what's this about a tattoo now

anonymous asked:

Imagine if pidge got a tattoo saying something in binary with green laying on top of the numbers with its tail going through one of the zero's

Pidge: That would be so awesome! What would it say though? Green lion? Kitty lime? Left arm? Pigeon? I don’t know this is all I’m going to be thinking about now for the next several years. 

So these anti-endogenics have been talking shit about me in a private chat, and linking to my posts to make fun of them. Including my tattoo, and posts about how I use he/him pronouns and have been misgendered.

So now I feel like shit (like seriously awful), because I feel like these people are saying I can’t use he/him pronouns if I’m genderfluid and sometimes present as female. I know some of my friends think that way, anyway.

And what the hell is wrong with my disability pride tattoo? I’m not allowed to be proud of my disabilities just because I’m also endogenic? The fuck is wrong with people.

these are actually hella fucking cute y'all
  • 1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?
  • 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?
  • 3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?
  • 4: how do you take your coffee/tea?
  • 5: are you self-conscious of your smile?
  • 6: do you keep plants?
  • 7: do you name your plants?
  • 8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?
  • 9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?
  • 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?
  • 11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?
  • 12: what's your favorite planet?
  • 13: what's something that made you smile today?
  • 14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?
  • 15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!
  • 16: what's your favorite pasta dish?
  • 17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?
  • 18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.
  • 19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?
  • 20: what's your favorite eye color?
  • 21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.
  • 22: are you a morning person?
  • 23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?
  • 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?
  • 25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?
  • 26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?
  • 27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?
  • 28: sunrise or sunset?
  • 29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?
  • 30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?
  • 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.
  • 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.
  • 33: what's your fave pastry?
  • 34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?
  • 35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?
  • 36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?
  • 37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?
  • 38: tell us about your pet peeves!
  • 39: what color do you wear the most?
  • 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?
  • 41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?
  • 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!
  • 43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?
  • 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?
  • 45: do you trust your instincts a lot?
  • 46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.
  • 47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?
  • 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?
  • 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?
  • 50: what's an odd thing you collect?
  • 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?
  • 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?
  • 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?
  • 54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?
  • 55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?
  • 56: what are some things you find endearing in people?
  • 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?
  • 58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?
  • 59: what's your favorite myth?
  • 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?
  • 61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?
  • 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?
  • 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?
  • 64: what color is the sky where you are right now?
  • 65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?
  • 66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?
  • 67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?
  • 68: what's winter like where you live?
  • 69: what are your favorite board games?
  • 70: have you ever used a ouija board?
  • 71: what's your favorite kind of tea?
  • 72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?
  • 73: what are some of your worst habits?
  • 74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.
  • 75: tell us about your pets!
  • 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?
  • 77: pink or yellow lemonade?
  • 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?
  • 79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?
  • 80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?
  • 81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.
  • 82: are/were you good in school?
  • 83: what's some of your favorite album art?
  • 84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?
  • 85: do you read comics? what are your faves?
  • 86: do you like concept albums? which ones?
  • 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?
  • 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?
  • 89: are you close to your parents?
  • 90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.
  • 91: where do you plan on traveling this year?
  • 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?
  • 93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?
  • 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?
  • 95: what are your plans for this weekend?
  • 96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?
  • 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?
  • 98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?
  • 99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.
  • 100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?
Ask Away Anonymously Or Not.                        (◕‿◕✿)

All My Asks I Answered On My Blog Deleted, So I Decided To Make An Ask Meme Thingyy.

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

(3) Can You Whistle?

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

(6) Relationship Status.

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

(9) How Many Followers?

(10) Zodiac Sign.

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

(16) Favourite Anime?

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

(21) Favourite Animal?

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

(28) What Makes You Happy?

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender?

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

(64) Favourite Social Media?

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

(67) Are You A Virgin?

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

(71)  Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

(74)  What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

2

My heart is pierced by Cupid;

I disdain all glittering gold.

There is nothing can console me

But my jolly sailor bold.
___

I’m trying to fight my art block and I received some lovely suggestions I’m going to draw.

Mer!Hanzo and Pirate!McCree was one of these.
@rebeza and @finchworks are my inspirations and I look up to their designs and AUs ‘cause wow.

Have you ever seen a prettier Hanzo?

