what you see in hell

Sometimes when I’m looking through the Harry Hook tag I wonder if we’re talking about the same character. He’s not some sweetheart who’d give everything up because he loves someone. He’s a badly domesticated coyote Uma is using as an attack dog. He’s a fucked up kid, likely abused and emotionally neglected by his father, but this explains his behavior instead of excuses it.

I don’t even think he’s really in love with Uma so much as in love with how powerful she is. Look at him; he worships her. He gravitates around her, watching how people scatter and obey her without a thought, enthralled by the respect and terror she commands. She’s powerful, and he loves it. 

He’s constantly looking for someone to attack, someone he can push around and show that he is better and stronger and more important than they are without actually lifting a hook to prove it. He gets a thrill out of it. Everyone he’s antagonized has been helpless against him. He never goes after someone who can fight back because he knows he’ll get his ass handed to him. 

He went after Dizzy, as it’s clear he’s been doing for years, and he held out the papers (money, probably) Mal had given her for a good thirty seconds before he finally puts them in his pocket. He’s daring her to take them back. It’s a show of power, that he doesn’t even have to threaten her anymore to get what he wants. She holds no power in this situation, and that’s how he wants it.

He threw a fit, knocking everything off of the counter, when Mal took control of the situation away from him. His breath hitched when Mal grabbed his wrist. He’s not used to that. He’s not used to people actually doing something–fighting back, as it were–when he harasses them, and it likely hasn’t happened since Mal, Evie, Jay, and Carlos left the Isle. He needed to get control of the situation back, so what did he do? Swept everything off the counter to make a mess for Dizzy to clean up. He left immediately after, just to ensure he got the last word.

He only provoked Jay when he knew Evie would hold him back, when he held all the cards and they knew that only way they were going to get Ben back was by cooperating with him. That little jump back, that little laugh after Jay lunges at him was him showing that he was startled by Jay coming after him. He laughed only after Evie dragged Jay back to get control of the situation back and make it seem like he knew it was going to happen.

Watch Carlos in that scene; he’s terrified. He and Harry have a history, and judging by how he flinches when Harry barks at him, it’s not pleasant. Harry’s goal seems to be to terrorize and psyche out the Core Four. Barking at Carlos seems almost like an afterthought, like he realized, “Oh, I forgot one,” and just did what he had always done to freak out the deVil kid.

He went after Ben when the king was tied to the mast, invading his personal space, talking about how much he would like to hook him if only Uma would let him. There was nothing Ben could do to defend himself. The only reaction he had was to act like he didn’t care, and that seemed to frustrate Harry. He wanted a reaction out of him, something to show that his favorite, tried-and-true tactic could work on anyone, from Auradon or the Isle.

The first time we see Harry in a physical fight, he’s easily bested. I won’t get into the whole “hook thrown overboard” debacle, since that’s another post. Harry only gets the upper hand by surprising his foe, but once the surprise is gone, Jay physically overpowered him. Jay has a sword. Harry has a sword and his hook, and he needs to use both to his advantage to stand an even match against Jay.

I don’t think he’s physically very strong or much good at fighting; that’s why they have Gil. Uma is the leader, the brains, the one whose charisma allowed them to amass such a crew. Gil is the brute, the brawn, the sweet if naive teen who seems like he’s only kept around because he’s useful. Harry is the attack dog who uses psychological warfare to make people believe that they don’t stand a chance against him and by extension, Uma, by attacking them verbally and terrorizing them when they’re powerless.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Harry Hook. I think he’s a fantastic character with a lot of potential. It’s just that I think he’s being overly romanticized when it’s clear he’s a troubled teenager with control issues. Don’t mistake his devotion for love, don’t mistake his antagonizing of helpless people for sincere flirting. I agree, he’s pan as all get-out, but don’t romanticize his actions. 

I think part of the problem is how accustomed we are to “bad boy” characters like Harry Hook being the love interest of YA romance. We expect a heart of gold, we expect him being in love to show that he’s not such a bad guy. But sometimes there is no hidden heart of gold, and love will never be a substitute for redemption.

