. Jean to come talk to the kids.

Now, it’s like, 10:30, maybe 11:00 in the morning, and two entire grades are getting shepherded to the main gymnasium, and no one wants to God damn be there. We ain’t got time for self esteem talks. We want to sleep. And this guy, watching us all drag our feet in and collapse into the bleachers was just like…offensively peppy. There’s a couple faculty members sitting behind him, the woman who suggested he be hired for this, the vice principals for the grades- but the principal himself kept getting calls so he was in and out the whole time.

Now, Mr. Jean was like…the chill “Just call me by my first name dude” history professor at college times 30. He was trying so fucking hard. I’m referring to him as ‘Mr. Jean’ in this story just to be disrespectful. So anyway, we all get in there, and he tells us right off the bat “You guys are totally allowed to be on your phones and laptops during this! I get it! It’s no problem, like really, I insist!” so while the faculty members are exchanging smiles that read ‘how do we kill that while respecting him’, all the kids are immediately pulling out their electronics and he’s starts his speech.

Now, again, I really wanna reiterate that he told us we could be on our phones- because when the news articles started coming out about this, I remember all these angry, annoying comments from old people like “Why the hell were the students on their phones in the first place! So disrespectful! These damn millennials and their social media!” like, they were completely ignoring the entire story and just focusing in on kids using the internet, and it Really Super Pissed Me Off, so. Again, we had permission for this (which also ended up being Mr. Jean’s fatal mistake).

So, he starts off this speech fairly normally, like ‘hi, I’m Jason, I’m a professional life coach and I wanna teach you kids about how to be The Best You!’ and like people were tuning him out and listening to varying degrees. Some kids (like myself) were kinda dozing off, and everyone was on twitter or facebook.

His approach to a self esteem speech seemed to be ‘let me tell you my entire life story for hours’ and like, at first I was like “I’m not really hearing this, I’m half dreaming right now” but the more I started making myself pay attention the more…bizarre and rambling his story got.

So like, for instance, he told us he drank a lot in high school. Like, a lot. But he didn’t use that as a ‘don’t drink or party too hard’ lesson, instead he was like “I was fourteen so I always called my parents to pick me up, and they weren’t mad because they knew it meant I could trust them. So remember, always tell your parents when you’re drinking!” and then it kinda got to a point where it sounded like he was encouraging partying and drinking and the like to the group of underage kids.

And then, he told us how he used to play baseball all the time when he was a kid, and at 16 reached a crossroads in his life where the Phillies wanted to draft him or he could go play football for Penn State. And he said he went with Penn State but later lost the scholarship for some reason and we’re like…really.

There was absolutely nothing coherent about anything he was saying- nothing that tied anything together, made a point, seemed like it had anything to do with an assembly on self esteem. He told us at one point he was making upwards of 7 million a year. He told us one time before college he was homeless. He told us he used to own a construction company and built his own branch of nightclubs himself, that he and his friend then ran. He told us he fought a shark and came out with no scars. He told us that he had less money now, because after surviving a work related accident- direct quote- “I fell almost 30 feet and I broke in half” - he decided to leave that industry and spend more time with his family.

So, yeah, I was pretty positive this was bullshit, but there were clearly kids in the room that were falling for it. But then he said something like…he and his friend got bored one day and started jarring up their own pasta sauce, and made a deal with wegmans or some store like that to start selling it, and now he has a pasta sauce empire. Like he spent 15 fucking minutes on this. The way he kept saying ‘pasta sauce’ was so annoying I was about to claw my ears out. But anyway, two girls in my grade wanted to find out what brand he was talking about, so they googled his name.

And then quietly gasped.

And then furiously started typing into their phones.

And remember- everyone, even though they were paying attention- was on twitter and facebook. All the sudden I see heads flying up and wide eyes and people whispering to each other. Mr. Jean doesn’t seem to notice the change and keeps rambling on, but I know something happened so I google him too and-

Okay so basically he’s 1) been arrested, 2) filed for bankruptcy like three times and 3) has been hailed as a ‘Swinger Guru’ by playboy.

EVERYONES SILENTLY FLIPPING OUT.

So by now, this is a fucking game- he still doesn’t notice anything wrong amongst the kids, so we’re all silently texting each other to fill each other in. Pulling up receipts. But still playing the part of politely intrigued audience members. The school faculty have no fucking idea what’s going on, until one of the students texts her mom, who happens to be the woman that convinced the principal to hire this guy. We see her check her phone, go wide-eyed, and she runs out of the fucking room presumably to either find the principal or hide in terror.

So Mr. Jean had been talking to random people intermittently throughout this speech, but we reach the ‘questions’ part of it. Everyone seems to silently agree that instead of just asking him anything outright, we should just see how good of a liar he was. So they’d be asking him stuff like ‘how much money did you make with ____ company’ and he’d give a ridiculously high number as people were sending each other reports of him filing for bankruptcy during that time. Or they asked him about his construction business which he said was great, and while he was talking about how great it was we were all reading his arrest report, from when a woman hired him to build her house, and he took her money and then like…just didn’t build anything. Wild. Someone asked him about his family and he’s extolling Christian virtues while we’re all on the website for his annual Swing Fest. People would ask him how he got certain jobs and he was making promises to hook kids up in interviews and shit. Everyone was loosing their God damn minds online and just barely holding it together in person. This man was so beyond full of shit- like, he was a God awful life coach but his dedication to lying was inspirational.