Ask me! I'll answer honestly

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]
9: Are you ticklish?
10: Are you allergic to anything?
11: What’s your sexuality?
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
13: Are you a cat or dog person?
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
16: How tall are you?
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?
21: Are you religious?
22: Pet peeves?
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?
24: Favorite constellation?
25: Favorite star?
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
27: Any phobias or fears?
28: Do you think global warming is real?
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?
30: Favorite movie?
31: Do you get scared easily?
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]
34: What is a color that calms you?
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
36: Where were you born?
37: What is your eye color?
38: Introvert or extrovert?
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
40: Hugs or kisses?
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
42: Who is someone you love deeply?
43: Any piercings you want?
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
47: What is a sound you really hate?
48: A sound you really love?
49: Can you do a backflip?
50: Can you do the splits?
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?
52: Favorite movie?
53: How are you feeling right now?
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
55: When did you feel happiest?
56: Something that calms you down?
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
58: What does your URL mean?
59: What three words describe you the most?
60: Do you believe in evolution?
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?
62: What makes you follow a blog?
63: Favorite kind of person:
64: Favorite animal(s):
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.
66: Favorite emoticon:
67: Favorite meme:
68: What is your MBTI personality type?
69: What is your star sign?
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
72: Post a selfie or two?
73: Do you have platform shoes?
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
75: Can you do a front flip?
76: Do you like birds?
77: Do you like to swim?
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:
80: Some thing you wish did exist:
81: Piercings you have?
82: Something you really enjoy doing:
83: Favorite person to talk to:
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
85: How many followers do you have?
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
87: Do your socks always match?
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
89: What are your birthstones?
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
92: A store you hate?
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
95: Do you like to wear camo?
96: Winter or summer?
97: How long can you hold your breath for?
98: Least favorite person?
99: Someone you look up to:
100: A store you love?
101: Favorite type of shoes
102: Where do you live?
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
105: Do you drink milk?
106: Do you like bugs?
107: Do you like spiders?
108: Something you get paranoid about?
109: Can you draw:
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
111: A question you hate being asked?
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
116: Favorite cloud type:
117: What color do you wish the sky was?
118: Do you have freckles?
119: Favorite thing about a person:
120: Fruits or vegetables?
121: Something you want to do right now:
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
123: Sweet or sour foods?
124: Bright or dim lights?
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:
127: Something you love about Tumblr:
128: What do you think about the least?
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
133: Computer or TV?
134: Do you like roller coasters?
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
136: Are your ears lobed or attached?
137: Do you believe in karma?
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
144: What makes you angry
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
147: Are you androgynous?
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
149: Favorite thing about your personality:
150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
156: What embarrasses you?
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:
159: How many people are you following?
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
163: Last time you cried and why:
164: Do you have long or short hair?
165: Longest your hair has ever been:
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
168: Do you like to wear makeup?
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?
170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

I CAN’T BELIEVE ED SHEERAN WROTE “NEW MAN” ABOUT HARRY STYLES

“he spent five hundred pounds on jeans”

“He’s got his eyebrows plucked and his asshole bleached”

“Tribal tattoos and he don’t know what it means”

“And wears a man bag on his shoulder, but I call it a purse”

“Drinks beer, but has a six pack, I’m kinda jealous”

“He wears sunglasses indoors, in winter, at nighttime”

“Now you’re eatin’ kale, hittin’ the gym”

Originally posted by imabeast78

How I see kpop groups and their traits

Exo: referred to as gods by the future generation; they could release an album full of high pitched screaming and still would make the best selling kpop album; china line who?; we are 1 what?; korean members with chinese stage names; don’t let the satan near you; yehet, kkaebsong; give Sehun lines

Bts: from nowhere to everywhere; hyperactive kids making good music; kids with mental health issues doing vanalism; they look at you - you faint;  shit down, beach - bitch?, ikskjuz miii; zoo; give Jin lines

Ikon: B.I, Bobby and friends; favoritism by yg; “the next bigbang”, but yg seems to forget about them so does the crowd; being hyped up then ending up disappointed; capable of doing good music but refuses to; give chanwoo lines

Got7: no mvs in the future just videos of them dabbing; b side tracks always better than the titles; acrobatics until their neck breaks; not so creative fandom name; bamx2 is big; jaCSon, hard carry by Monsta x

Winner: searching for them - error404: nowhere to be found; somewhere in the yg building; Taehyun had enough shit, wants his own band, searching for members through tumblr; capable of being unique, yg aint letting them; let them break out   

Day6: now 5live, nope, day8, members: sungjin, wonpil, dowoon, youngk, jae, chicken little, brian, younghyun; the one who has a stage name but seems like everyone is forgetting about it; dancing king; hashtag king; let dowoon sing

Astro: too much sugar in my eyes i can’t see; too pure for you; won’t ever do other than cute concepts;  michael jackson; giant maknae; voice cracks for life; new generation of flower boys

Seventeen: too many; pledis has a thing for girly boys; pledis’ only income; leg breaking choreos; adore u remakes as title tracks; no dark concepts in the future; sebeuntin; carrots, mounteen; slipping here and there; dino nugu aegi; thughao, 10:10; divaboo; noone looks like suga; jeongcheol, meanie; give china line lines

Vixx: concept kings but kinda ran out of concepts; oldschool kpop feel; from vixx ravi to solo ravi - full upgrade; one of the prettiest fandom names; endless leader bullying; serial killer; let the maknae line sing

Shinee: going strong since 2008; people seem to pay less attention to them; taemin upgraded; weird fashion taste - key; cola cola; don’t sleep on them

Infinite: dope intros - give you chills; old kpop sound, unique sound; scorpion dance, live singing + synchronized choreos; dinosaur who’s laugh can be heard without a mic; endless leader and maknae bullying; saved woollim; give sungyeol and sungjong lines

Monsta x: future strippers; stuck between hiphop and sexy concepts; wtf is going on here mvs, gay mvs; cringiest fandom name; weird noises by the rapper; damn daniel; how to learn hungarian by changkyun; abs, memes; ten years later: waiting for their first win; mosta x, moista x, monster x;  give hyungwon lines; 

Bigbang: legends; noone can dance, too lazy to dance; fashionistas; min hyorin; yg = bigbang

B.a.p: started to rise - shit happened - nobody cares about them anymore; getting killed or killing others in mvs; unappreciated dancers and rappers; high notes for life; actual meaningful lyrics

Block b: zico and the boys; biggest weirdos of them all; no friendship just business; give jaehyo lines

Nct: taeyong and the boys; pouring salt at the wounds; mess of a noise music; rotating as much that i can already see the tornado; dozens of units; horrible fashion; unnecessary ps; damn hoverboard skills; great vocals being hidden; johnny somehow managed to get out; let hansol free; give lines to everyone

Pentagon: putting them through an unnecessary scripted survival show to make people foget about some disbanded groups (4minute); sm and yg let some gems slip out from their hands, at least they are not in the dungeon; giants and dwarfs; ugly crying; lame jokes; ultrasound screams; nudity; wooyu; yutoda; give shinwon lines