TL;DR: Harry Hook is a troubled teen with a manipulative streak who gets a thrill out of intimidating and bullying helpless people. Love will not redeem him; the kid needs therapy to help him understand that his actions were wrong. He’s a bad person but a great character. By all means, write about him, make fanart, talk about how you enjoy his character, but don’t romanticize him.

anonymous asked:

Lil prompt thingy: Ok so dan blowing phil during a liveshow. Phil thinks he'll do great and keep it together but he slowly falls apart and dan is being a cheeky lil shit about I so he continues. The phans start getting suspicious and ask questions but phil makes excuses for the wet noises, and his little moans and whimpers and shit. But then he moans really loudly when he comes and it's vvv obvious. Dan then comes up with puffy lips and they admit to what they did and come out. See you in hell

sign me the FUCK up!!!

HEY MARK

@markiplier

I LOVE YOUR CHANNEL AND YOU

We as a community love you and support you no matter what as we have shown with how we responded to your recent late night vlog.

But… IMMA NEED TO LEARN YOU SOMETHING.

You said in your ONI livestream that you wanted someone to compile a list of some of the games people wanted you to play.

WELL I HAVE A LIST FOR YOU hoo boi

I started it back in January of 2016. It has over 6 pages of various games. SIX PAGES!

And I realize that you get thousands of messages. Emails and posts just thrown at you. But I still try..

I have made a Google Doc. Shared with your gmail (both markiplier and markipliergame) and I would post the link here but honestly… I put some more personal stuff on there… ANYWHo 

JUST FOLLOW SOME SIMPLE STEPS!

-Go to your google drive

-Get to the search bar

-Look up “Markiplier Master Game Suggestions List”

-Click it 

-READ MY GLORY

-please

I do try to add more games when I can and some games are kinda old but still.

If you do see this, please give me some kind of signal?? Write on the doc, send me an ask, anything.

@markiplier

isjustprogress  asked:

glad i'm not the only one who would definitely fuck Avengers Academy High School Clint behind a dumpster #IHaveAProblem

is the dumpster on fire

oh yeah it is totally on fire

acowar aftermath ❤️

Done and done and done and done. 

I am full, so full–of hope and tears and smiles and gratitude. 

This story–Feyre’s story, is one that will stay in my heart for a good long while.

Thank you Sarah. These books, these characters, their stories–they’re gifts. All of them. 

People be lovin on Dracula and siding with the Vampire Daddy in his endeavor to eradicate the human stench of the planet but, y’all, come on

Even his dhampir child was like dude, just kill the assholes who killed mom goddamn 

(and Dracula wounds his own son so much the pretty boy needed a YEAR to recuperate? not #1 Dad material, yikes)  (though Dracula’s freak-out was epic and amazing, still murder!)

Wait you expect ordinary common people to stand up to the Church?!?  

LOL THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE CHURCH DOESN’T LIKE YOU

You watch your family and your ancestral house burn.  

Not even a powerful family like the Belmonts could stand up to the Church.  If you’re at odds with the Church, you’re FUCKED.  Ordinary people can’t afford that.  Hell, great houses like the Belmonts can’t afford that.

So no, the Number One Drama King Dracula is in no way justified in unleashing his potent, ungodly wrath on scared simple humans and deserves only a very specific, very finite sympathy.  

(his wrath was awesome, lol, but he’s still gotta pay for it)  

I mean, this was freakin awesome.  But was it bats?  Birds?  Bats and birds?  Stop killing babies, dude

  • CERSEI: Oops, I ended the Reach alliance by killing most of House Tyrell, loosing the assurance of food for winter. Better focus on taking Highgarden so that I can take all the food reserves to Kings Landing and ensure the loyalty of the people because I hold all the food
  • DAENERYS: Oh No, we lost Highgarden. Now Cersei has all the food that I needed to feed my armies and also the people through the Winter, better burn it all with my dragon so that no one can have it. Such a practical and benevolent leader :)
  • SANSA: How much food do we have? How long will it last? What is the worst case scenario for how long winter will last? Okay, we need to make sure we have food enough for everyone that comes here for shelter. We need to organise surplus food to be sent to our stores. Make sure we don't take too much though!

.