We eventually get to leave and everyone is yelling and cracking up and freaking out, all running to our classes to tell the teachers and the underclassmen everything, and the teachers are freaking out, alternating between horrified confusion and laughing hysterically. Before the school day even ended, someone had called a bunch of news stations. The principal was freaking out and denying he had anything to do with it, before calling some students to his office to see what exactly the kids had searched up on the guy…Because apparently teenagers can perform better background checks than school officials. It was all anyone could talk about for weeks.

A couple months after this, for my theater class’ showcase, I wrote and directed a skit called ‘Mason B. Mean’. It was a huge hit. The principal was in the audience. I’ve never seen a grown man look so dead inside. I made sure I was out of the room before he came up to congratulate the cast and everything. The next day, my theater teacher told me his only comment about the skit was a quiet, long-suffering “Why.” 😂😂

Annnnnnnnd that’s the time a Swinger Entrepreneur rambled on about pasta sauce and money in front of teenagers who knew how to use google for almost two hours.  

http://www.philly.com/philly/news/breaking/Montco_principal_apologizes_for_having_swinger_entrepreneur_speak_to_kids.html

Definitely not product placement

Amnesia Campaign again
Something something something, my players have a run in with the mob and eventually disguise themselves as the members. This conversation happens while walking about inside the base.

Gnome Cleric (Player): Hey, do any of you have the time?

Mobster: *pulls out an wrist-sundial (indoors)* Yeah, it’s 3 o'clock.

GC: Looks fancy, what brand is that?

Mobster: You like? It’s a Solex.

*cue laughter from myself and the party*

2

can you all please do me a favor and not put shitpostbot5k posts on my dash thanks, the person behind the bot is a shitty person who thinks its okay to use the term ‘autism’ in a degrading way (plus they like other shitty ppl too, check their twitter they follow pewdiepie and jontron  so that shows what their brand of humor is). im fucking uncomfortable with the term ‘autism’ being used like this, like its some funny joke (like ykno tht *autistic screeching* shit), its fucking disgusting and degrading and gross.

anonymous asked:

hi viria, i was wondering what brand/kind of make up do you use? i get so overwhelmed looking at youtube videos because it feels like you need a lot like foundation, concealer, powder, primer, etc. and i'm worried it'll look really obvious/bad but you make it look natural and subtle

on wwh, thank you!

Personally, I don’t feel like myself with heavy make up and I think it doesn’t quite suit me, so I’m happy to know what I do is liked by someone! 

But I feel like I might use a lot of stuff too? A year ago or so I happened to get myself into korean skincare/makeup, so ended up getting a bunch of stuff, mostly for skincare, but still. My foundation, highlighter, a few lip tints and blushes are from there. I think from what I use on a regular basis I only have loreal concealer and some cheet eyeshadows that are mass market. 

Generally tho, everything I have is mass market because cool things american youtubers use in their videos are. very. expensive here, so korean ones are good alternative for me. Like, usual maxfactor foundation probably costs around 200 grn, korean be a bit more expensive but I feel like the quality is a bit better would be around 200-400 w hile something like mac or nyx (and those are the most affordable) are 600 and up to 1500 or so…

ANYWAY! I drew a tutorial of what I tend to do on a regular basis as in my go to makeup! 

For step 2, I tend to use soothing/brightening cream right after I wash my face, so I don’t use it right before I do my make up (unless it’s sunscreen)

3. I LOVE BEING DEWY okay, I try to find the good balance between dewy and looking oily, but so far I think it works. My last fave is secret key tattoo cover cushion foundation, but I’m running out of it.. it’s what I used for the past 4 months or so. As for concealer, I use loreal with brush that you have to swirl to get the product out which I don’t remember how to call but it’s subtle, covers bags quite nicely and doesn’t look heavy:3

to be honest mostly I just use my blush as an eyeshadow..Unless i use something brownish. I don’t know the brands I have but they vere like 20 grn back in the day, so. very. cheap stuff.

as for lips, I mostly use matte or semi matte lipsticks or tints, they are easier to smudge and my hair doesn’t stick on it which is very important! 


Generally, from what I learnt, you don’t need a super excessive amount on a daily basis? I don’t have a single bronzer or contour palette or specified brow products and I only use what I have in eyeshadows for that. same ashy brown somehow looks nice as contour and as my eyebrow shadow.

I think it’s hard not to get overwhelmed at the amount of products a lot of people use in their videos, but…I’m not sure, maybe it’s just the quality of what I buy here, but I can’t say primer EVER changed anything for me. Like my foundation still lasts however long it can, with or without it. Or those fancy glowy or moistrusing essanses instagram beauties drop all over their faces, i’m not even sure what are those and how necessary those kinds of things are.

I guess focus more on the products you actually need instead of those people say you absolutely have to purchase.

I’m sorry I don’t know if it helps but I hope it does at least a little bit! 