Btob: being forgotten by cube; weird, extra; slowly turning into a ballad group; is minhyuk a rapper?; give peniel lines

Beast: what is happening with u cube? shit happened; new name - bea5t?;  lost their spirit after shit happned; great lives 

Suju: waiting for ot15; shit still happening; growing out of kpop; concepts don’t match their age; still waiting for kibum; don’t forget about zhoumi & henry; diaries of a married man; being succesful in the military

Nu’est: best debut song ever; had the most potential as a rookie group; pledis messed up; now they’re popular anywhere besides korea; getting worse and worse title songs; aesthetic mvs; creative fandom name; again pledis has a thing for girly boys

Ft Island: hongki and the others; awesome dope music (let’s not count puppy here); people don’t appreciate quality music anymore; this gem is lost in the ocean of cute, badass & hiphop concepts; pretty fandom name

Cnblue: another gem; better japanese releases; boring new songs because they have to fit into the kpop standard; yonghwa’s unique teeth; visuals; let the others sing

SF9: another group coming from a survival show; covering their seniors’ songs so they can’t even recognize them; thumbs up for the K.O choreography; don’t go with them to amusement parks; deep af voice maknae; park jimin 2.0; hwiyoung got them lines in roar

KNK: a bunch of idiots - literally; tall af; models af; old school kpop feels; if you hear someone laugh hysterically from afar it’s probably them; falling dramatically to the floor while doing so; choking sounds; don’t let them feed you; horlolololo; astro x knk; bullying sanha

2PM: definition of men; hella hot bodies; starting to be unknown; when was their latest first win?; manly concepts; awesome vocals; the rap is still meh; go crazy is a jam y’all; great actors

U-Kiss: so many member changes; lit songs, but not getting appreciation; don’t complain about your faves not getting 1st place like 2 months after debut - it took for them years; the first kpop fathers; they need a comeback soon

B1A4: great vocals again; don’t let them being forgotten; cnu just rocks the short hair admit it; baby i’m sorry is one of the best kpop songs; but great ballads as well

Teen top: they need to go back to their previous style; cap rocking them tattoos; hilariously funny group - watch their weekly idol; promoting as five now - anticipate their comeback

Wanna One: what even is this name; salty af that Jonghyun and Samuel are NOT in the 11; Never is still my jam; i’m not lookung forward for cute concepts; god 10 year age gap between the oldest and youngest member; still salty some trainess weren’t even in top 20 *cough* hwanwoong *cough* taehyun *cough* gunhee* *cough*; some great inventors (round clap, jeojang, etc.) and psychos and a lot more.

Everyone please note that i dont mean to offend neither the groups neither the fans. its just for fun and me being 100% sarcastic by these statements. i love and respect these groups with all my heart!
sorry, its a bit long.

some quick ideas based off @pepplemint ‘s soulmate name tattoos au where Allura has a soulmate tattoo that says “Takashi”:


1. The tattoo is written in Altean symbols, and Shiro catches sight of it one day when they’re training. They’ve all learned a bit of Altean by that point and Shiro thinks he can sorta read it, but it looks like it says ‘takashi’ but he’s not sure? So he thinks it must be an Altean word with similar pronunciation and he casually asks Allura what the word is and what it means. He’s thinking this is gonna be fun and hilarious, she’ll tell him what the word means and he’ll tell her how much it sounds like his name, it’ll be cute maybe he’ll tease her a lil bit about having his name tattooed on her arm…

But when he asks Allura gets all sad and shy and eventually tells him: “It says Takashi. It’s the name of my soulmate. All Alteans have their soulmate’s true name tattooed on their skin, but of course my soulmate must have died with Altea… Shiro are you alright?” becauSE SHIRO.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING does he tell her? should he say something? does she even want him as her soulmate?

Bonus: Shiro tries to think of a way to tell her that doesn’t come across as creepy or forward and he can’t think of anything and after about three days of agonising he just blurts out in front of the whole team “My name is Takashi Shirogane!” and everyone’s like ‘dude…… what?’ and now ALLURA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING because SHE SECRETLY SORTA HOPED


2. The tattoo is written in kanji, and Allura obviously can’t read it, so she just assumes her soulmate is an alien of some kind. When she meets the Paladins and Shiro, she ~secretly hopes~ he’s the one but nope, they all speak English and Pidge’s laptop is in English (she checked) and she’s never seen any other language from Earth so OH WELL GUESS THAT’S THAT

Then one night she’s sitting up late with Shiro and they get to talking about different Earth languages, and it’s news to Allura that Earth still has SO MANY languages, and Shiro starts talking to her about Japanese. And about learning English and Japanese as a child, and how Japanese sounds and how it’s written. He starts telling her about Japanese writing systems and how it’s written downwards and she’s so cute and fascinated that he just picks up a scrap of paper and goes “here, i’ll show you” and writes his name in kanji. And he shows her and says “that’s my full name, Takashi Shirogane”.