F̶̯̭͍͎̖͑͛̉͂̍̏͒̂͝͞o̯̖͚̖͇͑̓͂͒́͛̍͘͡͞ŕ̢̨͉̩̗͖̙͖̀̈͑́̋̅͘͜͜g̴̨̛̘̮̮͇͌̐́̉͊͘̕̚͝ͅo̜͚̰̙͍̲͖͍͕̻̽̎́̽͠t̴̹̞̥̭̺̻̋͑̓̒̾̌͞t̶͔͇̝̣̦̉͂͋̀̍͝͠͠e̵͔̫̯̩͕̓̑̈̿͆̿͆͢͟͡n͙̫̣̺̪̤͍̿̉͐̿͑̇̆̓̿͜ͅ.̛͔͉̙̠͈̰̒̀́͑̕̕͝.̻͍̤̤̗̖̱̟́̀̽̒̃͜͠.̯͙͈̝̬͚̀̄͐́̅̎́̕͝ o̧͖̳͔͕͈̱̱̝͂̿̾͒̊̒͒̎͟͞ŗ̵̙͎̜̣̟̏̓̍̎͋̕ a̧̙̳̞̮̤̯̣̋̈́̏̇͆̃̒̚̕͟͝f̵̺̦̲̯̥̣͔͉͇̃̎̓̊͊̏̾̆͝r̷̢̨̼̙̭̻̘̻͓̝̓͒́̈́͗͛ä̸̤̤̤̞̞͚͍͙̫̠̊̉̿̒͠ị̴̢̣̘̠̞̝̹̄̽̒͒̃̌͢͢͠d̻̩̯̭̣̝̜̹̓̾̋͊͠ t̙̘̘̜̤̔̓̓͐̾̑͘͠ơ̴̡̞̺̰̓̉̎̑͑̽͢͝ r̷̼͈̞͉̠͙̾̎̒͑̃̈́́͡ȇ̷̢͚̼̼̝̞̹̱̎̌͛͘m̶̟͚̭͔̭̞̙̦̓̀͑̈͘͢͢ȩ͖͎͉̖̱̄́͊͛͗̔̚͢͢ͅm̢̡̢͙̻̗̘̯͗̽͗̈̚b̴̧͚͉̞̗͔̀͒̏̉͘͟͢ͅͅè̻̘̯̙̝̇̆̐͑̆̒͂̚͟r̸̢̤̜̜̻̰̻̱͓̎͗̏̎̒̈́̏̈́͘͟͝?̧̱̥̣̰͖̝̳̋͗̓̈͌̾̔̾͆͜͞

Panic! At the Disco Book Recommendations

Invisible Monsters - Chuck Palahniuk

The song Time to Dance was based on this novel. 

Fight Club - Chuck Palahniuk 
The song Camisado contains several references to this novel. 

Survivor - Chuck Palahniuk
The song The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage is the first line of this novel. 

Choke - Chuck Palahniuk
Build God, Then We’ll Talk is a quote from this novel. 

Diary- Chuck Palahniuk
The quote ‘Just for the record, the weather today is…’ from the song London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines is a running theme/quote in the novel. 

The Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess

Fever Era, Panic’s aesthetic was quoted in Rolling Stone Magazine to have been inspired by the movie and novel. 

Alice in Worderland - Lewis Carroll 

Rolling Stones magazine states that Ryan re-read Alice in Wonderland while writing Pretty. Odd. It inspired the album artwork and the track Mad as Rabbits. Bredon also later stated that the line ‘And I never, never, ever do a thing about the weather for the weather never ever does a thing for me’ from the Alice in Wonderland’s film inspired the line ‘I know it’s sad that I never gave a damn about the weather, and it never gave a damn about me,’ from Do You Know What I’m Seeing?  

