what's with the chicken guys

anonymous asked:

the chicken is penis shaped

I am neither a penis nor a chicken expert, but my nonprofessional opinion is no, I do not think so! I think the chicken is decidedly chicken-shaped. What do you guys think?

youtube

there’s a telescope on the new horizon lunar colony map, with voicelines specific for each hero when they interact with it

4

Hey friends, it’s Meg!

A really late TUTOR TUESDAY on antlers which ARE NOT horns, so ya’ll can stop razzin’ me about not putting them on last weeks tutorial! If you have any tutorial recs send ‘em in here or my personal! Keep practicing, have fun, and I’ll see you next week!

9

“Also reading, reading non-fiction… reading fiction kind of amps up my anxiety sometimes.” (SFCon 2016)

Pajamas

Originally posted by charrytommoto

Yoongi x reader

Genre: Fluff, romance

AU: best friend!AU x Jungkook

Warnings: Suggestive language, swearing

Words: 4170

Author/admin: HO

Beta: FeeFee

Request:

Anonymous said to kpop-reads: Your best friend, Jungkook, text invites you over to the BTS dorm and says it’s fine that you’re only wearing pjs cause he knows it’ll fluster his Yoongi hyung 

Author’s note: I wasn’t going to write anything for this blog and just remain a Beta. But this request was too good to pass up. Thanks for the glorious idea!

Summary:
In which your best friend has his friends’ best interests at heart, despite being a little shit.

Keep reading

Please ask I'm bored

Hey look, actual “unique” questions
1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
5: Do you like to use post-it notes?
6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
8: Do you have freckles?
9: Do you always smile for pictures?
10: What is your biggest pet peeve?
11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
12: Have you ever peed in the woods?
13: What about pooped in the woods?
14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?
16: How many people have you slept with this week?
17: What size is your bed?
18: What is your Song of the week?
19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
20: Do you still watch cartoons?
21: Whats your least favorite movie?
22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
23: If you’re a girl, bra size? If you’re a guy, pants size?
24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
25: What is your favorite food?
26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
27: Last person you kissed/kissed you?
28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
31: Can you change the oil on a car?
32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
33: Ever ran out of gas?
34: Favorite kind of sandwich?
35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?
36: What is your usual bedtime?
37: Are you lazy?
38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?
40: Are you horny?
41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
43: Are you stubborn?
44: Who is better…Leno or Letterman?
45: Ever watch soap operas?
46: Are you afraid of heights?
47: Do you sing in the car?
48: Do you sing in the shower?
49: Do you dance in the car?
50: Ever used a gun?
51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?
53: Is Christmas stressful?
54: Ever eat a pierogi?
55: Favorite type of fruit pie?
56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
57: Do you believe in ghosts?
58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
59: Take a vitamin daily?
60: Wear slippers?
61: Wear a bath robe?
62: What do you wear to bed?
63: First concert?
64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
65: Nike or Adidas?
66: Cheetos Or Fritos?
67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
69: Ever take dance lessons?
70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
71: Can you curl your tongue?
72: Ever won a spelling bee?
73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
74: Own any record albums?
75: Own a record player?
76: Regularly burn incense?
77: Ever been in love?
78: Who would you like to see in concert?
79: What was the last concert you saw?
80: Hot tea or cold tea?
81: Tea or coffee?
82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?
83: Can you swim well?
84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
85: Are you patient?
86: DJ or band, at a wedding?
87: Ever won a contest?
88: Ever have plastic surgery?
89: Which are better black or green olives?
90: Can you knit or crochet?
91: Best room for a fireplace?
92: Do you want to get married?
93: If married, how long have you been married?
94: Who was your HS crush?
95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
96: Do you have kids?
97: Do you want kids?
98: Whats your favorite color?
99: Do you miss anyone right now?

just LOOK

i’m so-

can you believe chanbaek invented chicken 

Megan and I bestow unto you this gif of Arya and a Chicken.