And Allura’s looking at it like… this looks HAUNTINGLY FAMILIAR. So she takes the scrap of paper and asks really shyly: “can i keep this?”. Shiro just thinks it’s adorable of course and says ‘yeah keep it’ and that night Allura goes back to her room and lifts up her sleeve and with shaking fingers holds the scrap of paper up to her tattoo and IT’S THE SAME.

okay but what about the foxes making up shit to the press about kevin’s queen tattoo when asked about it (similar to the why is this boy in bandages responses they gave abt neil when at the diner):

  • “he’s actually a grand-master at chess and plays exy for fun on the side”
  • “he thought he was pointing to the exystick for the tattoo artist and by the time he realized it was too late”
  • “neil called him a drama queen and to spite him and prove him wrong, kevin got this tattoo”
  • “the lyrics to don’t stop me now didn’t fit on his face so he decided to honor the band instead”
  • “it’s actually a weird keyhole tattoo he got before trying to convince jeremy knox to get the key”
  • “he’s trying to get on england’s good side to join their exy team”
  • “he thought he was getting a knight becuase he wants to be every fangirls knight in shining armor, but he didn’t know enough about chess”

and of course, andrew’s iconic response:

  • “riko always said he was the king so kevin was showing riko that he’s more powerful” 

which was believed by no one, dismissed immediately, and chuckled at by the press (all while wymack was shooing andrew away from press. ‘jesus minyard, how did you get by them in the first place?’)

Some people say that you know you love someone if you start thinking about a future with them. But I think that if you really love someone you don’t think about the future at all. I think that how much you like someone is directly related to how little you think about any kinds of consequences. Like if I really like you and I’m having fun with you at a bar, I won’t even think about how hungover I’m going to be at work the next day or what my friends are going to say about you. Some people take it so far that they get tattoos of their girlfriends, or take the fall for their boyfriends drugs, or follow their significant other to college. And some people will stay up 4 hours past their bedtime talking to you the night before their LSAT. The point is that when we care about someone enough, we sometimes don’t think. We don’t think about tomorrow, or next week, and we definitely don’t think about 3 years from now. And maybe it’s better that way because maybe in the future we’re married or maybe I’m crying over you on the kitchen floor. The beauty is that in that moment, we don’t know and it doesn’t matter.
That is photoshop

So here is why Louis’ “E” tattoo is photoshop.

Here is the photo he posted on instagram

Here is a zoomed in photo of his hand, now there is another post which talks about how the square pixel of the E is so obvious that its definitely photo-shopped. Well Here is the behind the scenes photo that looks to be an instagram story photo.

Now if  you zoom in on this picture guess what you will find

Absolutely no E. Now because this is an instagram story photo there is almost no way to photoshop a live photo. Also if it really was there why would they photoshop it out for a behind the scenes photo?

Ask me! I'll answer honestly!

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?
2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?
4: What was your favorite video game growing up?
5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?
7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?
8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]
9: Are you ticklish?
10: Are you allergic to anything?
11: What’s your sexuality?
12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?
13: Are you a cat or dog person?
14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?
15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?
16: How tall are you?
17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?
20: Do you like space or the ocean more?
21: Are you religious?
22: Pet peeves?
23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?
24: Favorite constellation?
25: Favorite star?
26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?
27: Any phobias or fears?
28: Do you think global warming is real?
29: Do you believe in reincarnation?
30: Favorite movie?
31: Do you get scared easily?
32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?
33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]
34: What is a color that calms you?
35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?
36: Where were you born?
37: What is your eye color?
38: Introvert or extrovert?
39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?
40: Hugs or kisses?
41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?
42: Who is someone you love deeply?
43: Any piercings you want?
44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?
45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?
46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!
47: What is a sound you really hate?
48: A sound you really love?
49: Can you do a backflip?
50: Can you do the splits?
51: Favorite actor and/or actress?
52: Favorite movie?
53: How are you feeling right now?
54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?
55: When did you feel happiest?
56: Something that calms you down?
57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]
58: What does your URL mean?
59: What three words describe you the most?
60: Do you believe in evolution?
61: What makes you unfollow a blog?
62: What makes you follow a blog?
63: Favorite kind of person:
64: Favorite animal(s):
65: Name three of your favorite blogs.
66: Favorite emoticon:
67: Favorite meme:
68: What is your MBTI personality type?
69: What is your star sign?
70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?
71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?
72: Post a selfie or two?
73: Do you have platform shoes?
74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?
75: Can you do a front flip?
76: Do you like birds?
77: Do you like to swim?
78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?
79: Something you wish didn’t exist:
80: Some thing you wish did exist:
81: Piercings you have?
82: Something you really enjoy doing:
83: Favorite person to talk to:
84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?
85: How many followers do you have?
86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?
87: Do your socks always match?
88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?
89: What are your birthstones?
90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?
91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?
92: A store you hate?
93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?
94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?
95: Do you like to wear camo?
96: Winter or summer?
97: How long can you hold your breath for?
98: Least favorite person?
99: Someone you look up to:
100: A store you love?
101: Favorite type of shoes
102: Where do you live?
103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why?
104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?
105: Do you drink milk?
106: Do you like bugs?
107: Do you like spiders?
108: Something you get paranoid about?
109: Can you draw:
110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked?
111: A question you hate being asked?
112: Ever been bitten by a spider?
113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?
114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?
115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now:
116: Favorite cloud type:
117: What color do you wish the sky was?
118: Do you have freckles?
119: Favorite thing about a person:
120: Fruits or vegetables?
121: Something you want to do right now:
122: Is the ocean or sky prettier?
123: Sweet or sour foods?
124: Bright or dim lights?
125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature?
126: Something you hate about Tumblr:
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128: What do you think about the least?
129: What would you want written on your tombstone?
130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now?
131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?
132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?
133: Computer or TV?
134: Do you like roller coasters?
135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness?
136: Are your ears lobed or attached?
137: Do you believe in karma?
138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are?
139: What nicknames do you have/have had?
140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?
141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?
142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?
143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?
144: What makes you angry
145: How many languages do you speak fluently?
146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?
147: Are you androgynous?
148: Favorite physical thing about yourself:
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150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.
151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?
152: Do you like BuzzFeed?
153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.]
154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?
155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?
156: What embarrasses you?
157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:
158: Biggest lie you have ever told:
159: How many people are you following?
160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)?
161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)?
162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)?
163: Last time you cried and why:
164: Do you have long or short hair?
165: Longest your hair has ever been:
166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon?
167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?
168: Do you like to wear makeup?
169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds?
170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

Things I think I know about the Throne of Glass series having never read it

Here you go, @catastrophicallyinlovewithbooks !