A Season in Hell - Arthur Rimbaud 

‘I don’t love women. Love has to be reinvented, we know that.’ - Rimbaud ‘We must reinvent love.’ - Mad As Rabbits ‘I wasn’t born to become a skeleton.’ - Rimbaud ‘I wasn’t born to be a skeleton’ - She’s a Handsome Woman

{internet friend!tom headcanons}

for my girls over at spiderjizz, especially ruby who came up with this and let me steal the idea for this, larb you rubs!
tags: @grant-valdes-holland @sunrisehunny @spideyboys @lil-spidey @peterletmebeanavengerparker @captainswriting @quacksoff @spideryr00s @spideyyss @tomhollandisthicc @underoosie @marvelsdaughter @ladysnowren @spideyyparker @rooyeun @focused-on-holland @toms-spidey

  • okay so to start you had no idea it was tom to begin with
    • his username was “marvels-biggest-fanboyxx”
    • and he obviously didn’t go by tom but by his middle name stanley instead
    • there was never really a tip-off that it was tom
  • you just knew whoever was behind this screen made some badass edits
    • seriously they were some of the best gif edits you had seen
  • you also knew he posted some photos and videos of tom that no one had really seen before
    • “where’d you get that picture of tom? i’ve never seen it before?”
    • “oh i got it from a friend.”
    • “i’ve never seen that video before, where’d you find it?”
    • “i had to search through a lot of youtube videos”
  • anyways, you messaged whoever this stanley was because he seemed cool and you were really just looking for friends
  • you would have been building this friendship for months
    • he had basically become your best friend on this website
    • you send “stanley” pictures of tom all. the. time.
    • “snslsnsos did you see tom’s hair in his latest ig story like stab me in the fAcE”
    • “ahahahahah yeah same”
    • “tom had such a nice ass i wonder what it feels like”
    • and tom is laughing at this, thinking “real nice. it feels real nice.”
    • but you just get “i bet it feels really nice” in response
  • aside from him being your best friend, you don’t know much about him personally
  • and you totally respect his privacy about that
  • and one day “stanley” finally asks if you wanted to skype
  • and you of course jump at the opportunity because you had become so close to each other
    • you told him practically everything
    • he told you everything he could without giving away the fact that he was actually tom
  • you swap skype users and very soon after you call him
  • and you’re sitting there waiting for it to connect and wondering why the hell you’re so nervous about this
    • he’s one of your best friends for crying out loud
  • anyways it connects and you don’t see his face instead you see Tessa
  • at first you’re thinking “stanley what the hell”
  • and then it clicks like “wait a minute, i know that dog” and your eyes widen and the only thought in your brain is “no way, this must be a joke”
  • tom them pops onto the screen, holding tessa all “hello darling!”
    • mainly because he knows how much you love it when he says that
    • and you definitely ranted to him about how badly you wanted him to call you that
  • you just kind of sit there somewhat in shock going on and on about how “this is a joke. this is seriously a joke. there is no way i am on a skype call with tom holland”
  • and tom just laughs and says “it’s not a joke, darling, it’s actually me”
  • and you’re feeling so flustered and slightly embarrassed because you had basically talked about him all the time to him
  • lots and lots of blushing from you
    • tom finds it completely adorable
  • after your first initial call you guys become skype buddies
    • you’d try to call nearly everyday when you could
    • it took you ages for you to stop blushing at the SIGHT of him
  • it took a while for you to be calm around him and not blush every time he looked at you
    • tom found this absolutely adorable
  • you soon realize you don’t really have much to talk about
  • mainly because all you did was talk about him with him
  • so you talk about spider-man and all the other avengers because he’s such a marvel nerd
  • you take quizzes online to see who’s better and smarter with their avengers trivia
    • there’s lots of teasing afterwards from the winning party
  • after a while, tom gives you his phone number which is a huge step for him
  • just so he can call you and have late night calls over the phone