Just Friends – Part 1

Daryl x Reader Smut Warning! 18+ Only! NSFW

Request: i just discovered this blog and i’m already in love :) i’d like to request one where the reader and daryl are friends with benefits after a night of drinking led to them discovering that they’re both into rough, kinky sex. they get more intimate with each other (maybe daryl shows his scars), but they still wont admit their feelings for each other until daryl gets jealous and possessive over her and they get together. sry if its too specific, im just excited i found some good daryl smut ;)

Summary: Daryl and the reader share a few drinks one night and the reader let’s her intentions be known. They get it on and Daryl tells her that it can only be sex between them; to him, love is illogical in this end-of-days world. The reader and Daryl carry on for a few weeks and start to get closer and more intimate with one another. Daryl wrestles with falling for the reader as he begins to realize he has deeper feelings for her. Beginning of Season 4. The Prison.

Part 2: (COMING SOON) Reader starts getting closer to the man Rick and Glenn saved, trying to help him regain his sense of purpose in the world. Daryl notices her spending more and more time with him and gets really jealous and angry. He claims her and finally admits he loves her and that he doesn’t want anyone else. Beginning of Season 4. The Prison.

—–

Y/N looked over at Daryl, letting her eyes roam down his dirty, sweaty arms. They were perfectly toned and chiseled just like the rest of his body. Your eyes roamed down him, taking in his bare chest underneath his leather vest, and down to his black jeans, which held his favorite red handkerchief in his back pocket. You pause your eyes on his perfect ass and lick your lips.

You watch from a ways up the yard as Rick and Daryl discuss something serious. Rick was always so serious, you knew why, but every once in a while you wished he would lighten up a little. Your group had been safe here for nearly three months now, you had begun to build gardens and raise chickens and pigs. For what you thought, you guys didn’t have it too bad. Sure, The Governor was still on the loose, but that crazy nut bag probably cut and ran. If he knew what was good for him.

You absentmindedly kick and stomp your boot into the ground as you watch Daryl nod along to Rick’s words, whatever they were. You smile noticing Rick patting Daryl’s back and walking back out into the big prison yard, toward the fence. Daryl drops his head a moment, wiping the sweat that accumulate on his brow away, staring down in the hot sun. You felt your body light up at the sight of him glistening in the Georgia heat. You bite your lip and rub your legs together, creating friction that you desperately needed whenever he was in your line of sight.

You had it bad for Daryl and everyone knew it. Well, everyone except for Daryl himself. He was pretty clueless about such things, you would try and flirt with him and it would roll off him as if he didn’t have a clue. You had been dropping hints for months now, doing whatever you could to get his attention, with no such luck. He had become slowly more comfortable casually talking with you, which you noticed he didn’t do with anyone else.

You smile and run over to Daryl who is walking back up toward the cellblock area. You quickly turn your shoulders and stride alongside him, when you reach his body. 

He looks over at you stoically, “Hey, Y/N.” He says blankly, briefly locking eyes with yours before turning back to his destination.

Keep reading

How to be Perfect Shits, by Woo Bin and Ji Hoo

Step 01: Push for reconciliation from idiot besties who are too stubborn to stay together for a full fucking week.

Step 02: Allow moron biffle to spout prideful nonsense.

Step 03: Ask for the full story because ain’t no one believe moron biffle is completely innocent.

Step 05: Casually create a set up as you see Moron Biffle #2 enter behind Moron Biffle #1.

Step 06: Allow idiot to continue spewing shit.

Step 07: Tauntingly send apologetic girlfriend away.

Chapter X | Tell Me - A Harry Styles Uni AU

Main Story page is here.

Song for the Playlist - Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley

Instagrams are here - (none for this chapter, again, because the app is still being a dick)

Word Count - 5500…ish

“Course it wasn’t real, you goose,” he laughed. “Unless you want it to be real? I’m sure we can arrange that in Vegas…”

“Harry, don’t,” she warned him. Harry enjoyed doing this thing where he would sit with a smirk on his face as if he was planning something but would never tell Eden what it was.

“Whaaaat?”

“Stop that…you’re doing that thing?”

Keep reading

Cheaters

*Jisoo hiding in a closet on the phone*

Jisoo: You heard what I said…Don’t play with me..when do I ever back down from a challenge?

*Jennie rips door open and takes Jisoos phone*
Jennie: AH HA! I knew you were cheating on me!

Jisoo: Babe, it’s not what you think. I’m just ordering chicken.

Jennie: HA as if I’ll believe-
Guy on the phone: Uh ma'am? I know you wanted the number 7 but that feeds about 9 people?