PS I think there will be many typos and I’m sorry for them, but for some reason I can’t fix them without deleting every single letter in front of my typo:( tumblr text is hard

Pet Store Ettiquite

I figured I’d write this as a little guide, because I see people every day who don’t know or understand these things that make my job really tough or frustrating. Maybe you already knew them, maybe you didn’t, either way I hope at least a few people will learn!

Fish:
If someone is getting you fish, please stand off to the side (not behind them) and not in front of the tank your fish is in. I know you want to watch them catch the fish but employees need to stand right in front of the tank they’re getting into and probably need some big elbow room too. Stand back!

If you want a specific fish, absolutely say so . But! Remember that for some fish this will be impossible to do. Or, the fish are for all intents and purposes identical so don’t try to pick a specific one please. Or at least, don’t get mad or think the employee is incompetent because they tell you they can’t.

Do not ask for help with a fish problem, receive an answer, then tell the employee there is no problem and you did nothing wrong. Please, 99% of the time, you did something wrong. Just fix it.

Do NOT open lids or stick your hand into the tanks!! For any reason!

Birds:
Do not put your hands near or into the cage. Just don’t! 90% of the time you are scaring the bird and giving them lifelong behavioral problems. Remember, they have had around a dozen people try to poke them, scare them, maybe even yell at them or hit their cage. The public is stupid, don’t be a part of that. Politely admire the birds from a distance unless the bird is asking for physical touch.

DO NOT TRY TO OPEN THE BIRD CAGES. I CAN’T BELIEVE I HAVE TO SAY THIS.

This includes going into any employees only areas related to cleaning cages.

Do NOT feed the birds ANYTHING!! PLEASE YOU COULD KILL THEM.

Mammals:
Do NOT open the cages.

Understand that you might not be able to handle the animal. This is, honestly, for the animals protection more than anything. Many people, including those who genuinely think they can competently hold the animal, cannot, and will drop or injure them. I’ve been doing this for 8 years. Chances are, you will drop that hamster so no, you can’t hold it.

If there is an open top type of enclosure, ASK if you may touch the animals inside.

Reptiles:
Same as with mammals, you probably won’t be allowed to hold the animal. It’s just a safety thing, nothing personal. Please respect it and the animal.

Do not crowd the employee as they get you an animal. Lots of reptiles are fast and flighty and having you breathing down their neck will do one of a few things; distract them, make them uncomfortable, or get in their way.

Do not scream or jump if a reptile jumps or runs. I know this might be difficult, but try to expect it so it doesn’t startle you. If you react this way you can startle the employee, which may make them make mistakes or become nervous, which leads to more dropping/failure to catch the animal. Especially if they are new.

General:
Do not take things from the top shelf! It’s dangerous, let an employee help you.

Please give your kids ground rules BEFORE taking them into the store. So many kids, every single day, come in and wreck the place or hit things because they had no idea they weren’t supposed to. If your child is old enough, before going into the store give the following rules

1. Do not touch the cages or tanks. (Look but don’t touch)

2. Stay with me/don’t walk away.

3. No running.

4. Put things back.

Will they listen? Maybe not, but you can’t get mad at them for getting excited to see a hamster and hitting the cage to get it’s attention because hey, no one said anything about that and you’re a kid so why would you think twice before doing it?

This is more for you than anyone but if you are STARTING to run out of cat/dog food, write down the brand/type (Or take a picture) and get some before you’re totally out. Many, many people actually forget what brand of food they feed and get frustrated when they can’t remember or I can’t figure it out (It’s a YELLOW bag. It’s chicken? Maybe beef. Small breed.). Having that picture will help you a lot! And employees. Heck, to save you even more trouble, call first and ask if they carry it and if it’s in stock!

If your dog is aggressive with strangers, small animals, or other dogs… Please do not bring them into a pet store.

On that note please do not bring animals to the pet store that would be in danger because of it. Like a bird without a harness, a hamster or mouse without a carrying case, or a baby ball python you got 3 days ago (please… stop).

i went to look at perfume today and i couldn’t find it so i asked one of the makeup stand ladies to tell me where it is, she was super nice and kept complementing my makeup and we started talking about when I move to manchester in september for uni and she told me she’s actually the area manager for their makeup brand including manchester and she wants me to come work for her when i move there bc she likes my look!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Help A Buddy Out

Words: 4066

All Parts

— You and Bucky are roommates and you ask for him to teach you to be better at sex so you can please another guy —

 

“Y/N!” You heard your roommate shout from across the apartment. “Have you seen my shirt?!”

“Why of course, I know exactly what you do with all your shirts. What type, what color, what brand are you looking for? Wait, let me just look into my Bucky Barnes archives…” You shouted back with way too much sass.

A shirtless Bucky poked his head around the door of your bedroom. “Hardy har har.” He returned before coming fully into the room. “You’re overly sassy for no apparent reason. What’s going on?” He strutted over to the bed and took the book from your hands as he sat down. “Chaucer?” he questioned. “You only subject yourself to Chaucer when you’re in a bad mood.”