    • you always want to talk but you don’t want your phone bill to be absolutely insane
    • “tom i really wanna talk but my phONE BILL”
    • “pfft i’ll pay for it now please just stay on the phone with me, i wanna talk to you”
  • you guys fall asleep on the phone quite frequently because neither of you want to hang up
  • okay and hear me on this
  • tom would definitely be the type to surprise you by paying a visit to your hometown
  • and not telling you a single thing about it
  • he just sits and waits for you to figure it out
  • you’d be sitting at home in your pajamas having only woken up a few hours ago
  • and tom would skype you while he’s walking around your city/town
  • and you’re just casually talking until “hey wait a second I KNOW THAT THE CAFE”
  • he just laughs at you and probably winks
  • you’re in a slight bit of denial and don’t think twice about it before running out on the streets in your pajamas
    • which typically consist of spandex shorts and a hoodie most nights
    • it didn’t matter if it was two miles away you ran the whole entire way there
  • and your first real life meeting you run into him, knocking him backwards because you had been running so fast
  • you just stand there in front of him in your pajamas, red in the face and out of breath with your hands on your knees
    • “i just ran…two miles…to see if you…were actually here”
    • he laughs because there’s his adorable girl in front of him in her pjs who ran into town just to see him
    • he feel pretty flattered
  • it’s a little awkward though
    • he goes for a hug and you go for a handshake
    • you both kind of awkwardly laugh and switch the roles
    • more awkward laughing ensues because we’re good friends but we’ve never actually met in person before oH nO
    • but he just pulls you into a tight hug and your cheeks flush and you realize that he smells really good
  • tom offers to talk you out to breakfast in your pajamas
    • it’s pretty adorable to say the least
    • he definitely makes a comment about them
    • “by the way i love the outfit darling”
    • you just sit there pretty mortified
    • “alaodjsosnSHUT UP TOM”
  • and after he takes you to breakfast he begs you to show him around
    • “please y/n i really wanna see where you grew up”
    • “tom”
    • “please please please”
    • “tom i’m iN mY pAJAMaS”
    • “i don’t care, cmon please”
    • “!!!no i’m at least going back home to get actual pants”
  • and toms pretty confused and he’s like “what am i supposed to do then?”
  • “you come with me doofus”
  • he’s pretty shook because he actually gets to see where you live
    • even if it is for two seconds while you change
  • you get to your house and go to change completely forgetting about the old baby, school, and family photos hanging on the walls
  • he’s completely enthralled by them all
    • “aw y/n look at you! you’re so cute and tiny”
    • “jsksl thOMAS NO STOP”
  • you’re completely mortified because all of  those are the worst photos of your entire existence
  • and when you actually change you have to physically drag him out of the house
    • “aw but i wanted to see more pictures”
    • “you can see more later”
    • that’s a lie you don’t ever want him seeing old pictures of you again
  • the whole time you’re showing him around he never stops smiling
  • because you’re actually glowing when you explain things and tell him your different childhood stories
  • and then you suddenly remember that time you talked about how nice his ass is
    • you just stop in the middle of the sidewalk and tom’s looking at you so confused
    • “oH mY GOD IM SORRY ABOUT THAT ASS COMMENT I MADE BEFORE”
    • he just sits there and laughs at you
    • “it’s okay love i promise”
    • you’re still mortified by it
  • so!! much!! blushing!!
    • not just from you but from him too
  • overall you spend the entire day together creating so many new memories and inside jokes
    • you take lots of silly pictures together
    • and of each other
  • you’re pretty bummed when he has to leave to go back home
    • “do you have to leave?”
    • “unfortunately love”
    • “i’ll miss you this was fun, next time warn me though”
    • and he laughs and nods and promises he will
  • “i’m serious though i’m really going to miss you”
  • “i know darling i’ll miss you too”
  • and wow i need tom as my internet friend right now
★*゚‘゚・The Mummy (1999)

