Please let people help you, anorexia isnt funny
thank you. I know anorexia isnt funny. Its the way I cope with things a lot of times, a smile and “oh look everything is ok and fun^^” I really dont talk about the ugly side of whats going on because I really dont want anyone to worry^^ Its why I dont talk about what my calorie intake is, purges, fear foods, what I actually weigh and what my real BMI is.
I will say this though, real talk. Im doing a lot better then I was 2 weeks ago(I think its been 2 weeks, idk my sense of time is so messed up). Im starting to feel more alive and not like a walking corpse (hint why I went from taco queen to corpse queen) and I dont have anymore chest and organ pains anymore. Its taking time, but Im turning things around. Im still dropping weight because my cal intake is still below my BMR (AN sub type restrictive), but Ive gotten it high enough to at least slow down the weight loss and every 4 days I try to raise it slightly to show to myself that nothing bad will happen. I try not to do to much to not burn calories. I really do hate having this. Ive recovered and relapsed before in the past, and I know I will recover again. I really need to learn a healthy relationship with food tbh, I dont think I ever had one.
Anyways Im sorry to worry you or anyone else, just know Im trying my hardest to recover, yes Im having a hard time, but I will recover and everything will be ok<3