“Yea, well I had a change of heart.” You retort as you try to snag your book back. He pulled it further from your reach. “Buck, give me my book back.”

“No, not until you tell me why you’re in full sass mode today.”

“Well, then I’ll never get it back.” You sighed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest and leaned back against the headboard.

“C’mon Y/N. I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.” He spoke as he smiled one of his killer ‘your panties just melted’ smiles. Except, you knew when he smiled like that to you, it was merely platonic. Which sucked.

“Ok fine” you huffed out. “The truth is…” you began as you sat up. “Steve is my best friend.”

Bucky let out a frustrated groan and threw your book back in your general direction. “As if. You know you like me better.” He stood in front of you and stared down; His eyes traveling up and down your body. “If you don’t tell me then I’ll just tickle you until you do.”

You made a face at that. “Don’t do that.”

Bucky started to walk towards the side of the bed where you sat. “You’ve left me with no choice, Doll.” He got closer and grabbed your arm as you tried to scramble away.

“OK, OK!! Don’t do it. I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you!” Bucky released you from his grip.

“There. Was that so hard? Now spill, Doll. Whats going on?”

You sat up once again and brushed your fingers through your hair. “Fine, but stand over there.” Bucky’s eyes travelled to where you pointed.

“You want me to stand in the corner?” His ‘you-cant-be-serious’ look took over his face. “You cant be serious.”

You sighed as you began to explain. “I need you to be as far away from me as possible when I tell you this. Its embarrassing.”

Bucky crossed his arms and began to retreat to the corner. “Fine. Makes total sense, Weirdo.”

You ignored his comment and pulled your knees up under your chin. “Ok. There is no easy way to say this so im just gonna do it.” You sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t know how to have sex. Not well anyway. I have this date with this guy on Friday and its going to be the third date. Everyone knows the third date rule! I don’t want to suck.” You finished with a deep breath, recovering your oxygen levels from your intense rambling.

“You’re still going out with that guy?” Bucky demanded as he began to near you again.

You pointed your finger back at him. “Stay! And yes I am.”

“Why the fuck–?” he started but caught himself before he revealed too much. “Y/N, look, sex is sex. Its, uh, its not that big of a deal. Im sure youll be great.” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s a huge deal, Buck! HUGE! Its sex!”

“You’ve had, uh, sex before right?”

“Twice.”

“Twice.” He repeated.

“Yes, twice. I’m going to suck. I know it.”

“Youre not going to suck. It’s not possible”

“How would you know, Buck? Its not like we’ve had sex.” Bucky couldn’t argue with that, they hadn’t, despite how much he wanted to. “Which is why I’m asking you to help me.” You said, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts. “I want you to make me better at sex.”

Buckys head shot up from the direction of his feet, eyes wide. “WHAT?!”

“Please Buck, you said it yourself: sex is sex. Whats the harm if you teach me the ins and outs of it. No pun intended.” You smirked to yourself.

“You’re my best friend!” he spoke in an attempt to find an excuse.

“Friends have sex all the time. You’d just be helping a friend out.”

Bucky thought of another excuse. “What makes you think I can teach you anything?”

You chuckled “I think the plethora of random girls that scream their heads off in pleasure and beg for more is enough for me to know how good you are.”

Bucky blushed. “You hear that?”

“They’re like banshees, Bucky.”

“Are not.” He huffed

“Are too” You returned. Bucky crossed and uncrossed his arms before shifting his weight to his left foot. “Bucky, please. We are always there for each other when the other needs something.”

Bucky let out a sharp laugh. “Yea, but usually its when you want me to pick up your prescriptions from the pharmacy or fix the plumbing.”

“Buck, I need you. I know this is slightly different, but whats the harm?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky pulled his phone from his back pocket to check the time. “I have to go meet Steve. Just let me think about it.” He pocketed his phone again and turned to leave the room.

“Don’t forget a shirt!” You called after him.

Bucky opened the door to the café and scanned the room for his friend. When he saw the over compensating build and light hair he started towards one of the window tables. “Steve.”

Steve looked up from his view of the city and smiled as he saw his oldest friend. “Bucky, its good to see you.”

Bucky took a seat opposite of Steve ordered a coffee when the waitress came around. “Hows things?”

“Great.” Steve began. “Sharon is great. We got a cat.”

Bucky chuckled. “A cat? Since when are you a cat person?”

“Since Sharon is a cat person.” He smirked. “But, whats going on with you? Hows Y/N?”

“Funny that you bring her up.” Bucky said before he smiled and thanked the waitress for his coffee.

“Oh yea?” Steve smiled. “Finally tell her how you feel, did you?

“Yea right. Cause that would go over soooo well.”

“Oh c’mon man, you’ve liked her since she moved in.”

“Doesn’t matter, she doesn’t feel the same. She, uh, asked me this morning to help her become a pro at sex.”

Steve choked on his coffee and reached for a napkin to clean the drops from his chin. “What!?”

“Yea.” Bucky signed and sipped his drink

“What exactly does that entail?”

“She wants us to have sex.” Bucky replied nonchalantly. “She wants us to have sex until shes good at it, apparently.

“Wow. Why?”