*Jisoo snatches the phone back*
Jisoo: I meant what I said, give me my chicken!

Sidney Crosby - Lets have a drink.

Originally posted by laurastacey

I apologize in advance for this being specific. But I would really love if someone wrote about the reader kicking down Sidney Crosbys hotel room door (bc wrong number was actually planning to storm into cheating boyfriends room) all angry but oh you’re fucking beautiful!

You were standing in the hall of the hotel at room 200, debating if what you were doing was the best thing.

Two things could go wrong.

One, you find your boyfriend in the room with a girl that’s not you.

Or,

Two, you find out that you were being a crazy girlfriend.

Either way, you knew nothing good was coming out of today. So, here you stood at the door of 200 thinking about what you should do. A burst of anger had boomed itself though your body. With, that you began to pound on the door.

“I know you’re in there, asshole!” You yelled as you kept hitting the door.

“Fucking, chicken!”

“What the hell!?” a man’s voice said as the door to room 200 opened. Only it was not the man you were hoping for.

“You’re not Michael.” You said as you swallowed hard.

The stranger’s face soften as he saw your sad face fall. The first thing that popped into his head was to hug you. You, however did not fight it. A hot man hugging you after you angrily knock on his door and screamed at him.

“I’m sorry. I’m not normally this crazy. I was just trying to find my boyfriend’s room, and I guess I got the number wrong. God! This night just get better.” You cried into the stranger’s bare chest.

You felt him laugh.

“I grew up with a sister, I know how it can be. So, what did Michael do?” He asked as you pulled away to look in his eyes.

“What?”

“Well, it’s not everyday a guys gets called a “fucking chicken” by a beautiful girl.” He smiled as he grabbed a tissues and handed it to you.
“He’s cheated on, at this hotel. Or at least I think he is. That’s why I came here.” You shyly said.

“I’m Sid by the way. What makes you think he’s cheating?” Sid asked as he hugged you again.

“I heard a girl calling him baby when I called him. Oh, Y/N.” You said as you stepped back.

“Ouch! I’ve been there before. My Ex did the same.” Sid said giving you a soft smile.

Just as you were about to say sorry again, you heard a door to the right of you open and a giggly girl come out with a man.

Michael.

You saw him grab her from the back and placed a deep kiss to her lips. Sid must have know who it was, because he wrapped you in his arms.

“Come on Y/N, let’s have a drunk.” He said as he pulled you into his room.

-Julianne  

Up next: Alec Martinez (smut)

anonymous asked:

Messy twister with both Zhan Zheng Xi x jian Yi and mo Guanshan x he tian

Confession: I’ve never played Twister (it was never a popular game here), though I’d heard of it. Messy Twister does sound fun. I wrote this as a continuation of the napping drabble. Thanks for the prompt!

9) Jian Yi x Zhan Zheng Yi, He Tian x Mo Guan Shan ~ You say TWISTER and I raise with MESSY TWISTER (paint!)


“Tian Heee,” Jian Yi whined, struggling to get into his friend’s apartment, his face squished against the door Tian was trying to shut. “You’re the only one who’s got space for this, pleeease!”

“I said no! Why did you come here without even asking first?” He Tian grunted. “I’m busy right now.”

“Oh? Could it be… you have a girl?” Yi’s eyes suddenly seemed to glitter. “Zhan Zheng Xi, lend me your strength!” he yelled.

“Leave him alone,” Zheng Xi droned, without moving.

“Hyaaaaaaaaaaa!” Yi screamed as he shouldered the door and pushed Tian away. “I’m sorry to interrupt, miss!” he said in a singsong voice, prancing in, “but I’ve got business with this guy and I was wondering if…” The words died in his lips as he saw Guan Shan sleepily emerging from underneath a blanket. “Mo?”

“What’s…” Guan Shan’s face went pale as he realized what his position was. “No-nothing happened! We were just sleeping!”

“Together?”

“Yes. No! Yes, but no!”

“Which is it?”

“It was just a nap!” Guan Shan shouted, his face redder than his hair as he scrambled to get up. “I’m leaving now!”

“Where do you think you’re going? I thought you were staying over for dinner,” Tian said. He was holding a bag that Zhan Xi had handed to him. “These guys brought snacks and there are leftovers, so you might as well stay.”