❝ What are you doing here? ❞
❝ You must go. Save yourself. Only you can resurrect me. ❞
❝ By eating the sacred scarabs, I would be cursed to stay alive forever. And by eating me, they were cursed just the same. ❞
❝ I knew this was gonna be a lousy day. ❞
❝ Personally, I would like to surrender. Why can we not just surrender? ❞
❝ Then let’s run away. Right now. While we can still make it. ❞
❝ Now gimme your revolver, you’ll never use it anyway. ❞
❝ Let’s play dead, huh? Nobody ever does that anymore. ❞
❝ What are ya doing?! Wait up! ❞
❝ I’m gonna get you for this! ❞
❝ I’m sorry, it was an accident. ❞
❝ Have you no respect for the dead? ❞
❝ Where did you get this? ❞
❝ Two questions. Who the hell is Seti the First? And was he rich? ❞
❝ As the Americans would say: it’s all fairy tales and hokum. ❞
❝ I’m sure it was a fake, anyway. ❞
❝ You lied to me! ❞
❝ I lie to everybody, what makes you so special? ❞
❝ And what is he in prison for? ❞
❝ He said… he was just looking for a good time. ❞
❝ What did you find? What did you see? ❞
❝ Get me the hell outta here. ❞
❝ I will give you one hundred pounds to spare his life. ❞
❝ Yeah, I’d like ya to let me go. ❞
❝ Then we will kill her, we will kill her and all those with her. ❞
❝ For all the money we’re paying you, something better god-damned well be under that sand. ❞
❝ Do you really think he’ll show up? ❞
❝ Personally, I think he’s filthy, rude and a complete scoundrel. I don’t like him one bit. ❞
❝ I have come to protect my investment, thank you very much. ❞
❝ I only gamble with my life, never my money. ❞
❝ What makes you so confident, sir? ❞
❝ Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya. ❞
❝ Still angry that I kissed ya, huh? ❞
❝ The last time I was at that place everybody I was with died.  ❞
❝ By the way,… why did you kiss me? ❞
❝ You always did have more balls than brains. ❞
❝ Can you swim? ❞
❝ Americans. ❞
❝ I can’t believe the price of these fleabags. ❞
❝ All night you snored!  ❞
❝ What in bloody hell is this? ❞
❝ Ah, begging your pardon, but shouldn’t we be going? ❞
❝ You boys owe me five hundred dollars. ❞
❝ Where’d all these camels come from? ❞
❝ That thing gives me the creeps. ❞
❝ What are those mirrors for? ❞
❝ Who cares? I don’t see no treasure. ❞
❝ You’re welcome to my share of the spider webs. ❞
❝ Mummies, my good son, this is where they made the mummies. ❞
❝ Ya scared the bejeezus out of us. ❞
❝ I’ve had worse. ❞
❝ Let’s be nice, children, if we’re going to play together, we must learn to share. ❞
❝And when those dirty Yanks go to sleep – No offence. ❞
❝ We’ll sneak up and steal that book right out from under them. ❞
❝ What do you suppose killed him? ❞
❝ I believe if I can see it and I  can touch it, then it’s real. That’s what I believe. ❞
❝ Why do you like to fight so much? ❞
❝ LEAVE THIS PLACE!… LEAVE THIS PLACE DIE! ❞
❝ For them to protect it like this, you just know there’s got to be treasure down there. ❞
❝ …I am a librarian! ❞
❝ I can’t believe I allowed the two of you to get me drunk. ❞
❝ You dream about dead guys? ❞
❝ Stupid superstitious bastard. ❞
❝ Oh my god, he was buried alive. ❞
❝ What are you going to do? Shoot him? ❞
❝ Did you see that!? Grasshoppers! Billions of grasshoppers! ❞
❝ That’s one of the plagues, right? The grasshopper plague! ❞
❝ Oh thank goodness, you’re one of the Americans, aren’t you? ❞
❝ RUN, YOU SONS-A-BITCHES! RUUUUN! ❞
❝ Help me,… please,… help me. ❞
❝ No mortal weapons can kill this creature. He is not of this world. ❞
❝ You left me! You left me in the desert to rot. ❞
❝ Sweet Jesus! That tasted just like,…like… ❞
❝ You saved me from the undead. For this, I shall make you immortal. ❞
❝ There’s only one person I know who can possibly give us some answers. ❞
❝ And you think this justifies killing innocent people!? ❞
❝ Okay, let’s cut to the chase. He’s afraid of cats, what’s that about? ❞
❝ The hell with that! I’m not goin’ nowhere! We’re safe here. ❞
❝ What friend? You’re my only friend. ❞
❝ What are you looking for? Lie, and I’ll slit your throat. ❞
❝ Something about bringing his dead girly-friend back to life. He needs the book… ❞
❝ Ya know, ever since I met you, my luck has been for crap. ❞
❝ The hell with this. I’m goin, downstairs to get me a drink. You want somethin’? ❞
❝ Yeah, get me a glass of bourbon, a shot of bourbon and a bourbon chaser. ❞
❝ Jealous? You kiddin’ me? Did you see that guy’s face? ❞
❝ Is it dangerous? ❞
❝ Save the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy and steal his treasure. ❞
❝ You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself, always get their comeuppance. ❞
❝ From now on, don’t touch anything. Not a damn thing. Keep your hands off the furniture, got it? ❞
❝ He wants your heart and your brain, your liver, your kidneys… ❞
❝ I never killed a priest before. ❞
❝ Kill them! Kill them all! And bring me the Book Of The Living! ❞
❝ This just keeps gettin, better and better. ❞
❝ Death is only the beginning. ❞
❝ Well,… I guess we go home empty handed. ❞