“Shes got this date on Friday. Says it’s the third date so they HAVE to have sex for some stupid reason.” He huffed.

“Well,” Steve started “Think of the Bright side: Youll get to have sex with the girl you love.”

“Smooth attempt at making me feel better, pal, but there is no bright side. She wants me for the wrong reason. Its not like she loves me back.”

“All the more reason to tell her. Maybe she just hasn’t thought of you in that way yet and telling her may open her eyes.”

“I don’t know, man. Shes pretty determined. I think if she liked me she’d know.”

“Just think about it, Buck”

“Its all I think about. Which makes me think I cant go through with this.”

“Oh, you definitely cannot go through with this.”

Bucky reentered his apartment after a long and thoughtful conversation with Steve. He had a very valid point: there was no way Bucky could go through with this, but the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to disappoint Y/N.  She felt insecure and that was the last thing Bucky wanted. So he could do this just once, right?

“Bucky?” Y/N called, stepping out of her bedroom. “Are you alright? You seem a little dazed.” She continued once she saw his facial expression.

“Yea well what do you expect?” Bucky mumbled to himself as Y/N entered the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.

“Did you say something?”

“What? No.” He hurriedly spit out. Y/N returned her attention to the coffee maker. “So, I was thinking…” she met his eyes as he continued. “We could try what you proposed. Just once. I’ll tell you what you want to know from that one time, but no more. Deal?”

Y/N squealed in appreciation. “Oh Bucky, you have no idea what this means to me. Thank you so much.”

She jumped into his arms and wrapped her own around his neck. “Yea. I mean what are friends for right?”

“Right!” she smiled. She was so beautiful that he almost kissed her right then and there, but he quickly stepped away.

“So, uh, how do you want to go about this?” Bucky questioned as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I say we just jump into it. I mean, this is practically for science. No need to beat around the bush.”

Bucky felt his heart crumble just a bit. Hearing her say those words was the last thing he wanted. If anything, he wanted this to mean something to her in the slightest. But clearly it didn’t. “Alright.” He spoke clearly frustrated. He reached for the hem of his shirt and aimed to pull it over his head, but was stopped by Y/Ns soft hand on top of his.

“Let me.” She lifted his shirt off for him and Bucky thought he had never been more turned on. Y/N pulled hers off and slipped out of her sleep shorts then turned and strutted off into her bedroom.

“Jesus.” Bucky mumbled as he followed after her.

When he stepped through the door, she was standing there waiting for him in just her underwear. He eased himself closer to her and she reached for the belt around his hips. ‘This is so bad’ he thought as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up to him. She looked into his eyes and down to his lips. Slowly, she reached up and pressed her lips to his in the softest of motions. Bucky fell completely into it and Y/N placed her hand on the back of his neck in an attempt to pull him closer, but Bucky pulled away. He couldn’t do this. It just wasn’t right.

“Bucky?” she whispered as she placed her hands on either sides of his face. “Whats the matter?”

Bucky gripped her hands in his own and removed them from his face. “I cant do this.” He spoke so quietly; it was practically to himself.

“What?” Her face twisted in concern.

“I cant do this.” Bucky said a little louder so she could hear him, but this time it was laced with a bit of frustration.

“Why?”

Bucky took a few steps away from her. “I just cant.” He grabbed for his shirt, but Y/N stepped up into his space and grabbed it from him before he could put it on. “Y/N, give me my shirt back.”

“No, Buck. Not until you tell me whats going on.”

“Fine, keep it.” He huffed as he headed for the door.

“Bucky!” Y/N yelled after him. “Bucky, wait!”

Y/N chased him out the door and into their tiny living room. She grabbed his arm to keep him from getting further away from her. “Y/N, Stop!” Bucky yelled as he tried to break free from her grasp. She was deceptively strong.

“Bucky, please just tell me whats going on.” He could hear the sadness in her voice. It almost broke his heart. “Please.” She whispered. Bucky turned to face her with a cold expression on his face. He figured it was better than showing her his true emotions in this moment. ‘Did I do something wrong?” He met her eyes in shock. That was the last possible problem. “Do you not want me?” Slowly, tears began to fall down her cheeks.

Bucky sighed. “That is not possible.” He whispered

“Which?” she questioned

“Neither. You didn’t do anything wrong and its definitely not because I don’t want you, OK?” He reached up and brushed the tears from her cheeks.

“Then what is it?”

“Nothing, Y/N”

“Youre lying.” She was starting to get angry.

“No, Im n-“ he started, but was interrupted.

“Yes, you are!” Y/N was a full on mix of pissed and distressed. “Tell me!” she yelled.

“Y/N” Bucky sighed

“TELL ME!” She screamed again.

“I LOVE YOU!” Bucky yelled in her face before he’d even realized what he was doing. He breathed heavily, eyes looking directly at her before he stepped back and looked to his feet. “I love you.” He spoke again, much quieter.

“Bucky..”

“No, just don’t.” Bucky rushed past her back to her room and put his shirt back on. When he got back to the living room, Y/N was still standing there in shock. “I have to go.” He grabbed his keys of the hook and slammed the door, knocking Y/N out of her shock.