“Yes, the more the merrier!” Yi beamed as he tackled Guan Shan and pinned him down. “Besides we’re all friends now, right?” He leaned over and murmured, “But are you and He Tian just friends or—”

“What the chicken dick are you saying?!”

“Hands off that guy,” Tian said, grabbing Yi by the back of his t-shirt and pushing him onto Zheng Xi. “You, this guy’s your responsibility.”

Xi sighed. “I told you he wouldn’t be into it. We should just go back.”

“Eh? No, no way! Tian He, what do you have against Twister? Could it be you don’t trust your luck?” Jian Yi patted his friend on the back. “Oooh… Or is it that you’re not flexible enough?”

Carefully avoiding both of them, Guan Shan approached Zheng Xi. “What is this ‘Twister’ thing? The game?”

“Jian Yi found some video online where people use paint on each color, so he wants to try that.”

“You don’t look like the kind that’ll go along with stupid ideas,” Guan Shan remarked, raising his eyebrows.

Zheng Xi shrugged. “It’s not going to kill me. Giving it at least a try, I mean.”

Guan Shan blinked. Ever since they’d fought, Zhan Zheng Xi had somehow become an enigma in his mind. It wasn’t as if there was bad blood between them these days. In fact, since he’d never meant to attack him, once the problem was settled, it was really over. He’d seen that guy and Jian Yi together all the time, but it wasn’t as if there was something between them, right? He Tian had said they were close friends, but Guan Shan still wondered if “close friends” would throw themselves into the fire the way that guy had done for Jian Yi.

Then again, that was pretty much what He Tian had done when he’d beaten She Li, wasn’t it?

Giving it at least a try, he’d said.

“I’ve decided we’re going to play with them,” Tian announced, being applauded by Jian Yi. “So let’s move everything to the terrace before the sun goes down.”

Zheng Xi patted Guan Shan on the shoulder. “I don’t know what Jian Yi told him to persuade him, but… Good luck. Don’t let your guard down.”


“YES!” Guan Shan grinned, having won the rock-paper-scissors game to decide who would be the referee for the first game. “So I’ll be spinning for you all? Your hands are gonna get dirty and—He Fucking Tian, wipe that smirk off your face!”

“Ah, I didn’t say anything and he knows me so well,” Tian sighed, leaving Zheng Xi confused.

“I’ll go first, I’ll go first!” Jian Yi claimed, his eyes sparkling dangerously.

“Okay… Left foot, red.”

“Okay!” The puddle of tempera paint went spurt! as his foot landed on it.

“What a strange sound,” He Tian commented.

“Zhan Zheng Xi,” Guan Shan called, spinning once more. “Right foot, red.”

Spuuurrrt. “Argh, disgusting!” Zheng Xi groaned.

“My turn, then. Spin me round, Don’t Close Mountain.”

“Fuck off. Left foot, yellow.”

He Tian looked at the mat and seemed to ponder for a while. He hopped onto it, his left foot landing on the yellow paint with a squelch!, almost making him slip. “Woah!”

“Do you even know how to play this?” Guan Shan pointed out. “You should have started from—”

But He Tian shushed him. “It’s all part of a plan,” he winked.

And after a good number of rounds it was evident that he’d had a plan from the very beginning, because his body acted as a blocking wall between Yi and Zheng Xi.

“You bastard!” Jian Yi shouted when Guan Shan spun a red, right foot for He Tian.

“Oh, looks like I’ll be shoving my ass in your face, Zhan Zheng Xi,” he laughed. “Don’t get too excited.”

“If you fart, I’ll kill you,” Xi replied in deadpan fashion.

“I don’t like this!” Jian Yi whined. “I’ll forfeit!”

He Tian arched an eyebrow. “Really? Because if you do, you’ll be doing a Truth or Dare—”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Guan Shan said, alarmed. “Who said anything about a dare?”

“Hmmm…” Jian Yi pondered. “It could be good. But then again, you’re a bit of a dick and sometimes you creep the hell out of me, so I’m not sure about your dares.”

“I could make it good for you, Jian Yi…” He Tian teased. “Or it could be hell, who knows.”

“I w-wouldn’t trust him,” Guan Shan mumbled.  “A truth-or-dare thing i-isn’t a good i—”

“What are you bitching about?”