I keep seeing articles on how the Power Rangers isn’t doing well and most likely won’t get a sequel which makes me really sad so I’m about to pull a Trini and let Kimberly hurl me off a motherfucking cliff.

Hiveswap Teaser #2 Analysis

So, first of all, HYPE. Although I never stopped being Hyped but. MORE HYPE. Before I start talking at all about the teaser trailer, I gotta say, I’m glad WP are taking their time refining and bug-fixing to make a great game for us to enjoy, and knowing how far along it is and how close the release date might be, we’ll wait to see how it comes out!

Okay so the teaser, first we start with what seems like Joey peeping into the attic of the house through a hole. That already makes me feel we’ll get the little tease of knowing where to go but forbidding us from seeing what’s behind the cool curtain until we find the key that opens the door there.

There are a LOT of guns, some sarcophagus, tons of horse imagery, statues in the background, mirrors, Jake sure loves tossing stuff he finds during his adventures around the house! The multitude of items frame the centerpiece of the portal quite well, and the eerie glow gives-

Wait.

Okay, wait, what the FUCK JAKE.

DO YOU SEE WHAT I’M SEEING?

WHERE THE HELL DID JAKE GET THE CLOCK?!

We start /well/ if this is the kind of shenanigans Hiveswap has prepared for us, oh my god. This means that by this point in the timeline, Jake had access to SBURB stuff, though, so that’s an interesting thing to have in mind.

The camera zooms on the portal, and then Joey appears, reaching over to expose it, before cutting to the title. Hiveswap.

Can I say, I’m really glad about the direction they took with the 2D stuff. Everything looks so good, Joey’s expressions and movement are so sweet. I love her already.

The next scene cuts to Jude using a flare gun (Which we see later in his inventory) likely to warn Joey or to use it as a distraction somewhere else? The pile of leaves right under the window makes me think he’ll have to hop right off the window and into it in the future. There’s also a fountain on the wall that looks like a Lich, further confirming Jake’s already gone hunting to the Medium by this point. Also, the sky, the clouds, the background, looks absolutely GORGEOUS.

Then the flare lands in front of the house, and here we can see a few things. First of all, the statue. Of course. And also, I bet Jude cut the bushes to look like Nessie because he’s a cryptid fan. However, there’s a thing I just realised. I don’t know if this was a detail in the prior trailer or not but…

Doesn’t the house look just… Not taken care of? The previews of the inside, all the stuff just thrown everywhere, I assumed Jake was just kinda like that, messy. But the look of the house on the outside, with the broken pillars and the vegetation growing everywhere. The broken glass is likely from the monsters, but otherwise…

Jake. How long have you left those two poor kids alone? Not to say, wherever ‘Hauntswich’ is, there doesn’t seem to be a soul ANYWHERE in the surrounding area except for their creepy neighbours.

Next, Joey is crawling through the vents, either to get in or escape from some monsters, and while happy, soon the vents shake and her expression shifts. The way her expression dynamically changes like that, I love it, makes me think a lot about some Homestuck panels. That being said, either the vent is shaky, there’s something BIG and lumbering down the halls of the manor, or the damage to the house is more extensive than it appears.

Then, oh boy the UI looks neat! Worried Joey wanders the halls of her basement, I presume. The X at the top-left might be to make the UI disappear, or perhaps a quick quit to the game? Options on the top-right, help… Then, the inventory seems managed with Captcha Cards, of course. Easy to access and drag around to combine with stuff. Then there’s her battle… Stances? Weapons? There’s what seems like a ‘stomp’, her normal shoes. Then ballerina shoes, and her flashlight.

This makes me wonder how the combat system is. Furthermore- Joey seems to have the shoe selected! What’s that for? Maybe to hint that’s what you want to do in a sneak attack? Or is it not the weapons, and just something more like her ‘stance’? But if it was her stance, wouldn’t the flashlight be the one chosen right now? We’ll see how that works.