Sharon opened the door to her and her boyfriends apartment to find Bucky standing in the doorway, his head hung low, soaked to the bone. It must’ve been pouring outside. “Bucky, come in.” When he didn’t make a move to enter the apartment, she grabbed him by his arm and slowly pulled him inside. “Steve!?” she yelled “Can you come here?”

Steve walked out from their bedroom. “Yea, babe- Bucky?”

“He just showed up. Im going to go get some towels and an extra shirt.” She said ask she walked Bucky over to the couch and helped him sit down before walking to the bathroom. Steve inched closer to his friend and sat down across from him.

“Buck?” he spoke, but got no response. “Bucky?” he tried again. “What happened?”

Bucky looked up from his hands, but refused to meet Steve’s eyes. “I told her.”

“Well, that’s good isn’t it?” Steve questioned.

“No, Steve, its not. We were about to have sex?”

“You were going to do it!?”

“Just once. She was doubting herself and you know how I get when she does that. I was only going to do it once and help her. I thought I could suppress my feelings for one time.”

“Bucky…”

“I kissed her once and I couldn’t do it. Before I knew it, I was yelling that I love her and now im here.”

Steve placed a hand on his friends shoulder as his girlfriend returned with the shirt and towels. She placed them next to Bucky to use as he needed.

“What did she say?” Steve asked.

“Nothing.” Bucky sighed. “She just stood there. So I left. Well, actually I started to leave the second after I told her.”

“You didn’t give her a chance to say anything?”

“I couldn’t, Steve. I just had to get out of there.”

“Oh, Buck.” Steve started “Just stay here tonight, ok?” he sighed. “But tomorrow you have to talk to her.”

Buckys eyes widened. “No, Steve. I cant.”

“You can. And you will. She is the only girl you’ve ever given a fuck about, never mind the fact that she and Sharon get along great. You’ve made yourself a nice little mess and you’re going to fix it so we can all still be friends. Im too used to our little foursome now to have it fall apart at the seams.”

“Arent you the one who told me to tell her how I felt?”

Steve stood from his chair. “Yea. I was thinking more of a sweet scenario where you buy her flowers and don’t bolt after you tell her.”

Bucky grumbled and wrapped a bright, pink towel around his shoulders. “Well you didn’t specify.”

“I figured it was implied, Buck” Steve began to turn towards is bedroom. “Couch is all yours for tonight. Enjoy, stretch out, think of ways to get your girl. But im gonna turn in. My lady is waiting.”

Bucky made a face. “Steve, I swear if you guys have sex 20 feet away from me…”

“Chill Buck, Sharon and I are hardcore cuddlers.”

“That’s almost worse.”

“Oh please, Buck if you had Y/N you’d cuddle nonstop.”

“Don’t remind me that I don’t have her.” Bucky returned as he stretched out onto the couch.

“Goodnight Bucky.” Steve sighed and retreated to his bedroom where is girlfriend waited for him. Lucky bastard Bucky thought.

Bucky jolted awake at the sound of 3 sharp knocks. He could have sworn he imagined it and was getting ready to settle back into sleep when he heard it again. He grabbed his phone from his pant pocket which had long been discarded onto the floor halfway through the night. It was 3:30 am. What the hell. Bucky groaned as he sat up and walked his shirtless, underwear clad body into Steve and Sharon’s room. Sharon was nestled up against Steves side and their cat sat on his chest, rising and falling in rhythm with Steves breathing. Bucky shuffled forward to Steves side and nudged his shoulder until he woke up.

Steves eyes slowly opened and looked into those of his best friend. “Bucky, what the hell?”

“Little early for cursing don’t you think, Cap?”

Steve sighed and laid his head back on his pillow. “What do you want, Buck?” He whispered in an effort not to stir his girlfriend.

“Theres a knock on your door” Bucky spoke nonchalantly as he pointed in its general direction.

“What?”

“Theres a knock-“ Bucky started but what interrupted by the knock itself. “See?”

Steve sat up slightly, causing the cat to jump of his chest and Sharon to slowly shift in her sleep. “And you woke me because…?”

“I don’t know. Its 3:30 am. Its dark. Im vulnerable. It could be a psycho killer and im not in the mood.”

Steve pushed the sheets of his legs and sat up. “Are you kidding me, Buck? Youre the fucking winter soldier.”

Steve began to walk towards the door as the knocking continued with Bucky hot on his heels. “Yea, well you’re Captain America. We are equally as capable of opening the door, but this is your apartment so I figured id let you. Just in case it is a psycho killer, youd be able to say you defended your own domicile.”

“Gee thanks.” Steve huffed as he reached for the doorknob. The door opened to reveal a slightly disheveled Y/N in none other than her pajamas. Bucky and Steve stared at her for a moment before Steve turned to Bucky. “Well, it’s for you. Totally get why you were scared though. She looks like a murderous demon.” Steve sighed sarcastically. “Im going back to bed. Lovely to see you though Y/N. Sharon misses you like crazy. I mean it’s been like what, 3 weeks since we’ve seen you. Crazy how time flies, we should really-“ Steve continued before behind interrupted by Bucky.