I honestly did try to get into the series after I finished ACOMAF and before ACOWAR came out. I got a few chapters in, but the audiobook narrator is INSUFFERABLY WHINY-SOUNDING and I just couldn’t deal, so that was a no-go. But, following as many ACOTAR blogs as I do (by the way my main is @bonnie-wee-swordsman), by now, I’ve seen most of the main series spoilers, and so have ended up with a lot of scattered knowledge. Here’s what I think I know about ToG (spoilers, obviously): 

#1. Birdman Legolas has an angsty face tattoo. It tells some sort of story of his tragical past but he gets pissy when you ask about it. Classic manpain. 

–> thing I DON’T know…how big of a bird does he turn into? Like…is he a human-sized bird, or a proper bird-sized bird?? 

#2. Celaena=Aelin. Came across that one pretty early. She’s blonde and an assassin and has fire powers of some kind? And is heir to the throne of somewhere? 

#3. Sam was a precious cinnamon roll who was taken too soon. I did get far enough into the book to have been introduced to him, so I was sad to hear of his demise.  

#4. Dorian is a prince and also a sexy motherfucker and his dad sucks 

#5. Manon is a witch but in a good way 

#6. Manon’s mom is bad news bears. No clue why or how but she’s a nope 

#7. There’s a talking doorknob named Mort. which alternately makes me think of Alice in Wonderland or A Christmas Carol. 

Mort is apparently a good bloke for a piece of hardware, but I do not know how or why. 

#8. Lorcan is Cassian, basically 

#9. Elide and Lorcan snuggle on a stone floor of some kind at some point. I saw an art of this and thought it was so beautiful 

#10. Aelin is currently houdini-ing against her will in a coffin buried somewhere for some reason by some person?? Which is just a cruel cruel cliffhanger SJM 

#11. Chaol. I am told it’s pronounced “Kale” but in my mind it’s 

#12. Chaol has not yet found love? 

#13. And he got hurt somehow? 

#14. And he has his own book coming out soon? 

#15. And is mostly a broody swordy-sword guy?

#16. But also amazing? 

#17. It helped a lot to see ‘Adarlan’ written out because from only the audiobook I was like “OTTERLAND”?? 

Originally posted by cutestcorner

#18. Aelin and Rowan are mates 

#19. There is a gold nightgown at some point that makes Rowan lose his goddamn bird mind

#20. Aelin is fae but I don’t know how she came to be so…I thought she was human to start? Did she pull A Feyre on us? 

#21. There’s a castle of glass which is just dumb AF from a design and privacy standpoint. Throne of Assses

#22. There is a Cadre which is like the inner circle but bigger and possibly hotter? 

#23. There is a snuggly dragon name Abraxos and there will be a fandom riot if he/she dies

#24. Fenrys, Fenrys….Is Fenrys the dog? fuck I can’t remember. He’s either a man or the dog. 

#25. Aedion is a Thor-looking motherfucker and because of his name similarity to Aelin I’m guessing they’re related? 

#26. Crochan is…something...I have no clue but I see the word a lot 

#27. WAIT WAIT WAIT NO THE DOG IS FLEETFOOT! #better late than never. #sorry Fenrys #which sounds way too close to a ship name for Feyre and Rhys and so confused me for a long time  #fleetfoot mac 

#28. There are people/soldiers maybe? who wear yellow stockings. Alternately they are also birds hence the yellow legs. no fucking clue 

#29. Aelin likes fancy clothes 

#30. Princeling/Witchling are #goals


I will add more as they come to me. 

Let me know how I did! 

2

@songsaboutsalad  BRO! Here he is! Probably on a little study break at the breakfast counter
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*  spacing out  *:・゚✧*:・゚✧   ;^)

3

For the anon who wanted Ryou’s tattoos ♥

I made two versions of the tattoo - a ‘clean’ one and a ‘worn’ one.

btw: I’m gonna get them, too. I already made an appointment with a tattoo artist, but I can’t decide whether I should get the ‘clean’ or the ‘worn’ one. :3

… Also: What the hell happened?? I never thought somebody would want to get a tattoo I designed for a fictional character? At least nobody else but me?? And now I had like the weirdest bonding moment with an anon about this?!! Makes me think that there’s still some good left in this world. ♥

Little things Harry would do to make Valentine’s Day special

Spend hours thinking of just the right words to put in your card, crafting the perfect way to explain how much you mean to him.

Insist on taking photos as you open your gifts. And when you protest, saying you’re still in your pajamas, he replies, “Gotta have summat to show our future children, love.”

Buy you a dress in the same shade of baby pink made of the same silky material as your favorite shirt of his. Not so that you’ll stop wearing his, god no; he loves coming home and finding you draped in his shirt, soft legs peaking out from the hem. He loves you in it so much he wants to see all the ways a dress of the same kind would flatter you.

Follow you around, gyrating and singing, as you get ready for the day, pleading with you to sing along. And when you finally let him take your hand, he spins you in a circle, crooning, “Girl, you know I want your love. Your love was handmade for somebody like me.”

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Tattoo Tips

hi guys i have a tattoo tips page here if you need it, i realized you can’t get to it from the app so here’s whats on it:

So when my friends and I were first doing these we looked all over on how to do them right and such but there wasn’t a lot about it so here’s some tips we’ve learned so far.