“Oi,” Zheng Xi grunted. “I’m getting cramps. Spin it, Redhead.”

Mo used the spinner one more time. “Red, right hand.”

“Why is it always red? Is this game rigged?” Jian Yi whined.

“You’re the one who wanted to play, bastard.” Zheng Xi considered his options. If he went back, he’d run the risk of slipping – it would be extra hard to hold on till the next turn, and one of his legs was already getting stiff. Going forward, however, meant sliding under He Tian’s leg…

“I’m going down now, He Tian,” he finally announced, slowly creeping between Tian’s legs and resting his hand on the red puddle. Spuuurrrt.

“That’s a phrase you’d do well to remember!” Tian said to Mo.

“Stop being so gross and move your ass!” Guan Shan shouted. “Blue, right foot!”

Tian looked down. “Jian Yi, what should I dooo? If I move forward, I’ll be riding Zhan Zheng Xi’s head… Ah, but if I go back…”

“Come forward!” Jian Yi yelled.

“Nah, too late,” Tian grinned, sliding back and resting his hips on Zhan’s back. “Oops, my bad… If I slip any further, I might butt-bump you…”

“Waaah! Don’t be dirty! Get off Zhanxi’s back!”  Jian Yi rubbed his hand against a circle, grabbed a scoop of paint, and flung it at He Tian, who instinctively raised his hand to protect his face and lost balance, landing on Zheng Xi.

“Bastards!” Xi shouted, writhing under He Tian’s body.

“Jian Yi, you fucker…” Tian lunged forward and grabbed Yi by the collar of his old t-shirt, pulling him down and squashing his face against the mat.

It was at that moment that it occurred to Guan Shan that the best thing for him to do would be to quietly slip away. Slowly, he stood up and walked to the door without looking back.

“Where d’you think you’re going?” He Tian asked, pushing Jian Yi away to go after Mo, as he snatched a tube of paint on the way. 

“Shit!” Guan Shan dashed towards the door, but he stopped when he heard a squirt! and felt something cold running down his body. “You didn’t…” he murmured, sliding his hand up his back. “My clothes, you dickhead! My t-shirt was brand new!” He turned around only to find that He Tian had quickly closed the distance between them and was now hauling him over his shoulder. “What the chicken balls are you doing?! Put me down!”

“Stop kicking or I’ll carry you princess-style!” He Tian shouted as he took Guan Shan back to the messy mat.

“Momo, I’ll make you pay for giving He Tian the best spots! Zhanxi, give me a hand!” Jian Yi urged his friend.

“No no no, just—Jian Yi, let go of my leg! He Tian you fucker, where are you grab—You too?!” Guan Shan exclaimed as he saw Zhan Zheng Xi squeezing a green tube.

“Why not,” he shrugged. “You’re one of us now.”

Guan Shan gaped at him. He barely paid attention to He Tian’s fingers running through his hair, or Jian Yi smearing the leftover paint on his pants. He was one of them? The image of those three teaming up against him because of his hotheadedness… He could tell, as soon as Zhan Zheng Xi had grabbed him by the arm, as soon as He Tian had stayed behind to settle that mess, that nobody had ever had his back the way those three did with each other.

He was one of them? They had come after him, treating him the same way they treated each other – dragging him around, laughing and shouting, being annoying and supportive and oddly caring… Why would anyone care if he were to drop out? Why would they care about what happened to him? A feeling of sadness set in, but it was quickly overridden by something else, something that felt like a bubble bursting out.

Shit. He was actually happy.

He curled up, hiding his face, letting out a loud groan. “ARGH! LEAVE ME ALONE!” But his lips were trembling with the promise of a smile.

He Tian took off his shirt and turned it inside out before he dropped it on Mo’s head. “We’re all dirty, so… you know what that means?” He smirked, walking back without taking his eyes off them.

Zheng Xi raised an eyebrow. “… Crap. No, He Tian. Don’t do it.”

“Wh-what’s he doing?” Mo asked a bit anxiously.

“Fuck, he’s bringing it out now.”

Jian Yi tilted his head. “Wow. Just how long is that…?”

“What?” Mo peeked from underneath the shirt. His eyes opened wide. “Fuck no.

“Oh yesss,” He Tian grinned, petting the fire hose. “It’s bath time…”