“Steve go to bed.” Bucky spoke without taking his eyes off Y/N.

“Oh geez, fine. Goodnight Y/N”

“Goodnight Steve. “Y/N returned with a feeble smile.

Once Steve was definitely in his room, Bucky turned back to face Y/N. “What are you doing here?”

“Bucky, we need to talk.”

“Look, Y/N if this is about earlier then theres no need. I-“

“I love you, Bucky.” Y/N interrupted.

It was Buckys turn to stand there in shock.

“Bucky?”

Bucky snapped back to his senses and was less than pleased. “Is this some kind of sick joke to you? That’s really low Y/N. I spill my guts and you have the audacity to make fun of me for it.” Bucky turned back into the apartment but Y/n followed him in, shutting the door behind her.

“Bucky, im not lying.”

“You are too. You are supposed to go out on a date this weekend. You don’t love me. If you did, you wouldn’t date that idiot.”

“Bucky you said you love me and you had sex 3 days ago. Not with me, I might add.” Y/N replied laced with a little frustration.

“So? I had to get my frustrations out somehow. I’m not the one who suggested we have casual buddy sex.”

“Bucky, I was just really confused ok? I really thought that if we had sex once that I’d get over you. I don’t even have a date this weekend. I broke up with Mike after he slapped our waitress’ ass as she walked by on our last date.”

“Prick” Bucky mumbled. “So you tricked me into sex?”

“Tricked is such a harsh word.”

“But an accurate one” Bucky finished.

“We didn’t even have sex Bucky. I didn’t even think id be able to go through with it. I just wanted to propose the idea to see how youd react. To see if you wanted me too. I almost died when you pulled away from me.”

Bucky looked up into her eyes. “Yea, well you got what you wanted didn’t you?”

Y/N detected a hint of anger in his words. “Are you actually mad at me? Bucky, we love each other. Or at least we did a couple hours ago.”Bucky refused to speak. It lasted so long that Y/N turned to leave. “Fine, Bucky. Ill just go” Y/N was stopped by a firm grip on her wrist. She looked up and Bucky pulled her to him, kissing her like his life depended on it. Y/N kissed back with as much ferocity as she could. It was passionate and sexy and melting. Y/N had wanted this for so long and it was amazing. They pulled apart only to breathe and Bucky brushed his fingers through her hair.

“We love each other?” He spoke as he rested his forehead on hers.

“Yea, we do”

“I cant believe it.” Bucky chuckled. “I’ve been in love with you since you moved in.”

“Two years, Four months, and eighteen days.” Y/N whispered.

“What?” Buckys head snapped up in shock.

“That’s how long we’ve lived together.”

“Wow.” Bucky stepped back from her embrace and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

“I know because that’s how long ive loved you too.”

“WHAT?!”

“What?”

“You’ve loved me that long too? You had a boyfriend when you moved in.”

“I know, which is weird now that I think about it because he let me move in with another man. He said he wasn’t worried, but he should have been.”

“I’m the reason you dumped that guy a month after you moved in?” Bucky questioned. Y/N only nodded in response. “I cant believe it.” Bucky sighed. “I hated that guy!”

Y/N giggled and moved to cup his face with both hands. “That’s what he told me.”

“Oh, yea right. How would he know?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t see it either, but he insisted that you liked me and wanted to kill him with your metal arm.”

Bucky chuckled and crossed is arms over his chest. “Well, the guy wasn’t as big of an idiot as I thought.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Y/N laughed.

Bucky grabbed Y/Ns hand and walked her over to the couch. He laid down and pulled her on top of him.

“Bucky what are you doing?”

“I’m getting ready to sleep with the girl I love.” He replied as he readjusted his pillow.

“Um, shouldn’t we go home? You know, since you aren’t mad at me anymore?”

“Oh please, doll. I was never mad at you. More just mad at myself. Also, Sharon and Steve miss you didn’t you hear? And all I want to do is take you home and stay in bed with you for days, but I figure I owe them a favor for letting me stay and whine. So, tomorrow we can all go out and they’ll stop complaining about never seeing you, THEN we will stay in bed for days.”

“Ah, great plan, Barnes.”

“Yea, I thought so.” He smiled his cheeky grin. “But for now we will sleep together and actually sleep.”

 tips for high heel beginners 👠💋

-don’t start out with super high heels. it’s better to start out a little smaller. they don’t have to be full on kitten heels but try to keep the heel 3 inches or shorter.

-the chunkier/thicker the heel= the easier to walk in

-don’t be scared of platform heels. while they might look intimidating, they’re actually more stable and easier to wear as opposed to your standard heel because a) there’s less incline and your toes are closer to your heel and b) even if they’re high, the heels tend to be chunkier, so you have more support.

-heels aren’t the most comfortable shoes in the world but if your foot hurts as soon as your put them on, don’t buy them.

- when it comes to heels,it’s always better to size up then to size down. when in doubt, opt for a larger size.

- when walking on a flat surface, always remember to walk heel to toe, one foot in front of the other. 

-s l o w d o w n. you might think you can run in heels, but you probably can’t even power walk. take smaller steps and walk a little slower than usual.