  • I used to use Higgins ink and now I use Intenze true black tattoo ink. It comes out a lot darker and is probably safer.
  • If the tattoo is just an outline and is bigger than an inch use a thicker needle than if it were something small. this will darken and thicken the outline
  • ALWAYS USE A STERILE NEEDLE… We originally used needles from a hospital but then bought tattoo needles on Amazon. The tattoo needles were so much better to work with. They come in all different sizes and some have multiples together that make it so much easier to do straight lines.
  • Draw the tattoo image in a thin colored sharpie.
  • Draw the image on the skin as the skin is laying normal but when poking over it, stretch the skin tight giving you space for more pokes so that when you let go and it goes back to normal the tattoo with be darker.
  • Before doing anything clean the skin with rubbing alcohol.
  • Shave the area the tattoo is going before giving the tattoo.
  • Wrap the needle in string until the point is very small, like an 8th of an inch small.
  • I use water to wipe the excess ink away but  that can whip the sharpie image away too so be careful.
  • Pain level: Hurts like a bitch but once you’re done it doesn’t hurt. it’s just a little sore since the skin will be raised.
  • Keep your tattoo moisturized like with Vaseline or not scented lotion  
  • I would suggest using transfer paper (I bought mine off amazon) so that you can draw exactly what you want easily and then transfer it to the body but remember draw it backwards is that when it’s transferred it’ll be forward.
Finding you

Originally posted by taesscripts

Words: 5992

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut

It has pretty much everything but there is a point where there will be smut so if you don’t fancy something like that you can just skip the part.

Description: Your cousin gave you a gift. It’s a pen, a pen that whatever you write upon your skin with it will also appear on your soulmate’s. Silly stuff, how can what you write with a stupid pen appear on your soulmate’s skin?