Of course, more to the right, there’s the character… Selector? Right now we have Joey, and you can talk with your Jude with a Walkie-Talkie. Straight-forward enough.

Also Jake, please.

Jude’s side of things isn’t looking too hot. That mansion looks fucking MASSIVE. It looks more like a village, but everything’s too… Bunched up together for that to be the case. Lumbering shadows, just there. Staring. The view is amazing, but very, very eerie. Here we see he only has a flare gun- Which we see him using earlier. Again, straight-forward enough.

Now is when things start getting interesting.

First of all, the new design of the Cherub Key is amazing. Cherub Teeth are the fangs, with the Calliope-Caliborn spiral in the middle, and the snakes coiling up. But also-

IT’S ALIVE? JESUS THAT’S CREEPY.

Creepiness aside, I like this much, much more. The one preview we had when it was still 3D had Joey actually reaching in to turn it on herself, just out of pure curiosity. In this situation, however? She’s being /dragged/ by the key, forced to open the portal, not by her own volition. This makes much more sense narrative-wise, and also makes me wonder if the key itself is a Juju. The lollipop forced Jane to lick it after all, and Jake has the CLOCK, so a Juju key with a Juju teleporter? Yeah, that fits.

The cherub snake-beams activate and… Okay, while the glow of the energy is red on the Caliborn snake and green on the Calliope one, both the eyes AND the sparks around the energy are green on both sides. Maybe the teleporter uses First Guardian energy in some capacity?

Finally, we switch to the Trolls! Xefros is a cutie, and that’s some RADICAL VIOLET BLOOD riding a… Bronze grub. That sure’s a way to promote the drink. Anyone can decypher what the can says?

Then we have a first GOOD look at Xefros’ Hive! There’s a picture of the Sloth Lusus, Xefros and Dammek. Cute. Also there’s a tree going through the entire top, maybe his hive is like Terezi’s? It could be, his Lusus IS a Sloth, and Joey switches with Dammek, so it’d make sense Dammek is the one with the more urban hive.

We see an Alternian Phone, some videogame, with HEXAGONAL DISCS. I don’t care if it’s more bug-like, that’s so incredibly inconvenient and asinine, Hussie, What Pumpkin. >:V Then of course, theres Trizza broadcasting her memes permanently on the TV, and the first look at Xefros’ weapon of choice! Which seems to be a… Cricket bat? Cool.

Then Xefros slams the can of soda against his forehead to crush it. Nice.

This is a lovely look at the urban look of Alternia. It’s curious, Trolls are nocturnal so I expected to see more activity at night. Then again, Drones have been taking Trolls to cull, so it’d make sense if they’re all hiding.

ALSO DAMMEK’S LUSUS! They’re riding it around :D Likely going from Dammek’s place and towards Xefros’ if he does live in a tree-Hive. The background of the Alternian Landscape is absolutely haunting.

We have a VS Screen! Not only that, but Joey’s reaction to each enemy and situation seems to vary from one to the next. That’s a nice touch.

Joey, you’re being unnecessarily extra. That’s Jude’s pigeon though, and the bat monster seems surprised by Joey’s dramatic entrance!

Okay so, the thing at the bottom seems like it’s maybe the battle system? The right arrow points at Joey, so maybe it’s her turn and when it’s the monster’s it points left. Then the three spikes at the top might expand into something like. Abscond, Abjure, Aggrieve? Again, I have no idea how the system will work. Also, the bat seems confused and bouncing around. It’s hard to tell if this is RIGHT after the Vs Screen, and being surprised made it flip the fuck out, or if Joey did something that confused it and made it bounce around.

The state of the kitchen really drives home the fact Jake has been an absent father for a VERY LONG TIME. Have they just been ordering noodles to eat all this time? I can see some adorable pictures on the fridge.

There she goes. What do you wanna bet that in Hauntswitch Act 1 we get a scene exactly like this but with Dammek’s silhouette going down the red shaft?

Me too, Joey. Me too.

Finally, “The door is nearly open” seems like a reference to the little line on the Hiveswap page: “First thing’s first. You need to open the door.”

Conclusion: I NEED THIS GAME NOW. Patiently waiting for it to come out, still very hype.