-practice. walk around your house in heels for a while to get the hang of it.

-whenever you have the opportunity to sit down, do so.

-avoid walking on grass. if in some case you absolutely have to walk on it, try to focus your weight on your toes; almost like you’re trying to tip toe. your heel should still touch the ground, but lightly.

-avoid walking on cobblestone or any other sidewalk that is uneven or has cracks in it at all costs.

- when going up stairs, tilt sideways a bit. this way you’ll be able to put your entire foot on each stair and you have a less of a chance of tumbling down and busting your ass. also, hold the handrail at all times.

-if you have to stand for a while, switch putting your body weight from one foot to the other. this way you’ll be able to give each foot a break and it’s less painful.

-use cushion and gel insoles, they’ll make your heels a little more comfortable and you’ll be able to wear them for longer periods of time. doesn’t matter what brand, you could even get them at the dollar store; they don’t have to be fancy. 

- never take your heels off and walk barefoot. not only could you step on glass or something sharp but that’s just nasty and very tacky looking. always have a cute pair of sandals or flats on hand in case shit gets real.

-angel

someone -

give me the opportunity to interview Harry Styles. I would ask the real questions, such as

-describe your relationship with music

-why was learning instruments important to you

-how do you approach fashion, what types of clothes draw you in

-how much input did you have in the Another Man photo shoot? what was your goal by being a part of that magazine issue

-where did ‘treat people with kindness’ originate

-why did you choose that font in particular, for your brand

- what’s your favorite piece from your own merch

-why does the end of SOTT go directly into the beginning of Only Angel, if they’re separated on the album

-if you had a dog what would you name him/her

-what is your philosophy on facing struggles in life

-what is 'art’ to you

-what does your last text to Niall say

- which is your favorite Gucci suit

- do you have anything in your twitter drafts

- what is your favorite song on Flicker

- what part of the writing process creates the highest sense of vulnerability, for you

-what is a lyric you favor that didnt make the album

- do the voice you did in Woman right now without the effects

- why do you like bukowski so much

- what’s on your shower song playlist

- why is it called kiwi

and many more Qs.

get me as an interviewer soon thx

Zodiac Signs at the Grocery Store

Aries: 
“What did I come here for? Whatever I want.”

Taurus:
“I came here for 3 things… but that wine and chocolate though.”

Gemini:
“Forget the bread I came here to listen to the soccer mom drama and the peach at check out.”

Originally posted by gameraboy

Cancer:
“No you need this spice to make it just like my grandmother’s recipe.”

Originally posted by gifsme

Leo:
“Store brand? What are we savages?”

Virgo:
“That is NOT on the list! Wait does that say two for one?”

Libra: 
“But it says it’s a new flavor.”

Originally posted by dyx

Scorpio: 
“I’m only here because I’m hungry… oh and I might have known my ex was going to be here.”

Sagittarius: 
“Who has time to grocery shop?” *orders groceries online or delivery*

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Capricorn: 
“Did you say free samples?”

Originally posted by sheerdisneymagic

Aquarius: 
“Befriending the deli guy opens your world to so many possibilities.”

Pisces: 
*Overfills the basket, obviously needed a cart* “Crap”

  • me after just joining the fandom: there's so many important questions to ask after watching death note! who's in the right, L or Light? at what point is it too late to find redemption? if Light hadn't found the death note, could he and L have met and become friends in another way? do the ends justify the means?
  • me after 2 years: is light gay? would he have worn crocs? what would death note be like in 2015?
  • me after 4 years: what is the exact brand of khakis that light is wearing in episode 4, and what do they say about his socioeconomic standing? so many. important questions. so much. left to talk about.
170815 The War Fansign: Kyungsoo fanaccounts

@1248_room
Me: When did you start to raise Meokmul and Huchu?
KS: Ah, because I’ve always liked dogs~
Me: Ah…. I meant the opportunity to!!
KS: The opportunity to! (eyes get big) My parents used to dislike dogs! But I was determined and kept pushing until they said yes.
Me: Ah~ so they’re at your parents’ home??
KS: Yes~~

@LOVELYRIM0408: I forgot everything as soon as I made eye contact with Kyungsoo… I told him my wedding was in December and his eyes got even bigger as he congratulated me extremely earnestly haha. [On my request] his suggested nuptial song was For Life and when I asked if he could come sing it personally for us, he said “I’d like to….” haha. Kyungsoo, thank you sincerely for your suggestion and blessing

@luv_in0114
Me: You know how Mr. Jo Jungseok calls you a s..son of a bitch in Brother?
KS: Ah, yes !
Me: I have these dog-bird figures.. [t/n: s.o.b. and dog-bird are both spelled ‘gaesae’]
KS: Ah? They’re really called gaesae?
Me: Yes!
KS: There’s really something called gaesae??
Me: Ah n..no there’s not actually something called gaesae, these are just figures !
KS: (looks at boxes laughing) Ah so I have a chance of getting one of these four?
Me: Yes ! Please open it later~
KS: (was already opening it) Pfthahahaha

The dog-bird Kyungsoo got was the pug-bird ! When he asked me if “there was really something called gaesae..???” he was really serious about the question…

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