Keep reading

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can’t. I’ll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That’s me! - Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I’d make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I’m glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I’m not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don’t waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That’s why we don’t need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp… under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of… …9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it’s just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it’ll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as… Honey! - That girl was hot. - She’s my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we’re all cousins. - Right. You’re right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you’ll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. What’s the difference? You’ll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. So you’ll just work us to death? We’ll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! “What’s the difference?” How can you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I’ve never seen them this close. They know what it’s like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don’t come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You’re monsters! You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don’t know. Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That’s more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It’s just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let’s have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I’d knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We’re hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you’re not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We’re going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you’re interested in? - Well, there’s a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It’s a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I’m not trying to be funny. You’re not funny! You’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You’re gonna be a stirrer? - No one’s listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I’m gonna get an ant tattoo! Let’s open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”! I’m so proud. - We’re starting work today! - Today’s the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal… - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them’s yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What’d you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What’s available? Restroom attendant’s open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you’re on. I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey’s always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He’s dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That’s life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should… Barry? Barry! All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine… What happened to you? Where are you? - I’m going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted. It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That’s awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let’s move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It’s got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It’s a little bit of magic. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? That’s pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You’re reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama’s little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don’t think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you’re about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There’s a bee in the car! - Do something! - I’m driving! - Hi, bee. - He’s back here! He’s going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don’t move, he won’t sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow… the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Oan’t fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This… Drapes! That is diabolical. It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What’s number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don’t go for that… …kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them. They’re out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they’re flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say. There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out. I don’t remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don’t kill him! You know I’m allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I’m just saying all life has value. You don’t know what he’s capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I’m not scared of him. It’s an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It’s a bee law. You’re not supposed to talk to a human. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’ve got to. Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can’t. How should I start it? “You like jazz?” No, that’s no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I’m sorry. - You’re talking. - Yes, I know. You’re talking! I’m so sorry. No, it’s OK. It’s fine. I know I’m dreaming. But I don’t recall going to bed. Well, I’m sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you’re a bee! I am. And I’m not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn’t for you… I had to thank you. It’s just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I’m talking with a bee. - Yeah. I’m talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I’m grateful. I’ll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. “Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up. - That’s very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh, we’d cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway… Oan I… …get you something? - Like what? I don’t know. I mean… I don’t know. Ooffee? I don’t want to put you out. It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It’s just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don’t be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn’t. - Have some. - No, I can’t. - Oome on! I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don’t help. You look great! I don’t know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He’s making the tie in the cab as they’re flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, “Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?” Is that a bee joke? That’s the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don’t know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can’t do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look… There’s my hive right there. See it? You’re in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It’s like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I’ll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it’s no trouble. Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did, I’d be up the rest of my life. Are you…? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then… I guess I’ll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again… for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but… Anyway… This can’t possibly work. He’s all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can’t believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don’t. - How’d you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I’m glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your “experience.” Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well… - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I’m not attracted to spiders. I know it’s the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can’t get by that face. So who is she? She’s… human. No, no. That’s a bee law. You wouldn’t break a bee law. - Her name’s Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She’s so nice. And she’s a florist! Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist! We’re not dating. You’re flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin’ stripey! And that’s not what they eat. That’s what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up… Sit down! …really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We’re us. There’s us and there’s them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There’s no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He’s in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It’s been three days! Why aren’t you working? I’ve got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You’re barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father’s talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I’m talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I’ll catch up. Don’t be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We’re still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn’t respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don’t listen! I’m not listening to this. Sorry, I’ve gotta go. - Where are you going? - I’m meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can’t decide? Bye. I just hope she’s Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that’s every florist’s dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I’ve got one. How come you don’t fly everywhere? It’s exhausting. Why don’t you run everywhere? It’s faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That’s insane! You don’t have that? We have Hivo, but it’s a disease. It’s a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It’s usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It’s a bug. He’s not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic ‘N’ Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You’ve really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I’ll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don’t have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it’s hard to make it! There’s heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It’s organic. - It’s our-ganic! It’s just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don’t know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You’ve taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it’s on sale?! I’m getting to the bottom of this. I’m getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I’ll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You’re busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you’ll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who’s your supplier? I don’t understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You’re too late! It’s ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they’re on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You’re not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I’m going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I’m going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It’s your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I’m Oarl Kasell. But don’t kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they’re getting it. I mean, that honey’s ours. - Bees hang tight. - We’re all jammed in. It’s a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you’re out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don’t want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood’s about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I’d catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it’s pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee’s got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That’s the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. “They make the honey, and we make the money”? Oh, my! What’s going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn’t last too long. Do you know you’re in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That’s a man in women’s clothes! That’s a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There’s hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That’s a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That’s a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He’s been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn’t stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it’s true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That’s a killer. There’s only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive’s only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I’m Bob Bumble. - And I’m Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we’ll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we’re talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, “I’m a kid from the hive. I can’t do this”? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I’m from, we’d never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It’s a common name. Next week… He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots… Next week… Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They’re scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She’s 81. Honey, her backhand’s a joke! I’m not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I’m helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we’re really busy working. But it’s our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting… - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you’re three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that’s had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit’s a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I’m done with the humans, they won’t be able to say, “Honey, I’m home,” without paying a royalty! It’s an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It’s pretty big, isn’t it? I can’t believe how many humans don’t work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What’s the matter? - I don’t know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn’t the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you’re representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson… you’re representing all the bees of the world? I’m kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we’re ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man’s divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn’t some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there’s no trickery here. I’m just an ordinary bee. Honey’s pretty important to me. It’s important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we’re the little guys! I’m hoping that, after this is all over, you’ll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he’d dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don’t imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn’t hear you. - No. - No. Because you don’t free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They’re very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How’d you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that’s enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you’ve never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven’t. No, you haven’t. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I’m feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say… Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That’s not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you’re devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that’s ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn’t. But is this what it’s come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don’t have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn’t a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn’t someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You’re all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury’s on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I’m a florist. Right. Well, here’s to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn’t think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but… the battery. I didn’t want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There’s a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you’re quite a tennis player. I’m not much for the game myself. The ball’s a little grabby. That’s where I usually sit. Right… there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn’t really a special skill. You think I don’t see what you’re doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That’s just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I’m going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I’ve just about had it with your little mind games. - What’s that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that’s a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can’t seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I’m wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I’ve got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You’re bluffing. - Am I? Surf’s up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don’t even like honey! I don’t eat it! We need to talk! He’s just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I’ve met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you’re one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night… My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I’m sorry about all that. I know it’s got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn’t overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he’s considered one of the best lawyers… Yeah. Layton, you’ve gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it’s gonna be all over. Don’t worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don’t like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I’ll ask you what I think we’d all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We’re friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute… Are you her little… …bedbug? I’ve seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn’t your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but… - So those aren’t your real parents! - Oh, Barry… - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You’re an illegitimate bee, aren’t you, Benson? He’s denouncing bees! Don’t y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I’m going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don’t! It’s what he wants! Oh, I’m hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can’t treat them like equals! They’re striped savages! Stinging’s the only thing they know! It’s their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can’t feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I… I blew the whole case, didn’t I? It doesn’t matter. What matters is you’re alive. You could have died. I’d be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there’s a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can’t explain it. It was all… All adrenaline and then… and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I’m sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We’re just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don’t know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn’t sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don’t check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don’t smoke. Right. Bees don’t smoke. Bees don’t smoke! But some bees are smoking. That’s it! That’s our case! It is? It’s not over? Get dressed. I’ve gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you’ve done step correctly, you’re ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it’s interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don’t make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about… Your Honor, haven’t these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court’s valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I’m afraid I’m going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery’s motion. But you can’t! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It’s a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn’t hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, “Smoking or non?” Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He’s playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I’m OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won’t have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You’ll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery’s right? - What do you mean? We’ve been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we’ll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We’re all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He’ll have nauseous for a few hours, then he’ll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames… But it’s just a prance-about stage name! …unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan’t breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there’s gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We’ve never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey! Turn your key, sir! What do we do now? Oannonball! We’re shutting honey production! Mission abort. Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. Adam, you wouldn’t believe how much honey was out there. Oh, yeah? What’s going on? Where is everybody? - Are they out celebrating? - They’re home. They don’t know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. At least we got our honey back. Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn’t? It’s the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. And now… Now I can’t. I don’t understand why they’re not happy. I thought their lives would be better! They’re doing nothing. It’s amazing. Honey really changes people. You don’t have any idea what’s going on, do you? - What did you want to show me? - This. What happened here? That is not the half of it. Oh, no. Oh, my. They’re all wilting. Doesn’t look very good, does it? No. And whose fault do you think that is? You know, I’m gonna guess bees. Bees? Specifically, me. I didn’t think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. It’s notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. That’s our whole SAT test right there. Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. And then, of course… The human species? So if there’s no more pollination, it could all just go south here, couldn’t it? I know this is also partly my fault. How about a suicide pact? How do we do it? - I’ll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice. Right, right. Listen, Barry… sorry, but I gotta get going. I had to open my mouth and talk. Vanessa? Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. They’ve moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. It’s the last chance I’ll ever have to see it. Vanessa, I just wanna say I’m sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. I know. Me neither. Tournament of Roses. Roses can’t do sports. Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? Roses! Vanessa! Roses?! Barry? - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are. Flowers, bees, pollen! I know. That’s why this is the last parade. Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down? Oould you slow down? Barry! OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. Yes, it kind of is. I’ve ruined the planet. I wanted to help you with the flower shop. I’ve made it worse. Actually, it’s completely closed down. I thought maybe you were remodeling. But I have another idea, and it’s greater than my previous ideas combined. I don’t want to hear it! All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. All we gotta do is get what they’ve got back here with what we’ve got. - Bees. - Park. - Pollen! - Flowers. - Repollination! - Across the nation! Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia. They’ve got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. Security will be tight. I have an idea. Vanessa Bloome, FTD. Official floral business. It’s real. Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. Thank you. It was a gift. Once inside, we just pick the right float. How about The Princess and the Pea? I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! Yes, I got it. - Where should I sit? - What are you? - I believe I’m the pea. - The pea? It goes under the mattresses. - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I’m getting the marshal. You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! Let’s see what this baby’ll do. Hey, what are you doing?! Then all we do is blend in with traffic… …without arousing suspicion. Once at the airport, there’s no stopping us. Stop! Security. - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes. Has it been in your possession the entire time? Would you remove your shoes? - Remove your stinger. - It’s part of me. I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. Then if we’re lucky, we’ll have just enough pollen to do the job. Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! I think this is gonna work. It’s got to work. Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott. We have a bit of bad weather in New York. It looks like we’ll experience a couple hours delay. Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They’ll never make it. I gotta get up there and talk to them. Be careful. Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I’d like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. Oaptain, I’m in a real situation. - What’d you say, Hal? - Nothing. Bee! Don’t freak out! My entire species… What are you doing? - Wait a minute! I’m an attorney! - Who’s an attorney? Don’t move. Oh, Barry. Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? And please hurry! What happened here? There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. One’s bald, one’s in a boat, they’re both unconscious! - Is that another bee joke? - No! No one’s flying the plane! This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What’s your status? This is Vanessa Bloome. I’m a florist from New York. Where’s the pilot? He’s unconscious, and so is the copilot. Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? As a matter of fact, there is. - Who’s that? - Barry Benson. From the honey trial?! Oh, great. Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. It’s got giant wings, huge engines. I can’t fly a plane. - Why not? Isn’t John Travolta a pilot? - Yes. How hard could it be? Wait, Barry! We’re headed into some lightning. This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, where a suspenseful scene is developing. Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory… That’s Barry! …is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers and an incapacitated flight crew. Flowers?! We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls with absolutely no flight experience. Just a minute. There’s a bee on that plane. I’m quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. They’ve done enough damage. But isn’t he your only hope? Technically, a bee shouldn’t be able to fly at all. Their wings are too small… Haven’t we heard this a million times? “The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense.” - Get this on the air! - Got it. - Stand by. - We’re going live. The way we work may be a mystery to you. Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. But let me tell you about a small job. If you do it well, it makes a big difference. More than we realized. To us, to everyone. That’s why I want to get bees back to working together. That’s the bee way! We’re not made of Jell-O. We get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow! - Hello! Left, right, down, hover. - Hover? - Forget hover. This isn’t so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep! Barry, what happened?! Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. - That may have been helping me. - And now we’re not! So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. All of you, let’s get behind this fellow! Move it out! Move out! Our only chance is if I do what I’d do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! Don’t have to yell. I’m not yelling! We’re in a lot of trouble. It’s very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! It’s not a tone. I’m panicking! I can’t do this! Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! You snap out of it. You snap out of it. - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it! - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it’s my turn. How is the plane flying? I don’t know. Hello? Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? The Pollen Jocks! They do get behind a fellow. - Black and yellow. - Hello. All right, let’s drop this tin can on the blacktop. Where? I can’t see anything. Oan you? No, nothing. It’s all cloudy. Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry. - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Wait a minute. I think I’m feeling something. - What? - I don’t know. It’s strong, pulling me. Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. Bring the nose down. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK. Out the engines. We’re going in on bee power. Ready, boys? Affirmative! Good. Good. Easy, now. That’s it. Land on that flower! Ready? Full reverse! Spin it around! - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one? - That flower. - I’m aiming at the flower! That’s a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. Rotate around it. - This is insane, Barry! - This’s the only way I know how to fly. Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? Get your nose in there. Don’t be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! Just drop it. Be a part of it. Aim for the center! Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! Oome on, already. Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly! - Yes. No high-five! - Right. Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! - Thank you. - But we’re not done yet. Listen, everyone! This runway is covered with the last pollen from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. That means this is our last chance. We’re the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. If we’re gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say? Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains? We’re bees! Keychain! Then follow me! Except Keychain. Hold on, Barry. Here. You’ve earned this. Yeah! I’m a Pollen Jock! And it’s a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. Oh, yeah. That’s our Barry. Mom! The bees are back! If anybody needs to make a call, now’s the time. I got a feeling we’ll be working late tonight! Here’s your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who’s next? Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don’t forget these. Milk, cream, cheese, it’s all me. And I don’t see a nickel! Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! I had no idea. Barry, I’m sorry. Have you got a moment? Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. Sorry I’m late. He’s a lawyer too? I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. Have a great afternoon! Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can’t get them anywhere. No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. You’re a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who’s next? All right, scramble, jocks! It’s time to fly. Thank you, Barry! That bee is living my life! Let it go, Kenny. - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go. - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is. Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. - Thinking bee! - Me? Hold it. Let’s just stop for a second. Hold it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everyone.Can we stop here? I’m not making a major life decision during a production number! All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. I had virtually no rehearsal for that
—  The Bee Movie